Welcome to Good Mythical More. We are gonna’ taste some new products to the market that I believe they’re new. We’ll have to clarify that, but they’re bad. You should not try these. If you’re tempted, you shouldn’t try ’em. There may be some good ones in here to throw us off. I really don’t know what’s going on. Yeah, I think we’re gonna’ taste two or three versions of something, and one is something that Sporked liked and one is something they really didn’t like. Oh. Okay. And we’re trying to see if we can guess. Look at you helping me out. But first, let’s check our voicemail. Hello Rhett and Link. Hello. You may not know this superhero, but it is I, Fart Boy. Carney, was that you? No, I wish. Is that why you liked it so much? Fart Boy? That’s so stupid. Fart Boy. It is, I, Fart Boy. That got through? They all get through, right? I mean, what didn’t get through? You call the number. Like what didn’t make it to primetime? Think of all the voicemails that didn’t make it to primetime, but Fart Boy did. Welcome to primetime. And welcome Gwynedd. Gwynedd, Gwynedd, I want you in the middle today. Oh my god. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s just- I wasn’t prepared for this. I think it’s gonna’ be, I think this is gonna’ be better. Hi. You’ve been over here some. Fart boys. Yeah, that’s right. At times. That’s right. I’m not gonna’ lie, at times. All right, well. So, who, who, who? Were we right about this? I mean, once Rhett told me what, how I was wrong about. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so yeah, I can’t say if these are new products. Usually I’m coming here with new products. Today I’m coming here with things that we tasted and specifically did not like. Right. I know it’s kind of- But we have two versions of every one. So one of these things is the thing we didn’t like. And the other one is something that we really, really liked. And it was the thing that we ranked highest on our list. Oh, so. Should be obvious. So the best and the worst. So the best and the worst. It should be obvious, but maybe it’s not. I’m really open to hearing your thoughts on some of these things. Y’all wanna’ start with pork rinds? I think we should. Okay. Here we have Baken-ets. Yeah. It’s like- Chicharonnes. It’s like Frito’s brand of Okay. pork rinds. Okay, this is just Pork rinds. pork rinds, pork skins, Whose brand? traditional. Frito Lay. Oh. So they’re like, I mean, you’ll find those anywhere. Gas stations, whatever. Oops. And then these… Pork King Good. Yeah. Pork King Good, salted butter flavored. Yes. Pork rinds. So this one goes with this. This with that one. Yeah. I’ll try that one. Salted butter. Okay. I can already tell that these are not gonna’ be great because the salted butter flavor feels like, I mean, it smells weird, but it tastes pretty good. Oh no, it’s good to me. All right. I think it might be better. It taste, yeah, it tastes good. This might be the best. All right. This is porking good man. Okay. Oh no. Then you get- That’s a pork rind. That’s a pork rind. Oh yeah. That’s what you want a pork rind to taste like. You want it to taste like- Pig. Like a pork rind. It makes me think about pig. It makes me think about what it is. So I’m going, I think I’m going against you. These are the ones that you didn’t like. Those are the ones we didn’t like. Yeah. I think there’s something about like the combination of salted It’s getting horrible butter now that I’ve had that. pork skin that was like kind of unpleasing to us. Weirdly, this brand also had like a salt and vinegar flavor that I really liked. So it’s not Pink salt. the pork rinds themselves that are bad. It was just like that combination of like pork and salted butter. I know, but- It’s also, if you don’t like pork rinds, you might like these. Okay. I think we can, you know what, one of the ways, That’s a good thought. one, there’s another way to create this dichotomy. And it’s just like, the one that, These are good though. you guys really liked and the one that everyone that you hated, that Link will inevitably like every single time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean this is the pattern that we’ve established over years is that he likes bad things. But also like in what situation, are you ever in where you’re like, I’m forced to eat pork rinds, so I might as well get the one that’s the farthest away. I do think that one of the strengths of Sporked is that they not, they don’t just say what sucks, but they say what’s good if you’re into different things. Mm-hmm. So this could be, if you really want to eat pork rinds, but you don’t like pork rinds, then