Welcome to Good Mythical More. You know what? As, with adults. Chicken butt. People used to say, you know what, chicken butt, I never liked that. As with adults who pair wine and cheese or wine and certain foods, the kids need to know what to pair between their. Juices? Juices and their snacks, and that’s what we’re gonna do today. But first, let’s give $50 to Rachie Turtle. – [Link] Rachie Turtle, repping Mythical today at Ironton Wizardfest. Ironton Wizardfest. Nice and warm. Obviously a society member, got that society blanket hoodie. Wow. Repping two types of merch. Love that. We’ll give you $50 towards, buying something else at mythical.com Thank you, Rachie. How’s that? Hashtag Merchicality. So, let’s go through what we have here. Tell me what you got. I’ve got three, well, okay, well, I’ve got Kool-Aid Jammers Cherry, and then I’ve got Capri Sun, which is the original bag drink. We’ve got Strawberry Kiwi, and then we’ve got another Kool Aid Jammer. This is Grape! Grape! And we’ve got Fruit Punch. And apple juice. Then over here we’ve got Llama Rama, what are these? Fun candy coated chocolate chips on like a granola bar. We’ve got mixed fruit, fruit snacks from Welch’s and then we’ve got the Fruit Roll-Up so we got a, some fruit stuff happening here. Did you hear that? Yeah, one of those burps that you don’t know if anybody heard about you, but I did. It’s not, it’s almost not a burp. It’s in a different spot. It’s like a purr. Is it lower or higher than a burp? It’s like, air didn’t come out of my stomach. Air. Came out of my throat. Sometimes you’ll do that as a fart. You know that? Sometimes you’ll, for me, it’ll be a fart that’s like not on the very end. It’s like somewhere inside. It’s like a stomach growl that’s so close to being a fart. You know what I’m saying? I don’t know at what point. Yeah, a pre fart. It’s a pre fart. I mean, how many of those do you have every day? It’s like, it’s moving towards a fart. It’s an internal fart. A lot of times, it’s like, is this about to be a real fart? I mean, I think your stomach growling. I weighed it out, I weighed it out. Is your stomach growling also an internal fart? I mean, it’s the movement of. Yeah, but why is it not as embarrassing? Air. You know. – [Stevie] Now, my stomach growl, you’ve heard my stomach growl. I mean, Stevie, let’s just say. She’s got a loud stomach growl. But here’s the thing. It ain’t like you fart in front of us. – [Stevie] No, it’s always when I’m like really hungry, but I just get there very, very quickly. But why is it not as embarrassing? I guess because it doesn’t stink. There’s no stink associated with it. No, but. – [Stevie] But remember that one time we were in that Like, important meeting, and I had to, I brought a little bag of nuts, and I had to eat the nuts cause my stomach was growling. Yeah, but if you were farting over and over again, the meeting would’ve been different. – [Stevie] If you’re at a conference table and you’re like, why is that, why is that woman eating nuts, like, randomly? Well, cause, I mean, I don’t know, I don’t know. That’s nothing compared to farting, Stevie. Farting’s, farting’s a different level. Try a little flatulence. – [Stevie] But comparing the two. See, and then, then compare the two. Yeah, next time we’re in an important meeting just fart a few times and see how it goes. I would like to, let’s try to pair these. Let’s try to pair these up before we taste these. Oh, let’s guess. You’re right. Okay. So I’m starting with cherry. You don’t like cherry. So let’s, what do you, what do you like that maybe balances it out? Well, we’ve got El Monterey, family owned since 1964, Extra Crunchy Southwest Chicken Taquitos. As my dad would call them. And then we have, Totino’s Pizza Rolls, of course. Ooh, that’s a good, that’s a good cherry flavor. I like that. I like that. Because this is fruit snacks, like, what’s the best thing to go with fruit snacks? Probably a juice. Probably any, any one of these would work. Probably the most mild juice. So the apple juice. So I’m going, this is a strong flavor, so we need a strong flavor to balance it out. I think it might be a pizza roll. Cherry and pizza rolls. Okay. But you gotta taste the cherry. Well, I’m going to taste it together. I’m gonna put this down there with it. Taste the cherry, he says. Gladly. I don’t really like cherry flavored