Welcome to Good Mythical More. What is the worst thing that you can be given on Halloween? And what’s even worser than that? And so on. We’re gonna get the worst of the worst and rank it. It’s gonna get real dark. But first, let’s donate $1,000 to Stand Up To Cancer to aid in their mission to raise funds to accelerate the pace of groundbreaking research that can get new therapies to patients quickly and save lives now. And you can also give. Standupatcancer.org/rhettandlink Please do. Alright, let’s, let’s, let’s bring in our, um, our little, a little big whiteboard thing here. Let’s snake it through here. So, so these are things that you could be given while trick or treating. Yep. Yep. Excluding razor blades. – Alright, so we got — – Because that was a, that was an urban legend. We got the worst, and then we can probably rank if we, uh, you know, if we do this. – And I also have dirt… – Least worst… That I’m gonna dig up on you. All right, so let’s move these over here so we can make more of a, maybe that’s too far. All right, so we got popcorn ball, raisins, granola bar, apple. Pennies. What am I looking for here? Circus peanuts. Mini Bible. Uh oh, there we go. And a pencil. I guess all of these things have been given. Oh. It’s just one large That’s good, you’ve excavated it. You’ve found, I think you’ve found it. Manila envelope. Or as I used to say when I was a kid. Vanilla envelope. Vanilla envelope. Alright. And it’s, and it says dirt on it. So I think you found the right one. Pack of dirt. All right. Do you want, you want to open that now? You wanna get started on this? What do you want to do? I’m just opening it and I’m not gonna read it. It’s a tease, it’s a tease. Okay. Oh, there’s dirt. I mean, we didn’t know who was gonna lose, win or lose. We got dirt on Link on one side and dirt on Rhett on the other side. Oh good. Read your own dirt. Maybe we’ll get both. Okay. Moving right along. What do you like the most out of this? Um, pencil. There’s some utility. You know, pencil’s not the type of thing you go out and buy. So if someone’s gonna give you one, it’s like, I could probably maybe use that. Of course, I can’t tell you the last time I’ve used an actual pencil. What’s so bad about popcorn balls? What’s inside of a popcorn ball? More popcorn. There’s nothing inside of it? It’s just more popcorn. There’s not a core to it? Uh I don’t know if I’ve ever had a popcorn ball… Nobody knows. Nobody knows. My mom used to do that, like, those plastic gloves that you you can stuff popcorn in and then it looks like a hand. Uh huh. You know? And then you peel the glove off, or? Well, it’s not like the latex glove. It’s like the bigger plastic one. And then you you put popcorn in it and you tie the end and then you put those like spider rings on the fingers and stuff and like a little ribbon on the end and it’s like… you know, it’s like here’s popcorn, but also a spider ring. I don’t think I think that only happened at your house Yeah, i’ve never wanted to get creative because we had a king sized bar neighbor, and you really had to compete with that. – Those are expensive you know. – Gosh. King sized. That is… That’s too much. It’s unnecessary. I mean just a full candy bar is the talk of the town. But to really go for king sized… Okay, what kind of neighbor is that? You know, trying to, you got too much to prove. You know what would really do it? You know what would get the whole town talking? Soup. You know, soup. Yep, well, that also would do it. Ladle it out, right into the kid’s mouths. Or right into the bags. Right onto all your other candy. Um, those giant Reese’s peanut butter cups that are like this big. Yeah. If you were to have those. That’s too, that’s too much. But think about all the kids that would come to your house. You’re tossing those things out, but soup. I was to go with soup. Is that the goal? No. I think, I think everything… I’m thankful. I live in a neighborhood that doesn’t have trick or treating. Yeah. LA is interesting because there are… the neighborhoods that have risen up to become the destinations for trick or treating. And it’s a combination of, sidewalks and lack of hills and stuff like that, but if you’re in a hilly spot with no sidewalks and weird lots and stuff, trick or treating no bueno, so there’s a number of places all throughout the town where it’s like if you live there, you got to know you got to know if you’re buying a house there. Oh, right. You are expected to be a part of this and if you’re not, you will be shunned. Shunned. Okay. A popcorn ball, uh, is usually made with marshmallows, powdered sugar, and corn syrup. That’s what’s in the, it’s like a rice crispy treaty type of vibe. It’s a dawning on me that I’ve never had a popcorn ball, but it doesn’t sound bad. It’s certainly better than raisins and an apple and a granola bar, I think. So I think a popcorn ball, but there’s a handmade