Welcome to Good Mythical Morning. If you know, you know. Here we are, we’re doing this. What? But first, we’re boogieing down now. What face were you making? Just a happy boogie down face. Kind of like. I was. Oh, you’re scrunchy. That’s my new face. All right, sometimes you’re invited to a thing and you’re supposed to bring something you don’t know what to bring, you gotta figure it out. We’re gonna help you do that right now in Good Mythical Morning. P.S. These are all very relatable events and occasions that we’re gonna be talking about. Okay, let’s hear one. For instance, your sibling has joined a cult and they’re throwing an end of the world party. It happens. They’ve told you to leave all your earthly possessions behind, but to bring up dish as it’s a potluck. What do you bring? Typically when you’ve got a relative in a cult they’re estranged from you, that’s kind of part of being in a cult is that, you know, they cut ties. They usually don’t invite you to these end of the world parties. So it is kind of cool when you get invited. Well I think it means you’re a member of the cult if you get invited. Or they’re recruiting you, you gotta keep your guard up. So you wanna bring something that says, you know what? I’m here for my sibling, but hopefully to rescue them and my guards up. I am not susceptible to your cultish notions. So some kind of, I mean, you could get a cake and you could write that on it, but that’s a little overt. You gonna wanna be a little bit more subtle. I think, honestly, I think the thing you bring is the part of the strategy of rescuing your siblings. Right. I think it’s gotta be something that gives everyone diarrhea. Oh, there you go. I hate to say it, but I think you’re gonna have to poison the cult. Food poison. Food poisoning. Which isn’t that what happened in that documentary on Netflix? Oh, you talking about Big Country. What’s it called? Was it the people in the cult poison the town? They poisoned the town- They poisoned the small town So this is reversal. You got to poison the cult. You don’t wanna kill ’em you just wanna give them everybody, including your relative. You don’t wanna kill him. That’s the whole. Real bad diarrhea. They’re gonna kill themselves, right, so? You wanna stop him from killing themselves by poisoning them. The minute you make eye contact with your sibling as they’re like, ugh, diarrhea, and you just hold up a diaper as a lure. You’re like, you want this? I know you want this. And you run and they follow you. And then you put ’em in the back of a truck. So what’s the biggest thing, biggest dish Okay. That can turn, but you don’t know it. No, I think you have to, the dish has to be something that you know your sibling hates. But then everybody else loves. Exactly, so then your sibling doesn’t eat the dish so there’s no diapers involved. Right? Even better. That’s what my, that’s the answer says, so. Call it sour pork. You have to call it. It’s like, oh, it’s yeah, it smells rancid because it’s sour. Well, I mean, it just depends on what. Sour pork casserole. It depends on what your, you called it Big Country. It’s Wild, Wild Country, just saw that. Wild, Wild Country. Heaven’s Gate is the poisoning of a town. Not Wild Country. No Wild, Wild Country, they did it. They did it, too. They did it with the buffet in town, in that town. 751 people contracted salmonella. I gotta lot of eyes on me. I got a lot of wide eyes. They went down there to the Oregon Buffet in the small town and they poisoned everybody. How do you guys feel now? How do these eyes feel now, now that you told me to say that? Yeah. What? I would say some sort of big flat casserole. Yeah, a sour pork casserole, that’s it. It depends on. It’s supposed to smell like that. It depends on Eat it. It depends on what your siblings taste is. Little to the next level. I think that was a great idea. I mean, it’s a terrible idea because you’re gonna give a lot of people diarrhea, but I think that was really strategic. Yeah. I’m proud of your answer. Here’s the thing though You did a good job- Here’s the thing, you can’t force someone out of a cult. If you grab somebody out of a cult against their will, they’ll go right back to it. They have to come out of a cult on their own power. So that’s where I feel like you gotta, actually, you need to find the favorite food that only your sibling likes and then you dangle that and then you run away, you bring it and then you run away. So you’ve poisoned your siblings. No, in my, this version there’s no poison. No, I think you could just do it that way. But Stevie, you know, it’s interesting. You say it’s like the lesser of two evils, reminds me of a story that I was told. Last time I went home, the local doctor in Lillington came up to me at a funeral, actually. That’s an honor. And he was like, you know what, I’ve got a story for you. This is Dr. Briggs. Yes. You remember Dr. Briggs? I do. Dr. Briggs is retired now, so I’m at the funeral. I think he’s seen my nuts. He’s seen my nuts too. Yeah. When I saw him and he introduced himself, I immediately thought you’ve not only seen, but you’ve touched my nuts. Like that hand I’m shaking right now has shaken my nuts. Yeah cause he- For medical purposes. He would do the turn and cough. Yeah he did. You know, when you had to get the hernia inspection before you could play soccer. Yeah, or any sport, really? I went, that’s the only sport I really wanted to play. Yeah yeah, the hernia test was for any sport. Before that, my mom would take, my mom worked to the health department. I’m digressing here, but it’s worth it. Yeah. Wait, when was this? Uh, middle school. This doesn’t happen. It’s a tough time to drop your trow. Especially when