Welcome to Good Mythical More. Listen, I know that you’re upset. Costco replaced their churro with this newfangled cookie, and is it worth it? We’re gonna decide for ourselves and also compare it to some other stuff that you can also get at Costco. Right, but first, fortunately, we gotta give our quarterly report on our new business, Parkour for Seniors. Well. It was a great idea, right? Get the seniors out there jumping around, but they wanted to go straight to the rooftops. What’s up with the seniors just always wanting to go for the gusto? Well, here’s the thing. We’re shifting. Building to building jumping. This is what we’re doing. We’re shifting our strategy. We started the year as Parkour for Seniors. And now we’re just gonna call it Casts, Braces, and Coffins for Seniors. Yep. Yep. Yeah, so, and mostly coffins, actually, is what we’re gonna be doing. So, basically, we’re starting a funeral home, if you can get into that. Right. But, we still, you can also do parkour. Right. We actually, we actually want, we want more people to do the parkour part. Right. Of a certain age, so it’s kinda like, you know, it’s, they’re incestuous businesses. Right. And the whole idea is that during the wake. And that’s the new name for it. During the wake where we’ve got the, usually a closed casket, to be honest with you at this point. Yeah. But we send people around on the wake, but we’ve created a little bit of an obstacle course. So, we’ve got a lot of oldies kind of just jumping over some things and stuff and kind of keeping it like in a sanctuary, keeping it low-key. And it’s very carpeted. And they seem to only be getting mildly hurt. No one, well, one person has died. Right. And then we just did a double funeral because of the opportunity. – Right, right. – And the cost effect of that. So we’re, we’re. So things are looking up is what we’re saying. We’re creating some synergy. Could I interest you in a sample, sir? Would you like some trail mix? Or maybe a chip? Salty chip please! You’d like a salty chip? Here’s a nice foldy for you. Oh, foldy. Alright. That’s the only sample you get today. It’s implied. Come and get a sample, that’s it. You’re not going to show up again later, are you? Maybe. Okay. These are the cookies, right? They are huge. We got enough to feed the whole crew. We’re going to break for lunch after this. Everybody gets a little piece of this cookie. Or the other things we’re going to compare it to. Grab your own. Oh! It is hot. They serve them hot. They charge you 2.50 Of course people are complaining about this because they replaced the churro. Only. ((Laughing)) The churro only cost $1.50 I mean, it’s a big cookie. You can barely handle it. Yeah, it’s huge. It says on their sign Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie served warm, all butter, bittersweet and semi sweet chocolate. I don’t know what all butter means. All butter? – It looks like it’s. – Yeah, it’s all butter. The best part’s the middle, so I’m gonna, I’m gonna give it the best shot it’s got by going straight for that. It’s a good cookie. It’s a solid cookie. A lot of chocolate. Most people would be excited about that, including me. When he says it like that, he means he doesn’t like that. I don’t. Like chocolate in your cookies. I don’t think that there’s anything amazing about it. I’m not much of a cookie guy. Like, I don’t typically order a cookie as a dessert. But, I usually eat cookies if they’re handed to me. By strangers. Well, could I interest you in a, in a piece of, flat, what is that? A cracker? Why would I want a sample of that? You want a cracker? What about, what about some, some juice? I would like some juice, please. Would you like to try some of, this is a special Costco blend of. Orange juice. Orange juice, pineapple juice, mango juice, and L.A. River water. I believe it was just orange juice, but it was quite nice. Oh yeah, let me try that. That’s a good cookie. I haven’t had the churro, so I can’t comment on it. But I feel like, Link, you’re somewhat disqualified because you don’t like chocolate in your chocolate chip cookies. No, I like a chocolate chip cookie, and I, don’t put words in my mouth. I never said that. Well, you said. But the ratio of chocolate chips to the cookie is