J. K. Simmons Eats His Last Meal

Channel: Mythical Kitchen

YouTube Video ID: gtVRVYwtvhU

Transcript

I'm J.K. Simmons and this is my last
meal.
>> [bell]
[music]
>> Every person has exactly two things in
common. We all got to eat and we're all
going to die. Today's guest is an
Academy Award-winning actor who you
might recognize from Whiplash, Juno, and
his several attempts to defame
Spider-Man. His new show The Westies is
out now on MGM Plus, but before all of
that, he was just the fastest damn grill
cook at the Bob Evans Farm Sausage on
Route 61.
J.K. Simmons, welcome to the show.
>> Hey, man. How are you? I was tied for
fastest with my pal Paul Lang.
>> But you went from bus boy at the Bob
Evans to grill cook at the Bob Evans to
just two dudes getting arrested outside
the Bob Evans.
>> Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]
>> What happened with that?
>> We were 15 years old and there was a
curfew
in in Worthington, Ohio and Columbus,
Ohio. So, of course, we all from age 13,
we would just sneak out at night just
just to break a law.
>> Yeah.
>> I'd gone on vacation. We'd been on a
family vacation. We were working the
summer at the at the Bob Evans. And uh
the day we got back, Paul came over to
sleep over at my house and we're hanging
out and and he's telling me there was
something very new and exciting at Bob
Evans. They switched out the salt
shakers or something. There was
something. I was like, "Oh, wow. That's
wow, that's fascinating. Let's go." So,
at like 3:00 a.m.
we go we walk like 2 mi from my house to
the Bob Evans up Route 61 like like
jumping into a bush anytime a car came
because we were illegally on the street.
And we're hanging outside Bob Evans
peeking in the windows and he's showing
me whatever the table and whatever. Some
some new different thing. And then we're
just hanging out, you know, and I see
this look come onto Paul's face of like
what, you know.
And just as I'm about to turn and see
what he's looking at behind him, I see
cop car like Starsky and Hutch style,
you know, pulling in and cops come out.
I I kid you not, guns drawn.
Up against the wall, like get searched.
I think one of us had like a tiny
little, you [music] know, mini pocket
knife and they were like
>> Oh, man.
>> Like, you know, West Side Story and they
hauled us downtown
and then put us in separate rooms.
>> Oh my god, prisoner's dilemma. They
prisoner's dilemma you.
>> And my dad was a very, very kind and
gentle man. This was one of the rare
exceptions to to that uh that persona of
his because they woke him up at 4:30 in
the morning to say, [laughter] "Drive
half an hour to the precinct downtown
and pick up your idiot kid." Um he was
not happy.
>> And that's how the show Oz was created.
>> That was the beginning of my my my my
first brush with law enforcement. Yeah.
>> Thank you so much for joining me, man.
Have you thought about your last meal
before?
>> Not until you asked me to.
>> Really?
>> And uh uh
thought of my favorite stuff.
>> Yeah. Well, did anything surprise you
about your own thought process? Any
memories that you didn't expect to get
brought up?
>> I realized that um
that the the the family recipes,
whether, you know, my
my current immediate family, my parents,
you know, that was those were the real
comfort foods in every sense of the
word.
>> How often do you think about death?
>> Maybe a little bit more
as a septuagenarian.
>> Mhm.
>> Which is technically not a word.
>> Uh what do you mean technically not?
>> Well, I was disappointed to to look up
in at least my dictionary app.
Because, you know, there's when you're
80, you're an octogenarian.
>> Sure, yeah, yeah.
>> When you're 70,
I assume you're a septuagenarian.
>> Are people living so long now that it's
just no longer
>> even a thing. It's like whatever. It's
like whatever. 70, 71, big deal.
>> Yeah, I mean, maybe is it in your
dictionary? I don't know.
>> Did you think about death when you were
younger at all though? Were you that
type of existentialist?
>> Only when I was like like
near it. Uh I I had two near drowning
incidents. One was a One was a young kid
and and then another as a
complete idiot
>> [groaning]
>> 19-year-old.
>> Did they get you to reframe any of your
idiot 19-year-old behaviors or not?
>> No.
>> Yeah. They didn't get you.
>> Just just some brief existential angst
and then
>> [laughter]
>> and then back to the stupidity.
>> Right back to it. Yeah.
JK, you ready to eat?
>> I am ready to eat. Yes, please.
>> [bell]
>> JK, for the first course of your final
meal on Earth, we have the fat burger,
the chips and guac, and then this is
something you didn't ask for, but
>> No, I did not.
>> but I'm wondering if you know what this
is.
>> Oh, would that be the dancing shrimp?
>> This what
Wait, hold on. Hold on. Let me Now, do
you recognize it? Look at those shrimp
dance.
>> Yeah.
>> This is the dancing shrimp. And where's
this from?
>> They do be dancing. I believe that's
from the Red Eye Grill on 7th Avenue in
New York City.
>> That is indeed from the Red Eye Grill.
This is the chips and guac from the Red
Eye Grill. We tried to recreate it
exactly to their presentation, which I
will say is
quite baroque with all of the vegetables
and the homemade potato chips, but this
is more for me because I have walked
past the Red Eye Grill no more than a
dozen times in Manhattan and seen the
sign home of the dancing shrimp,
>> [music]
>> and I have never gone in. And so, I
wanted to have these with you.
>> We
We eat there a lot, and
I have also never had the dancing
shrimp,
>> [laughter]
>> but you know, here we are.
>> How have you been inside the home of the
dancing shrimp and not gotten the
dancing
>> do have actual other
fantastic food on the menu.
>> Listen, we we're we're going to start
wherever you want. This is tremendously
distracting though. I need to put this
down here, and it can still be seen on
camera.
>> We have a a third joining us.
>> JK, when was the first time you went to
the Red Eye Grill in New York?
>> Moved here in '83, definitely couldn't
afford the Red Eye Grill. Probably
probably not until I was on Broadway.
>> Is this kind of one of those like
splurge spots like you kind of finally
felt like you made it a little bit and
could afford more than you know, the
75-cent slice?
>> Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
>> Well, please, man, dig in.
So, we have the skinny fries.
>> good.
>> This is the double medium fat burger.
It's a medium fat burger with like a
third pound patty on a wheat bun with
lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and cheese.
>> I got ripped off. I only got a single
patty here.
It's all right. It's fine. It's fine.
>> to get good Fatburger help around here.
>> It's a It's a fantastic burger.
>> What if you don't do diet right?
>> They don't have this at Fatburger. You
got to
As a matter of fact, I think they're not
going to have this anywhere soon. I
think they're phasing it out. But,
please, keep making diet rites. It's
It's healthy. It's a healthy diet diet
coke.
>> Oh, you These were originally only sold
in pharmacies marketed to diabetic
patients. This is the first, some call
it the second, diet soda in America.
>> Are you making this up?
>> I'm dead I'm dead serious. I know a
weird amount about the history of diet
soda.
>> We never had soda at my house when I was
a kid.
I don't remember when I started
gravitating to it as an adult, but it's
It has no aspartame and no caffeine.
It's just sucralose. And
>> Mhm.
>> And it's delicious. We're going to have
a skinny fry.
>> And you're not partaking in the lovely
ketchup.
>> Why would you spoil
a perfectly good french fry by dipping
it in like sugary stuff that used to be
kind of vaguely related to a tomato.
Well, I guess we're about to find out,
aren't we?
>> Oh, because it tastes so good. JK, it's
one of the few things that engages all
five senses of taste.
It's salty, it's sweet, it's sour.
It's got umami. They did it.
>> I mean, I don't know any of those words
you just said, but you're
You're just wrong.
>> Fatburger, I think this might be the
first or maybe the second time that we
had Fatburger compared to roughly a
dozen In-N-Out orders and people.
>> Yeah. I mean, In-N-Out is great.
>> Sure.
>> And it's a fantastic company
>> Mhm.
>> because they they really treat their
employees well and they they profit
share and all that. And anytime you go
to In-N-Out, like the people helping you
are like pleasant and competent, which
is not often the case when you go to a
fast food joint. So.
>> Very rare thing.
>> But Fatburger is my my go-to.
>> The guac and mole from Red Eye Grill.
Red Eye Grill, their last service ever
will be on July 12th in New York.
They're closing down for good. They just
announced this recently.
So, unless you can get out there
>> Why would you tell me that?
>> It's your last meal. I want you to go to
the grave with the full knowledge of all
the things that are happening in our
>> Jake, I can't lie to you.
>> The writing was on the wall cuz I was
going to meet a friend for lunch there
recently. Got there at 1:00 and they
were not open for lunch. I was like, how
are you not open for lunch
>> Yeah.
>> at 56th Street and 7th Avenue in New
York City.
>> Yeah. How do you you react to the way
that New York has changed so much?
>> As we've said, I'm a septuagenarian.
