Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: EY3psnlFzhk
Episode Post Date: March 17, 2026
Episode Number: 3002
Transcript
We're making an alignment chart. Welcome to Good Mythical More. You've seen these alignment charts before, probably in a context of the, is it like chaotic evil? Neutral Evil. Lawful evil. Lawful neutral. Evil. Evil. Resident evil. Resident evil. Yes. And uh, but apparently people on the internet, people, because it can be done, are doing it shall. So this way, this one is a grid of everyone does it. Some people do it. Almost nobody does it. Everyone talks about it, talking about it. Some people talk about it. Almost nobody talks about it. We're gonna try to fill this out. I believe in us. Yeah, we're gonna fill it out. Uh, I've never done one of these, but I would assume that it, it, it's easier to start with, like the extremes. Everybody does it and nobody talks about it. And. Yeah. Almost nobody does it, but everybody talks about it and then you try, you gotta fill in the other one. So something. 'cause in the other extreme, everybody talks about it and does it. So where do you wanna start? I wanna start with, uh, nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does it. It's kinda like. Um, sniffing your own, eating, your boogers, toenails. Oh, I don't do that. I do, I I, I have never sniffed my own toenails. And I'll talk about how I've never done it. You want me to do that? You think of all the things I've done. That's just not something I do. I'm not, I'm not looking to do that. Right. Uh, sniffing your own toenails, you mean? Once once. Cut. Once. Cut. Rhett. Um, what we're ta First of all, let me just say that we are currently talking about it, so we're violating Yeah. But we, we, we, we talk about things that others can't speak of when Okay. I feel like when I cut my toenails and sniff them, what I, uh, I will sniff them almost as a check, as a health check. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying I do it every time, but sometimes I'm like, lemme just see if I'm, lemme see if I'm still okay. See if your feet are moldy and, uh, but I don't think that ev I don't you do that with the belly button too. You dig? You dig and sniff. No, I'm not catching as much stuff on my belly button. Um, I don't think everybody does either of those things though. But I think everyone, I think everyone smells their own farts and then they don't talk about it. Like I saying, most people, I, if you smell someone else's, you probably have to talk about if you smell somebody else's fart, like, you know, we share an office and uh, here we go. If I smell his fart, I immediately move away. You know what I'm saying? Like, if it, if the cloud from his butt intersects my nose, I move away and I'll say, oh, man, and move away. Right. But let's just say that I generate an equally rancid cloud. Yeah. I just sit in it, you know what I'm saying? I just, it's, it's me dance with the one who brung you kind of a thing. It's just me, man. And I think that everyone does that. I, I run from my own farts. No, you don't run from your own farts. Yeah. Well, I walk them away. Get away. Get away. You've been with me too long. Go, go, go see someone else. But what if you're by yourself? You've been inside me. Don't be around me. Okay. Let's move away from bathroom humor. Wait, what about the other day when a group of us walked into your office? Okay. Good question. And it was just Lincoln there. Okay. And as soon as we stepped in, God, we got knocked out with the worst fart I've ever smelled in my life. And he looks up and says, it wasn't me. He's the only one in there. That is not what I said. You eventually did say it wasn't me. I said it wasn't me, but the first thing I said was, you might wanna go back out first. We might want, we might wanna delay this meeting. You might wanna go back out first. I didn't know there was a meeting in our office and see at that moment. See? So you were gonna stay in there and sit in it? Well, I was fleeing to, I was standing. When you walked into the room, was I not standing? Yeah, you stirred it up. That's because I was running away from it. Yeah, I think you were sitting and your fart blasted you into a standing position. That's how bad it was. Kind of. It did, and, and then y'all walked in at the same point. And now here I'm standing in an empty room and let me just say, it stinks. It was awful. I think I, I think I was like, I think you got into something. The first thing I said was, you should go over there. I didn't, I thought that it there would