you’ll love these because they suck. Okay. Is that, I think they just suck. Like if you don’t like pork rinds, you’re already gonna’ not like those ’cause that’s a bad version of a pork rind. Yeah. But when you tasted them before giving it something to compare it to, you didn’t hate it. Well, when I smelled it, I didn’t like it, but when I tasted I was like, okay, now. But then I tasted a real pork rind. Okay. I know. I was gonna’ say, so actually- Isn’t that what a pork rind is though. I think that when you taste these things, like in a vacuum, it’s like, you’d be like, I don’t know, it’s not that bad. But we’re tasting like so many things head-to-head where something’s like, Well, listen. you take a bite, Gwynedd. you’re like, whoa, this is so bad. If you tasted it yeah in a vacuum, it would be impossible to get it into your mouth because everything would be coming outta’ you. Yeah. Ugh. Eyeballs and your intestines would go right out your butthole. You’re right. I don’t know why I picked up Yeah. this other pork rind. I kind of don’t want to eat it. So your body would try to fill the entire space. If you try to eat in a vacuum, if you can get to the point where you’re trying to eat, mean, first of all, you die pretty quickly because this has happened to people. There’s actually been- Really? There’s been people who got into vacuum chambers and it turned on and it’s real bad. What does it do to you? Um. What he said? You explode. Wait it means you explode? Your butthole explodes. Mm-hmm. Lots of bad things happen. That’s how Fart Boy was created. What? That’s how Fart Boy was created. Fart boy. Yeah, that’s the origin story of Fart Boy. Fart Boy. Stuck in a vacuum. Okay. You don’t want to do it. Impervious to- I will keep, yeah, I will keep that in mind. We won’t do any taste test in a vacuum. Vacuums, it’s Fart Boy. Okay, so next this is- Who are we gonna’ send into this vacuum chamber? It is- To rescue the documents. It is, I, Fart Boy. Because it can’t be something living in the vacuum here. Okay. Okay. So we got some What have we done here? This is, no, it’s actually dairy-free Greek yogurt. Oh, can you pass a spoon? I can. We recently did a taste- You get a spoon! Of. Let’s start. Nope. Nope. Gwynedd. Oh. We have to, we have to eat the same one at the same time. I already messed up. But you- Look now I’m gonna’ Eat that off of there and just ignore it. This smells bad. Yeah, take a deep breath. You’re in our world now. If there’s worse yogurt than this, between these three, I’m gonna’ be very surprised. Oh my god, it’s so gross. Okay, if it gets worse than this, I just feel for you. Oh my god. You love it, right? No, there’s something. A little bit. At first I’m like, come on, you’re being too hard on this. Okay. But then, hold on, before you go there. I’m still talking about it. I’m so sorry. He’s commenting on this, right now. Gwynedd. It’s important. Let’s reset you and I. Okay. Have a pork rind. I have control issues. Okay. My issue is I want to control you. I’m going to just, Okay. sit back. What, how do you interact with being controlled? Let you run the show. I’m actually really amenable to it. I think this could work out. All right, see. See, look at us. Just, hey, just follow my lead. Okay. I was saying. Is that why you put her in the middle? Reset. Yeah. So I could put the press on her. Oh, it was a control thing. Okay. I didn’t realize that. I do think there’s something psychological about putting you in the middle, is that we we’re really trying to, we’re really going at you today. Rhett’s trying- We’re? Well- I don’t ever go after anybody. I definitely am. Rhett’s trying to control you into turning against my opinion. I don’t control anybody. Okay. Rhett’s belittling my opinion and he’s trying to bring you along for the ride. I do think this has changed the dynamic. I just want you. I’m not belittling your opinion. I’m noticing a pattern that you like bad things. As I was saying, I thought this was okay, and then I started to taste it. Yeah. And it was like, there was some sort of, it’s like somebody ground up pills and put- Mm-hmm. in it. I don’t know what they were thinking. How did this one, this is like Fart Boy getting to the voicemail is like this yogurt getting out into the world. Are they trying to sneak some sort of like, treatment into this? I don’t know. Is this what you’ve been doing to me? Eat it, Link. It’s coconut milk, which is not usually that bad. Oh, that’s what it is. That’s bad. Yeah. I know we’ve had other co-. Gwynedd, what do you wanna’- Wait, this one might be. What do you wanna’ do now? This one is also coconut