Welcome to Good Mythical More. Apparently Celsius is this hot new commodity in the energy drink world. Hot. It’s not only caffeinated, but it does other things like give you an arctic vibe or any one of these vibes. I love vibes man. I’m all about the vibes. Can we match the obscurely labeled drink with a vibe. I don’t know if we can, but I do know that we can check our voicemail. – [Voicemail] Hi. This message is for Rhett. Big fan. Love your work. I just, I got one little note for you. Just please, don’t, don’t wear shorts. There’s, there’s just too much leg there. You know, I feel like it’s a lot of leg and it’s, it’s almost like a jump scare. So, if you could just not do that anymore, I would be greatly appreciative. Link, you’re perfect. Love you so much. No notes. Okay, alright. Your leg is a jump scare. Yeah, well, I don’t make a, you know, listen, I don’t make a habit of wearing shorts on this show. Usually when I’m given shorts to wear, it’s for some specific reason, yes, to sell them to you, but apparently it’ll scare you with my legs. Note taken! It’s just, I don’t think she was criticizing, you know, your actual legs. Oh, my legs? Yeah, it’s just that my legs scare her a little. The leg itself, it was just the amount of leg, I think. Too much leg? Yeah, I don’t think it, like, anything specific about your legs. I don’t think you should be self conscious about your legs except how much there is of them. Okay. You know? I can’t, there’s not a lot I can do about that. There’s nothing you can do about that. It’s not like spider veins or something. I can probably do that thing where you, you get your legs cut and then shortened. Oh, really? Yeah. Cause you can get your legs cut and lengthened. But that’s the surgery people get to get taller. Where do they get it from? They get it from people like you? Where do they get the bone from? From people like you. Tall people, tall people who want less leg. Leg reduction surgery. Give more leg to short people. Yeah. I could be a leg donor. Now, when we were in high school, there was a guy who, I don’t know if it was just his terminology or if it, if it spread wider than that, but like, when he said leg, he said get you some leg. He was actually talking about the entire intimate experience. Is that, is that something that? Who said that? Josh. Really? Remember Josh? Leg? Get you some leg, boy. You got some, you gonna get you some leg? Well, what do you mean by that? Maybe he didn’t understand how it worked. The entire intimate experience. Do you remember that? I don’t. I don’t remember that. Has anybody else heard of that? Leg? You’ve heard of that? Katrina? – [Katrina] Yeah. – Get some leg? – Get some leg? Get some leg? Well, it’s the entire intimate experience. It’s not just. Maybe get some legs. No, that’s not it. Okay, let’s taste this first one. Cheers. Good gosh, that is tart Stevie, what can you tell us about Celsius? – [Stevie] It’s a, it’s a cool, hot, hot, cool new drink. It’s cool and hot? – [Stevie] In the energy drink world for, I believe, the Gen Z-ers Is this still a gamer thing? Is that who’s still drinking this stuff or is this people working out? Is it everywhere but like America? And now that it’s here we really don’t know how to – [Stevie] I’ve seen it pop up on my TikTok from time to time. I think that’s why it’s also like vibes? Cause that’s a very Gen Z thing to say. Oh, they say that they’re a movement. Who says they’re a movement? Their website? – [Stevie] Yeah. It might cause a movement. So we have to, we can choose between Cosmic Vibe, Astro Vibe, Tropical Vibe, Arctic Vibe, Fantasy Vibe, and Oasis Vibe. This doesn’t feel like tropical. Oh, that was the one that I was immediately feeling. First of all, I already have a headache. Like, why do I have a headache? ((Laughing)) Well, it definitely doesn’t feel arctic. No. And look at the color. It’s tropical in color. Wow. I mean, I don’t know, man. It’s got a lot of citrus-y bite to it. I feel like, I mean, this is as good a guess as any. I feel like this might be a descriptive word that doesn’t actually map to a flavor. Like, cosmic, astro, or fantasy. But you gotta look at the color, too, man. I’m just telling you. It could be fantasy. It could be oasis. It looks like urine. If it’s not tropical, I think it’s oasis. But I’m gonna put my foot down. Let’s get the next one out here. I mean, it’s time for me to drink another cup of coffee, but, so it’s not the caffeine that’s doing this. It’s something else in it. What other crap is in it? Oh. You were saying it was like a preworkout. Can we get some ingredients lists? Probably got. Taurine. Niacin. Orange. Ooh, it’s