Welcome to “Good Mythical More”- Here we go. Welcome to “Good Mythical More”- Oh gosh. Oh-kay. So today in “Good Mythical More”, What are we doing? I’m gonna tell you revenge stories. Petty revenge stories. Oh, and we have to predict how they end? Yeah. Okay. But first we have to boogie down now without busting a bubble. Is the music stopped? That music didn’t finish, is that the joke? Not funny! Oh, no, no, don’t, don’t, don’t bust your bubble. I’m surprised nothing popped when I sat down. It’s all about even distribution. So remember that- So, predict the revenge story, huh? The last time you were in a bubble wrap? Freecreditreport.com. Not a sponsor, they were. Yeah. That was a fun video shoot. It was. We popped all types of bubbles and we made bubble suits, but they weren’t this nice. They were super thick. Well, they were thick, they were like multiple layers so we could just keep popping and popping. We squeezed each other. Okay. Revenge stories. Doesn’t pop. This first one comes from user Runner B-One. Runner Boy? Yeah. On “Reddit”. “My coworker sometimes throws out her lunch in the garbage can at my desk instead of her own because she claims she can’t stand the smell of old ketchup that’s been sitting out for a couple hours. I have asked her several times to stop, but she will then just wait until I get up to go to the bathroom and do it and hide my garbage can under my desk, so she thinks I won’t see it.” How did this person get their revenge? Huh. This is a pretty crappy thing to do, first of all. I think this is, is this flirting? It’s easy to just throw something away. You know? It’s just like… It’s ineffective flirting. What is the, well, what’s the other explanation for why she’s so hardheaded about it? Women. Women. Wait, I think it’s, I, okay, I mean, I’m trying to put my so, I’m trying to imagine- I know what he did. The situation in which this would make sense. Like, maybe they’re one of those places that like they’ve laid everyone off, and there just two people working at the end of a very large, like room in two little cubicles and so there’s no other trash can, like that’s the only explanation that would make this justified. Why wouldn’t you go to the communal trash can? No it’s implied that she has her own- Oh. Right, why wouldn’t you go? Why wouldn’t you just? Yeah. “Oh, I don’t wanna get up.” It’s either her trash can or his trash can is what you’re saying. Yeah. I think what he did was he squirted a bunch of ketchup underneath her desk. So that it- It just got old and stayed down there. The smell. It’s like the atomic dump where you take a dump in the tank of someone’s toilet. Yep. They call that an upper decker. Yeah and they, boy, they smell it for days. They don’t know what’s wrong, they call a plumber. Every time you flush it puts more poop in the bowl. Yeah. It fills it up with poop water, every time. It’s a beautiful thing. Don’t recommend it, but we did it. It’s actually hard to do. It was like a college prank thing. It’s like when you’re up there trying to do it, it’s just like, you know, it’s not made to be sat upon. If You’re that elevated, it’s tough to let yourself relax. Yeah. And plus you’re like, the people that you’re pranking are just outside the door. Right. Presumably, they might be like, you know… Yeah. It’s a high risk situation. We don’t recommend it. What do you think that he do? I think that… These won’t pop. She was eating her, she was about to eat her lunch. He had finished his lunch, and he took her full lunch and threw it in the trash can, and then put his trash lunch and put it where her lunch was. Ooh, gotcha! All right. Who’s closer? “Every time she does it, I wait until she goes to the bathroom, take out the little plastic container that she had ketchup in and put it way in the back of her bottom desk drawer. There are six in there now, the oldest is over a month old. So far she hasn’t noticed the smell, gonna keep doing it and see how long it takes her to notice.” Oh. Oh! Got him! Flirting. They’re, this is office flirting. It’s also like they’re very conscious of when they’re in the bathroom, you know? It’s like she, yeah. He goes to the bathroom, she throws out her lunch. She goes to the bathroom. Right. It’s like… Well that could be the best, you know, depending on your job, that could be the best part of the day, Stevie. Yeah. When I worked as an engineer, going to the bathroom was like the best part of the day. Oh Yeah. You know? I’d go to a whole other floor to do it. It was like, all right, I’m gonna go to the long way. I’m gonna stop by and talk to Bill. And here I go- “Hey Bill, I’m going to do number two. I’ll let you know what happens on the way back through.” You wanna walk around and let everybody see your shoes, so that when you’re taking a dump in the bathroom they can know that it’s you. Ha! Those were the days, man. Those were the days. Plus as engineers back then, you had really cool shoes. Oh yeah. Loafers. Yeah, ’cause you had that clip on phone onto your belt too. I had a clip on phone. I also had the clip on ID that like zing, click, click, zing. I will have you know, Stevie, at my company, we wore jeans on Friday. Oh! But we still tucked our collared shirts into them. You wore, you dressed the same way. Oh yeah. You had to tuck your shirt in. No one tried to find out what would happen if they didn’t tuck their shirt in. Like, you know- But also like, was it, it wasn’t like a cool- Had to give respect. You weren’t like, ooh, I wish I could wear this ill-fitting polo not tucked in to my jeans ’cause that’s cool. It was, fashion was like not even remotely part of the calculation. It was just like, this collared shirt is this color, these pants are khaki, these shoes are brown and everyone dressed exactly the same. