Welcome to Good Mythical More. You have come to this video to find out who is the hottest NFL quarterback because we are the people who, will decide that. Today. Well, our crew has decided. We’re going to see if we can agree. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, they’ve already voted on this. Okay. We’re gonna see if we can predict what they thought. But first, the time has come, we’ve got to give a quarterly report on one of our latest business endeavors, catheters for cuties. Yep, that’s right. Because as they’re, as they’re saying, as their slogan goes, You mean our slogan. Our slogan. – Yeah. – Yeah. So you haven’t fully, this is part of the problem, just to report, is that he hasn’t, he’s not fully on board. He’s still calling it their and them, but it’s us. Cuties have urethras too. Right. Is what it is. Right. That’s what it is. Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean you don’t need a catheter. Drain that bladder, baby. And it is, and this, this actually started. Is a rejected slogan. This actually started, there was a survey of nurses who said that, you know, the cute people think they don’t need catheters, even in circumstances when they really do. Because what they’ve found is that the most often, the most, you know, probable response from a cute person was, okay, it’s time for your catheter. They would say, but I’m so cute. Right. And so it’s a real problem. – It’s a PSA campaign, – And so we’ve changed absolutely nothing about the catheters except we’re letting them know that these are for cute people. We put a, we, we did put a little cute little kitten face at the end of the catheter. We tried that, didn’t have any impact. Let’s let the cute kitten see the inside of your bladder. I really think the real problem though is the fact that you don’t feel like, part of the team yet. Yeah, I’m the problem. I’m gonna step down. Okay, so that’s what we’re doing. He’s stepping down. But I have a parachute That’s a business term. Oh, yes, you’re gonna have a soft landing so to speak. Yep. Yep. Yep. I get a payout. Okay, here’s what I was told and I don’t know if this is true. Sometimes they lie to us, but what I was told by the crew is that they on their own just one day started posting pictures of hot quarterbacks in our company Slack, and ranking them. What, what I’ve been told was that the first pick was accidental, from Lily in the Mythical Kitchen. I won’t tell you who she posted. So she had copied? She posted something. A picture and then she thought she was pasting something else. Well, I’m not sure. Lily’s copying like, and then pasting pictures of quarterbacks. Oh, yeah. Who isn’t? On company time. Who isn’t these days? And then, an official poll was created. Okay. And these were determined to be the top ten hottest quarterbacks according to y’all. And I will say, the pictures that we’re going to be using today are not necessarily the pictures that they were looking at. So, It could be a bad picture day, but I will also say that I have a certain level of familiarity with all of these guys. And I’m going to go ahead and tell you right now. What kind of familiarity? I’ve been alone with all of them. The hottest quarterback slash man in the NFL slash potential athlete is Jalen Hurts. So, if he’s not number one, I mean, look at he looks like that guy from that soap opera. What was his name? Oh, yeah, you’re talking about The Young and the Restless guy. Yes. – So good looking it hurts. – That’s a good looking man, and I have no qualms with saying that and he’s the hottest guy in this group. Now, let’s just start from there and let’s go down. You know, he’s got a goatee. People love Joe Burrow. He’s got a nice coat, hot goatee. They love Joe Burrow. They really do but let’s talk about the hair for a second. Well, that, it’s, I thought it was a bowl cut, but there’s a, at least in this photo, there’s a sweatband underneath there. But yeah, I mean, he’s got that quarterback jawline. Yeah. He’s, he’s got the squinty left eye though. Is that hot? Well, it’s for aim. Okay. What were your thoughts on the hair? Why, you need to talk, what do you mean? He’s a bit boyish. Joe Burrow has changed his hair quite a bit though. This, I don’t even think this is what his hair looks like right now. I think he’s tried a lot of different things, but. What does he? What does he sound like? Does he have a low voice? Or even like a high voice. It’s pretty squeaky. Yeah, it’s pretty squeaky. He’s got a squeaky voice. No, it’s not squeaky. Honestly, I don’t know what it is, but it’s not squeaky. Okay. Oh, he’s kind of doing a this hairstyle, but parted situation. Is it better or worse than this? I mean. So Stevie’s describing a picture that we’re not allowed to show, because the picture that we have to show is not making him hot enough. We follow the rules here. – So it’s? – No, no. I think he’s just, it’s the same hair. He’s just pushing it back. He’s, yeah, he’s, he’s attractive, but he’s almost like, it’s, he’s boring hot, you know? He’s kinda like, okay, yeah, you’re, you look like a quarterback. Oh, you are? Oh, I’m bored. Right. You know, it’s like, no surprises here. And, right, and Jalen Hurts is like. You look at him, and then you find out that he’s an NFL quarterback, and you’re like, come on, God. Right. Look at that smile. Spread