Welcome to Good Mythical More. You think you know every state in the U.S. and you think you know the capital? Yeah. Well, we do. Yeah, we definitely do. Watch us school you. School you. But first, let’s check our voicemail. Hi, yeah. Rhett and Link, I was wondering if you could hook me up with Fart Boy. This is Fart Girl. I didn’t know if it was really her, They got us. but I think it was really her. Boy. I was, man. I think that was really Fart Girl. I was all the way on board. All the way, hook, line, and sinker. Took a walk down the hallway, took a right, took a left, opened the door. Fart Girl got me every time. That was pretty good. Yeah. Bring in the map! Now, so we’re gonna use this little, little, little thingy here, and we are going to… If you were asking us the 100 counties in North Carolina and gave us a blank map of North Carolina, well, we were trained to do that, that exact thing. Let’s start with AK. The capital of AK is… It’s Fairbanks. It’s not Anchorage, is it? Is it Fairbanks? I think it’s Anchorage. It seems like it would be Anchorage. It’s way over here. But I think that Fairbanks is like where the capital’s at. I think everything that matters in Alaska is like in here. Fairbanks. Because this is too cold. Fairbanks. Hawaii? HI! Honolulu. Wait, you don’t wanna know when…? You want me to tell you after you guess? Is it Fairbanks? No, I’ve never in my life heard of Fairbanks. It’s Anchorage. It’s Anchorage. No. Okay. It’s not either one of those. Juneau. Juneau! There you go. It’s Juneau. So that doesn’t count. We didn’t get that one. Hawaii is Honolulu. Is Honolulu. Here’s some Texas action. Is that…? Just let the voicemail pick it up again. That’s not me. That’s you. Is that me? And who is it? It’s my dad. Oh, don’t answer it. I’m not gonna answer it right now. Don’t answer. He’s not scheduled to be in this episode. The capital of Texas is Austin. It is. It’s not Dallas. Correct? Correct. Yeah, ’cause I’ve seen the capital city. The capital of Here we go. Oklahoma is Oklahoma. Is it Oklahoma City or Tulsa? Because we gotta be right about this. It’s… You gotta think you would be Oklahoma City, right? It’s Oklahoma City. Because it’s like, why would you call it Oklahoma City if it wasn’t. This is the city of Oklahoma. It’s Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City. Correct. California. We live here. We’re going over here. Sacramento is the capital. Yep. Then Nevada. Sacramato, as the GPS used to say when we first moved here, and that’s what we used. “Head on the 5 to Sacramato.” Really? Yeah. Nevada. Or is it Nevada? If it’s not Las Vegas… Is there, hold on. Is there another city in Nevada? This one’s so hard. That is not where Las Vegas is, dude. Reno. It’s not Reno, either. It’s so hard. I don’t even know. No, it’s.. City. No, that’s in Vegas. Clark? Did you say Clark? Clarkson. Close. Banchorage. Clarksville. Where’d you get that from? Just from your memory? Clark County, which is a giant county. Clark… No, it’s Carson City. Oh. Carson City. Carson City, Nevada. Let’s just keep going up the coast here. We’ve got Oregon here. And that’s gotta be, if it’s not Portland, then who are we, right? Who are we? It is Portland. Portland? No. It is not Portland. Oh, oh, oh. Seattle, Oregon. No, no, no, no. Where is the…? Ooh, it’s got like a funny name, doesn’t it? Seattle, Washington. Or is it Tacoma, Washington? That’s not Seattle. No, Oregon is Bend. No. Hold on. We know this. It’s like… I think it’s Foregon, Oregon. It’s where the university is, isn’t it? Shasta. Oregon, Oregon, Oregon. There’s Portland, Oregon, and then there’s another city in Oregon. This is not a city you would go to, I don’t believe. Yes! Jet lag, Oregon. Salem. Oh, Salem. Did not know about Salem. You could’ve given me a long time. And then Washington, this is inland. This is not, this is Tacoma. No. They don’t put… Trucks. Did you already say it wasn’t Seattle? Yeah. I know it’s not Seattle. Okay. Washington. Why Washington? Washington. We gotta go up there more. We don’t know anything about it. We don’t know anything about these states up here. I’ve only been up here one time. Is it a woman’s name? Judy. I… could be. Heather. Judy, Washington. Yes. It’s Heather, Washington. What does it start with? O. We got