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Okay. This next story comes from Redditor, Chief Pompadour. Oh. “At my previous job, we had separate refrigerators for the different shifts.” Wow, all this drama really centers around you know, work environment- Food. Food at work. The things that matter. “We had separate refrigerators for different shifts. Our food was constantly being stolen or messed with. One day my buddy and I decided to…” Switch the Fridges. First thing I thought was like, I mean I would totally put a camera on the fridge to catch who was doing this stuff. Like, I wanna know who’s doing it, so we can, they can be targeted. Yeah, yeah. I think it’s the old switcheroo. The old big, bag, fri-uh, big fridge switcheroo. So they switched the total fridges? They took everything from one fridge and put it exactly the same in the other fridge. So then they were raiding their own fridge contents? I’m not, I haven’t really thought this through, but that’s the first thing that came to mind. I think that’s it, man. Yeah. You’re agreeing? They switched everything in the fridges, so when they raided the other fridge, they were only raiding themselves. Here’s my second answer. Okay. They glued the fridge shut, but they installed a little tiny fridge door inside the door that was like the size of the like a refrigerator for a mouse. So like a peephole? So you could open it and look in and grab things, one at a time. But it was just small enough so that anything you grabbed, you couldn’t get out. So if you grabbed it, you got stuck. You got me, Rhett. That’s gotta be it. That’s it. My secondary answer has become my primary answer. Well, both really great guesses, but they decided to, “Make a nice cherry cheesecake out of cooking lard. We finished it off with graham cracker crust and cut a couple slices out of it since we knew the thief wouldn’t be brazen enough to take the first bite. We never found out who the thief was but we never had to worry about anyone messing with our food ever again.” Dang, they set a fat trap. That is smart. Dang, and to cut a couple of slices out and you know when somebody starts eating some stolen cheesecake, it takes ’em a few bites to realize that they’re into something bad. Ooh, yeah. ‘Cause they wanna love it ’cause they stole it. Maybe it’s me. They want to justify it. Maybe it tastes bad cause it’s naughty. Okay, hopefully this next one is not about office food, not that I don’t love hearing about it. And little doors. It’s paraphrased from SomeUsername47. “I live in a college dorm on an all female floor. One day I went down the hall to refill my water bottle in a tank top without a bra on.” Okay, I’m liking this better. I’m tracking, I’m tracking. “There had been a small group of people hanging out in the halls, and I didn’t think much of it until one of the girls knocked on my door and asked me not to walk around without a bra because her boyfriend was there and saw me.” I don’t like this. “I agreed and apologized but later overheard her telling the story as if I’d gone out of my way to seduce her boyfriend. It escalated even further when an RA told us someone had used the anonymous complaint form to complain about how people had been dressing indecently, and reminded us all to cover up.” Don’t get me started with- What kind of bull shh is this? This is just, you know, you’ve got kids these days, they think they can, they think they can, they think they can just lodge a complaint and then just totally turn against somebody. They love to complain about it. Like it’s a problem. This generation. It’s a problem. This generation. It’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna totally write this person off and now I’m gonna be making up stuff about ’em and I’m gonna confront ’em, they’re gonna give a nice apology, and yet I’m still gonna spread rumors and submit anonymous complaints”. It’s like- Rather than just talking to somebody, first of all- Yeah. Just mind your own business. But first of all, don’t have a problem with something you shouldn’t have a problem with and then if you do have to have a problem with something, talk to them about it. Don’t target people. It’s so, I mean it’s so, it it makes me angrier than satisfying videos cut short. Yeah. If we didn’t have these bubble suits on right now, we’d come right through that screen and take care of it. I need some sweet revenge Stevie, this one better be good. I think this is probably, next time she knew that the boyfriend was coming over, she went to the girl’s dorm room, she glued the door shut. She put a little door inside her dorm room door, and then she took one booby and stuck it in the door. They call it a teat hole. Yeah, right. That’s what I think she did. Most of my answers have to do with putting little doors in things, I realize that. Come up with something better than that. I think it has to do with she took all of the bras. She stole her bras? She took all her bras. She stole the girl’s brasiers. And she strung them together. Uh huh? And put them through that little door. Oh haha. Yeah. That’s what she did. I think I like this. And she started pulling on ’em and it’s like, oh, my bra is coming through the little door and then it’s like, oh, it’s two bras, it’s three bras. Yep. It’s all my bras. Every one of them. How’d they get out there? “I wish my boyfriend was here to help me pull on my bras. Oh my gosh, I’m afraid of what my boyfriend’s gonna do if he sees another girl with her tank top on.” It’s gonna cause him to stumble. Okay We’re pretty close to it? Yeah. “I’m