
Today we’ve got some food crimes with no chance at parole. – Let’s talk about that. (cheerful music) Good Mythical Morning. – We’re about to examine some truly atrocious food crimes, but before we do, this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by Keeps, an online subscription service that helps men keep their hair, plain and simple. – Keeps offers clinically proven, research-backed treatments to stop hair loss and improve hair growth, and that’s gotta be welcome news to the two out of three men who will experience hair loss by the time they’re 35. – Now, my hair does whatever it wants, and I am grateful for that, but some men’s hair does the opposite of what they want, and that’s where Keeps comes in. – Yeah, Keeps has a network of expert medical advisors, prescribers, and care specialists to support you in making your hair goals a reality. My hair goal is to have a free-standing do, which is why I spend quality time with my quaff every morning, giving him a pep talk. – Does your quaff ever talk back? – Yeah, sometimes he’ll squeak “It’s windy today! I’m scared!” And I’ll say “Stand tall, Hairy, you can do this!” – Okay. Whether you’re looking to prevent hair loss, stimulate hair growth, or just take better care of the hair you have, Keeps has you covered. In addition to clinically proven treatments, Keeps has an award-winning all natural thickening shampoo and conditioner system. – And you can get everything your hair needs delivered straight to your door. – God forbid your quaff ever run low on hair products. – Oh, no, if that happens, Hairy starts yelling “Code red, code red!” Until I refill the products. – I’m glad I’m never there for that. – Yeah. You ever heard Hairy? – I haven’t, until today. – He only speaks to me. – And I think you’re just doing an impersonation. – In my… – Yeah. Hair loss stops with Keeps. To get 50% off your first order, go to Keeps.com/GMM or click the link in the description, that’s K-E-E-P-S.com/GMM. – Thanks again to Keeps for sponsoring this portion of today’s episode. – In the food crimes world, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. Those who commit crimes against food, and Redditors who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. – Dun-dun. – But there’s a third group out there as well. The people who find and comment on the food crimes and then taste them for entertainment purposes. This is our story. It’s time for, “It’s a Crime to Prepare Foods in Such Heinous Ways, and We’re Here to Tell You That Food Crime Never Pays.” A food crime is an ungodly dish that someone had the hubris to create and share photos of online, only to receive blasphemous cries from the public who declared them crimes against humanity and our taste buds. – We posted a series of face offs between food crimes found online, and you voted on which dishes that you thought were the most worthy of jail time. – And now the Mythical Kitcheneers have recreated these food crimes for us, and after we taste them, we’re gonna guess which one we think you said was worse. – Okay. Points are gonna escalate each round, the loser is gonna have to eat a surprise super food crime created by the Mythical Kitchen. – All right, let’s bring out the first two for questioning. (dramatic music) – Okay, we’re starting out with the meat chunks and liquid in bowls round, Rhett. – Yeah! Hungry. Uh-huh. – You okay with that? All right, we’ve got tuna, pickles and Alfredo sauce. – [Rhett] Yum. – [Link] Oh, gosh. Versus chicken nuggets with gravy and ketchup in Yorkshire pudding. – Okay, this one over here, originally posted by user Gear-Roxy, who said “So apparently this is gross, but I like it,” and then the caption was “I, uh, might’ve accidentally invented a war crime, uh, tuna, pickles, and Alfredo sauce. It tastes really good, though.” – [Link] Tuna, pickles- – [Rhett] We shall be the judge of that. – [Link] Alfredo sauce. – The pickles are chunky because the pickles were chunky in the picture. – [Link] This is so… – Somebody asked “Are you pregnant?” And Gear-Roxy said “Nope!” – “Nope!” – It’s not bad. – Anything swimming in Alfredo sauce is gonna… It’s got a leg up. – It’s really not bad at all. I mean, tuna fish is already- – You know what happens when you get a leg up sometimes, though. – Well you fart if you’re not careful. – Yeah. Or get peed on if you’re a dog. – Oh. The creaminess and, you might be turned off by the creaminess and the fish together, but I don’t know, tartar sauce, and then tuna fish, like, and pickles, I feel like this is actually just an iteration on tuna fish. But this… This is something else, entirely. – [Link] First of all, what is Yorkshire pudding, Josh? – [Josh] Have you ever had a Dutch baby? That’s a terrible explanation. – A Dutch baby? – [Josh] It’s a British- – We adopted one for a while. – [Josh] It’s just like flour and stuff. – It’s just bread. It’s a bread