Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’. You might like cheese on a slice of apple pie, but what if you slid some other sweet treat under that cheese? We’re gonna try and outdo it. But first we’re gonna donate $1,000 to ‘Special Olympics’ to aid in their mission to provide, “Year-round supports training and athletic competition for children, and adults with intellectual disabilities, giving them opportunities to develop physical fitness, demonstrate courage, and experience joy with their families, other ‘Special Olympics’ athletes and the community.” You can join us in giving to this incredible cause at ‘specialolympics.org/donate’. Yes! Yeah, so let’s start out with just some cheese on a good old- I never do this, but it’s always good. Good old slice of apple pie. Could you order this from McDonalds? I bet you could try. I bet you could try. You’re right Rhett, I could try. And is it… Is it proper with cheddar? I think this is ‘American’. Or is this ‘American’? Is this ‘American cheese’? Yes. Yes. American cheese gets a bad rap, but it’s actually perfect for mini applications. Well, this is one of ’em. That’s great. Another one is a nice smash burger. It’s good on a burger. I did some smash burgers this past weekend, and I tried the… Well, you know, you’ve seen it a million times now, the tortilla smash burger. Uh-huh. Where then you… It’s a thin layer of beef, and I mean, I did it on the grill, I was telling ya, I got that like, a skillet that’s half of my ‘Green Egg’, and you know I got the thing, so I’m like really smashing it proper, and making it big, and flat, and then when you put it on the… I didn’t really… What you’re supposed to do is then put the tortilla on the uncooked side, and then flip it over, so that it cooks through the tortilla, and Christy was like, “I wanna make sure you don’t under-cook it.” And I was like, “Okay whatever, I’ll respect that.” So, we just kinda slapped it on the tortilla after I warmed it up a little bit, so it was a little bit different, but still you’ve got that effect of creating a smash burger, double-cheese burger by taco’ing the tortilla, and you don’t have all that bread, I preferred it. You preferred it to a bread? I preferred it to bread. Well, let’s not gloss over the fact that you’re now cooking, which is- I’m back here going, “Okay, I can’t for the life of me, recall the line… Like he can…” You can cook eggs a little bit, newly but… And then, you don’t cook other things- I was taught how to scramble eggs, and I did it twice, and I haven’t done it since. Yeah, so what is… Taught ‘how-to’. When you say, “I did smash burgers.” Are you speaking like collectively for you and Christy? Like, what is… I can grill, I can grill. But do you marinate, and do all of that? Or you’re just saying like, you make fire happen, then you put stuff on it? Oh, this man’s got a ‘Green Egg’. Yeah. There’s nothing to marinate. Bobby Flay once told him, he asked Bobby Flay, “What kind of grill should I get?” And Bobby Flay said, “A ‘Big Green Egg’.” But, with a smash burger. ‘Big Green Egg’! I’ve got a shaker with the seasoning stuff, and you don’t, you don’t have to mix anything in, matter of fact, you shouldn’t mix the burger, the burger at all, you just grab it, and you make it into a ball, and then you smash it, and then you shake the shaker on it, and then you flip it, you shake the shaker on it again, and then you put the piece of cheese- Okay, so you’re doing all the steps that you’ve just described- No, I got Christy to place the cheese, Christy was right there, watching closely. Can we just go back to, you just said, “I was taught how to scramble eggs.” How to scramble eggs… Well, we already know that. The smash burgers are great. I can grill, I can grill chicken wings, and I can make a good smash burger. And when you grill the chicken wings, like walk me through what you mean by that. But before, before you hear about that, he can also warm up a ham. Well, no he can’t apparently. No, I don’t do that anymore now. I buy ‘Honey Baked Ham’. Right, he could… At one point he could burn a huh-ham. ‘Huh-ham’. I’m totally okay with stuff being taken off my plate, in terms of what I can cook, but yeah, I’ll make a smash burger for you… What is this? Well, I feel like you’re still… You’re glossing over the rest of your skillset, which is confusing, ’cause you said you can, you can also grill chicken. I can grill chicken wings. I’ve had his grilled chicken wings. And so, how do you prep the chicken wings? Salt and pepper, you don’t need to get fancy. So you… Yeah, I lay ’em out on a plate, and I salt ’em, I pepper ’em, I flip ’em, I salt ’em, I pepper ’em, I take ’em outside, I grill ’em. No other seasoning? Don’t need it. Well… I mean… You don’t need it. The grill does the rest, the grill is the seasoning. Okay. Would you like to taste, and guess this? Or do you have… Do you have this information? I don’t know if you do. So, this is a Swiss Cake Roll with Mozzarella? It’s a ‘Ho Ho’. It’s a ‘Ho Ho’ with Swiss cheese. Get it? ‘Swiss Cake Roll’. That is not Swiss. No, it’s not Swiss. Why isn’t it Swiss? Because it’s Camembert cheese. Well, it’s a Swiss Cake Roll, why wouldn’t we put Swiss cheese on it? It’s a ‘Ho Ho’. This is bad. It’s a ‘Ho Ho’ with Camembert. Camembert… Well, why’d you put