We’re checking out the weirdest vending machines in the world. Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” In our world, not too many vending machines, but in the world at large, there’s a lot of vending machines out there. When you say your world, what do you mean? Just the places you frequent? Yeah. Maybe I’m just speaking for me. Are there a lot of vending machines in your private world? No, but I will say, in the place that I worked in my first job, right outta school, there was a vending machine. There was a couple of vending machines. At the Engineering depot? Uh-huh. It was a office building that had our firm in it, but also had, you know, other places. So it had a vending machine. You go down there just to know you’re still alive, you know? Yeah, just to have something to do. Do we need a vending machine here at Mythical is what I’m beginning to think. Well, you know, the like, renaissance of the hipster bar vending machines? We’ve been to some bars where like, the vending machine is like, ironic. You haven’t seen this? Where it’s like- Like, just cigarettes. Yeah. Y’all want a cigarette bar here? Cigarette vending machine? Cigarette bar. Is that something y’all’d be into? What would be in them? Ironically, not cigarettes. Like, weird little toys or like, a book of poems or, you know, that type of thing. Y’all want a book of poetry vending machine here? Well, we have the vending machine for the vendor reveal segment we do now, so- I have bad news for you, Link ’cause you said that and no one corrected you. But we are not special enough to own that yet. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We rent that every time. We rent it every time? We rent it. But maybe one day. Well. At one point we owned, remember that vending machine that we did own that we put a bunch of pork in? We own that one. Oh, yeah. But then we put a bunch of pork in it. Yeah, we did. Yeah, right. Okay, well, let’s see some from around the world and see if they’re better than what’s in my private world. Okay, this is the live crab vending machine. It’s back in the early two thousands in Nanjing, China. Live crabs? The crabs are in these containers that you see next to it. They were kept between 32 and 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Not enough to freeze them, but cold enough to make them docile. And they sold for between- I’ve heard enough. $1.50 and $7.50 and they moved 200 crabs a day, and also there was a guarantee that if you get a dead one, you get three live ones for free. I mean, crabs got it pretty tough already. If this is your destiny, like, you become a crab and then you get caught and you’re like, “Rats, I got caught.” That’s what the crab- “I’m about to die.” No, you’re not. And it’s like, “Oh, you’re not gonna kill me? No, no, no, you’re gonna- Oh, I’ll go there. Oh, they’re gonna eat me. I knew it. No, no, they’re not gonna eat me? They’re gonna put me in a vending machine.” “In a little plastic thing, keep me cool enough to be docile.” It’s a sad picture. We’re rating this one low. We’re gonna give it a one based on the fact that it was a number one in the picture Reminds me of the lobsters I had to kill. Oh, yeah. That was an interesting moment for you. It’s really traumatizing for me. Okay. It tasted good. Pizza. Let’s Pizza. And we have a video for this one. Let’s see- Where is this? Can you tell me? It started in Europe, I don’t know where this one is. “Raw materials, freshness in authenticity.” We have a video. Let’s see. Oh, this is- Oh. Oh! What? It’s making the pizza? You mean “Dough, dough!” It’s making the pizza in- Oh, that’s cool. Is that-? I was like, “There’s no sauce coming out.” There goes the sauce. There was no sauce in the middle. Yeah, what are we gonna do about that middle part? Don’t look directly into it. Don’t do that! Don’t look at the- Why? Hold on, guys. Is there nothing in the middle? This is the only thing we’re ever gonna know about this is that there’s no sauce or pepperoni in the middle. What in the world? Why? Is that how they like it over there? Well, I guess if you were to slice it, you know, you’re only having like, that one to two bites without those things. Plus, it’s ready in three minutes. I think you might be onto something with not needing sauce in the middle. Because when you slice it- It doesn’t leak. It doesn’t leak? It doesn’t leak. But there’s also not that first bite with all the nice toppings on it. There’s nothing- Yeah, but you know what? You kind of ease into it a little bit. You’re like, “Is this pizza?” “Well, kinda.” “All right, now it’s pizza.” The triangle starts out, it’s just a little bit, it’s just dough and cheese. Okay. Now there’s a concerning part. I think that you’re looking at the Italian language photo maybe excerpt for Let’s Pizza. But there’s a little slot at the bottom that says “pizza cutter” and- Oh, you shove it back in there? That’s concerning. You shove your pizza in a different slot and it cuts it? I guess, but why is that slot so much smaller than- I bet you you just, you pull out a- You pull out a pizza cutter that’s on like, on a retractable cord. Right. Huh. Yeah, we found the fatal flaw. This pizza can’t be that great. And that’s just a screen that makes it look like it’s a pizza oven. You and I both know the only thing back there is a microwave. No, we just- Oh. There’s no actual flames. That’s a whole- But we saw the- It’s not a microwave though. It cooks the dough. Okay. I mean, we saw the dough get cooked. This one’s- I can’t think it would taste good. But if you were hungry and you saw that? I am thinking that it doesn’t taste good. Mixed reviews? Mixed reviews. I can’t, I was hoping to find just like, a Yelp page or something, but it’s just mixed reviews. I