Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: 4MdwDBAPFb4
Episode Post Date: April 24, 2026
Episode Number: 3030
Transcript
We bought the weirdest candles on the internet. Welcome to Good Mythical More. We bought the weirdest candles on the internet, is what I said, and the teaser. And now I'm gonna prove it with one of them. A hot dog in its bun, floating in milk. I got that dog in me. Yeah, that's just distasteful. I mean, I got that dog in me. Everything about, everything about this is great. Except just the, I just think the graphic design on that, I got that dog in me is the thing that I'm really taking issue with. Yeah. I mean, how easily does that come off? And then well see. It's like that. Yeah. You really just doesn't, you've really defaced it now, so you, you really want a, a candle. I mean, this candle loom, y'all gotta do better with your. With your labels. I'm sorry. It looks like, uh, just a, just like a printer in your back room. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We gotta up the game on that. Now, how does it smell? Smell like dog. It does smell like hot dog, right? It don't smell like dog. It smells quite nice. But isn't it true that candles, you, you just shouldn't be burning them, right? You shouldn't be burning them because they, they put things into your lungs, right? Candles. It's candles bad. Now particulates are flying. There's like specific kinds of candles that are, uh, a little better, but yeah, you're supposed to keep a window open. What is the thing, um, that we discovered on the show where that's an alternative to candles and it's just like a boiling. Little, like you plug it in and it's oh, oh, oh. Um, pasteurization, you, you're, you are all over it today. I still don't know what got that dog in me actually means, you know, it just means you got that dog in you. It, it means that you are prone to hump at any point. It's sexual. Right? I think it can be used in multiple contexts. I think that like. Like if you're doing something underhanded? No. So, because dogs don't have hand if you were a sportscaster. Okay. Yeah. And some, some football player just takes the whole pile with him for like seven yards and they're just ripping at him and he's not letting go on the ball. And then he gets into the end zone. And somebody was an announcer and they were trying to say like they were trying to do something that would go viral. They would be like, he got that dog in him. They would say something like that. So it it, it's like an inner strength. I'm saying It has, it is multi-use. And then sometimes you might do something like, you know, you're trying to be a little flirty with your lady, and then she says, why are you acting like this? And you're like, 'cause I got that dog in me. See, that's obviously, I'm just saying that's too Well, yeah. So I'm just saying, yeah, I, my understanding and I realize that I could be wrong, but also we give words meaning, so why can't I just make it up? I, I just. I I, last time we talked about this, I asserted that it, well, it, it made me think literally that a dog is humping you in a very effective way. Well, and I don't, I just hate the phrase because I always picture that being violated by a dog. That's an interesting take. I mean, I guess it's 'cause you got that, I got that dog in me. Well, how does a dog get in me? Oh, you literally are thinking, yeah. Okay. Now that's interesting. And I think of it every single time people say it. And if I heard a sportscaster say it, hold on. But this is weird because I would, if I'm trying to be sexual, I wouldn't then I would say, I would say, you want that dog in you. Right? That's what was, that's what confused me so much. Okay, so that doesn't, yeah, I got that dog in me. I'm gonna hump you. That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't, that doesn't make, I know. Doesn't make sense. I agree. That's why I've been so bum fled, but So now you like it. You like it now? It came full circle. I it You got that dog in me. You're gonna start saying it. No, but I don't, but, but picturing a dog hump is also something I don't like. Then don't picture that. But I can't, but give me something else to picture. That makes sense. Forgot that dog. A dog growling. What's your spirit animal? What if it was that dog? Yes. Yes, Jace. That's it. That's coming outta you. And it's, you're ready to do what a dog does, but not hump hump. Or growl or pee on the side of your house. Do a lot of things. There's so many ways that you do got that dog in you. Yeah. You like dog food, don't you? He does. He loves it. He got that dog in him. It doesn't make sense because it's just so ingrained that you do have that dog in you. You can't figure out any other way to, what is the official definition according to the internet at large? I mean, what do they, what do people actually say? 