Welcome to Good Mythical More. We ask you to tell us your stupid little mistakes you’ve made, and we’re gonna rank them. How are we gonna rank them? Let’s decide in a little bit. But first, we’re gonna freeze frame. I bet you we already did, but let’s– [sappy music playing] Do that too. So they’ll have options. Uh, okay. Yeah. How we, what I mean by how are we gonna rank these is like, are we gonna go from– From big to small? The stupidest or the, the best, or. The one that make us horniest? Let, let’s do stupidest and maybe secondarily, which ones make us horniest. And um, I was told by Chase that we asked you guys. Try to get the K on that. Chasek. No, a you said a, it sounded like you said, asked. I’m like, yeah, yeah. I don’t put the K in. You assed Chase. I asked Chase. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I assed Chase and it’s my business. I’m glad I didn’t see that. Uh, but it’s kind of funny how I put the K on Chase though, wasn’t it? You like that Chasek? Yeah. There’s nobody named Chasek. There’s no one like you either. Um, so Chasek said that he asked y’all to give like salacious things that mistakes that you had done, and he said that Mythical Beasts are so good. Or maybe they’re just so private that they didn’t have anything salacious to say, so we ended up using your small mistakes. So if this episode sucks, it’s your fault. Ooh. That is a big mistake. Well, they’re all silly. They’re all, uh, they’re all they comedic. So if anything, the Mythical Beast understand, uh, the assignment, what entertainment is. I, I think what we should. The ask assignment. The ask assignment. But we should take these down so that. Okay. I’m gonna be reading them in the order. You can put them anywhere. Alright. Okay. You’ll figure out, you figure out what– We’ll keep ’em in order. Okay. I just don’t, there’s no reason to go ahead and have ’em up there ranked. Sure. Uh, okay. First one, pacifier. My daughter woke up in the middle of the night. I went to her crib while keeping the lights off besides the glow of a sound machine. I realized she didn’t have her nuk. Which I guess is a pacifier, nuk. Have you heard that one? I think that’s the sound the baby makes when sucking on the pacifier. And I saw it on the floor. Never heard it though. I bent over and picked up a dog turd with my bear hand. Oh, well at least she didn’t put it in your child’s mouth. Or, or? I am Mitch Lang. Did they? No, no, that’s the end of the story. Uh, ended on picking up the dog turd. Hmm. A poor soul. Uh, that was at my house yesterday. Who? I just, I won’t say who it was. It was a guest that was visiting. Okay. Uh, Sean’s pretty good about, um, not crapping on the floor, but he had a very exciting day yesterday. And so when he got home, he crapped on the bathroom floor, the guest bathroom, and somehow one of our guests proceeded to put both feet in it, one and two, and then stepped around the house. Is this bare, bare feet socked, feet shoot feet. We don’t let our guests go barefoot. So it was a shoed person. It wasn’t a horse, uh, but it was a shooed person. Were they small enough that they didn’t step on it with both feet at the same time? I, I didn’t see it. I heard about it. And then when I got home, I saw that Jesse had written in a sharpie on a scrub brush poop. So basically like she, I, this is a new, the poop brush is a new brush. Just like, don’t use this for anything ’cause I used it for poop. Like a hair brush? No, like, like, like a, like a brush that you like hold like that. Because I think it got all around the house. It’s just you was like getting it on off of all kinds of services. Yeah. But you can clean a cleaning brush. And then do what? Brush your teeth with it? Nope. Clean other stuff up. No, this is a poop brush. You gotta be careful. ’cause if you read the poop brush upside down, it’s gonna say Boob brush. Oh, boob brush. And then you’re gonna think it’s the boob brush. Oh gosh. Okay. Well. I’ll call her in a second. Baby. Don’t use the poop brush on your boob by accident. I’ll just text her. How’s her boobs gonna stay smooth if she can’t brush ’em. Pacify, you know, coconut oil. We’ve all been there. I think this is, I, this is pretty good, but I predict there’s at least two that are worse. Yeah. Who hasn’t touched a poop? I stepped on a poop last night. Oh. Why were you keeping that? That was so relevant. Why are you keeping your poop from us? Well, it, I didn’t wanna one up you. Okay, well let’s keep, keep going on this. If you do. I was wearing flip flops. Ooh. And I was, I was walking down the hallway and we have this rug in the hallway. It’s like a runner. And it’s, um, it’s very detailed, so you really can’t tell when there’s poop on it. Poop hides. There’s like a log right there. And, uh, the only way you tell is because you’re stepping, you’re stepping and all of a sudden you don’t have to step as far. All of a sudden, a floop