Welcome to the final More of 2022. I’m pleased that you joined us as we create our ideal school lunches using only $15. $15 is a lot to take to school lunch. I mean, we used to take $3, but we’re old. We’re old. Well, it’s a figurative $15. It’s figurative. It kind of represents- People aren’t actually spending $15 on school lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna check voicemail? I do. Yeah. Is this the right number? Wait, I don’t know if this is the right number. It was. Wait, am I talking to no one? Yeah. Hmm. No. I don’t think this is the right number. Maybe I should just. The weirdest part of this whole thing is that Davin just screamed, “Yeah.” Am I talking to no one? Yes. It’s a voicemail. Yeah. Frigging, frigging what’s up? Freaking what’s up? That’s my new catchphrase for 2023. I’m just giving you a teaser. Oh, I wish we could undo that one. So what do we have here? We’ve got $15 to spend on a school lunch. Let’s start here at the bottom. Drinks. For $1, we can get Capri Sun, chocolate milk carton, bug juice. Don’t know what that is. Kool-Aid burst, Sunny D. So are you gonna go, are you going back to your school brain? Are you going like if you got to go like eat lunch with your kid today and you are gonna like try to put together a a meal for a middle-aged man that you are? I think my answer’s the same no matter what. I was gonna say the same thing. I kind of feel like the fact that you have these options. Let’s just go through all of them though. That’s kind of what I was gonna do. Oh, okay. At $2, we got Goldfish, string cheese, Fruit Roll-ups, Dunkaroos, and Teddy Grahams. $3, the dessert category, Zebra Cakes, Nutty Buddy, Brownie, M&M Cookie, and Ho Hos. So this is sort of like, maybe you’re bringing some stuff and maybe you’re buying some stuff. I’m just trying to wrap my mind around the concept. You know what I’m saying? Why did you skip one $1? He didn’t. You were just speaking. Well, no. Can I tell you what was happening? You were just talking amongst yourself. Yeah, what were, what show were y’all doing? Something really weird happened that we were all involved in, that you weren’t. Okay. So remember when I was like, the weirdest part is that Davin screamed, “Yeah”? Yeah. Because literally all of us, like 10-ish people, turned and looked at Davin as he screamed, “Yeah” in the voicemail section. And it wasn’t him. And then Davin is claiming he adamantly claims he did not scream, “Yeah”, even though all of us adamantly claimed that he did. So you’re telling me that it was on the voicemail or Davin is throwing his voice? Well, I think we need to play the voicemail again. Yep. Not all of it though. Just to the part where- Is this the right number? Wait, I don’t know if this is the right number. Everybody stay quiet, Davin. Wait, am I talking to no one? I don’t think this is the right number. Hey, Davin! Davin, you screamed, “Yeah.” Did I go yeah, and like- No, you literally, you literally screamed, “Yeah.” I didn’t hear it. And all of us looked at you. I did. I heard it. I heard it. Yeah. Davin, I’m with you. You heard “yeah” just now? No, no, no. I heard it the first time when he actually said it. I didn’t hear it either time. And I’m with Davin on this. You know what? I believe you, Davin. Hashtag believe Davin. Okay. $4. Okay. I’m sorry that I missed the $1. Yeah, it was drinks. Link did say bug juice and then he followed that with I don’t know what that is. Okay. Thank you for catching us up on that one. $4. We’re now $4 sides. French fries. Mm. Tater tots. Apple slices with peanut butter. Oh yeah. Hummus and veggies, and mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. And then finally our entrees, our $5 mains. PB&J, Turkey and cheese sandwich, French toast sticks, Crazy bread and marinara sauce. Crazy bread? And pizza. Y’all taking crazy bread to school? It’s like Little Caesars? You gonna get escorted home. Okay. So. First thing I’ll say, I know 100% I’m getting pizza because that is unequivocally for me the best school lunch that you can have. It’s always great. I would’ve had it every single day in high school when they got that Trojan Cafe in the middle of the lunchroom. That was revolutionary. With the triangle pizza. I got it every day. Yeah. In addition to anything else I got, I always got a slice of pizza. Do you know how they snuck that in? Yeah. In a big horse. In a big horse. Yeah. I’m gonna have to go with, now if you get one from each category, that’s, you’re spending your $15. But yeah, but I’m just saying you do three entrees. But you could double up, you could triple up on just entrees. I am going to circle PB&J because there is just something about like a four hour old PB&J wrapped up. The way that that jelly just kinda soaks into that white bread. And then you flip it over and there’s just, and you got, it’s just like, it becomes this like swamp of a thing. It’s a swamp thing. I just love it. I appreciate it. I miss that. And I think that there’s something about the magic of a PB&J. But I don’t think I can get through the middle of a day with just eating something sweet. It feels like nothing happened. Well. You know what I’m saying? It feels like I didn’t I know there’s protein in the peanut butter but it just feels like nothing actually happened. Like in terms of like spiritual eating. What was your, you might have said this already ’cause you know, I was dealing with Davin. It’s definitely the most savory one. But Link, what was your like go-to like your repeated lunch? Did you have a repeated like, this is my sandwich? Was it PB&J? There was a rotation. There was PB&J. There was, if we had Hamburger Helper the night before. Your mom would put it on a sandwich? That would make its way into my thermos the next