So, everywhere I go, when I go back to
Big Fork, Montana, I'm like, "Well, it
ain't like it was in 1970."
So, yeah, the the the the thing I notice
and because I'm I don't really live in
one place a
lot. Um I yeah, I just keep noticing
what's not there anymore.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> And now I'll be noticing that Red Eye
Grill is not there anymore. We used to
also go to my wife and I used and and
the kids
would go to uh
Ru 57
>> Mhm.
>> uh a couple blocks over from Red Eye
Grill, which closed, I think, just
sort of towards the end of the pandemic.
They they couldn't quite make it
through. But hey, life has changed.
>> Life life has changed. That's one of the
few certainties that we get. Um and then
sometimes you can also relive a lot of
those changes by playing in a 1980s
period piece in Hell's Kitchen, New
York.
>> This is true.
>> In The Westies, you would have been
living in Hell's Kitchen while The
Westies gang, which is kind of known as
like the last vestige of the Irish
Mafia, was active. Did you have any
mafia run-ins?
>> I did live in Hell's Kitchen in the
early '80s
and
did not I was I I an actor
/ waiter.
>> Sure.
>> One of my best waiter job was at Joe
Allen which is a classic theater row
Bistro.
>> Can I start eating now?
>> Oh, please eat. I'm so sorry. Dig in.
This is your last meal. Please dig in
eat talk with your mouth full.
I'm sorry I'm being a
>> There'll be a lot of that. I'll be
fully embarrassed
my children by [laughter]
getting food in my beard.
Um
I like having the
the variety of accoutrement. Yeah, so so
I would you know
you'd finish the post theater shift and
be walking home
with a pocket full of cash.
>> Yeah.
>> Cuz the tips have been you know
distributed and uh
kind of kind of looking over your
shoulder to
see if any of the Westies are interested
in having your pocket full of cash.
>> You lived in New York for a while before
you were ever actually even on Broadway.
You're doing a lot of regional theater
really scraping together money. You have
this story earlier in your career where
you got back from a regional theater
gig. You're hanging out at your buddy's
place and just spent your last dime on a
slice of pizza contemplating you know
are you going to try and go back and get
your teaching certificate? And then your
buddy Greg leaves you $40. It's I don't
know it feels like this guardian angel
kind of story not to put too much
apocrypha on it.
But like do you look back at that as
maybe like
a crossroads in your career?
>> It was just a gigantic
gesture on his part. Greg Edelman. Um
what I think I was subletting from a a
guy that Greg and I had both worked with
on a national tour Doonesbury the
musical
in which Greg played the title role
and I played
the provost
and understudied three guys and was the
second assistant stage manager.
>> A lot of hats.
>> And I think Greg had come over to to
hang out at at my place
and probably brought the beer and the
pizza and yeah and I was I was you know
just lamenting. I'd come back from a
theater job
and I've been pounding the streets, you
know,
for auditions, but also just trying to
get a waiter job and nobody was hiring
and I was just like
flat-ass broke and
what am I going to do? And then, uh, I
don't remember if it was after he left
that night or if it was, uh,
the following morning, I saw that he'd
kind of kind of stuck some cash under
my, uh,
my answering machine, the old-school
answering machine, so
to not, you know, not make a big deal of
it, but, uh, thank you, Greg. That was
that was a that was,
you know,
and I I I I think when I
I've told the story recently, I may have
inflation may have played a part cuz
[snorts] I I think I've I've said it's
like it was a 100 bucks, but I think 40
bucks is probably much more accurate.
>> You're in a movie called Up in the Air
and there's a great line that George
Clooney says to your character, which is
"How much did they first pay you to give
up on your dreams?"
You know, you said $27,000. Like your
the first desk job that you took, those
dreams got deferred indefinitely. Were
you ever close amid all the struggle of
the regional theater and crashing on
sublets and all the hell holes in Hell's
Kitchen, were you ever close to just
giving it all up?
>> Well, first of all, the the that
character's dream in Up in the Air were
his dreams were culinary.
>> They were culinary, yeah.
>> Mine are doing fresh pastry.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
My character flashes a picture of his
kids, you know, "What am I supposed to
tell them?" or something. And that was,
of course,
our kids.
>> Oh, that's
>> Show and Olivia, yeah. Yeah, I I mean, I
was very close to that that that night
you were just talking about, you know,
with with Greg Edelman and me in Hell's
Kitchen, you know, I was I was like,
"This is, you know, this this ain't
working out."
>> Yeah.
