Welcome to Good Mythical More. We’re big into sports, you know, not just eating food while watching sports at stadiums. Yep. Or brought to us in lieu of going to stadiums. Yeah. We also like to play the sports that are tabletop in effort. Yes. I like the tabletop efforts. We also like to give away money from time to time. Like right now. Yeah, we do. We’re donating $1,000 to Stand Up To Cancer, to aid in their mission to raise funds to accelerate the pace of groundbreaking research that can get new therapies to patients quickly and save lives now. You can join us in giving at standuptocancer.org/rhettandlink. That’s us. That’s us. All righty. So, this horse race one, I’m gonna put- Wow. To the side, so that we can start off with this homemade Johnston game. Did Lucas make this or did we purchase this? We purchased this? We purchased this. So each guy has a- It looks pretty homemade. Has a shield. How much did we pay for this? $17. $32. If we paid more than $24 for this, that’d be crazy. It’s got a lot of wood. Wood’s tough to come by these days. $15. $15. $15. Was this Etsy? Amazon. Amazon? Amazon. So the… Where’s the packaging? It doesn’t need packaging. And then you’re trying to use the- Oh and the whole thing… The whole thing can move. So we have to face each other here. So this is my shield and this is my puncturer. This is my shield and this is my… Whoa, and it’s like the whole thing kind of moves. So… Are we going now? I’m just seeing what I’m capable of. Well, let’s keep it on the table. How about that? Just lemme know when you’re going. Stevie, give us a countdown. Three, two, one. Well, I lost, but I… I got second place. Let’s do it again. There’s more balloons. We paid $15 for this. We paid $15 for this. It’s interesting, because you have to do your left hand. Can you hand me one? You have to do your left hand for your… For your pokey one. Did I choose the smallest balloon over there? Yes. Yes. Did you give me the biggest one? Yes. Yes. Okay. Stevie has to give us the countdown. I’m playing defense for a while on this. Me too. On your marks. Get set. Go. See how hard it is to play defense. Because that shield is so small. Oh, I see… Hold on. I feel like I’m gonna hit your hand. You’re getting your hand so close to the… To the balloon. This is the dumbest thing. No, kids need to learn how to joust. Hey, speaking of that, kids. You’re my ball boy. I’m gonna go again. You’re my ball boy. And the way ball boys do things is they have to retrieve. Got it. They have to… Got it. They have to… Got it. They have to retrieve balls. Where is it? Here it is. Got it. ♪ I’m a ball shagger ♪ ♪ I’m shagging them balls ♪ ♪ Ball shagger ♪ ♪ All day long ♪ Can you do the tennis thing? Yep. Yep. Supposed to catch that. What else you got? Baseball. Can you be a baseball boy? What do they do? They have a glove usually. Did you see the baseball dog? The dog dog ball. The ball dog? No. I heard about it. I’d like to see Link do that. It picks up the bat with its mouth. Keep in mind, this is a weighted baseball. I was like, why is this baseball so heavy? Oh, no, I’m particularly talking about a new bulldog that, on his debut day, chose to do some artistic… He took a little deucey on the diamond. A little diamond deuce. Yeah. Yeah. He did? Yeah. Poor thing. He was so excited. They’ll do that. I was walking Jade and Jasper yesterday, and… One of them pooped. And I was cleaning it up and then somebody else was walking behind me. Backwards? And so then I was about to… I was getting the bag out. And so when I had the… Getting the bag out, the woman was walking down. So instead of being over here where I was, I stood right beside the poop so that she… So as to direct her around. And so she went around. I was like, oh, okay, she’s not gonna step in the poop. And then I reached over and I started picking up the poop with the bag hand. And then I saw out the corner of my eye, she was standing there just watching me do it. Like she stopped right here and just watched me. Entertainer. Bag hand. You’re an entertainer. I’m an entertainer. You’re an entertainer, people can’t help but watch. And she started talking to me. Oh. And it just, I don’t know. Looking pretty healthy, huh? I felt a little violated, right? What was the conversation? It was about… Poop, huh? It was about what race of… Breed of dog they were. What race is your dog? You know what I mean. And I just didn’t feel right about like, touching poop and having a conversation. It’s just one step removed from like, someone walking in on me in the bathroom to have a conversation. It is like oddly embarrassing. Right? Like, it’s not… I mean, you’re doing something you have to do and it’s not even your poop, but- I got a story for y’all. My wife was walking down the street in an area where there was a Mexican restaurant with people… One of those