Welcome to Good Mythical More. We are about to see if we can figure out who the toughest monsters are in Dungeons Dragons, and we’ll do a 10 word story. But first, this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by Funko, the creators of the iconic pop collectibles. As the purveyors of pop culture, you’ll find a Funko product in any fandom you love. Yeah. As we became bigger fans of Dungeons & Dragons with our new show on the Mythical Society, Roll for Mythicality, we were so excited to find out Funko was putting out a new line of D&D characters and monsters. Calling all D&D enthusiasts and collectors! You’re gonna wanna take home all of these fan favorite heroes and villains. Alright, let us walk you through some of these. If you’re a true Dungeons & Dragons fan, you’ll know all about the Forgotten Realms. The most popular setting in the game. And if you’re a super fan, you’ll recall the series The Legend of Drizzit. It follows everyone’s favorite drow ranger, Drizzit Do’Urden, and his adventures after leaving the deadly lands of the Underdark. And if you were thinking, I wish I had a collectical of this cool guy. How about a collectible? You’re in luck. Here is the collecticle, or the collectible. And not only do you get I said it wrong two different ways. Yeah, yeah, okay. Not only do you get Drizzt, you also get his 600 pound Pet Panther, Gwynevar. That’s right, over there. And of course, we’ve got Icing Death. Yes, we do. Real name, Ingeloakastimizilian. Wow. Uh, and no one can get mad at me about the pronunciation because dragon names are impossible to pronounce correctly. If you’re not a dragon. Oh, I thought you did great. He is a fearsome foe who has a rather complicated relationship with Drizzit. But, hey, maybe one plane in existence. Existence isn’t good enough for you. So just cast Plane Shift, or jump into a planar portal, and head over to the city of Sigil, at the center of the universe, or the center of the multiverse. Okay, even better. There you’ll find Lady of Pain, the mysterious not exactly human ruler of Sigil, who is now available in adorable Funko Pop form. But don’t make her mad, or you might end up in one of her ethereal mazes. And last but not least, If, if, this is a big if, If you can successfully roll a strength check. You can pull this exclusive purple glow in the dark Pop Gelatinous Cube holding the evil Dracolich! What?! But if I were you, I’d keep him in there! So, open up your bag of holding, pull out some gold, and add these iconic characters to your adventuring party. Head over to Funko.com to get your new D&D Funko Pops. That’s F U N K O dot com. And show off your new friends by tagging Original Funko or Wizard D&D on social media. And thanks again to Funko for sponsoring this portion of today’s More! Yeah! Okay, ten word story. Dracolich! Oh, I wanted to start. Dracolich and Drizzt. Visited. The Lady of Pain. And The Gelatinous Cube. Hahahah. Only. Um… Sat there. Only sat there? Only sat there. It’s two words. So it’s Lady of Pain. It’s three. It’s a proper name. Let’s bring in TJ! I was trying to make a story about TJ at the beginning. Oh, so TJ would then come in? Yeah. TJ is official! Dungeon Master everybody. Hey, you want to take, you want take, uh, some of these home? Which one, which of ’em do you want? I, I, I’m a big gelatinous cube guy. Yeah. So when I saw that come in. Yep, yep. And they do kind of just sit there, although they also, it’s kinda squirm around the dungeon and like suck stuff up and everything gets in there. It’s, it’s yours. It’s yours. Wow. One moment. You can have Lady of Pain too. I already have one of those at my house. Hey, there it is. Oh. Uh, of course TJ is the host of Role for Mythicality and, um. You’re more than just the host. I think you’re the producer of it. I think you’re the. Also, correct. I think you’re getting the you’re, you’re creating the storyline. I am, I’m. You’re dungeon mastering. I’m the DM, as you say. That’s what I was looking for. You’re the DM, as well as the uh showrunner for Rhett and Link’s Wonderhole. But that’s another story. Two wildly different things. That’s another story. So you’re gonna school us on our knowledge of, uh, the strength of these actual D&D monsters. Y’all have played a few