things. I just like cherries. I think you might like this. I can’t really get this sheath off of it. How does this, oh, there we go. Well, it doesn’t pair well. It doesn’t pair well? Nope. Taste it by itself. Ooh. It got way worse after the pizza roll. Well, it. If you don’t like it already, then you wait until you taste the pizza roll. I don’t like it. Well, I’m gonna taste another one with the pizza roll. I think maybe a, we need, if that’s not working, then we need to go with grape. Grape. We’re going grape. We’re going grape. Now these are, who knew that so many people were making pouches nowadays? Yeah, how does Capri Sun feel about that? When Kool-Aid did that, wasn’t it like a violation of something? Somebody in some boardroom was. I think we can do it now. Upset. I think we can do it. Kool-Aid grape is a different grape. It’s not, it’s no Welch’s. I’ll say that much. No, uh uh. It’s not. Let me try one of these with it though. Kind of works. I kind of like the grape. And the pizza roll. I feel like a kid again. That’s very complimentary. In a way that the cherry wasn’t. Alright, official pairing. Grape and pizza rolls. – [Link] For now. We gotta get something with the cherry to make the cherry taste better. It’s probably not gonna be the taquitos. It needs to be something else you think you’ll hate. So we can have two things you just hate next to each other. Something that I hate with, well, I don’t hate any of these, homie. Maybe this. This, what have they done here? Putting a llama. Llama Rama, fun candy coated chocolate chips. So, it’s just what I thought it was. You’re not gonna like this. Look at that. You don’t like M&Ms, and it’s got like M&M like things on it. – [Stevie] Well, reminder, Sporked ranked like a bunch of kids stuff, so this is all like. Oh, they did? – [Stevie] Sporked approved kids things. Not, I mean, not to say that you wont, that you’re gonna like everything, but just to wrap your head around. Well, I will tell you, this one tastes good. I think it makes the cherry, this actually makes it taste like. Cause there’s chocolate. Black cherry ice cream kind of thing. I think that works. Alright, the chocolate covers the world of cherry hurt. Okay. So we’re going to keep that together because we discovered that. Something about this Chewy Dipps Granola Bar. You kind of like it. It’s tasty. That’s good, man. You like a granola. I don’t usually love a granola, but that one is like so sugary that I like it. Strawberry Kiwi. This is Capri Sun. This is the real deal. This is the ones that started it all. The original. Probably owned by the same company, though, at this point. See, I think you squeeze it up in order to, like, you want to turn the navel north. By squeezing. And then as you poke, you wanna let go. – [Rhett] You have to release. Oh. And it still comes out on your knuckle. Then you suck your knuckle, you seductively suck your knuckle. A seductive knuckle suckle is, is not, you know, no one should complain about that. Right? This is not great. Quit sucking your knuckle, tasted. A seductive knuckle suckle. Quit doing seductive knuckle suckles. And taste your drink. Seductively suckling my knuckle. Strawberry Kiwi. That’s got that fake strawberry flavor, which I’m not a fan of. Oh yeah, that’s not good. So, you wanna put it with? Let’s try one of these. A taquito? Extra crunchy, it says. Seven grams of protein. Real chicken in this. Not bad at all. Well, I do feel a little sad. Pretty complimentary though. Something about it made me sad. Are you feeling sad? What? You got sad? I felt, yeah, I got sad. The taquitos made you sad? Yeah. Did it give you a thought? Did you access a memory? Hold on, let’s deal with this. Did you have a, do you have a bad association with the taquito? I think I was just thinking about you taking that chicken and your mom spanking you. You remember that? Do I remember? You knew you? Why are you eating her chicken man? It smelled so good. It was just chicken. You knew good and well it was just her chicken. That makes me sad. For her. Yeah, I mean, that’s why she spanked me. Cause it made her sad too. ((Laughing)) She spanked me in the midst of her sadness. And I felt, I felt empathy for her. Did that make her happy? Was she happy when she was done? You know, you know, our parents were, they were parents of our times. All of them were spanking, you