bowl. – [Josh] Yeah, no, you described it way better than I did. – [Link] Okay. OoOSamOoO posted “My fiance’s idea of a tasty lunch. Chicken nuggets, gravy and ketchup, and giant Yorkshire pudding.” Oh my gosh. – [Rhett] So I feel like I’m getting… Oh, gosh. – I mean a chicken nugget… – Trying to get a nugget and gravy. – Yes, bread. – Oh, there we go. – Overkill. Ketchup, I mean why not? – It’s not bad, either. – The real standout here is the ketchup. It actually should’ve been left out. ‘Cause when you have gravy and ketchup, I don’t think that goes together, it’s like… – Too much liquid? – Meatloaf is either gravy meatloaf or ketchup meatloaf. Putting the two together doesn’t work. – But really, it’s because we’re sitting here eating ’em, I’m telling you both of ’em are kinda okay. But that’s not the question, the question is, which one do the Mythical Beasts think would be grosser, is a worse food crime just by looking at it and imagining it. – Well first, I’m gonna say that I prefer this one. And I never would’ve said that. That’s why I think that they voted for that one. – So you think that they thought this one was worse, even though you voted for it. – Even though it is better, yes. – Because you’re going against instinct. Are you just now discovering how the game works, and covering for yourself? – Nope. – I’m going with this one because I think- – I know how this works. I liked it, but I don’t think they did. – I think when people think about seafood, there’s a little bit of a, they back off a little bit, so I agree with you, I think this one was the one that the Mythical Beasts said was gross. – If we’re right, then you were wrong. – [Stevie] 59% of the Mythical Beasts thought that the tuna, pickles and Alfredo sauce was the bigger food crime. – But lemme tell ya, you were wrong. – You’re a little bit wrong, but actually, both of ’em are kinda okay. (dramatic music) Okay, now we’ve got some things that should never be inside of other things. – These categories are very fun. – Yeah, yeah. Jellied vegetable eggs, mm, and baked bean-stuffed donuts? Starting over here with the jellied vegetable eggs, posted originally by user Goatath. – [Link] Oh my god. – Who said- (crew chuckles) Okay, getting started early. Who said, “Jellied vegetable Easter eggs, for those who don’t like chocolate.” – Until they eat this, and then they start liking chocolate. That’s called perspective. – It just feels like there are so many other options for someone who doesn’t like chocolate. This is the first? “Oh, if you don’t like chocolate, the only thing I can think of is putting a bunch of veggies and meat into a gelatin egg.” – And it has to be cold, because that’s how it’s made, right? Because it is cold. – [Josh] Uh-huh. – Oh, gosh, it smells horrible. – [Josh] That’s a feature, not a bug. – What do they make this gelatin out of? – [Josh] I think it’s actually ground-up animal hooves. – Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. – Right, yeah, yeah, it’s like horse hooves. – I don’t mean that. – [Josh] I know, it smells like wet dog. – It sure does, it smells awful. – Oh, gosh. But it’s gonna be so healthy, Rhett. – Yeah, yeah, so healthy. Dink it. – Dink it, you sure you don’t wanna go ahead and vote? – That’s not really a dink, that’s more of just a little bounce, a little doink. – Bounce it? – It’s a doinky. (crew laughs) Doink it, and soink it. – Doing it. Soink it. – [Josh] It’s hard. Mm-hm. – For those who don’t like chocolate. (crew laughs) – Oh my gosh! – Introducing, the worst thing you’ve ever tasted. – Of all the bad things we’ve eaten on the show, I mean this is clearly not the worst, but… – Fresh broccoli. – I mean, it ranks up there. ‘Cause it ranks, man. – Consistency is real bad. – The granular nature of the pieces. – You’ve got chocolate donuts with baked beans on your plate, that’s exciting. – Yeah, this was originally posted on Facebook, and then it was reposted on the “Thanks I Hate It” by Floral_Couch_Potato, but we don’t know who originally posted this when they said “My first recipe, I’d love to share. Chocolate donuts stuffed with brown sugar baked beans.” – “My first recipe,” well find a new hobby. – “Often really tasty with bread and water.” – Here’s what I’ll say. – Bread and, what is it, a prisoner? – I’m the bean guy, right? So literally, a dozen times a day, people send me things with beans in it. Like “Have you seen this with beans in it? Have you seen this with beans in it?” And I, yes, the donuts with the beans in it, just because you sent it to me, doesn’t mean I’m gonna be like “Yeah, I gotta try that.” But here we are. It’s happening. – And there’s definitely beans in it. – Now I’m not gonna rip it open, because I wanna enjoy it as I would a normal donut, which is just you just bite into it, and you’re just thinking “It’s a donut.” – Yeah, but then by the time you get to the middle, you get some of this. – For