a factor. But you don’t like cookie dough that’s got chocolate chips in it. And you know what cookies are made of? That’s the best way to do it, in my mind, but it, I like a chocolate chip cookie, but this one is real heavy on the chocolate chip. I think it’s packed with chocolate. You’re gonna pay 2.50 you better get, and it’s called Double Chocolate Chunk, you better be getting some chocolate. I mean it’s, 2.50 is cheap, but, the hot dog and the soda combination is only a $1.50 Right, which is this. – But, we’re gonna. – People love that. First thing we’re gonna do is we’re gonna compare it to If you were to just go into the bakery section of the Costco. And just get, oh! Turn that over here. A chocolate chip cookie. Or an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. Or a macadamia nut cookie. I’ll go for the chocolate chip. I wanna do apples to apples here. Speaking of that, can I have some apple juice? Oh, yeah, yeah. Would you like a sample of apple juice? Yes. There you go. And can I interest you in our amazing egg roll piece? Oh, that was nice. Want some egg roll? Eventually. I’ll come back around. Let’s go to the cookie. So, it’s not hot. Much softer. A warm cookie’s nice. But I like the taste of this cookie better. It tastes much more manufactured than as if it was coming from a package. But doesn’t it taste better? No, but it tastes more like a Chips Ahoy soft batch. Or a soft batch, which again, that’s what you like. You like that thing that tastes like it came from a machine when it comes to a cookie. This is a better cookie, man. Is it a better cookie? Let me try again. There’s not a, there’s no contest. This tastes like Mrs. Fields had a field day. That’s a great cookie. Sporked says that you can make it better by putting salt on it. So, if you think it’s better, is it even better with salt? And this is a special salt. Like a flaky? This is a Walden salt. Maldon Salt. Maldon Salt. What’s a Maldon Salt? I like it. – [Stevie] It’s like a flakier, large salt that you usually use for baking, but I’ve been using it for everything. You’ve been using it? – [Stevie] I’ve been using it. It’s a gourmet sea salt harvested in the English town of Maldon, Essex. – [Stevie] Pinch pot, a little pincher. You got a little pinch? You take a little pinch? – [Stevie] Took a little pinch. Could I interest you in a cheese sample? I’m getting a little full, to be honest with you. Yeah. Well, it’s here if you want it. It’s good to know that they’re there. When’s the last time you’ve been to Costco? We have a, we don’t have a family membership. We have a membership as a corporation. Don’t we? Still? I get intimidated by it. I like a place with samples. But, the racks. I don’t know. It’s just very, everything looms. It intimidates me. – [Stevie] You intimidated by a big rack? ((Laughing)) Yes, do you? Well, I tried to make this pretty, but. – [Link] If they, when they loom over me, yeah. They gave us the dredges of the mustard and so I can’t get pretty with this. So, sorry. I’m not going to take the blame on that. Can you just concentrate it on the end? So, we’re going to compare eating a hot dog and a soft drink to eating a cookie. Yeah, we are. That’s, that’s who we are. Look, it’s a sesame seed bun at the Costco. Did you know that? $1.50 for a hot dog and? People swear by these. I’m going to take the mustard that you put down here and I’m going to put it down here. People love these hot dogs. Would you like some Maldon Salt on your hot dog? I don’t think I do. No. – [Rhett] I’m a savory man. That’s a decent hot dog. That’s a good hot dog. For a dollar fifty? And you get the drink? That’s kinda crazy. The issue with the Costco is that I don’t have like, we already end up with a problem of like, disorganization in our like, cabinets and closets and stuff. Yeah. And, if we get more than like, two things of paper towels. We start running into problems. Like, we, have a spot under the stairs. Which we thought at one point was going to be like a little place for the kids to play. Then the kids grew up. And then we were like, oh, this is a perfect place for the dogs to have their, have a little space. And then, that never worked. They don’t go under. Now it’s just toilet paper and paper towels. Oh, it’s