nature to it. That’s a bit. Could be scary. I bet you can get them pre made. Well, let’s put that as the least worst. Cause… Everything over here is inedible, including the circus peanuts. So… I think I’m at a certain point… I don’t want an apple. I’d rather have raisins and granola bar than an apple. Well, it depends on the apple type. You know, a good honeycrisp? Accepting produce, Accepting produce from a person. Right, it just feels weird. Like a farmer? No, like a homeowner. I’m just saying. Isn’t a farmer a person? Yeah, but here’s the thing. With apples? An orchard owner? The thing about apples is… Yeah, what if it’s an actual farmer that you’re going to his house? I would accept it from a farmer. That’s not what I’m talking about. If he farmed those apples, yeah, that’s good. You’ve got an apple. The thing that the person is holding when they hand it to you is the thing that you then put your mouth directly on. Well, you gotta wash it. I don’t know why I’m arguing for apples to be good. She’s arguing for apples are good! I just like apples. I like apples. Link, he really doesn’t like apples. He’s got serious apple hate. Yeah, but the thing is, is like, have you been trying the wrong apples? Listen, I like the taste of an apple, but, and, you know, it doesn’t do anything else for you. If you’re hungry and you eat an apple, you’re gonna be just as hungry when you’re done. It keeps the doctor away. I don’t think that’s true at all. Apples do not satiate hunger. Granola bars. There’s groaning in there. Those are better. Everyone back here thinks you’re wrong, but I didn’t want to rub it in. I mean, this is what I’m saying. I’m saying that raisins are better than apples. Oh, I’m not gonna disagree with that. Like a nice box of raisins? Now, that’s something, that’s something to smile about. What about just a handful of raisins? Not, I don’t like that. I like a little box. Like there’s cute little boxes. Pre made raisins. I mean, pre packaged raisins. Yeah, that’s good. That’s good. That’s why it’s down here, but I’m saying granola bars are better, but you know what? Now we’ve just said that raisins are the second best thing on this list because of the cute boxes. Well, a granola bar, depending on the brand, can be good. Yeah, but these are still the best things. Now pennies is actual, actual money. It’s worthless money. Useless. Should we go into the, I mean, should we even go into the thing that we learned about pennies? No, you gotta save it. You gotta save that? Gotta save it. If we learned something about pennies, boy, it blew our minds. You know what, instead of saying that. Pennies are bad. I’ll say. I’m actually gonna say that a pencil is pretty good after a granola bar. I got some dirt I dug up on Link. These are all facts. Uh, the first one is Link’s glasses are actually a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy from 1996. Yeah, true, it’s true. Wish I had them right now, I could, I could see better. Link puts his mouth on the butter dispensers at movie theaters, and when people tell him to stop, he screams, I’m famous! Have you seen the hack? Plausible. Where you can put the straw on the butter dispenser and put it down in, to get. Um, buttered down in the bottom of your popcorn without having to layer it. This is a hack? Yeah. You take a, um, a Slurpee straw. And you attach it to the butter dispenser at the AMC? I think you just jam it down in there, and then you… I don’t think you should do that. Then you hit the you just you don’t touch it, you hit the butter dispenser. You send it down into the straw. Anybody tried this? Good idea. This is better than getting the wide… Yeah, it’s better than that. paper bin that they can give you and then just going a thin layer? Yeah, definitely. Well, what do you think about this? Link only left Christianity after losing a fiddle match to the devil. That’s really dumb. Suck a do do do do do! Like that? That’s really dumb. A fiddle match. Fiddle match. Alright, um, I think a pencil’s not that bad. I’m happy to get a pencil. I’m more happy to get a pencil than pennies or an apple. I’d rather get a pencil than an apple. I’ve said it. What about this mini Bible? Fine print. I mean, I’m sure people have done it. I’m interested in that. Cause I want to see how small you can get it. And like, did you, is it, is it all 66 books? Or is it just the New Testament? Is it a Gideon Bible? Is it just a Gideon Bible, remember those? Gideon, what a Gideon’s good. Now, let me, can I just say a little bit of something about the Gideon Bible? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah. Um, so, back in the day, you went to a hotel, you opened up the bedside drawer, and there was a little New Testament Bible. Yep. Is that not happening anymore? Well, that’s what I’m getting at. So that was placed by the Gideons and it was the 27 books of the new Testament, because that’s all you needed to be saved. And then you can introduce yourself to the problematic old Testament after the fact, you know, and then make sense of it. Start with the new. Then something happened. I’m just going to say, I know we have a lot of fans who are members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, but y’all pushed us out. And now there’s the Book of Mormon in so many hotels. You really did it. Really? You really did it. You pushed out the New Testament. It’s not, it’s not that there’s both? It might be both. It might be the Book of Mormon and the New Testament. I don’t know. I’ve been afraid to open it. Okay. All I know is at some point, I was like, the Mormons have gotten into the hotels. What, what about a good adult coloring book? Come on. Just something we can all agree on? Yeah, just a little stress relieving adult coloring book. Has anybody else noticed this trend? I think you’re particular to checking the Bibles. The first thing I do when I get into a hotel is open the drawers. To see who’s gotten in there. I think in the uh, the mini bible, uh, The Last Supper is nothing but tapas. – I think in the mini bible — – I like that because it’s small. – Well, Carney thinks in the mini bible — – In the mini bible… The Last Supper is nothing but tapas. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. Take these tapas in remembrance of me. Why didn’t you just repeat exactly what he said? And then didn’t add anything. It bore repeating. Take these tapas in remembrance of me. Share, share, share. What’s a good tapas? What’s the best tapas? What’s the best tapas? Pan con tomate. Take this — Pinecone tomate. In remembrance of me. What’d you say? That’s what she said. Stevie said pinecone panate. It’s the bread that you have the roasted tomatoes that you roast so long that it becomes a spread and it’s like the most simple one. I think maybe we should say drink this queso fundido. In remembrance of me. How do you, how do you feel about this? And then Jesus was like, uh, have you dined with us before? We do things a little differently. Right, yeah, we do things a little differently. That’s all we do when he says that we repeat it. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that with Link all the time, it works. If we like it. Well, the emphasis is a little different. Okay. Dig up, dig up another one. Link watered a plant on his desk for three years before realizing it was fake. Okay. Link swears pregnancy isn’t that hard. I’ve heard him say that, yeah. Link wanders around the mall for hours every weekend waiting for someone to recognize him. They never do. You want one about me? Yeah, you can read it. Rhett only left Christianity after losing a fiddle match to the devil. Guys, are you serious? Well, uh, I mean, listen. Are they, the dirt, you just repeated the dirt? We were together, don’t you remember? Your dirt is my dirt? Rhett only launched, this is a good one. Rhett only launched a music career as an excuse to be alone sometimes. Cause nobody would show up. Yeah, that’s it, man. That’s it. Alright, give me another one about you. Rhett once crashed his car into a Dick’s Sporting Goods just so he could yell, Now that’s some big Dick’s energy! Wow. Wow. Oh, yeah. Rhett swears pregnancy isn’t that hard. I understand. If you’re only gonna read one or the other, why come up with new ones? Well, we are reading both. You’ve been exposed. Um, okay, this is to me. Rhett’s hair is just a Julia Roberts wig from Party City. A Julie Roberts wig. I like that. Party City carries Julie Roberts wigs? I hope so. Right now pennies are the worst thing that you could be given. And circus peanuts are the second worst. Hold on, you think an apple is worse than a mini bible? You were curious about it. We got a — Carney had — Oh, an apple is worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is worse. Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Okay. They get better as you go down. But pennies is money. It’s like the worst money. It is the worst money. It’s like… It’s how often do you think… It’s money that’s annoying to have. It’s money that the person you’re buying something from already has. Just in case it’s needed. You know what I’m saying? To give to you so you can give it back to them. So you can give it back to them. Right, nobody cares. It’s a rounding error waiting to happen. You’re gonna toss a penny in like a kid’s jack o lantern. I mean, it’s not a wishing well. This is the worst But let’s keep it pretty okay, yeah keep it. All right. There you go. Yeah, keep it pretty keep it And then we’re gonna move this here. Look at that. Isn’t that pretty? All right. Now we’re ready to start. Welcome to Good Mythical More. Did you know… That Link takes an uber to work every morning. Sits in the front seat and blasts Ear Biscuits from his phone. I’m famous! 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