Welcome to Good Mythical More. We got a website called sporked.com. The team over there tastes everything that you can buy at a grocery store in order to tell you what are the best things to taste so you’re not missing out on stuff. But in the consequence of their exercises, Some stuff is bad. They taste some stuff that’s bad, and then they bring it here for us to taste. Because we haven’t been punished enough today. Nope. But first, let’s hear a Random Disturbing Fact. Moray eels have a second set of jaws and teeth inside their throat. Hey, listen man, we watch Discovery Channel. We know that. Yeah, it’s like Alien. I think it’s actually where they got the design of Alien. The second set known as Pharyngeal Jaws lunge forward advancing almost the full length of its skull to snatch and deliver the prey to the eel’s esophagus for swallowing. Yeah. So it just snatches it down the throat. Yeah, my aunt had a second set of jaws. Whenever she would come out, she’d be like. No, no, no. We would hold a Little Smoky up in front of her and she would come out and grab it. She liked Little Smokies? Only, she said, The only thing I eat with my second set of jaws is Little Smokies”. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show, Spooky Palumbo. Whoo. Ow! I’m so sorry! Danny! Thank you for that. You hurt my finger. That’s just all part of the spookiness. Put a spell on it. Hey, cool cloak! Where’d you get that cloak? You guys gave it to me. It’s mine now. Oh, okay. You’re welcome. What’s this appraised at? cloakbrand.com. Cloak brand.com. Okay. – Yeah, there’s a price. How do I look? Oh, I look pretty stupid. No, you look good! Do I look good? This is my first time wearing a cloak. You look great. We’re selling it. You gotta say you, you can’t say you look stupid. I think I’m a cloak guy now. I’m sorry. – Yeah, yeah. You’re definitely a cloak guy. It really, it really fits you. It really fits. It’s also a one size fits all. You can move the hood if you want to. I mean, I don’t want to force you. Actually I think I wanna leave the hood on. What is the point of wearing a cloak if the hood’s not gonna be on you. Completely agreed. Okay, cool. So we’re on board. I’m very on board. Whatever you want, man. Well you guys are selling this thing. Alright. Yeah, you don’t look stupid. Let’s try, let’s try some bad things, okay? So at Sporked, Yeah, dude, – during our rankings process, we try a lot of great food. We also try a lot of bad things. So I have curated a list here of five products. Four of them are quite bad. However, there is one decoy, one thing that we actually liked and that it ranked in our tasting. So I would, – It’s obviously this, is the one that’s good? The meat slab of, Don’t touch, man. Mystery. – That’s yours now. Oh wow, it’s dripping. And you’re dripping on the other one. Hold on, I like this kind of thing. Don’t ruin it for me. The drip is not coming from my hand. It’s coming from the meat. I’m not, it’s not like I’m drooling. Well you want it to be moist. Can we start with the energy drink? Yeah, let’s go for it. That’s mine, that’s mine. Little pick me up. This first of all, is a great idea – Are you serious? and it literally is from Bob Ross Incorporated. Like they’re selling this drink. Bob Ross Positive Energy drink. Wow. I mean, I’m excited about that. I like the name of it. Positive Energy? You know how most energy drinks are called like Venom and C4? I think this is like a nice break from that. Look at that, it’s just like a blue pond. Just a little pond. Just a little pond right there in your cup. I mean, it still has everything that a normal, yeah, it’s got a hundred milligrams of caffeine, yeah. Now, did Bob have anything to do with this or not because he’s dead? I don’t think so. Okay. That’s, that was my initial question was can you just put a dead person, his name and likeness on a product? No, no, no. No, his estate is putting him on all types of things. Yeah, yeah. – Okay. I think it’s his kids. There’s – Okay. Yep. There’s like a, You can have this one. There’s a number of party games. We’re gonna keep that one in tact. You’ve already tasted it, you just wanna watch? I’ll do it again, come on. Oh. Yeah, let me get a, yeah. Thanks, thanks. Oh, I didn’t realize you had your own glass. I would’ve shared. So I can’t just like sell like David Bowie sunflower seeds, right? No, no. Okay. You