Welcome to Good Mythical More. All right, it’s time for the Defend Yourself Challenge. Stevie’s gonna give us a scenario and then we’re gonna have 15 seconds to find something that we can get and get back to the desk with, to defend ourselves with from that scenario and defend why we think that our defense is better. Well, this worked out. Speaking of defense, we’re gonna donate $1,000 to the National Immigration Law Center to aid in their mission to defend and advance the rights and opportunities of low income immigrants and their family members. N I L C engages in policy analysis, litigation, education and advocacy to achieve their goals. Please join us in giving at nilc.org/donate. N I L C. Thank you for being your Mythical Best and joining us in donating. Oh gosh, alright Stevie. We’re gonna be doing some running around. We only have 15 seconds, right? Yeah. You explained that really well. Just like succinctly, every once in a while. Straightforward. Yeah. Sometimes I listen when people tell me what I’m doing. Yeah, yeah Sometimes I don’t. Um, okay yes. Are you ready for your first scenario? Yeah. Chase forgot to lock the mosquito cage. And now you’re being chased by an angry swarm of mosquitoes. Go! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. What do we have? What do we have? That’s not a good spot. That’s not a good. Five seconds. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh, that’s good dude. Oh, what about this? What about this? What about this? Let me tell you something I just learned. Okay. Verbally defend yourselves Hey do I get a bass line in More? Well, before I defend myself, can I just say How big are the mosquitoes? What? This blanket is stapled You tried to pull it off? Yeah, the blanket is stapled to- Did you know that? This is all fake! I didn’t know that. It’s all fake! It’s stapled? This isn’t woods. It’s not even woods, man. Did you know this wasn’t woods? This is wood though. But this is not woods. It’s stapled So disappointing. Just so you know this right here on me this wet spot. Let me explain myself. When I was playing around with that cookie, my hands got dirty, right? My hands got dirty. Yeah. Mad Dog said, “Oh, I’ve got some orange gritty soap.” You know the good soap that they have at the art department? Yeah. He brought it over here. He was like, “It’ll do the trick.” And it did. It got most of the food coloring, ’cause there was black food coloring. But you peed your pants in the process? I got my hair tie wet. And then while we were waiting just a second ago I put my hand in my lap and this is where my hand goes. Right there. Look, I can put it here. See? I can put it here. Put it here. I can put it here. Well I can put it here I can put it here. Put it here. Put it here. You know what else could have happened? Your wiener could have leaked pee. Hey, hey, hey! Because you thought you- Hey! but you weren’t- Hey! because when you were done shaking it. So what I would You didn’t shake it enough Stevie, when those mosquitoes came out How big are the mosquitoes? They’re just normal mosquitoes. Well, they’re gonna go through those holes. But there’s no holes in this. I’ll clip a number of ’em. I’ll be, listen, mosquitoes gonna get caught up in that. That’s pretty good but Yeah, you know, racket sports is a great way to keep from getting old. I saw this on a Instagram reel. Is that why old people play it? Look, they’re all old Racket, so hand eye coordination plus quick decision making is best combined in racket sports. And apparently ping pong is better than pickle ball because the decisions are happening even faster. And what that does is it grows the rear part of your brain which is like 10% of your brain. And that keeps you from getting dementia. So Link, you should start playing ping pong. Yeah, but then you’re a ping pong player. So it like- Yeah, well, you gotta make some sacrifices. Okay. You both survive. I’ve decided. Oh, thank you. So I don’t have to pick. All of this rain in LA gets really crazy and it turns into acid rain, sure, right as you’re doing your daily parking lot yoga. Oh, not the parking lot pickle. No, we didn’t include that. Just the yoga and time starts now. I should have been listening. It’s acid rain Acid rain, Rhett just said acid rain. Acid rain, acid rain. That fell over Oh gosh. Okay, Rhett, come on over. Come back over to your seat So you’re gonna use cardboard, cardboard version of yourself. Yeah, that’s that’s disturbing. That’s worse. I’m experiencing changes. I’m experiencing changes. I’m gonna protect myself from myself. Put that on a t-shirt, man. I’m experiencing changes. That’s a good idea Oh, I almost balanced it perfectly. So you’re just gonna cover yourself from acid rain Acid rain passes With paper. I am gonna use the “got lunch” tote. Where’s that from? On set? This has been on set for years. And this is thick. This is so much thicker I think that was on the original set. Look at what’s in here. Toy chair $2 What is this? What? It’s