afraid that my boyfriend is gonna be influenced, and can’t control himself. I love boys who I have to do everything for them and make sure that they don’t do anything inappropriate.” Wow. This feels, this feels fresh, man. “I knew that the girl’s boyfriend didn’t go to school with us, and because of the pandemic, we weren’t allowed to have non-student or non-family guests at the dorm. So I used the same anonymous complaint form to complain about people bringing their off-campus boyfriends to our dorm. Our RA emailed to say that due to the complaint, they’d be enforcing the no off-campus visitor rules and checking IDs of all guests.” Ooh! “So she no longer needs to worry about her boyfriend seeing anything.” Okay. So let the tatas waggle. I appreciate this, but I also feel like this revenge involved everyone suffering a little bit. You just wanted a little door, that’s why you’re upset. If everyone had a little door. He just wanted a little door. Everybody gets something. He just wanted a little door. I’m gonna put it in the complaint box. “I believe everyone should have a little door.” It’s not targeted at anyone, everyone benefits. Next week you put another complaint in the box. “Where are those little doors?” Yes, “Following up on my previous request for little doors. Still have not seen the construction process begin.” “It’s been three weeks, I’ve seen no movement on the little door front.” The Little Door Front. That’s what the movement’s called. ‘Cause I get people to sign a petition, would you like to join the Little Door Front? We all wear the same T-shirts. Just says “Little Doors” inside of a heart. You know what I’m saying? Little, little, we love little doors. Love little doors. Wanna remind you, my dad’s podcast is in video form, first episode’s out today. Watch my dad talk. He’s, man. Watch my dad read your emails. He’s got a great voice. But you add the face in there and it’s even better. Watch my dad try to decipher what your jokes mean. Yeah, it’s great. Youtube.com/dispatchesfrommyrtlebeach. Subscribe. Click the bell. Every Thursday. Hmm. Okay, this is from JimmyRickyBobbyBilly. “This morning traffic was totally backed up due to a fender bender in a construction zone. This woman decided to try and blast by all of us by getting into the left turn only lane to force her way up front. Lot’s of honking-” Left what? Left turn only. Left, yeah. Okay. “Lots of honking and middle fingers didn’t stop her, so I hatched my evil plan.” What did JimmyRickyBobbyBilly do? Well if she already passed him… Right? That’s the safe assumption? So then I guess he had to whip it over, and get behind her. This is tough, man. Well, what you could do, let’s say that she pulls over, goes up there, but then she’s not able to get back in and he gets up there where he’s even with her. You gotta, first of all, you gotta be really careful, like. Yeah, you gotta be really careful. In LA, like people do dumb stuff a lot. Just ’cause there’s so many people and it’s crazy traffic. I almost always just have no, I’m no response. Do not do anything. I hardly ever honk a horn. If somebody acting like a ass on the roads- ‘Cause you just don’t know, man. You don’t know about these folks. Do not do anything. Please. So that being said, we can laugh at what this guy did, but like, don’t do anything. Just take it on the chin. Move on. Just drive on. Drive on. I like to talk to myself in those moments though. Talk to yourself. Yeah. It’s good to get- Say you dumb idiot! You’re an idiot! It’s good to get it out. It’s good to get it out. That’s what I do. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, but that’s all. Now- Don’t gesture. Don’t honk. Don’t, definitely don’t do what this guy did. Yeah. I think I- Whatever it is. I’ve thought about it a little bit. I think I know what he did. He got out there next to her, he cut her off a little bit. He got out and put a little door on her door real fast. Right, did he open the door? He put a little door on her passenger door. He stuck his hand through, and gave her the finger. Pulled it back, got in his truck and went, ’cause he was a, he’s a door guy. He was actually on his way to that all girls college. To install a little door? To do the doors in every single room. Y’all hear what JimmyRickyBobbyBilly did? Did you hear what a little door guy did on his way to get a little doors? He put a little door on a car. He did it so fast, she didn’t know what hit her and then he did a bird through it. He did a bird through it? He did a bird through the little door. Man. What did he do, Stevie? Oh, Link’s not? Link agrees? Link agrees. I think he agrees. I def- I agree. “I wave at her nicely and point to her back tire. Then I motion to her to roll down her window, and tell her her tires really low and she should pull over to the gas station, put some air in it. She smiles, says thanks, and pulls into the gas station. I drive off as she’s getting out to check her perfectly fine tire. The gas station exit is right where the accident was. It probably added 20 minutes to her commute to pull in there and try and get it back out.” This isn’t bad. This isn’t bad. I, again, I don’t advise it, but it was, it was passive aggressive. Under the guise of helping. And she’ll never catch up with you. Unless you’ve got a sign that says like little door guy with a phone number and a website. Right At that point, she’s gonna, she’ll know exactly where to find you. Your back tire’s flat, the little door on your tires open. You need to get, you gotta close that rubber door. Dispatches from Myrtle Beach now has a YouTube channel, and the very first video is out right now. Check it out.