Welcome to Good Mythical More. Are you gluten-free or wish you were? Well, these are the things that you should eat. Wish you were. You’re gonna wish you were. Usually it’s a you have to be. I know, I know, but after tasting these snacks, you’re gonna wanna be. But first, we’re going to list them all, animals that can eat you. Tiger. Rhinos. All right, okay, we’re done. Hold on, a rhino can’t eat you? A rhino is a herbivore, man. It won’t eat you. What, what’s the horn for? I don’t know, but it’s not for eating The second animal, the first animal you said. My first animal. Rhinos. It did sound like you were about to say lobsters, Rhett, after that. Well, I might as well have. Hold on. Lobsters probably could eat you, though. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ve been so afraid of rhinos. Well, you should be, because they can kill you, but they’re not gonna eat you. They will kill you. So, just out of spite? Like, in your everyday life, you’ve been afraid of rhinos? Yeah. I was afraid they were going to eat me. You would see them at the zoo. You know, Gwynedd come in here and help me out. If rhinos could also eat you, they would be even, they would be the scariest land animal there is. I know, right? Maybe you’re thinking about hippos? I was thinking about hippos. I don’t think they eat you either. They don’t eat you, but they will kill you with their mouths. Violently destroy you. Oh, they’ll eat you. Hippos will eat you. Oh, they’ll eat you. I don’t think they’ll swallow you on purpose. I think they will bite you and crush your skull. Wait, hippos? Hippos, yeah. Yeah, I could see that. Gwynedd, you’re doing, you’re doing good work. You scared of rhinos? You’re bringing it to us. Yeah, terrified. Even more now. And you should see the way they poop. When was the last time you went to the zoo? It’s been years, actually. Have you guys been to the zoo more recently than that? I’m anti-zoo. I thought about going. It’s too scary, right? I thought about going recently. A lot of walking. And I just didn’t make it happen. A lot of feeling sorry for animals. That’s what I was going to say. I think the experience of it is very different than it used to be when you were a kid. Because you’re like, they’re sad. Yeah, but they got big, I mean, it’s not like it’s the Griffith Park Zoo that you walk by out there anymore. They’re not in cages. I mean. Big old cages. Most of them are in like habitats, they get fed and stuff. You know, I’m not talking, like. We’re the ones in the enclosure. Whales, that’s a. You put a whale in an enclosure, but it got a little, an otter. Like, I mean, he’s probably happy. Have you seen the otters? They swim on their backs. I mean, it’s great. They seem happy everywhere, but I think they just have a grin plastered on their face. Oh my god, it’s all an act? Yeah, it’s all an act. What you been doing? What you been tasting? So, we’ve been tasting a lot of gluten-free stuff lately, because I think it’s like, helpful to people. Sporked being a service, and we taste things that we like, want to recommend to people, and sometimes it’s like, people with dietary restrictions need recommendations too, so. Of course. We have been trying. So, okay. Basically we’re always trying gluten-free stuff and lately I feel like it’s getting better. Like the landscape’s getting better. Oh, yeah? Yes. So we just redid our gluten-free pizza ranking and we were like, well, there’s like really good ones. So, I wanted to share them with you. And this is, this is Beecher’s. I had somebody suggest that I get Beecher’s cheese and I actually ordered like Beecher’s cheese. Just, delivered straight to my house at one point. Did you like it? It was so good. I think it’s really good, too, so this is Beecher’s gluten free mac and cheese I mean, that’s good. Not, not eating it right next to something which of course you wouldn’t. Do you need gluten in mac and cheese? I think. I don’t think so. I know the pasta is really good, right? I think, I would just add some pepper maybe a little bit of salt, but that, that’s fair game, right? Yeah, I think that the. Ooh, that’s good. I wouldn’t suggest you add salt, since if you ate this whole thing, you would have 1,700 milligrams of that. Ooh! Oh, really? 1,000 calories per container. That is, that’s not just good mac and cheese, gluten-free mac and cheese. That’s good mac and cheese. That’s what I think, too. Well, it says world’s best on the box, so. I mean, let’s not get too excited. I mean. Sounds like they’ve earned it. It’s a bold claim, but. Well, wait, it’s in quotes, so, what is the actual? Who are they quoting here? That lady on the box. Beecher. Well, there’s a guy on the back. Our customers say it best. This is Stephen B. from Tucson, Arizona. Oh, does he say world’s best? That’s who’s being quoted? Stephen B. No, no, no, he’s just on the back. Now, he looks, if we can zoom in on him, he looks like a guy that would have a Twitter account that you probably wouldn’t want to follow. That’s really funny. He looks like. You know? He’s like Gary Busey, but cooler because he’s wearing sunglasses. The B stands for Beecher, by the way, so I don’t know if you can trust that guy. Yeah, yeah, he is a Beecher, he is a Beecher. I actually think that the, the quotes make it legal to say that and it’s not a claim. Right. But Stephen B. did say, love you, Beechers. Your frozen products are some of the best I’ve ever eaten, especially your mac