would try it one time for sure. The fact that it- I’d wait two and a half minutes. It’s written in Italian tells me something. Points, points, points. Points, you know? I guess they need pizza at all times. But their standards have to be higher than ours for pizza, right? So, I would try it. Yeah, I’d give it a, “Definitely try this once.” Yeah, and plus there’s no like, living beings in cages in the back of it so that already beats the first one. Okay, what about the cat hat vending machine? Oh, this is like a, you know, a little twisty, you put a quarter in and you twist it and then a little container pops out with a, you know, like, a mystery hat. That’s fun ’cause you’re walking around with your cat in China- Japan. And Japan. It’s $4, from 2018. I don’t think cats like this. Cat is gonna immediately take this thing off, right? Here’s photos of real cats in them. I think, $2? I think this is pretty good. $4. $4? Not quite as good. You ever put your cat in anything? Any kind clothes? No, I don’t think we have. I think, yeah, we had some Easter bunny ears. Oh, here’s a Christmas one, speaking of holiday themed. Oh, yeah. We love a Christmas sweater for our dogs. This is cool. Especially, you know, you don’t know which one you’re gonna get and you just throw it on ’em. Then they wrestle to get it off and act weird but you got an Instagram photo. That’s really all that matters. This is good. We glossed over the fact that the first one is all vegetables. I like that. And next to the Christmas one, there’s fruit, a banana. They’re always themed. Yeah. That’s pretty cool. The corn. Okay, cat hats. We like. Yeah, we do. Capital Hill mystery soda machine was a vending machine in Capitol Hill, Seattle, notable for its mystery buttons, which dispensed unusual drink flavors. It’s unknown who restocked the machine, which originally caused the development of a local legend that the machine was haunted. It operated from the late 1990s until its unexplained disappearance in 2018. What a shame. But it was a 1970s branded Coca-Cola unit. 75 cents. I love that style. You remember that? You remember those vending machines where you just press the rectangle? You press the big rectangle. I remember what it feels like. And then I remember what it sounds like. When it disappeared, it was replaced with a note that said, “Went for a walk.” A lot of mysteries around this. I love the fact that there was somebody- Excuse us. Bless you. Ugh. Behind this for all these years. And you never knew what you were gonna get. We need more of this. This is cool. This is 10 outta 10. This is the kind of thing that we should do here at the office, a mystery. Might generate waste. Waste? Why? ‘Cause people won’t like what they got? Yeah. You don’t like what you got, you put it back in. Oh yeah, put it back in. You put it back in. Put it back in on the top. On the top. Just sit it on the top and then someone will come back along, him, and put it back in the vending machine. I don’t know why, but like, in a low foot traffic part of Los Angeles, I saw a very brightly lit- And I’ve told you about this, vending machine. A store that’s nothing but a vending machine. And it has a robot that will get everything and bring it and dump it down. But it’s, you know, it’s probably 10 foot wide and it’s got like, peanut butter, laundry detergent, candy- Did you buy anything? No. I just looked at it. What? I don’t know. That’s the difference between me and you. I’m like, me and Christy were looking at it and we didn’t buy anything. It has a robot, I didn’t get to see it work ’cause I wasn’t willing to buy anything. Yeah, exactly. Like, the robot would’ve done your bidding for like, a dollar. Well, you don’t bid. And two, it costs a lot more than a dollar for like, Tide pods. Well, you need some peanut butter. I actually have a lot. And I don’t like to eat candy. Well, tell me where it’s at. There was nothing in there I wanted. It’s in a low foot traffic area of Los Angeles. I wouldn’t have needed a reason other than to watch the robot do his thing or her thing. It’s just a little weird. I don’t know why. It’s not gonna catch on here. Next. Okay, this is a walking Coca-Cola robot vending machine. Oh! Here we go. Best of all worlds. Maybe a person in there. Probably a person in there. No. Where would the body be? They would be so tired. Well, it’s not that deep. Like, it’s only one beverage deep. Why you think everything’s just gotta be a person in there? I mean, it’s 2025, man. We got robots. But where is it going? Private schools? It’s going to wherever Coke is needed, which is really everywhere. I don’t know. It looks like a private school. I bet it doesn’t walk that far. Do we have video of the Coke machine working? No, in fact, like, we couldn’t find a lot about this. We think it was for just like, a Coca-Cola promotion in Japan. But, you know, as like, a little marketing stunt that didn’t get a lot of marketing. If it was a popup, it might be a person. I see vending machines that are chained. As evidence by the last one, people will steal an entire vending machine. Oh, yeah. This thing right here, if you don’t care for it, it’ll walk off on you. How about- I think that might have been a joke. Not sure. They got those little robots that deliver food. How about what? Oh, no, let’s keep talking about this one. No, I’m done. I was just gonna say, if you put one of those in your flatbed pickup truck, what would happen? Like, what’s the charge? And then when they catch you, you’re like, “I was just helping it. I was just helping it get to this next place.” What’s the infraction? I think that would be theft. Yeah. Right. How about an umbrella vending machine? This could be very handy. And how about a video? Not in this