those who do like chocolate. – I mean, if it were red beans, this would obviously be something that already exists. – Wow. – I don’t know, it’s like having your meal and your dessert together, it doesn’t come together as one thing. – Baked beans are already pretty sweet. They’re savory, it’s not a bad savory. I mean, this is coming from a bean guy. But this isn’t bad at all. – No, no, no, and you knew this. – Yeah, I mean ‘course, you already guessed over here, but there’s no way that you’re not right, right? – [Stevie] Yeah, I’m surprised the number is as low as it is, ’cause 67% of the Mythical Beasts thought that the jellied vegetable eggs was the bigger food crime. – Yeah. – That’s… That’s weird, y’all. – 33% of y’all. (dramatic music) – It’s the ice cream crime round. We have mac and cheese ice cream. – [Rhett] Yeah. – But I wouldn’t even call it that. It’s mac and cheese with ice cream on top of it. Versus what is an actual concoction, officially, buttered lobster ice cream. – Hm, hungry? Okay, this one, the macaroni and cheese ice cream, originally posted by SpankyDoodleWentTo. Where’d you go? – Everywhere, man. – Who said, “I couldn’t decide which to have, so say hello to macaroni ice cream.” And again, yeah, it’s just macaroni and cheese with some ice cream on top. Adrina422 said “What you have done is a sin. I pray for you, OP.” OP’s original poster. – I actually knew what it was, but I didn’t, I never thought about it. I knew what it meant- – You’re the guy who’s on Reddit all the time. – I’m on the Reddit all the time, but I’m not the- – “What is this OP? Is it Ocean Pacific, that brand I used to enjoy so much?” – And while I was holding this waiting to eat it, I found myself blowing on it for no good reason. – Now let’s just be real. This isn’t that gross, I mean, cheese and ice cream are both dairy products. In fact, if you… Isn’t it true if you like stir ice cream long enough, it becomes cheese? – Yeah. (Josh laughs) – I kinda like it, I just don’t like the mixing of temperatures. I like my mac and cheese to be hot. – I mean, as a guy who can’t bite ice cream, I don’t like putting anything in my mouth with ice cream that makes me bite the ice cream. So this is a negative experience for me, just viscerally, but taste-wise… – It’s not bad. – It’s not bad, but it’s oil and water, man. Doesn’t mix. Now this is thoroughly mixed, as I said, buttered lobster ice cream. It was posted by CosmicGlitterCake on StupidFood, but then everybody started commenting “I know where this is from, it’s served at Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium.” – Ben & Bill’s?! – Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium. It’s also an ice cream shop in Bay Harbor, Maine. – Harbor Maine? – Bay Harbor, Maine. I’m using this accent which is… – Man, holding your mouth like that. – Bay Harbor. So, the people in the comments said locals don’t eat this stuff. – Well here’s the thing, we were actually told, when we were making Inside Eats, for the ice cream episode, that this is the one place you don’t go, when it comes to ice cream. Seafood is the place you can’t go. – There’s not a lot of lobster in it, but I can definitely see the pink flecks. – [Rhett] I’m smelling the butter. – Let’s flex on it. – That’s not bad at all. – The ice cream is good. Then you’re just left with some really cold lobster meat. – It’s getting better with every bite. – No, man, it’s not. It’s not good, dude. I mean- – [Stevie] Guys, I’m gonna say this one was toight on the vote. It’s really toight. – Toight. – [Stevie] Super toight. – You know… – The ice cream itself is so good, that it helped me get through it, but, that’s nasty. – Everybody has got to assume that this is not, I mean, ice cream on mac and cheese, I don’t know. – You know what? I’ma- – If I get bored late at night… – She said it was toight. – [Stevie] I just said it was toight. – I know, so I’m gonna go out, I’ma take a risk here, and go against my instinct, to try to take the lead. ‘Cause I don’t wanna eat that thing that you’ve made, that I don’t even know what it is, but I know I’m not gonna like it. – [Josh] Why? It’s nice. – It’s nice, it’s nice. – [Stevie] 55% of the Mythical Beasts thought that the buttered lobster ice cream was the bigger food crime. – Yeah, well it is. – I had to try. – But they’re both pretty good. – I had to try. Dang it, Stevie. – Almost everything’s been good except- – [Stevie] Oh, don’t blame me! (crew chuckles) – Yeah. It was your fault. – I’m just venting, like, you know, you’re the closest shoulder to cry on. – [Stevie] Okay, I’ll accept that. (dramatic music) – This last round we’ve got things that might be food crimes in America, but apparently they are normal things in Germany and Eastern Europe. – Okay. – We’ve got OJ and cola versus pasta and milk. – OJ and cola? – Now the OJ and cola, originally posted by PenguinsInACar, it’s simple, it’s