Are you living in the most boring city in America? Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” We’re gonna be looking at American cities. We’re going to be ranking them in order of most boring to least boring. This is, we’re basing this on some article that was written. “Finance Buzz,” we all know it. “Finance Buzz,” our favorite magazine that says Buzz in it. They analyzed 75 of the biggest cities in America on factors such as culinary scene, access to outdoor adventures, mm okay, nightlife and recreational activities to generate an excitement score for each and determine the most boring cities in America. So, these are all the most boring, but you have to find out which is the most, most. Food, nightlife, activities. Let’s consider Tallahassee, Florida. We’ve got some information on the back here. Tell us. Please don’t forget about the manatees, the alligators, and the historic boat tours through Wakulla Spring State Park. Oh, sounds enticing. They have a railroad square. You’re not really selling this. Well, they’re all gonna be boring. Well, I’ll also say we have one decoy city in there, so you have to figure out which is the decoy and is not even on this list. Not even considered boring. Exactly. You can attend a Florida State football game. There is a college there. They like to win. There’s a college there that’s a party school. You’re in Florida, so take that as you will. But I think that there are alligators, like you were getting at, and manatees. Florida’s a loose cannon. You never know what’s gonna happen. Wild card. We’ve got good friends who grew up in Tallahassee and… They left. Often, you talk with it in a derisive tone. Talk about it in a derisive tone. A little bit. We got 11 of these, so we’re gonna kind of blast through ’em. Wichita, Kansas. Wichita, Kansas? You can attend the Wichita River Fest. A festival featuring local and national musicians. Wow, national musicians. Everybody goes to Wichita. Children’s activities, athletic contests, water activities, cultural experiences, and festival food. Pretty generic sounding. I think that culinary scene in Wichita and nightlife and access to cool recreational things, pretty low. Kansas, unless there’s a tornado coming, it’s not that exciting. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They have a 40-foot-tall steel statue where the Big and Little Arkansas Rivers converge. Yeah, they have to build the things that are interesting. It’s so flat. This, so we’re gonna go more boring. You can attend, yep. Wichita’s more boring than Tallahassee. You can attend the Wichita State Shockers basketball game. Yeah, I don’t want to. All right, fine. That’s more boring. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Oh, it’s not easy to get to probably. But you can visit Falls Park. There’s waterfalls there. South Dakota’s beautiful. You can visit Security National Bank of Sioux Falls. You can, a bank? Oh, it’s where John Dillinger robbed the place in 1934. Well, that’d be fun to go and experience the vibes. You can indulge yourself at CH Patisserie, a baked pastry shop opened by “Top Chef: Just Desserts” winner Chris Hanmer. Oh, Chris Hanmer? Hanmer. I think this- It’s not even Hammer. I would think that this is- More boring than Tallahassee. More boring than Tallahassee, but not as boring as Wichita. Yep. Because you got water. I mean, you got waterfalls. Yep, you got waterfalls. Memphis, Tennessee. Now, this is a destination. Memphis is not boring. I mean, you got Graceland, Civil Rights Museum. You’ve got barbecue out the wazoo. Beale Street. Beale Street, oh my gosh. You got a Bass Pro Shop that’s shaped like a pyramid. This might be- I think now is a church. Yep, this might be a- Really? Yep. I think so. Because you gotta do something with it now that it’s not a Bass Pro Shop. Well, I’m just surprised that it didn’t survive as a Bass Pro Shop. But it will survive as a church. I feel pretty, that you’re pretty right about it. Somebody look that up. ‘Cause we stayed in a hotel that overlooked it and people… Well, well, no. This is the decoy. I think it’s still open. It’s still a Bass Pro Shop? Yeah. I just think about Bass Pro Shop as a religious thing. And a church. I guess. Yeah. This could be the decoy. It could be the decoy. Leave it over there. It’s going over here. Oklahoma City. We’ve been there. Which is in Oklahoma. I was on a cross country road trip with my son, Locke. Okay. And we stopped in many different places. And of all the