Welcome to Good Mythical More. So we’re talking hypothetical, but it’s gonna get a little spicy. We’re gonna have to make some choices. Would you help us? Yeah, I’ll help you. But first let’s give Brittany $30. Brittany! Over at mythical.com because she’s repping that Mythical merch out in the wild with some goats. On the roof. In Georgia. Tiger Georgia? There’s a town in Georgia called Tiger? I didn’t even know that I’m a. And I’m from there. Not, mm. You know, not Tiger, but Georgia. And use that hashtag Merchicality when you rep that merch out there in the wild. We might see you. We might find you. We might give you $30 so you can get some more. Oh, Jenny got the queen suite. What a delightful person, that Jenny Slate. She’s she’s delightful. She was very. As I told Link after she walked away, I was like, well, she was as advertised. You know what? That, that’s what they say sometimes. When, when you, when you know somebody. She was as advertised. Uh, you you have a vision of, or, or an impression of someone based on their work and how you’ve kind of seen them. Yeah. You never know who, what you’re gonna get in person like. Oh yeah. Well. Yeah. Jenny Slate is Jenny Slate. I was, I was rooting for her. I was like, oh man. I hope. Especially after she was like cat food, I was like, oh no. Yeah. I hope she gets that queen suite. She started trying hard. Um, okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna give you two wildly bad and very likely situations involving spicy food dishes. And you’re gonna tell me which one you’d rather face. Okay. Now in this first scenario is a word I didn’t know. Good. A mob boss. We learn words. Pushed you into a pool to try and drown you after you got caught smooching his goomba. His goomba? Is that grandma? Sounds like it would be a grandma. See? Okay. See. Is this like in mob, is this in mob movies? Type of thing. A mistress? Sopranos. And okay. That I don’t, that’s not my genre. Hey! You kissin my grandma? Okay. We’re getting two different pronunciations here. Lucas, what is you’re saying? Huh? Gosh guys. Come on. Goomba. How do you say it? What does it mean? It means mistress. Goomar is what Lucas says. And Carney says goomba. I said, I say my mistresses, I call goomba. Oh man. Can’t dig you out of that hole. Goomar. Okay. 8 seasons of Sopranos. Goomar. 8 seasons of Sopranos? Singular, that’s singular? Okay. So, goomars? So anyway, a mob boss catches you kissing his lady. Uh. Oh, yes. Smoochin’. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His mistress. His mistress. Right. Okay. So what are my choices? Would you rather, because he’s, he’s, he’s pushing you into the pool to try and drown you. Sorry. Let’s go back to that part. Yeah. Would you rather it be a pool of IcyHot balm or a pool of Frank’s Red Hot? I’m the pool? No you’re. So, hold on. In this scenario. You’re. Okay. I’m the pool? A mob boss. You said, would you rather be the, a pool of IcyHot? I mean, the whole thing about the mob boss was unnecessary ’cause you could said, would you rather be a pool full of. IcyHot. You’re being put. You’ve this goomar lady. Kiss me. You are. You’ve been smooching her and then the mob boss. Pushes me. As a punishment. He has one of these pools. Of? And he’s gonna push you in and he oh yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah. And you’re not the pool. It turns out he has two pools. You know, he at one pool. Which pool am? It has IcyHot. The other pool has Frank’s Hot. I think there is a correct answer here, okay? So I, I we’ve got experience. Both of us have experienced. I have taken it. With getting hot sauce all over us and I don’t remember what it did to your skin, but to my sensitive skin. Oh, it, it blazed it, man. It, it, it was bad. Left like what looked like a birthmark for a little bit too long. But. Made me scared over my whole body. It isn’t about skin sensitivity. This is about survival. And then you have to take into account the viscosity of the liquid that you’re getting into. If you get into a pool, presumably a pool that’s deeper than your head, of IcyHot. You’re going to sink in it like quick sand and not be able to swim. Hot sauce, you can probably do some kind of stroke, the hot sauce stroke to remain afloat. Yeah. Do you know what’s gonna happen as you’re sinking in that viscous IcyHot? You’re gonna suffocate too. ‘Cause that stuff is gonna like, you’re gonna be breathing that stuff in. Panicking. It’s. You’ll probably die before your head goes under. The correct answer is hot sauce. No But. But even if you get out of the pool. Yeah. The mob boss is, I mean, he’s still there, ya know? He’s gonna find another way to snuff you out or whatever the, whatever the term is. Introduce you to the fishes. I think it’s called make you go swimming with the fishes. Oh. Hey meet my fishes. I’m gonna introduce you to my fishes. My goomba usually feeds them. Okay. Hannibal Lecter has taken you prisoner and turned you into a nice