Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: 8s3Drz6rVY4
Episode Post Date: May 6, 2026
Episode Number: 3038
Transcript
What's the average lifespan of an armadillo? Welcome to Good Mythical More. You know what you wanna know the average lifespan of animals. We've got a bunch of different animals starting with this armadillo. We're gonna match 'em all up. So we have, um, four weeks all the way to 200 years. I have a guess what 200 years is, I'm not gonna say, don't say it. Uh, 50 years. That's still pretty good for, uh, for some animals. We've got a a well, come on now. What's wrong with you, man? We got a, a bit of a, a bunch here between 30 46 and 50. This could get a game to play today, an armadillo. Is either one to two or 15, right? Wouldn't you say? But look at this thing. Just look at how the armor, and it looks like it's just made to last, built to last. They ball up into a completely armored vehicle and you would threaten, and why would they need to be that robust to just live one to two years, right? Right. So yeah, we're saying that it is over 15 years. Right. Oh, and look, but it fits perfectly with 15 years. Well, there you go. I think it fits perfectly with all of them. I think that's pro. Oh yeah. That's the case. That's perfectly so That's not a hint. That's a cool little feature. We're not doing. We're not trying to do puzzle. That would've made it too easy. This, it could be 30 years. It could be, this is like something, you go to a, like a natural history museum and you're a kid. They wanna make it interactive, interact the museum, and there's little, these are made outta wood and you do the little. And you, but then the parents realize they have to pay extra for this part of it. Oh, and then the, a kid gets really upset when dad's like, listen, I'm already paying like $70 for you to be here. And then can't you just appreciate this? Why do you have to do the little puzzle? The puzzle's not even fun. I bet you that the, the, all the pieces aren't even up there. And also it's dirty. 'cause all the little grubby hands had been touching 'em. And after seeing all of that. You still buy it for the kid and then they do one of them just so they'll shut up and then they are like, this sucks. They, they're all the same. And then they move on. Can I get a, and you can. I get a, and I scold you. Can I get a bar? I'm taking that little, I'm taking that $5 out of your college fund. Can I go check a dinners now? Yeah. I want pick a It is a bird. This is a bird from, I want from brick tenderer. That's a bitch of a game. I think thirty's too many, but we can leave it there for now. Let's see, what else we got? Thirty's. Too many. Well then we can put it at 15 because it's still a rodent. A rodent, which makes me think it could be one to two years. It's just boy by rodent to survive. By rodent do you mean often road kill? Uh, I just mean that I believe it is probably in the rodent family or is it our marsupial? They got a pocket. I don't, there are non pocket having marsupials in in North America. I don't think that, uh, I don't really know a marsupial with armor though. I don't know. We can't look it up 'cause that would be cheating. But we do fully expect someone to look it up and tell us, help us out, chase. No, don't help us. We are fully looking things up. No, I just mean, is it er, rodent? Uh, I was looking at marsupials and pouches. Um, but don't tell us. Okay. I know. Until later. It looks like a rat with arms. Next we have a chimpanzee. Oh, our little cousin. The chimpanzee. Well, I, I mean, I feel like it might be 50, could be 46, but out in the wild what kills a chimpanzee? Another chimpanzee. Um, so I feel like, yeah. What, seriously, what else would kill a chimpanzee? A snake bite. Same thing as that. Kill us is basically what you're saying. Wars that, uh, Chimp, Chimp Wars, that movie, that documentary about the chimp lady that was Chimp crazy. Chimp crazy. So they specifically talked about that in this movie. And I, and I think it was in captivity. This guy could live to be 50 years old. Mm-hmm. But in the wild, the average would be lower. Just 'cause it's a hard, it's a hard life out there in the wild. But of course she was feeding him like McDonald's. Right. I enjoyed that, but um, I guess I would recommend it. 46. I, if I was a chimpanzee, I'd be dead already. On average. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. That's a sad thought. Honeybee. Honeybee. We're definitely over, yeah. 200 years. Uh, if HoneyBee's lived 200 years, that'd be wild, dude. So I, I know that a carpenter bee, it'd be so smart, has like, I, I think a carpenter bee has like a year long cycle. Um. Because honeybee, because they less than a year, they go into, you know, like we've got that, the, the log cabin in North Carolina and there's, and the, and the, and the carpenter bees go into the logs, uhhuh, and then we have to pay people. It's, this is sad, sad for the carpenter bees, what I'm about to tell you. Uh, they go in there and they lay their little babies and they drill the tunnel and then. Lay their little babies and then we pay somebody to go in there and just fill it full of caulk. So when those babies wake up, they're like, oh, no, what do we do? Oh, where's mommy? And then they die. I'll just eat this caulk. And uh, and then sometimes you can put like, uh. Steel wool at the end of it, and then caulk that. So when they get up and they try to find their way out, they get to steel wool and they can, they never get out, and they die inside the lock. That makes me so happy. And then for you, and then when their mom comes back, she's like, I where, how are the kids doing? She's like, I don't even remember where my front door is because we've cocked it. Wow. What a sad anecdote. Well you, because you don't want them to eat your house. You want them to eat all the dead logs out in the woods. Be like, Hey, not these ones. We're making homes with this one. Do the other ones. But anyway, I think it's like a year long cycle and because they will come out and then they do all the same stuff the next year. Honeybees less than that though, so maybe four months. Yeah, I think it's, it's on the lower end. That's a sad life. I think it's one to two years. We can move these around. There's also queens and workers and, mm-hmm. Well. But in general, I think is what, what's happening? Dragonfly. Dragonfly's got a short life, guaranteed four week, uh, just the insect of it all. I mean, we might have something that's a little bit shorter than that once it comes out. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Interesting. Red Sea urchin. So, uh, chase, didn't you, didn't you go, uh, red Sea Urchin. Hunting gathering, I attempted. But, um, when you go hunting on like a boat. You're at the whim of whatever the, uh, best sites are that day. And every place we went to was a, um, marine protected area. Uh, uh, I think we went to one spot where they did lobster, but only lobster. Can you clarify why you're going to a protected area to get something that you can't have? Well, I went just on like the dive boat in general. So other people are going for other things. Yeah, other people were going to scuba dive. Um, I went and I did free diving and scuba. Um, and it was at the very start of the season for, for like lobster. Um, and so there were people who were excited to hunt lobster. One of my buddies was, um, and I was the only person who wanted urchin. And because there weren't too many hunters on the boat, they focused on the best sites for diving. Not the best sites for hunting. Yeah. You were outnumbered. Which, why on earth would anybody want to get an ocean? Because then you have, you tasted an urchin. Yeah, I um, I tasted urchin for the first time at a like processing facility with Josh for an episode of Fancy Fast Food Uhhuh. And we like cracked 'em, open ourselves uni and ate them real fresh. Had uni it was really, really good. And so then when I found out that like the purple ones are invasive, I decided it'd be. Uh, something I was interested in hunting. So is this different? The Red Sea one is different than the purple ones. The Red Sea ones are different. Yeah. And apparently is it in the Red Sea? The purple ones that are invasive also don't taste that good. So people don't tend to, to hunt them for food. Oh. It's more just for protecting the, um, the ecosystem. Got it. Okay. Because they eat all the kelp. You're such a do-gooder. Thanks. When they let you do it. Yeah, when I can take time off. But something that, which is often you guys are very generous. Yeah, thanks. Something that is that, again, I don't know why. It seems to me that there's a lot of work that goes into that spiky body and it just seems like they stay in basically one place, one right place. And they're just filtering, like if you told me you can watch em move like during the course of a dive for sure. Like they move like trans trans. Yeah. Pork themselves, they go somewhat fast. Locomote, they have foot all the bottom creature. Yeah, they totally move. It's not like a barnacle or something. No, no, no. Well, that that means that their lifespan is shorter, I think. Or maybe they're moving to live longer. One to two years. No. Yeah, that feels right. I mean, 15 years could be right. We gotta be right about this. Or they're gonna call car hole. Call our hall. Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna wake up in the morning and try to get out of our room. There's just gonna be caulk on the door. Could you imagine how that would feel? Nope. Try to, you're the only closing their eyes back, either. Everyone's trying to imagine it. Why are you trying to guilt trip us with something you've known, known? You try to call your mom and she just threw on the other side of the caulk. What'd you say, chase? Wait, what? What'd you say? Female. I said, everyone back here is closing their eyes. Trying to imagine what it's like. When you're trapped by a car, listen, this is, this is a, uh, rhetorical exercise to get you to feel sorry for the carpenter bees that are eating my home. Just so you, so I, we can explore all the limits of human emotion. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's all we're doing here. All right, fine. You ever seen B movie A, a female oracle whale? Do you think they live longer than a chimpanzee? Ooh. I just, I'm Googling it, but I think the female orca whale is a rodent. They can go. Yeah, they can, they can go so far. They're definitely on your side of the board. They're not 200 years. I know that. They're, they're, they're 46 or 50. Yeah. I just don't know if, which again, is, is another, we're trying to, we might have to, we're gonna do a switch a rooney based on what he tells us. In a female orco? Well versus a male, I would think maybe the female lives longer. I don't know. Is it like humans? Ladies live longer. Why do they live longer? I wonder? Uh, less accidents. Smarter, smarter. Octopus Aus, good old octopus boy. They're so, they're so soft and mushy and smart. Okay. I think I remember you. Okay. Again, octopus daughter, octopus teacher, octopus teacher. All of my seen, both of 'em, all of my facts come from documentaries. So I think, I remember think that it was one to two years because it was just like he was, he did die. Yeah. He got older. It was like he, he fell in love with this octopus, but he was also like, this thing's gonna be dead next year. One to two years for an octopus. I, I almost guess 30, but. What, so then we have to move the urchin to live 30 years or 15. We wanna move the armadillo to 30 years. The sea urchin I think can go 30. Wow. And I think that the armadillo is 15. I think the octopus is one to two years 'cause they're so soft. But uh, don't you have to live longer to get, as evolutionarily speaking, to get as smart as an octopus? Well, that's a good point. I. Does that actually make sense? When something has a longer lifespan, the longer you can live, the smarter you need to be in order to achieve that lifespan. If you live for four weeks, you don't have to be that smart, right? Because you're gonna die anyway. But in order to achieve your limit, you gotta have smarts. That's why I think the octopus might be 15 years. But they're soft. I feel like I remember specifically learning a fact and I could be very well wrong that they lived a lot less long than I thought they did. Mm-hmm. Now maybe that was a d maybe that was a different documentary. I'm, I was alright. What were we waiting for? For 200? Well, I mean, if it's tortoise, that's too easy. Tortoise is what I was thinking. If it's, if it's a type of shark, like the Greenland shark or something like that. Uhuh. Uhuh. No, they live even longer than that. Walrus. It ain't a walrus. Don't live 200 years. Oh my God. There's no way you're telling me that's why they're so wrinkly. Maybe What lives 200 years on an average? Usually sea Urch a lot tighter. I bet it's gotta be a sea. It's a sea urchin. They live forever. I ever. Except Chase is like just plucking 'em outta the ocean. Yeah, now it's, now it's sad. Chase. What? Even the ones that are, are killing the kelp forests, that urchin just wakes up in the morning and is like another day in the ocean, watching the ocean be completely ruined by whatever this new species is that's creating all this havoc. Oh, there he is. Oh, York. It has to be in his mouth. I mean, what it, there's nothing else it could be, and it's so tasty. Okay. It's gotta be right. And it's the Red Sea Urchins specifically 200 years. The walrus, the 30 46, 50 is tough, man. Walrus wars. I think a walrus has probably heart issues. You know what I'm saying? It just feels like. They're kind of fat, is that what you're saying? He's about, he looks like he's maybe about to have a heart attack at all times. I know he is in the cold climate up there, but I just don't think he makes it past 30. Hold on. Are we locked in? I don't know. I, I'm not confident about the octopus anymore, but because of your points of about smarts, we might need to switch those, but how many, all right. We are locked in. If you can tell us how many we have, correct. You have four, correct? Yikes. That's not impressive at all. Yikes. It the re back here at all. Let's switch these two. Yeah, let's switch the chimpanzee and the orca and then it's either switching the walrus and the armadillo. I think we switched armadillo and the octopus. I think we switched these two. And so now 1, 2, 3, 4. So now, yeah. 