Welcome to Good Mythical More. I don’t know what’s in my throat. What’s in my throat? Could be cheeseburger, could be a little hot dog. Could be a sports ball. Ooh, could be a really small sports ball. Yep, cause we have all sizes. We are going to rank sports balls today. I feel funny saying the, the term sports balls. It’s not some, it seems like I’m very out of touch with, like I’ve been living in a cave. Keep it that way. I don’t know, but we’re going to rank them because somebody needs to do it. Let’s first tell a 10 word story. Sports. Have. Evolved. Quickly. Due. To. Environmental. Conditions. That. Optimize. Muscular. Curvatures. And. Straightenings. Of. Athletic. Straps. Therefore. Professors. Have. Studied. All. Types. Of. Balls. And. Straps. Therefore. Sports. Balls. Are. Happening. Yeah. There we go. There we go. We got it. You can’t get anything past us. Sports have evolved quickly due to environmental conditions that optimize muscular curvatures and straightenings of athletic straps. Therefore, professors have studied all types of balls and straps. Therefore, sports balls are happening. Yeah! Can I make a proposal? Sports balls are happening. Can I make a proposal? Yeah. As a lover of balls, I think that we should consider each ball as if we do not have a point of reference for the sport that it comes from. Two men who have never seen sports, but only seeing balls. And this is just like, you get to keep one of these balls in your life. Okay. You know what I’m saying? Because it’s just like, I was a basketball player. I don’t want to have a bias towards a basketball just because I know how it feels. And I’ve touched that ball so often. Right. And I’m going to exercise the first, kick of the soccer ball. Which we both won. Which is the prize. So, yes. Crazy. It was close, but I made it. Oh, that keeper is so upset. Yes. Goal! They say. First ball. Batter, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter. It’s a bat ball. Bat it back and forth. Isn’t that, a thing that you do with basketballs? Like in a drill? I mean, I’m sure it could be, but if I like went to an NBA basketball game and I saw like LeBron and Anthony Davis, like, going. I would immediately go to a movie. Hold on now. That’s a type of pass, the touch pass, right? Yeah, I mean. Look at, look at the, look at the condescension on this guy’s persona. Did you ever go to basketball camp? No. Well, I, when the kids went to the basketball camp, I went in, I pilfered their dorms. But we’re, we’re supposed to not know that this is a basketball. This is an orange ball with black lines. No, that’s how we’re analyzing it. But between you and me, I want to know, isn’t this, it’s a touch pass. See? I know that. Yeah, it is a thing, but that’s not how it started. You said it, you called it a like boingy or what? I asked you what it was. It’s not, it’s not a common practice. Just, I mean, it’s like, you know, you don’t really see that in the practices anymore. Well, we need to bring that back. So this is a, this feels like a smaller ball. Yeah, it’s a 28.5 So this is not the 29.5, which I’m not supposed to know that. I don’t know anything about this. I don’t know where this is from. It’s just a round ball. And some of them are leather, but I would, I’m not, I don’t know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like it’s made to. This is a street ball. – To mimic. – Street shot. I wonder where the “NCAA” is. What is the “NCAA”? I don’t know. I think it’s, “N-sah”. It could be anything. It looks like it might have a bounce to it. Oh, that’s cool, I like that I like being able to bounce the ball. That is nice, and look, I can do that. See, how when I throw it, my wrist just kind of It feels very natural. I hit the microphone. Feels very natural. There it goes. Look at him, he bounces around. I knew I could get it. Alright, this is number one. This is number one so far. This is number one. I don’t know what it’s for. Love that. Oh, what about this? Oh, it’s a small ball. Might be able to put it in your pocket. That’s a hard ball. That’s a hard ball. Yep. Right there in the pocket. I wonder if it’ll come out my other pocket. Oh, that would be cool. Get it right here and try to pull it out the other pocket. Oh, nope. It won’t go through. I was about to say, if you were to, I think I might be able to get it. I think