bad. God, there’s so much stuff in it that makes it taste bad. Now see, that tastes tropical to me, or maybe oasis. Cause I feel coconut. – Yes. – I feel coconut. Yes. Coconut and oasis? Oasis and the coconut. Yeah, cause it’s just a palm tree and some water. How do you, I mean, if you were trying to draw an oasis, what would you draw? In the desert. You’d draw what? Couple of palm trees. Couple of palm trees. A little bit of a puddle of water. Puddle of water. Maybe a flamingo. Floating in it. I doubt it. I doubt it. See, now we’re back to an even. This looks like my urine after I have a lot of vitamin B. Yeah, yeah. You know those days? Real nuclear. – [Stevie] Well, there’s seven essential vitamins in Celsius. What are the seven essential vitamins? A, B, C. None of those would be giving me. F and G. – [Stevie] Chromium? More on that later. Hold on. Are you reading something or did you say more? – [Stevie] I’m reading their site. Ginger, guarana? Green tea? Ginger is not a vitamin. – [Stevie] No sugar, no aspartame, no high fructose corn syrup, no artificial colors or flavors. No aspartame? – [Stevie] Performance, for performance energy. I’m getting something else in. Hey, we’re gonna be ready to perform. She’s getting something else in. We’re gonna be ready to perform after this. Think about that. Yeah, but we’re done. We have to make some phone calls, make some arrangements. – [Stevie] The heavily caffeinated energy drink proudly states that it contains no preservatives, but a recent lawsuit shows Celsius being sued by the NCAA for containing the preservative citric acid. Oh, it’s exploded. Not, not literally. Well, it probably has exploded. Exploded across the nation. – [Stevie] Yeah, for the younger generation. I gotta text Jessie and tell her I’m about to be in performance mode. ((Laughing)) This is the best tasting one. And that’s not saying much. You’re putting this on Celsius? Well, it’s all Celsius. Oh, I mean, cosmic. Cosmic. ((Laughing)) It feels cosmic or astro. Cosmic I think is gonna be blue. Okay, astro. Let’s go with astro. Or it could be fantasy. I don’t know. It could be fantasy. I think fantasy is a cooler color too. – [Rhett] Well, oh. Here we go. We got more of the same. Now we’re in trouble. We just keep going back to this. Nuclear pee yellow. Oh. Orange, yellow, and then fluorescence. That’s arctic. I think. You would think it would be blue, though. I agree. This one’s the best one. It has a berry flavor. It tastes like it comes from. Like a blueish like like a dark berry. Like a blueberry that doesn’t release blue juice, you know like an arctic berry. Yeah Tap into the vibe. Oh now we’ve got it. Here we go. We’ve got a little. Red. Blood in the toilet. Oh gosh, smell that. Smells like a Christmas tree. Does it tastes like New Year’s? Ooh, that’s Robitussin. ((Laughing)) That’s fantasy. Somebody got some red drink. That’s a fantasy vibe. Yep, you’re right. It’s the color of fantasy. It’s the color of a. – [Rhett] Yep, you’re right. 100%. – [Link] An extraplanetary campfire. What if our lives? It’s like jet exhaust from the future. Like a Squid Game? Yeah, yeah. I feel like, think about, think about how much, how many views this one episode would get. What if every single episode, that was what was on the line, was our lives? Can we just make it like strip poker? Like, next episode you’ll be wearing one less article of clothing. Or maybe your leg keeps getting shorter. ((Laughing)) What is the, what is the most significant consequence that you would be willing to endure every single day? On this show. For the views. One solitary nose hair plucked every time you get one wrong. Instead of making a joke at your expense. Okay. I am going to say this headache. And I’m not referring to you. I actually have a headache from this. And I’m going to come back tomorrow. You can count on it! Is today Friday? I’ll be back Monday, if that’s the case. I will be back whenever you need me. Okay. Why don’t you answer the question? I don’t know. I just feel like I came up with the scenario. I don’t know what I’m willing to sacrifice. I’d probably, I’d probably get a, assuming you agree to the same thing, like a, well, I lose a lot more than you. No, no, no. This only applies, we play every game together. Okay. Because it makes it, then it makes the consequences greater because then we both get a thing done and we get in fights and then we just keep rolling. Paper cut on our neck. Oh, oh, oh, paper cuts. On the neck. On the neck? I think it could kill you. Every day? And I think there’s a, you’re just. And we’re just constantly scar tissue. There’s a point where that jugular is gonna