Don’t hit the other kids, don’t spit on them. Every chef knows there are unbreakable rules in the kitchen, but what happens when you actually break those rules? Do the guac gods rain fiery and very expensive additional vengeance on you and your family, or are they just arbitrary myths pedaled from chef to chef, waiting to be busted? To find out, we’ve assembled a highly trained team of serious culinary special forces to put them to the test. Because this is- Myth Munchers! We’re here to talk about how Livvy rizzed up Baby Gronk and gave him a hug and now he’s the rizz king and he’s going to LSU until Baby Diggs takes Baby Gronk’s spot. I’ve been saying that all week, man. But until we get to that, people are gonna be like ‘I know the exact week they filmed this episode.’ Cause nobody’s gonna remember that- The exact day, dude, it’s not gonna be funny tomorrow! But first up, lemme sell you, lemme sell you on it. Okay, Sharks, for 10% equity, $100,000 investment, you can get in early on Racc-Pass. Now, this is an app. We got developers, what you do, it’s one monthly fee, full access to all of the master classes created by our official Racc-Pass creators. This is from the raccoons that are currently out of work after the tech crash. We got our whole org chart set up, they’re all gone. Is this like ClassPass? Yeah, exactly like ClassPass, except you get to learn instead of yoga or boxing or Pilates, you get to do raccoon stuff and they can teach you a lot of valuable skills. Now they’re no longer my employees, they’re our independent contractors. I’m saving so much money in liabilities. But, for instance, you wanna transition from bipedal to a quadrupedal lifestyle, Racc-Pass can do that. You wanna learn how to live rent free, put your money to work for you, don’t need a house, learn how to live in a tree. You wanna learn how to cook raccoon style, go to osteria la procione. The raccoons, they all know the chefs. If you wanna just learn how to eat cigarette butts better than you currently do, you can go to Racc-Pass, it’s a really great deal. It’s only $135 a month. So it’s not bad. Today, we’re busting guacamole myths. You might say ‘well, did you just wanna figure out how to film an episode where you didn’t cook anything?’ We said ‘yeah!’ But also, there are a lot of different guacamole myths out there, starting with what’s the best avocado to use. Y’all probably don’t think about that, but there are a lot of different varieties of avocado. In California and a lot of different parts of America, we’re force-fed Hass supremacy, and we’re not gonna tell ya. What if Reed is really the new rizz king because Livvy rizzed up Reed and gave them a hug? But I’m excited because there are a lot of different kinds of avocados out there. Then, we’re going method. Some people, they’re throwing their guacamole in a food processor all willy-nilly, blissing it up, then you got a-holes like me who are just chopping it and putting it into a bowl, and then you have a traditional Mexican mortar and pestle called a molcajete that may or may not produce the best guacamole, we’re about to find out. And then we’re finding out what’s the best surface to make your guacamole on? You put it right on the counter, you put it on the counter then mash it with a banana- No, we’re talking about how to ripen avocados because a lot of people say that you put it on the counter or in a paper bag with a bananer and that bananer turns- Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping lately. And the banana, what are they, the phenol ethers? Yeah, one of those. There’s kinda a magic wizard in the banana that makes your avocados ripe. Or you just leave them on the counter, or say you never put it in the fridge, what happens to avocados in the fridge? Who knows? And then, finally, we’re gonna see how to keep your guacamole fresh, right. If you’re making a mountain of guac, do you leave the pit in? That seems like some witchcraft. That’s not Christian, I don’t believe in that. Do you put some water on the top of your avocados? Who knows? Lemon juice, or just plastic? How much plastic can we eat today? Let’s find out! Because this is- Myth Munchers! All right, y’all, write down your guesses on what you think’s gonna happen and then loser has to eat an avocado with just their hands. You might think ‘that’s not much of a punishment, I enjoy eating avocados,’ but you’re gonna look so silly when it happens. You’re gonna be trying to peel it, it’s just gonna be so weird. You’re gonna be like ‘Ahh!’ You’re not the rizz king, it’s Baby Gronk, you moron! There are different kinds of avocados. Um, if we’re being deadass honest, this probably isn’t going to affect most people’s lives because Hass is- Just ours. Just ours, but we wanna see because we’re curious about this. Because Hass is, like, most of the avocados that are grown in America and most of the ones that they actually sell in stores, so most people are probably just getting the avocados they got in stores, but there are other cultivars that are really cool, so I wanna check them out. Hass avocados started in Irvine, California, and it is pronounced “Hass,” not “Haas.” And then Reed avocados, I believe, are a natural cultivar from Central America and Mexico. They should be a little bit buttery, a little bit nuttery. Nuttery? Nutter-Buttery? Yeah, they’re Nutter Butter-flavored avocados. And then Hass tend to be greener, a little bit smoother, we got the bumpy skins. So, we’re adding 175 grams of avocado to our bowl right now, and we got salt, pepper, lime juice, cilantro, onion, jalapeño, and fresh garlic. Yeah, you have to have garlic in there. Why not? I usually use garlic salt, but, you know, obviously fresh is better. I don’t wanna add fresh garlic to my guac. I’m nervous that this is- We took a vote yesterday because we’re not a cheertatorship or a cheerocracy in here, we’re like a cheerogarchy. You got any opinions about Reed versus Hass? Um, besides their stat sheet, not really. I’ve actually- this is the first time I’m trying a Reed avocado. Ahh. You’re about to put me onto something. There’s a wide world of avocados out there, you can get into, like, bacon avocados are a thing, they’re huge. You gotta remember not to, like, smushy smush, you just kinda- Yeah, gentle. Be gentle and nice with it. That’s how parents would talk to me during play dates when I was a very large kid. They’d just be like, ‘Gently, gently play!’ Don’t hit the other kids! Don’t spit on them! Is that what you were doing? Yeah, I was a monstrous kid! Let’s just add everything. Dump it! Dump it. Okay. Cilantro, pepper, I don’t know why I’m adding all this stuff first, and lime juice, pretty simple. This is, like, close to the- Listen. Chipotle, like- Nah, they ain’t got- They make good guacamole, dude it’s good. I don’t think they do. I like it, man. I’m not a fan. I do love me a good molc. A good molc? A moco? Moco. Wait, moco means booger, right? Yeah, it does. They used to call a kid Moco in my class just cause he always had dried boogers on his face. And, like, bro, how come you just didn’t- Mine’s looking good, how about you? I think I made some guac. I think I made some lovely guac. I think I made some guac. What are- Have you seen any differences here? Not yet. Hass might be a little yellower, which I was thinking Reed is yellower, which is weird. Maybe that’s just, like, not the case at all. What about, like, feeling-wise, while you’re mashing everything? Does it feel like a little tougher? Okay, so the Hass- and again, we ripen these to all feel very similar, but the Hass one does feel a little bit fibrous, where the Reed one looks a little bit smoother. This is super smooth and super just eh! Also, dude, getting a bad avocado ruins my day cause you’re like ‘I just spent $15 on this, and it sucks’ Where do you spend $15 on avocados? Where did- I just got a guy, I got a- You got a guy? Does he come on a scooter? He gives me a little plastic bag filled with powders and then he gives me an avocado and it’s 15 bucks and I Venmo him and I say ‘avocado.’ That’s crazy. Hey, yo, Vi, hit me with a drum roll. But, no give me a little funk to the beat. Presenting spork.com’s official- Wait, no, stop, it’s distracting me. I thought you were gonna rap. Oh, god no, that’s my biggest fear is that I’m gonna freestyle rap. Presenting Spork’s official #1 tortilla chip from their tortilla chip taste test, Spork taste-testing guru Jordan Myrick said these are the best tortilla chip ever made. She said they have a beautiful fresh out of the fryer flavor, they are sturdy but not too thick, salty but not too salted to distract, and I never had the On the Border chips. I’m pretty excited to try them. I never had them café style. Café- Yeah, cafés, where you get all your favorite tortilla products. Exactly. Let’s try it. Dig in. Are we going Hass, or Reed first? Hass. Let’s go Hass. So, Hass is, like, the myth, right? They say Hass avocados are the best. That might be a weird California thing, but we get so many advertisements for them. Cheers. It’s a little fibrous, though. You getting the fibers? It’s a little tough almost. Mhm, it’s weird. No, don’t double dip. Don’t, you gotta turn your chip or break it off and then eat it again. Mkay, okay. Mkay. Molcajete, man, you get more of the spice out of the jalapeño that way. Yeah, you do. Dig into the Reed. Oh, I need a better chip. Reed is like the undersized prospect out of, like, George Mason, you know what I mean? Common four, the 5-star Auburn. Um, who? Sports! Mm. Wow. Very soft, very creamy. Very smooth. And it goes down nice. That’s butter, baby! It is butter. Ooh, that’s earth butter! Butter-cado. I mean, this is a clear winner, right? Obviously. So, our winner today is Reed and- That myth has been munched! Comment if you hate that. All right, Trevor. Well, it looks like Reed avocados were the winner. They sure were, Nicole. Wow. You look like you work on the QVC. I was doing kind of like a- I don’t know, like a Good Morning America, like- No, it’s Good Mythical Morning, wrong show. Hi, I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. And we’re- Wicked smart! That’s ours! Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. We learned about what’s the best avocado to make guacamole, now how about actually making guacamole? What tool is best? Is it the classic molcajete, is it just a bowl and a fork like you’re in a frat or something, or is it the food processor for the busy mom on the go? I personally like to put mine in a zip lock bag and then repeatedly sit on it. I’m sure that bag would go a lot for eBay. Does that make sense? That was a good sentence, yeah. Well structured. So, we already have some finished guac in the molcajete. We made it fresh. And now we’re just gonna do the thing, you know? Yeah. So, our methods are gonna be a little bit different. Mine’s gonna be more of a layered situation, where I’m gonna add the garlic and the avocado. When Trevor’s just doing like a dump. Do the old dump! He’s doing the old dump. The old dump and press. That’s what I like to call it cause that’s the dump, and then what you got here is you got- The press? The press. But you have to, like, pulse it, right? So, it’s still a little bit chunky. This is how I used to make guacamole before I evolved into the new version of myself. I actually kind of wanna be like one of those girls that has a bunch of mortar and pestles from all around the world. Yeah? Like, that’s my goal. When I know I’ve made it is whenever I have a bunch of mortar and pestles from all over the world. It’s good to have goals. And dreams. I’ve never made guac in a food processor, but I’ve seen it on so many mommy blogs and stuff. Really? I haven’t heard of this until about 20 seconds ago. Oh. So, it’s funny because all of these avocados are weighed out to 175 grams, but look at the yield on this versus this versus this. The smoothness- It looks like there’s less avocado in here. Yeah, it looks liquidy on those. Uh huh. Mm. It tastes good. The texture reminds me of something that I would get from Ralph’s in the pre made section, you know what I mean? Yeah, it’s very wet. I don’t know if I love it. It tastes good, but I don’t know if the texture’s exactly what I’m looking for in guac. Let’s try bowl. Bowl. Funner to eat. It’s a much better texture than the food processor. 100%. How about this chip, though? It’s a nice tortilla chip. It’s a nice chip, I must say. Head on over to Sporked.com Molcajete? Yep. The moment of truth. It tastes better. I think you’re getting so much more onion and garlic flavor in this one because you can only mash so much with a fork, and when you’re mixing the onions and the garlic in, you’re really just pressing all of that flavor out and getting a much more even and well-developed flavor in the guacamole. Epic points, plus four. It looks like the molcajete wins, and this myth- Has been- Wait, what is it? No, this myth munched us. This myth munched us. Ready? Okay, okay. Okay. Looks like molcajete won. This myth munched us! Ooh! So, they say never put avocados in the fridge because avocados are what are called climate- Climate- Climaletric Clima… Climatetic Climatetic! That’s not it, but that’s okay. Point is- They’re fruits- Avocados will ripen after they are picked, and so it’s basically up to you to ripen, so you go to a store and you get an avocado. If it’s not ripe, you can do that at home. Heat can actually increase the ripening process, which is why they say never put it in the fridge, but to test this, we got three identical avocados, they all weight about 225 grams, yielding as 175 after pit and skin is taken off. So, this we got three days ago. All the same. All the same avocado crop from the same store! This has been put in the fridge, this one has been put on the counter in a paper bag to seal in the ethylene gas, which is like a plant-ripening hormone, essentially. Yes, and it helps to? Ripen fruit! Basically, when it gets near, it promotes it and it’s like, ‘C’mon, bro, hurry up! You need to ripen faster!’ I don’t know the science behind it, all right? But, I do know that People says you got to put a banana in the paper bag because bananas have a super high ethylene production rate, which you can kind of tell, right? Like, you put an apple on the counter versus a banana, banana’s gonna ripen in four days, you’re gonna get brown spots, that’s the ethylene doing the work, and so other plants basically smell the ethylene, allegedly, and they ripen quicker. They do this. They do do that. And then they ripen. Yeah, big spoon and little spoon. Exactly. You know, and then they make love, and sometimes you flip upside down and you’re- Yeah, and then- Let’s feel them up, let’s feel them up. Feel them up. Refrigerator. Refrigerator one is hard is what we’re saying. It’s cold, it’s hard. Counter. Counter. Supple. Mm, very