and cheese. Well, I mean, Sporked agrees, and now so do we’s. We might get Stephen B. on the Sporked team. – See how that works out. – Well, that would be fun. Okay. That’d be fun. You wanna get to know a little Stephen B.? All right, let’s throw this over there. We might want more of it. This is number one at this point, if we are ranking these. There you go. What’s next? Okay, next, why don’t we try, how about a pizza? Sure. How about, a pepperoni pizza? Okay, this is a pepperoni pizza. Yeah, so that is. We’re just gonna eat the frozen version? Just go for it? Oh, no, you’ve already made one. Got it. There we go. Take and bake. What brand is this? Oh, cauliflower crust. This is Mama Cozzi, and this is an Aldi pizza. Now, they don’t have anybody on the back saying anything. Oh my god, Stephen. Stephen needs to write a letter to them. Hey. So, this is, yeah, it says gluten free, cauliflower crust. Not all cauliflower crust pizzas are totally gluten free, so this is special. That one there I already bit off of. Look at that. It looks like, school cafeteria pizza, and I mean that in a good way. Pepperonis are good. Yeah. The taste is good. They could go full bore with those. It’s hard to get the right crisp on a cauliflower pizza, but you know that’s what you’re getting. That’s why they make the word cauliflower so dang big. Cause you don’t want to get home and not know. I mean, not only did they put it on the front here, they’re like, just in case, we also put it in this big truck, idiot. All right, Stephen B, you’re watching? Idiot. It feels like bread. Wait, we went from wanting to hire Stephen B for Sporked, to now, Stephen B being an idiot that we’re chastising? Yeah, yeah. We’re gonna keep flip flopping. I know! He didn’t have anything to do with it. I do like that packaging. Like, it’s a nice box. Makes you feel cool. And that was not supposed to be a box reference. I just am saying that, you know how on like most pizzas, they have that thin, like, rip at it type of box, and this is like a. Yeah, in fact, we have another one that looks just like that. This is a box you can hold on to. Yeah. Yeah, you can send something back. Like a frisbee that went bad, you can send it back to the manufacturer in this box. And know it’s in there. Just drop it off at UPS. What is it? It’s a frisbee. You can see it. Stephen B. put it in there. It’s cauliflower, idiot. That’s great, actually. Taste wise. It’s not, it’s not real pizza. It’s cauliflower pizza. Yeah. For cauliflower pizza, it’s pretty darn good. Yeah, I like cauliflower pizza because it’s like got that chewy kind of crust. I think it’s. It does taste like bread. Okay. We’ll move it safely into second place. Okay. We’re probably. It’s no mac and cheese. Probably gonna shift, but we’ll see. How about, okay, since we just did a pizza, let’s just do another pizza. We’ll do them back to back. Okay. This is a completely different kind of pizza, though, because it’s a margherita pizza And it’s like, uh, Neapolitan style. Oh, okay. And take a look at that. It’s got chocolate, ice cream, it’s got chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Gluten-free dough. It’s sourced from the Campania region in Italy. Wow. Is that a quote from Stephen? Yeah. Does this have any quotes? No? Why is our freezing better? Cryogenic freezing. They’ve done a lot of things and they want to tell you about it. Not cauliflower. Very different. I love the sauce on this one. Because it reminds me of sauce that you get at an actual Italian restaurant on a Neapolitan pizza. Flavor wise, I like it, but when you go directly at bread. And you don’t include gluten in the bread. This is the kind of thing that if you eat gluten-free bread on a regular basis, maybe you’ve adjusted, but if you don’t eat gluten-free bread on a regular basis, you have not yet adjusted. Do you prefer it over the cauliflower, though? No, I don’t. All right. I kind of don’t either. Okay. All right. Cauliflower’s staying in second place for now. Because it’s kind of, it’s spongy. Because it doesn’t have gluten in it. I think that this would benefit from being, yes. I think it would benefit from being, like, overcooked. Probably. – Yeah, I think if you cooked it. – It would benefit from gluten. It would benefit from. Yeah, a little bit of gluten. If you cooked it until it got crispy. – Yeah. – It’s not bad, though. It, you know, it’s growing on me. On a pizza stone. How about that? There you go. I don’t have one. Run it back. Pizza stone. We do have a gluten bread, regular eating, person who has approached me with a request to taste that pizza and. Would that be Jenna? And that would be Jenna. Yeah! So, if you do want to. Jenna, come in here. You said gluten, you mean gluten-free? Yeah, that’s, that’s the, that’s the, that’s the cauliflower. Not the cauliflower. I already know what that tastes like. I want to know what this tastes like. Yeah. This is someone who’s, who’s barometer has not, has been adjusted. Meaning her taste buds don’t work quite as well. Oh, we got the green. Y’all are greenies. And we can put your quote on the back of the box now. Yeah. As long as it’s good. We’ll write it in. What do you think? I like it. Okay, see? Yeah, well. Yeah, because your standards are low. It’s okay. I mean, it’s fine. I don’t eat the gluten. It’s okay. Yeah, I know my standards are low. The taste is good. Yeah. The taste is good. The texture, for a gluten boy, I just can’t get with