get. We just have like after 10 years, it’s just scar tissue. It’s like, have you seen that show where the guys just paper cut their necks? It’s hard to watch, man, but I can’t stop. They’re almost immune to it at this point. I don’t think anybody would watch. Oh, they’d watch. I wouldn’t watch. We’re open to suggestions. If you think there’s another part of our body that we should paper cut every time we get one of these things wrong, let us know in the comments. We got a double F here. And the only thing. God! Why do people? Just smell it. I know. Do this to themselves. Something in the bottom of a trash can. You know how sometimes when you realize your trash has leaked a little bit? Yep. This is trash juice. This is trash juice. Cosmic trash juice. Oh my gosh! It tastes like trash juice. None of them are good, y’all. But this is by far the worst. What’s the worst thing you think of? What’s the worst word? cosmic, astro, tropical, arctic, fantasy, or oasis? Well, astro has the word ass in it, so. Yep, this tastes like ass. This tastes like ass, bro. Okay, put it on Astro. Is that why they named it that? – [Rhett] Alright, now we wager. How many paper cuts do you wager on us being completely right? Completely right? Queen sweeping it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you’re wrong, you give yourself this many paper cuts. But this is, we’re doing, like, this is just, this is a trial run, so you don’t have to do a real paper cut. What about a paper, what about a paper cut with a paper towel? Yeah, yeah, paper towel, paper cut. Okay. So, I’m gonna say if we are, I think we’re probably wrong. I’m gonna wager one paper cut that we’re completely right. It can happen. I’m gonna wager two for the both of us. Okay. – [Stevie] Okay. Let’s start with A, which is. You’re not gonna let us have a chance to switch? – [Stevie] Oh. I guess we have them all right. – [Stevie] No, please. How many do we have right? – [Stevie] I believe you have one correct. ((Laughing)) Alright. You get two. I’m gonna just go back and forth, okay? ((Laughing)) Alright, so first of all, oasis has to. Hold on, what’s right? Hold on, what’s right? We got one right. Well, I know that I want to switch tropical and oasis, because. I think we’re right about astro. Yeah, we have sound logic. So, let’s switch cosmic. No, I actually feel right about fantasy. Fantasy is the one that we both felt the best about. I feel like cosmic against fantasy needs a switch. No, no, no, no. Fantasy is the one that’s right. It’s the only red one. You don’t think astro’s right? You wanna switch astro and cosmic? I wanna switch. Switch astro and cosmic cause those sound similar. Right. Right. And then arctic needs to switch with something. Arctic is the only one that’s right. Now we need to switch fantasy with one of those. Tropical. Tropical? No, no, why would it be red? Why would tropical be red? This one. I think astro would be red. Yeah. Alright, how many paper cuts now? Oh, man. Two paper cuts. Two paper cuts for me too. I’m going two paper cuts. – [Stevie] You have zero ((Laughing)) Ow, ow. ((Laughing)) Oh! Oh, man, that’s rough, man. Come back tomorrow, we’re gonna keep doing that. ((Laughing)) This is the show now. Paper towel cuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every day the paper gets harder. No, no, no, the paper stays the same. Oh, well, eventually the paper changes. Next month, maybe. Stevie, my heart’s not in it. Tell us, we were right about this, weren’t we? – [Stevie] No, the, the, Celsius in A, is Tropical Vibe, which is the one that you had correct previously. Move that! – [Stevie] That you were like, I’m putting my foot down, this has got to be tropical. – [Rhett] And then you, you should have stuck with it, man! – [Link] And that was the start of the whole thing. – [Stevie] Yep, it’s star, starfruit and pineapple. The Tropical Vibe is exotic and sweet and is the perfect zip for summer. That’s not. – [Stevie] Also, by the way, if you go to Sporked.com and search Celsius, they’ve actually done an extensive ranking, and they have a bunch of stuff about Celsius over there, so you can learn a lot more than what I read off of a random Celsius wiki thing. What if you search, go over to Sporked.com and search paper cut? What happens? What do you think happens? – [Stevie] Let’s see. While we’re waiting on that. While we’re waiting on that, the thing that they’re marketing this as is that, there are things in this that boost your body’s metabolic rate. Oh, okay. Drinking Celsius prior to fitness activities is proven to energize, accelerate metabolism, burn body fat, and calories. Does that have an asterisk? Yes. And what does the asterisk say? It not only has an asterisk, it also has like a little star, a little cross. There’s all types a little. And then like a strikethrough? Right. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Well, they didn’t have time. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, care, or prevent any disease. Okay. Celsius alone does not produce weight loss in the absence of a healthy diet and moderate exercise. Yeah, but does healthy diet and moderate exercise produce weight loss in the absence of Celsius? No! So, whether you walk the dog or work out at the gym, make Celsius part of your daily regimen. You walk the dog. Well, they are really, the marketing is working apparently, cause here we are. Okay, B. – [Stevie] If you search paper cuts on Sporked.com, how to make an easy, slightly unhinged Easter charcuterie board is the first article that pops up. See? We got everything over there. – [Stevie] Fantasy Vibe. Fantasy Vibe has a bright and citrusy profile with an end note of creamy marshmallow, similar to an Orangesicle taste. Oh, that marshmallow was what I was thinking was, coconut. Marshmallow? – [Stevie] C. That’s strange. – [Stevie] Is Astro Vibe. Astro! – [Stevie] Inspired by the infinite adventure of space travel, this flavor is described as the blue raz indulgent sweetness of blue raspberry flavors and electrifying hues, bringing you back to childhood memories of blue hued tongues during the summer. Blue hued tongues? ((Laughing)) See, Astro is blue, but then it’s yellow. – [Rhett] Cause you never see it, you just go, it goes right to your mouth. Unless you get your friend to look in your mouth. Well, your blue tongue, it doesn’t make your tongue blue. It doesn’t make your tongue blue. I’m not in, I’m not going for it. – [Stevie] D is Cosmic Vibe. The Cosmic Vibe, inspired by a mystic galaxy, is a vibrant and juicy fruit punch flavor with exotic and sweet notes of strawberry, lemon, orange, mandarin, and blueberry. Well, see, this one’s red. But that was not what it was. – [Rhett] This is dumb. ((Laughing)) I mean, they’re sitting around, they’re sitting around taking themselves real seriously. You know what I mean? I don’t like the can either. It’s got too much information on it. Too much information. It’s got little icons down here, like. I don’t even know where to look. It has a running icon, a biking icon, and a yoga icon. And it implies that other cans would be for different activities, but they all have the same activities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Stevie] E is Oasis Vibe. The Oasis Vibe is described as a bright and succulent prickly pear cactus flavor. A fusion of watermelon, kiwi, and bubblegum flavors that are combined with a zesty citrus finish. And F is Arctic Vibe. The Arctic Vibe that packs an icy chill of refreshing frozen berry flavor. Oh, we did know about berries. We said that. Arctic berry. And we said it would be blue. And it was. But it’s not blue. Y’all can’t even make the cans match. I feel like. ((Laughing)) We need to come to y’all’s headquarters and give you paper cuts. ((Laughing)) That’s what we’re doing. Oh, man. Consider this a threat. I feel like I ran to my bike and found out that my yoga class was canceled. That’s how I feel. We’re gonna be in Boca Raton tomorrow. With a, with a stack full of printer paper. ((Laughing)) Banging on the front door. I thought you were making, I thought you had transitioned to an ad. We’re gonna be in Boca Raton tomorrow. ((Laughing)) You wanna come out and sit? I was like, really? Oh crap, it’s the paper cut boys! They’re here! So many pink houses. Fully stacked! All the, all the houses are pink in Boca Raton. I mean, think about us coming up to your front door. Every single one. Think about us coming up to your front door. We got a stack of paper in a backpack, and then both of us just going. Just breathing heavy, fogging up your front door. Just think about that. Your front door is glass. Yeah. Yeah. Your front door is glass. ((Laughing)) Y’all better not open it. Somebody comes in. That’s the storm door, man. Somebody comes in with, with the. The storm. They have another door. It’s a company. – Oh. – It’s a company, man. Oh, really? It’s not somebody’s house. I’m not going to the, I’m going to the, I’m going to the place where they make it. In Boca Raton? Yeah. Boca Raton. Is that where they make it? We’re gonna be there tomorrow. ((Laughing)) Man, if you’re gonna be a paper cut boy, you gotta keep up. ((Music)) My head hurts. – [Link] Don’t miss February’s Pin of the Month. Me as a freaking peanut butter jar! Available today only at Mythical.com