GMM 2301: We Tried EVERY Goldfish Flavor

Which Goldfish flavor will go for the gold? – Let’s talk about that. (light music) Good Mythical Morning. – Hey, you okay? – I’m good. I wanted to really get the good out of there ’cause this is a special episode. – It sounded very bad. – Oh, really? – Yeah, I mean, but if it made you feel good, then that’s all that matters. – I feel great. – Welcome to the season 22 finale. Yeah, it’s been a great season. (crew applauding) It’s been a great season. Listen, we had some wholesome fun with Cookie Monster – Yes. – Dream come true. We made headlines with a scandalous story about Bill Murray. He has not called us. We recreated game shows from all over the world. We brought back the man who sniped our seminal vessels. That’s what’s in our ball sacks. – From the dead, we brought him back? From the dead. – Yeah, well, you remember our doctor, Dr. Hyman. – Yes. I didn’t remember, but now I do. – And we also ate some stuff. – Yeah, occasionally. – Remember that? – We ate some stuff but the fun ain’t over yet because beginning this coming Monday, we’re kicking off our annual best of the year episodes. So don’t miss it, all right? Will there be seminal vessels? Let’s wait and see. – But for now, we wanna end the year with everybody’s favorite snack that smiles back. Now, we’re talking about Goldfish. And we were learned, we’re surprised to learn. We were learned. (crew laughing) – We get learned. – Yeah, that’s what happens here. We get learned all the time. But we were surprised to learn that that lunchbox staple we all know and love has a way wider variety of flavors than we ever realized. It’s time for Gut Check, Goldfish edition. – We scoured the internet to source every Goldfish flavor we could find even including some no longer sold, limited edition flavors. But fun fact, this was one of the hardest Gut Checks to source ever according to the crew. About 10 flavors listed on the Pepperidge Farm website ended up being impossible to actually find even after contacting three separate eBay sellers for one flavor and a visit to the Goldfish factory. – Well, we didn’t send somebody one of the eBay sellers went. – One of the eBay sellers was so motivated to help us they went to the factory. – And they were turned away by security because you can’t do that. You can’t just show up and be like, “I got Goldfish that I need (crew laughing) for the internet.” – Yeah, apparently Goldfish has been hit hard by supply chain issues, haven’t we all? But today, our final number of Goldfish varieties, it’s still a very strong 27. – Very strong. We’re gonna rank each one of those 27 flavors on a scale of one to 100 based on our initial gut reaction. And then the winner in the end will be crowned the Golden Fish. – One to 100, you say? – One to 100. – I’ve been given another visual aid. This one is not insulting at all. – No. – Link, you just find the fish that you feel and that’s how you come up with your score. – Okay, thanks guys, I feel so loved and supported. – I will like to say I’m still a little bit jealous that no one has ever given me anything on these episodes except the food that we eat. – [Stevie] Gentlemen, if at any point in your Goldfish journey that your Goldfish gulpers need a refresh, we have some nice, nostalgic Berry Blue Kool-Aid on standby. So there you go, Rhett. – That makes sense. – [Stevie] This is what we’re giving you today. – Oh, I like how it matches. – He also got it. – In our Mythicals. – It doesn’t count unless he doesn’t get it. – [Stevie] Okay, Link, pour yours out. – No. – Our first category contains the basic Goldfish flavors. – Basic. – Starting with Original. – Original. (both crunching) – You trying to get one or two? I got two. – One. – I was trying to get one. It does a lot of good things for me. – Bring that back in here. It wasn’t as orange as I thought it was. Why is it not orange? – [Stevie] This is Original. – ‘Cause you eat the ones with cheese on them all the time. – I didn’t even know there was a non, oh. – Original is like for babies. Very few people eat the Original anymore. Everybody gets the ones with cheese on them. – Yeah, I thought that was it, so that’s why I’m giving it a 20. – It’s not that bad, but it could be so much more. 50. – [Stevie] Cheddar. – So this is what I thought was Original? (both crunching) – This is what you think about with the orange bottom on the bag. – Bloop-bloop-bloop. 