doesn’t flip. It’s like when you’re walking on steps and then you realize, you, you think there’s, you’re at the floor and there’s one more step, and you, it’s the opposite of that. Oh, a little bump. I think there’s gonna be rug. And then there’s like something, and I’m like, Hmm, okay. There’s the rug. Now what? Ooh, how old was it? It was pretty dang fresh. Mm. It is embarrassing. Do you ever, you ever find a turd on the floor and just think, I’m gonna let that one sit? Oh, hell yeah. Until it dries up. No, until somebody else finds it. Because he who finds it must clean it. Oh, come on. That’s, that’s cold. We, we all do it. We have a little flag. We put it in the poop. In our house. Poop flag is right next to the poop brush. So if you’re the first person to see it, you flag. Oh, no. Jesse might be putting flags on her boobs though now if she gets confused. If you could put, see, the boot flag is a boob flag. Oh, this is a problem. I like that though. You identified that it’s there, but then the next person who sees it has to clean it up. I’m just talking about the fact that it dries up and it becomes easily extractable from the, from the floor. Unmuted. What’s this? Was on a customer service call when I asked for a card number. When I asked for a card number. Okay. Yeah. They responded that they didn’t have it handy. I was unaware my mic was set to my laptop, not my headset. So me thinking I muted myself, I said, of course you don’t. Why would you be so prepared? She was not happy. Oh, ow. That’s– Spicyboi. That is really. Unprofessional. I mean, you must not enjoy your job, at least in that moment to be saying something like that. We’ve all been there, right? Good answer. [Crew] Yeah. Good answer, family feud. [Carney] Dude, what is Link’s problem? He’s being such an idiot today. Carney hit the poop button, I mean the mute button. Your finger was on the button. Um. I don’t, I don’t, you know, I feel for the folks in customer service that you are on the front lines and, uh, the front lines of capitalism and it can’t be easy. I would think that things like people not having their card number, there might be a way to, uh. Let that be a welcome distraction. You know, it’s just like, okay, you don’t have your card number. I’m gonna read the book that I’ve got over here while you get it. You probably have a quota. That’s the problem. Oh, that’s true. A lot of the, um, things now before you talk to a person, you gotta enter in all that, which, which is nice. Sometimes you have to say your number, you count, say, or enter your number. Kind of whisper it. Well, then I, here’s the problem with me. I get quiet when any of the, they start asking questions. I just get quiet and they keep asking me questions. Then all of a sudden, I’m, I’m talking to somebody. I had to call the airline. And so then you call, they ask you for your, your flyer number, you know, and– Your frequent? Your frequent, and, uh, whew. I don’t know my number and my number is on my phone. And so they’re asking me, and now I gotta get out of that app and get into the other app. And by the time. I’ve getting gotten to where I can get to the number. Now all of a sudden they put they’ve, the menu options have changed now onto something else. Oh, what do I do about that? Memorize the number. Don’t do anything. Write the number on my hand? Do nothing. And you’ll get to somebody. But then they’ll be like, what’s your number? And I’ll be like, gimme a second. Yeah. Okay. That’s fair. Does this make you hornier than the poop or? Yes. Okay. And there may be an inverse scale. We’ll have to see. I like a woman in a headset, so, yeah. Well this, that was from @ SpicyBoydg. Okay. All you like a woman who’s talking to someone else while she’s with you? It was just my attempt at, uh, at Mild humor. Okay. Yep. Um, by the way. I have cooled off. Oh good. Thank God. I had to towel off my entire body and then I did what I always do. I didn’t take a shower. I ain’t got time for that. Right. Um. I blow dried my body with the cool button. I think it’s blew drew. Or blew dry. I blew drew my, my body with the cool button. Blow drew, what is it? It’s blew drew.. And I went right up the, I went right up up into the taint. Huh? Thank you for that information. Mm-hmm. Thank you for that. Lemme tell you, dust and debris was blowing everywhere. Ugh. It’s been a while. Huh? You were in, yeah. You were in there. No, I exited. I got outta there. Hey, maybe getting hot and sweaty is what, that’s what causes you to perform well, I mean, like, you, you. I won. You won. You had to have some athletic prowess. Yeah. And look at me now. No taint dust. Maybe your problem growing up was you never got warmed up enough. That’s think that they never let you got warmed up. I think that was it. Yeah. Huh? Banjo. I bought a banjo not knowing how to play it. Still having student loan debt, never learned to play it. Then sold it