nice. This is creepy. This is great, what do you mean? You made it creepy, I was having a good time! I don’t know, it’s the way you’re pinching at the tip. Um, and then counter with banana. It’s kinda mushy. I gotta do it a different way now. I’ll just cradle the bottom. It’s a little mushy. It’s like we’re in pottery class. Just like that. I mean, this immediately, to me, signifies that this is riper, but there’s a shot that things can just get mushy without ripening. It’s like you put a banana in the fridge, the skin turns really brown, but the fruit doesn’t ripen. Nope. Could be one of them tricks, but we’ll see, let’s cut it open, make some guac. We already got our garlic and our salt pounded in there. Ah, it’s nice looking, that’s nice looking. I always think I’m gonna chop off my finger. Well, in Britain, they had the ole- They had an avocado hand epidemic. I was gonna say I don’t know what that is. Yeah, you shouldn’t do this, I just couldn’t find- Don’t ever do that. I know, uh oh. You always scare me. Oh wait, we forgot to pound out the stuff. It’s okay, same as- I’m trying my best! We already have the garlic and the salt in there, so it will be all right. So you know you’re doing that- we gotta be on the same level now. We gotta be synced up. I spilled some of that lime juice. We’re splooping the avocado. If you don’t have a molcajete and you don’t feel like spending counter space on it, if you honestly just take all the vegetables and you put them in a plastic bag and you beat the crap out of it with a hot sauce bottle, that’s gonna do it. Dude, I tell you it works. I know we’re not busting that myth right now, but I swear to god that works. You just gotta take me on my word. And so we’re mashing these avocados, and if I just close my eyes and bite my bottom lip, and we’re all having a good time. Mushy mushy, rolling in some squishy, all right. Should we try it? Yeah, we should. Which one? Uh, uh, uh, fridge. Fridge first. Fridge is the worst one, this looks like crap. Well, dang. Mm. That’s still good, though. I mean, it’s good, but. It’s under ripe, but if you mash it around enough, you kinda get there. You need it. This one looks really good. It does, it looks nice and soft. Mm. Butter bread pickles. Over to the banana, this one’s supposed to be the ripest. Okay. It certainly felt softer. Come on. That’s the winner. That’s like my default. Banana, I thank you. So, as it would turn out, putting your avocado in a bag on the counter is not, in fact, the best way. You gotta shove a banana in there sometimes. Hello. Which means- What does that mean? This myth Has munched us? Nope. We munched that myth! Which means, Annaliese, we’re doing this, and we all believe in this. Which means this myth has been munched! Mm, yum! Is that an M? This is our final guacamole myth, that we are munchin’, and this is what to do when you got leftover guacamole and you’re trying to store it. How do you prevent it from growing browner, how do you prevent the polyphenols from oxidating? Just, someone google the science, it’s so hard to keep all the words straight. Trevor? I’d like to forfeit myself from this myth cause I ain’t never seen no bowl of guacamole that I couldn’t eat and finish. That’s fair enough. Trevor, get out. Fair enough. No, no, we need him. No, we need him, we need him. That’s generous. So, the myth is that you gotta put the avocado pit inside of the guacamole. I didn’t believe this at all, but if we’re just looking, should we dump all this stuff out? Yeah, yeah, lemme dump the water out. So, that’s the myth. There is literally no science behind it. There is only superstition, but again, superstition in cooking is sometimes- that’s like the love, right? It’s the stuff that doesn’t necessarily have science behind it. Other people say you put some cold water on top of the guac, seal it up, then you just dump it out and you just get wet guac, that’s cool. Yeah. And then lemon juice, to me that makes a lot of sense because citric acid is a preservative, you can prevent potatoes, apples from going brown by adding citric acid to it, so this one you got lemon juice floating on top, and then this one, you just take the plastic wrap and you just kinda smear it on top, prevent any air from coming in cause air is what causes the browning. It’s an oxidative reaction. Yeah, I think the textures are definitely compromised in both of these. I saw in the just plastic one there is a big brown dot on the top of it, so maybe it was an issue with the seal, or maybe that’s actually what happens. This, surprisingly, is the most vibrant and the most guacamole-looking one out of all of them. Again, there ain’t no science behind this, only superstition, but there is no air touching the guacamole that is pressed against the pit, but the plastic one did look browner than this one. Yeah it did. So, what the hell? There was no brown town happening here. There are little elves in our fridge that are taking poos in the plastic one, and they are afraid of avocado pits. I have a suggestion. Now that we saw what they look like, how about we taste each one and see which one tastes the most fresh? You wanna try that? Greener! Fresh. You’re right, but I think we should taste it, anyways. Where are we starting? Like Natalie Portman said in her Oscar-winning performance in Thor, ‘Magic is just science we haven’t yet explained.’ Okay. Wow. I taste a little funk at the end. Do you taste the little funk at the end? Yeah, it’s the elf poop? I don’t know what it is- Elf poop, right? It’s a little pungent. Yeah. Mkay. It’s still an enjoyable experience. Let’s try it with the lemon juice. Lemon juice- Did it look less brown with the water? Yes. Look at it. Ooh! Look at the difference. The water is so much greener, the lemon juice turned more yellow. So, the elves pissed in that one? Yeah. They just took a bath in that. Tastes store-bought. Ooh, it sure does. Tastes like fridge. You’re just never gonna get all the water out, right? Like, what are you gonna do, just dab it with a paper towel? It ain’t gonna work. It actually tastes like plastic. We’re never gonna get consistent avocados across the board, it’s never gonna happen, but the seed one looks significantly greener. Wow. Wow. The texture is amazing. Hold on. Compared to the other one. Let’s really think about it, because listen. We understand that we’re not scientists. We understand that maybe we’re not even of average intelligence, putting a lot of this at risk of being not scientifically valid. Maybe it’s the elves. What are the elves doing with the pits? They’re afraid of them. They’re afraid of them! That’s what happened. What I’m wondering is how this will affect the Livvy and Baby Gronk situation. Oh, god. All right, so listen, sometimes, even if there is no science to explain why Baby Gronk gets rizzed up, sometimes you just put the pit in the avocado because someone who made really good guacamole that didn’t go brown, that didn’t go bad, put it in there, and even though science doesn’t verify it, that is still part of cooking. We’re calling it for pit, right? I guess we are. Absolutely. And you know what that means: This myth munched us! Myth Munchers! We’ve officially munched all of the guacamole myths there are to be munched except for all the several that we left out. So, first up, they say that Hass avocados are the best of the California product. We found that is f- f- f- false. And Reed avocados, underrated, better, if you can find them, try them out. They’re very delicious. Then, this says that you gotta use a traditional molcajete to express all of the flavor of the aromatics in the guacamole and we found out that is absolutely true. It’s better if you sort of mash all the onions, the cilantro, and the chilies in there as opposed to just chopping it or putting it in a food processor, it’s kinda gross. Then, we asked ourselves, do you really gotta just put it on the counter, or do you put it on the counter in a bag with a bananar, or is it really bad to put it in the fridge? Turns out, yep, counter with bananar does win. Myth #4: this says that if you put the pit of the avocado in the guacamole, it prevents it from browning and we found out, despite science not giving an explanation why, it does work, question mark? Trevor, what did you guess? I guessed Hass, molcajete, refrigerator, pit, and that Baby Gronk would get rizzed up by Livvy. I got two. Got two right, and remember that the loser has to eat an avocado with their hands, which, although a fun time, is gonna be lightly embarrassing. Nicole? I guessed Hass, molcajete, counter plus banana, and lemon juice. It’s a avocado! Thanks! I got two. Uh oh, Vi? I guessed Reed, molcajete, counter, lemon juice, and this is my little baby avocado cause it’s better than Baby Gronk. Two! I guessed Reed, molcajete, bananar, and lemon. Go Tigers! And I got three right! The only one, did we all guess lemon juice on the last one? Yes. Yeah, we sided with science. Pit! Trevor got pit! Yeah, I said frigerator. Why’d you say frigerator? I don’t know. That makes sense. Anyways, that means I am the winner and you three all have to simultaneously- Mutiny! Mutiny! No. Mutiny! No, you cannot- Mutiny! This is not- No, no, no! I do not recognize- Fine! Fine. Eat the avocado! I’ll eat the avocado. God, sometimes I wish this were a cheertatorship. I’ll eat the stupid avocado, but y’all, I think we really made some great guacamole today, and what we ultimately learned today is that even if Livvy is only using Baby Gronk for clout, Baby Gronk still has agency, and he is indeed the new drip king, even if Baby Diggs does not respond, Baby Gronk is going to LSU. And Livvy- Does Livvy even need more clout from Baby Gronk? And, ultimately, support your local avocado farmers. You’re too hot to handle, and so is your bakeware. Get a Mythical Kitchen oven mitt, available now at mythical.com.