Welcome to Good Mythical More. I consider myself frugal, discerning with my dough but some people might call me a cheapskate at times. No, nobody would do that. I do think that there are- Tightwad is what we would say. Places where you should spend your money and places where you should cheap out. Even when it comes to romantic situations. Oh. Et cetera. Is your wife watching today’s More? No. Stevie is going to present two options and we have to decide which one is worth spending on and which one is worth cheaping out on. All right? Okay. But first let’s check our voicemail. Is your hair a style choice or are you just getting old? We would really like to know. I’ll let you handle this one on your own. He’s my hair a style choice or am I just getting old? I’m gonna say C, all of the above. Okay. All right. A good answer, good answer. You know who I saw on TikTok? I’m just being myself. Look at this The other day. This is my hair, I love it. Speaking of style choice or getting old. Steve Martin? No. Anderson Cooper? JC Chasez Is that how you say his last name, Chasez? Yeah, JC Chasez. The lead, arguably the lead of NSYNC. He is now on TikTok, and man, full gray. Full gray beard, full gray hair. But also stuck in time but just his hair was gray. He didn’t look older, just gray-er. Yeah, I think it’s longer, he’s he’s got the beard. The picture I’m seeing is a dirty gray. It’s like if my entire hair was just like this part. Yeah. Or under certain unflattering lighting. Shout out to you, JC. Good for him. He looks no different except for the color of his hair. He looked good. Okay. Give me the options. Two scenarios, which one would you cheap out on? Would you rather skip on a pee pee piercing, No, I would not skimp on that. Or LASIK eye surgery? Oh God. Oh, come on. Oh. Can I just opt out of both? Does the pee pee piercing have to come out every time you pee pee? No. I feel like you couldn’t function that way. Think about that for a second. Isn’t it like a bathtub stopper? That’s not how it works? No one would ever, well okay someone, but most people who are already in the category of people who would get pee pee piercings would not get them if that was the case. You gotta, yeah, it’s like removing the plug. You’d be unscrewing that thing every single time? Well, okay, think about the scenarios. Are we saying that you are either gonna go to a back alley piercer or a back alley doctor? Right. I think that is kind of what we’re saying ’cause the other option would be a Groupon or something. Which is not part of the game. Wow, you’re thinking about the worst case scenario in both. I don’t think we should talk about the back alley version. I think this is the Groupon version. It has to be. So in that instance.. Well, what’s the implication of the… Yeah, but you could say if it was at a discount that the the doctor and the piercer are equally talented and you just are getting a Groupon which doesn’t- No, no I’m saying it’s the kind of place that like- There’s a spare no expense and there’s the take the cheap way out. You don’t wanna lose your eyesight. It’s a place that gives discounts. There’s certain places that they don’t give discounts, right? You can’t get a coupon to Gucci, right? I don’t know, I’ve never been in there but I’m assuming that that’s not how it works. No clue. I don’t know. Because it kind of goes against the philosophy of it. A Gouchon I think is what… Oh man. So if they go sideways, and I literally mean if the laser goes sideways or they do it sideways in your pee pee- Apparently if you have a pee pee piercing it does go sideways. Okay. And you have to sit down. Well then what if it goes up and down? Then I think…I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh, you have to sit down ’cause it spreads the pee out. Yeah. Oh you do? But you know what, this is about the procedure. This is not about the aftercare. What I’m saying is you could eventually take out the pee pee piercing but you have to go through the pee pee piercing. So think about a pee pee piercing going bad or LASIK going bad. But it’s LASIK, it’s just like outpatient. I mean, once they explained to me what it was I was like, “I am not doing that.” But if it goes bad. If LASIK goes bad what ends up happening is you have this horrible sensation in your eyes constantly that you can’t get rid of. That’s bad. All right, yeah. I’d rather for my wiener to be, I don’t know. I think at this stage in life you’re wiener can look a little bit weird. It’s not that big of a deal assuming that you got full sensation. They’re both so important to me. The chances of a cheap LASIK messing up both eyes though. Last time I checked, I only have one wiener. But you got two balls. And two eyes is what I’m saying. I’d rather have one ball than two wieners at this point. That’s not a question I want to answer. That what you’re asking, Stevie? How many wieners do you