75. – Oh, 75. – 75, ouu. – This is a nice, solid 75. – You wanna touch it? – Nope, nope. – [Stevie] Whole Grain Cheddar. – Whole grain? – Okay, who needs that, right? I don’t know why this is hard. I mean, I feel like it’s my fault KG. I feel like I’m gonna accidentally hit her finger with my tongue and I don’t wanna do that. – That’s not bad. – This is actually not nearly as bad. I think I might call it a 68. – I’m calling it a 58, I think maybe ’cause it’s healthy. – [Stevie] Parmesan. – Oh, yeah. – Parmesan. – Tongue. I don’t typically frequent this one. – It’s subtle. – I actually like the tang a little bit. – That is nice. – I’m going to 77. – Well, I’m gonna go to 69. (crew laughing) – [Stevie] Pizza. (both crunching) – I don’t really like pizza flavored things because it’s never as good as pizza. – Tastes a little burnt, but it’s still not bad. 61. – You know what? You’re right, you’re right about that. I’m going all the way to 45. – [Stevie] Pretzel. – Pretzel. Man, that just tastes like a pretzel, which is not my favorite snack. 47. – Yeah, 29. – [Stevie] Veggies and Fruits Cheddar. – What? (both crunching) It taste okay. I mean, it doesn’t taste bad. – Yeah, they’ve completely hidden it. Oh, no. Aftertaste. Did you get that aftertaste? Almost metallic. Hit me right at the end. 30, ha. You can’t fool me, Pepperidge. – No, I didn’t, 74. – [Stevie] And that concludes our basics category. Next, is all about the aesthetics. These are variations of the classic cheddar with a different presentation. The shapes and colors category. Is there really a difference? You’re about to find out starting with Princess Cheddar. – Oh, it’s pinky. – They’re pink. – I swear it tastes worse. – I gotta say I agree. I was like, “Do I taste pink?” Am I tasting pink right now? – 47. – I mean, I still think it’s okay. I think 54. – [Stevie] Colors. – Oh, gosh. – Which color do I get with my tongue? – Green, orange, darker orange, red. – Again, this is for children. – I think these are pretty awesome. 85. – Whoa. Because of the colors? – It tastes like the best, but then it’s colored. Okay, 30. – 34. Very colorful. (crew laughing) – 30. – [Stevie] “Star Wars The Mandalorian” Cheddar. – What? (crew laughing) Mandalorian? – Oh, these are completely different, it’s a different shape. – What is that shape? – Is that Baby Yoda? – It’s the helmet. – It’s the helmet. I think it’s exactly the same, it’s just shaped different. – Yeah, I’m not falling for this as big of a “Star Wars” fan I am. – But I feel violated. 60. – 70. – [Stevie] Disney Mickey Mouse Cheddar. – Okay. – Okay, these have got the– – If you eat too many of these, they’ll make you a Disney adult. Watch out now. – I can swear I can taste the Mickey in that. (crew laughing) There’s something odd about it, isn’t there something odd about it? – You’ve been Mickey’d? – Yeah, I just got Mickey’d. 25. – 40. – [Stevie] Baby Cheddar. – Oh, they’re just little. – Oh, they’re just smaller? Seems like a health hazard. 20. They all taste exactly the same. – I think they taste okay, but I think that we didn’t need them to be smaller. – Except for Princess. – We didn’t need them to be smaller. So, 64. – [Stevie] And that concludes the shapes and colors category. Up next, it’s about to get extreme. This is the Flavor Blasted category. – Taste way better. – Flavor blasted? – Flavor blasted. – You’ve had these. In fact, I guarantee you most of the time somebody hands you a Goldfish, it’s flavor blasted. – [Stevie] And we’re gonna start with Flavor Blasted Cheddar and Sour Cream. – Oh, yes. Oh. – Wow. Where have you been all my life? – I feel like I went to a hotel room and realized there was like a whole nother part of it. I’ve been spending the day in this wow, this is so small and then I open it. Oh, it’s a suite. You know what I’m saying? That’s how I feel right now. – How many days did it take you to figure out that your hotel room had a second area? – Well, that’s never actually happened, but I imagine it would feel like this. That is a 95. – 87. Wow. – Sour cream? Tell me about it. – [Stevie] Flavor Blasted Screaming Salt and Vinegar. – Oh, screaming? (Link screaming) – I can’t grab them. – That’s good stuff. – Oh, man. Flat screen T.V. HBO. (crew laughing) – 81. – That’s really good, 83. – [Stevie] Flavor Blasted Cheddar Jack’d. – Oh, let’s get jacked. – Oh, jacked? I got three of those. – It’s not bad, but when you factor in the disappointment, my face looks like, I guess 50. I just looked at my own face. – Yeah, it’s like I found a stain on the pillow. (crew giggling) – Flip it over. – 61. – [Stevie] Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar. – Oh, hey, get