can try, see how far you get. That’s not horrible. I mean. – That’s good. All, energy drink takes like energy drink and I’m not a fan of any of it really? That’s true. It tastes a lot better than it smells. It smells like a preservative. So we’re gonna have to rank these from best, worst, or wait worst, worst to worst, best. Right. So on the scale of like, It doesn’t have like a medicine-y flavor thing. This is great. And I love the marketing. The can is, they didn’t veer from their normal like look, their normal vibe, which I love. It’s like, it’s kind of ironically bad. Now, I’m not saying Bob Ross’ paintings are ironically bad, but you know what I mean. They got the branding right. This is great. How many added grams of sugar do you think are in there? Gimme a little guess. 38 grams. I’m gonna say 24. Oh, you just looked it, man. No, I didn’t. 39. Oh, wow. – Oh. Yeah, if I looked at it, I probably would’ve said 39. 78% of your sugar for the day in one can. Watch out, Danny, That’s a lot. Okay, so how do you feel? Good. – Great. You like, you just like it. I feel, I feel I got the positive vibes. Wait so, so Link I just wanna, I just wanna make sure the premise of this you, you’re, This is not bad. That was the – But the premise of red herring. – what you’re doing currently. Okay, you believe that – One of them is bad. You believe that to be the red herring. But I have to believe that you guys thought that this was bad. All of them are bad except for one. Yeah, I know one of them is good. I’m saying – That one. I don’t think it’s this one. I don’t think it’s this one. ‘Cause I don’t think, just because I don’t think they would give it to the give it to us first. I think it just tastes like energy drink and I don’t like energy drink, so I don’t think it’s good. But I also don’t think it’s an especially bad energy drink. Right. I just think it’s an energy drink. Yeah, so that’s like, But you like energy drinks? No, I agree with everything you’re saying, which is why I think this is the tricky. Okay. – Your trickiness. Okay, I don’t think it’s a tricky. Let’s move on to the Oscar Meyer Cotto Salami. Now I’ve had Oscar Meyer Bologna, like probably like an elephant’s worth of it in my life. Yeah. I don’t eat it anymore. And I’ve had the salami and this feels like it’s a mix of the two. Wow, you rolled it up. And I liked both of ’em. I can smell it as you guys peel off a little layer. Do you want some? I don’t, well, did I just tip my hand? You just tipped your hand. Okay. It’s not bad. It’s not good. I’ve never had bologna. The funny thing is, is like now that I’ve gotten older and you know. It’s not as bad as bologna. I eat, yeah every once in a while, I found myself at one of these places where they bring out like a charcuterie. Sure. And I’ve had like good salami. Like growing up I just had, Oscar Meyer Salami was the only salami that I ever had. And then you get good salami. It’s been a while since I’ve been back to this and it is so not as good as real good salami. No, but if you compare it to bologna, isn’t it better than bologna? I think it’s too wet. I think it’s, I think. It’s drippin’ I think there’s more fat in this than there is. But there may not actually be more fat, but there’s like pieces of fat, which is one of the things that makes salami, salami. And I kind of don’t wanna see that now. I don’t know, I just don’t, I don’t, I definitely don’t think this is the sleeper one. I don’t think it is either. I mean it, yeah, I hate this type of stuff so bad that I was surprised that it wasn’t horrible, but that doesn’t mean it was good. It is weird seeing it all stacked up together on a plate like that. I’ve never seen Oscar Meyer Salamies. It looks like a fruitcake or something. Just imagine that being just between two pieces of bread, like a burger. Made with chicken and beef, pork added. It’s made with chicken and beef. But hey we added pork as well. It’s a lot of different meats. Why, would you say made with chicken and beef, pork added? Well, ’cause they made it with chicken and beef, but then they added pork. – Added pork. You know. Right, right, right. Just at the very end. – Yeah, right. Oh, should we add pork? Well did you make it with chicken and beef? Yes, yes you can do that. Now when I saw this, I thought it said Van Life. Oh. Like a specific grated mozzarella shred cheese for