Camembert on it? Is a strange cheese that… That’s bad. It’s only good by itself, and even then it’s not that great. I mean the chicken, chicken wings, with just salt & pepper, it really is fine, if I thought it needed more… And then, we have sauce, but I don’t sauce the chicken when… I’ll sauce the chicken wings sometimes. But, but, but… Like, okay so… But there are several, several restaurants that are kind of famous for wings, and like the thing that they’re known for is all the different things you put on chicken wings, and none of them have- But they’re not smoked, grilled, like grilled chicken wings, they’re fried chicken wings. That’s a little like ‘Adobo’? You know, just a little something. Yeah, you could do that- Even a little you know? Like a chicken, like a chicken rub, I have done that, but it… This is a ‘Rice Krispie Treat’ with ‘Colby-Jack’? Mm-hmm. This could… This could work. I’ve got my 36in wok that I have not used yet, and it’s been a few years now, it’s in the attic. 36? Your wok is a yard long? I have a wok that I had to keep in the attic, I could barely get in the pull-down door into the attic. You put it on- I have a big burner outside, a big burner, like for a crab boil or whatever, when we got the back yard redone, I got a big burner, I used that for my like paella, and my natural hot chicken, and I fry chicken out there, and I do burgers out there too, you know? And I had this dream of just coming up with a recipe that can feed like 20 people out of a wok, and I just can’t land on a recipe. This is- And I put salt & pepper on it though. This is… This is not bad, but I wouldn’t do it again. This is pretty good. It’s… It’s not that bad, but why is the apple pie so good? I don’t know. I feel like you could take the, if you replace the marshmallow part with cheese… Just go ahead and bake it right in. Yeah. You could do that. That’d be harder. What’s a good wok recipe? Just a big wok recipe? Like a stir-fry. Now, I’m not sitting around bragging that my chicken wings are the best chicken wings on the planet or anything… I mean- I have had ’em, they’re not bad, they’re not bad, they’re not bad. Yeah, ’cause I mean again, if it’s salt & pepper, and the grill infuses the taste. Maybe a little garlic powder next time, maybe a little garlic powder, onion powder, you know, just a little eh… You know, just yeah. All right. So, that’s not tip-tops. No, but now we’ve got a donut. Now, let’s talk about the way that whoa, Youth Pastor Tim used to say ‘donut’. Donut. And you made this observation, and I was never able to hear it. What kinda cheese is this? This is ‘White American’? ‘White American’. After our own hearts. You’ve never heard him say ‘doll-nut’? Even when I told you he was saying, “He’s saying ‘doll-nut’. You said it after, after he’d left our lives. Oh. Okay now. That works. That tastes like a ‘cheese danish’. This is already a thing. It’s one of my favorite things to get at a continental breakfast. If you’ve got a cheese danish- I’m gonna argue that this is better than a cheese danish, because it’s a better… This donut is better than a danish, ’cause a danish is kinda like bready. You gotta have the right danish. Get yourself a ‘Krispy Kreme’ donut. Good God, that’s good. And you can heat that thing up for… How much did they say to heat it up for? Is it nine seconds? 11 seconds? It’s not a lot. And it takes it back to hot & fresh, and if you remember correctly, one of the things that I am really good at making, if you want me to brag, is my cheese bread, which is a piece of white bread with American cheese on it, and it microwaved for you know- You’re great at making that. 10 to 20 seconds. That’s a great recipe. And so, replace the bread with a donut, and then this is it y’all, this is the tops. I’m gonna leave this here. Yeah, this is better than a cheese danish, a lot better. Oh, come on- A lot better! With a pool of cheese in the middle? Ooh, I love it. This has got cheese all over the top, and there’s a donut underneath, and not that dumb danish stuff that, it actually tastes a little… It doesn’t taste as good as a donut. Cheese danish’s walked, so this could run on ‘Dunkin’. Well, I agree with that. In America. It’s a lot better. American cheese is the right cheese to put on things, by the way. Cheesecake with- Is that ricotta? What is that? I think it’s key lime pie. With goat cheese? And goat cheese. Okay, hold on, I’m gonna give this a second, I’m gonna give it a chance, ’cause I like both of these things, and they’re both strong flavors. Whoo, it’s like I can taste the goats teat, that’s the thing I don’t like about goat cheese, is that it’s like, I can taste the hay, I can taste everything the goat ate. It is pretty barnyard’y. This is a thing. I mean, the key lime helps, but you’re on your own with this one, yeah. These are complimentary flavors, and the key lime is so tart, pungent, wow. That could be, that could be at a fine restaurant, ‘Goat Cheese Key Lime Pie’. Totally see that at like a really nice, Charleston South Carolina up and coming, going for their Michelin Star, “You gotta try the ‘Goat Cheese Key Lime Pie’.” You know what I’m talking about. You love it? I like it. You love it better than the- It’s not better than the donut with the cheese on it, but it’s real good. Let’s give this donut