meal. Would you rather become the meat in a spicy vindaloo served to your lover? So stupid. To my lova. Or a spicy sushi roll served to your kids? So I guess he’s invited. Oh! My kids? What is wrong with y’all? Do I want, do I want my wife to eat me or my kids to eat me? But your kids are gonna eat you raw. Hannibal has turned you into one of these two dishes and in. Oh, I get it. Each scenario you have different guests. I think I’m gonna have to go with the slow roasting in the vindaloo. Red’s right, ’cause you’re raw. My kids going to eat me raw? If you eat another human raw, bad things happen. Like cannibalism is not good for your health. But raw cannibalism is like really bad for your health. Look into that. But if you, if you put somebody in a crockpot for long enough and put enough spices on them. My wife probably wouldn’t even notice. To be honest with you. Pork vindaloo. Porky. This is good. Makes me think of Red. Yeah, it’s gotta, it’s gotta be. I mean, and then would, would you want her to know? No. Of course you wouldn’t want her to know. No, no, no, no. I wouldn’t want her to know. That’s that’s a totally separate question. Yeah. I’m just, I’m just making convo. Now. But are we the pool? This next question. We just had two questions that I like Are so Both of these are obvious. Off the wall and weird. This next question is Would you rather go on Hot Ones right before running a 5k or drink a cup of buffalo sauce before giving a speech at your son’s wedding? I could see either one of these actually probably happening. Well, you know, we, we went on. It wasn’t Hot Ones, but we went on a Hot Ones. We did do that one. Show. Well we did go on Hot Ones. But before that we went on, we ate the spiciest. Curry. Curry with Sean from Hot Ones for, for another series. And then the, the next day we went on the Tonight Show. And that night you had an explosive diarrhea at dinner. It was bad. That beauty in Essex. You went to the bathroom and then you kept never coming back. In, in Manhattan. And then when you finally came back you were walking slow with your legs. You were walking like a cowboy. It wasn’t so much that it was explosive diarrhea. It was just that. It was hot and explosive. It was like. It was very hot. Like somebody took a butane lighter to my butthole. Or a butane lighter was coming outta your butthole. It’s like somebody was trying to cauterize my butthole and seal it up. From the inside out. And he, he. Oh we gotta seal this one up. He wa he waddles back to the table and he leans over to me because nothing had happened to me yet. Yet. But I’d eaten the same stuff. And he said, “You’re gonna have a rough night.” I was like, oh God. ‘Cause you had eaten more than me. Yeah. Because it was based on getting a question right. And I kept getting it wrong. You kept getting them wrong. Eatin’ that hot stuff. It was uh. And it, yeah, it hit me later on, but I was so nervous. I kept trying to go to the bathroom to just get it over with. And it was like uh. Did you? But what happened? It was butane. It was bad when it happened. It was butt-ane. You know what I’m saying? Uhhh. Right out of the But I think that going on Hot Ones and then immediately running a 5k might be good. I think that could be, you could get the endorphins going and five K’s, you know, three and a half miles. That’s not, I mean, not that bad. That’s true. But just. You don’t wanna ruin your, you don’t wanna ruin the wedding though. But it’s just giving a speech. That’s even shorter. Like this. But you only drank buffalo sauce. Yeah. But we’re assuming the buffalo sauce is hot. Yeah. Extra hot. You’d be crying, which could help the speech. And hiccuping where you could like make it seem like you were really choked up. Like this is very meaningful to you. Oh. So what are you, a sociopath? You’re like, like, okay. I can, I know a way to seem like I care about my kids. Hot sauce! No, I’m not a sociopath, I don’t think. Okay. So you’re gonna be running that 5k then after the Hot Ones? I don’t. I hate running. I’m picking the speech. Okay. Your wife calls you. Hey! We should probably read these ahead of time. Your wife calls you very excited about the great deal she just got on a new water bed at the quirky new mattress shop in the neighborhood. I’m listening. The last thing you wanna do is hurt your wife’s feelings. Would you rather come home to a water bed filled with hot tamales or a water bed filled with spicy beef jerky? In this scenario you’re. The water bed. Okay. Your, your wife has Purchased. Has knowingly purchased. Uh, it’s not a water bed. It’s like a spicy, okay. Got it. ‘Cause it was a good deal. Yeah, yeah. yeah. Right, right, right. But it’s inside the rubber. So it doesn’t matter what’s inside of it, ’cause you’re sleeping on top of it. Yeah. Right. So it’s just like the thought of what’s inside your water bed. The temp. Carney says the temperature would be changed. The texture. Oh the texture. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The texture of the water bed. The texture. So one’s like a bean bag. ‘Cause you mean Hot Tomales, the candy? Or what? Oh, okay. Hot Tamales, the candy. Uh, spicy beef jerky. Yeah. That’s got pointy pieces. This is obvious. You want, you want the tamales. ‘Cause it’s like, oh that’s it’s kind of like. Yeah, tamales. You know how um those uh beaded seat covers for cars that are like wooden beads? Yeah. They’re like the taxi drivers have. The taxi drivers have. It would be like you were sleeping on one of those. Now when I was um A taxi driver. Young. Young enough to still have a step-dad. I remember. ‘Cause you grew out of that. I did grow out of it. Yeah. By the time I was like 13, I’d grown out of a step-dad. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so had my mom. That’s the key right there. But before they got divorced, they got a water bed, like a Newfangled water bed. That’s awesome. I don’t know why they got a water bed ’cause like. Cause a lot of people did. Yeah. But it wasn’t a real undulatory water bed. It was one of those that had like. It was a jail bed. It had. ‘Cause they were trying to save the marriage. Yeah, right. Let’s give it one last go. Maybe that was part of it! Hop on there and let’s see what happens. Yeah. There, there’s a, there’s a Merle Haggard song called If We’re Not Back in Love By Monday. And it’s kind of that principle Stevie. That’s what you gotta do. You gotta really. About a water bed? No. No. If you’re, if you’re feeling like you’re falling outta love, you need to have one good like weekend romp. A weekend away, you know? And then. Rekindle the flame. You see if it works. If it doesn’t work, you’re like, okay, well at least we had fun. Or we didn’t and now we have confirmation. Yeah. Right. Instead they got a water bed that was like the mattress, it like had cylinders of water. So the water. Was, this is a 90s water bed? They were full. It was a 90s water bed. An 80s water bed is just a big. just mattress full of water. Oh gosh. It’s like it’s it’s like the person in the wheel video they were. Did you ever get on this thing? Yeah. But it, you couldn’t tell it was a water bed. That was a weird part about it. But you knew it was a water bed. You knew it, but you couldn’t tell it. Would you rather. Tomales. Go to Mythicon? Yep. Or stay at home? That’s what I was gonna say. We should promote Mythicon. We’re excited about it. We’ve been talking about it. Excuse this, but we’ve just put a lot of effort into this thing. Yeah. This is the highest concentration of mythicality that uh we, and the mythical crew, Mythical Entertainment, as a company has ever put into a water, one water bed. But, drop the water bed. Just think of it as. Okay wait. Stevie? Yes? You actually went to the location? Yeah! And scoped it out in person along with Paisley and Gabriel Uh-huh. You guys were like on the ground because you know, we were excited to pick the place ’cause we wanted to create an immersive experience that didn’t feel at all like a convention. Yeah. But felt like um us sharing a, you know, some time together. Like making it, making it special, not like anything else. But we, well, you’re, you know, you’re looking on the internet and you’re trying to figure it out and you say, okay, this could work. We got, they got everything we need and they seem to have everything we want. But Stevie, from your perspective, like having, being, being there on the ground, you can, you know, did it, did it up the excitement? Yeah. We wanted to. Like you said, we wanted something immersive. Something to like take you out of your every day. And I think that, that we’re really gonna be able to, it’s gonna feel like you’re in a mythical town. Yeah. It’s like visiting a town that’s make-believe. It’s like. Yeah. But it’s ’cause it’s like a Wild West themed grounds with like all these different buildings. Right? Yeah. And there’s a different experience that we have produced for every building in this town. And I think the other really cool thing, like we’ve talked a lot about all the different shows and meet and greets and the museum. Yeah. And photo ops and food and all that stuff. But I think the experience of being there with all of these other mythical beasts who share the same interests that you do. I think that’s gonna be kind of the most magical. Yeah. Piece of it. Yeah. So I’m really excited It’s like, it’s like being. Well don’t, I mean, you can toot your own horn. It’s like. We will also be there. For a weekend, being a member of a town that is the, town’s only gonna last for a weekend, but it’ll be filled with all. Have you seen Wanda Vision? These other mythical beasts. Yes. It’s like the opposite of that. It’s like, yeah. It’s like, yeah. It’s like the positive version of Wanda Vision. But it’s, but the theme is like, what are we saying the theme is? It’s like, ’cause it’s like a Wild West town, but it’s a mythical menagerie. Menagerie. Oh on top of that. And it kind, they kinda work together. Yeah. Go to mythicon tickets.com. And then go to Mythicon. We’ll see you there. And then go to Mythicon. Would you rather eat spicy queso made from a stranger’s foot cheese or spicy guac made with plenty of your co-host’s saliva? See, I was gonna say even before you said the second one. The stranger part makes it better. Like if it’s, if it’s known. 