milk. We’re not onto that one yet. I’m just joking. Are we onto the No, you know what? Strawberry yet? Now you’re in charge. Gwynedd, let’s eat this second one, yeah. Which one do you want to do? I’m gonna’ try this one too. Okay. Oh my god. That’s nice. That’s got a tang to it. I think it’s even worse. Oh. Oh. It’s like. It’s way better than that, Gwynedd. Okay. But like. It’s like same as that- It has- But it has flavor. It had tang to it. I will be honest, I brought both of these because I just couldn’t remember which one we like, like really made us go like, blegh. The aftertaste os horrible. This taste like rotten cinnamon. Okay. Rotten cinnamon and then… But the aftertaste is the same. You’re just getting that. I’ve been drugged. You do land in the exactly the same place. Like initial reaction was like, this has got some fruit in it. It’s got some tang in it. Yeah. And then I landed in Badville. Tell us. I know, it just lives in your mouth. Do whatever you wanna’ do with this. Oh my god. Wait, I want you, no, I really want you to be in charge. Tell me everything about that. Okay. So this is another dairy-free yogurt. This is also made with coconut. So… Okay, all right. But let’s see what we think about it. But it must be better. It’s gotta be better. It just taste like yogurt. Isn’t that delicious? It’s like. It’s silky. It’s not- I know. It’s not trying too hard. And isn’t that one called Silk? Yeah. But this one’s not. So the one that’s called, the one that’s not called Silky is the silky one. False advertising. You can still tell that it’s not real yogurt. Mm-hmm. But it doesn’t have a crazy aftertaste. I think it tastes coconut-y, but in a good way. And this just tastes like- It tastes like coconut milk. Or something. If you don’t like coconut milk, you still won’t like that. Yeah. But tastes like the yogurt version of coconut milk. Vanilla chamomile. That’s a fun flavor. That’s so fun. I know. I don’t… It seems like it would be really comforting. Mm-hmm. Are you comforted? I like that. I am. You know what? Bottoms up. Good. This is a little paper-based cup, waste isn’t cool, let’s all go plastic neutral. I mean. Now as you taste all these things, do you, like, I know we end up having this conversation quite a bit on the show when we’re tasting something and we try to imagine how it got into the world, and like- I know. There’s a company, like there’s a company. Silk. Yes. Right, right. That makes a lot of good products. Proud member of the Dannon family. Oh. Danone. But not… Dannon. But it’s D A N O N E. Yeah, weird. Oh. Which is not like Dannon, D A N N O N. Oh. They are in Broomfield, Colorado. Right? So. Beautiful Broomfield. So I’m just saying like, the people of Broomfield, Betcha’ they don’t sell any brooms. Colorado, like, they work at this place, right? Like, I mean there’s testing it. Like they’re actually tasting it. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. But essentially a room of people is tasting this. Yeah. And then being like, put it on the shelves. Yep. And then it’s, You’re saying And then people are buying it. they should hire us instead? It just must be that some people like it. Somebody likes it out there. I’d hire those guys, but they just can’t seem to get along. That’s the same company, by the way. Dannon and Danone. Danon-ay. Also own Activa. Activia. What is it? Act- Activia. Activia. Activia. I’m sorry, Jamie Lee. Jamie Lee Curtis. Why is it so similar, but so different? JLC. All right, so we’re going, we’re giving a big, big endorsement to the Cocojune. Yeah, that’s good stuff. Right? But I agree, Very good. like with the Silk, it’s just like, how, like so many people tasted this and were like, yeah. I mean, people have different tastes. Yeah, bag it up. I’m gonna’ tease, some tots. But we’re gonna’ go in with cheese first. Ooo. And we just wanna’ remind you to, you know, visit Sporked You can learn what you should buy. Yeah. And in this case, what you shouldn’t buy. And if you don’t want to go to a website, let the website come to you. Sign up for the Sporked newsletter. Oh. Yeah. You get the food rankings, product reviews. It gives you a nice gentle prod to try something new next time you go to the grocery store. Free of charge, sporked.com. Get a a gentle prodding. Get a gentle prodding. It’s Sporked, Sporked does sound like a prodding. Yeah. You know, I got Sporked last night. Yep. That’s what- It’s gonna’ be a great weekend. I’m gonna’ be honest. I can already smell- The one you don’t like? one of these? What is that? This is Nuts for Cheese. She can do anything. It’s un-brie-lievable. Why are they talking Okay. about