Which kid’s meal is best to fill an adult’s stomach? Let’s talk about that. ((Intro Music)) Good Mythical Morning. We’re about to figure out which kid’s meal is the best to fill an adult’s stomach. But before we talk about stomachs, we want to talk about our minds because this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Therapy is kind of like the gym for your mind. But there’s a whole long list of reasons why starting therapy can be difficult that don’t include not liking the gym. Right. For example, finding the face to face interaction of therapy uncomfortable, being limited to the therapist in your immediate area, and having to worry about insurance networks. These are just a few things that can make therapy prohibitive for some. And these are also the exact problems BetterHelp aims to alleviate. They have a network of 30,000 therapists, so you got a wide selection available to find the one that best suits your needs. Because sometimes finding the right therapist can take a little trial and error. And with BetterHelp, you can search for the right therapist without having to worry about who’s in your network. BetterHelp also offers a variety of ways to conduct therapy, so you can choose the method that’s right for you. Whether that’s having your sessions as a phone call, a video chat, or even messaging them. Just fill out the questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and then you’ll get matched with your therapist. And in most cases, it takes 48 hours or less. The therapists are all licensed and have been trained to give you helpful, unbiased advice and signing up is easy. So if you think therapy might benefit you, consider BetterHelp. Click the link in the description or visit betterhelp.com/goodmythicalmorning to get 10 percent off your first month. And thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this portion of today’s episode. Now, being a kid at heart is a good thing, and with today’s rising prices, when it comes to dining out, you might find yourself wanting to be a kid and appetite too, because adult meals can get expensive. Don’t worry, we got you. Today, we are investigating which sit down restaurant’s kids meals are truly satisfying for adults. It’s time for I’m Just a Widdle Baby Trying to Fill My Big Boy Tummy Wummy With Kids Meals! ((Cheerful Music)) – [Stevie] The Mythical Crew scoured the internet for the top 5 kids menu offerings for you to try and rank. Starting out with Outback Steakhouse, this is their five ounce Joey’s sirloin off the kids menu served with Aussie fries and apple juice for 11.49 You’re going to taste and rank it in the corresponding spot behind you. Let’s take a look at these rankings, Rhett. Let’s start with the worst, which is gonna be number five, Diary of a Wimpy Kid’s Meal. And, the kids are not alright. New mids on the block, love it. Kids eat the darndest meals, and Honey, I love the kids. Meal. Alright, so, this is viable. I mean, my in laws, Christy’s parents, they always, like, order kids meals, and then, like, split them. Splitting kids meals? But then it’ll free them up to get other things. And here at Outback, it says, for kids under 10. So, you’re gonna have to order this to go and eat it in the car, adult. – [Rhett] For kids who love their steak turned into leather. But most kids do like a well done steak. They weren’t shy on that. Kids have horrible taste. There’s a hefty amount of fries here. And the size of this steak. And some people never grow out of their horrible taste. It’s okay. The size of this steak is honestly about how much steak I want to eat. – [Rhett] And these are a lot of fries. These are a lot of fries, Link. – [Link] I did say that. So it’s not bad. Some kind of juice or something. And then if you want to get like a Bloomin’ Onion. What just happened? You moved my straw. It was my little plan. This is horrible, by the way. That steak was just. Oh, it is juice. – [Stevie] It’s apple juice. It’s apple juice. – [Link] It needed to be doused in apple juice. It cost $11.49 You know, they also have chicken fingers, grilled chicken, cheeseburger. But this is the nicest one on the kids menu. I don’t know. If you order it medium, that’ll probably help. We’re gonna have to get other food in here to start figuring out. Let’s throw it up here. For now, I will say, if the steak was cooked a little bit better, This is a lot of fries. I do like juice. Put it at three. Oh, we’ll put it right there in the mid? Yeah. It was pretty mid. Who knows what’s coming next. I’ll stand by that. ((Cheerful Music)) – [Stevie] Next up, you’ve got the Red Lobster kids grilled