ready. – Okay. Don’t sway me. – This is probably– – Ah, freak. I just got a paper cut (crew laughing) from the edge of my, look at that. Is that gonna start bleeding? – Oh, wow. – You see what happens, Rhett? – That feels like it was sabotage. He’s gonna bleed. Look at that, he’s bleeding. Get a closeup of that. (crew giggling) – Next thing you know, I’m gonna be choking on a baby Goldfish. – Oh, gosh, here. Put some pressure on it. After having those sour cream ones, that was not as good as I wanted it to be, but it was still good and it was still better than cheddar. So it was a solid 79. – Tastes like blood, I gotta give it a zero. – Oh, come on, dude. Hold on, no, you can’t do that. – Well, hold on. No, what was it? Give me another taste. – It was Flavor Blasted Cheddar. – Xtra Cheddar. – Xtra Cheddar, man. Oh my gosh. That’s what happened last time. You dropped one and you reach for it and hurt yourself. Just if you drop, don’t reach. – 65. But I’m not happy about that. – [Stevie] Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheesy Pizza. – Cheesy, boom. We know how we feel about pizza. – It’s better than the other pizza by miles. – It is significantly better. – 82. – I’m gonna give it a solid 71. – [Stevie] Flavor Blasted Wild White Cheddar. – Oh, I like white cheddar. – I like… – I like that better than the regular cheddar. – All the blasteds are better. – 84. – 81. – [Stevie] And that concludes our Flavor Blasted category. – That was a lot of fun. – Up next, it’s a change of pace with the sweet category. Starting with S’mores Grahams. – S’mores Grahams? – Look at this. This like a freaking pit stop in the middle of a Gut Check. – Look at that. Can you get that bloody rag off of the table please? (crew giggling) What’d you say? – S’mores Grahams. – S’mores Grahams. Oh, my. Link, take a look at it. I’m sorry I just broke a rule, but there’s three different things and you gotta make sure you get three. – I did it, I did. Wow, that’s legit accurate. – Whoa, the texture on that marshmallow. – I really am approving this. – Man, that’s good. – I’ve got to give it a 84. – I was gonna say 86. So I guess I will, (laughs) 86. – I still got a good (indistinct). – [Rhett] I never seen you adopt that technique before on this show. – [Stevie] Vanilla Cupcake Grahams. – Okay. – Okay. – This is one thing. – They’re really nailing the flavor. – That taste like a ‘nilla wafer almost. – No, it’s very cupcakey ’cause you can taste the icing in it. If you like that, if you’re into it, you should try it. I’m not. I’m gonna give it a 63. – Yeah, I’m gonna give it just solid 70. I liked it, but nothing to write home about. – [Stevie] Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Spice Grahams. – Collab. I wonder how much money Dunkin gets out of that. – 15%. – Not a big fan, 31. – Just kind of tastes like a Graham cracker with some pumpkin spice on it. 40. – Yep. – [Stevie] Honey Bun Grahams. – Oh, okay. Tastes exactly the same as the last one without pumpkin. – I’m not really getting any Honey Bun. 19. – I like it, 56. – [Stevie] Giant Graham Crackers: Cinnamon. – Good gosh. This is like a freaking dog biscuit. (crew laughing) – Let me see if I can bring it in with my tongue. – Is this a Milk-Bone collaboration? – Yeah, I feel like I’m morally opposed to this one. – I agree, man. 15. (crew laughing) – [Stevie] I will say I really enjoyed the way that they swam into you. – Yeah, that was pretty creative. – I was very entertained. – Everybody’s doing their part. It’s the season finale. We wanna remind you that this is a dynamic show. Everybody’s giving their best. – Anything can happen. People can get hurt. – So that after the holidays as we go on into 2023, we just want you to come back. – Yeah, Link will be healed by then. – [Stevie] And that concludes our sweet category. And finally, you know it, you love it, it’s the miscellaneous category featuring a few limited edition, no longer sold flavors starting with Jalapeno Poppers. – Oh. – No longer sold? Are these no longer sold? – [Stevie] These are no longer sold. – I like that. I like jalapeno flavor. – It’s not too spicy, which makes it palatable to me. So we’re saying bring it back. – 76. (crew laughing) – 72. – It’s getting spicier as I sit here. – [Stevie] Old Bay. – Old Bay. – And is this gone too? – [Stevie] No longer sold. – Woo, put that in your clam chowder. – Oh, that’s a good idea. – What in the world? – Old Bay’s just kind of, I can take it or leave it to be honest with you. 63. Oh, did that offend the New Englanders? – I did not expect that from you. – I mean, I just think there’s so many better seasonings. Maybe four years ago it was great. – I’m giving it a 49 because the more I tasted it, it doesn’t work. – Wow. – Mega Bites Sharp Cheddar. – Oh, big daddies. (Link indistinctly speaking) Now, that’s the first one we’ve had that’s that size. I like the way the air gets in there. 