Mexican restaurants where the seating is out on the sidewalk and the street in front of it. Yeah. She’s walking Sean and Barbara. They get directly in front of the entrance to the Mexican restaurant. And Barbara does what she loves to do. She drops down, she begins to take a deuce. Drops down and deuces. And it… Let’s just say it gave the refried beans a run for their money. A run! A run for their money. And people were dining and seeing this. And then people were sitting there eating Mexican food. Jessie has a bag. No! And Barbara did a little bit and then moved and did more. No! And then she’s like- The dollop. She basically, she said, “I grabbed my thing, my bag, and I reached down and I grabbed it and it didn’t all come up.” Whoa. And she’s like, look at these people who are eating Mexican food. And then she like did her best and just got out of there. Yeah, yeah. You gotta tie that thing up after taking a few steps. I would’ve said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” We went to a dog beach recently and a dog pooped like right… Right, like… You know where the waterline was to the ocean. And like, listen- ‘Cause he wanted to watch it slowly wash away. There’s so much poop in the ocean. I know that that’s true. But… But I was like, no, like, the ocean’s coming. And luckily the owner got there before it was completely washed away. Oh, so the tide was coming in? Yeah, yeah. But that’s the… Yeah. That’s the worst… Well, I was gonna say that’s the worst part of dog beaches but there was a naked little boy who ran at us on that dog beach- Ran at you? Yeah. Ah! No, really. That was the worst part of the dog beach, I think. I’ve mastered a new technique of poop pickup. I have a preservationist… Oh, you lost your head. Oh, you hit me in the pinky. This thing’s dangerous. There you go. You have a poop preservation? Jade will poop. You petrifying your poop? And then a little bit later, Jasper will poop. I wish they would do it at the same time. And then a little bit later, here comes Jade pooping a second time. And I’ve gotten to the point where now I’ve mastered the… I use one bag per walk. I’ll tie a knot in it, but just loose enough that I can untie it, open it back up and add more poop to it. ‘Cause I feel so guilty about using three bags on one walk. Every single day. You don’t use compostable bags? Yes, I use compostable bags. So… Yeah, so what’s the deal, man? You’re not killing sea turtles or anything. I don’t believe that they’re really compostable. They say that on the bag. And plus, it’s still generating more trash. So I’m generating a third less trash. Am I opening a bag with poop in it twice to add more poop to it? Yes. But how do you do the second part? I untie the bag, and then… And you reach in and grab the old poop? No, then I roll- From the outside? I roll the top of the bag down and then I grab the poop from the outside and I roll the bag down over my hand. And then you add poop to the other poop. Yeah, and then I add more… I grab the poop with the poop that’s in my hand again. You were asking for people to stop and talk to you then. Right, this is why that woman, she’s like, oh, a second poop, huh? You know what I- Third poop. Should talk about poop more. What I really don’t understand- Let’s get it all out. Is when you’re on a trail and you see the fricking dog poop bag. That pisses me off just as much. Yes! I’m not yelling, but… I know what you’re thinking. Oh, you know what, when I come back down the trail to get in the car, I’ll pick up the poop bag that I left here with my dog’s poop in it. But you don’t. And you won’t. Because something will happen. You’ll go a different way or you’ll forget it. And then the bag is there. The bag stays there. Is anyone else gonna pick up your poop bag? No. It’s just, it’s so selfish. Don’t leave your bag dog poop to get later. You’ll never do it. I do like the, if it’s on a trail, I do the scooch off to the side trail area. Well, you shouldn’t do that. Why? Because it ruins the ecosystem. The dogs are invasive species. Your race of dogs… But do you think it’s better to have a plastic bag? Well, really, you need to have a carrying solution for your dog poop. You need to have a place that you can put it and feel okay about it on your person. I have a cup holder in my fanny pack that’s made of mesh. And I put the poop in the cup holder. I wear it as an earring. All right, so we’ve got- And I need both of them to poop so I can balance out. Horse race. So the horses are out here and we’re gonna guess which one… All right, they’re all ready to go. Two. I’m saying two. I’m saying six. Go! Go, six! Six is winning. Two is last right now. Six is number three. He’s moving to number two. Your guy sucks big time. I’m in the lead. I’m in the lead! I’m winning. And you are now no longer losing. And is number one gonna catch