Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” We are going to try some vegan foods that Sporked has taste tested and says is really good, so. Huh. Let’s check it out together. But first we’re gonna freeze frame. Or are we? I don’t know why. Every time, every time we do that, we start moving around. ‘Cause it makes you hard to freeze, man. Does it? Yeah. I don’t think so. Gwynedd, come in. It gives ’em options. Gwynedd, come in. It gives them options. I wore my loud shoes today. Oh yeah, I heard you coming from a mile away. Just clomping around. Y’all been eating vegan food over there at Sporked. We surely have. Okay. Do you eat vegan foods at home? I mean, yeah. I mean, sometimes I eat foods that have no animal products in them. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But usually just because it happens to be that. I know, I get it. I recently acquired some vegan cheese, which was good to me. Okay, that’s great. I’m glad to hear that. We’ll be eating some vegan cheese today. All right. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Because I’m not an opinionated cheese eater. Okay. I am hungry though. We are gonna have some mac and cheese, speaking of. Okay, yeah, we’ve had this brand before. This is the Field Roast. Field Roast Chao. That’s just how I’m assuming it’s pronounced. When you say Field… Chao, Chow. Oh, that’s the brand? Field Roast, crafted by Field Roast. But then is Chao the brand? I know it’s confusing. We had Field Roast something. Let me see this. Field Roast also makes sausages, they make roasts from the field. Hey, listen, I gotta say… Tender pasta covered in delicious cheesy sauce. I’m really pulling for the vegan foods to taste really good. What we’ve had is we’ve had sliced vegan cheese from them that we’ve liked. Okay. I would transition to more and more plant-based stuff if it tasted better. And so, when it tastes better, it helps with that. Yes, definitely. In my household, we eat kind of a lot of vegan stuff ’cause it’s getting better and better. So why not? I love this. But again, I’m not a really opinion, I’m choking. I’m not really opinionated when it comes to cheese. I am, it’s not as good as mac and cheese, but it’s good. Isn’t that good? I think I prefer vegan cheese over regular cheese. ‘Cause I like nuts. That’s wild. I know, what is this made of? Is it made of nuts? That’s nuts. I think it’s made of various oils. There’s some soybeans in there. But it’s like really creamy and it doesn’t have like a weird aftertaste, which I think sometimes. Nope. Not at all. Vegan cheese in particular can be like, why did I eat that? Yeah. It’s really good to me. Ooh, it’s got a lot of sodium. It doesn’t have any nuts in it. Ooh. I’m gonna put some pepper on that. Yeah. It could use a little, little tang to it. Mm hmm. Or some hot sauce. Yeah. I highly recommend. Now when you say it has a lot of sodium, I just wonder compared to like, you know, Kraft mac and cheese. Well, the whole package has 60% of your sodium for the day. Yeah, that’s not that bad. So, you gotta find the 40% from somewhere else. Yeah, there’s always, when you see 1380 that, yeah. That’s how it works, right? You gotta hit 100 every day. I mean, I do my best to. Do you? That’s actually why I quit. I did that. I don’t look at it. I did that MyFitnessPal thing for a little bit where I was like entering all the foods in and my, the salt levels. Oh my god. Would, it depressed me so much. I know. And I would hit my sodium goal at like 11:00 AM. My sodium goal. You know, and I’d be like, whoa, okay. Now I’m just overachieving the rest of the day. Oh my God, I know. Who wants to live like that? Right, I didn’t wanna know. Well now all of these electrolyte drinks are just chock full of salt. So, isn’t it a good thing? Well, ask your local doctor. Okay. I happen to be a doctor and yes, it’s good for you. And you’re local. Yeah, yes! Oh my God, I’m right here. I’m getting a new doctor this year, so. Are you excited? I’m gonna, I think I am. That’s so good. Me and Christy will have the same doctor so I can go in and like talk to my doctor about Christy. No, you can’t. And she can go in- No, you can’t. HIPAA. Oh. Well then, I’m not excited. But you could go in together. Oh, we could go in. It’s like a couple’s massage, but it’s a exam. It’s just one doctor. Couple’s exam. He can do a dual prostate, well, actually he can’t do that for Christy. Ooh. Ooh. He can try. A mammogram and a prostate exam at the same time. He’s got two hands. Yeah. Oh my God, that’s so cute. That’s romantic, I think. Yep, yep, yep. Cancer screenings as a… Next one. As a duo. Okay, what’s