Good Mythical Weekend. Today, there will be no winners. Only embarrassed crew members who are going to think twice about owning a cell phone. This is Text or Dare. Hello, everyone! Hi! Um, I hope you’re doing well now. Because you might not be doing well in a second. Because this is how this is gonna go. Each round. I’m going to give you a, a, a text message that you must send to someone in your contacts. But, there’s also going to be a dare that I offer up. That dare is going to be complementary to the text that I tell you about, but it’s going to escalate that text a little bit. And if you think that you want to possibly do that dare, you’re going to come sit in the chair that I’m in. And you’re going to be called. The dare chair. You’re going to execute that dare. You gotta do a dare at least once. So it’s not like an optional dare situation. You know what I mean? You’ll be in this chair at one point. You just, you get to choose when you’re in it. Does that make sense? It makes sense. Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry. I kind of, yeah, I see what I did. I was like, this is gonna be bad. But it’s actually gonna be fun. It’s actually gonna be really fun. For me. And for you. Okay, are you ready to play? Yeah! Yeah! Okay, I’m gonna come over here so that the chair is, uh, available. And the first category is food. Food. So does anyone want to take the dare this round for the category of food? Christine! So brave. So cute and so casual. Okay, everyone has their phones? Yeah. The text that I need you to send to someone is, Please don’t judge, but if a carrot breaks off in your ass, could it get infected? I’ll say it again. I’ll say it again. Please don’t judge. But if a carrot breaks off in your ass, could it get infected? And Christine, I would like you to actually include a photo of this carrot. Wow. That is your dare. Do you see what I mean about thematically? – It’s an escalation. – Sure Yeah. Yeah. Brakes off in your ass. Could it get infected? Is the last part. Could it get infected? And then, snap that pic. And then the rest of you can go ahead and send your text. I already did. Okay. Well, yeah, who did you send it to? I sent it to my best friend Colin and he’s been typing for so long. He’s been typing for an unbelievable time. And some answers are starting to roll in. Um, he said, What a beautiful question. I would say the carrot can’t, your ass can. Just try and make sure it has a flared base. This is why he’s a gay man. I said I’ll text it to him. He’ll be like, no problem. I’ve got real factual answers. And he’s still typing. He’s got a lot to say about this. Bless his heart. Oh, I really like the twist that he threw in there. Yeah. Just use a flare. Get a flare. Well, no, that wasn’t the twist he said. That the carrot can’t get infected. The carrot cannot get infected, my ass can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Gwynedd, who did you text? I picked my best friend, Mady, and she hasn’t responded yet. Okay. Does it say, like, read or something? It says delivered. Okay, alright, well, we’ll check back in. Did you send your, I’m gonna give you a minute, cause you have, right, cause you just sent the photo part, or did you get a response? I, I got a ha ha reaction. Oh, no! Who did you send it to? I sent it to my friend Anthony, we’ve known each other for like 10 years. I was like, he’ll, he’ll know what to do with this. But he’s not responding, just a ha ha. Should it be like an LMK? To the text or to the photo? To the text. – Oh. – Actually, and to the photo. A double ha ha. A double ha ha and nothing else. Nothing. Should it be like an LMK? Like, let me know? I feel like you should respond with two question marks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Two question marks. Oh. Maybe, like, an LMK, like, let me know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, there we go. Okay. Leonard. Okay, I’m going in with two question marks, too. Okay. Something’s gotta give here. That’s a good follow up. I texted my roommate, Brooks, and, um, I might not have a roommate after this. So, he has not responded. Okay. Uh, Trevor. Uh, I texted Lucas. Trevor! He said, I googled it and no, you’re all good. Okay. What about the carrot? Okay, alright. Okay, okay, if that doesn’t count, I also texted my friend Bobbin and he said, Your ass or the carrot? Wow! A lot of people want to know! – A lot of empathy. – And did he answer? Oh my gosh. No. Your ass or the