people in vans. For people living van life, yeah. Yeah. I like that. – And what does it say? Like it says, Violife. Violife. – Yeah. Oh, it’s 100% vegan. Yeah. I’m still eyeing that van life. You know, back when I really got on that kick during the pandemic and on Instagram, I started following all these van life people and like van manufacturing companies, like modification companies. Yeah. Every three outta every four things that I look at on Instagram is still vans. Like, they did not let up. Oh, they got you for life now, yeah. They got, yeah for my van life. For your van life. And I’m just trying to figure out, do I need to start unfollowing these things or do I just need to break bad and buy a van. But here’s the thing. If I was as into van life as you are, I would’ve already gotten a van like four years ago. I know. – That’s true. So I should have gotten – Go ahead you to follow. – and get one, man. No. So you get the van. No, you get it. And then I can use it whenever I want it. No, you get it and let me use it. It’s the maintenance that I’m not, I’m not really all about. Let’s have these veggin’ cheeses as my father would say. Oh, these are vegan. Yeah. Yes, vegan Violife Mozzarella Shreds. So have a little bite there. So you did a whole taste test on vegan cheese or just vegan? Well we did a shredded mozzarella taste test. So we tasted a bunch of shredded mozzarella. I put a bunch in the microwave. Like one of the things we tested was melt-ability. Smart. And so we did a couple of vegan cheeses as well. Were you tasting the, so you weren’t tasting this next to other vegan cheeses exclusively? We actually we did, yeah. Well, we included like probably three or four vegan cheeses ’cause we wanted to find like a good vegan cheese to also include in the mozzarella ranking. It’s hard to find a good vegan cheese. It really is. But we found it, this is good. This is great. This is the tricky. I, okay. I mean maybe, like I said you gotta put this in context. Like. Do you, what do you mean? Like taste real cheese.? If it was next to cheese, this would not be good. Yeah, don’t do that. Well. It’s got that vegan cheese taste to it. Like I can immediately tell it’s vegan, but if it was amongst other vegan cheese, I might be like, ’cause we’ve done that on the show and we’d be like, “Oh this is pretty good”. Yeah. – So I have no context. Yeah, we did do a vegan cheese taste test separately, but for the shredded. ‘Cause there’s not like a lot of shredded vegan cheese that like melts really well or that like, so we wanted to get like three or four. It didn’t have enough to be its own ranking. So we included it into the mozzarella ranking. I have gone back to it three times though and I keep eating, but I don’t know if it’s, I’m trying to figure out what’s happening. How does it melt? Oh, it just makes you like super curious. I can’t tell. I’ll eat an entire lasagna that way. Just like, “Oh, I’m really curious about what’s in here”. Because they should, they’re showing it melt right on here. Yeah. Oh. – So how does it melt? How does it melt? – Yeah. It melts really well. It says, “Melts great”. Yeah, it melts great. This is the, this is it man. Okay. – This is the tricky. You guys kind of liked the first three already. But that’s the thing is that we’ve, you’ve loved all three. I mean, – No. I was surprised by how much I didn’t hate that. I haven’t hated, but I thought I was gonna love that. And as much as I do like salami, now I’m a gnocchi fan. Same. – If it’s on the menu, I get it every time. Absolutely. This is like some sort of overblown grub though. That’s not appetizing. Oh yeah, there’s a lot of pastas that actually look like kind of maggoty. It does like a, – Like a cavatelli? a plump maggot. Yeah a plump, a nice plump maggot. I think that’s what gnocchi means in Italian actually. Okay. That is definitively bad. That is my opinion on this. As someone who likes gnocchi, it tastes like, Glue. It tastes like it has a glue-like, Oh my god. consistency. Yeah. – And taste. Let me get, I don’t wanna get the cloak in anything, but. I don’t have any, there’s no way that’s the sleeper ’cause that’s horrible. How on earth could this taste so bad? It’s made in Italy. It’s a Signature Select. They say that, but I don’t think that’s true. They can’t say it unless it’s true. I think there’s like a little loophole