70. – It did taste good. 70. – 70. – [Stevie] Mega Bites Cheddar Jalapeno. – Again, are these discontinued? I need to know. – [Stevie] These are not discontinued. – I like the bigger size. – I do as well. – I like the airiness in there. – I’m going into the 83 realm for this one. – I’m gonna give it a 76. – [Stevie] And that concludes the miscellaneous category. You have now tasted all of the available Goldfish. – We made it. – Your scores will now be tabulated so you may more closely judge the top four Goldflish flavors. – Get them Goldflish out here. (water trickling) You know what’s happened over at sporked.com? The Sporked Awards. Yes, they’re rounding up all the best stuff they ate this year. And then for two weeks, starting on December 19th, they’re gonna be revealing the best crunchy snack, the best candy, the best ice cream and more. So visit sporked.com to know what you should be eating. – I know I’m going to. – [Stevie] Okay guys, according to you, the top four Goldfish products in no particular order are S’mores Grahams, Flavor Blasted Cheddar and Sour Cream, Flavor Blasted Wild White Cheddar, Flavor Blasted Screaming Salt and Vinegar, but before you crown the best one, would you like to know which product you deemed the worst? – Yes. – Oh, it was that big one. – [Stevie] It was pretty obvious. Yeah, it’s the Giant Graham Crackers: Cinnamon. – Yeah. – Okay. – Okay, so flavor blasted. – I like that S’mores made it to the top. We get all up and haughty about our savoriness. – I mean, I already know I love these, man. – The Flavor Blasted really bring it. It’s good work there. – I can’t imagine getting better than that to be honest with you. – It kind of makes sense because my favorite chip. – We loves the cheddar sour cream chips. – It’s cheddar sour cream. – We also love salt vinegar chips though. – They are so– – Okay, this is in the same category as this, but not as good as this. – Nope. – Because it doesn’t have the sour cream. – Exactly. – Super solid though. – All right, Screaming. Really packs a punch at first. Very vinegary. – Man, they’re so different. I think we gotta lose cheddar. White cheddar. – We haven’t even eaten the S’mores yet though. – Oh, yeah. Between these three, these are better. – Look at that. – [Stevie] Is this the first time that an Original slash Original Xtra isn’t in this final consideration? – The Original is forgotten and for good reason. I like the fact that you can play with the ratios here. And each individual piece brings its own strength and they’ve done it across the board. – Okay, so you agree with me getting rid of them. These are great, but they’re not in the top three. – So, it’s really a question of between the S’mores and this which one should come in second? – Well, I feel like I’m standing by what I said earlier, which I prefer ultimately savory. And I feel like that’s where Goldfish sing the most. But this is just such a surprise that I think it makes into our top three, but not all the way in the top two. – Yeah, we’re gonna put Salt and Vinegar at number two. – And that means that ar official Golden Fish is Flavor Blasted Cheddar and Sour Cream. (both yelling) Look at that. Get the fish moving. – I feel very good about what we’ve done here this entire year. Thanks for being your mythical best. – Lost one. – Thank you for making us a part of your daily routine. Remember to come back next week for the best of 2022 countdown episodes. – Yes. And as always, thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is. – Hi, I’m Mica Lee in Waxahachie, Texas. And I teach first grade and it’s the first day of school and it’s time to spend the Wheel of Mythicality. (wheel spinning) – What happens when it lands on one of us? (crew laughing) – Good question. – We gotta show up at that class? Click the top link to watch us build our dream school lunches in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the wheel’s gonna land. To find out all the best stuff the Sporked crew ate in 2022 head over to sporked.com.

Discover more from Searchicality

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading