what if we started a new thing I don’t think this has ever been done and a duo one of us is a puppet the other one is a ventriloquist well I’m not putting my hand down there but I’m also not being a puppet no I’ll be the puppet I’ll sit on you’re the one who looks more like Howdy Doody but I will sit on you deep in the heart of the brain of the lung of a Colossus a single tear from the eye of a champion kangaroo boxer fell into the heart poverty next germinating the young seed of fortitude and subsequently conceiving the mythical show with rhett and Link on this week’s show paddleboarded forest Patrol key and Peele vsauce a musical performance with Kassem G and Chester C and now here are rhett and Link welcome to the mythical show your half hour of not having to click around on the Internet thank you for joining us in this the season finality but season 12 of the whole thing that’s right mallet II I said that on purpose that’s what I call it the season finalities there’s a finality to this that then leads into subsequent seasons later on down the line don’t make empty promises or just well we just haven’t discussed what I will tell you I’m gonna miss you link I’m gonna miss you you’re parting ways this is his way of telling me that it’s over between me and Rhett that’s what’s really happening your way that I’m breaking it to you that I’m going on we’re going on vacations and we’re going on separate vacations I’m not going on your vacation with you well I know I planned a vacation I didn’t plan for you to be a part of but I just think it’s healthier that way so yeah I’m Way ahead of you here you’re are you gonna miss me I hate to break it to you that you’re not breaking anything to me is what I’m saying but we’re not gonna wait but we also can’t talk to each other because where are you going to the beach I’m going to the beach don’t say what Beach because we would have we end up at the same Beach well then we just won’t speak to each other like you’re saying we just want but I think we’re at different beaches but beaches connect and if we Beach comb far enough we could cross paths I’m gonna be riding a bike up and down the boardwalk of the beach that I’m going to and if I if I get mm me to just go a number of miles up you might see me and if you see me do not speak to me if you text me I will not respond to you I’m not I’m always a big like I don’t like you I’m going blank on the cellphone like not going blank I’m going totally cold what’s it called off the grid off the grid yeah partly in cold part of this is hold on it that we seriously have promised our wives this is the first time ever that we’ve gone off the grid I’m not talking about the time that we went and you know hung out with those extremists what if we need in West Virginia what I’m talking like a map like Google map or like I need to make a phone call is that I don’t even know what it means to go off the grid it means that you cannot you need to put your phone on airplane mode all the time and what about the internet you’re saying you’re not going to be on the internet no I’m not even going to experience any technology at all I’ve told my wife that we were gonna get the power shut off at the beach house are we going to no TV no power no running water oh well yeah I’m not going to eat my internet allow to eat and if I wasn’t already I’m definitely not vacation like going by now but it work on its Stone Age Stone Age week that’s what we’re gonna do we do we are going to kill some animals and eat them raw mmm I think that I expect a lot from this like hiatus from each other I mean it’s only a week but we we spend so much time together that I just think creatively we’re going to have all these things we’re going to be bringing back to the table I don’t want to get your hopes up that we’re gonna bring something amazing back to the table gonna be fun I don’t know I’m secretly hopeful I’m not gonna be thinking about work I’m gonna be spending time with my wife and children oh you’re gonna do that it may be an attentive throw me under the bus I’m gonna be thinking it’s not worth the whole time but I’m not gonna type anything don’t don’t throw me under the bus everything I’m done or – yeah yeah all right I mean if well whatever I mean it’s just part of it you know here’s the deal I’m gonna be thinking of ideas independently of you you’re gonna be thinking of idea independently of me and then on next week on Thursday around 5:00 p.m. I want you to think really hard about an idea and maybe we’ll do some sort of like telekinesis across the state and like move a state no just have a same thought and if I sense that you’re having the same thought as me we call each other immediately we break the rule and call each other and talk about him I don’t think that’s going to work okay I recently saw a study that said no no lie that men who have a guitar in their facebook profile pictures it is much more likely for a woman to accept their Facebook friend request did you burp in the middle of that because like hos royal like boy no I think this is common knowledge that girls like guys with with guitars um that’s why I I tell all my single guy friends to walk around with a guitar case he just keep their clothes in it yeah right now we have written a song called what women want that is going to be the key to all single guys knowing how to get a lady studies show that ladies like a man with a guitar but I don’t wanna learn get talk as I heard that it’s hard but I can learn how to hold it and move my hand just enough so you might think that I might be in a band what wow I can also play mouth guitar boffing Wow pom pom pom pom boom that’s what women want I don’t play this saxophone but I’ve heard that it never fails for a woman to love a sax playing man so I bought one at a yard sale it looks incredibly complicated with all these moving parts but all I gotta do is move my fingers and throw back and I had to speak to your heart that’s what women want I don’t technically have a child but I’ve heard the ladies hi a man who doesn’t live it home and drive a car instead of a fire so I call Jack this convertible and I shoplift II this su and I know that it impresses you when I’m driving and talking on my bluetooth no no you don’t go ahead and schedule I’ll take it from the office the other one from Skype but I still gotta make my racquetball game aprietale that’s what winning wrong I don’t have the capacitor to feel emotions for others because I’m a sociopath I never knew my mother but I’ve learned how to mimic human feelings and make women think that I care I find it goes a long way to just tell a girl you like her hair hi how are you I absolutely love being with you you smell nice you make me the happiest you can trust me that’s what women want laughter the ladies like with Jake that’s with females that’s the face let’s look alive into that’s what men have you lost weight hi we’re the medical crew and you’re watching the mythical show oh hey Rhett link here on the beaches of Malibu with some stand-up paddleboards are going to be standing up and we’re going to be paddling because that’s what you do here why are you talking like that we’ve got read from su P ATX over there he knows what he’s doing what’s up Reed hey guys so like you stand up on these and you we should probably we should probably just you know talk like normal yeah I mean I’ve already got a hat on backwards yeah that’s kind of much what’s your prediction as to our ability level here well you guys are going to be shredding but which one of us do you think would be the better paddleboard judging from physique I’d have to say link you know he’s Compaq he’s got the low center of gravity what’s wrong with my physique read another man you know you got the albatross thing going on albatross is like someone’s gonna die I’m just drinking soap around my neck what do we do if we see sharks you in with a quick quick pivot turn yeah punch them in the nose they would say punch them in the nose maybe thumbs to the I probably stop bleeding I used to be CPR certified used to be I’m over one on my CPR oh whoa oh really well we’ll talk about that later all right so let’s uh let’s go through the basics when we get deep enough well we’ll position ourselves like this and then just you know get a couple strokes and get some momentum going one foot at a time pop up nice even shoulder width base to your stance come up get the paddle back in your hand and get the blade back in the water now at what point do I stand back here and you two guys get up here and then I like seeing you love song on the be good you want a massage oh that’s nice I’m married to a woman so it’s linked Lovington just so you know it would have any oil all right break it up guys let’s stay focused active neutral corners okay I think I think you’ve totally made up for the whole albatross comment now I feel ready yeehaw yeah I’m ready let’s quit talking and start paddling it’s called stand-up paddleboarding but at least at first I was under the impression that it was fall off paddleboarding I mean that’s that’s the only reason I was falling off I remember the day I think it was sixth grade that I physically felt my center of gravity shift up a little bit and I thought there’s no recovering from this all right it’s time to start riding some waves so I’m thinking here comes a wave I’m gonna ride it I’m not gonna get too aggressive and my strategy is just to let my body from the waist up just go totally limp and that’s a stupid idea I think I’m starting to get the hang of this this is coming together from me that’s what I’m thinking then I look over I see red and he’s struggling you know they say the first time Michael Jordan was handed a basketball he slipped out of his hands the first time the Tiger Woods was handed a golf club he was like what do I do with this he I mean he was a toddler but now Reid is a professional and he said this is these are difficult conditions that’s something that hang his hat on right there he also called me an albatross tortoise s rhettandlink at a pretty much a third grade level late maybe fourth thanks to sup ATX and Reid for showing us the ropes of stand-up paddleboarding where there’s no actual rope involved we can incorporate a rope there made me that easy we hold each other up like a tug-of-war sort of situation we can hang out our our board shorts and they dry and we can hang a fishing line from it maybe catch on the open water okay obviously we had a pretty mean we yeah I had a pretty difficult time I will tell you though it’s incredibly fun I’ve done it since then I focused a little bit more on