just orange juice and cola together. But apparently in Germany they call it Spezi. – Spezi! – Spezi. – Hey, you give something a good, catchy name, that goes a long way. – It’s a branded drink, and it’s also just the general term for doing this yourself. – We’re Spezi-ing ourselves. – Spezi! – What’s the ratio that you guys went with here? – [Josh] One to one. The German way. – Why not? (Rhett giggles) – I mean, it’s OJ-forward. It’s like a mimosa. – It looks awful. – It really does. – It tastes great, though. You need to drink this out of something you can’t look into. – With a one to one ratio, you don’t get too much of the cokey part of the cola, you just get the cola part. – It’s very complimentary, though. – Spezi! – It’s so Spezi. – Hey, I like it, man. I’m a world traveler. – Just right here at the desk. – [Link] Mm-hm. – Went to Germany and back. All right, but over there- – It’s good! – This is good, I mean, and I don’t know why anyone would think this is gross. – All right, so over here, noodles with sugar, in a bowl of milk. So it is gonna be sweetened. This was posted by charnreub on TikTok. So we’re gonna taste this thing, and debate it, to see if it’s a crime. But I’m told that the TikTok should be on trial. – Oh, okay. What is… what was that? What was the first part? – I was trying to read the thing. See, this is why it loops. (crew laughs) “When someone asks what I want for food x.” – Is she op… – [Stevie] This is the oldest man reaction to a TikTok ever. “I’m trying to read the beginning text, and what was that thing she did at the beginning?” – Opening the air and licking her hand! – And slapping her wrist. She opens the air, licks her hand, and slaps her wrist. – I mean, I do wanna watch it again. Lemme see if I can figure it out. Play it a few more times for me. – [Link] Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Rhett] Okay, she’s really, okay. – [Link] Spanking her… – Sometimes you gotta, yep, ah, yep. Okay. – Hey, this has to be our new thing. Now this TikTok’s been out for a couple of years, but every time we eat something now. (crew chuckles) We gonna have to do it. I mean, we gotta work on our spunk, though. – Yeah, man. – And our topknot. – I think I might just stick with Spezi. Oh. – I like cereal. This is kinda like… – Now, did you mention that milk soup, which this is kinda reminiscent of, is common? – This is called milk soup in Eastern Europe. – Yeah. – It is common amongst the Poles, the Czechs, the Hungarians, the Lithuanians, the Ukrainians, the Russians, and other Central and Eastern Europeans. – Well, I feel like y’all can keep this. – I don’t hate it. – I do. It’s so bland. It’s like not doing anything, the pasta needs- – That’s what I love about it. – Yeah, exactly, of course you love it. – [Link] I love the blandness. – But I will say that, pasta in a bowl like that, I mean the shape of pasta, it works in this setting, it’s just the flavor is just, it looks fun. – It’s fun, man, milk soup. – Flavor’s not bringing it, and I actually think that it would be the thing that people would think is going to be nasty. – Nope, there’s no way. Points are escalating, so. – Yeah, yeah, if you’re right, you win the whole thing. – There’s no way, I mean, you’d have to think there’s more of a negative reaction to this. Right? – [Stevie] It all comes down to this, and this one is not toight, because 68% of the Mythical Beasts thought that the orange juice and cola was the bigger food crime. – Yes, and you’re wrong. – It tastes so good, I just couldn’t go there. – I was right, you were wrong. All right, bring in the nasty for Rhett. Is it happening? – What do I get to eat now? – Oh, what is this? – I don’t think this is nasty, this is one of my favorite treats that I actually did drink growing up. Some people call it a brown cow, but I grew up calling it pilk. It’s equal parts cola and milk. – Oh. So Spazi. – If you let it sit long enough, it turns into like a ricotta. – Well we won’t let that happen. – Drink quick. – Pilk, huh? – Pilk! – Pilk. – I don’t know which is better, Spezi or pilk. – Mix ’em all together, man. – Spezi sounds a lot better than pilk. – Make it your own. That’s pretty messed up, dude. Gross. All right, I’ll see ya. – I’ll see you, too. – I’m having a good time. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is. – I’m Joe. – And I’m Antoinette. – [Both] And we just got married. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Ooh! – Where is that? – Congratulations. Where they are. – Yeah, it’s beautiful there, guys. Click the top link to watch us decide the best foods to bring to strange parties in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Nicole] Ketchup is a smoothie. – [Josh] Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? – [Nicole] That makes no sense. – [Josh] Hot dog is a sandwich. – [Nicole] A hot dog is a sandwich. (both laugh) – [Josh] What?
