Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Let’s see how things shake out when it comes to TikTok video endings, get it? We’ve been shaking ourselves and now we’re gonna see how TikTok shakes out. We’re gonna predict the endings of some surprising TikToks. You see the winners? It’s a bit blurry. Random disturbing fact for all you guys. Two Scottish doctors originally invented the chainsaw for- Surgery? Childbirth. Childbirth? Mm-hmm. What? In 1780, John Aitkin and James Jeffray invented the first chainsaw prototype called osteotome. They used the osteotome. It could be the osteo-to-me. To cut through the mother’s pelvis when a Cesarean was no longer possible. It is certainly gruesome to think of the large chainsaw we know today as a tool for cutting open wombs. Oh! But the first prototype was much smaller. The pain, however, was still horrifying. Ugh! It was powered by a- Hand crank! Get through the pelvis. And looked like a modern day kitchen knife with little teeth on a chain wound in an oval. Okay, all right. Enough of that, let’s move on. Yeah, you know what, you should be happy that you’re alive today. Mm. You really should. You really should. Ooh whee! Any time you have a little bit of pain and you take a little bit of pill. A little pain and a little pill. Loser . Who’s a loser now? You don’t know how to lose the camera. I hit the red button. You gotta push it harder. I gotta turn it on. See? Stevie, you wanna cue up the first- Yeah, I was just, I was giving him some time to learn how to use it, but I also don’t know how to use it. Loser. Seven pictures. There we go. There’s one. You know they have cute little setups at weddings where it’s like, you know, take your Polaroid and put it in our guest book? Yes. So, my cousin’s wedding- That’s a good idea. Whenever it was a couple of months back. There’s a lot of, I kind of want to say old people, that’s rude. Just say it. But you know old people who, like you, Rhett, don’t know how to use a camera like that. Old people like me. No, I’m just saying, you didn’t know how to use it. But old people should know how to use a Polaroid. Cassie is very nice and she happened to be around there, so she witnessed, like oh, this older couple doesn’t know how to use this. I’ll go ahead and help them out and then she found herself stuck in a perpetual line of old people that didn’t know how to use the camera. She became the photographer already. Yes, and then at a certain point one of the gentlemen was like, oh, “I thought you worked here and I thought this was what you did was take photos of people.” And she’s like, “No, I’m just a nice person trying to help.” Just a nice person. Trying to help. Yep, that’s what you get for being nice to old people. Do you wanna see what we see? A job. Okay, you wanna see a TikTok? Yes. You will not believe what happens in the second part, but I’ll show you the first part. Okay. Okay, that’s puddin’. Is that puddin’? What is that, though? It’s a cup of. It’s not, it’s- Maybe it’s a frozen treat. It’s a creme brulee in a container. Oh, okay, all right. Now what happens? I know what she does. It could be anything, right? Really, it really could. I mean, it will be shocking whatever it is. It’ll shake things up. I’m very excited to watch this. I hope she does what I think she does. Well, what do you think she does? I think she sucks down the whole thing. Oh. You know how you can take – And it’s gone. Boom, and it’ll go straight down. I thought it slid off the plate right into a dog’s mouth. Well, I hope that, oh, I also hope that happens. Maybe both will happen. Maybe she’ll vomit it into the- I’m just thinking about the look on her face, like she knows she’s about to do something that could be a little bit embarrassing. She doesn’t look like she’s about to slurp it down. This kind of looks like a painting. It does. Doesn’t it? Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love the color scheme. Okay, let’s see what happens. Okay. See, she’s embarrassed like oh, I’m gonna suck this whole thing. You take the center of gravity- She’s already coughing. This is the correct way. To what? To do a creme caramel popover version. Oh! You were half right. Half white. Wow. Wow. And then the dog comes and laps it up, so we were both right. Part two. I hate part twos on TikTok. This is the correct way, she said. That’s the correct way. How many times and I watching something and then you get that sinking feeling that it’ll last like 15 minutes, you’re like oh, crap, this is gonna be a part one. I gotta find a part two. And now I gotta go to this person’s profile because TikTok makes it impossible. Oh, hey, T-Bird. Yeah. T-Bird? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey. I was told that you guys were verbally processing. Winners! Trevor, were you saying the tongue twister? Yeah. When you were writing on the board? Of course. There was rule against that. Yeah, we didn’t do that. You’re just a sore loser. So, you knew what he wasn’t getting right. Yeah, he would say it and then I would correct him. That was why we got all five. And that’s why we didn’t get any because- I wouldn’t have gotten any right if I had to do it the way you did it. Exactly. No one intervened. Let’s see another one. This is the correct way to show another TikTok. Ooh, what’s she got. I can’t get it off me. I’m not laughing, it’s not funny. Okay, okay, okay. No, don’t you dare. So, it’s like a cocklebur? It’s worse than that, bro. Isn’t that what it’s called, a cocklebur? Is that a piece of cactus, is that what you call that? I call it cocklebur is smaller than that. They’re back in North Carolina, the weren’t in the desert. We didn’t call them that in my family. We called them- A cocklebur. No, we had a different name for, I know what you’re talking about, the little ones. You