be any area. No. It, it was also over there. And it was everywhere. It was everywhere. All at once. Uh, I mean, you didn't knock. Yeah. Well, it was the, the appointed time. It was the appointed time for you to fart. Okay, so let's move away from bathroom humor. It took us a while to, we need to put it somewhere on there though. It, where is smell? Smell? Someone's fart. Everybody does it. Some people talk about it Farts. Some people hate fart humor. Smell your own. Are we, are we talking about smelling your own or smelling someone else? I think we've moved into just farts. Some people talk about it, but everybody does it. Yeah. Some people don't talk about it. Some people hate it. Some people have clicked away and I'm gonna misspell fart so that we can forget that we ever, and also the algorithm doesn't catch it. Yeah. I'm calling it fert. There. Lemme just think of something random side, saddle ride, side saddle. Um, well, some people, some people do it, do it, and almost nobody talk. Nobody talks about it. Yeah. That's, I mean, when's the last time you talked about, about side saddle? It's, it's not really been a topic of conversation in my, in my realm, right side saddle. It's hard to write sideways. I'm writing sideways. I'm, I'm riding side saddle. Okay. Um, I've never ridden side saddle. I guess I've never worn a dress on a, but some people do it. I mean, you can you ride side saddle on a motorbike? Yes. That, that also works. Almost nobody talks about it. We need to talk about it more. Okay. Um, let's think of another one. Um, checking your lymph nodes. Okay. You know, hypo? Yeah. I'm a, I'm a hypochondriac and hypochondriacs in the house. Woo. Okay. So how often, Brittany, how often do you check your lymph nodes? Um, actually never. Oh, well that's not, you should start added a new thing to my repertoire. You should start. Yeah. It can be a different type of, so I'll just be like this sometimes and I'll be like, am I sick? Am I sick? You know, but I never talk about it. You n almost nobody talks about checking your lymph nodes. But some people do it well, that's side saddle. Oh crap. You're still in side saddle. I didn't realize I'd side saddled myself. Right back to side saddle. Yeah. What about, um, when, uh, you, you stay out too late and then you've got to, you, you can't get a ride back to, um, your car. Okay. Alright. There's like a train out. Too many, maybe you're at Disney and you can't get a ride to your car. 'cause the shuttles have Yeah, the shuttles. The shuttles aren't running, the bus isn't running anymore. That's it. Uh, it's not the type of thing you talk about. I mean, I feel like we'll come up with another one. What about, um, what about when you're shop your card shopping? Mm-hmm. And card shopping, you pull out a card and you're like, oh man, this is a good one. Mm-hmm. And you're like, oh, crap. But they don't have the envelope for this card. I'm gonna take another envelope from another card and I'm gonna put it with this card. Wow. I've never heard anybody talk about it. You're coming up with stuff. Nobody, I think almost nobody does, does it and all. Who has anybody done that? I've done that. Oh, everybody's done it. Hey, everyone has done it. Nobody talks about it. Talks about it. That's what it is. So that's called getting another envelope for a car mismatch. Come up with an acronym for that. Start with a G. Yeah. I didn't realize I needed to give you a finer tipped erase Try erase marker for this card Alt. Envelope. Yes. Envelope, yes. And hold on. Is that wrong morally? I wouldn't say morally, but I would say in the realm, I would say Hallmark getting a no back here with, um, frown upon it because you're taking an envelope that goes with another card that might be from another company. So, and you are making it so that the problem that you are currently encountering will be faced with by someone else later. But they'll just pat, they'll pay it forward to get another envelope. Morally fine, but capitalistic wrong. Okay. Okay. What about, um, uh, bursting your eardrum with a Q-tip? I've never met anybody who's done it. Almost nobody does it. But people, some people, some people talk about it, some people talk about it. Some people do talk about it. It's one of the reasons that we aren't allowed to use Q-tips in the right way. Mm-hmm. So I think that one, that, that's right here. Q-tip. No, it's right here. Some people talk about it. Almost nobody does it. Yep, that's that's an interesting one right there. Eardrum break. Eardrum piercing. Just call it DP Q-tip. Eardrum