it out, brother. I mean, Jalen is, he has an authentic smile. He seems like a real person who happens to be a quarterback. Well, when I was alone with him in a room, I thought, he’s a great, he’s a great guy. He’s a truly great guy. Did you, was there like, activities involved? Or is it just like, a small room? And just like a moment alone? It was weird because it was, it was ping pong without the paddles. Well then what were you using to hit the ball? Were you just throwing a little ball to each other? A little ball, but the table was there and the net. Throwing a little ball, huh? And he was very good at that. This is clearly a dream state. Jordan Love. Jordan Love, he’s got it, he’s got the right last name. Well first of all, I feel like we’re all about to make a, we’re about to make a sentence. Love, Hurts. Burrow. A burro is a donkey. A wild one. I like this. We can’t make a sentence though, cause then we’re gonna get confused. Love hurts. Burro. Jordan Love. Just talking to your donkey. You’re heartbroken. Does Jordan Love have a great personality? Let’s switch. When you were throwing that ping paw, ping paw. No, no, no, no, no, no. I only played paddle-less ping pong with Jalen Hurts. Different activities with different boys. With Jordan Love, what we were actually doing was crocheting. It was a, it was a, it was a class. We were both with our significant others. So, you have like a, a quarterback Groupon or something. You said you were alone in a room. Well, it felt that way. Now it comes out. It felt that way because of his presence. We’re sharing the, the punishment here. I don’t know why this is a punishment. I’m just going to putt. Let’s see if we can find out. You’re going to putt, you’re going to putt over there, right? You want me to putt this way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I think the intention is that they might embarrass you with what happens with your, your putt. Oh, Link, too hard, too hard. All right, a little too aggressive. Jordan Love, great name. – Good, again. – Good looking guy. Good smile in this photo. Symmetrical face. Good looking guy. I don’t think he’s in Hurts territory. If I’m being honest. No, he’s. I don’t think he’s in Burrow land either. He’s, he’s, he’s younger though. So for the. He’s younger? He looks younger than. Joe Burrow is, like. A veteran? No, like a rookie right? I think he’s. He might not have the maturity that I need in a man Okay, well he’s great at crocheting. I’m liking him. I’m liking him better than Burrow though. I don’t, I’m just telling you, I don’t think. I’m just against Burrow. Why do you hate him so much? I already told you, he’s boring, he’s unsurprising. I want a little something where you say, you gotta give him a second look. He’s known as being a hot quarterback. And so, I just think you have to keep him up there. Okay, okay, okay. And I think enough people on the crew would recognize that. Derek Carr. Now I think he’s a little bit more boring. Derek Carr. You know? First of all, he’s. His helmet has left a mark for this particular picture. Which is expected, he’s out there wearing it all the time. Very. You sure that’s not a watermark from where we downloaded this thing? The forehead watermark? I mean. There’s nothing wrong with his face. Like, I can’t find anything other than the helmet mark. There’s nothing wrong with a face. It’s like a very well put together face. Yet, I’m not attracted to it. I’ve been trying to, I’ve looked at Instagrams to see, you know, like, yeah, are these, how do these photos compare? And I’ll say, Jordan Love’s photo that we use, not, not the best photo of him. Okay. Derek is pretty accurate. Okay, yeah. This is a pretty spot on. This is the kind of face that, he looks this way in every picture, which is a good thing, right? It’s consistent. Derek wakes up. He looks like this. He goes to bed. He looks like this. It’s a good, he’s a good looking guy. You’re not going to get any complaints, but you’re also not going to get excited. And he didn’t excite me when we shared that elevator. 94 floors. Stopped at at least 70 of them. I started the conversation on floor 67 And I wish I had waited, honestly. Were you attempted to rub his forehead to get rid of that line, like? I did notice it. Let’s move him down. Let’s already, let’s just assume we’re moving him down. Sorry, Derek. It’s not that you’re not hot. All of everyone, you’re, you’ve made it to hotness, but you’re low in, in, our scale. Okay. You know what? Take a putt. Oh, yeah. I’m really I’m really gonna concentrate on this. I don’t want to embarrass myself. So I’m really gonna take the time, you know? Pride myself on my putting ability. Okay, you really gotta line it up, judge the distance perfectly. Okay. There he goes, and is it? – No! A little left. – I think it hit a bug. Do you get a bug penalty? No, bug’s part of the play. Bug’s part of the field. Alright, who we got next? So, Bryce Young, he is, he is, he’s a, he’s a respected quarterback. Bryce Young, let’s see a close up of that, Chappie. To the league. There we go. Okay, he’s a Panther, huh? I don’t know if he still is a Panther. Honestly, I can’t remember. He’s like, he’s, he’s very cool. He’s a cool guy. I know that about Bryce Young. Yeah, but still fun loving. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s a good looking guy with a great personality. His teeth aren’t perfect perfect, but they’re, they’re, more than perfect by being a little imperfect. They’re the kind of perfect that you want. Right, it’s like, they’re natural. It’s like, I don’t have veneers, okay? Right, I like that. I feel like he could be working a unibrow and he’s doing something about it, so he’s conscientious. I think he’s. He’s got that thin stache on top. I think he might be hotter than Jordan Love. Yep, I agree. That hat doesn’t have any business being way up there, though. Hurts, Burrow, Young, Love. Like, you can tell he just, he put that hat on because they just, they gave him a deal and he’s about to take it back off. Yeah, yeah. Because his hair is the main attraction here. Stevie, do you have any? I like it. I would say this is fairly accurate. This is, he, he seems to be very smiley. Okay. So, you know, that’s nice. He’s not taking himself seriously. He’s happy. He’s happy to be, he has a Puka shell necklace. Now, my Bryce Young story is a little different. Because we weren’t really in a room. I was on vacation in Slovenia and I got in one of those big bubbles that you roll down the mountain in. And they didn’t realize that they had already put Bryce Young in there. What? How big is he? Cause y’all both fit in there? Well, I think he, I mean, I don’t know, based on that interaction, I would say he’s about, five ten, 204. That’s what he felt like. And. But the interesting thing is somehow we stayed on the opposite sides of the ball as we rolled down the mountains of Slovenia. And it was weird because we were just making eye contact with one another as we rolled. And then eventually we were like, I believe we can just have a conversation. And we talked about a lot of things. Talked about what it’s like to be a rookie and, you know, you know, the way they basically try to like chop you down to size as soon as you get to the league, like you come in and like, you’ve been like, he’s our star. And then they’re just like, we’re gonna put you in your place, and you have to like re-establish yourself. He opened up to you. Very much so. So, he’s transparent, he knows how to make a connection. I’m feeling good. I feel good about where we’re at, yeah. Okay. Now we’re on your side over here. Okay, next I have Matthew Stafford. Matthew Stafford. He’s a big boy. Is he? 6’3 220. And I like in this photo, he’s like, oh, you’re talking about me? I made the hot list? No teeth in his smile. He does have teeth though. I do remember that. What’s he. I gotta say that immediately on his Instagram is him on a podcast and him in a cold plunge. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not to say, Rhett anything about you. Sounds a little douchey. Right. Or I mean. Well, the interesting thing about him is that we did a couples massage together. And it was simply because. Like you performed one or you got one? We got one. Okay. Because we both showed up at a spa at the same time. You sure you both didn’t massage Derek Carr? And the woman was like, are you guys together? And we were like, well no, we just showed up at the same time. And she’s like, well, 20 percent off if you go couples massage. And so we did. We never spoke though. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, that means. I don’t like to talk during a couple’s massage. Couple’s massages are overrated. I think it’s for people with trust issues. Right. My wife always falls asleep. Starts snoring. I think he’s got a boy next door kind of a look. You know, I would trust him with my baby. I think he feels, when you say baby, what do you mean? Like if he were a fireman and I was going to like, like give my baby up. What? You’re gonna give your baby up for adoption to a fireman? Or you mean like? – Yeah, yeah, whatever. – I don’t understand. If. Like you need to hand your baby out the window? Throw your baby out the window to a fireman? Well, yeah. Yeah. If you want to abandon your child, what am I talking about? Oh, you mean like a fire, like the, like the fire station. Like leave the child on. You would let this man raise your baby, is what you’re saying? I would let him decide who got to raise my, my baby. I can’t tell you. Because I’m not able to it. He would be good at that or not. Okay. I’m not able to do that. Can I putt? To erase any memory of me bringing up child abandonments. I think that, I feel like Matthew has a little bit of a linebacker look. Okay. I’m putting! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Dang, Link, you really gotta slow down a little bit. I rimmed it out. Lipped it out? What’s it called? Let me just say, all of these guys, would be one of the best looking guys in the room at any party that you would go to, but we do have to figure out how to rank them. And I’m sorry, Matthew. I think you’re, I think he’s at the bottom. I think it’s the linebacker of it all. That’s just how I feel. Who is this guy? This is Dak Prescott. He’s 6’2, 238. This is not a great photo, Dak. Oh, he’s got that chest tat peeking. I think Dak has been in the league for a while. I just think this is, and there’s something about the beard line. That’s not, not working for me. I’m putting him, I’m putting him pretty low. So, I have an interesting story to tell. You see that white shoulder in that picture? No. That’s me. Is