garlic shrimp with a side of seasoned broccoli and a kid’s raspberry lemonade for 8.99 Now you know kids are gonna be picking this going oh, why? What is this on the shrimp? Oh, this it, what is this? It’s a tail. Oh my God. Mom. – [Rhett] What kind of kids you hanging out with? – [Link] I don’t have kids this young anymore. Kids don’t typically like. I don’t care about these kids. I don’t care about these kids. This is about us, man. We don’t have little kids anymore. That’s true. We’re the kids. It seems like it’s for adults. Plus, there’s no cheese on this broccoli. This is definitely not for kids. The broccoli’s actually pretty good. I did use that fork, but you know what? I’m not sick. I like it. I like a good hard cooked broccoli. You know what I’m saying? Don’t be making it steamed because it’s healthy. Make it soft because it’s good. It is mushy. Four shrimp’s not enough for a big man like me. I’ll just say that right off the top. We got a lot more food going on here with the French fries and the steak and I do believe that that steak could have been cooked well. Yeah. So this is not as good as Outback Is there value in us drinking at the same time again and again? Oh, that’s nice. I thought it was a fruit punch, but it’s a raspberry lemonade. Good gracious. If you don’t know you’re about to get lemonade, it’s a little exciting. This is pretty adulty, man. This is more adult in substance than that. Lots of adults love a steak frites. That’s true. I just think, you can’t call a four, a four shrimp meal. You’re not an adult if you can get, if four shrimp satisfies you. It might satisfy you, but. No, it doesn’t. I need at least, I mean, I need eight shrimp. You need twice that many shrimp. But that amount of steak, still, would have been enough. So, alright, with that taken into account, we’re gonna put it at the kids are not alright. Nope! ((Cheerful Music)) – [Stevie] This is the Cheesecake Factory’s Kids’ Grilled Salmon with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli for 13.50 Our most expensive meal, but this is a square meal. I mean, technically circle, but you know what I’m saying? A circular plate. That’s a lot of food, Link. And it’s adult food. This could be a sensible meal for an adult. Yeah, that, this is what proportions should be like at the Cheesecake Factory. I mean, they, they serve plates for three, and if you want to go in, I mean, if you’re getting a snazzy dish from Cheesecake Factory, you’d want to split it. Give me an example of a snazzy dish. Like the. Chicken Madeira? The Steak Medallions. Oh. Chicken Madeira. Steak Diane. My mom’s name is Diane. The one named after the Bellagio Fountains. – [Rhett] Chicken Bellagio. Yeah, there it is. This is kind of bland. You almost seem like a guy that went into the behind the scenes of the Cheesecake Factory and learned things about it. Well, I did. And you can half it with somebody that you love, or just happen to be dining with. And you’re probably gonna pay. – [Stevie] It sounded like you said dying with. Well you might be dying with somebody. I’m dying, yeah. If I’m dying, truck me to the Cheesecake Factory to share a meal. You know, dump me, dump me in there. – [Stevie] You were saying that your mom splits the meals, and then I thought that was a follow up to that, and I was like, oh my gosh, that was really harsh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s morbid. Christy, Christy’s mom. – [Stevie] Oh, yeah, sorry. Same, I mean, not same. Nope, not the same person. – [Stevie] For the, for the joke, it was. For the, for the joke, my mom and Christy’s mom are the same person? – [Stevie] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. ((Laughing)) Here’s the one thing I’ll say about this, unlike almost everything else at Cheesecake Factory, it’s not that great. Like, the flavor is just. It’s not snazzy. It’s not snazzy enough. It doesn’t have any snazz. I mean, there’s not even any gravy on it. I mean, or sauce. Like, everything there has gravy or sauce or something. Or a dip. And it didn’t come with a drink. They charge extra for the drink. And it’s the most expensive one. I don’t think it’s better than a steak and fries. No, it’s not better than the steak and fries. Is it better than four shrimp? I think it is because it’s three things. I mean, it feels like it’s a full meal. – [Rhett] Three things is better than four shrimp. Everybody knows that. – [Link] Right. So we’re moving it to number four. And we are shoving, we’re shoving Red Lobster down to the bottom. Sorry, sorry, Red. Cause think about it, they didn’t even, they didn’t even add a, a