would go outside- And they had all- And they would get all over your socks. It was like Velcro and they would be like, and they weren’t really- Oh, like the hitchhiker, hitchhiker plant? Yeah, but what do you call those things? I think they’re called various things because they’re not a singular plant. Now I’ve got to remember- But they get on your socks so they can like be planted elsewhere. This one looks like a portrait, too. But that’s a piece of a cactus. Yeah, can somebody look up what those little- Piece of a cactus. They’re like circular and they’re about this big. You know what, just google cocklebur. And then see what, yeah, what is the- What could happen here? The other name for that. So, she took it off of one thing and then it was stuck to another thing. I think it has to do with the fact- And she’s not happy about. That she is mad. Okay, I think that she bites it. She uses her mouth and back on the mouth train, which is stupid. Okay. She does a stupid thing, impulsive. You know how when you can’t get something off, you’re like, you can’t get something open and you’re like, well, I’m just gonna bite it. I’m gonna bite it open or I’m gonna bite it off of my- It’s kind of something you would do. Not me. I say she hits the cam girl with it and when I say cam girl, I mean the girl holding the camera in this scenario. Right. Okay, let’s see. Can’t get it off there, she’s not happy. Oh, that’s horrible. Give it to me, what are you doing? No, you’re gonna rip it off without any idea of how much this hurts. Oh, okay. Ugh! Don’t. She’s so mad. Got him! So she flipped it, cam girl flipped it off of her right onto her leg. It’s funny how she was like this really didn’t hurt that much and she didn’t wanna admit it. I don’t know who got- Let’s see- I don’t know who got that one right. Oh, that’s a nice picture of me and Trevor. It’s still developing. Still developing. You need to shake it a little bit. You see how I centered him. Even though that doesn’t do anything. You see how I centered him? Yeah. What’s what I do when I take pictures. I center the other person. I put myself on the side. It’s hard to know- Says a lot about me. With those. You’re a good cam girl. Yeah. All right. Here’s another one. Mo? Look what happened to the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree fell over into a suitcase. The Christmas tree’s going on a trip. The Christmas tree’s going to Florida. I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen next. What could happen next? I have an idea. You have an idea? Yep. Hmm. What, so there’s, they were already laughing, I guess just ’cause the tree’s turned over? Here’s what we see. That’s what we see. It’s hard to see what you’re referring to. I don’t really see much. It’s pretty cool, though. I think that, you know, when you come to like fallen Christmas trees, oh, this just in, a cocklebur, not a cucklebur, have a bur, cocklebur have a bur that is firmer than burdock and doesn’t break apart, yep. But we called it something, there was a colloquial name. When these burs get in the sheep wool or on your pet, then what. There was a colloquial name that my mom would call them. You got some so and sos on you. What did we call those things? I don’t know. Cocklebur is any genus of xanthium, a prickly fruited composite plant. I think maybe she just called them burs now that I realize it. Yeah, she took the cockle off. When you have- No flash. Let’s see what happens, ’cause we’ve got good lighting here. All right, so when you have a Christmas tree turned over, I always think there’s an animal involved, probably a cat. Oh, snap! I think a cat- Cat jumps out. Yeah, cat emerges, cat comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, suitcase, cats, trees, cats. Yep. Let’s see. Tommy! Mo! Yay, come on to me. Yeah, she’s under there. Oh, my God. Hang on, hang on two seconds, Tommy. Oh, my gosh. Wow, that was, is her name cat? She was trying to get the skirt. She was trying to get the skirt on there. Oh, I’m under the tree. I’m over here. See the tree? I’m underneath it. What do you think would’ve happened of they hadn’t had rescued you, she’d still be there? She would’ve eaten the tree to survive, I think. You can do that. You can eat pine, you can eat fir. All right, let’s see the next one. Haters ruin our video, that’s a hint. And this happens. Okay, all right. So, they’re doing like a podcast at a diner. It looks like a good podcast, first of all. Can I just say that? This looks like the kind of podcast that I would listen to, one that was filmed in a public place. Now, if you just write down haters ruin video, that’s not gonna get you any points. ‘Cause something tells me- I see what you’re telling me. That’s not enough. How does a hater ruin a video? Sometimes a car will enter a store, have you seen those videos? Oh, like drive into it? Cars entering stores, it’s my favorite genre. That would be awesome. I mean, there’s a parking lot right there. It could happen. You know what? I think that’s it. I think somebody, there’s bollards there, I see two bollards. I think it’s somebody drives up on those bollards. The bollards will prevent the car from getting there, though, so I think- They won’t hit the glass, but they will ruin the video. I think it’s people sans car and I think that there’s some moonage. Oh, you wanna see a full moon. I didn’t say I wanna see it, I just think that’s what it is. You wanna see it. When was the last time you got mooned? You know what? I’m due for a good moon. Haven’t had one. I feel like times have changed a little bit. I don’t know if you can moon anymore. Even the ones that are like pressed against glass? I feel like it would be interpreted as very aggressive if you mooned someone. Moving car pressed against glass mooning is pretty great. One time, me