>> And and if I'd have had
any other remotely saleable skill of any
kind, you know, other than being a
not very good waiter
or, you know,
digging a ditch or bussing tables or
delivering pizza. Come to think of it, I
have many, many skills.
>> [laughter]
>> Really well-rounded human.
>> Great grill cook. You can still do that.
I think Bob Evans
>> I can, I don't. Yeah.
>> [laughter]
>> I I I
I'm a I'm a consumer.
>> Man, I'll free you to dancing
>> Oh, yes. I forgot about the dancing
shrimp.
>> Seeing as you've never had these and the
Redeye Grill is going out of business.
So, we have the head. Oh, you see you
detach the
tail, I think. And then the head is
maybe decorative, but maybe you can eat
part of the head.
You can eat part of it. And then we have
three
>> [laughter]
>> How did this not work?
>> It looks like it you should just eat it
like a corn dog. Right?
>> And maybe you do. I
Well, it's not too bad. We have three of
sauces. We have ponzu, which is
basically mayonnaise. And And this is
all exactly how they do it at the Redeye
Grill.
>> And we're I mean, they're closing
anyway, but you're damning them with
faint praise. It's not too bad.
Shrimp, Redeye Grill, we hardly knew
you.
>> [bell]
>> JK, for the second course of your final
meal on Earth, we're just calling this
the Don Simmons special. These are Don
Simmons famous cheese balls and then
also the Finnish pancake, which this is
fresh out of the oven. It is ripping
hot. Um your sister was kind enough to
send us the recipes for both of these.
And I will say sometimes you get a
family recipe and you're like,
"How the hell is this going to turn
out?" Do these look true to
>> They're They're a little more hemisphere
than sphere.
>> Sure, yeah. You're You're used to
sphere.
>> Actually balls.
>> Sure, yeah.
>> They're sort of half
>> We thought about it. We tried our best.
>> castrated balls.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> may.
>> Mhm, yeah. Emasculated, the Italians
call
>> I'm getting the smell already. So, I
think I think the ingredients are there.
>> What is the context that these cheese
balls would would been served in your
life.
>> Well, this would just be a an appetizer
pre
you know, dinner party.
My parents
entertained a lot, had had fun people
over there.
>> Thank you so much.
>> Gather around the piano singing
18th century madrigals and you know,
being very
artistic in the 1960s. So, cheese ball.
I'm picking up a fork, but you know,
[laughter]
a cheese ball.
>> I didn't know you didn't want to eat it.
>> again, saying it would be traditionally
would look quite a bit like this.
>> Maybe that's what we got to do. Put
little toothpicks in them.
They probably did use toothpicks. Well,
yeah, man, that's it.
>> That's right there.
I think there's only three ingredients
in these. I think it's cheese, flour,
and salt.
>> I know. Yeah.
>> Did you like see your parents
entertaining with these big groups of
artistic [music] people and think like
that is what I want to surround my own
life with?
>> No.
>> No, you rebelled against them.
>> No, I just I just remember thinking as
kids, you know, and of course we would
you know, we would be
sent to bed, but you know, who's going
to go to sleep with people having fun
downstairs. So, you know, the classic,
you know, peeking between the
posts on the banister thinking what what
could possibly be so funny
down there. Nobody's Nobody's making
faces.
Like the adult world was just such a
mystery.
>> Yeah.
>> and how and how could any kid
ever turn into
one of those adults downstairs. Just
seemed like a different species.
>> Did you ever have a moment where you
felt like you were turning into that
species?
>> No, not yet.
>> Not yet. You'll say you still got time.
You're just a fake septuagenarian.
>> Right, maybe when I'm an octogenarian.
>> Yeah, I am.
>> I'll feel like a grown up.
>> Can I slice this this finished pancake?
This is another dad specialty.
>> I believe my dad got that recipe from my
aunt Reva.
>> Are either of them finished?
>> Neither of them is remotely finished.
Um [laughter]
and we do have a little a little Norse
key in our blood, but well, more more
Scots-Irish and Welsh and
>> Wow.
>> Yeah, that was a kind of well, it looks
kind of like a kishke. He would do it in
a square pan or a rectangular pan.
>> I would call this almost like a Dutch
baby, but I guess this would be a
Finnish baby. We have a whole slew of
condiments. I if you'd like any butter,
honey, there's a little bit of honey in
the batter, cinnamon sugar, and then a
bit of jam right here.
>> Where's the maple syrup, man?
>> I got to go get some maple syrup out
here.
I hear executive producer Annelise
wrestling around. Yeah, hell yeah,
Annelise. Thank you.
>> Actual maple syrup.
>> That is real maple syrup. Listen,
listen, we we save money by skimping out
on burger patties and we we spend it on
the real maple syrup.
>> All right, got to get a little bit of
the edge.
>> I have no idea what this is going to
taste like.
>> Ever been to Finland?
>> No.
They're the happiest country on earth.
>> Pretty close.
>> Mhm.
>> It's not It's not quite the rush of
nostalgia as the cheese biscuit, but
>> Sure, sure.
>> really good.
>> So, your dad had the music chair at the
University of Montana, and he also was
the head of several organizations
regarding music and education that were
so many words long.
Um, you got your degree from the
University of Montana in classical music
composition and conducting, and somehow
Damien Chazelle didn't know any of that
when he cast you for Whiplash. That's
insane.
>> Jason Reitman, by the way.
>> Mhm.
>> Who was producing that with Helen
Estabrook.
They suggested me as a possibility to
Damien, and
this was before the short film.
>> Yeah.
>> They said, "Well, we'll have you meet
with Damien and have lunch." And
so we set up the lunch, and I saw, you
know,
saw Damien, who was literally looked
like he was
18 years old, you know.
We sat down and did the usual, "Oh,
you're so great. You're so great." Um,
and then the first thing he said really
out of his mouth after the after the
pleasantries was
I want to take the onus off you.
Don't be intimidated by the musical
aspects of this. We'll have a technical
advisor.
Uh we can we can have a body double for
a lot of the like really conducting
shots, you know.
And and I'm kind of staring blankly at
him and he he finishes his little
cautionary tale and I go
Did Reitman not tell you that like am I
being punked here? I was like I I wanted
to be Leonard Bernstein when I was
I have a degree in conducting,
composition, voice.
This was to do the short film. So I'm I
was going to learn this score.
And if you have guys that can play
I will be conducting them. I'm not going
to be up there, you know, waving my
arms. And he was you know, he was
obviously there was a sense of kismet.
>> Yeah, did your dad ever get to see you
play Terence Fletcher?
>> No.
>> Never. He he passed away would have been
right when you're filming this short
film then, yeah?
>> My folks knew about it and knew that I
was excited about it.
>> Yeah.
>> But
you know, they knew that I was excited
about the
75 other jobs before that that nobody
ever saw.
>> Of course, of course.
>> But but my my siblings my
sister and brother both pointed out that
my my ictus
which is the where the beat actually
happens
was was exactly my father's where the
the
for some reason that middle finger kind
of drops down a little bit and that's
like the point of the baton if you had,
you know. And obviously some conductors
use a baton and some don't. Um
and he he did both actually. We had I
still have boxes of
his batons and then my baton. I had one
baton and this is like this is like
Harry Potter going down Diagon Alley to
the [laughter] you know, to to get your
wand, you know? I mean to have an an
actual baton that some somebody hand
makes on a lathe or whatever, you know,
which like
somehow a big a big uh
right of passage for me when I was
whatever, 19 years old in college.
>> Yeah. Did you think that anyone was
going to watch Whiplash? I mean, you
mentioned the 75 other projects that
you'd been excited about similarly.
>> I I had kind of learned not to
concern myself with that.
>> As a more of a defense mechanism against
getting hurt or as a you're just there
to serve the art and do the job?
>> Yeah, I guess some of both. I mean, I I
I done several little indie films
that I thought were good and um
you know, were seen by dozens of people
and
>> Mhm.
>> um
And I mean, I you know, obviously
Whiplash was a a work of genius from
from the very beginning. So, it was it
was extraordinary
on the page. Um
I mean, they speak for themselves. It
was it was a an absolute
gift from on high to be a part of just
reminded me of Brahms when I was when I
went through a very fertile
uh composer stage in college.
And I'd been reading about Brahms, who
was a a favorite of mine.
Brahms had said in in some interviews
that uh
that he doesn't he doesn't create.
That he is a conduit from
God.
>> Yeah.
>> The music comes from God
through Brahms,
through his pen
onto the page, you know.
And you know, there there were times
during that fertile period of mine where
I where I I did feel like
something else was happening here. And I
literally wrote with a you know, I was
so pretentious.
>> [laughter]
>> You know, I'm like 20 years old, 19
years old. I wrote with a a music, you
know, nib on my ink pen, you know, and
yeah, there was a a brief fertile period
there where where that you know,
the muse, something something Brahms,
somebody was with me helping me uh do
all that stuff that
nobody will ever hear outside of the
University of Montana.