seven states. Oregon, Washington. Omar. It’s Omar. Ottawa. Ottawashington. Oh, geez. I’m the capital of Washington. O-L… Oligarchy. Oleander. Oaf, oaf. Old, Old, Old Seattle. Old Seattle, Washington. Old Seattle. Washington. O-apostrophe. O-L-apostrophe, Seattle. I think it’s O-O. Ook. No, she said O-L. O-L-Y… Oly, Oly, Olympius! Olympian. Olympian. Olympus. Olympus. Olympian. Olympiad. Olympus. Olympia. Olympus. Olympia. Olympia. There’s so many. Listen, I’m so sorry, people of Washington. I am so sorry. I’m so sorry to the Pacific Northwest right now, because we spent too much time. Idaho. Boise! Correct. And then you’ve got Montana. Where does…? Missoula. Is not the capital. This could be a woman’s name. Judy. Heather. Heather Montana? There’s another big city. Mary Montana. There’s a big city in Montana. Montana. I don’t think there’s any cities in Montana. Well, Missoula is pretty big. And it’s not big. It’s like small. It’s like Fuquay. Danver? Danver. It’s a woman’s name in Montana? Dana. Starts with an H. Heidi. Helena. Helena. Helena. Helena, Montana. Yeah. Helena. Is it Helena or Helena? Helena. Helena, Montana. And we’ve got North Dakota, South Dakota. South Dakota is Bismarck. Correct? No. Oh. North Dakota’s Bismarck. North Dakota’s Bismarck. Correct. South Dakota is… Ooh, this is… Never heard of this in my life. Is it a Spring? It’s a name of a French man. Pierre. Napoleon? Yep. I’ve heard of that. It’s Pierre? Pierre is the capital of South Dakota? Yep. No one’s ever been there. No one’s ever seen it. That’s nuts. What is this one? Okay, hold on. This is when it gets difficult. So this is… Because we know this is Arizona. New Mexico. And we know this is New Mexico. We know this is Utah, and we know this is Colorado. And we know those four. So we know this is Denver. And this is Wyoming? And we know this is Salt Lake City, Utah. This is Wyoming. That’s Wyoming. Cheyenne. Yeah. Boom! You said Denver, Colorado. Yes. Yep. You said Salt Lake City. Yes. Salt Lake City. And then, is it Phoenix or is it…? It’s Phoenix. Yeah. It’s Phoenix and then New Mexico. New Mexico… Can I, the commentary back here… What is New Mexico? Albuquerque! Yeah. Albuquerque. No. It’s not Albuquerque? No. Trinidad. What does it start with? It’s a city you know. Is it a verb? No. It’s a city we know? Yeah. Gold Strike. Think of the cities you know in New Mexico. I drove through New Mexico like a couple years ago, and I… You would’ve driven through this part. Like you probably know two cities in New Mexico, and it’s one of them. Albuquerque and New Mexico City. Something, New Mexico. New Jack City. New Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. I’m sure I know. It’s like a cool town. Oh. Yeah. Pueblo. Pablo Publo. It’s where… It’s like that. It’s where the cool stuff happens. Like, “Oh.” There’s a vortex there. Yeah, yeah. It’s a vortex. You’ve been there! No, I’ve been to Sedona, which is in Arizona. But yeah, there’s a vortex there. It’s a two-syllable… It starts with an S. Yeah. It’s like… Sexy, New Mexy. Sarah. Saskatchewan. S-A-… Salad, Salad, New Mexico. New Mexico. Salad. Here it is. Saint Bernard. Sack, Sack, Sack. He’s a big Christmas character. Santa… New Mexico! Santa… Santa Domingo. Santa… What?! Santa Fe? Yes! Santa Fe. I apologize. Santa Fe’s beautiful. Santa Fe. And then over Oklahoma we got Missouri. No. No, that’s not Missouri, bro. Is this Missouri? No, this is Arkansas. This is Arkansas. This is Louisiana. Yeah. This is Mississippi. This is Alabama. Don’t go that way. Okay. Go up here. What is this? North Dakota, South Dakota… This is Illinois. I know, but… This is Ohio. This is Minnesota. No. This is Minnesota. This is Ohio. This is Michigan. No. This is Ohio. I knew that. I knew. I now know that. This is Michigan. This is Idaho. No it’s not. No. Where is Idaho? Idaho is over here. There’s Idaho. What are you talking about? Ohio and Idaho are always confusing. Calm down. Don’t tell me to calm down. Michigan. Don’t go back here. Let stay in the middle. But this is how we rule things out. What is this? Minnesota? Minnesota. And then, what is this? Oh. Oh. Are you sure that’s not just a… This is the other one. Minnesota, Michigan, and…. I think that’s just a big lake. I don’t think that’s anything. Yeah, this