Welcome to Good Mythical More! We are gonna try some notably new snacks that are worth your purchase according to Sporked. We haven’t tasted them yet, so I’m pretty excited. But first, let’s define a word that we’ve never heard. Okay. What’s the word? Tergiversation? Tergiversation? Tergiversation? Turgid means that it’s, like, tight. Usually that’s spelled T-U-R. Like a tight liquid? This is T-E-R. Oh, really? Tergiversation? Tergiversation! I think it’s when you make something. Tergiversation? When you make something tight. I think it’s when you, tergiver something. And I don’t know what tergiver is. Well, you gotta come up, you gotta come up with something, or you have to go with me. Okay, this is when there’s like a word and you add a ter to it. You give it a ter. All right. So, it’s like, Links-ter. Okay. Don’t be annoyed with me. I’m just trying to get you to do the assignment. And so I just did an example of tergiversation. So, who’s right? The act of making statements that deliberately hide the truth that avoid answering a question. Oh, I kind of did that. See, I was trying to tergiversate. – Oh, yes, you were. – And you forced me out of it. Gwynedd get in here before we tergiversate each other. Oh, my goodness. Hi! You’re tasting stuff, you’re posting it on TikTok. Yep. This one’s been on TikTok for a while now. I saw this one. So, I saw you eat this. Were you curious about it? Yeah. I didn’t scroll past. All right. Not that I usually scroll past you eating things on the. I sure hope not. This is a little bold. So, it’s a really crazy idea, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s wild. It’s a Lay’s potato chip that’s supposed to taste like, I hate saying it, but I have to, I think. Say it, girl! Rooty Tooty Fresh N’ Fruity, pancake breakfast at IHOP. What part of that do you not like saying? The rooty tooty part. The rooty tooty? Have you ever gotten excited and said, like, rooty tooty? Rooty tooty! What about rootin’ tootin’? Rootin’ tootin’, yeah. You ever said that? Absolutely. But these are supposed to taste, I don’t know, but to potato chips. But have you though? Have I really? Yeah, well I asked you. Am I just tergiversating? Right, exactly. Tergiversating. No one has said the word the same way twice. I probably said rootin’ tootin’ before. I’m a maniac. Why does this exist? And you like it, apparently, because it’s here. Okay, not everyone on this work team liked these. But I really like them. Why? Cause they’re weird and crazy and they really do taste like what they say they’re gonna taste like. Well that’s true but it doesn’t need to exist and it’s. Well. It’s, I just don’t like sweet chips. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta say, I really didn’t wanna like it. Even as I started eating it, I was completely opposed to it. I thought that it’s, almost an offense to food. You know what I’m saying? Is there a but coming? But I’ve eaten three now. And now I’ve eaten four. No. No, you haven’t. Yes, you have. I just kept eating them too. Y’all are just rootin’ and tootin’. Which one of you is rootin’ and which one of you is tootin’? No, we’re rooty and tooty. Rooty and tooty. Who’s fresh and who’s fruity? You could have been fresh and fruity if you wanted to, but you’re not invited to the party anymore. I’m not fresh or fruity today. I know. But this needs to be a limited time thing, right? I don’t even like, you know like the Hawaiian chips that are like, sweet? I don’t even like those, so I’m just kinda like, if you like a sweet chip, like, Gwynedd over here. I don’t think I normally would, but there’s something so compelling about this. It actually makes it more dessert and less chip. Like, the dessert is leading. And the fact that it tastes so much like a pancake, too. It’s kinda, kinda wild. I just feel like, this is, it’s kinda fitting for the, like, the downfall of our culture. Oh my God. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, this is what we’re eating as, we just run around on motorcycles with people on leashes. Yep. This is our Mad Max. You know what I’m saying? It’s just like, give me your fruity pancake. So, so we are on. This is currency in 30 years. And, there’s people on leashes running at the speed of a motorcycle? Oh no, they’re on a skateboard. Okay, good. Being dragged behind the, the, and this is how you, this is what you feed to the people on your leashes, That’s five. I know, I guess I’m a leash person then. Minus a little bit that just fell out of the. Oh, you want to be on the leash. I mean, if I get to eat these all day, sure, why not? I think in the apocalypse, you actually would prefer to be the person on the leash, honestly. Because when the person whose leash you’re on is killed, you just end up on the next person’s leash. They don’t kill you too. Okay They’re like, oh, that guy’s on the leash, well he can be on my leash now. What’s the benefit of having a leash person in the apocalypse? They don’t run away. No, okay, so just companionship? I mean, I don’t know. It depends on your particular, your needs. Your relational needs. All right. Oh my goodness. So this is another wild one. Have you freaking kidded me? So, Hidden Valley is releasing seven new flavors of ranch dressing. Why? I don’t know. Because they can. Garlic Ranch. Cheez-It Cheezy Ranch. So, okay, so this is the Cheez-It Cheezy Ranch that we’re gonna try first. And I want you to tell me what you think about it. Well, that’s it. We knew that. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m not gonna tell you what to do. I mean, what? If you said, I want you to taste it and don’t tell me what to do. Yeah, taste it and shut up. You wouldn’t think that cheese and ranch go together. But, when we did that Mythical Muncher Dog. At that Mythical Cookbook event, and Josh’s idea was to put ranch and cheese on a hot dog, and I thought it would be more than I could take, but it wasn’t. I just did a lick daddy. And this is in the same place. This is like those two flavors meeting again in one sauce. Can you tell that I love it? I’d feed it to my leash person. Okay. Can you tell that it’s Cheez-It cheese? I would not say that it’s, I would just say cheese. I would say almost like nacho cheese, to be honest with you. I think it just isn’t cheesy enough, period. But, I wanted, so this is another one of the ranch dressings that Hidden Valley came out with that I think is actually more exciting. Okay, alright. I don’t hate it, but you’re right. I mean, if it was more cheesy, you might forget that it was ranch. I’m just gonna squirt it on the plate, okay? Okay. Is that good? That was a little, that was a little tooty of you. So, this is the garlic ranch. Oh man, I got to. I got too many fries. I really flipped my lid for this stuff. Oh, these fries are really sticky. Whoa. Whoa. I have to drink, y’all. Y’all, y’all go on without me. All right. Go on without me. This is working. That’s really strong. What is? I, see, I think it tastes exactly like the cup of like garlic. Papa John’s garlic butter. Exactly. And look, the pizza being dipped on it. Mixed with ranch. It tastes exactly like that. They nailed it. Isn’t that so good? They nailed it. It, I don’t think there, I’m not, I’m only getting Papa John’s garlic. I’m not getting butter. I’m not getting ranch at all. Ranch, really? And I don’t need it. The creaminess of that sauce though. Yeah. There is a, like a creamy version. This is dangerous, kids. It’s not that dangerous. Well it’s, I’m not saying it’s flammable. I’m saying it’s, it’s you might eat a lot. Gluten free. Yeah, it’s gluten free, man. It’s, it’s so much better than this one. This one could have been something. Yes, I agree. Yep. You’re right. That was my point. It looks so great with your, your fit today. Thank you. This is moving to, I don’t know if we’re ranking these. Are we ranking these? Yeah, I thought you’d. A little distance makes it, makes it work. But if you’re, if I get right up on it. We’re not ranking them, we’re just tasting them. Okay. No pressure, guys. Hey, let’s rank them. Okay, then ranch is in first place. Cause what, what else are we gonna do with them? Can we rank them, Carney? Okay. Yay! This is the. This is last place. Okay. Oh, you, no. Rooty and Tooty love this. Yeah, y’all did. Tooty over here. Oh, my goodness, y’all. Is this a limited time for that garlic stuff? No, I think that this, I think these are just out now. I think. But, I hope they keep that one because that’s so good. The only way you can get it right now is in the pizza container. So it’s like. Yeah. It’s the, I think you need it. I think you need it in your house. I think it’s a must buy. And then we have some new M&M’s. Is that fun? I think it’s fun. What are they? This is Easter Sundae. It’s a pun. Oh, sundae with a A-E. But, well, are they expired? It’s kind of late for that. Oh, are they year round? I think these will probably be out all spring, like past Easter. These stuff, I feel like these are on shelves for a little while. So, they’ve got like a, they’ve got layers. White and dark chocolate. They’re big and kind of fat. So, it’s kind of like an ice cream flavor on the inside? One of them kind of tastes like cake. Okay. I think it has a very prominent cherry flavor. It doesn’t even say that on that part. On the front of the package, but then it says it on the back. And it tastes like a chocolate covered cherry to me, and I think it’s really good. Yeah, and I’m a chocolate covered cherry person. A lot of people don’t know that about me. Am I getting cherry from all of it, or just the red ones? Some liquid would come out. Did you have, did you have chocolate covered cherries? Like, was that a gift at your home? Like, my mom would, would, would give me, like that set of 12. And I would, every time, I would think to myself, I’m really gonna cherish these this time. Cherry-ish them. I’ve got 12 of these, I’m gonna take 12 days, it’s gonna be like my own little Hanukkah, I don’t know how many days