>> Yeah, I mean no nobody will ever hear
outside of that, but they saw you
portray a character that was deeply
affected by music in Whiplash and I like
firmly believe that those experiences
really really really add up into create
such a wonderful work of art. Whiplash
is one of my favorite movies because
it's one of the only movies that's ever
made me feel physically sick.
Physically sick. I watched the scene
where Miles wakes up late to his alarm
and I went, "Oh no." Because I've had
that exact feeling with super demanding
chefs, with super demanding coaches, so
many of these people and your particular
portrayal not just you being terrifying,
it's not you
as a Nazi prison warden, you know what I
mean? Not that kind of terrifying, but
terrifying in the unique way of somebody
who has true belief in the art that
they're doing.
>> Right.
>> And that's the thing that came through
for me. He believed that he was speaking
for these gods of art. At least that's
what I thought it was. I know your dad
said something similar about conducting,
right? That he was simply there in
service of the person who wrote it. And
I I think
that fertile period carried through on
Whiplash, man.
>> I inherited that from my parents.
My mom sang and my dad's choirs and they
met actually doing a musical in college.
It's the same thing with with an actor,
you know? The when you're a musician,
when you're a singer, when you're a
instrumentalist or a conductor, I mean
you are
you're not I don't think of
an actor as a creative artist. I think
of an actor as a as a conduit, right?
Whether it's Shakespeare or
Damien Chazelle or Jason Reitman or
Arthur Miller, whatever, you know?
They created it
and it's our job to lift it off the
page. Amon Sweeney, my character in the
West East
not the cuddliest guy around, right?
There's a body count on the show,
spoiler alert, but in many ways like my
most terrifying character was a guy that
just yells at musicians.
>> The question coming out of Whiplash that
I've never been able to square in my
mind is
are happiness and greatness compatible?
Do you think they are?
>> I think it's
pretty rare
and you know, historically. I I I mean
again going back to, you know, classical
music and so many of the the great
composers that I that I adored and and
wanted to emulate, you know, but you
know, Beethoven an obvious example. Uh
uh
a lot of them were, you know, tortured
souls. Great pain [music] can yield
great creativity and great art. I I I'd
like to um
I don't want to I don't want to say skip
the pain part. You don't want to uh
>> I think sometimes people can indulge in
it.
>> Right. Those are the two tendencies like
skirt around it or wallow in it.
>> Mhm.
>> But the reality is
uh Scott Kahn is a pal who nobody knows,
by the way, is a playwright and uh uh
the title of one of his plays that I
think the first one I saw at a you know,
little black box theater in LA is called
it's it's it's like
sort of a
a one sentence
this is how you have to live life.
No way around but through.
>> Mhm.
>> Right?
That's the reality. I mean, you can
avoid and we do and I know I do
um
to my detriment and to the detriment of
those around me sometimes, but
I don't want to say always.
Usually best Usually best to just
face it.
>> You ready to go on to course number
three?
>> Yeah, can I uh take that home, right?
>> Take a We have We have to go boxes.
>> Good. though.
>> [bell]
>> JK for the third course of your final
meal, we have
wife Michelle's special blackened
tilapia with broccoli and corn and
roasted sweet potatoes subbed for the
mashed potatoes. We got Randall's
special right here. Uh and then we have
the coronation chicken. This is the
Schumacher family conflagration of
flavors over here.
>> This is fantastic.
I'm going to start with what's hot.
>> Start with what's hot.
>> Yeah, this is just something she just
did one day many moons ago, I think when
the kids were little.
>> Blackened fish was popular because of
one chef
Paul Prudhomme in the in the '70s.
You ever watch any Paul Prudhomme?
>> Uh
not a big chef watch chef show watcher.
My daughter loves those shows, but yeah,
Paul Prudhomme was I mean, he was
a big national figure at the time.
>> Do you remember the first time that
Michelle cooked for you?
>> I don't think I do remember the first
time. But I mean, we probably did it a
fair amount. We met on a on a national
tour.
>> Mhm.
>> And then of course we were of course we
were staying at hotels and you know,
eating out all the time, but then
>> That's when she was playing Tiger Lily
and you were playing Hook.
>> Tiger Lily and I was Hook.
>> Can you look at this picture and tell me
what she found so tremendously
attractive about this man right here?
>> obvious.
Isn't it?
>> You know, they say the bigger the hat.