carrot, both question mark? Okay, good, good. And any responses from the double? Okay. I got some responses. Um, Anthony says, My guess is no. Raw carrot? Question mark. You good. Ha ha ha ha! And then, And then he says, Sauteed? Question mark. Different story. – Thinking man. – I didn’t even think about that. A roasted, seasoned carrot in your ass? No way, you’re sick. – Queer lifestyle baby. – Absolutely. Okay, I think, I think we all get the hang of it now. Oh, you want, you want me to have this? I don’t know what to do with this carrot. What is, do you have a lot of carrot on your hand now? Why? I was nervous, um, you know, just ripping it, really ripping it real hard. Okay, I’ll put that back. The next category is College. College. Anybody wanna sit? I’ll do it. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Your text is, you look like someone who had a 2.2 GPA in college. Okay. You look like someone who had a 2.2 GPA in college. And the escalation involves Singing. Oh, no. Send a voice memo singing to the tune of 22 by Taylor Swift. Someone’s gonna have to sing that for me. I don’t know about you, but you look like a 2.2 Okay. And, you know what? – I like your interpretation… – Okay, let me think about it, let me think about it. I’ll remember the song. So everyone can go ahead and send and just hold for a beat cause, uh, we do need absolute silence in the room. So the problem I’m having is that the person that I texted does not have an iPhone. So I can’t send a voice memo. I have to send a, I would have to send a video of me singing. Okay. I don’t know about you. You look like 2.2 Is that right? Yes! Oh, is that a rehearsal? No, what? Well, why were you looking at me? Cause it’s for the audio, not for the… Oh, oh, you… I don’t have to look good for him! You know what? Yeah. Was that the right singing? That was the perfect singing. I realized I did know that song. Who’s ready to share? Did anyone, um I sent it to my mom. But she hasn’t responded yet. She’s over there stewing about it. Maybe wait a couple beats and then double question mark, you know? Uh, Christine? I got a lol what? Who’d you send it to? To my buddy Jason, but it’s a W U T, so proving again that he probably had a 2.2 in college. True. Anybody else? I sent it to my buddy Alex Tran over at Smosh, producer and director on the Games Channel, and he said, You look like someone who doesn’t even know what a GPA is. And then he sent me this picture of a Snoopy Halloween, uh, nightlight, arriving today by 9pm and said, I’m blessed, bro. Um, so I sent it to my roommate, and I said, you look like someone who got a 2.2 GPA in college, and he said, someone looks like they don’t want to be picked up from work today. Cause I forgot he was picking me up. Um, and then I sent the video and said, did you get the video? And he said, are you okay? All lowercase, no punctuation. So Stevie, that means you have to drive me home. I’ll take it. Okay, great. We’re moving on to the next round. If anyone texts back, like, you know, feel free to chime in at any point. This is how you guys find out I have no friends. Because no one’s responding to me. You just texted your mom. So, uh, hygiene is the next category. Hygiene. Alright. Leonard! That seems risky. Take a little seat. The text is, I think I just hit my dentist with my car. Should I help him? Or her? Thank you, Jordan. The escalation is send a photo of a bloody lab coat with tire marks on it and text, do you know where I can hide this? Okay. Okay. This is gonna be crazy. Cause I have hit someone with my car before, so. Oh my god. He’s got experience. Okay. Jesus. That’s like a very tasteful blood situation. Okay. Yeah, that dent is just fine. Yeah, he got hit in the face. Okay, um. Alright, where should I place this? Yeah, maybe against. Cause I’m driving on a checkerboard road, um. Yeah. You can tell them that you drove into the office after you hit your dentist. I’ll just like do a close up of the coat. Yes, yes, that’s great. Oh gosh. Do you know where I can hide this? My friend is writing. She said, are you okay? And then she’s typing. So, TBD. We got a live one. I feel bad. I sent it to my fiance’s mom. Oh my god! And she said, what? Yes. Were they in a car or were they walking? Are you okay? She read it immediately and it sent four separate text messages. Oh no. Oh no, you have to, what are you going to say now? What if she calls the police or something? I’m going to say everyone is fine. I finally got