just paddling around you don’t have to ride the wave I got to get the fundamentals it’s a motor transmission you take it on a lake you can take it on a river you can take it in the open ocean and I’m taking it to the beach on my vacation I thought you met I’m gonna take mine all the way to like New Zealand no I’m not crossing the ocean but listen if you see me out there I’ll be the one that falls everyone I’m not gonna talk to you what I’m saying I’m letting you know ahead of time I’m not even a wave at you that if you want to use the board you should just tap me on the shoulder but I’m not going to speak right and then I’ll just use it now give it back I’m gonna be on a different beach man so but it it’s one of the funnest things I’ve I’ve ever done on the open ocean most fun Greg Raymer I’ll tell you something we are not good at in addition to stand-up paddleboarding yet that is taking a photo as a comedic duo we have to take photos that’s what we do that’s what you expect of us you expect to go on the internet and search rhettandlink images and then you expect to see the two of us doing something we got some photos but we realize that it’s kind of limiting you don’t know what what do you do in a photo is there a way to take it up a notch so what we did is we enlisted the help of a more established comedy duo to give us advice on the next set of photos that we are going to take now we take these guys make some of the funniest videos on the internet they also have their own show on comedy central key and Peele what is that hmm well well well it looks like an illegal firearm or is it Oh season three you key & peele premieres on September 18th on Comedy Central but they stopped by to give us some advice on taking the perfect comedy duo photo this is like an interview right as well so we’re doing you know we’re doing you guys are interviewing us about our upcoming show no no we were just hoping you guys could help us take a better picture of the two of us oh oh oh I see you want to see what we got um okay I mean we’re here this is what this is one this is just like standing that’s number one yeah a lot of times we do the outside point you know outside hand points double gunslinger gunslingers mm-hmm and then we done back-to-back and then we’ve kind of got the arms akimbo kind of Superman and that’s pretty much it though I mean I think that’s four oh no no we don’t finish it yet sometimes I’ll point at my guys shake it’s a brand bar should we show yeah walk in relationship sometimes it’s better if you just have someone okay all right first one pretty pretty basic Heimlich we’ll do the hundred you got the Half Nelson Half Nelson and then usually the next picture you see is the Full Nelson you can always do the the under arrest yep your enemy which is just the you can do that cuz we’re girls we’re black and remember smile anyway you can smile angrily that’ll confuse the person who’s looking at the photo how you do that you guys get up here give it give it a try does he have to be in it yeah he has to be in it because it’s a comedy duo don’t think about it but hit us right now roller coaster yeah oh yeah 100% correct um you know what just go for it let’s just go new key and wedgie that’s the picture right there high school wrestling what is ice skating do to you hey yeah that’s good red I like the looking at it just show us some weird thing that a human can’t do that that’s one man that’s one man look look at the strain on his face that’s great red well there’s the conducive and confusing things yeah the flexors are the flexible it is or is it just a source I got is a guy but the guy in his back no it’s a flexible man with another head coming out of his butt look at the head the head doesn’t know what’s going on the headset how did I end up in his butt feel like we should show we should show you a couple more guys you’re you’re getting there I think okay let’s meet willing to crack your imaginations behind early we’re gonna take it up a notch now you understand huh here we go baby bird mama bird middle school year blade let’s cook the yearbook photo photo bomb rodeo nosy urinators weekend at Bernie’s the human shield and then of course there’s murder-suicide so you guys wanna give another shot yeah we have confidence in you he’s a lot that goes into this I never realized oh yeah have you guys ever done black and white cellphone bars totem-pole Byfuglien rowing team girls at a party girls at a restaurant girls at amusement park drop shadow god you’re getting it you really had it no man I’ll tell you what you are gonna be taking some great pictures it’s a ton I think that we’ve got you know lots of synergy I think there’s promise for like I have to do like a comedy troupe thing before other quartets or situation you know do it yeah I mean it’s yeah certainly it’s an idea isn’t it we’ve already got the photos we have to have a meeting right now yeah I’m sorry we have to have a meeting right now that’s not in this room I don’t think they’re too into the idea of us working together it’s okay got each other oh my word head Ranger Sullivan has died who’s that our boss we got a boss yeah the man we meet with every Monday you tells us what to do I thought that was my imagination every week I got quite an imagination I hate elevators I don’t like being