'cause the walrus is like a big dog. 15 years. How many we got right now we are a little more impressed. You have four, correct? Oh my God. So what just happened? I don't even know, we didn't hold on. How? How do we not improve? We don't know what we've done according to your theory link, you'll be dead any day now. Um, what have we done? How did you switch to chimpanzee and the orca? Yes. Yes. Well, then what did we have? Right? So we had, we, we, we switched too much. So let's switch half of these back and then see how many we have. Well, that doesn't make any sense to you. Yeah, it, it gives us information. How many do we have right now? You have six. Correct. Okay, so those, the switch, so that was an I improve, push those forward. Those are correct. Those are locked in. All right. So are, are we right? And the ends are right. Walrus and 30, the ends are right. Armadillo and 15 Dragonfly has got to be right. I mean, hunt, hunt dragonflies could live longer than honeybee. Because, because the communal nature of a honeybee, does that mean it lives a long, I think they're more expendable. That's, yeah. We were wrong about that. We were wrong about those. And, but we need to, you didn't change anything. You just like, you've kept those things with their You Come on, dude. In my mind it changed. Yeah. So let me help you out here. Yeah. The puzzle pieces. Um, did that give us enough? 6, 7, 8? That, that would do it. All right. We are locked in. You have eight, correct? Woo. Yes. And that's all of them. Okay. Let's get some information to go back through Armadillo armadillo. Armadillo, not rodents. Uh, they're placental mammals, uh, most closely related to like sloths and anti eaters. Uh, and side note, there are some marsupials without pouches. Mm-hmm. Uh, o possums are one of them. Okay. Yeah. So, but it's not a marsupial. Not a marsupial. Not a marsupial. Right. Okay. Not a rodent. And there is a pouch possum on, there are pouch possums in Australia. Yeah. Okay, so, okay, so again, this thing to remember, so you don't have to watch documentaries to learn. You watch this show. Yep. Octopus lives one to two years and so mm-hmm. I mean, legitimate question here, you know, I've been known, and Jesse always feels bad about it. I've been known to order octopus at a restaurant, and she's like, bye. You order in the octopus and it's like, we watched the octopus teacher and they're so smart. And then I'm like, yeah, but they only live one to two years. So I mean, like what has been your argument? He was, because you didn't know that he was gonna No, no, I, no, I, I made that argument after we watched that documentary. Okay. 'cause I was like, is this documentary gonna stop me eating octopus? 'cause it did for like a month. Okay. And then I was just like, oh, but it's so good. And I was like, yeah, but, and, and I do think if they live 15 years, that does help. It does help. I would be, I would be like all the experiences that I took from that thing, but like, I'm like, Hey, this is a, I mean, yeah, you're eating a toddler. You're not eating a No, I'm not eating a toddler. I'm eating an adult who's lived this full life. Oh, okay. Yeah. That is a better way to think about it. Eating an adult that doesn't live long. And now let's talk about the sea urchin. Alright? How in the world does that happen? They're spiking. Nobody wants to have any, and they, they taste horrible. Nobody wants to have anything to do with 'em. 200 years. Wow. Yeah. Sorry. I was looking up walruses and uh, also like, I dunno if you saw this, but a couple weeks ago, a few weeks ago, there was this stellar sea lion, which is like a really, really big sea lion up in the. That's made its way down here to SoCal and there's all these videos of it trying to like, get up and hang out with the regular sized sea lions. They're like, and like keep getting scared and running away really. But you can kind of tell he just kind of wants to hang out and like, they're very social. So I think he wants to just like sleep with his friends and none of them, like, he's way too big for them. Wow. Where, where is he? Can we go see him? Uh, I think he's down in like the La Jolla. Don't tell him, he'll eat him. The Golden Tee of Mythicality is back. We're giving away $50,000 in cash prizes this week only. Grab your tea for your chance to win at Mythical.com.