there though or something. Like where maybe some of the products came from Italy or something. Maybe there’s a region of Italy where they like their gnocchi to taste like glue. It says product of Italy right there, dude. Distributed out of Pleasanton, California. Something happened. How does that work? Something happened in Pleasanton. Okay. – But you know what? Alright, one last one here. That’s disturbing. Annie’s Homegrown Organic Cheddar Cheesy Smiles. Now before we taste those, Link, aren’t you and your dad back from your break? When’s the last time you had your eyes checked? What? I tried. Did you see how close you were holding this to your face when you were reading it? Well, I got a cloak on. Oh, it’s the cloak. ‘Cause I can’t, like. You were like this. I get a turn. He was literally this close to your face when you were reading it. Annie’s, I mean like, I can’t even see all the words, I’m so close to it, I can’t see all the words. I did hold it pretty close. I’m just looking out for you. I’m worried about like, – You know what, Leave right now, go to the optometrist. I just got these glasses. These glasses are new. Oh, did you get your eyes checked first? I did. It’s like you. I did, but I also went to a Target, so I don’t know. I think they do a good job. Okay. What I was trying to say before we determine these, is aren’t you and your dad back from your break? You’re doing your podcast again. Yeah, my dad is back. – Tell us about that. My dad went back to the woods for a four week break. If you want to see, if you wanna hear from him on his return. Yes, Dispatches from Myrtle Beach has returned. Check it out. If you’ve never listened to my dad’s podcast that he allows me to be his sidekick on, please do. Do yourself a favor and hang out with my dad. It’s like 30 minutes. Comes out every Thursday and I love him. I just love him to death. You almost called it 30 for Thursday, but then ESPN sued you guys. They did sue us, which lets us know that we made it. Dispatches is from Myrtle Beach. Dispatches from Myrtle Beach wherever you get your podcasts. Now if I’m comparing these cheese puffs to cheese puffs that exist in the world? That’s right. These are horrible. Oh God, these are bad. But as a, it like it checks the box of the crunch and you just, and the carbs and you just keep going back to it. Yeah. What’s wrong with it though? There’s no flavor. Well, they’re baked not fried. That’s first, that’s the first thing. So they’re baked, no artificial flavors, no synthetic colors. No, I can read it just fine. Organic cheese from cows raised without antibiotics or synthetic hormones. That’s the problem, I want some hormones in there. Yeah, yep. Yep. I don’t know. There’s no hormones the cheese puffs. I think a lot of times, – These are bad. When, yeah like some like sort of like health or organic facing foods try to do you know, like a snack, it just doesn’t like jive super well. . Oh, wow. After eating all that and going back to the energy drink. Yeah. I realize how bad this is. You know what, Once you have some separation from it. Link’s right, these are the sleeper. Ah, you’re right! Okay. – It’s really good. And yeah and the main, I love it when like science figures out a way to make something vegan good. And this melts so dang well in the microwave. So if you’re making like, I don’t know, pizza or pasta and you want it to be vegan, like this stuff works really well. I was blown away. And the taste is like kind of creamy and milky too. It tastes like a real. It has, it does have a good consistency. Yeah. – I will give it that. Now, the Bob Ross energy drink, you know, as far as energy drinks go, it’s fine. But we had so many other different flavors, like Monster’s doing some wild stuff that actually tastes really good. It goes with my shirt. And oh, it does match. Take it home with you. That is good cheese though. This is a great find. Isn’t that great? Hashtag van life, you know? Yeah. Yeah. The new brand of cheese, everybody wants Van Life cheese. Hashtag Sporked. Know what to buy so you don’t buy the stuff that you shouldn’t. How about sporked.com? Because hashtag Sporked is probably, you’re not gonna get to the website that way. [Rhett] Charles and Link are back from their break. Be sure to check out Dispatches from Myrtle Beach, the podcast. And don’t miss the live episode recorded at Mythicon.