with cheese on it a name, and don’t bring ‘danish’ into it, ’cause we don’t even want people to think about that. I mean, at Krispy Kreme they should, they should have this as an option, but they gotta give it a name. So, it’s a glazed donut with American… Like ‘Americ-ring’- ‘Boston’s Got The Kreme’. ‘American Glaze’, ‘American Graffiti’. ‘It’s a Slice’, like it’s a melted slice, um… ‘Ameri-Glaze’. Um, what’s it called? You said it’s called a ‘Glazed Underneath’? It’s a glazed donut, it’s just a glazed donut with a white… It’s a ‘White American cheese’, okay… It doesn’t have to be white. Well, I think it does now. It does compliment it, the color. ‘Cause it doesn’t throw you off at all, ’cause it just looks like, “Well maybe that’s something that’s on…” ‘Glazed White…’ ‘White…’ ‘Draped ‘n Glazed’. White… ‘White Draperies’. ‘Glazed White’. ‘Pull The Drapes’. If you were to… How do you combine ‘white’ and ‘glaze’? ‘Waze’. “It’s sponsored by ‘Waze’.” Let’s go a different direction. Okay. Sugar and, nope. Cheese… You don’t like ‘drape’? You don’t like ‘melt’? You don’t like ‘slice’? You don’t like ‘squared/circle’? That’s a wrestling ring. I don’t like that. We need a name. We’ll come back to it. What else do we have here? So like, when Christy’s standing behind you- I say, “Cheese me!” Because I have a hand- Oh. Oh okay. Sorry, it took us all a moment. I have a hand that’s flipping the burger, and then I have a hand that’s shaking on the burger, and it’s so hot that it has to be quick, ’cause you don’t wanna overcook the burger, so I smash the burger, I let go of the smasher, and I grab the flipper, and then I shake it, and I flip it, and then I don’t have a hand, or the time to put down the flipper to grab the cheese, I could shake it, cheese it… I could do it without her. But what’s her like, vibe? Is it, is it… Probably ‘concern’. ‘Concern’? Yeah. Well, ’cause… And also, does she stand behind you when you’re doing the chicken wings? I’m just trying to figure out the man who can’t really scramble an egg, to the man who’s doing- I can scramble an egg. Well, you said you didn’t wanna do it again though, you don’t wanna- I don’t want to. Once you’ve done it twice, you’ve done it. It not that I can’t cook, it’s that I don’t wanna cook, but I’ve got to be able to grill. But aren’t you ever hungry? Like the only reason I started cooking- ‘Cause I’m a… I just feel like that’s my birthright, my birthright is grilling. I was hungry… But let me just say a couple of things, I don’t wanna… You know, we’re giving you a hard time here, but I ultimately is out of love, wanted to help you. I don’t like to cook. But I feel like by making your wife have to be involved in the grilling, and I’m not trying to do some like traditional gender roles, “Man outside at the grill, woman in the kitchen.” Not trying to say that, but your wife does a lot of cooking, and I just feel like when you step out, and cook, I just think you should either learn how to do it alone, or get one of the kids to help, because I mean this whole like, ‘Christy’s standing by with the cheese’- All the kids were there too. Let her just relax. Wait, but here’s the thing- Hold on, there’s a backup to Christy, in case she cheeses out? No, here’s what happens is that I do a burger, and then I take it fresh off, and then they put the stuff on it, and you hand it to somebody, and they eat it, you don’t put all the burgers aside. Whoa-whoa, you’re getting… You’re giving people burgers right off the grill? Yes. You’re trying to be like a food truck? What are you trying to be? Yeah, yeah. What about, “The family that eats together, stays together”? Every other night of the week. Well really, maybe once. So yeah, I was trying to get some speed where it was like… Did you say, “Maybe once”? Once a week. Once a week you eat together? Yeah. Okay. We’re busy people. This is a peanut butter cookie. With what on it? Gouda. Gouda? Gouda. In the Netherlands they say, ‘Houda’. They don’t even say the ‘G’. They say ‘Houda’. Gouda’s smokey, right? It’s supposed to be? No, if it’s smoked Gouda. Oh. Uh, I like Gouda. This is fine. It’s almost not enough, peanut butter’s strong, I think we need a stronger cheese, that’s got a little bit more tartness to it, to balance out the butter. Yeah, it’s nothing, it’s not adding anything. ‘Cause this could be like an approximation of like a Thai peanut butter sauce, which has got like the rice vinegar in it, we need something a little, with a little acidity. If we can come up with a name for this right now- ‘Glazy White American’. It’ll catch on, but it has to be catchy. ‘Glazy American’. “You ‘Glazy American’.” ‘Glazy American’? You like that? “Hey yeah, we all love it.” Stevie, you like that? But it has nothing to do with the donut. It’s the American cheese, and the ‘Glazy’ donut. I got both concepts, and it was a riff on ‘Lazy Americans’, but then ‘Glazy American’. “What’s ‘The Glazy American’?” “Uh, you gotta get one to find out.” I’ll buy that, I think that’s it. First one’s free. Sell it, we’ll buy it. Krispy Kreme- ‘Glazy American’. I don’t think they’d wanna get political. Oh, I don’t think it’s political, it’s patriotic, place an American flag in each one of ’em. Crack open a cold one with the new ‘Mythical Bottle Opener’, available now at ‘mythical.com’.