like a little Costco. It’s our little Costco. And we’ve got, and there’s no more room at the end. You know what I’m saying? Like, I don’t. I just want to say that I do love a big rack, but go ahead. Great, I’m glad you’re on the record for that. I just wanted, I felt like, I felt like there was a hanging Chad, so to speak, and I just needed to go back and, I just wanted to, I just wanted to really be on the record, but keep going. Anyway, I’m just saying I don’t have room. There’s not a lot of room under there. I don’t mind, I don’t mind a big rack, you know, of Costco. I like big racks and small racks. Really. I have a big cabinet of overflow stuff in the garage. Oh, you got a Costco in the garage. Yep. It’s more than what you got. Does anybody frequent Costco and do you have a place for all the stuff? First of all, if you do, go to Sporked. Because, they can help you. They got their eye out for the best new Costco products. Whatever’s on their racks. If you just search Costco at sporked.com you can find rankings, grocery hauls they can tell you what you should be getting. But that’s why it’s so big in like the Midwest and the South because everybody’s house is so big. Everybody has space there. It’s just like you got closets and that just got nothing in them. Rooms! You got rooms that are like, what are we gonna do with this room? That doesn’t happen out here. We could turn it into our own personal Costco. – [Matt] You know, in many states, you don’t need a Costco membership to go in there and buy the bulk alcohol. Because it’s a sort of loophole, because you can’t, something about memberships to buy alcohol or whatever. Really? – [Matt] Yeah. Because you can’t force people to be a member of something to buy alcohol? – [Matt] Something like that. That’s interesting. You ever heard of a fraternity? So you just get, you just get cases from there? And what’s the other one? Try this. Try the egg roll. Sam’s Club. Try the egg roll, you’ll like it. Didn’t Sam used to own Costco? What happened? – [Stevie] I think it’s owned by Walmart. Sam’s Club. Yeah. But they’re different, right? Yeah. Our egg rolls are not great. No. Yeah, that’s why you sampled them, so you know not to buy them. That’s not the taste I want in my mouth right now. Yeah, that was not good at all. Now I gotta eat a hot dog again. I would recommend the hot dog, honestly, over the, over the cookie. I would too. But the fact that they make it warm, and it’s still only 2.50 If you like a cookie, and you like a lot of chocolate in your cookie. Yeah, then you’ll like this. Maybe bring a little bit of that salt with you. Bring a little salt pocket. The things that I. Reach into it. Here’s what I keep on bulk at my house. I want to know what y’all keep on bulk at your house. In bulk. I’m saying on bulk, but I should say in bulk. I’ve gotten hooked on these, these waters called Topo Chicos. Have you heard of it? No, that’s the first. I have cases of Topo Chico, and I just, I pick up a case and I put it in the fridge, and then when, and I open it, and when that thing gets low, I put the next case in there. And then I, over there in my thing, I have like. You have a backup. I have backup cases. It’s not easy to find. When you find it, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta stack up. I also have, these little cans of oat milk lattes. Like, iced oat milk lattes from, not Columbo. What’s the brand name? It’s like, it’s kind of like Columbo. Anyway, I have, oat milk latte. Kojak. Case, cans. And then, if I want to get, if I want to go to the next level, and I always have those. I never want to run out of those. That’s like my weekend, midday caffeine treat. Okay. And then if I go more, La Colombe. Yep, that’s the brand. After that, I’ve started to make sure that I have, coconut waters. I like those individual coconut waters. So the things that you have in bulk and backup is all drinks? All drinks. Nothing that’s not a drink? Toilet paper. Okay. I would say paper towels, but that’s not good for the environment. So, I’m not going to say it. You don’t use paper towels at your house. You just use a wash rag. Right. Everything’s wash rag. Of course. All the time. So that, that’s the main thing, my beverages. And then if I’m gonna