>> [laughter]
>> There's an equally famous portrait of
the makeup was fantastic.
>> of really was.
>> Um
uh of the two of us, Tiger Lily and
Captain Hook uh uh
clearly enemies, you know, but
clearly in a very uh non-enemy pose with
her perched on my lap.
>> [laughter]
>> Plus
>> Keep your enemies closer, I think they
say.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> I think the kids call it enemies to
lovers. Do you read a lot of smut?
>> Sounds like a magazine in a Woody Allen
movie.
>> [laughter]
[snorts]
>> I think it reads like one, too.
>> No, I'm not familiar with smut.
>> Okay. Well, well, yeah, I think you you
could probably make a solid living doing
some some audiobooks on it. Um
we have at this table represented pretty
much every single person in you can't
run forever.
>> Mhm.
>> With the producer, with Randall,
>> Mhm.
>> with the director, Michelle the star,
we're just missing uh your two children
as a co-star and composer.
>> Right.
>> That was just a true family affair.
>> cook by the way. The kids The kids cook
pretty well. I'm
>> Yeah, you have none of your children's
dishes represented on your last meal.
>> Sorry.
Um, but yeah, no, that's great. That And
that was a
fantastic project for [music] all of us
to
be together on and
Michelle being the impetus cuz she was,
you know,
>> Mhm.
>> the creator. And yeah, Randall was a
one-man band
as the producer and Olivia had a really
nice supporting part and Joe did the
entire score. And [music] I was
the antagonist
uh in that one.
>> Yeah, you were a crazy serial killer
running around in the Montana woods with
your uh whole family just kind of
hanging out watching you directing and
composing. And it sounds like just a
really fun summer. You know what I mean?
Like if like in in all earnestness, like
if that is all of your family's
passions, there's almost something
delightfully uh school project about it
in a way of like let's just go up to the
woods. Dad's going to be the crazy
serial killer, you know him. And then
just run around. Did it feel like that?
Just like the whole family having fun?
>> It did, yeah. It absolutely did feel
like that. It It was not like a fun
summer project. It ended up being
originally scheduled as a
September and then pushed into, I think,
as you know, every film ever, you know,
gets pushed a little bit. So, by the
time we were shooting all those night
exteriors in the woods, it was coming on
winter in Montana at, you know, 4,500 ft
elevation. So, it was a It was a little
brisk.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. So, we did fight that and the
occasional bear,
you know, this [snorts] and that, but it
was a It was a fantastic fantastic time
[music] to be doing that together. Yeah.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> I'm going to embarrass my kids by having
some corn on the cob now.
>> I'm in.
>> They cut it off the cob?
>> I can cut it off here. I can
>> Michelle, no, no, no, no. I eat it on
the cob.
>> Oh, they The kids cut it off the cob.
>> My dad was a farm boy from Illinois, and
you know, you you eat it on the cob.
Mhm.
There's no better food. And you don't
need to mess with it.
>> So, we digging into Randall's special?
>> Yes, please.
>> We got very detailed recipe from
Randall. Cipollini onions, uh zucchini,
potatoes, carrots, chicken, then coming
together for a hash. And this is the
kicker, deglazed with Grand Marnier.
>> Just a little.
>> Just a little.
>> Yeah, this is just something that one of
those days you look in the pantry and
the fridge and you go, "Well, I got I
got some carrots, I got some corn, I got
some
Oh, cipollini onions. Those are fun, you
know. Yeah. Has to be cipollini onions,
by the way. Can't be like any other
onion.
>> No.
Cuz you got to be able to eat the whole
onion, and I literally keep a bag of
cipollini frozen cipollini onions in my
freezer at all times just for this. I
got to re-up on my cipollinis out there.
>> How did your life and career ambitions
change when you met Michelle, or did
they? I know, just speaking for myself,
um I wouldn't have had any sort of
ambitions. I would have been happy being
just kind of a bum cooking and writing
around until I met my wife, who was the
first person that told me like, "Hey, I
I believe in you, and and you can do
these things. And not only that, I think
you probably deserve these things." And
I was like, "That's a crazy thing for
someone to tell me." Um but I I really
attribute so much of my happiness to her
in that way.
Did you experience that at all?
>> Well, I I
differently. I mean, I certainly
attribute much of my happiness to her.
>> Sure, yeah.
>> I'll tell tell tell my 20-something
children that this is
this is the limit.
I was 36 and she was 24 when we met. So.
But being a dude and being a
and
having lived my whole life, you know,
single, you know, sort of sort of serial
monogamy, you know,
um
I was, you know, 36 going on 19.