a toy chair in here. You got a whole world in that cooler. Look at that. That’s a toy chair. And look, this isn’t just for me, Rhett. I also have a toy chair For you, my buddy Well look at us we can put our little chairs up Look at that toy chair That’s only $2? It says $2 on the back. Yeah $2 You can get a little toy chair. that’s that nice for $2? What the heck? There’s a freaking- Oh, I think you’re supposed to bust the chairs It’s a game This is a gavel. It’s a gavel that has my name on it. And I think that we’ve used this on the show before. Whoa. So? It only cost $2. Now only one of us has a chair. And look at this, here’s a vase That cost $19. $19. Don’t bust that. Don’t bust it. Don’t bust it. Okay. What about this one? No don’t bust that. This one costs $6. What is this from? I am in shock right now, somehow. That you just did that. Both of those chairs could have gone to the Smithsonian. I think you’re in chakras. And now we’re gonna send the Smithsonian one chair and one broken chair. And they’re gonna just reject us. Come on Rhett Come on man, bust that. I’m not gonna bust it, I’m not stupid man Come on man, gimme the mallet. No, I’m not done. Gimme the mallet. It’s my mallet, it has my name on it I don’t care. Anyway, Before you decide who survives, Stevie. Yeah. I was watching the smartest man on the internet. Our good friend Hank Green. And he said that acid rain is not like dangerous in terms of like, acid rain falling on you can’t really hurt you. It’s basically like, it affects the ecology but it’s not like, “Oh, acid rain. I’m melting.” So technically we could just sit here and chill. Yeah. But having a cooler in your head wouldn’t hurt. Well, I mean, you both survive. But I am, somehow, upset about that little chair. It was so cute. It was really cute. I think maybe that’s it. Think of the person who spent the time to put that together. I’m gonna put it back in here No, you’re not Just lemme put it back in the cooler. There’s still the other chair. There’s the other chair, Rhett Here’s part of it. Here’s part of it. Here’s part of the chair. I was gonna have so much fun with those little chairs later. Those chairs have been there for years and we didn’t know about it. Yeah, now that we do, they don’t exist anymore. Yep, it’s gone. Okay, I’ll take these home. Now we got the boxes that the chairs came in. How was that? How was that ever in there? I think I might have to break this. No, no, no. Something about that was a little bit sad, wasn’t it? I don’t know how that went in there. Gratuitous murder of doll chairs. I don’t know how it went in there. Okay. I don’t know how it went in. There it goes. The Rock is a guest on the show. Yeah. Right. And That’s funny. And gets offended by a joke Link says, okay, that’s more likely. And is ready to take it out on both of you. Time starts now. Oh gosh. The sword is gone. The sword is gone. Yeah, why is the sword gone? well, it’s gone for everyone’s safety That’s-what a coincidence. So Link, you have nothing? I got a little something. What’d you get in them pants? Hey Mr. Rock, I didn’t mean what I said and I got a little surprise for you. What? I hope that’s not too risque for YouTube. It’s not, Dad. What? How’s that going to help? This is for you Mr. Rock. I’m so sorry for offending you. You’re the, this is the- He’s gonna kill you now. The best, He’s gonna kill you before you even get that outta your pants. He’s listening to me. It’s a combination of sweet talk and a trophy and a little bit of intrigue. What’s in the pants? I’m gonna distract him with a sick bass line. Yeah. See he’ll be so distracted. No, no. I think you both die. What?! You both die in this round. It’s The Rock. Right as you’re sitting to do your business. Okay, then I’m gonna tell you, for some reason this scares me. A venomous snake springs out of the set toilet. You mean the stage toilet. The stage toilet. I, you know, this could happen. This could happen. Yep. Things come out of the toilet And it’s venomous. And it’s venomous. That’s it? It’s a venomous snake? That’s it, yeah. Okay. Go. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Okay. Oh, so quick. Okay. That’s wow, man. That’s scary. That’s scary. It’s the chicken feet sticks that, you know when we used these, remember that? I think those are turkey legs. That’s a big chicken if it’s a chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So these could, these talons could rip a snake to shreds. Cause a Turkey, I think you’re gonna live because a Turkey can really do some damage to a snake. There’s quite a distance here. Yeah, yeah, yeah I have a slightly different strategy. Yeah what’s your strategy? You have a bell. When the snake pops up, I’m like, “Time’s up.” You know what I’m saying? And he gets confused. He’s like, “For what?” I didn’t know when the time started. What do you mean? I ran outta time. Yep. Time’s up. That’s it. And he goes, okay. And he goes back down the toilet. Yep, yep, yep, you won that