get real fancy, I’m gonna have like some Coke Zeros up in there. And when Lincoln lived in the house, he was more the Coke Zero. Coke Zero is fancy, I’ve always thought that. God. It’s more fancy than those individual lattes that you have. Oh, lattes that you have. And coconut waters. I love, I love an ice cold coconut water on a hot day. So I’m just waiting for it to get hot again. So I can, I can get back on my coconut water for the electrolytes. So, have you sworn off LaCroix at this point? There’s no LaCroix? I’ve sworn off, I swore off the LaCroix’s when my stomach started getting, I started getting that, like, heartburn. But you still drink Topo Chico? Yeah, I can’t, yeah, once I cut down drastically on every other, bubbly water. Oh, but you’re just saying that. That’s my treat, still every night. You’re already doing that. But I would have had like three LaCroixs during the day and I don’t do that anymore. I don’t do that. I think it also gave me the farts. Remember? Oh, I remember. – Right. – Yeah. So, it’s kind of fixed that. What do you keep on bulk, homie? I keep saying on bulk. I don’t know. It’s like on fleek. LaCroix. LaCroix and diet, caffeine free, Pepsi is what Jessie likes, and I’m kind of like indifferent. Diet, caffeine free, Pepsi? And I’ll do diet, caffeine free, I don’t do any, we don’t have any caffeinated drinks in our house. Except coffee. I’ve eaten so much, I’m sorry. Free samples for everybody! I’m gonna go around the bullpen in a little bit. Yeah, I don’t have any caffeinated, there’s no Coke Zero, there’s caffeine free Diet Coke. They don’t make a caffeine free Coke Zero, I don’t think. Do they? They do? They make a caffeine free Coke Zero? I’m sure they do. You know what they don’t do? They don’t make a caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper. – [Crew Member] They do. They do? They do? – [Crew Member] You can get them in Utah. I gotta go to Utah? I gotta get a Utah contact. Well, you can probably just order them on Amazon. – [Stevie] Would you like to call the Utah Costco? Yeah, I will. Is it gonna be Jordan? – [Stevie] No. What do you keep on bulk, Stevie? – [Stevie] Oh, the Utah Costco is the biggest one in the world. I’m sorry, you asked, you asked me what? What do you keep on bulk? – [Stevie] I have such a small house, there’s no room to put anything. Nothing on bulk? – [Stevie] And so. How about Band-Aids? – [Stevie] No. How many Band-Aids you got? – [Stevie] Yeah, I mean, Cassie goes through a lot of Band-Aids, I will say. That’s what I thought. – [Stevie] And then, sometimes the, like, Trader Joe’s chili crunch. We eat a lot of, like, chili crunch in our house. The chili oil? – [Stevie] Yeah. You don’t want to run out. So you, you got like a backup to that? – [Stevie] Exactly. There’s a number of things that I have, I have a backup to my, my kefir. Kefir backup. I keep a backup to my kefir. Yeah, you gotta have a backup kefir. Yeah, and my coffee beans. Yeah, you can’t run out of coffee. People start turning on each other when you run out of coffee. Flaxseed. Gotta stay regular. Flaxseed. Well, I mean, what else? You know, I, how do you keep, you have a garage, man. You keep stuff in your garage. I keep, okay, alright. That’s what I’m looking, I’m imagining, I’m going in my memory palace that is my garage. Peanut oil. The things that I have in bulk, peanut oil, pickle juice, because of, if I want to do a big thing of fried chicken sandwiches for a lot of people. You gotta be ready. And so, I actually have a fair amount of pickle juice and, peanut oil at the creative house, too. In one of those closets. Yeah, you do. Because I bought, like, eight of them each at one point. And it’s not in the garage. If we have a leak, it’s gonna go into my office. It’s not gonna leak. I mean, they can leak. No, they’re not gonna leak. They’re turned sideways. It makes me uncomfortable. They’re turned sideways? Yeah. I didn’t do that. That’s all you got though? What about coconut water? What about that fridge out there? You got a garage fridge. There’s coconut water in there sometimes, but it’s not, we’re not very disciplined about the coconut water, but that is a good thing to have on standby. Really, really, electrolytes are really hydrating. ((Music))