'cause I think that it is sexual, but I also think that it can be, uh, it's the food safety process that heats liquids, uh, to a specific temperature for a set time kills harmful bacteria, pathogens and spoilage and microorganisms without boiling them. Well, the fact that I learned today that that doesn't actually happen at restaurants, I just feel completely different now. Can't engage. Look at this one. Right? Got that taco in you. That's different. But if you get, oh, you want that taco in you? That doesn't work. It doesn't work. But getting in that taco, what is this? I wouldn't say that made by wax and this green stuff, they smell quite, we didn't open the green one because wet you guys to open it on set if you want to. It's supposed to be cilantro or something. That one doesn't say made with wax. Whoa, this is smelling good. No, it doesn't say made with wax. It says made by wax. Oh yeah. Is that a, that's the name of the, the candle, uh, artist. Is it? Or is it just saying, this cheese is wax. Don't eat it. It's just saying that it, it's, uh, but they didn't use the cheese. It is wax. It's all wax. All wax. It's got that wax in it. All of it's got wax in it. I got that wax in you. Um, you know, so, yeah. So you need to know that this is, this is wax. We have a lot of candles in our home. And, uh, when we have people over, which is, uh, a lot, Jesse proceeds to light all of them and or ask me to light all of them. And I will oblige, I will do that. I'm a good lighter and, uh, we just have so many candles and I just, I don't know how to feel about it, but I will say, does the air quality go down? Air quality goes down, but the air quality goes up in terms of just the smell part of it. And there's a lot of ambiance in a candle, but also you can burn your house down with a candle. It's happened. There's nothing, NN nothing good comes from a candle except ambiance and, and not even the smell. 'cause it's too strong. Too strong. A good candle though. You don't So you guys don't have candles? No candles. We have a few candles, but we rarely use them because it's an irritant for me. It's an, it's like a, it gives me a headache, but what about when you come over to my house for parties and there's all those candles? I get a headache. Didn't want to tell you. I mean that. Oops. Oh, I'm not gonna eat that one. Yeah, I'm just, um, I think I need to start having, um, filters that go inside of my nose that I've seen that workers in certain dusty environments. It's like an earplug, but it's for your nose and it's a filter thing that's inside of your nostril. I think I need to get those. Would that not be maybe more unpleasant than just the smell itself? Well, a headache's pretty unpleasant. Hmm. I'm fine with putting things in my nose. Don't quote me on that. Oh, these are stuck together. I got some of those things. This is cool though. You know how they advertise those things that make you breathe better at night? Some of 'em go on the outside and pull out and some of 'em go on the inside and push out. Which one did you get? I got the ones on the inside because my skin is sensitive and if I put an adhesive on my nose and pulled it out every night, I'd end up with the red nose Ru be Rudolph up in here. So what happened? I got that Rudolph in you. Uh, what, how, what's happened? I used it one night and I was like, that wasn't worth it. How, how did you know? Because I had something in my nose. Oh, but did, could you breathe better? I mean, it made more room, but it, it, it had, there was something in my nose and so I just felt like, you know what? It's fine. I can breathe. It's not like I can't breathe fine. I have a little bit of a deviated septum, so sometimes one side will be a little bit blocked, but that's why you got two nostrils. That's why you got two nostrils in you. Mm-hmm. Got the, I got two nostrils in. You got them holes in it now. I don't think you're supposed to. Yeah. Nope, you're not supposed to. That was a beautiful can lost. It's gonna take it home. And now. Now what am I gonna do? Look at that. It's like a really thin taco now. Um, I gotta say, I think this, if it, the weirdest one. Nice. Is the hot dog one. 