that you? Yeah. Rooftop party. Rooftop, rooftop party. Okay. But it was a corner and I did feel pretty isolated with him and we did talk about, a number of things, and I did give him the advice as a, you know, I was like listen man, like I have a beard because I have to, you have a beard because you can. Yeah, I don’t think he needs it. I was like the way you figure out where the line of your beard should be on the bottom, this goes for anybody who is growing a beard. You take your finger, and it’s where your chin hits the top of your neck. Now, I don’t have much of a chin, but I do know that’s where my beard needs to stop. You’re talking about back here. Yeah, so, a lot of people will take a beard and they think that it needs to ride the ridgeline or their jawline. Right here. You don’t want to do that. And that’s what Dak is doing in this photo. If you look up and you see a horseshoe. You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to. So, look to the side, Link. So, right there. So, all this needs to be hair. That’s where, that’s where you, that’s where the hair starts. Yep. You do that, you’ll have a good looking beard. Brock Purdy. Purdy thing about him is his last name. Now he was the. No, I’m sorry Brock, I just had to say it. Brock was the quarterback in the Super Bowl, wasn’t he? He was, he was, for San Francisco, I believe. Yep, yep. They lost. You know, he’s a. I’d buy real estate from him, I guess. He’s not really giving off any like. I don’t know if I’d catch a pass. I think that if Brock wanted to be hot, he could, but he doesn’t seem to be interested. He’s not trying. – He’s not trying. – You know what I mean? Like we need. So, you didn’t, you didn’t even hang out with him. I’ve never met him. He’s the only one I haven’t met. All right. And who this? Oh, Russell Wilson. NC State Wolfpack! I know you badgers at the Wisconsin try to claim him just because he graduated from there. It doesn’t mean that he’s not one of us. Okay? He’s got those sleepy eyes. Is that bedroom eyes? Not really, but let’s say it is. Let’s talk about his wife for a little bit because. The hotter the wife, the hotter you think he must be. He’s married to, is it Ciara? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, he might have the hottest wife of anyone. I don’t know anybody else’s wife, honestly, on this list. But, she has made him hotter than he already was. Yeah, that’s what, we’re putting him on this side. Because he started dressing a little bit differently. We’re gonna hide him behind the mic. And, like, taking family pictures on Instagram. Like if, if this were a photo with him and Ciara, this is how it would work. She would be, she’d be blocking half of him. That’s how I want it. You think Jordan Love is hotter than Russell Wilson? No. – No, I don’t. – Definitely not. Okay. And then finally, who do we have here? Oh, that’s Tua. Tua? So he was, he was, you remember he was in Alabama. He was in the, I think it was, there was a game. Look at that lane on the boy. National championship game in which Jalen Hurts literally got hurt and Tua came into the game and won the game for Alabama. I think that just shows you how much talent they have. But now they’re both great. Man, he’s, he’s got, he’s got that zipper shirt. That’s hard to pull off. Yeah. If you can pull off a, well it’s not that hard, all you gotta do is unzip it. You gotta watch that. But, oh, he’s up there. He’s beating, he’s beating Russell. No. I don’t think so. I don’t think so. Look at other pictures of Tua. I think this is a really good picture of him. This is his best photo? He’s not hotter than Jordan Love. It’s not a bad photo, but it’s giving. Corporate. Like, yeah. He’s giving corporate. All other photos are like. Alright, so we are locked in. Jalen, it hurts to look at you, you’re so hot. Okay, I’ll say, like, I don’t, the crew’s list is interesting to me. I’m more aligned with what you guys are working with up here, but let me review, I’ll go from 10. Let us have it, and then you can punctuate it with a putt. At 10, we have Russell Wilson from the crew. Guys, rating him low. Okay, okay. At nine. Brock Purdy. Okay. Yep. Eight, Tua. Yeah. Seven, Jordan Love. Six, Bryce Young. Oh, really? Okay, Bryce Young is way down there on y’alls. Yeah, yeah. Don’t sleep. Five, Matthew Stafford. Okay. Four, Joe Burrow. Three, Jalen Hurts. What? Two, Dak, and number one, Derek Carr. We put Dak real low. Y’all put Dak real high. Derek Carr is the hottest for y’all? Derek Carr, number one. And that is an accurate photo of him. He looks like. Like he does in every photo. He does look like Superman. Okay. All right. Y’all need to take a better look at Jalen. I’m hurt. I think we just had a little bunch of lesbians vote. Absolutely not. I did not participate in this. Neither did I. Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna end this on a high note. Going right in the hole. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, no! No! Wow, and you were literally at putt putting. Dang it. That woman in the hat. Nicole the accuser is what we call her. Who was the accuser before Nicole the accuser? I don’t know, it was probably some, like, Russian Czar. Ivan the Terrible, Catherine, they had a lot of the’s. Satan. Satan! That’s who I was thinking of. That’s who you remind me of Nicole, Satan!