it gonna be next? What do I see here? Is this vegan bologna? Vegan bologna sandwiches. Excuse. What do I see? Okay, so listen, I tried a lot of vegan deli meat and I decide, oh yeah, and with vegan mayonnaise on it. Okay. I was a bologna sandwich guy growing up. But I think that bologna is like the deli meat that’s like the least meat like in general. Yeah. So, that really helps vegan bologna be bologna-ish. Thoughts? In this context, it’s not bad. I love this bread, too. This is the bread, like, we keep around in the all offices. What kind of bread is it? What’s the bread? Oh, I don’t remember. But they keep it around. I think it’s Nature’s Own White Bread. Nature’s Own White. Yeah, Nature’s Own. For someone who doesn’t like bologna, this is just as good as what I don’t like. Okay, okay. There’s something really disturbing about the, like, stacks. Like the straight, the straightness. But that’s what- That’s just bologna. Bologna. You want it to be like. Well. It just looks like bologna though. No, no, no, in the side profile. Look at the one that you haven’t eaten. I like this. In the side profile. There’s something, I don’t know. Maybe a little rigid. Okay. But it’s good bologna. It tastes like, it tastes like bologna to me. Listen, I like to go into the fridge at night and for years, I like to go in and grab a little cold cut. Oh yes. But I stopped doing that because they’re like a level one carcinogen, like cold cuts. Yeah, I know. It’s just like, you don’t wanna just be doing that all the time. I know, that’s so depressing. This might be the way back in. Yeah. Oh my god, see, these are, they’re probably carcinogen too. Well, but not, they can’t be as bad, right? No, they definitely can’t. Also, I know I’m a real- It says it’s processed, but. You wanna taste this on its own. Do you? It’s- But that is our best vegan mayonnaise. It gets the job done. Okay. It definitely does. Yeah. The aftertaste is not bad, but. What’s it got, avocado oil? It’s just there. They make one with avocado oil. I don’t think this one does though. But it’s like, yeah, it’s fatty and a little tangy. It’s pretty good. If you’re a vegan. I don’t remember if this is mine, but I’m eating more. And you, just, if you’re a vegan, you really still want bologna in your life? Yeah. Out of all the meats, I guess. Vegans, do you want bologna in your life? I’m just saying that if you’re somebody who really, I know that you can wean yourself off of that, like the umaminess of meat. But I don’t know, I think that would be a hard thing for me to do. I’m weak. I’m weak. I have a friend who has been a vegetarian since she was 13 years old and she says the only meat that she misses are like the most fake versions of actual meat. Like she misses Vienna sausages and Arby’s roast beef sandwiches. Oh. Yeah. Which I love both, so. That’s an interesting thing to miss. Yeah. Ben and Jerry’s Non-dairy Phish Food. And now, this is a new recipe that they’re saying. I don’t know if we tried the new recipe. Non-dairy frozen dessert with gooey marshmallow swirls, caramel swirls, and fudge fish. It’s smooth and creamy is what it says on the front. And that is really what we’re most concerned about. So we were feeling like when we tried this that it’s, like you couldn’t really tell that it was non-dairy dessert versus ice cream. Sorry, I’m already burping bologna sandwich. Oh, is that what you’re doing? Yeah, kind of. It’s chunky looking. Bologna burps are the best. They are, oh my god. Better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it. Oh dang, Gwynedd. That’s my wisdom that I brought here for you guys today. You are a doctor. Yeah, see. Burp and taste it instead of fart and waste it. That is the test to become a doctor. As if you know that. All burps become farts. I feel like I can tell. Medically, yes. But only probably because you told me already. I like the taste of it though. Can you hand me a spoon? Oh, sorry. She’s not even getting in on participating. I didn’t want people to yell at me for eating ice cream with a fork. People get really mad when you use the wrong utensil to eat things on the internet. People got things to get mad about, don’t they? People get mad about things. They really have done a good job with the creaminess. The inclusions, the hard inclusions are… Yes, you love inclusions. They help a lot. I know, well, that’s what you go to Ben and Jerry for, right? They put a lot of stuff in their stuff. It’s very good. I think this is- I highly recommend. This is excellent. Y’all nailed it again. Mm. It makes me excited. There’s a quote from Phish on here. From the band? Yeah. But, well, because the thing is, is that you could have, I think a lot of people, probably Gen Z. Okay. They probably don’t even know what Phish is. They see Phish Food and they’re like, “Oh, that’s just a cool way to spell fish.” They don’t know that there’s a band behind this. Right. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. There’s no indication. And even here, it doesn’t say anything about we’re a band. It just says, “We partnered with our friends and neighbors in Vermont.” Okay. You know, there’s oat milk in there that benefits the Water Wheel Foundation. You know, cool stuff like that. Okay. They should mention it and say, go to Spotify, listen to some Phish. We’re moving, we’re ranking these, so I’m moving this down. Somebody’s, who is it that saw Phish at The Sphere and went absolutely bonkers? I had friends that were there. Was that Drew Carey? Yeah. That were at The Sphere shows. Drew Carey. Yeah. Drew Carey said that was a life changing experience. We’re gonna move this here just below, in my opinion, just below the mac and cheese. I think they’re all really good so far. That speaks highly of the mac and cheese ’cause the ice cream is good as hell. Impossible Burger. Now, we’re Beyond boys. We have a- Only because they gave us access to the facility. They gave us access. Okay. When we made- On that show that got canceled. I liked it. But that doesn’t mean that we’re against Impossible. I think that, here’s what I’ll say. They’re both really good. And we had, when we did our, we’ve done multiple veggie burger taste tests. We had a really hard time deciding which was better, but we wound up feeling like Impossible was more neutral in a way. And you could like kind of do more with it for that reason. Honestly, even though Beyond let us in the facility, and I do like it, I preferred in the past. Beyond has, I think maybe a little bit more liquid smoke in their stuff. Like, a little bit more of a forced smokiness than Impossible doesn’t really have that. I agree. There’s something else in it that it’s like, kind of like, here’s what we taste like. And Impossible is more neutral. But this tastes exactly to me, like a high school cafeteria hamburger. And I mean that in a good way. I like it. Zero cholesterol. That’s amazing. Can you make like a straight up like smashburger with these? Yeah. And make it good. Like everything else is the same. Well it’s already, it’s already formed. Yes. I don’t know. I mean, you could maybe smush it. You could smush it. Nicole is saying that she smushed it. Yeah, I think a lot of places in LA do Impossible smashburgers specifically. And they come out really good. I love them. Again, if you’re trying to get away from processed food, we’re not accomplishing that, but. No, that’s very true. But no cholesterol. How are y’all doing with your cholesterols? Not, not the best. Okay, okay. Last time it was slightly elevated. I think we’re pretty- I’m slightly elevated too. How can we not be? How can the guys who taste this stuff for a living on the internet not have slightly, it’s a sacrifice we make for you. Yeah. My dad said it’s hereditary. Don’t worry about it. Oh, okay. All right, thanks, Charles. Yeah. I’m going with that. It’s hereditary, meaning you don’t need to worry about it. Yeah, that follows. Good. And then none of our family has died from it. That’s good. That’s a good start. You can have really high cholesterol and be fine. My grandmother-in-law lived to be like 93 and she had crazy high cholesterol. Man, some of those people who live a really long time have crazy stuff going on. And good for them. I don’t know. Good for them. I was thinking, well, I won’t say it. Don’t say what you were thinking. Okay. Don’t explain yourself. This is vegan ramen. Which feels like something that could have already been something. I feel like, okay. I’m not positive that this is the correct ramen. Oh, good. Why, because it’s not vegan? The other one definitely says like, plant based on it. And this one’s just regular Jin ramen. Okay, let’s just eat it and see if it tastes vegan. Okay. It tastes quite good. Maybe it’s not vegan. I don’t know, I’m not seeing anything so far. Here’s a piece of meat. What’s the ingredients section? You know. There’s so much. So many ingredients. Well look at the, isn’t that a meat piece? Mm. That one’s kind of like a meat piece. I see kelp extract. Listen, oh, and there’s dried mushrooms in here. Maybe it’s a mushroom. Okay. Textured wheat protein. Listen, this looks vegan to me, let’s just go with it. It’s good. You’re saying this brand has a vegan one. It does, yeah. Jin has a veggie ramen that, but I looked