one. Right? I’m putting this stuff back as we go because Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s smart. It makes me feel better. Smart, smart, yeah. I mean, did you even know that cooler was on the set? I mean I didn’t The stuff we’re learning It’s just been under there with little chairs in it? Man, those little chairs. There used to be little chairs inside that thing. Well Two little chairs. The makings of a chair are still in there Man, that makes me sad. And what I like to do when I get sad is listening to Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. It will cheer you up That’s Links podcast or Link’s Dad’s podcast that he lets Link be a part of Yeah. Come for the jokes, stay for the father son connection. It’s a good time. Every Thursday, let’s see, Let’s see. I recommend watching it on YouTube ’cause you get to see me see my dad, and you get to see my dad. And that’s important. Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Show it some love. Give it a chance. It’s for you. Give it a chance. I like the idea that like, in order to avoid being bitten by a venomous snake, you have to confuse it and/or tell a clever joke or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, every time you’re out hiking you’re like, “Oh boy, I got one in my back pocket. I’m gonna ring this bell when I see a snake.” Listen, I’m telling you, when it comes to dangerous animals confusion is your friend. Really, when it comes to any sort of like violent, potentially violent situation all of a sudden like boom street fight and you know you’re gonna lose. The thing you have to do, versus trying to play the other dude’s game, is you gotta do something that’s never been done before. Totally inexplicable. You have to, that’s your X factor. You have to create confusion. That’s your only chance if you’re like, “Yeah, let’s go toe to toe,” it’s over. That’s how you’ve gotten out of all the street fights you’ve been in? Yeah yeah yeah, well I carry a timer with me. And every time somebody comes up, come on me, like “Time out” or “Time’s up.” Time’s up Time’s up, not time out. ‘Cause then you gotta start again. Time out! Time out, time out! Yeah, that’ll get you punched. But time’s up they’re like Yeah, you can’t call time. Okay. I mean, these guys are used to being in the ring. You know, they hear that bell. They’re like, “Okay, well where’s my mouthpiece?” You know? Right. I watch a lot of people, hikers escaping like Mountain lions Mountain lion attacks, bear attacks. And usually they’re filming while they’re doing it, which is in and of itself A bold move. Just a wild thing to think about. It’s like, “Oh, I’m about to die and I’m gonna film it.” And when they do film it these people are cool as cucumbers. They’re talking, they talk to the animal, you know you wanna let the an- I guess know that you see it. But they say things like, “Okay, I’m here and I’m walking backwards, buddy.” “Okay, kitty, you stay over there.” They’re doing commentary on the video A lot of them do that. And also sending the message that, “Hey, if you kill me, it’s gonna be on the internet, so think about that for a second.” Think that is part of it? Hey, if I saw a mountain lion face to face, I would- I could not pull out a phone and start filming. I mean. Wish you could turn around and film yourself though. Hey, can we have one last scenario? Yeah. This is your, this is the biggest nemesis yet and, and we’ve already talked about The Rock so, the acid rain passed, but the regular rain has brought hippos. Oh no. Hippos eat people As it tends to do Hippos are deadly And Morgan locked you in the studio with one by accident. Morgan locked us? Ready? We’re locked in the studio Go! with a hippo? So what are you gonna do, outsmart the hippo? You wouldn’t harm an old man like me. You wouldn’t, surely. Surely you wouldn’t harm an old man like me. I love how you assume all of these animals speak English. Surely you wouldn’t do that. That ain’t working dude. Yeah. Stevie, is this working? It’s doing something. Where were those? What were those on? They just existed? Listen. Where were those? Don’t break these. Where were they? There’s little glasses back there. I didn’t know that. Where? Underneath the elephant. Really? Who knew about these? I didn’t know about those. Morgan knew about it. Morgan’s the only one I knew about ’em Oh, Twinkie knew about ’em? I knew about all of ’em. Because you put it in the VR. Yes, Zack had to completely recreate everything. Were these in the recreation? Yeah. Were the little chairs in the VR? I didn’t, no, not inside it In the VR at Mythicon you could go and you could manipulate stuff. Could you pick up that cooler? Yeah. And could you open the cooler? And see the little chairs? Couldn’t open the cooler. I didn’t open it What are you going to do? Float Away? Uhhh, out-float the Hippo. Okay. Check out Dispatches from Myrtle Beach, the podcast where my dad updates me on his life and the jokes that are sent to him every week.