snazzy basket biscuit. What do they call it? Oh, Cheddar Bay. Cheddar Bay Biscuit. You gotta Cheddar Bay the babies. I know, Cheddar Bay the babies. Come on now. ((Cheerful Music)) Hey, you want to know what our first quarterly collectible item of the year over on the Mythical Society is? It is the third issue of our exclusive comic book series, Blood Oath. This one’s Rhett and Link versus Gerard. – [Rhett] Gerard? Grab your copy by joining 3rd Degree Monthly by January 31st if you’re not already a 3rd Degree member. If you are, hey, you got this thing coming, alright? MythicalSociety.com It’s our very own comic book. Collect them all. Well, collect the third one. Collect the third one. – [Stevie] Okay, next up you’ve got an Olive Garden kids Grilled Chicken with Rotini Pasta and Marinara, a side of grapes. And 1 percent low fat milk for 9.28 This meal on the surface is bringing it on every level, okay? Let me just say, grilled chicken, check. A bunch of pasta, check. That’s gonna fill my belly. Grapes? How often do you, I would like to get a side of grapes with every meal if I could. And milk! My family, we used to drink milk with pasta for every meal that we had at dinner. We had, we had. Yeah, and there were adults in the family and they were, I would go over there as a kid and like, they were all drinking milk. Yeah, yeah. And I didn’t. Very common in the 80s and 90s. Now listen, here’s the thing. Really? Was it? It was. I’ve talked to many a people, who have told me that they drink milk with their meals as well. Especially people in the Midwest, but also a lot of people in the South. Very, this is a very bland meal. You haven’t tasted it yet. Let me taste it. Come on man, you can’t tell if it’s bland by looking at it. I mean, there’s just not much to it. That’s well seasoned chicken. Olive Garden brings it, man. Alright, this is pretty decent. But if I went to Olive Garden and this is what I got as an adult. Well, I’m comparing it to the other things that we’ve had. I mean. – [Link] I mean, clearly, the kids aren’t paying. It’s also only $9.28 And it comes with a drink, and the drink is milk. But as an adult, drinking milk in public, at an Olive Garden, makes me feel weird, and it, and having a side that’s just grapes. Yep, I love it. There’s no hiding, people are gonna walk by and say like, that person, that non kid person, has ordered off the kids menu. Yeah, they also heard it when you ordered it out loud. And you have to technically be under 12, so you have to eat this in your car, which as we’ve already determined, is a great place to eat Olive Garden. Where’s the 12 year old? He’s in the trunk. He’s in the trunk. Oh, that’s horrible. ((Laughing)) We almost said it at the same time. I will point that out. I think you said it first. I just, as an adult, I don’t eat grapes as a side to a meal. I just don’t. But you’re doing it right now, and isn’t it great with some milk? No, Rhett. This is so far and away number one for me, I don’t know what you’re thinking. You think it’s better than these two? Steak and fries is better. But it’s not better than this. You see any grapes on this? I will say this tastes better. And I just think that, would you rather have a big plate of fries or a big plate of pasta? – [Stevie] I’m sorry, this is just in. You can choose your side. You don’t have to have grapes. You could also have fries, or broccoli. You can get fries too? – [Stevie] Yeah. I’m still choosing grapes though. Rhett’s still choosing grapes, but yes. And can I choose another drink? – [Stevie] Yeah, you can also get, oh, you can get soda or juice. I’ll take a beer. A kids beer. You’re getting hung up on, you’re getting hung up on grapes and milk. Yeah, yeah, I mean, hey, Stevie, with what just came in, you really cleared things up. – [Stevie] I’m glad I got that call. It’s moving to kids eat the darnest meals. Yeah, it is. ((Cheerful Music)) – [Stevie] And finally, you’ve got Chili’s Pepper Pal Cheese Burger Bites with a side of mandarin oranges and chocolate milk for 6.75. I’ll just go ahead and say it, you can choose your drink on this one and you can choose your side on this one. I don’t want to choose it. They gave me chocolate milk. I don’t want it changed from chocolate milk. Oh, so now that it’s chocolate milk you like it? Yeah. All adults should be able to have chocolate milk with their meals without any shame. This side could be mashed potatoes, fries, broccoli, house salad, Mexican rice, or Cobb salad. So it really comes down to the burgers. They didn’t put anything on this slider besides cheese. Kids got bad taste. You might be able to