places that we stopped, I will have to say that Oklahoma City seemed to be one of the less lively places of all the places that we stopped, that were major cities. Then why’d you stop? Because it was the only place to stop on 40 in Oklahoma that seemed like a place to stop. Hmm. And also, I looked up cool things to do in Oklahoma City, and there was this thing that said, “Go into the hallways, the underground hallways underneath the city, ’cause it’s kind of like the back rooms.” Oh. And we did that and it was literally just a series of hallways that were lit different colors. And there was basically nothing there. Were you trespassing? No, it was a system of hallways that connects office buildings and stuff. And I don’t know what the, why it’s underground. Maybe ’cause it gets so hot, I don’t know. But I gotta say- Like fluorescent lighting? But I think- Business lighting. But they have an NBA basketball team. The Thunder? So, you gotta have a certain level of nightlife to support professional sports. And so, I actually think it might be the least boring place on our list so far. It’s a major city. You can stroll along Bricktown Canal in Bricktown where there’s shopping, dining, drinking, and strolling. Yeah, you can stroll. Okay, there’s also the NCAA Women’s College World Series. There’s a lot of sports, it’s a big city. So, we’re gonna put that fourth, but we might, okay, now we get to pick on Ohio. Columbus. I quite enjoyed Columbus on the tour. Ohio always treats us so- We love Ohio. Well, Chase and I did the, we did kayaking in Columbus. Somebody was still sleeping when we were doing the kayaking. Yeah, yeah. Was I there? Yeah, you were the one sleeping. We make fun of Ohio, we do. But when you really think about it, they’ve got rivers, they’ve got giant Great Lakes. They’ve got a bunch of major cities. Oh gosh, Rhett, they have a topiary park that fully recreates the scene depicted in George Seurat’s famous painting “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.” Really? Yeah. Wow, that was a lot. They have the Short North Arts District and Ohio State football. So you’ve got, again, you got a college town, so you’re gonna have nightlife. I think this is better than Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City? I don’t think anyone’s ever said Oklahoma City like that. Oklahoma City, really? Okay, I’m willing to put it up there. Ah! Oh, is that fate? It’s fate saying that we shouldn’t change it. We shouldn’t change it. Yep, Oklahoma’s fighting for its spot and we’re gonna give it to ya. You’re saying, sorry, but you’re saying Oklahoma City’s more boring than- More boring than Columbus. Okay, okay, okay. Oh. No, less boring. Switch it, switch it. Less boring. You’re right, you’re right. Wait. Okay, okay. Yeah, Oklahoma City is what I meant when I said that. Got it, got it, got it. Mm hm. Yes, yes. Okay, so fate didn’t do anything to us. Phoenix, Arizona. This could be a decoy. I don’t- People be moving to Phoenix. People be moving to Phoenix. Now, it’s hot. It’s hot as hell. Dine at Lom Wong. They’ve got good food though. Sample the food of Chef Yotaka Martin, winner of the James Beard Award for the Best Chef in the Whole Southwest. They’ve got good food, you’re in Arizona, and you’ve got close proximity to cool stuff. Lots of professional sports. You’ve got professional sports. Suns, Cardinals, Diamondbacks. Lot of nightlife. This could be a decoy. Put it over there with Memphis. MLB Spring Training. Put it over there with Memphis. Boise, Ohio. Now, I’ve been told by somebody who lives in Boise. Idaho. Boise, Idaho. That it is Boise. I’ve just been told that. But they like it Boise. Boise. Boise, I don’t know. Dine at West Side for the famous finger steaks. Ugh. Battered and deep fried steak strips. Tour the Old Ohio Penitentiary. Fun. I actually, I like to tour prisons. I like an old prison. Built in 1870? Okay, lots of history. Visit Freak Alley Gallery, the largest open air mural gallery in the Northwest. Open air murals. Okay. Okay, and last thing I got is the Idaho Anne Frank Human Rights Memorial. Idaho, I don’t think, I don’t think we’ve got a lot of great culinary stuff happening in Boise. We need to push- But I think that it’s got good nature. The thing is, we’ve done everything in like order. Not really. Except for these. Not really. And these two. I do believe it’s in the top three. Move it above- Tallahassee. Yep, yep, yep. That’s what we’re thinking. Boise. Sorry, Boise. We’re back to