Welcome to Good Mythical More. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any day of the year, it’s never a bad time to be romantic, unless you’re single. Yeah. And then you need our advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you shouldn’t feel bad because we’re gonna make everything better. Yeah. Yeah, trust us. But first, we have to give a quarterly report on our new business. Bob’s Burrito Balloons. We hereby call to order the quarterly meeting of, the conglomerate known as Bob’s Burrito Balloons, which we administer, the funds. While, I’m not the president, he’s not the president, we’re not, neither one of us are Bob. I’ve got, I got bad news. We saw some white space in the market, both in the burrito market and the balloon market, but especially in the burrito balloon market. Right. And it turns out we are suffering from what you might call market confusion. Yeah. Consumer confusion. I would say we’re also suffering from lack of demand. Yeah, yeah. Based on confusion, because when people ask us, so are they burrito balloons? Or are they burrito, balloons? Right, I don’t even know what he just said. I don’t know what was different. And basically the idea in our minds was, that’s for you to find out. You know what I’m saying? That’s for you to decide. But then Bob went missing, and so now we’re kind of having to like, put everything in trying to find him. Honestly, we think that Bob is the one who knew whether or not they were burrito balloons or burrito, balloons. I think, you know. You know what I’m saying? He was this, he was the CFO. He took all the money. No, he was also the CEO. He was the inventor. He came up with the idea. I think he’s in. He sold us on it. He’s like in, he talked about Turks and Caicos a lot. Yeah. So I think that might be where our money is, but. We’re confused. So, that’s kind of where things stand. Meeting adjourned. Okay, so, these are individual answers to single person quandaries on Valentine’s Day. Can I maybe phrase it in a different way? Let’s just say that we took a. I challenge you to phrase it the same way. It won’t be easy. We had an intake survey. That consisted of one question and one fun fact for you to fill out. And now, and you had to be single and you had to be a Mythical Beast. We’re gonna look at those answers to the question and the one fun fact, and based on that information alone, we’re going to tell you what you should do tonight to celebrate Valentine’s Day alone. We’ll keep it anonymous, but here’s, one question. If you threw a birthday party for yourself, what would the theme be? And this person’s answer was sexy pajamas theme. In forced dress code, you won’t enter without silk or lace. I swear to God. You gotta have silk or lace on. Swear to God. Sexy pajamas. Okay. A fun fact about this person. Yep. To kind of triangulate who they are. My family was the rabies family. In high school, the rabies family. The rabies family. Do they all have it, or do they all give it to people? It could also just be the last name. Well. The Rabies family reunion. – [Stevie] That’s all it says? It’s not capitalized. It just says rabies, yeah. I think they had a lot of dogs. – [Stevie] The rabies family in high school. I think that means that maybe one or more persons in the family got rabies. From a raccoon or something? If that happens, you become the rabies family. You and your brother get rabies, y’all the rabies family. Now. Emma’s throwing a sexy pajama party. Is it for yourself? Is it for, I guess I understood the question is, if you were throwing a birthday party for yourself. For yourself, what would you be doing? Meaning that you’re the only one there. And then you dress up in sexy pajamas. – [Stevie] You said we’re going to keep these anonymous and now Emma is throwing. No, no, no, no, no. Emma is not. Link made up that. It doesn’t say Emma. Emma rabies. Kind of like Stewart and Kale-y. – [Stevie] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good theme there. Emma rabies. ((Laughing)) I like the idea of a sexy pajama party. Especially. But are they by themselves? Yeah. Cause if you get sexy by yourself, you know, then I’ve got a few ideas for you. Does it involve a mirror? – [Stevie] In high school, my, what? My neighbor, who was my friend in high school, who, you know, lived next door. Her mom opened the front door, and a fox, I don’t understand. A fox ran up to her bedroom, and she had to go get a rabies shot. ((Sneeze)) Excuse me. I mean, bless you. Was the. ((Laughing)) Was the fox, was the fox running out of the house or running into the house? – [Stevie] Well, that’s the thing. We, I mean, it’s not like we lived, like, in the woods. Or something. We lived in just, like, you know, a neighborhood. Yeah. – [Stevie] So, then there was a period of time where I was like, if I’m out, if I go outside of my front door, is a fox gonna come at me? A porch fox. – [Stevie] And that’s a weird fear to have. A porch fox is a bad fox. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. You don’t wanna get bit by a porch fox. You don’t want a porch raccoon. A porch opossum. You wanna come back to this one? Cause I feel like we’re. Yeah, I feel like we’re, coming up a little bit dry. – [Stevie] Also, by the way, the writers came up with, suggestions too, in case, in case you were faltering. Give us a second try. – [Stevie] If you need some help. Well, we’re clearly faltering. – [Stevie] Okay. But you don’t want help. Yeah, like, what would a writer say? I mean, it, being a performer, it’s a whole other thing. I mean, you’re in front of the camera. It’s harder, guys. You just can’t think of something to say. You actually have to say it. – [Stevie] They suggested that this person for Valentine’s Day could, make silky pajamas for local raccoons. They could have a lingerie party at the local animal shelter. They could train a bunch of raccoons for a burlesque show. – Okay, these are good. – Okay. – [Stevie] You know, that type of thing. You heard it here. Those are good. I mean, Stevie said it, but you heard it here. Great ideas. Let’s try again, Link. We’re going to do great on this. I take back what I said, that was great. Yeah, those burrito balloons really, you know, the failure of those was really shaking us up. We asked, what’s your most prized possession? And one person answered, a 31 inch tall John Cena action figure. Okay, now we got something to work with. Fun fact, I’ve won over 40 radio contests. Okay. This is one of those people that calls in to all the, if you’ve won 40, you’ve called in to, I mean, at least 4,000 radio contests. – [Rhett] Hey, listen, I’ve got a few ideas for you. So here’s what they’re gonna do tonight. You wanna come over and call the radio with me? You sit next to your 31 inch tall John Cena statue, and, call and do some radio shows tonight. ((Laughing)) I bet you, I bet you, you know, good things will happen. ((Weak Applause)) ((Laughing)) Okay, again, this is tough for us guys. ((Laughing)) So, writers to the rescue, what did you think was, good advice? Like, something that we could have said that would have been good advice. Yep. Maybe a little comedic. Yeah. – [Stevie] Well, the writers went, this is interesting, selection of, of things. Yes. – [Stevie] Host a fight club at your house with all your single friends. So that was more on the John Cena run. A wrestling fight. Wrassling. – [Stevie] Yeah. But broadcast it on the radio. – [Stevie] Go around telling strangers you can’t see me and hope that one of them falls in love with you. Okay. – [Stevie] Oh, it’s a John Cena reference. Is that what he says? When he sneaks up on you? – [Stevie] You can’t see me? How does he say it? – [Crew Member] You can’t see me! ((Laughing)) Yeah. John Cena is a funny dude. He is a big dude. And he’s a big funny dude. Oh, have you met him? No, I’d like to meet him. Okay. I think we’d have a ball with Mr. Cena. He’s invited. He’s invited to the raccoon lingerie party. ((Laughing)) All right, yours weren’t much better there. It wasn’t a lot with the radio contest. Let’s try another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because we’re getting better each time. We asked, what’s a recurring dream you have? Here we go. A real person who enjoys our content answered. Okay. A recurring dream this person has is a prime rib festival. There’s no other way to describe it than a giant party where everyone just eats prime ribs. It’s like slightly futuristic, where there’s a unique opportunity, unique transportation around the festival. But I’ve had this dream for years of my life. A prime rib festival? A prime rib festival. Of the future? And, the fun fact, I can wave my singular toe. Well, let’s unpack that. ((Laughing)) That means you can take one’s toe. My singular toe? But, does that mean that I only have one toe? Okay. Singular toe. – [Stevie] Did anyone else? That’s different than, I can wave one of my toes. – [Stevie] A singular toe. Get onto the side of TikTok where, I guess there’s this one mall, like an old mall in, you got there? Okay. Where people have recurring dreams that start, like multiple people have recurring dreams that start in this specific mall. And the mall has the layout that it had in like 2006 or something. And, and all these people, yeah, Crystal, Crystal Mills or something mall. And all these people report having recurring dreams that are in this mall from 2006. Cause the store layout is of that year. And then people were commenting that a lot of people, when they have a recurring place that they can remember in their dream, it’s their brain, and I don’t remember the term for it, but it’s their brain