is… That’s nothing. That’s not a state. That’s not a state. Cheese. Cheese. Wisconsin. Yeah. Wisconsin I thought was a big lake for a second. And what is this? This is the lake. That’s the big lake. So that means we’ve basically, over here, we’ve got Missouri. Yeah. Kansas. Yeah. Yeah, Kansas. Topeka. Yeah. Topicka. Okay. So what is this? Just hold on. Nebraska. Nebraska Correct. Nebraska right here. And then we’ve already got Wyoming, Iowa. Iowa. Hold on. What’s Nebraska? Nebraska… Corn Town. That’s Iowa. Right? Iowa. Because we’ve got ’em all now. Okay. What is Iowa? That? It’s IA. IW. No, it’s not IA. It is IA, ’cause IN is Indiana. Indiana! Indiana right here. Tennessee. No. We know these. Kentucky. Kentucky. Kentucky. We know the South. Okay. This is gonna be trouble. Just save that for a second. What is Nebraska? Nebraska… Lincoln. Lincoln Lincoln! Yep. Yeah. Yeah! Lincoln! Minnesota is… Duluth. No. St. Paul. Minneapolis. Minneapolis. St. Paul. St. Paul. St. Paul. St. Paul. Iowa. Name a city in Iowa. Iowa City. Sioux City. We’ve been there. Sioux City, Iowa, huh? No. That’s not it’s capital, though. It’s a city though. Sioux City, Iowa. Iowa, Iowa, Iowa. Is this a town we’ve heard of? Yeah. Fertilizer Deposit, Iowa. In this context, I would say, is the last time I heard of it. Corn. It’s two words. The first word starts with a D. Popcorn, Iowa. Des Moines. Yeah. Boom! We’re on fire, Link. Missouri is St. Louis. No. Kansas City. No, but the second word is city. Kenneth, commentary. My God! Missouri City, Missouri. MO. Missouri City. No. It’s a city? Purty City? Sky City. It starts with a J. Jefferson City. There you go. Jefferson City, Missouri is a capital? I guess so. Arkansas, Little Rock. Louisiana, Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge. Mississippi. Pascagoula. Jackson. Jackson. Oh, I didn’t know that. Alabama. Birmingham. Mobile. Nope. Birmingham. Nope. Alabama City. Come on. Alabama. Starts with an M. Oh, Moncure. Ooh. You got the first part of it right. I know, it was… Monroe. No. Monmon. Mon… It’s Mont- Montclair. No. Mont…gomery! Yep. Montgomery. Montgomery, Alabama. Midnight in Montgomery. Georgia is Atlanta. We know that. ATL. South Carolina Columbia. is Columbia. North Carolina is Raleigh. North Carolina is Raleigh. Tennessee is Nashville. No, Knoxville. Nashville. It’s Nashville? Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Kentucky is Lexington. No. It’s right there, Rhett. Kentucky. Louisville. No. What? Kentucky. It’s not Louisville. It’s not Lex… Lexington? No. Is it Fried Chicken? Starts with an F. Fairfield. Fart. Fart Girl. Fart Oven. First part of it is a man’s name. Fred. Close. Frank. Frank. Frankfort. Yep. Frankfort? Really? Y’all need a new capital. Y’all need to move it to a town somebody’s heard of. Frankfort? I’ve never heard of that. Chicago. Illinois is Chicago. No. No, it’s… Where was Lincoln born? That’s where it is. I’ve been here. Illinois. That’s where Lincoln was born. Log City. Illinois. This season. Fall. Springfield. Springfield. Yeah. Springfield. Wisconsin. Wisconsin. Madison. Madison. Yep. That’s a beautiful town. Michigan. Michigan is… Detroit. No. Nope. It’s Lansing. Yep. Whoa. Hey, that’s a big word right there. Knowing ’bout Lansing. I’m proud of you. Idaho. That’s not Idaho. That’s Indiana. So that would be IN. And that would be Indianapolis. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Indy. And then Ohio is Dayton. No. No. It’s Cincinnati. No. It’s… Ohio. Ohio. Cincinnati, Cleveland. No. It starts with a C. And it’s another one that you know. Cleveland, Cincinnati. Coochie coo. Coochie, Ohio. Crochet. Cowboy. Crow. Cowboy, Ohio. What did you say it starts with? Co- Colab. Co- Coco. Corpse, Ohio. C-O-L-… Cole. Cole. Cold Town. Collington. Collington, Indiana. I mean, Ohio. C-O-L? Yeah. Cold. Cold Purple. Cold cut, Ohio. Cold cuts. Colum- What? Columbia. Columbus. Columbus. Columbus. I’m sorry. We love the people of Ohio, by the way. I mean, Virginia is they make a great crowd. Richmond. Yep. West Virginia is Charleston. Yep. Uh huh. Pennsylvania is Where’s Pennsylvania? The big one. Pittsburgh. Nope. It is a “burg.” Philadelphia. No. It’s a “burg.” Fredericksburg. No. Why wouldn’t you make Philadelphia your capital? It’s got the bell. It’s a burg? Fredericksburg. No, I said that. Pittsburgh, Fredericksburg, Iceberg. Hamburg. Fergie. It’s a “burg?” It’s a “burg.” The first part of the burg, you have a lot of this. Machismoburg. Smartsburg. Funnyburg. Talentburg. Heightburg. Opinionburg. Hairburg. Uh! Harrisburg! Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes. Harrisburg. This is New York. And the capital of New York is not New York. It is… Albany. Yes. Yep. That’s correct. Okay, now we get real squirrely down here, because we’ve got… Washington, D.C. has no capital. Good. Good riddance. One of these is Maryland. Yeah, Maryland. What is Maryland? Baltimore. Maryland. Baltimore. What else is in Maryland, Holmes? Maryland. Naval Academy. Just move this right here. Let’s get it in the sweet spot. The Naval Academy? Belmont. No, what’s the name of the Naval Academy? It’s not Belmont. You know, Oliver went there. VMI. VMI, Maryland. Why did this get so close to me? Vermont Military Institute in Maryland. The first half is a woman’s name that starts with an A. Angel. Angela. Amy, Amanda. And rhymes with banana. Annasberg. Annapolis. Annapolis, Maryland. Yeah. First of all, I don’t know which one’s Maryland. And there’s one, there’s another one. Rhode Island? Rhode Island is that one. So Rhode Island is… Oh, it’s where the university is. There’s not a lot there. I spent the night there. It’s where Brown University is. It’s in… Is it a weird name? No, I can’t remember. I don’t know. There’s a hotel there, though. What do we do know? Bangor, Maine. Yeah, that’s good. No. It’s Portland? No. Okay. We’re out of towns. It’s a month. It’s a summer month. June, July, August. Augustown. Augusta. Yeah. Okay. Augusta. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, for Maine. Maine. Maine, Maine, Maine. Augusta? This is Massachusetts. And if it’s not Boston… It has to be. Yeah. Boston. Yeah, okay. Rhode Island. And then, what is that? I drove through all this. Connecticut. Yep. Connecticut. I’ve always kind of thought of Connecticut as a city and a state. Yeah. You know? Right. When you get up here, it’s just like, y’all are just kind of a city. What is…? Connecticut. “I’m going to Connecticut.” “Well, what city” “I’m going to…” What’s in Connecticut? There’s a smart, the Ivy League place. Yeah, there’s at least an Ivy League place. Again, I drove through there. They’ve got good pizza. It’s where Yale’s at, isn’t it? What’s the three letters? You know, the institute, but not VMI? What’s the institute? Carnegie Melligan? Melligan? Carnegie Melligan. Carnegie Mulligan. Carnegie Melon. I know. I know. Where do we go to ROFLCon? We went to it. Like, I don’t know. Our brains are bad. It’s been a long day. The place where all the smart people go, like the smartest school in the world. Right, right. What is that called? It’s three letters. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And one of ’em is an I. Yeah. Oh yeah. So we only need two letters. It’s an institute. Right. It’s also… It’s not the one. Well, the one I’m thinking of is definitely not in that state. BTI? Yeah, it’s not the right state, but I know what you’re talking about. What is that place? MIT. MIT. MIT. The I’s in the middle. Massachusetts. In Massachusetts. Massachusets. We already know that’s Boston. But Yale is in New Haven. New Haven. Connecticut. No. That is a city in Connecticut. It is the only city in Connecticut. If you don’t think with your head, you can think with your… Butt. Wienerberg. Buttville. If you don’t think with your head, you think with your butt? Buttville, home of Fart Boy and Fart Girl. May they live forever. If you don’t think with your head, you think with your little head. No, you do not. Brain versus your… Braun. Heart. Heart. Hartford. Hartford. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Hartford, Connecticut. Rhode Island. Oh, it’s just right there! I mean, I had donuts there. It’s got a Q in it. No, I had donuts there. It’s got an O in it, and they put a line through it. What does it start with for Rhode Island? P. P. Pah- Puh- Providence! Yeah. Yes! I had donuts in Providence. Spent the night there at a hotel. So we’re down to these two. Whoa. We also haven’t named these two states. I know. That’s the two I’m referring to. What are these called? The one closest to Maine we joked about forgetting about. New Hampshire. Yep. And New Hampshire’s capital is… Name a city in New Hampshire. It’s a type of grape. Concord. Yep. Concord. We missed one down here, just so you know. Who is this? What do you get, right after you get past Virginia? That’s Maryland. What’s snug against New York? I can’t really fully see. What’s snug against New York? I think this is Maryland. There’s one south of New York, and it’s… That’s Washington, D.C. And what is this one? When you think about New York, you think about… Oh, New Jersey. Yeah. That’s New Jersey. But then we’ve still missed one here. ‘Cause that’s Maryland, and then you drive through… Is Jersey City, New Jersey? The capital? It has an O in it. Newark. Newark. Newark, New Jersey? No? No. Atlantic City. No. This is like a prep school boy’s name. Tad. Close. Taft. Close. It starts with a T. Todd. Truett. T-R- Triangle. Trang. Tront. Trent. Trent. Trenton. Trenton. Trenton. What is this state though? What is this state? Maryland! No, that’s Maryland. No, that may be Maryland, but then what’s that? Starts with a D. Delaware. Delaware. I’ma put it here, even though… Delaware. Wow. Delacroix? Delaware City. Delaware. Delaware City. No. Sneeze Guard, Delaware. Do, do, do. Dope Dealer, Delaware. Do, do, do, Dople. Dothan. Don’t, don’t, don’t. Don’t you do it. Don’t come to Maryland! Go to Delaware. Dild. You ever been to Dild? I’ve spent a night in Dild. D-I-L-D. Dild. Do I have a dild for you, do. Dild, Delaware. Born and raised in Dild, Delaware. Dild, Delaware. You dealt with that has been dealed ya. What is it, though? After you’ve gotten into the pool, you’ve… Drop a deuce. Dip, Dip, Dip, Dip Time, Delaware. The past tense Drain. of getting into the pool. Douse. Dive. Dive. Dove. Dover! Dover. Yeah. Yes! On fire again. Now finally, besides New Hampshire, we’ve got Old Hampshire? Hold on. No hints. We’re gonna figure out what this state is. Up here. Think about it. Oh, we forgot about Florida. Florida. Tallahassee. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You’re up here in no man’s land, first of all. You know, no one’s up there. People come through every few days. New Hampshire. Who are you? I hate you, whatever you are. No, no, no. This might be a great state. The great state of… It’s one of the first 13 colonies, probably, ’cause it’s on that part. They started small. They were like, “Keep it small. Keep it small.” And then they were like, “Make it big. Make it big.” That’s what happened. That’s the history of the United States right there in a nutshell. Start small and end big. Yeah, the bigger we make it, the quicker we can get the Native Americans outta here. Look. I mean, I think that’s what they were thinking about. That was what they were thinking. It’s awful. It’s awful. But look how big. I mean, I think that’s what they were thinking. Look how big, like California, it just like covers all of that. We don’t have time for anything besides… What is this state? We’ve been at this so long. What is this state? You don’t want any hints? No, no, no, no. I just want you to tell me. Think about New England. You got like… This is a cool state. Connecticut. This is like a… Massachusetts. Maybe you wanna retire here, let’s say. Oh yeah. I want to go up there to New… No. I wanna go up there, past New York. Yeah. Yeah. Beyond New York. Yeah. East to east, northeast of New York. You know, not quite New Hampshire. Vermont. Yes! Yes! I knew he would get it. Okay. And then where do they capitalize Vermont? Montpelier, Vermont. Yes! Hold on. Okay. How do you know that? How do you know that? I don’t know. Montpelier? I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m scared right now. I think it’s “peelier,” but that’s really good. Yeah. That’s the most impressive thing that’s happened in this week. Montpelier? Oh yes. That’s… Okay. I own that place, now. So we got ’em all. Every one. And it only took 32 minutes. Hey, less than a minute per capital. Divorced dads ain’t got time for omelets. Well, they do. Most divorced dads, in my experience, they start off making an omelet and then they screw up, and then they’re like, “Aw, this is why she left.” And then they just turn it into a scramble.