Florida. Jacksonville, Florida. The largest land area of any US city. Enjoy the large land area. Enjoy the nature and beaches of Little Talbot Island State Park. There’s beaches. It’s on the beach, it can’t be that bad. Watch the blessing of the Fleet Boat Parade in the spring and attend a Jaguars football game. So, you got pro sports. I don’t think you’ve got very good food, but you’re on the beach. I think we’re somewhere. I think Tallahassee and Jacksonville are gonna be close together. So, we wanna do this. So, it’s more boring than Ohio. I think it’s less boring than Tallahassee. No. Tallahassee’s got. Tallahassee doesn’t have a pro sports team. They got a college. They got FSU though. Vibrant college. Okay. Let’s leave it. We’ll let it stand. San Antonio, Texas is making an appearance. Charles Barkley has had some choice words about San Antonio. You can visit and remember the Alamo. You can tour the National Bridge Caverns. Ooh, large underground attraction, we love that. We love underground stuff. San Antonio Spurs, Six Flags Fiesta Texas Amusement Park. Amusement Park? That’s fun. Amusement park. That’s gotta be somewhere in the middle. I don’t think that San Antonio is a decoy. No, no. I think that San Antonio is maybe- But it’s low. I think it’s, what do you think between Jacksonville and Columbus? Between Jackson, we wanna split Florida with it? I don’t think it’s that boring. No, it’s not that boring. And I think Columbus, Ohio feels pretty boring. Okay. You’re so far saying that Oklahoma City is the least boring out of all these cities. I’m just confirming. Well, I mean, look at what we have to choose. All right, just, I didn’t know. So, well, I didn’t know how much you loved Oklahoma City. We have to come back to it. Okay, okay. We have to come back to it because we gotta come back to it. We’ve got one more, Then we’ll shuffle ’em around if we have to. Corpus Christi is what I’m gonna say when my wife dies. But what does Corpus mean? Corpse. Oh, Corpus. Christy is her name. Yeah, yeah. Corpus is what she is her body. You know, that would be corpse-us, I tell you. Corpse-us. Corpse-us. Corpse-us Christy. My wife is corpse-us. Okay, all right. IE died. That’s dark, man. Okay. I don’t know anything about it. Tell me about it. My wife is gonna be buried in Corpses Christi. It is just so fitting. We had to do it. We can visit the USS Lexington after her funeral. It’s on the Gulf, right? A World War II aircraft carrier turned into a museum. Over 80 miles of sandy beaches. Pay your respects at the grave of, not only Christy, but Selena. Oh, okay. When the top three things to do is to go to Selena’s grave. We’re pretty low, right? But I think Oklahoma City’s more boring. They got the Thunder and they’ve got a Bricktown Canal. Okay, maybe I’m wrong. But the sandy beaches. Sandy beaches though. Sandy beaches. Corpus Christi, Texas, Oklahoma City. I think Phoenix is the decoy. I think Memphis is the decoy. Memphis is awesome. And we’ve been to Memphis. There’s a reason why we went there. ‘Cause we wanted to go. I haven’t been to Phoenix, even though I do want to go. It’s the home of St. Jude. Yep. Okay, then we’re gonna say Memphis is the decoy. Okay, you’re locked in with your whole lineup? Well, okay. So we’re saying Wichita, Kansas is the most boring. That seems weird, doesn’t it? Mm. No, it’s Kansas, man. Just look at the skyline they chose. South Dakota, then Idaho, Tallahassee. Boise is looking pretty nice in this picture. If I’m just looking at the picture, I’m thinking, “Oh, it’s lots of trees.” Not really, in the foreground. Oh, and there’s mountains in the background that you can get to kinda easy. It’s Idaho. I don’t think Tallahassee needs to be moved. I think that Columbus is more boring than both of the Florida cities. Okay, I’m willing to do that. So, we need to move Florida cities here. And then we need to put Ohio up there. And then we’ve got Oklahoma, Texas. But Columbus, Ohio probably has good, better food. I bet you they have good restaurants, some good restaurants there. I don’t know about that move we just made. I don’t know. Let’s celebrate Florida. Let’s separate Florida. Yeah. We’re splitting Florida with Columbus. And now, we are locked in. Okay, let’s start from 10, the least boring city. We have Phoenix, Arizona. Okay. Nice. Reasoning being there are just 1.7 concert venues available for every 100,000 people, which is the third lowest rate in the country. It also has the sixth lowest rate