your mom works at the health department. And she’s like, you know what? Instead of you going to the doctor, why don’t you just come to my place of work with the women that I work with and I’ll send you into this room that’s not an exam room. And then- They’ll touch your balls This, you know, Linda here, who you know, and who knows me is going to hold your balls while you cough. And you agreed to this? I wanted to play soccer. I mean, the sacrifices you make. And so the next year I was like, mom, I don’t wanna go back to Linda. I want, can I make an appointment somewhere? And I think you went to Dr. Briggs, so maybe I mentioned that. I think everybody did. So this is something you both were doing? We weren’t, it wasn’t- This is not something they do. It wasn’t a hobby. I’ve not heard of this- You don’t have balls. Every single person or every single dude who made, who played sports in the late eighties early nineties. They had a medical check- You had to get- Before you were cleared to play. You had to turn and cough. It was like. That is so weird. Yeah. I just thought it was a unique part of your upbringing. Did anybody else? No. Anyone else experience this? We learn a lot. Yeah, and it’s like every guy here. Oh, every guy here? Turn and cough. Every athletic guy here. No, no. No, oh. No, no. I’m getting no’s. Shots fired. Shots fired. So the next year I went to Dr. Briggs and I turned and coughed, and then when I saw him at the funeral that’s the first thing I thought. When you shook his hand, did you turn and cough? It’s just like, it’s just a reflex. I’m not touching that guy’s hands. Yeah. Oh, you fist bumped him. I mean, I don’t care about him touching my balls. It’s just all the other balls. It’s all worn off by now, he’s retired. He hadn’t been retired that long, but he said, you know what, I’ve got a story about your- Balls. About your granddad Lincoln that I always think about. And I just wanted to tell you. I was like, hey, well, you know what, we’re at funeral. Go for it. And, he said that he went to the, he got a call, he was like, this was decades ago. When your grandfather Lincoln was chief of police in in Lillington, he said, I got a call to the Bird’s grocery store, which is now a, IGA? Piggly Wiggly? A church. Church. He said a man had collapsed at the checkout line. And, so I started, Church. And he was out. So I had to give him CPR, mouth to mouth. Oh. And once I started doing that, trying to resuscitate this man, everybody cleared away except for your grandfather. Because you know, he was the chief of police. And, at a certain point, he said, I needed some help. I needed to do something, so I turned to your grandfather and I said, can you take over? And he said that my papa Lincoln started coughing and said, ah, I think I’m coming down with something. I don’t wanna give it to him. Lesser of two evils, Stevie. Wow. Was there- He thought it was hilarious. there a happy ending to the story, or did the man just die? He was like, The guy was already dead and he knew it. Are you joking? Yeah, he was already dead. That’s the end of the story? Yeah. I mean, at a certain point, somebody, wait, you give him out the mouth, but they’re already dead. I don’t want to give that dead man what I’ve got , the last thing he needs is a cold on top of being dead. You can see the humor in there, yeah. He told me, yeah, that’s the story I think I’m coming down with something. I don’t wanna give it to ’em. And he did a fake cough? Did he do that when he told you the story? Yes. That’s how he told me the story. Man, you are so related to your family. Yeah, I could see you doing that. Okay, your daughter, Wow. Has married a vampire. Cool cool cool. They’re very happy together. What blood-related dish do you bring to Christmas to make him feel like he’s part of the family? So they celebrate Christmas, but they are vampires now. Well unclear about the daughter, daughter could not be a vampire. Right? As she is? She’s Jewish. But, but she wants to be. She’s Jewish? She wants to be. Your daughter is converted to Judaism and married a vampire. She’s very confused. Well, no, maybe she’s got it all figured out. Well, so is the vampire gonna bite Lily? Let’s make this personal. Let me look. So is there an agreement here? It does not seem as if the vampire’s gonna bite Lily, no. Okay, good. No, he’s happy to, or she? Right. Just to be. Or they? Just to be- Or vampire? Just to be in partnership with my daughter. Yep. And the way that they do not consume your daughter’s blood is via these bloody dishes that you’re bringing to Christmas. So this is important, you know, cause this is gonna help satiate. I don’t think vampires, I don’t wanna speak for all vampires, but I will. I don’t think they enjoy blood unless it’s directly from the source, I don’t think that they want like a blood-infused. No. Have you not seen True Blood? I mean, True Blood was a synthetic beverage, but it did sustain them, so yes. Oh, hold on, I didn’t watch True Blood. Oh. Oh you gotta watch True Blood, it’s a good classic. They had synthetic blood beverages? Are there like sex scenes super cuts? That’s what True Blood is, True Blood is a product. Let me tell you about the synopsis of True Blood. It’s, you know- It’s super sexy, right? Vampires live out in the open with regular people. Oh, is that Skarsgård? Guys, how did you sleep on this? Oh, Skarsgård, okay. Anna Paquin. He’s in Succession now. And the way that they don’t eat humans is because they’ve manufactured this True Blood drink. So now you can get True Blood, they serve True Blood at different restaurants and convenience stores so that vampires can walk amongst regular people. And this is where we’re headed. Wow. With