this cheese like it’s a woman. What do you think? She can do anything. Luscious, mild and creamy. This personal Oh, no. I didn’t even notice that. wedge shines alone or as the better half of sweet and savory recipes alike. Why you gotta make the cheese a woman? It’s very weird. There’s also a woman on the package though, right? What about man cheese? Margaret. No. I want man cheese. No, you don’t. No. You don’t. No one wants man cheese. Now this, the way that it cuts and flops. I got, here, I cut you a little bit. You want it? Oh, thank you. Is it un-brie-lievable? It kind of tastes like building material. I know. Why? Oh my god. It’s way sour. It tastes like caulk. It doesn’t taste Ah. like brie. And I don’t like, I may like man cheese, but I don’t like caulk. Wow. Nice. I think my eyes are kind of like- Did you just clap for my joke? Yeah. I genuinely enjoyed it. Thank you, Gwynedd. Yeah. Oh my god. This stuff. You’re going… Look, I’m going back. It’s like yogurt. It’s really weird. The bad yogurt. This has got a lot of oil in it. My god. Oh my gosh. What’s wrong? All right. It tastes like cheese made outta’ human breast milk. And… Because I’ve had breast milk on this show. Oh my god. Give it a yank. You got a little over on your mustache. Give it a little yank. A little human breast milk. Oh . So this has to be good. No, her the cheese. Follow Your Heart, since 1970. Smoked Gouda, dairy-free, Oh yeah. lactose-free, soy-free slices. Mmm. I mean. Nice smokey flavor. Mm. Huge diff. Still not real cheese. Mm-hmm. But compared to that. Yeah. So this was for our vegan cheese taste test. I like it a lot. Mm-hmm. Man. It’s good. Good stuff. I might like it better than Gouda. See. You like fake Gouda better than real Gouda? It’s very like smooth and like. Yeah, it’s good. Yeah. Da. That would be good on a grilled cheese sandwich, right? It looks like it would melt very well. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But these folks, man. There’s no reviews on the package though, so we gotta go with our own opinions. Yeah. It is perishable. And this one’s not weirdly gendered, so. Well, I think one of the things that happens, you got Margaret here, who’s the, who’s a chef and founder and CEO. No, I’m sorry, Margaret. Listen, I appreciate what Margaret is doing for this company. And I will acknowledge that when you go vegan, your palate changes, right? Maybe, probably. Yeah. And so maybe if you’ve got like this adjusted palate where you’re eating vegan stuff all the time. Yeah. Mm-hmm. This somehow becomes good. That’s good point. Yeah, I think that’s true. I think that’s definitely true. If you have not had Brie in years, then… It’s like going camping, you know? Maybe, yeah. When you ha- everything tastes good while camping. Exactly. It’s like, vegans are like constantly camping. You’re in an isolated circle. It’s just like camping their way through life. Yes, exactly. Vegan goggles. That’s what they call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. All right. So this is- We’re on the same page with that one. a strong winner. Follow Your Heart. All right. Finally. Ooo. Thank you. Would you like a beverage? That is essential. Based on the pack. Okay, so this goes with that. I think this one could be a little bit of a- Ho ho ho. This might be a little bit of a toss up. I don’t know. We’ll see. We got zucchini tots from Green Giant. Yes. Green Giant’s done a lot of good things. And a cauliflower hash brown from Strong Roots. Yes. I used to see the commercial with the Green Giant and think maybe I could be him when I grew up. You’re quite tall. You could be him. You know. But I think he was always a cartoon. Did you, do you ever consider him for Halloween? No, but maybe I should do that. It’s coming up. You gotta’ get a haircut. That’s a, I could wear a ball cap and then put leaves on top. Mm-hmm. His hair is leaves? Mm-hmm. Can’t see from here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His hair is leaves. Yeah, it’s beautiful. He doesn’t have a beard. He’s kind of like the Hulk, but more proportionate. Yeah. He’s just a- He’s a svelte guy. He’s a proportionate Hulk. He’s very, very tall. He’s hot. He’s like a manscaped Hulk. You know. I think this is- If the Hulk needed a stylist, he would go to the Jolly Green Giant. You know what I’m saying? These ripped purple pants just aren’t doing it for you, sir. Come on, let me give you a leaf ensemble. That looks bad. You feel like that? Your face makes it seem like it’s bad. Okay. I know. I’m not good at hiding my emotions. What I’ll say is that going into this, you know you’re getting zucchini tots. You know what I’m saying? The bar is so low going into this bite. Yeah. But it’s pizza flavored. Mm-hmm. That’s not really coming. Is that fun? It is. Weird. I mean, on a scale of one to tater tot, it’s a one. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Does it have, is it just like seasoning or does it have like cheese or something? There’s like… There’s goop inside. There’s goop in there, yeah. Oh there is goop? Yeah. Huh. There’s like marinara goop. Yeah. And visible zucchini plops. There’s reduced iron. Zucchini, plops. Yeah. Okay. So. If you fried it hard enough and if it was crunchy. If it was really, really hot and yeah, it was hard. Okay. Okay. That’s a good attitude. You know, I just realized what the problem is here. It’s just that our ensembles clash. Oh. Yeah, you should have never done that. You know, it’s this. We shouldn’t put each other right next to it. We should’ve planned ahead. This is what’s not working. That’s why we’re not getting along today, because we’re not- Are we not getting along today? I think- No, you took red side too much. Hurt my feelings. We’re getting along great. You didn’t let control you completely. Okay. And you shouldn’t by the way. From now on. But I’m just saying because you didn’t. No, I’ll, yeah, I’ll submit from now on. No, don’t. Oh. That’s what I’m saying. Don’t, you don’t need to do that. You know, we hired you to be you. Okay. And that’s the best thing you can do. But we should plan our outfits in advance from now. Yep. And you know what? We can alternate who’s in charge. Okay. I think that sounds like a good plan. So here’s my thought on this matter. I like these. Okay. I like them too. I think they’re better when they’re like cooked a little bit more. No- If it was straight out the fire. No shade to whoever cooked them. Thy need to be a little crispier. There’s no potato in this? Right? But that’s crazy that, that’s not potato. I really like the way you delivered that no shade line. ‘ Cause like, you laughed, you had a smile and like, it felt like, okay, like, yeah, no shade. But like really what you were saying is like- Big shade? They really could’ve been cooked longer. Yeah, you put that person under a tree. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. An umbrella was on top of that tree. Don’t apologize. You, I really like the way that you did it. Yeah. Thank you, Stevie. But let me tell you. With some sauce on ’em. This, even when not prepared to your liking. Yes. It’s, I wouldn’t know that it wasn’t potato. Man, what is this place? I really freaked out about these because I think they are- So this was a taste test of like potato alternatives is what we called it. So it was like broccoli tots and cauliflower tots and zucchini tots. This is wild. And then, these are cauliflower hash browns, hash browns. That’s crazy. And I think that they are so convincingly potato-like. I’ve never had anything like it. Listen, you know what, let’s make somebody’s day. All right. This place is called Strong Roots. They are in New York, They did New York, on 23rd Street. And they have an email address. And that email address backofpack@strongroots.com. Hmm. And how, whatever you wanna’ send them, just make it good. Back of pack. Back of pack. Mm-hmm. Back of pack- @strongroots.com. @strongroots.com. I think, I mean, I don’t want you to lie and just say that you just tasted these, that they’re incredible and they changed your life. But I mean, it’s only gonna’ make that feel good if you did. You know, you could just say, I just watched something on a show on the internet and some people that I watched really like these. No, no, no. Mention us specifically. I mean, you can say whatever you want to, but just, you know, make somebody’s day. I love that idea. Or write the potato board and make them feel stupid. I know, can you email Green Giant? We give those to my little girl. We feed those to my baby. These? Yeah, we do. Look at that. They’re great. You can add that to your email. Don’t hit send yet. Carney who used to work at Hotdog on a stick, recently had a daughter and is now feeding the daughter exclusively Strong Roots cauliflower Cauliflower… hash browns. She’s on 100% hash brown diet. You could say that in your email. I mean, there’s, you can say anything you want to really. We’re not gonna’ control your email. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like. Especially not me. Not Link. Link’ not gonna’ tell you what to say in your email. Get the Sporked newsletter delivered to your inbox every other week so you can be up to date on all the best things they’re tasting. Subscribe at sporked.com.