day. My thermos gay, game was strong. He had a hamburger thermos. My thermos gay. I had a gay thermos. Yeah, right. The Thermos game was strong. Full of Hamburger Helper. And so yeah, I love me some cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. The next day, it’s stuff, it was better. Just like I’m saying the PB&J was better. It congeals. Yeah, it does congeal. So you didn’t have a, that’s for some reason that’s surprising to me that you weren’t like, yes, every day I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and this. I mean, I never ate school lunch. Like I just, I had to eat it from home. Yeah. So that kind of checks out, right? But I’m trying to think what else. I guess I was- Sometimes I would have like a ham and mayonnaise and ham and cheese mayonnaise sandwich. Okay. So there was variety. No mustard. No mustard. I feel like in my childhood I had just way too many PB&Js and when you have them like that often you, you’re like, I don’t like this. But a lot of times when you revisit things like that from your childhood, you’re like, oh this is delicious because I haven’t had it in 20 years, you know? So I didn’t know if you were in the mindset of, you know, you at that time or you now. But I think you’re the you now. Well, I’ve answered that question. Again, that you missed that with the Davin thing. Yeah, ’cause I asked the same thing. Well, I didn’t miss that. I didn’t miss that. But I wanted to clarify the PB&J. My answer was- I guess I’m just talking about my relationship was with PB&J. My answer was, it’s the same. That it’s the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I largely agree with that. When I moved to the apples, like I’m tempted to go with apples slices but that’s too much peanut butter. I wouldn’t. You’re just such a sweet tooth, man. I would like to get, and I’m not normally a sweet tooth, but I just wanna. But you’re identifying yourself as one. You’re outing yourself right now. Can I give a shout out to apple slices with peanut butter mixed, like mix the peanut butter with honey and then slice you some apples. I wanna give a shout out to that. I’m gonna go, I gotta go with tater tots. I mean, that’s classic. I gotta do that. I am agreeing with you. Now we spent $9, friend, but the reason I’m going with tater tots is not because they’re better than french fries because let me just say that I think that generally speaking, they are not as good as french fries. But I’m at school. And the thing about, the way they do things at school sometimes is, even though I ate all of it sometimes they don’t get things right. But tater tots are really, really hard to screw up. They’re so, they’re just, if you put them in if you fry them or put them in the oven, whatever you do, they come out so uniform. I’ve got to skip down here to drinks ’cause I know I gotta have some chocolate milk to go with my PB&J. Well, we’re tracking at this point. That is a really great combo. You gotta put those together. Now I would say, if we had Sweet Acidophils milk, I taught Stevie about that on her podcast. She had never heard of it. I’ve heard of it. I never tried it because it, I was like does it taste like acid? What does it taste like? I just like the fact that it started with sweet ass. But the thing is that Sweet Acidophilus. It’s just a different kind of milk that has like a different bacteria in it. It taste just like regular milk, it just comes in a red box. And you know me, if it’s different, I like it. So, but chocolate milk, was my next thing. It was like, I’m gonna do the chocolate milk. Chocolate milk at school was not good though. Well, it was better than anything else that’s on this list. I just don’t like fruity. I just don’t like fruity drinks. And that’s why everything else is. I know when I go here, I’ve gotta get Fruit Roll-ups. Like, I love So we’re at $10. The taste of a Fruit Roll-up. Hmm. Nope. This is starting to get maybe this is the little bit too cheesy but I’m gonna tell you what I would do. You getting a string cheese. String cheese. I’m gonna have that pizza with all that cheese. I’m gonna have that chocolate milk with all that dairy. And then I’m gonna throw in on it, and I’m not gonna I’m not gonna pull it, I’m gonna bite it. I’m gonna bite it just straight down. Just like that. What about Sunny D? Can we talk a little bit about how it It’s a chemical. It’s wrong. Something’s wrong about it. It’s not, it was only something I experienced at neighbors houses. It seems like all the neighbors had it. You didn’t have it, did you? It’s like, it’s the Yoohoo of orange juice, you know? It’s like you want chocolate milk and you end up with Yoohoo you really gotta adjust your expectations. The Nicholson’s had it. It’s the sweet Acidophilus of milk. Of orange juice. I liked it at other people’s homes just because I liked experimenting with their refrigerators. It was, what was, I’m trying to there’s something that only Sunny D had that was like some sort of a taste experience. It’s not medicinal and it’s, you said it was what? Artificial? It’s definitely artificial tasting. Yeah. It tastes like, again, it tastes like something if they needed to get orange juice on a long trip through space. Right. But it couldn’t be orange juice. Without using- And to be something chemically made. Oranges or juice, they had to make orange juice. You could have no juice or oranges, but please make orange juice and then they make Sunny D. So you got $3 to spend. So do I. Before we make that last choice, we wanna remind you we make podcasts here at Mythical Entertainment. You know what, you should check out the last episode of Ear Biscuits, you know, of 2022 before the break on Monday, the 19th of December. Okay? I gotta figure out what else I’m going to