our answer. You just bring a six-pack of True Blood. I mean, I didn’t even know that was a thing. So True Blood is a beverage? Yeah. That’s cheesy. Man. It’s a good show. That goes for many seasons right? How much- Yeah. How much do they show in the naughty naughty? They show, they show some. How much do they show in the naughty naughty? Category. They show a little T and A, right? Well it’s an HBO show. Yeah. But it’s HBO like, late 2000s? Does it hold up? Mmhm, yeah. I’ve actually watched it recently, it’s like, in the kind of Six Feet Under category. Oh gosh, you gotta watch. I don’t like blood forward shows, you know. It, I don’t know. I like it, I would recommend. All flavor, no bite. Okay, huh. So yeah. See, you can create something. I mean, you could just have bags of blood. You could just back up the blood mobile. You know what I’m saying? I think I’d bring True Blood and put my own private label on it. I like that. That’s what I’d do. We made this just for you, George. Call it Blood Brothers. Call it Blood Daddy. Okay. Cause I’m the daddy. Okay. Blood Daddy. Blood Daddy in law. Blood Daddy in law, yeah. That’s not as catchy as Blood Daddy. You know what? Before we can keep playing this great game. I do wanna let you know that we have a secret we’ve been keeping, we’ve been keeping a secret for a while now, it’s an announcement and we will be making the announcement soon. But let me tell you right now, the only way that you can get any insight in what this big secret announcement is by going over to the Mythical Society where we did a little sneak peak to give you a kind of a tease of what that secret might be. If you’re really perceptive, maybe you’ll figure it. Uh-huh. You know what I’m saying? And also if you look in the comments of this video, no one’s gonna reveal the secret there. But what we’ve already been reading the comments in the main video and what we learned is that this is a reference to Ben 10- Ben 10 the animated television series. Cause he had a watch. My son actually had the watch. The licking part we don’t know about. But in the comments, thank you for telling us in the comments that this is from Ben 10. I think as the watch gets old, sometimes it needs a little saliva, just a . Don’t let us forget that. Don’t let us forget that. You should combine that with some industrial dancing. Next time we boogie down. It’s all about wrist slapping. Get ready for it. Okay, his next one is a Carney special. He would like me to read it and I’m slightly confused on. Oh, to be clear, Megan wrote it, but Carney really likes it. Good. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way. Megan Malone. Yeah, you’re about to meet your prison husband, but in all your letter writing, see, this is where I’m lost. It’s pretty early to be lost Cause a prison husband, you don’t really write letters to, but okay fine. Megan, is Megan in the room? You’re about to meet your prison husband. Now she’s not taking credit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s like I definitely didn’t write this one. Oh, the prison husband one, yeah, wasn’t me. You forgot to ask him what his favorite last meal would be, okay. So this is a person that is on death row that you are writing to and you’re not in prison. Can we talk about the definition of prison husband after this? When we cut, I’ll let you know what, what that actually means, but sure. Just means it husband who’s in prison. This is a man who’s in prison who you’ve been writing to who you love and he is about to die and you’re gonna feed him his last meal, but you don’t know what it is, so you’re gonna have to guess. Right? Mmhm. What do you bring to that particular occasion? We’d like to clarify, Maisey’s the one who wrote this. Okay. Okay, and we will talk afterwards. All right. Maisey. Wow. Okay. This is tough. This is morally complex. So you’re, the communication is one way? Unclear. It could be a pen pal situation, At a certain point though. You could have fallen for each other via letter. At a certain point though. But people do fall in love after someone’s in prison. That happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s being led to the chamber and you can’t reply to the letter and be like, oh, tell me what you want. So you just gotta show up with it. Hmmmm. This is a last meal. Cause some people fall in love. Didn’t like- Excellent series on- Manson fell in love with somebody and got married, right? I do. Yeah, I think that this is a thing. The other definition of prison husband would be, you know, if you entered into Yeah, mmhm. Yeah, yeah, it would be all relationships that starts when you’re in prison. Yeah. And you know exactly what he likes to eat. No, why did no one else laugh? No one else laughed. That was one of my better . Everyone else was just sad, I guess? Sad, upset? One of my brighter moments. I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. I don’t think, you know what? I think this is the unanswerable question. What do you bring someone who who’s having their last meal and you don’t know what they like? Cyanide. I think you just look up most- I think pizza. Most popular food. I mean, how could you go wrong with pizza? Hey, I got you pizza, everybody loves it. Oh, you’re lactose intolerant. See, I mean it’s just- Yeah, but it doesn’t matter an unanswerable question. It doesn’t matter, man. You could still be lactose intolerant. See, there you go. In fact, that’s probably what you want. Yeah. I brought you pizza. Cyanide laced, just get it over with. And we’re back to poison. Reject one color cup boredom and embrace multicolor cup mythicality. Get the color changing Mythic cup variety pack. Now at http://www.mythical.com.