at a garage sale years later at a fraction of what I paid for it. Hmm. Okay. @ Peeta, that’s kind of. When I said earlier, these are really– This made the cut, huh? Silly. Yeah. Hold on. I’m real horning. I had not read down the page. Hold I’m real horny. Binging. Yeah. Makes me think of deliverance. Exactly. It’s more of Swisher. Swing, swing, swing, swing, swing, swing, swing. You know, do you know that Link and I have, uh, just a little fun fact, Link, Well, no Link hasn’t I. I haven’t. Have, uh, I have rafted down the river where deliverance was filmed. Really? Did you squeal like a pig? Uh, it is on the border of North Carolina and South Carolina or Georgia. And you know where Georgia and North Carolina meet, a lot of people don’t know. They kiss at the tip. Mm-hmm. There’s a river there. What’s the name of that river? Shenandoah? Our friend Eric was a guide on that river. You remember when me and Mike went and went on that little trip and you didn’t go for some reason? Yeah. He was on that river. It’s the, it is the Deliverance River. And he was in a, but you know the name of it. He was in a phase. Chattooga? Chattooga. He was in a phase, Eric was, where he was wearing rope sandals. He was a river guide and they, and they all had rope sandals. Mm-hmm. Have you anybody seen the rope sandals? Mm-hmm. Why? Why you wanna know? Mustard. Well, I was gonna say, did I see, did you see Brittany Broski playing a banjo? Can that girl play a banjo too? Why every day this, this, this talented woman, she has so many skills. Deep. She’s deep. Every day she’s coming out with something else. Yeah. Well, she, well, I saw a video on her not so secret, secret, Britney, uh, TikTok. Where she was talking about how Dolly was able to play with nails and she was with acrylic nails and she was trying to do it. Yes. And she was basically doing it, but you know, she was demonstrating that if I didn’t have these nails on, I would be playing the heck out of this banjo right now. What is upcoming? What does she have? Oh, well, she’s releasing music right now. Well, I’m saying that her skillset is, and she doesn’t even say, it doesn’t start with, Hey guys. FYI, I can play the banjo. No, no. We’re already into, we already should know, can play the, I think she probably can. Uh, she probably knows sourdough. I would think that she probably could do that to bake to me. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, I could think she probably knows how to operate a abacus. She seems like the kind of person that would do that. Okay. Well I’m looking out for that for you and I’m sure she can play the recorder because, come on. Hold on now. And, uh, but to be good and, uh. I don’t know if she might have an ant farm. Yeah. Okay. So those are probably the next few things. Uh, mustard, working at McDonald’s. I burnt my hand on boiling water by mistake. Oops. But then this old lady working, said she needed to massage mustard on it. I’m in pain needing to put my hand under water. But I didn’t wanna be rude, so I just sat there while she massaged me in mustard. This is from, at Miss Peachy, 96. Well, we don’t know how it ended if it worked, but I don’t think of mustard as a, so, and I mean, really massaging a burn in, in and of itself sounds horrible. Never heard of that. I don’t. And I think there’s a reason we haven’t heard of it. ’cause it’s not a thing that’s, that’s a big one. That’s, that looks really dumb. Um, that’s, I mean, it’s your burn, you know, you’re not trying to please people when you’re, you know, but it was an old lady in a pain. Yeah. Oh, was she an old wife with a tail? Because I guess Oh, oh, wives tale. You know, that’s what it is, right? What’s the condiment that we discovered that if we put it on you, it will burn your skin? Hot sauce. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, yeah, that makes sense. Groundbreaking. Well, and ketchup too. Long enough, because it’s got, is it the vinegar? Vinegar? There’s vinegar. Because mustard probably has vinegar too, right? Does too. I don’t get it. You know, when I was drinking the hot stuff, it splashed on my face and like I had, I had to put a cold cream on around. I had, I made a cold cream goatee before I started blow drying my entire body. Yeah. Which now you see why I was not present for any of this. You know, I, I got my dad to start doing this. I talked to him about it on Dispatches. Yeah. And I, I talked to him about how I blew dry my whole body. And, um, I got him to try it and he enlisted. His wife Nancy, to help him. Oh God. Well, you should have made a, made a stipulation that you can’t get your wife to help. No, I think it’s good bonding. He’s so hairy. His body’s so hairy. Yeah. And you’re gonna make a woman sit there and blow dry that. She liked it, I think. Nice. That’s what they, for now, she might, he poofed up like a poodle. Like a what? A poodle. A poodle. A poodle. He poofed up