put a little ketchup on there. That’s a good little slider though. – [Rhett] The bread is good too. The bread is so buttery. Wow. Chili’s. Eating good in the neighborhood, is that them? Eatin good in the neighborhood? Is that Chili’s or is that Applebee’s? I think that’s Applebee’s. Well, we’re eating good in this neighborhood. Baby back ribs, that’s Chili’s. I’m gonna swallow some of this chocolate milk. ((Laughing)) Yep, that’s, yep. I typically just say drink. I don’t know why I said that. I’m gonna swallow some of this chocolate milk. I’m gonna make me drinking sound as gross as possible. – [Stevie] That was Applebee’s slogan because Chili’s is pepper reigns here. What? – [Stevie] Yeah. Pepper reigns here? Pepper reigns here. ((Laughing)) – [Stevie] Sounds like a drag queen. Pepper reigns is here! ((Laughing)) Pepper reigns. Yeah, that’s good. I’m gonna swallow that chocolate milk again. When you’re done. Did you swallow it? Getting a swallow of something is a, that’s okay, but when you say, I’m gonna swallow some of that milk. That sounds bad. Give me a swallow of that milk. Well, it’s like, give me a swig, but then I’m gonna, I just need to swallow. I’m just gonna swallow some of your milk. The more we talk about it, the better this gets. And here’s a mandarin, which doesn’t belong. Not as good as a grape, okay? You heard it here. If you’re gonna have a side of grapes or oranges, go with grapes. No, this is better as a side. That’s almost like a dessert to me. Player’s choice man. And look you even get juice in it. Yeah, yeah, there’s no juice in my grapes. – This is. – Oh, man. This, just as good of a taste as the chicken in the Olive Garden. It might be a little bit better of a taste. Now save one for your brother. That’s what I would do. You make your two little kids? Five little kids I’ll be like nah, you buy, get one kids meal, because there’s two burgers on it and you each get a burger. One of you gets to swallow the milk. You did? ((Laughing)) You did that to your kids? No. I didn’t. Well, I may have. I don’t remember anything about raising my children. I’m on record saying this. That chicken’s good. You know what that chicken reminds me of? Mainly because I didn’t do much of the raising. Do you remember the diet center in Dunn? I can’t say I went there. My mama did. Okay. My mama went to the diet center. Alright. And they had a thing where they would, one of the recipes was just grilling a piece of chicken like this, like just a little chicken breast in a little pan. Just salt and pepper. Yeah. And one time, she grilled it up nice, and while she wasn’t in the kitchen, I ate it. Oh. I ate the diet center chicken, and I was not on a diet. Did you get in trouble? I got spanked for that. You got spanked? Oh yeah, man, don’t touch the diet centered chicken. ((Laughing)) Damn, son. You got spanked for eating the diet center. That’s why I’m a rule follower. Your mama spanked you right then. I mean, I don’t remember all the details, but you can’t get, you can’t eat a chicken without getting spanked in 1983. Cause you knew it wasn’t your chicken. You know what I’m saying? Well, you know, I’d like, I feel so bad for you, I’d like for you to decide now. Oh, that was what I was hoping for. I know why he likes his chicken so much. Cause he’s afraid of getting spanked. Yeah, yeah. Cause I kinda like getting spanked. You know? Well, your dad did it, so. No, my mama would do it sometimes. She would? If it came down to diet center chicken, Mama Di would do it. – [Link] Right, right. She’d burn a few extra calories. Spanking you. Spank me with a spoon. Okay, I don’t know, man. I feel pretty good about this. We’re big fans of Olive Garden here at, Mythical. And. ((Laughing)) Where are we again? We have put them at the number one slot. Yeah, I mean, you get a lot of food. You get great choices, and you get it all for under $10. You just got to have somebody under 12 in your trunk. ((Laughing)) Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. My name’s Lisa from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I just got two kidney stones removed. Woo hoo! It’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. I was hoping we’d get to see them. I think that’s the best she’s gonna feel in a few days. Hey, you’ve been through a lot. Keep on being your Mythical best. Click the top link to watch us make the best juice box after school snack pairings. In Good Mythical More. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] Join 3rd Degree Monthly by January 31st to get our Blood Oath: Rhett and Link vs. Gerard comic book. Visit MythicalSociety.com