up on… Oh, what happened? You lost! What? You lost! I beat you. I beat you, man. Did you see that? Your horse fell off. My horse fell over, got back up and lost. Yep. I hate that game. What about this one? The gymnasts at the Olympics play this. How do we do this? There’s instructions. Here, you take that. I’ll play the instructions. Play ’em. So this is like, just power. I’ve got a confession to make. You remember that thing that I got really upset about when you brought it up, Stevie, about leaving your bagged dog poop on a trail? I do remember that. I’ve done that. What, accidentally, you’re saying? No, I did it on purpose. What? I just thought, why am I gonna… I’m just starting this hike. Why am I gonna carry the dog poop the whole hike when I know I’m gonna come back here and I left the dog poop in the bag tied up right there. But then you forgot about it. I came back another way. What does that do? Yep, came back another way. Okay. It’s still there. I know it is. And I feel horrible about it. I feel like a total hypocrite. Will it go all the way around? Probably. You gotta get momentum. Oh, there he goes. Okay. I gotta release. Release. That’s fun. So it’s kind of like a bottle flip thing where you want it to land. Oh, well thanks for doing that. Who needed that? That’s stick the landing right there. That’s what you need. Okay, okay. And what is this, David? It’s magnetic. Oh, that’s just a battery pack. I’ll do one more. It also has Velcro on it. I’ll do one more go and then pass it along. If you were a gymnast, you’d be better at this. Oh! Keep going. I like watching you do it. Alright, so one thing I just learned, that I was not doing, is that… So if you do this, he stays bent. You have to let go after you do it so that his reverse momentum carries him back. So like… See, I’ll show you. So you just let go. So then he swings back and that helps him get more… Oh yeah, there you go. Do it. Oh. All right, lemme try now. Oh. Gymnastics War. One more try. I think I’m releasing too- All kind of toys are selective freely by you. What? All kinds of toys are selected freely by you. He keeps landing on his head. What does that mean? Gymnastics War. All kinds of toys are selected freely by you. Are there instructions on the box too? Oh… Five kinds of competitive games. The first kind of… The second- Oh! All right. I was always too tall to be a gymnast. This is as close as I’ll ever get. So you can do it for… You can do it for distance, you can do it for how many times can you go around? Did you see that? Gimme some points. Did you see how he got to the top and he… What are you doing over there? All kinds of games. Here, try it. Okay, let me try it. Are we ready for this? Ready for this. We’re ready for this. I’ll give you one of these. We’re ready for this. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! And then the release is the big red button. I like that move. It doesn’t release. You gotta have momentum? No, you have momentum. Release faster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! Next… No! Maybe you’d have to be good at guitar for this. No, you almost got it. Yeah, it’s just like a guitar. That’s what I was thinking. Oh, yeah. No! Oh, yeah, look at the ball boy. I think that you might need to go around one additional time to get enough momentum, but the timing on the second one is tough, man. It’s tough. Yep. Yeah, release. Release. Release. Why aren’t you releasing? Why aren’t you releasing? I’m trying to go… Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. My finger’s hurting, it’s so pushy. Well, don’t press so hard. Pushing so hard. Give him a push. Go, man. Come on. Let go faster to get the momentum to go back. That’s what I was saying earlier. That’s what it took me a second to get. Why am I getting worse at this? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just tap. It’s a tap, it’s a tap, it’s a tap, it’s a tap. And… One more. Hey man, you gotta start somewhere. Gotta start it somewhere. We’re gonna do this. We’re gonna land this sucker. We’re gonna land it. Quicker down, quicker down. Yes, yes, yes, yes. No. Yes. Release! Release! What is happening? I’m not good at it. You do it. I knew you… You’re a guitarist. Yeah, man. I knew you’d be able to do it. Guitarist, a gymnast man. Okay. Release. Release. Release. The way you… Release. How do you… All kinds of toys are selected freely by you. Can we watch the gymnast TikTok? Just go watch the gymnast TikTok. I wanna see what they did. Because I feel like I gotta go around. Boom and boom. Release! You know? Boom. How do you… Release! Okay, here we go. Yay! How did the gymnast do it? Can we see the TikTok? Nope, we’re out, we’re out. We’re out, Rhett, we’re out. You failed. We’re out. Watch episode two of Roll For Mythicality, our Dungeons and Dragons show now at mythicalsociety.com.