responses. Okay, okay, what do we got? You wanna go back to one? Or did you get one for this? For this one, yeah, I did two friends at once, because I thought that my odds would be better. Nice. Nice. Okay. What is happening? Wait, what? Hit his car or his body? Nice. Nice. Body. Body? Okay, nice choice. My friend is like, Yes, you should, what are you talking about? Are they okay? So, not even worried about me, honestly. She’s continuing to type. Uh, I sent this to my uncle and he literally, just one word, yes. That’s it, just yes. He’s like, I’m glad I helped someone today. Thanks, Uncle Jeremy. I appreciate it. I had to tell Darla that it was a prank, because she said, I’m uncertain what’s going on, should I call 911? But didn’t you say that everyone was okay? Um, and I said, Darla, I’m so sorry, this was part of a work prank. She sent four crying laughing emojis, and said, I’m just glad you didn’t hit your dentist. Wow! What a great future mother in law you have. Yeah. I texted a group chat because I haven’t got any responses yet and I needed a response. And, uh, this is my, um, group chat with six other black men. Um, we’re all in an improv group together. And I, the first response I got was, I ain’t see this message for plausible deniability. And then the second message just said deleted. And then a third response said, can’t be real. Can’t be real. So, we’ll see. Shout out to my homies. Y’all real ones. Thank you. Okay, the next category is f. mily. Family. There are a couple of you. Yep. I’ll do it. Trevor. The text must be to a family member. And it says… I’ve been a very bad girl, daddy. I’ve been a very bad girl. – Daddy. – My friend is calling me. Sorry. Yo, what’s up, man? Yo, I think I hit this dentist, bro. You know, I don’t know what’s going on. Okay. All right. Okay. It’s a prank, man. It’s a prank. Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you for calling. Goodbye. That’s a good friend. That’s a good friend. But reminder, the text is, I’ve been a very bad girl, daddy. To a family member. And Trevor. This is gonna be good. The follow up text I need you to send says, OMG, sorry, meant to send that to my dad. Oh, jeez. Oh, God. So I shouldn’t text my dad the first one. Oh, did you? No. No, just asking, you know, for the rules. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay. Um. Do I send this to my mom? Okay. I don’t have any siblings, so I think I have to text my husband’s siblings, sadly. It almost feels like Trevor’s is less embarrassing because there’s some context. Yeah. Wait, what is the texting at? Oh. To confirm that he is a bad girl, and he meant to tell his daddy he was, is less embarrassing? I, I don’t know. It feels more complete, maybe? I mean, anyone can also send that follow up text if you want. I’m gonna hit it with an emoji here, the first one. I’m gonna hit it with a little tongue. Who do I send this to? I’m sending it to my brother. – Oh, he’s… – Okay. Oh boy. Alright, I’m gonna send it to my sister. And she’s gonna read it and respond instantly. Good lord. Okay, here we go. Um, my friend’s reaction to the dentist text was, for the record, I would help you if you had murdered your dentist with your car. If it was for a good reason. Oh! That’s friendship. God! Damn it, I don’t want to send this text. Okay. Okay. Okay, you texted your brother? My brother, and he was like, was this for me? I gotta, I gotta tell my husband. Oh God. My sister’s a wimp. Huh? God. Oh god. We were doing so well. We were doing so well. Then she just did the eye emoji. Oh my god. My brother also did follow up by saying, You ate Taco Bell? What? I don’t know, maybe being bad, is that’s me being bad, I don’t know. Oh! I like, had to re read the text. Trevor? Uh, well I sent this in a group chat with my sister and her husband. And I have not gotten a response. Okay, okay. Unfortunately, uh, but I can’t stop staring at it. I just can’t stop. You were looking at it as if there was something, but no. I’m just like trying to will it away with my mind. You know. Anyone else? I got a response from Mady about the carrot, finally. And it was a really just simple, I think so. But then followed up with, your ass skin, not the carrot. I don’t really talk to any of my family, so I had to text my mom. Um, I have no siblings and I don’t talk to the rest of my family. And what is making me really sad is my mom’s an ICU nurse. She works like 12 hour shifts. And my mom just got this text like on shift at