bust Q-tip. Eardrum bust. What about seeing someone else's dog and imagining what it would be like? Hold on, doesn't everyone talk about it? I'm sorry. Everyone talks about the Q-tip ear buss, but almost nobody does it. No, no. Only some people talk about it. Some people, we've been here, we already know that. I, I, let's just move on. We, everybody talks about it. No. Go ahead. Well, that's not true. That's a crazy thing to say. Every I hear everybody always talking about it. I think about it. Okay, let's move on to what I was saying. Okay. Which was, what about when you see somebody else's dog and you imagine what it would be like if it was your dog. So you covet a dog. You know what I'm saying? You've done that, right? See, but if you talk about it, what you're saying, you haven't done that. No. I have. Okay. All right. I want that dog. I wish I had that dog. You, that's it. It's just what, what would it be like to be with that dog in the park? You know what I'm saying? It's like, while that dog's catching Frisbees, like, I don't think Barbara could do that. But you're thinking it. But I got, you're doing it, but you're not talking. I've never said it until now. Okay. You know, I don't, almost no one talks about this. But some people it's side saddle. Hey, hey. I'm sorry. I just, come on. Come on. Hey, I just keep coming back to side saddle. But listen, listen that, if that's, if that's a reason to say bad words, then I think it is. You might need to take a bath or something, but why do I only think of things that fit the side saddle category? Yeah. Because you gotta think about things people are talking about. But not doing, but hold on. But maybe almost nobody does it. Who else has coveted a dog? I mean, just one. Sure. I coveted a dog and I don't, okay, so you're right here with me. And you're not even backing me up. I mean, I never say I, I, I would, I would steal that dog. I never, I never talk about it. Oh, okay. What about seeing somebody who has, and almost nobody does it. What about seeing somebody who has something hanging from their car that's dragging on under their car uhhuh and looking at 'em and thinking about, I'm not gonna tell 'em you, you, like, you think you, maybe you, you should tell 'em and then you don't. Right. So what? But the doing it is talking about it. So that's, that's is it really? Yeah. So you're saying in this case, talking about it would be, or you saying it to the person? Yes. Seeing it but not talking about you want to talk. Doing it can be seeing it, but then do you speak about it to someone else who's in the car with you? Look at that. Something's hanging from that car. Dragging. Somebody needs to do something about that. I think everybody sees things. Dragon from cars, first of all. So everyone's, this happens to everyone. I don't think anybody talks about the epidemic of things dragging from cars, but we do all see it. Hmm. It is a problem. Let's just put it up here somewhere. Uh, nobody talks about it. What about just a, but then some slightly flat? No, no, no. What about a slightly flat tire? All right. What's doing it? What is doing a flat tire and what is talking about it? Uh, having one, having one, and then you don't tell anybody that you got a flat tire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just reset a little bit. Okay. All right. I just, I'm, I'm throwing things out there. Almost nobody does it. But everybody talks about it. So what's something that you talk, everybody talks about it. Nobody does it. Uh, an activity that everybody talks about that nobody does. Um hmm. What's something that Something wrong? Something wrong and bad. Murder. Murder. Everybody talks about murder. There's podcasts about it, but like literally not that many people do it. But let's, is there a certain type of murder. Axe? I mean, some people talk about axe. We could, this whole thing could be murder and we can have different types of murder. Well, I mean, it's too late, too late for that. You want to, well, it's not, it's not. We're getting kind of desperate. Uh, I think s murder is, some people talk about it and some people do it. Cool. Or nobody, almost nobody axe murders. Well then that's Q-tip, but murder in general. I mean, we gotta get somewhere. All right, so So general murder. General murder. General murder. Like you, I mean, you probably, the thing is, is you probably, everybody talks about about it, have talked to someone in the past year who has murdered someone. Oh my god. Yeah, just like at the grocery store or something. Oh my God. You don't think