'cause it says hot dog and milk. Well, there's more than just the two. I'm just saying this is the weirdest one so far. This one's just cool. A little taco candle. Oh, crock candle. Oh, don't give it away. I was about to do an awesome reveal. Okay. Forget I said it. See what you spoiled. Crock candle. Crock candle. Walked in here. Now that thing, um, is full of wax. No way a toddler could get his foot in there. Um, that's a shame 'cause I love watching toddlers bobble around in wax. Look at that. I wonder if Crocs. Oh, it says crocodile. Croc. Actually, it says Croc Crocs. What? What is it? It's a croc. It's a croc. But then what? What is it really? Candle. A croc. Get it? Yeah. No, I believe that. It says Croc handle. Oh, croc handle. That's what I read when I was looking at it, but we read it fast. No, there's no N Crock. Oh no, you're right. It's called Crole. I read it too fast, Crole think. But is that a D or an It's D Les. It's, no, it's a D. I think it's DLES. Just like the end of candles. Oh yeah. Crocs. Crock Doles. And I don't believe it's commissioned by Crocks. You're right. Chase. Can I smell it again? Does it smell like a crock? No. It is just for looks. None of these are having a smell that is commensurate to our expectations. It's pretty weird to have a crock as a candle. It's not as weird as a hot dog. And milk. The seller page for this one um, specifically says it's for like women birthday, gifts for women. Cool candles. Gift for teenage girls Easter gift for her. Whoa. I like it. Yeah, men. Men can candle too. Mendel. Yeah. That's my favorite company. Men. Men can candle and can crock. Oh, look at this one. Mendel should be a company if it's not Mandels. Not Mendels. Mandels. Mandels. Yeah. Mandels is candles for mans. Yeah. Like this one. Like, oh, this is, this is for men with a special interest. It's for men who got that. Men who got that dog in them. Mandels. Now that right there is a, this is a, this is a S sculpturist foot. I pictured that being the size of a human's foot, according to the website that we looked at. That's the first time I'm seeing it's, oh, really? You're disappointed. You can pick a scent option and a size option for this one. That's a nice foot. I didn't realize the small would be that small. I didn't think I was a foot guy. You wanna suck the toes? No. I won't smell it though. Oh, oh. I mean, that's a, that's a pretty foot. Put it in your, put it in your jacket. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take it. No, it, it matches the color of your jacket. I thought maybe it's a pendant or something like a candle pen. Like, like I wear it on my lapel and people don't really notice it at first. Yeah. Until I turn and light it. Until you light it and they're like, oh, why is your lapel on fire? It looks like a pig's foot up that way. Okay. I like that little candle. Put that, put that by your, uh, bathtub. See how your foot stacks up? That's got a high, that's a high arch right there. And then there's a wick coming out of a toe. It's not, it's come, it's not. I think if you had, I think that this would actually be the weirdest candle to have out of these. The hot dog is silly. Yeah. This is just weird. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Just a foot candle. Just weird. What about this dude? Oh my gosh. Is that a, is that an ice cream cone? Skeleton Cole, is that an ice cream skull? This is a hat on a hat candle. We should should sell that at Mandels. Too many things at once. Mandels would be all over that. This is cool though. This, I mean, it does look, something about this color is really satisfying. I. Oh man, I, but where's the wick? I like this one. Well, there's a hole there. I think the wick has been pulled out. That one arrived with the cone and the skull part kind of separated. Mm-hmm. So we melted it to get it back together and yeah, the, the wick, it was hard to get the wick all the way back in, so. Okay. Fair enough. Got it. And, and then you've still just got that, huh? This is cool. I like that. Oh, yep. It's hard to get that back in. Can't really do it. Got that wick in you. You know, you gotta get that wick back in. You. Let me shove that wick up in you. Is he going in? Yeah. I'm shoving that wick up in your cone. It's not going all the way. What? You gotta, this is my favorite, but it's the least. It's not. It least not. Weird. Weird. Uh. It