I might be able to get it out. You think you can put it in one pocket? I think I could go through, right? I think I could go through. I think I just, oh, my pockets a little bit small. And if I just really, if I just really, just really, Pull out of this pocket, boom. Wow, that’s crazy. That’s dad magic right there. Man, man, that’s pretty cool. Now does it bounce? – No. – No, don’t do that again. Oh, it’s so hard. And it’s got. Who would want such a hard ball? It’s got stitches like it’s been in an accident. Like why did that happen? It’s interesting how the pattern of it, like you got this, this thing. And then you’ve got another one that’s the same and then they, it’s like a yin yang. It’s almost like. Yin yang. It’s almost like you’re supposed to put your hand, your fingers, on the stitches. Oh, could you? And then do what? And then what? And then you would throw it. Okay, why? It feels like it needs to be thrown. It definitely feels like this is not a ball that you’re supposed to hold on to. This is a ball you’re supposed to get and throw. Yeah, don’t hold on to it too long. But it would hurt to catch it. It seems like you might need some protection. Some special mitt, perhaps. Some sort of glove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, look, like a glove like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Just like this. Let’s see if this helps. Oh, you’re gonna catch it with your right hand. I thought you might throw with your right hand. It’s a right handed glove. I thought you might need to throw with your right hand. So this, I mean, I guess in this game, you throw with your left hand. That would hurt if it were at a higher speed. Okay. Well, let’s see if, let’s see if. We tap it? Tap pass? Yep, okay. All right. That one’s not as good. It’s not a great tapping ball. That one’s not as good. We don’t like that one as much. But it does fit in the pocket. It fits in the pocket, but it doesn’t traverse to the other pocket. Oh my goodness. Look at this. This is like, Rhett, I have. I gotta get it. I gotta get it. I can’t get it. Oh, it’s lost forever. It’s lost forever. Oh, it’s a big one! We have a big, yellower version. Whoa, it’s a big one, just like the old one. It’s, so, it’s as if you want, it’s, I bet if you had like a, a bigger hand. Like a bigger female hand. I bet you’d want to grab this one. Is it softer? No, it’s the same. It’s the same thing but bigger. It feels a little softer. I don’t know. Is it soft? It is softer. What I find, as I hold it, I feel like I want to go underhand. Oh. Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling. You don’t look very manly doing it. Whoa. It’s a lot bouncier. I’m not trying to bring gender into this, but. Let me see if I can pocket this one. Oh no. It’s hard to pocket. This isn’t for pockets. It might be for like a pocket book. Right. You know what I’m saying? Yep, yep, yep. There it is. I got it in there. You have to sort of work it. Let me see if I can get it out of the other one. If you don’t know, this is the way to test balls. If you can’t move a ball from one pocket to the next without people knowing. It needs to bounce. It’s not a ball. No, it needs to bounce. Because this was number one, and you can’t go from pocket to pocket. If you need this one in a pinch, you’re gonna have a problem. You know, if you’re taking this one out to the park, it’s gonna take a few seconds to get it out. That’s nice. Oh, LeBron! Kobe! Okay. It’s got pretty good tippage. I like that one better than the one that we can’t find. Can I kick my ball? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. You won the right to do that. Pelé! Banana kick. Whoa! You did it! Or, there you go. I kicked across the whole field to the other goal. Yeah, there you go. That’s why it took so long. Alright, and then what do we have here? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that? This one is a “NFL” The “NFL” It’s the “NFL” ball. It’s got, it’s got shoelaces on it. What is this? So you take this off and you open it up and put your foot in it? I don’t know. Never seen it before. Can I hold it? It’s quite oblong. – I don’t know that. – I sort of love that about it. It’ll roll this way. Maybe it’s a, you roll it, but then if you try to roll it Oh, it’ll roll that way too. But it’s pretty unpredictable when it rolls. Does it feel like? It ain’t gonna go in your pocket. – Does it feel like maybe. – Forget about it. You could like, spin it, and then dance? Does it? Yeah, Rhett. That’s what I was thinking. Doesn’t it feel like you should just spin it and then dance? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spin it and dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Alright. I like spin it and then dance. Let’s see if it gets in the pocket. Nope, we already knew that wasn’t gonna happen. Well, you got bigger pockets. Try it. That’s true. Oh, look! Mine’s begging to be pocketed. Look at that. My pocket’s an alley. Nope, not gonna happen. Okay, wow. Now with these big britches, I do feel like it can get in the pant. Can you leg it? in the pant leg. Leg it. The problem is, the bottom of my britches is a little tapered. I feel like you’re gonna have to go in from the top. I’ll get in front. You undo your pants and put it in there. Okay. I’ll create a distraction. I could just turn around. I’ll create a distraction. You don’t want me to turn around? You want me just to pull my pants down, like this? Okay. Nothing to see here. My friend’s not putting a ball in his pants. I’m unzipping my pants. I’m just throwing the ball back and forth. This, this yellow. What? Don’t touch me. You just made contact with me in an awkward way. Okay, alright. Okay, where’s that ball you? Hey, friend. Hey. You got anything new to tell me about? Well, I’m, no. I’m just here to rank the sports ball. Should we get started? Are you okay? That’s the real question. That’s the question. Well, look at that. Something’s a little swollen. Right. Is that a ball? It’s a ball. Oh, it’s a ball. Now, I bet you I can get it from this side. Over. Okay, now we’re talking. That doesn’t even look weird. That looks normal. That looks completely normal. I knew there was a reason I had these big old pants. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, look. Yep, okay. Can you work it down? I can, I can do that. There it is on that side. Look, I have, it’s the first ball that’s moved from one side to the other. Do you need help working it down? Get it down. Get it down. Get it down. Get it down. There you go. Just beat it down. Just keep beating it. Alright. Oh, now look at that. Now you got a big knee. Look at that. Look at me. Look at knee. Look at me. Okay. Alright, I think I can get it all the way out. I think I can help you bring this ball out to the world. Oh, oh, oh, now it’s a calf. Okay. Oh, look at that man’s calf. Oh boy. Do I have a big calf? Wow. I have the biggest calf. Now I’m gonna, now I gotta get a little surgical. I don’t think it’s gonna come out dude. I’m, not I don’t want to mess up your pants, you know? I think it’s gonna come out pretty easy though. It’s just. I’m just gonna. You got a knife? For what? To cut the ball? Yeah, I gotta Tom Brady this thing. Okay, hold on, hold on. Who’s Tom Brady? Push it back up though. Who’s Tom Brady? I don’t know. Gisele’s ex-husband. It needs to be here. It needs to be back up here. Okay, we’ll just leave it there for now. No, just, come on, help me out. I’ll work it up. Okay, okay. Careful, careful. Keep your leg, keep your leg. Plant your heel! Plant your heel, Neal! Okay. Oh yeah, look at this. We got a little problem, though. Okay. That’s what these pants were made for, though. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Here we go. Okay. Oh, stop. Okay. That’s a pretty good ball. That’s a nice ball. Pretty good ball! Oh! Whoa! Another goal! Let’s see what else we got. That one bounced off Hitch before it went in the goal. Holy schnikes. Oh, this is almost like the last one. I actually don’t know what this is. IRL. Gilbert. This feels like it might be. Gilbert! Like, the kind of ball that you would use in a game that’s a lot like the ball that you have in your pants right now. Right. But it’s different in subtle ways. It’s more grippy. Some people, like, I don’t know if I need a helmet when I’m playing with this. Like, this feels like I might need a. Nope. A helmet? This feels like I don’t need a helmet. This feels like I just need shorts. You know? Cause nothing happens. What, what, what? Why? You got so scared. Well, I saw what you did to yourself. It’s nothing. What did I do? You were ready. Well, of course, it’s Gilbert’s ball. Well, in that case. We’re gonna