essentially saying like, what dream are we going to have tonight? Or what thing are we going to think about tonight? And it’s like, organizing like, If you go towards the Hot Topic, you’re gonna have X dream tonight. It’s like some way that your brain is like. Like a DVD menu? – [Stevie] Yeah, it’s like your brain signaling like, you’re in a dream. A dream memory palace. – [Stevie] Yeah, like, you’re in a dream. What kind of dream? And it’s this particular mall? – [Stevie] And yeah, and, but. For people who went to the mall back then? – [Stevie] Yeah. Okay. – [Stevie] Well, that’s interesting. And they all meet in the mall in their dreams? No, they all, basically like, start in the same place though and like see the same layout and there’s certain things like, the escalators are always not moving in everyone’s dream. They’re always broken. I’m remembering a dream I had last night it seems like, they start talking about this and then it starts to inform the specificity of it, but. Can I share it real quick while you’re coming up with a really great idea for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better than the writers. You got triggered? Your dream triggered? Last, you were in my dream last night. And I, my, I was barefoot. – [Link] Okay. And I looked down at my foot and. – [Link] Singular toe. No, my, I think this is probably the dream and the foot is what made me think about this. And the side of my toenail came off of my foot and went, it was like a toenail that went all the way down the side of my foot. Ew! But, it was like really cool looking in a pattern like an orange and white pattern that was not painted, but was like a natural phenomenon, and then you were like man, what’s up with your toenail? I was like, I don’t know and I look down and I realized that the, so that was on the side of my foot and then every other toenail, on the other four toes. So that was your big toe? Yeah, that was the big toe Came out in a different orange and white pattern, some stripes, some dots, and wrapped around each toe like a ring, like three or four layers. And it was like I had this wonderful foot. You had a wonderful foot? I had a wonderful foot! ((Laughing)) A wonderful foot! It’s so weird, and I’m remembering this now. And then I was like. Like a mermaid foot. And then I was, and I was kind of in a like, I’ve never noticed this before. And I was like walking on it, and it was weird because I was like, I don’t know why I don’t feel this inside my shoe. That is wild, dude. I had a wonder foot. And you felt, you felt happy about it, not disgusted or disturbed. I was like, things could be worse, is what I was thinking. What was my reaction? You thought, you were concerned at first. Until I was like, but I’m fine, it’s okay, it’s kinda cool. That is. Weird, isn’t it? I mean, that’s like. What does that mean? And I was at a Hot Topic. No, I wasn’t. It was out of my home. Prime rib festival, you can wave a singular toe. I just say, go out on the porch, have yourself a prime rib, and wave at everybody with your toe. Right, you’ve won at life. You’ve won at life. Yeah. You need no companionship. Eating a prime rib by yourself on the porch? That’s calling it a prime for a reason. That’s badass. Now what did the writers say? – [Stevie] Spend hours slow roasting a prime rib for yourself to enjoy and then buy one of those foot spas so you can eat your meat while your toes soak. While your toe soaks. Pretty good, pretty good. Alright, that’s pretty good. We ask, if you threw a birthday party for yourself, what would the theme be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same question, different answer. A tea party in a vintage library. The theme is just simply books. Oh. Fun fact, I’m currently growing herbs, like cilantro, in my room. In an herb room. You’re a bookish herb grower. An herb grower, an inside herb grower. We got some hydroponics. I really think you need to get on, you need to get on some chat rooms. I think that there’s plenty of people like you out there. There probably are, there probably are. Right? Like, cilantro, no, you didn’t. That’s probably plan A for this person right now, though. Yeah, yeah. You know, I feel like we need to come up with plan B. I think, what? Yeah, before they meet somebody? No, I’m just saying that, like, a lot of people go into, have online connections, or whatever, and, you know, that’s too, it seems too easy. I mean, that’s, sure of, you’re probably already gonna do that. Well, books and cilantro is all I’m saying. Okay, alright. You know, that, those type of people. Yep. Right. So it doesn’t taste like soap to them, and they like to read. Okay, so you’re sticking with your chatroom. Yeah, I am. It’s not too late for love for you. I’m not writing you off. That’s a book pun. Well, you know what? You