is a little bit weirder than just straight tacos. Really? Okay. Definitely getting a headache. Okay, here we go. Isn't this fun? Um, now it looks like that was dropped. This is a Stanley. It says Cher. It even has like a label that looks like it. See, they went the extra mile. Unlike somebody now go the extra mile with your label. What did we drop it? No, that it arrived that way. Uh, so someone dropped it. We did not bite it and it, we did not drop it. It arrived this way. And I bet you a lot of them, it's a Lady Gaga song. A lot of them arrived that way. Scandal, be careful when ordering a, um, a candle online 'cause it's gonna come busted. Can I hold it now? We sell a candle or we did. There's one up there on the set. You there? The Mythical, the GMM Set Candle. Oh, Set Candle. If you want to, if you want know what we smell like, buy our candle if we still sell it. Mythical.com. Did you read Scandal? Mm-hmm. Did you read it? I did. R So everyone's been thinking about taking a word and making it into candle. So Mandels is probably a. Yeah, Mandels is a thing. Yeah, it's not like a, a company, but there's multiple different companies that have like mandle categories where they make man scented candles or like four men candles. You can't have an original idea when it comes to candles. Think, think of something original right now, a product that doesn't exist, and then we'll go find it on the internet. Can't be done. Think of it right now. Three. Two, one, um, bedsheets that zap you when you dream something inappropriate. Okay. I think there's technological difficulties to that. Well, I mean, I mean, that's your problem buddy, buddy. Something that's possible. You know, bedsheets that zap you when you pee on 'em already exist. I got 'em something that, something that grabs your eyeball and um, just squeezes it until you say the right word and then it lets go. And the word always changes. It's a, it's a party game, and you do lose your eyesight in that eye. Okay, well, you got me there. Look at this. Right? You in the market for a little new spine. For the bright, I'd like my lower, I'd like my lumbar spine replaced with candle doctor. Yeah. I, I brought it, I got a, I got that L seven in me. I don't know if L seven is one of 'em. Is it? I don't know how, how, how far do the Ls go? I think L seven is like when you call someone a loser. It's a band. Uh, it's a girl band. Can I, uh, how about, uh, with your mandle you can have a vertebra. Whoa. But we have to only sell these. I didn't have anything past Verta, bro. Ver this is bro, could be our little, you know, you've been having back problems. I got back problems. It is a little clinic. I no longer have back problems. They'll come back. My posture is immaculate now. They'll come back. Um, what about pervert a Bray? We could do that. The LS go up to five, sorry to say. Yeah. Okay. So pervert vertebrae is vertebrae shaped sex toys. Hey, look. Can, can you imagine? Good Lord got that per vertebrae in you. Can you take it? Can you take it in the wherever you want us? Stick it. Okay. All right. Fine, fine. Kudos. Get that vertebrae in you. Oh, look at this. This is, that's beautiful. That's just people making kisses or kissel. I, I think it might be some sort of CPR situation. Mm. Either way. This one looks in duress. Something about this one is just greasy as like, like, get out. Yeah. Oh, this is homemade. It, it really is. Some sort of. That's got human. It's like that's got human fat in it. Oh, we're talking Fight Club. Yeah, we got, this is a human fat candle. Am I ready to watch Fight Club again? It that, that's, this color reminds me of it. Are you ready? I don't know. Hey, you know, it's so intense. Am I ready to watch that again? I don't know. You got that dog in You we're going only one way to find out. You got that meatloaf in you. He's He's in it. He is in it. May he rest in peace. Ed Norton. We were at a party with Ed Norton. We weren't, didn't talk to him. Weren afraid. Afraid of him. Afraid of him. Yep, yep, yep. But it was more of the like glass onion Ed Norton and not like the American History X Ed Norton. You know, he's changed. Well, he's just gotten older. Yeah. Yeah. Haven't we all Our favorite, if I had to choose, is. This and mine is the foot Make. Guess it doubles as app pendant unlocked. Enter the spaghetti head and chicken fingers. Barnes and Noble sweepstakes for your chance to win a prize package. Learn more at MythicalBooks.com.