at- Yeah, you’re right. I don’t think this is it because it says veggie on it on the front. The veggie one. Well, it’s produced in a facility that also uses milk, eggs, fish, crustacean, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts and sesame, but. Okay. Well, it tastes really good. I hope that helps everyone. Rejected! See we have standards. Yeah. Get it outta here. Forget it. But the good news is that now that now we can eat more Impossible things. Uh oh, Rhett. Impossible Corn Dog. What? Have you tried this? No! These are like brand new. I didn’t think it was possible. This is, it turns out it is possible. It looks like there’s four. Do we have mustard? Thank you. Stevie. A-ooh, someone wants corn dog. Get that girl a corn dog. There you go, you can take that. Oh, oh, it’s so hot. Oh no. No mustard though. I highly recommend- Maybe I’ll dip it in the… Yum. In the mac and cheese. Yum. I highly recommend cooking these in the toaster oven or air fryer. They were microwaved. You wouldn’t know. But they’re still really good. And you wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t know. Especially if you dipped it. Mm hmm, mm hmm. Right, when I’m putting it in the corny coating, you don’t have this, you don’t have as much scrutiny of it. And it tastes good. The sausage tasted, I mean, I prefer the burger ’cause I’m a burger guy. Yeah. And I keep going back. I’m gonna end up eating this whole burger. No cholesterol. It’s a good burger. Nine grams of protein. Stevie, what you think back there? I’m trying to divide it amongst us, one moment. Oh my God, that’s so nice of you. It’s not as crispy as it could be because to your air fryer point, that’s the place for it to be. It would really, it really shines in the air fryer for sure. Yeah. But the flavor of the hot dog I think is so good. It’s really hot doggie. I mean, there’s no doubt. It is. If you replaced all of these things with all of these meat-based things with these plant-based things, it would be a net improvement, right? On your diet. I like it. I really like it. You do like it? Yeah, I like it. I think they’re outstanding. I love them. I wouldn’t, I think, certainly if I was a kid and I was served that. My mom used to, you know, back in like the early ’90s when like veggie, like vegan products were terrible. Yeah. She used to try and slip in some stuff that was just very detectable. You could slip this right in, you know. Slip it right in. Nobody will know. What if you just had just the wiener? When you slip in. Don’t… Oh god. Just the wiener. I’m not making a joke about your dog. Why are you doing that? ‘Cause I wanna know if you isolate the wiener without the corn coating, it is so hot. I know, I’m so sorry. If it’s like, oh yeah, that’s obviously from a plant. Isolate that dog. And see how we do. Now, I’m gonna go back in with the, yeah, maybe I should be vegan. I think that, well, Ben and Jerry’s also makes a lot of vegan ice cream that’s really good. I was gonna bring vegan chicken on here, but I thought it was too controversial. ‘Cause it’s like… I just like so many different things. I guess I could do it. It’s also not as good as these. The Impossible, wait, what vegan chicken were you talking about? Daring. Daring is our number one pick for the best vegan chicken. But I think it’s like, I think it’s really good for vegan people, but I think it can be a bridge too far for people who eat meat. Okay. Like it’s just like a little too weird or something. In nugget form you’re saying? No, in like grilled chicken bits form. Oh. I love it, I think it’s really good. They make a mushroom one now too. We should have that. Have you seen the one that’s just straight outta mushrooms, but it looks like steak. Yeah. I had that and I was like, this is pretty dang good. We tried. It feels less processed. We tried mushroom bacon the other day. That was incredibly delicious, too. You got just so many options if you don’t eat the meat. Yeah. All you gotta do is go over to Sporked.com and you can be reminded of all this stuff. Yeah. That you need to be buying and trying. Buy and try. Are we locking in on this ranking? I like the burger more, but I put the corn dogs here. I think the corn dog is a little bit more of a surprise. Yeah, yeah, and it is good. They’re all good except for that one that wasn’t vegan! Oh my god. I mean, and the bologna. I thought the bologna was pretty good for a bologna guy. I’m taking that bologna home. Well, you know what, you can have it. I love bologna. That’s the thing about me. Go get it, Gwyn. Goodbye! There she goes. 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