eat here though. Alright, so we got $3. Before you get, you know, what you’re talking about, the medicinal taste of Sunny D? That wasn’t the right word, but yeah. No, but a manufactured thing. Has anybody seen the John Green Dr. Pepper TikTok? Yeah. Yeah. It is. No. First of all, it made me frightened with how good he was at taste testing. And I was like, please don’t start doing this. Don’t take this from us. You’re too good at it. He was describing it? He did that classic thing where you’ve got the five drinks that you can’t see and straws coming up and it was Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, and then two knockoffs, like, you know, one made outta Stevia or whatever. And he got them all right. But the way he waxed eloquent about Dr. Pepper made me, I already like John a lot. It made me love him and it was like, he totally gets why Dr. Pepper is good and the way he describes it and I’m just you just go watch it. I’m not gonna try to re-articulate what he said. But it was basically, specifically because it doesn’t taste like anything from nature. And that’s specifically what makes it so great. And the guy behind it and stuff. And he just, you know, he basically did like a Fault in Our Stars moment. But it was about Dr. Pepper. I hate Dr. Pepper. And yeah. But I think that you’ll understand why people like it when you listen to him talk about it. And it might make you feel differently about it. Okay. Probably not. You might be able to see it from a different angle. Okay. But anyway, that’s what Sunny D is kind of like. But Sunny D doesn’t actually work in the same way, in my opinion. It is a good idea to just occasionally sun your d. You’re talking about perineum sunning? Yeah Perineum. What is the correct word for taint? Perineum. Perineum. I think perineum sunning has been debunked. Well, it sure does feel good. You can get skin cancer down there if you sun your taint too much. That skin’s not made to get sunned. Well, you know, just I didn’t. You’re stretching my, I said sun the d. I didn’t say sun the p. Okay, so you’re not, you’re not specifically leaning back. Bending over or whatever you have to do to do that. Depends on where the sun is. You also don’t wanna oversun your d. It’s like stop mid-backflip. Yes. That’s not something that It’s really stop mid-back somersault. Just Google perineum sunning and you’ll see all the diagrams. It’s hard to stop mid-backflip. You know, that’s like pausing a video. $3, Rhett. Wrap it up. I’m tempted to go with Nutty Buddy, especially after it was left off of the Little Debbie gut check episode. I’m still very sorry that we did that. But again, that’s a lot of peanut butter. I don’t want any more sweets. And I need some cheese in my life. I don’t have any cheese. I feel like the cheese for me goes with the tatter tots. So I’m gonna go with cheese. The cheese goes with the tater tots? I don’t like, well, here’s what I would do. I would eat the PB&J and drink the milk. Then I would move to the tater tots with the string cheese. And then, at for dessert, I would have a Fruit Roll-up. And now I need another drink. I really like a Capri Sun. It’s challenging to skewer. It’s dangerous. Yep. You’re getting a second drink? You do like being hydrated. Milk is not really a- Not really a drink? Milk is more than a drink. It’s like But you’re at school and you’ve got the water fountain. Just remember that. Well, I only have $1 left, so I have to go with a drink. Oh, ’cause you did get the string cheese. I’m gonna go with the Capri Sun. Okay. I think I have And I’m gonna save it for after school so I have something to look forward to while I’m afraid that my mom’s gonna forget to pick me up. Oh, that’s sad, Link. She never did. Oh, mine did. I mean, she never, my mom didn’t pick me up from school. She would pick me up from the babysitter’s and she never not picked me up. Never not picked me up. But I was so scared that she wasn’t. I like, and as much as I’m a savory man. Sipping on that Capri Sun. I like to end my meal with a sweet experience. And brownies can be very, very unpredictable. And that’s what makes me very hesitant to not just do it. Yep. Brownies are the most unpredictable food experience you can have. Why do you find that funny? You don’t think brownies are unpredictable? Brownies are the most unpredictable food experience you can have. That is an extreme statement. If somebody says, Hey, I’ve got a brownie for you. Marinate on that over the break. If I, here’s a brownie and then you’re like, okay, let me see it. Yeah. And then you look at it and you’re like and you’re judging it and you’re like, okay, that’s gonna be too dry. That’s too thin. Oh, that’s too crunchy. You gave me a corner one. And then you eat it. It’s undercooked. And then you’re like, this was a mistake but I’m gonna go What’d you hide in it? Off of what I’m seeing in the picture. And I think this looks like a good brownie in it. And it would be better than the other option. So I’m ending with a nice solid brownie. Okay. When I say brownies are unpredictable I’m also talking about the little, the Girl Scout ones. You remember those? You talking about the Girl Scouts themselves? Are you talking about like the Brownies? Like the young Girl Scouts or are you talking about? Yeah, they’re unpredictable. They’re unpredictable. I’ve never been able to predict the next move of a Brownie. Oh yeah, I only went for like a few different sessions and dropped right outta that. Yeah. Is it like Brownies is equal to Cub Scouts? Yeah. Is pre Girls Scouts? Yeah. Yeah. Help us win some Signal Awards. “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach” and “Best Friends Back Alright” are nominated and we need your votes. So click on the link in the description.