100% Friend. Foot cheese. Then it’s, it’s yeah. That’s just too personal. Ya know, I, when we talked about. So yeah. Cheese made from someone’s body before I made the point that if you were attracted to the person, then eating their cheese would be fun. For me. I’m a little bit nasty but. I’m just saying if I’m attracted to somebody and it’s like. I’m a little bit nasty. Oh this cheese is made from their foot. I’d be like, okay, lemme try it. I’m just being honest with you. Just being honest with you. But I don’t want guacamole made from his spit. Not for, not any day. Not even Sunday. Not even on Sunday. Yeah but you don’t. I don’t even want that. It’s a strangers foot cheese. So you can’t, you. That’s better. I don’t have to know her. It’s just, well, okay. I dunno why I’m arguing this. He’s making it. He’s making it sexy. I I’m just trying to make it sexy. You know me? Just trying to make it sexy. Um. I’m gonna make it sexy. Okay. You are stuck in the desert and your eyes are as dry as dust. You. Does that happen to you on plane? That happens to me on like every single flight ever. Your eyes get dry? My eyes get super dry. You gotta keep ’em like this. I can’t use eyedrops. It’s you know how some people are like, I can’t swallow pills. And I’m like what? You can’t swallow pills? I can’t. You can’t use eyedrops? Ah, it’s so weird. Hey, if I couldn’t use eyedrops y’all would be worried about me all the time. I have to use eyedrops to come on camera ’cause my eyes are always so red. And everybody’s like, what is wrong with him? I, I. He’s baked. I don’t know. Red’s baked again. It’s really scary. I don’t know, my eyes won’t stay open. It’s like it won’t work. It just won’t work. Here’s the key. Corner of the eye. You go like you can literally just go corner of the eye and you don’t even have to have your eye completely open and it hits this little pool and goes like a channel into your eye. Try it. Ok.I’ll, I’ll try it. Try it. I’m a little bit of an expert. I like it. In this scenario. You’re in the desert. Your eyes are super dry. You can barely blink. You stumble upon two drinks that you can and will use to moisten your eyes. A spicy bloody Mary and a spicy margarita. And you have to choose one. You gotta go margarita in this situation because. Well what about the salt though? The salt rim. You get that in your eye too. There’s salt in a bloody Mary too. But the there’s not hot sauce in a, well there is. I mean, it is spicy, you said it was spicy. but something about the tomato Then what’s the difference? Juice and once I had a bloody Mary with a slider on top of it. I mean there’s a citric-ness in a, in a margarita though. And they use tomato juice. But that feels like it would clean it. If your dog gets sprayed by a skunk. We’re gonna have to try it. They use tomato juice if your dog gets sprayed by a skunk? Yeah. That’s how you wash the stink off? Yeah. That’s a, one of the at home. I think they have like specialty like groomer vet things now. Did Ringo get into a skunk again? Uh, Enzo had at some point in not. Did it work? Time. Yeah. Wow. So that’s why I’m like. Well that scares me though. Yeah. You know. If it can remove skunk skink, I don’t wear my eyes. Skunk skink? Lionel Richie. Yeah! Is remaking his iconic Hello music video. And he wants you to be the one sculpting his head in it. Would you rather create your idol’s head by molding a pile of wasabi or carving a giant block of pepper jack cheese? These seem like really nice things in comparison to everything else I’ve asked you. Now we just get to have fun. I mean, I like that. I like using some wasabi. Its. One is additive and one is one, you start with a block and you carve it. The other one is what’s the, what’s it called? What’s the difference? They’re called different things. Mm. Yeah. I don’t know. One’s called. Carving and molding. Carving and molding. I’m more of a molder. I always liked the idea of just starting with a block of Marble and revealing a. It’s marvelous Statue. Because I mean. Because it was in there the whole time already. Well, and then if you do something wrong. You just didn’t need it. If you do something wrong. You really, it’s hard to fix, man. It’s a lot harder to fix than just if you’re already adding stuff. That’s why Michelangelo’s David’s penis is so small. That’s oh. It was originally bigger. Kept trying to get the curvature right. I go with the cheese. If, if, if you’re wondering. I gotta go with the wasabi. Just because the stakes seem lower. Tickets are on sale now. Mythicontickets.com.