it. I am. It’s just like a deep dishy. It’s just like a squishy. What do you think of the shellfish in it? There’s none of that. I know that already. Deathly allergic. It’s a clam pizza. Definitely allergic, yes. It’s a clam pizza, Jenna. You all haven’t done that to me. Josh is the one who’s almost killed me a few times. This is fine. Right. Enjoy it. Take it on the go. All right, what’s next? Okay. She likes it. And she would move it above, but. Okay, it’s good. I’m glad. That makes me feel good. Look how good I feel right now. You look relaxed. Thanks. I feel incredibly relaxed, but I’m nervous because now I’m going to serve you people more bread and you’re gonna. Oh, us people? Maybe not like it. Okay, straight up Texas toast. Now that’s going to be hard. This is going to be hard without gluten. That’s, okay, so that’s the thing. Rudi’s Rocky Mountain Bakery. This is a straight up fat ass piece of gluten-free bread, Now, how does Stephen get the gluten out of the bread? Who does who? How does Stephen get the gluten out of the bread? I don’t know. Like, what’s his process? Well, and if it’s? You know? And what does Rudi do, if Stephen’s doing that? What does Rudi do? I think, Rudi is Stephen’s middle name. I would love to have Stephen be on the show. Can we show him one more? I’d just like to invite Stephen B to come on. He’s from Tucson. I mean, he’s in the next state over. Yeah. Come on in, Stephen. We’ve gotta have a Stephen B taste test. All of his faves. What do you think? Texture wise, it actually isn’t bad. Right? Taste wise Something off? Well, it’s. Eat a second bite. It’s still, it’s still like oven bread. Need a second bite? Oven bread? – It’s like. – What do you mean? I don’t, I just follow, I’m trying to follow along. Like, you’re just supposed to, like who puts bread in an oven? Good question. The people who make bread? No, the people who make toast, Rhett. There’s something satisfying about watching a man wearing, eating a piece of bread that has a piece of bread on his shirt. Oh, yeah! I was hoping you’d say something. Amazing. But. I’m fine with it. It’s getting better. It does get better. It gets better. It’s kind of greasy. I don’t know. I really like it. That should be their slogan. Rudi’s, It gets better. I think it’s taken, but that’s okay. In quotes, though. In quotes. If you put it in quotes, you can say it. It’s not the same as the other thing. Now, two bites in, I am definitely sold, and I think it’s better than both pizzas. Don’t you? Agreed. Oh my god. Amazing! I think that’s so impressive for just, like, a fat piece of gluten-free bread. You did it, Stephen. Woo! Oh my gosh, and now this? Okay, so now we have, a gluten-free chicken pot pie. Stephen, now he’s going by Blake. This is weird. And this is, yeah. Ooh, we got people in the back. He likes to keep people guessing, doesn’t he? He really does. Oh, that’s what, his last name is Blake! Stephen B. Stephen Rudi Blake. Gluten-free chicken pot pie. Okay. So, this actually made our, this wasn’t even a specific, this wasn’t like a gluten- free pot pie ranking. This made our best, chicken pot pie ranking. Because we thought this was so good, yeah. But we do like to also include gluten-free things, so. What? What y’all giggling about? We’re trying to find Stephen B. And Carney did a Google image search of that thing. And it’s just like a bunch of men wearing sunglasses that came up. Oh my god. Do they all wear sunglasses? Have you, like, that’s a meme, guys. It’s a meme. Middle aged white dudes wearing sunglasses in their profile pictures. Usually have a certain political perspective. Uh oh. Don’t let it burn you now. It’s hot. It’s like a flaky crust. I wouldn’t bat an eye at that crust. Right? Okay. I didn’t get any chicken, but. Stephen. I know, I didn’t really either. There’s like. Get a little bit of chicken this time. A lot of peas in here, but. This is good, let me get a little bit of that right here. Yeah, get that. Get in there. That’s just, that’s moving above the bread to me. Okay. It is. It’s not better than Stephen’s mac and cheese though. No way. All right. You putting it at number two? Hot. I’d put it at number two. I think it’s a little bit better than the gluten-free bread. Yeah, because I didn’t know the difference. So, we’re moving the pizzas down. And we’re putting that there. Cool. Did we go through everything? That’s it. That’s all I brought. Let’s go through it all again. You wanna eat some ice cream? I think we might have some. I would love to. Quite a bit. Okay. Ice cream’s gluten-free? Yes, yes. Stephen? Jenna? Depends on the toppings. Okay. Okay. The mix-ins. Well, thanks for your time, Stephen. Give our best to Tucson. It’s hot out there. I never actually got to see the picture of Stephen. I think he looks like, I don’t know. I think he actually looks like a nice guy. And he might be a great guy. I’m not worried about what he says online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as his Twitter bio isn’t husband, father. Skier that crashes into you and then says it’s your fault. Oh, you’ve had that happen? That’s what he looks like to me. Is that what he looks like? Yeah. I don’t remember what that guy looks like, but I like that. The guy who sued Gwyneth Paltrow. Well, it’s gonna be awkward when Stephen comes on the show now. I know. So you’re a skier, Stephen? Create your own Burp Bracket over on sporked.com and check out their soda rankings while you’re there.