times now. I don’t know that you’ve encountered, uh, some of the monsters that we’re gonna see here, but some of the real iconic monsters from throughout D&D lore and history, and we’ll see what you, uh, think. And are we looking for one particular, like, attribute? Like, the literal strength attribute? Or are we just saying, like, these two in a battle? I think it’s the, I think, think of it like a boxing match. Uh, you know, let’s add a sports reference in here to the D&D that’s all going on. So if those two were to go head to head, you know, what do you think would happen? Is probably the way to approach it. Gotcha. I’m so ready. Hit us. Okay. I see Goblin. This is– Good gracious, that’s cool. This is disturbingly like Damnyell. In that there is a dog on his head. Yeah. He has his own Richard. And kind of an amorphous legs situation. Yeah, where are the. They’re wormy legs. That’s, yeah, if you’re, if you’re a nerd out there, kind of a Rob Liefeld drawing, kind of a legs and feet disappearing sitch. So this is just a general goblin or this particular goblin? Yeah, so, uh, monsters, there are like, uh, y’all kind of talked about the Forgotten Realms. There are a number of specific ones that have names of that. Uh, person or monster. You’re looking at this kind of the species here. So generalized goblin, general, and he just happens to be dressing up as a wolf. Yeah, he’s probably out there in the forest doing some, doing some hunting. And probably, you know, goblins can be a little bit mischievous. So probably luring you in with, uh, you know, a bit of, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You wanted to pet the wolf. All right. Everybody wants to pet it. Whoa. And then atropal. An atropal. Yeah. Atropal? It’s not atropal, like he’s a friend? Is he still attached to his mommy by a cord? Well, it’s funny you mention that. Yep, I’m gonna leave it there. Oh, no. What’s he attached to? Oh, it’s just a baby? That is an umbilical cord. Uh, you’re, you’re not wrong. We started it light hearted, kind of. We’re just a fun, whimsy sort of way here. Uh, so yeah, an Atropal I mean, I don’t, you know, you saw Goblin, it’s got the teeth, it’s got the terrifying things, this is just sort of a lumpy fella, so I don’t want to, you know, tip the scales of the game too much. Okay, so, hold on. This is a fetus. So he’s, he, he is still inside of Mommy? No, no, he’s out floating in the, uh, in like the plane of race. Okay, but he’s still, but he has an umbilical cord that is coming from his noggin. Yeah. Alright. What’s his sex life like? I have to imagine not great. Yeah. Although it’s all relative. You know, I mean, who am I to judge? He seems like he would be a little too much for just one goblin. Goblin’s gonna rip this guy to shreds. Like, his skin is paper thin. He’s super dependent. All you gotta do is cut the cord. Cut the cord. I think you need, uh, a group. Cut the cord and give it time. What is it, a gaggle of goblins? What is a group of goblins? A murder of goblins? A murder of goblins are gonna need to take out this guy. I disagree. One Goblin can’t take on an Atropal. Well, how big is it? I mean, is it like as big as a. That’s a good question. Relatively speaking, it’s quite a bit, quite a bit larger. Yeah, but it’s mushy. I’m sticking with the goblin. I’m sticking with my answer. Okay. Yeah, uh, between the two of these , uh, a goblin is a super common creature. It’s got what’s called a challenge rating. Uh, that means kind of how difficult, like you guys have generally played, second, third, fourth level characters, okay? A challenge rating would show you like how difficult it is for a party of your level. Okay? To fight a goblin’s got a challenge rating of one quarter. So, not even one. Uh, and Atropal is the stillborn remnants of a god. Uh, with the challenge rating ranging anywhere from like 15 to 30. Oh, dang! Not even close! Stillborn remnants of a god? Yeah, that’s correct. But it’s alive? It’s alive. It’s like, uh, it’s like a forgotten, like, they’re mad at the gods for sort of not finishing everything. Goblin’s got about seven hit points. Okay. Atropals get up to about seven hundred. I could not have been more wrong. Right. But, very right on. So, uh, one of the fun features of that monster if you were to fight it. If you are near it, uh, you, you take damage just from standing anywhere near it. Cause it stinks. Cause it stinks. It literally magically stinks. So at 30 feet radius, you’re taking damage. But, if you’re in possession of a Vorpal Sword, cut that umbilical cord and that effect goes away. Oh! So I was right about everything except the thing that mattered. Alright, what’s our next, uh, lineup? Beholder! Iconic D&D monster. Look at that dude. Look at the dude below him. Is he fleeing? That may be a hint. Yeah. These dudes are smaller than him. The dwarf is fleeing. The other guy sort of looks like he’s watching a rave that’s happening back here. Yeah. And just vibing. Is he tossing something behind him? Oh, smart move. Yeah. Maybe a distraction. So a beholder is almost like a biblically accurate angel situation. Not enough. Well, yeah. Those are all eyes on the tentacles. Whoa. Okay, what’s it up against? The Nilbog? A Nilbog. A Nilbog. I mean, this can’t be, I mean, Nilbog can’t take on a goblin, I wouldn’t think. So it’s just like a, he, look how happy he looks. It’s, do you notice anything about the spelling of Nilbog? It’s goblin backwards. There you go. And wow. I bet it’s. It’s like a good goblin? It’s a reverse goblin. Actually, fun trick. Uh, Nilbog’s are healed through attacks and damaged through healing. So they’re literally backwards from a goblin. So if you attack a Nilbog with your sword, it’s gonna get healthier. Uh, so if you want to take out a Nilbog, you cast a little healing spell. And I bet you that, I bet you that ugly moth, what’s the previous one called again? Beholder. I bet that Beholder is not smart enough to know that. That’s a good point. So when it starts attacking, it’s just gonna keep giving this guy strength. It just doesn’t look smart. So I’m going with the Nilbog, because, uh, you know, I can then call myself the Link Nilbog. The Link Neal Blog. Link Neal Blog. Which, uh, defunct since 2003. But if you want to check out the Link Neal Blog, it’s probably up there. Uh, I think that’s the good reasoning, but I’m going to disagree with that. Yeah, I sort of, I like. What’s this? What’s this? Ha! Oh. That scare you? A little bit. Played exactly as we planned it. Yeah. I tried to scare him, but it I didn’t want him to get a good look at it. I wonder if there’s a chance that he heard someone saying it goes on Rhett’s head might have given him a hint that something was about to happen. But did you think Did you think it was full of real cereal? Yeah, Damien was really, really convincing as he brought it in. Oh, really? But you didn’t wince. Yes. You didn’t wince. Well, because you gave it away. Yeah, you gave it away. By what, going like this? Just a look in your eyes. Also, yeah, there was, I, I’ve been, like we mentioned Wonderhole, I’ve been adjacent to enough potential calamity that, uh, I’m sure you’re gonna see a little, like, I flinched. I flinched in between this situation. Yeah, he didn’t flinch at all. Yeah. You’re like, fleeing for this. Damien made his deception check. Well, Nilbog, you’re going Beholder. As you probably guessed, I mean, Beholder is by far one of the strongest monsters in D&D. It’s absolutely crushing to Nilbog, but your reverse thing may sort of work, because The Beholder, you see that center eye, and then all the other eye stalks? Yeah. So, all the other eye stalks each have their own power that are rolled at random. You’re talking a disintegration ray, you’re talking a death ray, you’re talking a stone, one that can just turn you into stone, and the center eye is a non magical cone. So, if you’re anywhere being looked at by that beholder, your magic items aren’t working, your magic weapons aren’t working, your little spells aren’t working, which could be interesting against a Nilbog. You’re kinda right. So you’re gonna give this one to me? We’re gonna award you an emotional point. Emotional point. An EP for that one, yeah. You see how good TJ is? You gotta go over to society. D&D’s all about making sure people have fun. He knows how to make sure everybody has fun, even when they’re being a complete idiot. So if a beholder, like, you would never bring a beholder to, like, our campaign that we just did. Correct. Because