and- Hanging, roll the window down, moon hanging out the window. One time- Even better. Me and our friend, Mike- Beepoo. Not science Mike. . An old friend, Mike. Mikey. We were heading down, we were on a road trip, just me and him and this was 1997 probably. Well, that’s no excuse. And things have changed. And so we’re going down the highway and there was a girl and there was like eye contact or something and like she seemed to be, it was one of those like classic, like there seemed to be some like car flirting that was happening. Okay. You know, like look and smiling or whatever, I don’t even remember the context. Okay. And then Mike showed her his third eye? Mike got the idea. He’s like, “What if I just mooned her just to like, just to completely change the whole mood and make her feel stupid for having flirted?” And I was like, “Hey, man, I’m driving.” And he did it. He pasted it against the windshield and she got so angry and it became like a, she was chasing us for a while. Oh, wow. I felt horrible about it. Was it a moon off? No, she was by herself. But, I’m just saying, even in the late 90s, mooning was already getting to be pretty offensive and so now I think it’s just completely unacceptable. But I think- I love the fact- Maybe it happened in this video. But it being called mooning is what it makes is to innocuous, you know, it’s like, what’s the- Stevie, when’s the last time you got mooned? What’s the moon done besides great tides? I don’t think I’ve ever been mooned. You’ve never been mooned? I don’t think I’ve been. We’re gonna fix this. We’re gonna have to change that. All right, here we go. I’m really doing it. Yep, right. I’m pulling down my pants. Oh, gosh. And Stevie’s looking. Oh, gosh. Look out, what do you see, Stevie? Do you see how inappropriate it is. Full moon. And I’m pulling my pants back up. It’s really white. Well, that’s why they call it a moon. That’s why they call it a moon. Mm-hmm, the tides are shifting in here, ooh, whee! Oh, I get it. Did you make a moon tides joke? Hey, that’s, hey, that’s great. The tides are shifting? ‘Cause that’s what makes the tides is the moon. I think that’s something you could say to get someone’s attention. If you pull your pants down and they’re not looking, is it just me or is the tide shifting? And then they turn. And they turn, oh, that’s good. Ain’t nobody gonna hate on that. I think if you got a good setup, you can bring mooning back. Right, let’s bring mooning back. And also- It’s uncancelable. There’s a cult called the Moonies. Right. We can bring them into it. I think you can get a religious exemption for mooning. So, you moon somebody and you’re like what’s your defense sir? I’m a Moonie. Okay, let’s see if mooning takes place. Thanks for being part- We are trying to film- Of the Houston community and culture. An outro for the podcast episode and this happens. It got so quiet in here. Oh, dog, it was a car. Right through the bollards. Right through the bollards. Goonk, a goonk, a goonk, walking down the street. For a second, for a second there, for a second there I thought someone had gotten out of the car. Podcast out now. I’m sure it’s great. That’s probably the best moment in the podcast. Yeah. The “Under the Bridges” podcast. I mean, that fact that that guy was immediately on his phone. Pretty generational reaction. And he didn’t even get out of the way. So, I was right- That’s just not enough time. And then I didn’t even guess it. Good gosh. I feel like such a loser. Hold on. I guess it, too. The amount of time between you deciding to take a photo and then it actually taking is what makes it so awkward. Yeah, well, you wanna make sure that you got it set. All right, hit me with one more. Okay, this one’s good. Okay, so there’s this car alarm that keeps going off for the past hour. Okay. Got a window in the shower, I approve. I’ve seen this one and I do not remember what happens next. Car alarm that keeps going off. I feel like I’ve seen this one. I remember that bathroom. I think, okay, so he opens the window and then he reveals what he sees, which I’m not gonna write it, I’m just gonna say it. It’s someone honking their horn making eye contact with him. And mooning him at the same time . Wow. Is the tide shifting in here? Tide shifting, that was a good joke, man. Man, I gotta- What about, can you help me- Hey, I’m gonna write that in my journal. Write it in your journal, yeah. The first thing I’m gonna do when I get home, I’m gonna be like dear diary. Today, my best friend Link and I were discussing mooning. After he mooned Stevie. He made a joke. That joke was colon. The tides are shifting in here. He make this joke because the moon controls the tides. Right. I love him. Love, Rhett. I’m sure that’s in your Tumblr. Tumblr? I don’t do that anymore. Okay. Well, let’s find out. I don’t know what happens. So, there’s this car alarm that keeps going off for the past hour. Past hour, yeah, we see it. Got woken up by it right, so I’m like ugh, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then I see this. Oh, yes, I have seen this, it’s a freakin’ pigeon. There’s a pigeon in the toilet. There was a pigeon in the toilet. I forgot, how did I forget about this, man? Dang, this is the best TikTok ever. That’s like the biggest misdirection I have ever experienced. So, there was this car alarm. I went to the bathroom and found this. Going on for the past hour. I thought it was big old- It looked like a giant turd. Turd, at first like. It was a stool pigeon. Oh, yeah. There he goes. Dear diary. Carney also made a joke. I love him. What about- I’m over here talking about Chinese fried chicken that’s covered in xanthazylone and it makes your mouth feel like it’s on fire and all this and you’re taking about a giant chicken nugget. There’s beauty in simplicity, Josh.