know, you shouldn’t let the fact that you are single make you feel bad about Valentine’s Day. Because here’s the thing. Today is low risk for you, right? You know, if you were in a relationship, you’d have the opportunity to make a mistake. Yeah, it could go real bad. And if you’re single, you can’t lose, basically. You’ve already lost, so you can’t lose again. You can, maybe you’re, you know, maybe you, I mean, people choose to be single. I know it was a joke. I’m sorry. And. You got it figured out, maybe. And, yeah, so you actually might, you might be the winner here, is all I’m saying. You can do anything you want, you have, you know, the world is your oyster, zero expectations. Alright, and if you have a very interesting foot. Treat yourself. Like I did in my dream. It sounds like you might have one. Mr. Prime rib had one. That’s something to be grateful for. This person’s recurring dream is about houses or apartments with secret, fully furnished, usable rooms or hallways that lead to a whole other apartment or house. Oh, I love this kind of thing. I know, that and the prime rib. This person is also addicted to roadside tourist attractions. So they like weird, anomalous, kitschy, gimmick type things. You probably don’t have time. Well maybe, maybe there’s one of these places in your town, or nearby. The problem is, depending on when you’re watching this on Valentine’s Day, usually these places close at like 5pm, so it’s probably too late. So, maybe tonight, for your Valentine’s Day celebration, you make plans. For when you’re going to visit your local, the local attraction that you have. Preferably, a house that has twists and turns like that weird, what’s the house in Santa Cruz that’s like, on the hill and it’s sideways and it makes you feel crazy. What’s it called? Mystery Spot. Mystery Spot. Go to the Mystery Spot. You’d like the Mystery Spot. Ask them if you can spend the night. Ask them if you can be there and maybe have a dream while you’re there. You know, reservation is for one. Threw a birthday party for yourself, this person’s answer would be a haunted Victorian mansion theme. Dark and spooky, candelabras, dresses, and cauldrons. Okay, Halloween vibes. Fun fact, I broke my collarbone twice falling out of bed. Oh, well you’ve broken your collarbone. Yeah, but I didn’t fall out of a bed. Well, don’t make them feel bad about it. I mean, he fell out of bed once. You know? ((Laughing)) Oh, well, this isn’t a fool me twice situation. ((Laughing)) You fall out of bed once and you’re like, oh, that was unexpected. And you break a collarbone? Well then, now, at this point, they probably have the little. fence that you put on a kid’s bed. I would think, if you do it twice, now you need to get the fence, or at least put an air mattress next to it, or just start sleeping on a air mattress. Now, if I was single, this could happen to me. I think the only reason why I haven’t broken a collarbone when I’ve fallen out of bed, because I have, is because I’m in a relationship. And you run into Christy when you roll that way? Yeah, she sleeps on the floor. No! I’m saying. I’m saying that you reduced your chances of falling out of bed by 50 percent by having a woman in the bed with you. And you know what’s on the other side on the floor? All the decorative pillows that she seems to insist on being on the bed every day. You can’t lose. I can’t lose. He can’t lose. This man can’t lose. The reason why you’re breaking your collarbone is because you’re trying to catch yourself. You just need to go full fish. Just fall off the bed like a fish. Just flop right off. Right, go loose. And, you’ll be fine. Don’t hit your head, but don’t try to catch yourself. Well, maybe sleep in a helmet. Or put some candelabras dressed as cauldrons down there. You know? It’s your birthday. No, it’s Valentine’s Day. Well, but it’s the birthday. – [Stevie] Wait, your suggestion of what they should do for Valentine’s Day is sleep in a helmet? No, that’s just sort of a lifestyle suggestion. ((Laughing)) Flop off their bed like a fish. If they’re gonna go fish style when they fall out of their bed like Link is suggesting, which I completely agree with, I’m suggesting a helmet. And finally, if you threw a birthday party for yourself, what would the theme be? This person said, Lord of the Rings themed with Hobbit food. This is good. This is good. Potatoes. Fun fact, I’m a hot mom. Okay, alright. ((Laughing)) Well. This is causing me to stumble. You can. ((Laughing)) I would think as a hot mom, it’s not too late to make plans. You know? I mean, I’m just saying that you don’t have to be alone. That’s all I’m saying. Right. You can find a hairy footed person to be with you. You can find a Hobbit. Find a Hobbit and have a ball. But wear a helmet. ((Music)) That’s not what protection means. ((Laughing))