elevated in general I hope the new head Ranger likes boys and beer nothing you probably should have made poison berry muffin now don’t say that I’m sure he’s a fine upstanding woman bear knock knock uh who’s there y’all are all y’all are all y’all are almost him in its link well I have some trouble with my muffin tops hey you sir the condition of that uniform is unacceptable this ain’t my uniform is my skin it’s used with my body about 12 years ago laude and facial hair is a violation of forest coal section C 38 right but I’ve been granted an exception because my moustache is the only thing that keeps me from looking like a woman shower gracious and I got an exception cuz my brains in my beard boating accident well since y’all are so exceptional you can meet me exceptionally early for my daily jog around the park perimeter morning hit Ranger mcclain y’all fools ready to run I thought I’d use my scooter it’s a very efficient mode of travel this anus coupe is a jog oh and I brought some supplies for our jog water count sunscreen and some homemade treats I call Russell’s energy balls alright girl Ranger mcclain energy balls yeah all natural okay give me 100 I love charades Nick Bolen I think she might be choking yeah that’s it choking no I think she’s choking the ego I oh well we got a new – Heimlich you take the top and I’ll take the bottom we gotta time this right you go first looks like I got a do a trick Anatomy yeah yeah well I’ll be she’s hardly theirselves are you okay I almost died choking on the energy ball what do you think I think I should have made my teeny weeny energy balls died choking on the energy ball you think that’s how I want to be remembered my daddy died choking on the uncooked shut up you two numbnuts just earn two weeks of duty duty duty duty you got anymore name energy balls on you now let them climb out come on you think there’s any way you can work out like making me a weekly batch or something now I can’t commit to that but I mean ever I’ll make some next time I’ll let you everything that’s that’s the best I can do but I feel like it it past won’t at this point I mean I feel like I need energy ball well they they are mildly habit for me so you need to keep that in mind I dream about them things I want them real bad but what do you put in there make me want to pay it’s simple it’s sugar in its butter and a little bit of flour and nicotine you’ve got questions we know because we’ve got questions everybody’s got questions now usually when you got a question you want the answer right then and what do you do you google it and Google has gotten so Google has gotten so good and anyons I can’t not only answering questions but anticipating what the question is before you’ve even finished typing it’s called autocomplete which brings us to a segment that we are now calling complete answers to Google autocomplete questions now what fun would it be for us to actually go on the internet and get these answers no fun so we brought in the smartest man on YouTube Michael Stephens creator and host of Vsauce thank you guys I’m not the smartest I I would say I’m really curious first of all it doesn’t take a lot to be the smartest man on YouTube hey hey you are definitely the smartest man on YouTube diss on it man everyone is smart in their own way can I have it then can I be this one yeah certainly everyone is special in their own way they are cuz I don’t believe that and everyone’s a winner alright this is what we’re going to do we are going to start to Google some questions and then you were going to give us the right answer that everyone on Google and then the collective space wants to know ok but we’ve got it we got to start with a good question here why do tacos why do tacos have two tortillas give me diarrhea yes why do tacos give me diarrhea because they give me diarrhea I had a really bad experience in Dominica Republic I have a lot of opinions about diarrhea and I’d like to you’re maybe maybe the tacos weren’t properly made maybe the meat wasn’t refrigerated right bacteria grew in it maybe it’s just that it’s spicy or it’s something your system isn’t used to and those spices contain capsaicin a molecule that agitates the very same receptors that heat and pain agitates and only happens to mammals birds reptiles they can eat tacos no diarrhea you mean reptiles don’t are not in a spicy food they can’t have cents spice no all right let’s go with another one why does water boil yeah tastes so good why does water taste so good the thing that strikes me is funny is that there’s a lot of people at Google in question I mean these these things get Auto suggested because they’re common there’s millions of people out there it’s waters water tastes so great so good why why someone plays Google death our ancestors if they didn’t like water they would have died out we didn’t be here I didn’t drink water until I was in college I still haven’t drank water this is coffee I’ve never had water in my life I’m serious I drink real mellow yellow’ from the time I quit nursing the time I was in college whoa right nurse smelly oh yeah really I know I met your mom she’s bizarre let’s go to the animal kingdom why do elephants have tusks eat poop let’s just keep with the bathroom does this really happen elephants eat poop everything we eat is or used