so? Okay. In your life, you've talked to somebody who's murdered somebody. I'd like to think so. Yeah. If you got away with it, but almost nobody does it really, but everybody talks about it. What about wanting to meet a murderer? I think that everybody wants that. Everybody wants to do it, but nobody talks about it. People murder. Some people want me to murder two, but then, and some people talk about it. And some people talk about it. That's the perfect, that's the sweet spot. Wanting to meet a murderer. Meet a murderer. Yeah. Murderer. That's a fun word to spell. It almost looks like puppeteer in reverse. Does that have the same letters? Yes. It's exactly. Murderer. The same letters, puppeteer. Yep. Same letters. Lot of the same letters. All those T's. Lot of the same letters. Some different letters. Letters. The The P's and the T's. All right. What about using your, let's go with Puppet, using your sock. As a puppet for intimacy. No, I, that's not what I meant. Well, I've never heard anybody talk about it. Well, okay. Yeah. Sock intimacy. I, everyone does it. Nobody talks about it. No. No one does it, and no one talks about it. You're the first person to ever mention it. Come on now. Using a sock puppet for intimacy. It's just a sock with eyes. Okay. It's still, it's still a sock. You know what I'm saying? Are you talking about self intimacy? Uh uh Yes. Self intimacy with a sock puppet. I mean, how do we get here? May maybe one you're about to throw away. Jesus, maybe one that's done his time. Almost nobody talks about it. And, uh, we're, are we at side saddle? No, this is, no one's ever talked about it. Alright. So almost. And no one has done it. Everybody does it where I'm trying. No, some people do it. Some people are intimate with a sock puppet. Almost nobody does it. No, almost nobody talks about it. Almost nobody does it. I mean, when we get one, you should just write it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't question it so hard. So now we're looking for some people do it. Sock puppet. Everybody talks about it. Let's not give this short shrift. I'm writing it. Sock puppet self intimacy. Pop sock puppet intimacy. Yeah. And you wanna do self, I don't want to do self sock, puppet self intimacy. SPSI almost nobody talks about it. Almost nobody does it. Hmm. So now we are in everybody. These are things everybody talks about. So we just gotta go with things that everybody talk about. Everybody does it, and everybody talks about it working out. Everybody talks about it. Some people do it, some people do it. Um, and maybe we just talk about a type of working out. Yeah. Like CrossFit. Everybody talks about positive. Uh, they used to. I think everybody talks about, um, HIT training. Hit training. Yeah. Everybody talks about high intensity. There's another eye in there. There's two eyes. High intensity. Maybe just cardio how cardio interval, high intensity interval training. What if we just talk about cardio in general? Everybody. Everybody talks about cardio. Cardio. Everybody should Doing more cardio. Cardio, that's it. Yeah. Some people actually do cardio. Some people do it. Everybody talks about it. Everybody does it and everybody talks about it. Uh, reading. Um, signs. Nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about it. Everybody does it. Nobody talks about it. That would've been perfect reading signs. I I, I wish that I wouldn't have put sock pocket puppet intimacy down there. What? I, you, you did it. Everyone does it and everybody talks about it. This should be the easiest one. Well, I mean, the, the a, a really easy one is eating. Yeah, everybody talks about, but we gotta have a good, strong ending news more. We gotta be better than that. So something everybody talks about and everybody does. When's the last time you heard some, you said something, everybody was like, everybody talks about it. Everybody's talking about it. Like what's the thing that you can absolutely guarantee that people are gonna talk about when they get together? Um, uh, what they're watching. What they're watching. Yeah. Uh oh, I got it. I've got it. It's perfect. Every single person's talking about it and everybody's doing it. Everybody's doing it. Everybody's doing to you, man. Everybody's talking about it and doing it. You don't wanna be left out, do you? This is a promo. Clip this out and make it a promo. GMM. Everybody's doing it. Everybody's talking about it. Celebrate 3000 episodes of Good Mythical Morning with the 3000 Mornings Tee and limited edition 3000th Episode Coin. Mythical.com.