work for sure. Like she hasn’t responded yet, but my mom probably is like intubating a man to save his life, and then I texted her this. Okay, before we get to the last category. I wanted to remind all of you out there that if you enjoy spending time with a large group of funny mythical crew members, then you should check out our new series over on the Mythical Society, Roll for Mythicality. It’s all about D& D playin I don’t know a lot about D& D, but you don’t have to know a lot. in order to enjoy the show. So go over to mythicalsociety.com and check it out. And we have some special guest players every episode too. So, um, highly encourage you to go watch. Mythicalsociety.com Gets pretty sexy, if I do say so myself. Okay. And that leads right into our final category. Which is Pregnancy. And Gwynedd. Not me. Not me. It’s your turn in the chair. No. Geriatric pregnancy. Okay. Text is, if the dick is small, you can’t get pregnant, right? Okay. Ah. Okay. If the dick is small, you can’t get pregnant. Right? Okay. I’m about to freak out some people. And Gwynedd, I’d also like you to, uh, send a link to the WebMD page for Micropenis and say no answers here. Okay. Say that again, the WebMD page for Micropenis? Yes. I can send it to you, I’ve got it bookmarked. It was community submitted by you. So my friend’s response was just, a. solutely. So I’m following up with absolutely yes or no. This doesn’t say. Leonard, I would love to know who you’re sending the text to. Okay, I sent one to my ex. How recent? How recent of an ex? Like, uh, February. Yeah, we’re still friends. And then the producer of my special literally is texting me for a response for something. So I know he’s going to text me right back because he’s waiting for me to respond to him. So I just went, Hey, quick question. Oh God. Christine, who are you waitin who you waitin for? I hit up my girlfriend, no response. And then I did another friend, Amy, um, because I was like, you know what, Sherilyn’s gonna see this and she’s gonna be like, no. I’m not responding, I’m not engaging. But we’ll see. Trevor? I’ll be honest, I’ve sent this to like four people. No responses yet. I’ll let you know, keep you posted. I feel like my biggest takeaway is that I have an incredible network. Everyone has responded immediately. That’s so nice. And Trevor texts things like this all the time to multiple people. My producer Sam said, scientifically accurate for sure. Okay. Mike stopped responding to me, sadly. And Trevor, you still are, have no response from, how many people have you texted now? This is gonna be six. One of them was a group chat, though. Hold on, give me, give me, this is, hold on, hold on, hold on, this is a good one, this is a good one. My friends who I told that I, that I, hit my dentist with my car. Um, one of them said, I will never trust you again! So this has destroyed friendships already. I know. Damn you, Dare Chair. I’ll never trust you again. Yeah, I trusted you before to not hit a dentist with your car! Yeah. Trevor, why were you saying, hold on, hold on, this is a good one. I just sent another text, um, to someone. If I get a response, it’s gonna be awesome. Um. Ha! Okay. Okay. Is this someone from Smosh as well? No, someone from here. Okay. So you’re texting Mythical Crew and Smosh. Well, I’m texting Link. I texted Link and I also texted Ian from Smosh. – So, hopefully one of them… – Link does not have his phone. He’s not going to answer. Let’s be honest. Oh man. I didn’t realize we all kind of just like had Link’s phone number. I didn’t know we were all just having that. Interesting. I don’t have it. That’s crazy because I, you know, I’m new here. I already got it. Okay, something to think about. Actually, he gave it to me. Oh, okay, good for you. Okay, I think, I think we’ve, we’ve um, disbanded friendships. here. We’ve proven other ones. We’ve proven some people’s friends don’t answer them. Some people’s moms have important jobs. I think we got a lot done. Uh, so I consider this a success. I don’t think my sister’s going to talk to me anymore. I’m pretty sad. Uh, if you want to live in the valley, holler at me. I need a roommate as well. Well, I’m sorry to say this is the last Good Mythical Weekend of the year. So if you want to see more Good Mythical Weekend, let us know in the comments. Please say yes! Type a comment about how much you love it. I know. I need this! Check out Roll for Mythicality, our original D&D series at mythicalsociety.com