town. Yes. And I bet you can return it. Oh, how about not a video? How about more stills that are from a video? Well, if you get enough stills quick enough, it becomes a video. Look at that. On the left they’re pushing the button. It’s kind working. And then on the right, they’re holding an umbrella. Or an um-brella as we sometimes call them. How many um-brellas do you have in your house? I actually have one in my car. I think Christy has one in her car and I think we have three at the house. You are over prepared. I know. In this town, having an umbrella in your car? Yeah. I don’t know, at some point- When was the last time you used it? There was a point in this year, but many, many months ago that there was a bit of rain. Yeah, but was it- Did you find yourself in situations where the rain plus needing to be in it necessitated an umbrella? Like, that’s what I find. Even when it’s raining, I’m kind of like- Oh, I don’t believe in rain in Los Angeles. Even when it is raining, I’m like- You just look the other way? “It’s gonna be weird if I take an umbrella. I’ll just get a little bit wet,” if it is actually raining. Right. There are plenty of places where this is gonna be a stellar find. When you’re done with it, can you return it? Well, there is this one. If we have a photo of the first, going back to the- Yeah, so the, I don’t know if it’s called DyDo, but it’s a drink company in Japan and apparently they have- Those are like free to use umbrellas that you like, they’re thinking you’re gonna get a drink from them and you might need an umbrella and you can take an umbrella and then leave an umbrella. Bring it back. Yeah, yeah. Take an umbrella, leave an umbrella. It’s a little different than the pennies in the convenience store, though. I like this. I would like this because if I was in a place that needed an umbrella, because I hate carrying an umbrella. Boy, one of my least favorite things. I don’t like having any accessories. Don’t you hate not having one when you need it? Yeah, but I hate accessories. I just don’t like having anything that’s gotta be in my hand. Yeah, I feel that. You could strap it on your back. Put it down one of your pants. A sword that’s carried behind the back. Okay, and finally, we’re taking things up a notch with the Gold To Go vending machine. Yes, please. It is, of course, in Dubai. It is guarded by armored guards all day long and it has 24 karat gold in 320 different forms. What? Like gold bars, coins, jewelry. There are six of them across Europe and Peru. Peru? Peru. And, oh, there’s one in the US in Boca Raton. Good old Boca Raton, Florida. Gold To Go. Gold when you need it. So, what? When do you need gold? I’ve never- You need gold right now, Link. I don’t know if this is an official mission statement, but it does say it aims to make ordinary people comfortable with the idea investing in gold. Right, ’cause sometimes you’re like, if I wanted gold, where would I go? You did that. Do you own a gold brick? I do not own a gold brick. 25 years ago. Yeah. When my father-in-law was like, “You need-” To diversify you. “You gotta have some precious metals.” I didn’t have any money, but I had enough to get a little bit of silver and a little bit of gold. And I still have it. It’s worth a lot more now. He was right. It’s not a brick though, it’s literally- Like a little? I think it’s an ounce. I have one ounce of gold, is probably… Have you ever bitten it to see if it’s real? This big and flat. Flatter than that. That’s what it would be like if I were to show it to you, but it would be gold. And you got one of silver? Yeah, I got more silver. But still, they’re like this big. So in case the dollar completely collapsed. I’d be the guy with some gold and silver. You would go to Ralph’s with pieces of silver. Pieces of gold. I would bite ’em off and I would buy bread with them. That’s how it works. Is it soft? I don’t know. Can you etch into it with your fingernail? It’s in a plastic thing. I’ve never even taken it out of the plastic thing. Well, take it out. Let’s have some fun with it. No! 25 years later, we unbox Rhett’s gold. I’m afraid what you’re gonna do with it. I’m afraid. I’mma bite it. But no, I think you should have some. But here’s my philosophy- Of it? I’ll take it. Everybody’s like, “You gotta have gold for when the dollar becomes worthless,” or whatever. And then I’m like, man, if all of a sudden all the money isn’t worth anything, you really think everybody’s gonna be like, “Who’s got gold?” No, they’re gonna be like, “Who’s got food? And if you’ve got it, I’m gonna kill you to get it.” I mean, that’s what’s gonna happen. Is it really gonna come down to the fact that you got some precious metal? Really? Is that what it’s gonna be? I don’t think so. You’re talking to your past self right now? No, I’m happy that I have it. Because it represents- It’s cool to show to people, especially kids. I’ve never seen it. You know, my kids thought it was cool at the time. “Dad, let me see it.” Oh, okay. You know? Well, I wanna see it. Well, you’re not a kid anymore, so you can’t. Well- Too bad, you gotta go to gold-to-go.com. Okay, now I know why it exists. Gold-two-go.com. When your friend won’t let you see his little bit of gold- Got a friend- Come to us. He won’t let you touch his gold? Or even see it. And I’ve known you had it for 25 years. Mm-hmm. And you’ve never let me see it. Yeah, you don’t even know where it is. I don’t. It may not even be at my house. You keep it at the bank? I don’t know. You don’t know? Maybe I don’t. Oh. Maybe I do. I’d hate to know that this is what’s gonna come between us. The downfall of Rhett and Link was Rhett’s Gold. Sporked is your guide through the grocery aisle. 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