there are in Hanukkah, and I’m not Jewish, but I’m like, I’m really gonna take my time to get through these, and then like seven minutes later I’ll be on the last one, eating it. Hating myself. I know, the kind that had like, it was like, ;ike a gel inside kind of, and then like, those are so good. And there’s something so fake, there’s something so fake about them, that’s what I love, it’s like, this isn’t even a real cherry. Yeah. I love it. But those, yeah, those are like. Rooty and Tooty at it again over there. I’m all for this. I like it better than the Lay’s. Okay. I’m willing to do that. I really like them too. White chocolate, dark chocolate. What do we have here, Mrs. Stuart? Okay, so these are. “Steward”? No. “Steward”? No, it’s just Stuart. Right. But it’s got like two W’s? No. It’s got two Y’s? No. Your first name has like a couple of Y’s in it, I believe. Your first name has two N’s and two D’s and two G’s, right? I think it’s just consonants. Yeah. Like, did your parents know about vowels? No. Okay. No. So, the last name is just a straight up Stuart? It’s got two W’s. I know it does. When I picture your last name, it has two W’s and two T’s on the end. What did your parents do for a? What kind of cult were your parents in? Oh, my God. The vowel-less kind? I don’t know. What do they do for a living? How do they scratch it together? They’re retired. I’m old, you know that. But I mean, what, what, what, what, what, what, what’s, what’s their line of work, where do they come from, what’s their lineage? Okay, okay, they were, you know, blue collar kind of people. Okay, so, like circus, circus workers. They were drug dealers. Hey, Jay-Z was a drug dealer. You’re making it sound really shaky. Whatever it was. They were blue collar types. Yeah, yeah, they were. Yeah, independent contractors. Okay. All right. I see. This is, this is a little sus. They help people swim with the fishes. What are these? So, these are Pop-Tarts Bites. They’re like Pop-Tarts, but they’re bite sized. But this is a flavor of, okay, so this is Frosted Cinnamon Roll, and this used to be a flavor of Pop-Tart that people liked a whole lot that was discontinued, but now you can get it in bite form. So, I think this is important to people. What do we think? They, they’re a different consistency than a regular Pop-Tart. They’re more, airy. But it does make you feel like, you’ve eaten a Pop-Tart without eating a Pop-Tart. Yeah. And usually I eat two because there’s two in there. And they’re dry, you know, by the time you eat a whole one you’re parched, but this is just kinda nice. And are these the only flavor that they’ve released in Bites so far? There’s like strawberry, I think there’s a few other flavors too. These are nice, you itching down there? I’m wearing tights in them, my legs are kind of itchy. Okay. I’m giving you such a hard time. But I mean, you’re scratching. Thanks for noticing. Scratching your kneecap. I feel like that could be, potentially a cereal. Yeah. Pour some milk on it, if they get a little parched. I know, stop. Jesus. I honestly, I hate to do this to you, Gwynedd, but I just feel like, just from a practical standpoint. Hit. These are, you know, you’re gonna like, this is a less weird snack. This is your show. You’re more likely to go back to these. Yeah, I really. They’re not supposed to be ranking. I really like those, and I like how much frosting we have on them, too. Oh, I’m excited about these. I wonder if this gives it a run for their money. Lay it on us. Okay, these are Milanos that are flavored to taste like a London Fog, which is an Earl Grey latte. Yes, they are so good. I wasn’t aware of this being like a coffee shop trend until I tried these cookies. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, there’s a really good pie at, The Pie Hole, is that where we get those pies? Earl Grey tea pie. It was, so I’m hoping that it’ll be reminiscent of that. It sounds so good. Why does it taste like a Froot Loop to me? – I kind of get what you’re saying. – It’s an aromatic From the tea. Yeah. Wow. Do you like it? I love it. I love it. This is my favorite of everything so far. I like it. I love them. I love these so much. I like it because it tastes like a Froot Loop. And dipping these in milk. Have you done that? You dip these in your tea. Yes, queen. Your head’s gonna explode. Yeah. I’m putting them at number one. Yas. Number one? No, it doesn’t go above the garlic ranch. Yeah, it does, right? No, it doesn’t. I am not getting between you two when it comes to this. Okay. I think they’re incredible. Oh, wow. I think they’re a revelation. I’m over here anyway. What, what is happening? Look, look, look at this, y’all. Okay. So, here’s something else. Gwynedd, you have to defend yourself on this one. What in the world? Okay, I’m like, I’m like a little iffy on these. Old El Paso. They’re Old El Paso Stand n’ Stuff Taco Shells that are coated in Cinnadust. Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnadust. Here’s the thing. I, when I saw that these were coming out, I envisioned that they would be made out of like, I don’t know, like a, like flaky, airy, kind of like flour tortilla situation, but it’s corn. So, they really are just corn tortilla shells that are covered in cinnamon. Do you think, not to get theological on you, but do you think that God looks down and sees that we have done this and then begins to set the clock on ending all of? Yeah, I mean, the sooner the better, baby. What do you mean? I mean. This is like, this is what Japanese cuisine has been for years, man. You mean weird mixes like this? Yeah. – Yeah. – Yeah. God sees Japan, man. This is on Japan, not us. I don’t, there’s just something about, there’s something about it being done in America that makes it feel extra, extra wrong. Because we’re above it? No, I’m just saying. We’re below it like. We’ve already, everything is just so excessive. It feels like they’re doing it for fun in Japan, but in America, we’re actually eating it all. You know what I’m saying? It’s like. They’re laughing while they’re doing it. Right, they’re doing it ironically, and we’re doing it unironically. We’re like, yeah. So, answer the question, Gwynedd. What? What does God think? When is God gonna end the world, Gwynedd? I really. I don’t like biting ice cream. I don’t know, but I will remember that it’s partly my fault. Yeah. That is what you’re kind of saying, Rhett. Okay, well now that I eat it, I like it. Okay. Good. What do you like about it? The corn? It’s so corny. I like the texture. It’s like a cannoli. Okay. It’s like a cannoli. – Yeah, but. – I can’t help myself. It’s pretty hard to eat. Yeah, but taste it while you’re eating it. It’s, it’s, I tried not to do that. It’s just a corn tortilla with cinnamon on it. Everything she said, she’s right about what it led you to believe. That it’s horrible. Don’t listen to Rhett. I think I’d probably prefer an ice cream cone. To be honest with you. I think that these are fun. And people should buy them because they’re fun. And then like throw out half of the package or something. It’s so bad. Once they’ve had their fun. It’s so bad. I just think it needs a warning on it. Put it in the compost. Yeah. Warning, for fun only, not to actually eat. Yes. I think it’s worse than this. Okay. Wow! Okay. I see your side. That’s fine. Alright. Oh, look at these coming hot. Do you guys like White Castle? I like the idea of White Castle. Well, it wasn’t as, it wasn’t hot until she said it was hot and then I realized it was hot. She like, Navya brought it in, with a hot glove. Well, I mean, I’m just gonna ask. Why’d you put it somewhere where I had to grab it? Hey, hey, is it hot? It actually wasn’t, it wasn’t that hot. But if you wanna move it, I would say use this. I don’t wanna, I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna reach onto the plate and get it. It’s not. So, what I’m hoping for in biting these is that White Castle has a thing where the burgers, they’re not really burgers. You know what I’m saying? They taste like something else. They taste like a fast food slider, which is not a burger. Not to be compared with burgers. And if it tastes just like those tastes, then I think it’ll be good. If they’ve captured that in a little hot bite. And it’s just cheeseburger? Yeah, but it’s like a pizza roll. I’ll just eat it off the table. They did it. Right? That’s what they taste like. That’s what I was hoping it would taste like. I, these grew on me a lot. Cause it’s like a fun idea. And I really like White Castle. And you would have to. Yes. It’s a very specific flavor. You’re right. If you like White Castle sliders, you’ll like these. Where’s the nearest one of those? I think these are better than a White Castle slider. Wow. But I don’t know that I’m saying much. I don’t think they’re better. Because you get the soft bun on top of those. I know. That’s the best part. And the onions and all of that. I love that. I think maybe Vegas is the closest one? That’s the closest one? We don’t have one in Southern California? I don’t think so. God smiles on Vegas. It’s so true. And their White Castle. That’s their, that’s their, that’s their slogan, right? God smiles on Vegas. All right. Are we, are we through everything? Can we summarize our choices? Yes. Well, I think I don’t. I’m gonna leave this right here. But I don’t, I think they’re a little bit better than the Pop-Tarts. I really like those M&M’s. Yeah. They’re not, they’re not at the top though. I mean, I mean, I’m Milano Earl Grey, but this is also a revelation. – Yep. – Yeah. So, you got dinner, you got dessert. If your dinner is a sauce. Really sophisticated choice, too, to put the Milano’s number one. God likes that. Yes, we’ve staved off the end of the world once again. Tell your parents happy retirement. I will. They’re in witness protection. The Sporked team is tirelessly taste testing groceries every day so you can buy only the best. Find what you’re looking for on sporked.com