want? No, I have two eyes. I gave you the choice between one wiener and two balls, which I assume you currently have, and two wieners and one ball and I could press a button and a magic wiener Genie would show up and he would give you a second wiener of equal or greater value to the current wiener. Up to 30% more. Wiener Genie is actually where they offer the Groupon for the… Wienergenie.com It probably already exists, Stevie. I’m cheaping out on the LASIK. I have two eyes, I only have one wiener, it’s that simple. I’m cheaping out on the pee pee surgery. Okay, splitzies. Okay, would you skimp on on your wife’s birthday gift or- All the time. No, no. Anniversary gift. Oh crap. Christy’s birthday is May 13th and our anniversary is May 27th. Every year I choose. If I mess up a birthday, I really gotta come through with anniversary. And if I come through for a birthday, the pressure’s off for the anniversary. The pressure’s off? That’s how I felt about it ’cause they’re so close together. Anniversary is more of like something that it’s more trip oriented for us. And birthday is more gift oriented. So they’re kind of different things. So, would you skimp on the trip or would you skip on the gift? Because like which one? I’m going on the trip too, keep that in mind. And we both like trips more than gifts. But what if the gift is a trip? That’s a trip. That’s crazy, man. I think I would skimp on that birthday gift because… Does one have more weight? Would Christy be more if pissed if- I know what it is Yeah? Well, first of all, she’s just a lovely person. Let’s just establish that first. She responds in every situation with nothing but grace. And then she never complains. I’ve never heard her complain once. The birthday is she can get gifts from other people but she really only gets the anniversary gift from me. So there you have it. Well, I have kind of the opposite problem because my wife’s birthday is a week before Christmas. And people who have their birthday right before Christmas are very, and my mom also does, they’re very sensitive. You can’t do things like give them birth birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. Yeah, like a two for one deal? ‘Cause this is like, “Don’t move me into Christmas territory.” Yeah, that’s tough. Because the anniversary, this is another way of kind of saying what you were getting at. the anniversary is a collective celebration. It is about us. It is not about her, right? It isn’t just about what the man’s gonna do for the woman. That’s right it goes both ways. In the relationship. And so we get each other anniversary gifts and usually it is a trip and we say the trip is a gift to us. So I think that if we fall short on anniversary, it’s like we are falling short. But if I fall short on the birthday, it’s all on me. So I am prioritizing the birthday over the anniversary. So I’m, cheaping out on… I’m getting a Groupon trip for my anniversary. We’re going to the Groupon headquarters to see how they make all those coupons. So do you get… That’s a good point that I feel like trips or really nice dinners kind of take the place of a classic gift in both of these situations. But do you tend get… Give me an example of a gift. Are you talking a jewelry situation? Yeah, sometimes it’s jewel jewellery. Yeah, I’ve hit some home runs with jewellery. Christy likes a nice ring. Jessie will do like she’ll do like weird big things that like, “Oh this is this ring in this stone on it was like some person in New York bought a mine and is mining this very particular type of quartz.” There’s some sort of… It isn’t necessarily like super expensive, it just has a story behind it and it’s sort of big and raw or something like that. She likes that kind of thing. Big and raw. At least like in the last few years. I call it big and raw birthday time. That’s what I call my anniversary time. Yeah, but tho those are mostly the gifts that I’ve gotten her in the past few years. I don’t remember the gifts I’ve gotten Christy. I’ve gotten her other things too. She doesn’t either. Sure. Sure. Okay, so you’re split on both these things. A babysitter or a pet sitter? Oh, ah. I think you gotta skip on the pet sitter. As a father of both people and dogs. Right. While the dogs are sometimes easier, more responsive, seem to be more into me than the people are. I’ve every reason from personal perspective to prioritize the pets over the people. But I think that it wouldn’t be morally right. I have to prioritize humanity over the animal kingdom. Well, what’s the practical application we’re talking here? ‘Cause this can’t be Groupon. So is it like a teen neighbor? Yeah, we’re talking teen neighbor. I don’t even know what the prices for that anymore are. We haven’t had a babysitter in so long. What is that, $15 an hour? We have like a teen neighbor. But then we put the dog in a cage free place. That’s actually called a resort. Pet