like a poodle. He poofed up like a poodle. That’s what he said. What’s this? Uh, free sinks. Not me, but when I worked at Coldstone a long time ago. A lot of people, people work a lot. You know what? A lot of people are doing things. We got customer service, we got McDonald’s, we got Cold Stone people serving. I got, I caught a new employee about to give samples with spoons from the used bucket. Oh. I asked him, has he given out any other samples from that bucket? He was like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. So somebody ate a sample of a used spoon from @ fullmetalagent. Chances are you’ve done the same. But this is not even, I mean, this is throwing somebody else onto the bus. Yeah. Horny. Well, it starts with not me. Yeah, not me, but y’all haven’t done much, I guess, that you’re finding out things that people did at Coldstone that weren’t even you. I wonder. You know, it was probably good for ’em. Spread a little spit, you know, exchange a little biome. Yeah. It’s not nearly as bad as you think. Yeah, probably drop. It’s all perception, but you put ’em in the can and they’re all in there. So it’s not just exchanging on one person, it. And there might be a slurry, you probably get like a super bacteria, which is, could be a good thing or a real bad thing. Is there an ice cream slurry that’s like came out of people’s mouths at the bottom? I think, you think most people, what percentage of people lick a sample spoon clean? Oh, this is a great question for you. When you get a sample, do you do the crazy thing that you do where you don’t take all of the ice cream off even with a sample spoon? Um, if I don’t know if I’m gonna like it, I might. So you sample the sample, just to be clear, right? The whole point of the sample is to see if you like it. I don’t know if I’m gonna like this sample, so lemme take a sample of the sample. Yeah. This is an infinite regress, my friend. I mean, I’ll eat it all now because of I don’t want to have someone else have to eat it. I’m just saying that I would’ve thought until I thought about the way that you do things that. There’s no ice cream in the bottle of a sample spoon container. But now I realize there is. Lando and I were talking about the best way to consume ice cream. And I do stand by the– By the mouth, probably. The cone. Yeah. Not rectally. Uh, yeah. I’ve tried it, licking it off the cone. That’s the best way to eat ice cream. Any ice cream. Any ice cream. I don’t feel like licking gives you enough, gets you enough in your mouth. There’s not enough things. Well, lemme take that back. Yeah. That I would, I I’ll stay, I’ll stay by it. There’s not enough things to lick, so when you can lick something, you should take full advantage. What? I think there’s plenty of things to lick. There’s not, there’s not enough things to lick. So when you have the opportunity to lick something, go for it. But if something’s real fun to lick, it’s real fun to also just to bite. I thought of all people, you’d be with me on this. Vore. What is that? Vore? I used to work, on a Disney show and one time during a professional Zoom call with Disney TV execs, I somehow taught them about voring. Question mark. Question mark. It was like 10 minutes of me flustered and stumbling, but they seemed thankful from at, incaseyouarent know what voring is. You know, Vore is, uh, the erotic desire to be consumed by or to personally consume another person or creature. It so it’s horny, it’s horny cannibalism. The process of eating in general. So I have that written back here. Oh, and I forgot it was written on your card. Oh, and I, as you were saying that I didn’t see you reading it. And I just had a moment of like, how does he know? He knows the exact right. But you know what? I, I love the fact that you didn’t assume I was reading it. You assumed I knew it. Thank you. Something’s working. Um, yeah, all of your bs. So, uh, so this is what we were just talking about. I think I have vore, you have lick whatever the lick version of vore is. I’m like, if you want to lick something, I wanna bite it. I want to eat it. Okay. Right. And so if there’s ice cream in front of me, licking is not. It’s just like that whole thing could be inside my mouth right now, substandard. You know what I’m saying? Fair enough, brother. I’ll lick you. Eat. Um, so licking Lincoln, you talk Disney people about this, biting buddies. Is this why that new movie’s coming out? Inside Vore. I actually, I’m, I’m also standing by this ranking. I’m trying to come up with a Pixar pun real quick, and that’s all I could come up with. That was good. Inside Vore. Yeah. Vore story. So now you gotta a clap for yourself. Are you gonna see Vore story? Watch an extra Naughty episode of Good Mythical Weekend on the Mythical Society now. Uh, he’s wearing those, those shoes. He’s wearing those shoes with the individual toes. That guy. Ah, yes. What? He– He was allowed in?