of annual celebrations and events per capita. Hey, we got that one. We nailed it. Nine, Tallahassee, Florida. Oh. Ooh, see, I tell, you were trying to move it. Move it more boring. All right, shoot. There are zero award-winning restaurants in Tallahassee, and it ranks in the bottom five in the number of sports teams available to watch. And the bottom 15 in terms of both concert venues and must see attractions per capita. Dang. We should have used the anecdotal evidence that we have. But there’s zero award-winning restaurants and it only gets worse from here? At number eight, we have Columbus, Ohio. Okay, hey, that’s where- No, Rhett, we’re going this way. Oh, I’m looking at the wrong side. Yeah, I told you, you just moved Columbus up and I said Columbus had good restaurants. Well, apparently. Yeah, it doesn’t say anything about the restaurants. It’s not terrible. It says it’s among the 20 lowest scoring cities in terms of amusement places and must see attractions per capita and the 14th lowest rate of nightclubs per capita. Okay. Then we have at number seven, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. OKC has some of the worst parks in the country and it also suffers from a dearth of hiking trails. A dearth of hiking trails. It has the third lowest rate of international tourists per capita. And more than half of all restaurants in Oklahoma City are chain restaurants. Ooh, ouch. Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, ouchie. Then we have at number six, San Antonio, Texas, which has some top tier tourist attractions. But why is it ranked low? It’s the bottom 10 for every single data point relating to nightlife and celebrations. Go to bed early. Okay, got it. Okay. At number five, Memphis, Tennessee. What? No! I know. Yeah, boy, you thought that was a decoy. What are y’all doing with Memphis? Memphis? Fewest hiking trails per capita. Walkability scores that rank among the 20 lowest. Ofe. 12th fewest number of annual events and celebrations relative to population size. At number four, Sioux Falls. But it’s a tourist attraction. It doesn’t make any sense. Oh, Sioux Falls is number four. Sioux Falls and Memphis being so close together. It has multiple restaurants that have been recognized by the James Beard Foundation, but it has the highest percentage of eateries that are chain restaurants of any city in the country, 58%. Oh, wow. They like their chains. And tied for fourth fewest sports teams. Fourth lowest number of must-do attractions. Okay. Yep. Three, Corpus Christi, Texas. Okay. There it is. Man. Corpus Christi has no award-winning restaurants. Bottom 15 when it comes to the number of sports teams. Bottom 10 in terms of must-do attractions. At number two. Hold no, okay. But before you tell us this. So this means that one of these three is our decoy. Let’s guess. I think we may have been wrong about Boise, and I think Boise might be awesome. Because it has trees in the photo? It’s Idaho. I think there’s lots of cool stuff to do in Boise. Okay. I think Boise. I wanna say Jacksonville ’cause that makes more sense. But I just feel like maybe Jacksonville is just way more boring than we realize. Okay, what’s number two? At number two, Wichita, Kansas. Oh, crap! Oh. Oh crap! What’s number one, Link? More than 50% are chain restaurants. That wasn’t bad, we were very close to that. Bottom five of the country in terms of international visitors per capita. Meh, meh, meh. Okay, which one? And at number one. Really? Which one do you think it’s gonna be? You’re telling me one of our top. Yeah, is a decoy and one is number one. Jacksonville, Florida or Boise, Idaho. I just feel so lost right now. I think, I mean, we have a friend who talks crap about it. Boise is the decoy. Jacksonville is the worst, The most boring city is Jacksonville, Florida. Yeah! Our friends move from there. Lower instances of things like nightclubs. Oh, where’s Tallahassee? Yeah. Oh, way down here, okay. Yeah. Third lowest rate of nightclubs. Fourth lowest rate of concert venues. 54% of all restaurants are chains. So, that means Boise is the decoy. Yeah. We love you, Boise. Do do you have any information about Boise? Where it was on the list? Boise wasn’t even in the top 20. Wow. So. Good work, Boise. Yeah, we need to visit you, Boise. Keep it up not being boring. Watch the full recording of “Good Mythical Evening: Sloshed in Space” on demand at goodmythicalevening.com. And don’t forget to grab a limited edition tee while you’re there.