know, it was, it was, it was on it was just on the booty. My stepdad spanked me and I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ll never forget looking at the underside of the toilet. Cause he sat down on a, he was, he had his pants up. I always have to say, he had his pants up and the lid was down on the toilet, but he sat on the toilet and he threw me over his thighs. What? Who did this? My stepdad. Oh. And so when he spanked me, I was able to see. Up from the, up underneath the toilet. Cause your mom never spanked you. And I never saw a toilet from that angle either. ((Laughing)) And you were like, oh wow, there’s like, it’s like bolted to the floor. But there’s like a whole undulating thing in the back of a toilet. And that was the first time I saw it while I was getting spanks. You know, every time I see a toilet. You’re like, wow, you look over your shoulder. I flinch a little bit. I’m looking, looking for my stepdad to roll up and drape me over his thighs. But was it a, was it a bad experience? It was great. I’m better for it. Well, I mean, I mean. I’m better for it. Incidentally. I don’t know if you are. He was a plumber. Yeah. For a while. They say it’s not as good to do it. You know. That’s why we didn’t do it. Yeah, we don’t do it. Because they said not to do it. All the psychologists said. We are anti spanking. You don’t do it anymore. You don’t do it. You’re not supposed to do it anymore. For anyone having kids now. – [Stevie] We definitely are anti spanking here at Mythical. But when we were kids, when we were kids, that’s what they said to do it. They were like, do it. I got caught in Rhett and Link’s office. Is it for the paddle? We’ll figure out who was right in another 30 years. Maybe it’ll come full circle. What are we doing? What are we doing? Kiwi and taquitos. Kiwi and, excuse me. Taqui-wis. Taquito-wi. I’m down with that. Now these right here, these are great. Fruit punch. I think fruit punch with all the fruits mixed is a good idea. That makes sense to me. You’re trying to get me to eat all these at once You weren’t planning on it? You got, but if you’re drinking fruit punch You got to put all the every flavor just one of every flavor in your mouth at the same time. Now, where do you stand on box versus bag? Good question. I mean, it is a bag, right? It’s a bag of drink. It is a bag. It is a bag of drink. Or is it a sack? It’s a bag. It is a bag, right? They call it a pouch. A pouch. – [Stevie] Yeah. But it is a bag. It’s not really a pouch. – [Stevie] Truthfully, like, I. A pouch is like a pocket on a kangaroo. – [Stevie] Both are, like, very precarious ways to drink a beverage. Yeah. – [Stevie] Don’t you get a little nervous when you’re? Yeah, I was nervous the, the whole time. I got all the four flavors. I’m not nearly as nervous with the box as I am with the bag. – [Stevie] Yeah, but think about like opening a can. Oh, that’s good. – [Stevie] There’s no nerves in that. Right. – [Stevie] Opening a bottle. Right, like I approach it with, I didn’t, I don’t even think about it. – [Stevie] Yeah, so why are we giving kids things that are harder to open? Teach them, to teach them. To teach them. It’s either that or spanking, Stevie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you don’t give them drinks in a box, you gotta spank them. You gotta make a choice. Hey, can you eat some fruities, some gummies, and then drink that, and it tastes like you got a really juicy gummy. Hell yeah. Is that not great? He’s nailed it again. It’s like. He’s right. It’s like I got the juiciest gummies in my mouth right now. This is the best thing we’ve ever done. I’m gonna have to get boxed drinks at my house. I don’t even like fruit punch because I need to think of it as fruit snack juice. Yeah, right. Yeah. Fruit snack juice, there it is. Oh, wow. That is really something nice. And then look at this. Now what are we gonna do? I’m gonna give you. Is something coming out of that? Oh. Okay. It’s like I’m giving you an injection. Have I got a roll for you. Oh. There it is. Oh. It’s a Fruit Roll-Up. I didn’t know that until it came out. It’s a Fruit Roll-Up, dude. Take the cellophane off first. You know what, Stevie, you’re right. I love these. We give kids a lot of things that are difficult. Like this, this is difficult. Well, it’s because they have fine motor skills. I think we’re trying