resort. Yeah, so in practice… I think in practice we are skimping on children. ‘Cause we’re not sending the kids away for a whole week at a time while we go on vacation. Wouldn’t it be nice? Yeah. To do that maybe sometimes. And the place that we send the dogs, you send Barbara there too, it has webcams. Yeah, you can spy on them. You can spy on the dogs and see how they’re being treated. You’ve gotta pay for that. But when there’s a babysitter at my house we have webcams in our house too to make sure that like the kids are there and they’re not being neglected. But if they go to the babysitter- Do you tell the babysitter this? Yeah. They’re out in the open, they’re not in Teddy bears. They’re out in the open. You got a surveillance state at your house. I do, yeah. I kind of make it- I tried to do that for a few months and then- It got weird? My wife was just like, “We can’t.” We have too many people stay with us and we have a lots of people come to our house and like stay there while we’re gone on a regular basis. And she was like, “We can’t have cameras on those people.” But then when something funny happens, you can’t- That’s the best use you have for it. That’s that’s my real only use for it. One of your family members busts their butt on something in the kitchen, well you got it on tape. Yeah. Send it right to AFV. That’s what Link does. Yeah. That’s Link’s long term business plan is winning that $10,000 prize on AFV. That’s right, that’s what I’m thinking of. How’s that looking? Speaking of winning a prize, wanna remind you there’s only a few days left to enter our Golden Tee of Mythicality giveaway. You could randomly win one of three unique prizes. Oh yeah. By grabbing the official T-shirt at mythical.com. So the T-shirt of mythicality. You’ll get it in silver but if when you open that box, it turns out that logo is an iridescent aqua, Oh wow. Or an iridescent rose or the granddaddy of them all the golden tee. There’s only one of each of those three colors. If you get one of those, woo you’ve struck it. Now, if you strike gold, that’s the grand prize. You and a friend are gonna be flown out right here to LA. You’re gonna win an all expenses paid trip to our studio. We’re gonna hang out with us. Hang with us. You’re gonna enjoy a mythical kitchen dinner prepared by mythical chef Josh and the kitcheneres. What? 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A bad TP experience, in fact. Try not to buy paper towels if you can help it. When Jessie and I were basically trapped in a hotel room with COVID months ago, this was an okay hotel but they had made… You know when a hotel makes a really skimpy decision on the TP and they do the single ply and it’s a little bit sandpapery and it was also like a dingleberry factory down there Ooh, Rhett. Ooh, Rhett, don’t say such things. I hate that. Whenever hate dudes talk about down there I’m just always so confused about the wiping situation. Why does it get that bad? It sounds nightmarish beyond the wiener of it all. All which you know, I don’t like. I’m talking about the back there area. How do you? I just don’t understand. Listen, I don’t know the evolutionary reason for it, Stevie. But males have copious amounts of hair. So you don’t know what you’re getting into down there. It’s like hiding. I’m sorry, Stevie. I just want you to know that when I wipe my butt I don’t have to wipe the back of my balls. Unless it’s been a very memorable session. I’ve never had to do that. I’m talking about like maybe once in a lifetime. I’m talking there’s no water in the toilet and you got diarrhea. You never know what’s gonna happen is what I’m saying. I’m not gonna say it can’t happen. You’re in an abandoned house with no plumbing and you’ve got diarrhea. At that point you never know what’s gonna get splashed around, man. It’s just one of those… If you don’t have it and you’re thinking about it, I didn’t know if you’ve ever thought about it that way. But I just wanted to put your mind at ease. It just seems like there’s a situation happening that’s not great. Well, if the toilet paper is fine it’s not an issue. And also this is why I personally choose the bidet when I’m given the opportunity to. Well, exactly. You talk about how great the bidet is. That it’s life changing. Yeah. So it’s just like, “Ooh, it must be really bad without a bidet.” It’s definitely worse. But with the right toilet paper, it’s not all bad. It’s not. Let’s talk about this over lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While you’re eating Coco Puffs. I’m just saying let’s have a dingleberry conversation while you’re eating Cocoa Puffs. Yes you did. That’s what I was saying. ‘Cause Coco Puffs look a little like dingleberries. I am grossed out. That’d be a big dingleberry. Head over to mythical.com to order your Golden Tee of Mythicality for a chance to win one of these incredible experiences before it’s too late.