we would all just die. You’d be gone. Right away. Yeah, you need like a bunch of high level players High level characters that have leveled up to that. Yeah, so that’s why you know we’ve, we’ve experienced a few like a mimic like a little baby dragon in the campaign But and and you know some nilbog and stuff can spring up but this type of stuff? Talk to us in season 13 or 14. Alright, okay, okay. All right next. Oh, Demilich, Demilich Demilich, Demilich. Demilich? Demilich. So that’s a one, it’s a cyclops skull that seems to be having some, it has zits floating around it. Like white heads. Man, I want to pop those. Yeah. Against what? Against what? Let’s see what the next, uh, Flumph. Against a flumph. The Flumph is going to go out real, real fast. Well, look, it’s, look how similar to the Beholder it is. I know, that’s. But that thing is, you know, maybe 18 inches tall. Uh, it’s jellyfish like. But there’s no sense of scale with this, uh, rendering. Yeah, but I’m just telling you. No, no, these are all, the screen, it’s all to scale. Right, yeah, so it’s literally. Within the range of this 24 inch monitor that we’re glancing at. So the bigger screen you watch is on, the bigger Flumph is. And also, you know, there’s, um there’s something to the naming convention, like, even though I’ve never heard the word flumph before, I know that flumph is not threatening. Sounds like a loser. Onomatopoeically it sounds like a nice thing. Whereas, yeah, flumph is in a slot. Demilich. I gotta vote for that. I’m thinking about the demi urge, you know, I’m thinking about, like, I’m just thinking bad, I’m thinking bad things here. Yeah. Don’t say them. We’re we’re agreeing. I just bad thoughts. There’s no way, there’s no way that that. Yeah, you’re going to be a million percent right on this one. I mean, if you ever saw anyone, like if you saw your buddy come home with a black eye from the bar, and you’re like, what happened? And he said, Flumph got me. We grew up with different lifestyles, TJ. I didn’t have any friends who fought people in bars. Okay, well, you know, it’s all, and what’s funny is, as you, I keep seeing us here on the screen, and we look like It looks like three dudes who told their wives they were going fishing, but instead we spent the day antiquing. It looks like we got distracted and we were like, ooh, and then, but for a minute, you kind of thought maybe we were going to be doing something. You feel like, you feel like antiquing later today? I, I wouldn’t mind taking a little drive around. Yeah. It would be fun. I mean, cause also there’s a lot of those places you’re talking rec, crates of records. Yeah, my girl. Listen, I tried to get Link to, I mean, it was an antiquing of a form. Uh, when we were in Solvang, and he just went to the record shop, and I went into a wonderful clock shop. Wonderful clock shop. Exclusively clock antiques? Clocks, and music boxes. I talked about this on our podcast. I’ve already heard about this, TJ. Oh, sorry. I’d rather you not make him ask me. Antique music boxes, including. To be a part of this again. A mechanical piano and violin in one called the Violano. Yeah, as it. Which is a giant cabinet that plays all these different songs when you put a quarter in there and it literally mechanically plays the piano and the violin and you can see it happening. If you. He wouldn’t come see it! Can you swap out the, like, could it play Cisco’s The Thong song? Could you swap it out? Yeah, so, there is a the people who, like, run, like, the software now. Let me see your booty go! Can basically, they’ve got a software interface that is sending the commands, and so you can get it to play anything. Whoa! They’re friends. Okay. Uh, Demilich has takin’ this one. Next! Of course. Kobold. Kobold. Everywhere. You’re slayin a lot of Kobolds in D&D they, they’ll, they’ll, they’ll get in your way. No, so this, it feels like a dragon man type of thing. Like he has like shoulders, like a man’s shoulders. Yeah. He’s got, he’s got collarbones like me, like very protruding. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, good lats. Uh, if that’s what that is. I don’t have good lats. Okay. Well the collarbone thing is still there. Okay. Yeah, you’re running a lot of Kobolds and dungeons and stuff. They’re very often. Um, you know, uh, they’re, they’re coming up on you a lot of times. Against Dracolich. We’ve learned all about those. Just, uh, learned about him. But he, this one’s not in a gelatinous cube. Not yet. How could he not win? Dracolich is huge, he’s flying, he’s got some sort of spiritual cloud inside of his skeletal body. He’s a, he looks like he’s about to just vomit something nasty. Everything you just said, a spiritual cloud inside your skeletal body. You look like you’re about to vomit something. Literally my last doctor’s report. Exactly what they said. Um, so thank you for the health insurance. Again, you guys, I appreciate that. Your doctor noticed a spiritual quality. Background in comedy. Yeah, boy. Uh, yeah, it’s a Dracolich. Uh, Kobold’s, you know, kind of an assistant. You’re gonna find him, like, assisting maybe dragons in dungeons and stuff like that. Um, and you’re gonna take care of him pretty easy. Okay. I mean, I have missed one of these. You haven’t missed one. I’ve missed one. There we go. Uh, what do we got next? Oh, cranium rats. Cranium rats. Look at the brains. Okay, so they got brains coming out. What? And rats are already relatively smart. You don’t want to expose your brain like that to like, the world of a rat. I don’t know that they had a choice, Link. I don’t think it was something they, like an elective surgery. So they’ve been scalped and skulled. Yeah. But there’s some sort of purple glow which makes me think that it’s somehow like protected from bacteria. A little force field. Yeah, alright. Against Elder Brain. Oh, it’s just a brain with veins coming off of it. Oh, this is like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Crang? Mother, I think, well yeah. Or not, you know, no other IP here. Okay. Just this D&D action. So is this, is it floating in a jar? Is it floating in space? Usually floating in space. Yeah. Oh, God. A little bit aimless. I can’t see how it would attack. I think it would I could really see the rats just. Maybe, it’s not a physical attack? I’m going for the rats. Goin’ for the cranium rats. Yeah. So, I think I’m gonna go for. A lot of them. I think I’m going for elderbrain here. I think elderbrain is going to pull it out. Despite it being old, I mean, it’s got the word elder right in there, and I think we all agree, you know. Elder means old. The older you get, the more useless you are, right? Oh, pfft. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three oldest crew members in the building. On YouTube. Okay. That’s for sure. Uh, Elderbrain is actually an advanced, like, kind of final form of a lich. Yeah. Uh, liches are magic users who have, like, tied their souls to an item of phylactery to become undying. Uh, so incredibly powerful. So Elderbrain, psionic attack, they’re actually gonna, like, Elderbrains can do inception. If you are not familiar with D&D, the, the words that TJ is stringing together. It’s like a foreign language. But if you are, you’re having a great time. That’s what’s so amazing about it, is the depth with which you can go, and still function in society. Absolutely, and there are. And in bars. In bars, often. There are hundreds and hundreds of books, other supplements, and I have read two and a half of them. So, trust me, there are people, there are people rolling their eyes at me right now. Right. But it’s a welcoming community. You know more than you need to know for what we’re doing. Nobody’s, nobody’s judging you. And cranium rats, actually, if you go back to cranium rats, even though they have a challenge rating of zero, so they’re basically useless, um, that, the little brains do emit a glow, so if you’re in like a dark, you’re in, and under, you can’t see anything, and you hook up with some cranium rats, they might show you the way. So they’re only good as a flashlight? Pretty much, pretty much. And they can sense your emotional state, uh, I believe. So they’re, they may come towards you if you’re not, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like my lady of pain? Kind of like, kind of like your real life lady of pain. Watch us on the special second episode of Roll for Mythicality’s second season on the Mythical Society. Check it out now at RollForMythicality.com.