to slow them down. It’s like those. Toys that you can get for your dogs, that’s like a puzzle with food in it. ((Laughing)) You know what I’m saying? That’s what we should be doing with kids, give them puzzles. That’s what the vets are trying to get dogs to do now, is solve for their dinner. Yeah. If I had to do that. We’re trying to make the dogs smarter. You’d be real smart if you had to do that. I’d just be skinny. ((Laughing)) Yeah, that’s a good point. That’s a really good point. The reason why I don’t cook is because it’s not worth it. If you had put a test in before it. – [Rhett] Look at that. There’s every color of the rainbow. Not in mine. Oh. ((Laughing)) Oh, man. Alright, so what do we have? Apple? I feel like apple could work with this. We don’t have much to go on. This is the last one. Fruit Roll-Up. You know that people that ate candy, two to three times a month, live longer than people who don’t eat candy at all? That ain’t true. It is true. People who eat candy, two to three times a month? – [Stevie] But then people who eat it more than that? So people who eat candy a lot. So okay, if you’ve got three people, one of them eats candy like one to three times a day. That person’s gonna die first. But the other two people, the person who abstains completely from candy, and the person who just eats a little bit of candy here and there, like, a couple times a month. That person lives longer on average. Because they’re not, because they have a little fun. They have just a little. ((Laughing)) It’s indicative of the amount of fun they have. And I’m being serious about this. – [Stevie] I know, but such a little amount of fun. ((Laughing)) 30 days and you have candy once or twice. Honestly, it may have been one to three times a week, but I thought, I think it was one to three times a month. But it’s just like, people are like, you know what? I walk past the front desk, and there’s Almond Joys in there. And I know that there’s joy for me in that, in those Almond Joys. But I don’t get it every time. I do it one to three times a month. And then I eat like this on the show. So I’m gonna probably die. So I’m not a great, I’m not a great test kit. – [Stevie] I mean, you will eventually die, yeah. Yeah, you’re probably gonna die, dude. But I’m just telling you, if you’re not eating any candy, just start eating a little bit of candy. Have a little fun, you’re gonna live longer. But it’s a slippery slope. If you slide too far down that candy eating chute, you’ll come out on the other side of death. It’s like Candyland. No, that’s Chutes and Ladders, I think. Candyland didn’t have a slide? There’s a slide on Candyland. There’s a shortcut. There’s a number of shortcuts. But there are no slides. There’s a slide to go down? Yeah. I think it’s just a path. I think Candyland and Chutes and Ladders are pretty similar if I’m being serious about this. I kinda like the apple juice with the, with this. It’s nice and subtle. The one thing that we’ve done here is fruit punch and fruit snacks do go together. Yeah, do that more. Everything else we’ve done today is you can just chalk it up as something you don’t need to remember. Yeah, I agree. I mean, we don’t have room for everything. If you remembered everything we did in this episode of Good Mythical More, well I hope you have better things to take up space in there, is all I’m saying. Right, yeah. Every time you learn something new, you forget something old. But remember, fruit snacks and fruit punch. It’s easy to remember because they both have the word fruit in them. Now we could have said fruit punch and Fruit Roll-Ups, but we didn’t. We didn’t. We didn’t say that. We did not say that. Nope. Just a reminder to go over to Sporked They’ve ranked a ton of snacks over there. The best Fruit Roll-Ups, best fruit snacks, every type of Goldfish. What’s the best snack that you’ve been sleeping on? Sporked is gonna tell you that you should buy it and then you’re gonna tell them thank you. Sporked.com So, anything else you want to be grateful for, or? ((Laughing)) I’m very grateful for this time that I’ve had with you right now. I feel like we. Oh, you left a grape one for me. We’ve had enough fun for several months based on that study. Right. Right. Let’s call it a month. – [Link] Find out what snacks taste the best at Sporked.com whether you’re a kid or just eat like one.