to be poop the atoms in this coffee hundreds of them were once peed out of Albert Einstein sure elephants eat it while it’s still poop but I wonder do they eat elephant poop or just any kind of poop I believe they eat their obey their keepers poop I think you get fired pretty quickly just taking a dump in the elephant I try to hey these cutbacks at the zoo I do what I can to control you know I think I think elephants eat their own poop yeah how do you know how do you roll let’s go without how do you roll any roll Michael oh you’re looking for translational movement with rotation it just means that every point on the object needs to move at the velocity of the center of mass so I roll so actually everything rolls I’m a kind of mean like what kind of car do you drive I don’t even own a car you don’t roll at all I don’t roll at all well thanks for coming in here and enlightening us on the mythical show thank you very much guys you want to go get a taco honor I do yeah let’s get a taco the mythical male boda increases its mass this week we got among many other things a bird from Austin and Santa Clarita California a keychain camera and a bacon ring from James and Kari in Georgia and a wizard with a lightsaber from John in Indiana we’re gonna keep adding stuff to the boulder so mail us something visit facebook.com slash Breton link for more information thank you you know we’ve had a lot of good times together you and me us and them that lots of things to me within the court of life or like do some of those 12 episodes I’m already beginning to forget all the amazing things that have happened the things that we’ve experienced as it as a duo as a team of mythical beasts as a herd well you know what we can’t let that happen and that’s why we’ve assembled this emotionally charged retrospective let’s retrospect together welcome to the mythical show now put it right in front of your eyeballs okay can you see on both sides of No I’ve been living out of a car for the past three months there is AI dot I bet you we could do this at the pool I can charge admission I wash there is toilet there that was so bad was it you know what I learned from all that what we touch each other alive well and the interest of comedy you know it it’s all in these are comedy yeah what stop dude okay just trying to keep it consistent okay it’s time to announce blue drumroll please the winner of the cicada challenge thank you to all of you who have eaten cicadas obediently obediently mythical beasts yeah thank you there can only be one winner of the great mythical beast prize pack and that is our grand prize winner 58 lost marbles ah okay don’t do that congratulations 58 lost marbles you win the mythical beasts prize pack which consists of a signed mythical show poster the mythical show t-shirt and the all-new mythical shoes 2.000 and you know what I’m gonna issue another mythical beast prize back to someone else a mythical beast who deserves special recognition congratulations to Aron mcmenamy’s you also receive a mythical beast prize back because you have creatively promoted the mythical show every week pretty much every week done some amazing thing you know what else you’re it she made fiery talk to fiery oh look at that she made fiery the puppet from Forest Patrol one-of-a-kind are you gonna make me communicate with that puppet when you get when we need to like work through something talk to fiery thank you for making this you also win it if you want to get the mythical shoe 2.0 you can order that stuff up if you want to sign poster you can order that stuff up people make it happen and now it’s time to spend the mega wheel of mega mythicality or you do that Rhett we need to address some of the comments here address a letter what’s going to happen now this season one of the mythical shells over how does good mythical morning play into this well we will tell you good mythical morning is coming back people we don’t have a date we don’t know exactly win just chill out you know what just sit there check back occasionally I like had a moment of are we going to say anything that we can commit to anything am I just gonna it was like so dramatic sometime in the future good mythical morning we’ll be back in the near future near future thanks for supporting the metal show in season 1 thanks for our team for making this thing possible guys two five-year-olds meeting for the first time hey hey hey you’re a handshake not a man I’m a five-year-old I don’t like to make eye contact give me five man I just want to do with the people that I mean I haven’t been taught how to do five what is that you hold your hand oh my parents told me not to touch strangers I’m a stranger I’m another kid how do you have a beard it’s very weird I have a hormone issue you do this and you give a five like that and sometimes you can do double high-fives called dye ten your hands are very sweaty and you have a beard I found your friend I have a hormone issue what is ice skating do to you um like I’m going like grandma no grandma Grima waist like get of time Beach don’t lift me but I stacked like I’m being so you guys are great that’s good rap I like the looking at him now now look at the camera run that’s it red that’s it work that worked that freaking eyebrow there we go really that’s good I’m really proud of you