have to consult with him. Oh my gosh. Goal. Okay. So, you’re going to let me, you’re going to let me, would you rather be hit with the soccer ball or the, this ball? No, that ball. Oh no, I gotta go, I gotta go temple. You hit me right in the temple. Goal! Okey dokey. I quite like this one cause it doesn’t have the stitches. It’s got designs on it. And it’s not as, oh, yeah, yeah, you can probably, you can probably get it in there. I would hope you could. Pay no mind. Pay no mind. I can’t get it. Maybe I need to push this one down further. There we go. Oh, yeah. It’s bigger than the other one. Oh, he’s still not in there. Still not in there. Oh, yeah. Just a guy playing catch with himself. Just a guy playing catch with himself. But his buddy’s not doing anything. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, there we go. It looks like you might have two balls in there. It looks like another man is bending over in front of me. It looks like you were in one of those accidents where your whole body gets turned around. And then when they find you, they’re like, we can’t move you, we have to call your family and have your last conversation. It’s kind of sad. Goodbye children! It’s sorta like what happened in the. Don’t look at my crotch! With Florida’s whole family. I mean, look at that. It’s another person bending over. Yeah, I mean, I could throw this at it and nothing would happen. You didn’t even feel it. This is special. Whoa! That is, that is a bouncy ball. Waka, Waka, Waka! Does it say that? Yeah. Oh, kickball. This one has a sport indicated. Kick it. Hacky sack. I really like this one. It’s very light. It’s the best one. The sound it makes when you kick it. I feel like if I rolled it to you and you kicked it. Oh, yeah. If I roll it to you and you kick it. Yeah. Come on. Come get in the show. You can bounce it. Listen to that! It feels like if it’s a bad day and you’ve lost the orange one in whatever game you play with that, you can play with this. Yeah. Yeah. Can I? Can I play? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You can even do it with those other balls. Nope. I don’t think so. I don’t think so either. It’s the biggest one. It’s the most bouncy one. It feels relatively cheap too. Yeah, that’s nice. I like the texture. What? I think it’s the worst one. Chase, you think it’s the worst one? Yeah, because I know Davin likes it a lot, so. Oh, Davin likes it a lot? You don’t think it’s because you were never, you were the last one picked to play with it? I mean, sometimes second to last. Oh man, that’s harsh, man. That’s harsh. You know, there’s an official Kickball Association. I also was the last one picked. Alright, this is the best one. Yeah, I’m definitely on team kickball, whatever that is. It’s for everybody. It’s for everybody. Oh, look at this. Can I have a, can I have another one? Okay. I’m a little concerned about my pants at this point. The thing about this one, is that, now, I’m just gonna say, we do have permission from Franklin to play with his ball. And. Franklin, can we have permission? This one’s super bouncy, it smells nice. Let me see if I can do the pocket test with this one. Okay. So I’m just gonna go, let me get this ball out of the way here. Just watch closely, going in. Yes, yes, yes. If you really push, really push. Really push. It comes out. You did it. Look at that. – Oh my goodness. – Wow! So, this is the first one that went through my pockets. So it’s fuzzy. Yeah, I like that a lot. It does bounce. Yep, yep, yep, yep. That’s nice. Boy, that is nice. It smells funky. And I think if you squeeze it hard enough, let me see. I think if you squeeze it hard enough. Squeeze it. Yeah. Dad magic. It’ll pop into two. Oh wow, you, that’s how they. Yeah. Yep. So they can procreate. And then you can put Then you have, and then you so, then you got yeah nothing to see here and then if you, if you take two. If you take two, right? We got two, and you Push them together really hard Check that pocket This pocket? Yeah, it went right through my body. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It became one. Oh my gosh. Yeah. There you go. Look at that. There it is right there. It was ball. It was one. It was ball. So, we didn’t. We didn’t really rank. I liked this one, better than this one. Hold on. A new ball. And then here. Lastly, oh, oh, oh.