I only have one rash and it just keeps getting bigger [Music] cartoons it’s fun it’s learning most of just shut up shut up wait where camera this one great hello uh and welcome to the show with me everyone’s favorite host um Andy uh all right I I can’t lie Andy’s he’s actually out sick today oh but we hope Andy’s all right right kids oh yeah he’s fine he’s just a big baby ate a salad from one street Fender uh Little Secret put some eye drops in a [Music] salad it’s funny but you know what that means uh Wendy and I are on our own today so uh why don’t you stand a little closer huh I’m the host today can you please just tell everyone today’s most important thing uh oh it’s health health great kiddos today Mr squirrel is going to teach us about health and hygiene okay can anyone tell me what bad hygiene is yes when you don’t take a shower okay well now technically that’s not bad hygiene that’s just you know procrastinating okay now look you don’t need to shower every day you don’t need to brush your teeth every day you a squirrel you’re not supposed to shower exactly that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you Dave some of our friends at home have sent questions in about proper hygiene let’s read some of them Jimmy from Tucson reads dear Andy do I really have to wash my face all the time oh I got this one okay no you don’t have to wash your face I mean back bacteria can actually be uh good for you there are a lot of body parts that you don’t have to wash that frequently uh in fact if you don’t wash them long enough it starts to produce pheromones like there’s one spot that’s halfway between the your front down here and your back down there and sometimes you just grab it and you wipe it on the back of your neck and go out to the clubs and the ladies come flocking well and that’s why Mr squirrel everybody thinks that you’re riddled with germs and rashes everybody’s wrong I only have one rash and it just keeps getting biger I know I’ve seen it yeah you have instead of talking about this let’s take a look at a fun cartoon y what’s wrong it’s my tooth holy crap what the hell is that it’s my tooth Bro Dog Jesus that definitely looks infected you should see the dentist right away oh no I’m not going to to any dentist I hate the dentist I haven’t been to the dentist in 15 years why the hell haven’t you gone to the dentist he’s just a jerk all of them are I went to the dentist all the time when I was a little kid he never gave me Jack squat then I saw on TV this girl went to the dentist and he gave her candy and balloons and a free toothbrush so I went back to the dentist and asked him what was up he gave me some baloney story about being too old for candy and balloons and toothbrushes ever since then I’ve never gone back tried to take a sick day today but I got a half dozen calls that this was going terribly so here I am it’s me Andy uh we got a guess but I didn’t have time to prep any questions hi how you feeling fabulous I’m feeling lousy do you think I have the flu I’m not qualified I’m not qualified to answer I don’t I don’t want to send you down a path of like knowing something’s wrong with you but it’s not really do you know where I can get some extra strength coding without a prescription I’m sorry what what’s in the box Donuts I’m not supposed to say this but no that is completely wrong that was a terrible guess cartoons go I haven’t puked this much since that last Taylor Swift concert Andre have infestation of the clitorus it’s C stomach flu you idiot gross it smells like a Taylor Swift concert in here I warned you sharing our used tankies was a bad idea but I used the money we saved to buy that awesome new motivational poster you know there are free programs that help the poor get medical attention yeah right and those penis in lodges actually work don’t believe me rogie fine let’s go ask a real doctor free programs for the poor you are a riot all right I’ll cover the bill anything to stop the hurling excellent swallow these don’t you want to examine them first a doctor of medicine be in the same room with a sick person why that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard have you ever noticed how weird they smell M these pills are delicious that’ll be $4 million4 million that’s insane we don’t have that kind of money relax you can work off your bill by helping patients who are receiving vitally important Medical Treatments what kind of treatments Welcome to our state-of-the-art anal bleaching Ward where we bring a little sunshine to where the sun don’t shine what kind of utter [ __ ] considers this a vitally important medical treatment quit your whining back there my starfish ain’t going to bleach itself holy it’s the real housewise of Orange County damn that is one ugly ass soda machine that’s no soda machine that’s Donald Trump he may be in an iron lck but he he’s still a ladies man please kill me well doc looks like you got everything covered guess you don’t need my help just one small task I need you to empty all those used bed pans and give them a good scrubbing don’t worry sweetie it’s not as bad as that giant pile of crap we call a TV show can’t argue that don’t get sick that is great advice for anyone stay in shape is also great advice that’s why I’m going to teach the kiddos a few ways to work out are you ready kiddos yeah yeah okay you always want to start off fast shock your body into shape um maybe Andy should be resting so that better you know the say star cold jump project cure everything I was hoping to die with perfect attendance but I guess that’s down the drain might as well die now right hey everyone um Mr squirrel is going to teach you some exercises all right um what do I like to do for exercise um I call this Mr squirrel’s lombata important parts about the lombata it’s why you got to be grinding your hips the whole time if you don’t have a girl with you this is how you get a girl to come with you she’s going to fill this slot get up got your hands on her hips right one hand that’s why you lick it reach around right like the thumb boom right there waack see it strengthens the core kids right ignites the passions of all the ladies in the room sooner or later a girl is going to come up and just slide right in there It Whack It Whack It Whack It Whack It Whack ah the gym Nature’s largest funhouse mirror choose your avatar initiating simulation what’s up bro nice choice Jimmy you picked the Bro aka the douche though a word literally referring to a postmenstrual vaginal cleansing device the similarities between the two are quite remarkable I just want to blast my peex bro need that crease and although you sit just above crazy-eyed sex offender on the likeability scale you’re an integral piece of the social puzzle I just need six pieces in this puzzle bro mirror break being a successful bro is about confidence and disregard style is key if you’d wear it to a club to fist bump by all means wear it to muscle Pump It Takes Me 3 hours to look this fresh coach broheim when greeting peers do greet with a fist bump girl sploosh don’t greet with eye contact I don’t need eyes when I can look at boobs bro beans do live every moment like you’re walking away from an epic explosion don’t do this to get away from a real explosion mirror break It’s always important to remember that beauty is pain my bikini waxer reminds me of that every month bro sarry OD Dawson but fortunately as a bro your workout won’t have much of that I could still make faces to look like it hurts though bro hammer science has no place in a Bros workout anything you see in a magazine is perfect magazine workouts for a magazine body bro rest periods are determined by how long you can stare at a mirror without blinking if I don’t keep checking on those abs they might go away bolo rest periods may also be used to shadow box as this carries a double bonus I can kick the mothering out of you I can defend the mother sh out of you come ask me about it yeah i’ like to get my knuckle sandwich on I watched enough UFC in vanam to pretty much be a pro fighter as if you couldn’t tell about my tap out shorts mirror break as a creature of aesthetic bonds with other Bros have elevated levels of intimacy effectively blurring the line between jiggalo and jiggle homosexual hey saunas are a great way to get that glossy look while you develop those bonds hey bro no homo but your drunk looks dope in those shorts all female patrons are fair game after all everybody wants a piece of you sup girl sup girl sup girl how about you get up on these genetics and burn some extra calories mirror break it’s been an extremely productive 4 hours where is the time gone bro but now it’s time to leave after all these clubs are going to promote themselves bottle service at NASDAQ guest list only no dudes well done bro everyone will like you forever guys shut up well today we learned that years of celibacy and healthy eating have left Andy with a weak immune system so don’t be like Andy kiddos okay okay good hey and everyone at home if you want to be a kiddo remember that your chances go way up if your mom is hot so send pictures of her in her pajamas see you next time oh bikini works just out of the shower with any [Music] pictures [Music] [Music] oh