>> And you met her doing what play?
>> We met her doing Yeah, yeah, right.
Yeah, Peter Pan.
Um yes. Yes, there is a There is a
syndrome. Yeah.
>> You know.
Hey, at least you weren't doing Oedipus
Rex, Mike, right?
I'll take that I'll take that high five
back. I'll take that high five back.
I'll take that
You're [laughter and snorts] saying
before I start talking about the
question of who we're about to eat.
>> There were There were
bumps in the road that some of which I
stuck there.
Um because of the whole Peter Pan thing,
yeah. I mean, frankly, I just didn't
like
like I'm in my late 30s. It's like, "Oh
my god, am I ready to be a grown-up?"
You know.
She was uh uh
loving and kind enough to uh to uh
hang in there.
More than hang in there. To to to, you
know, be willing to to be a partner.
>> I think you must have also brought
something very valuable to her life.
>> I mean, I guess there must be something.
>> [laughter]
>> All right.
>> Um coronation chicken. This is like a
1950s British recipe to celebrate Queen
Elizabeth.
And this is special number two,
Michelle.
>> First of all, when we we love going to
London uh for for work [music] and or
play.
And uh one of the things that
she really enjoys
uh she's a tea drinker. We love going to
afternoon tea, which isn't something we
rarely do. I mean, obviously, you can do
it other places besides London, but kind
of nobody does it better.
>> Yeah, you're supposed to do it there,
yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh We We did base this off of your
wife's recipe, which is based off of the
Fortnum & Mason recipe. And it is uh
tremendously uh time-intensive in terms
of like poaching the chicken and all
that. So, hopefully, we've done her
justice on this.
>> What is this little piece of greenery
you
>> Oh my god, that must have fallen out of
the plants back there.
>> Bolted on to
>> That's tremendously tremendously
embarrassing. What kind of restaurant
are we?
>> Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm?
Golden raisins?
>> Golden sultanas they call them uh the
Brits.
>> Okay.
>> You did a play called Birds of Paradise.
It talks about the idea of the struggle
being the best part in a way.
>> Yes, it's so hard to explain without it
sounding dumb.
It's a play within a play within a play
of The Seagull.
>> Okay.
>> Basically, John Cunningham played my
older brother. He did the Trigorin
character from The Seagull.
Who was in this case was a
a successful actor an actor who'd hit
the big time who was from the small
island community on the eastern
seaboard. And we were the community
theater.
And he's coming back to direct this play
written by
um
I don't remember any of the character
names ever. Todd Graff who was you know
Constantine the you know the young guy
and then
there's the Nina character on The
Seagull. I was kind of a compilation of
characters who played his younger
brother. And he
he's counseling this this young
passionate
talented like really brilliant kid who's
written this deep
you know tortured
painful uh
piece of musical theater and
peasants here don't you know don't
understand my genius and it's I can't I
can't wait to get to New York and be in
the big time with you and
you know and and he he gives this
beautiful speech about how this
this struggle
that you have here
is the sweetest part.
That this you're doing you're here
you're doing this in your community
with your family and friends
because you love it. Not not for any
other reason. You know, doing it for
money, you know, doing it for fame.
You're doing it because there's
something in here that must come out and
and and and it's not going to
This is the sweetest part. And I I I
I hearken back to that sometimes because
because there's a
there's a truth there and you know, no
matter how much good fortune
success
we have in in in whatever the endeavor
is, you know, when you first fell in
love with cooking,
you know, you were just doing it
naively.
>> 100%
>> You're doing it naively because it
brings you joy.
>> Yeah.
>> And and and for and hopefully in our
careers, in any of our careers,
to hearken back to that and and still
find that in our work. Because if if
not, you know,
we're just we're just slogging away.
>> You look like the most insane Diet Rite
ad right now. Like the Dos Equis most
interesting man in the world, but for
Diet Rite and they're like Guys, you're
saying a lot of really depressing
I don't think we want to be associated
with Diet Rite.
>> [laughter]
>> You really need to go to the bathroom.
>> I did a I did a commercial
a demo
a series of spots that were very funny
that nobody ever ever saw.
Years ago
for a
not to be named company in this in the
a regional company in the Southern
United States.
>> Mhm.
>> And I was the wacky spokesman. And this
is like this is like late '90s.
>> Right.
>> We did these very silly spots, very
funny, very clever. Well, then somebody
with the company
was was watching the you know, the first
cuts of the spot and and he and they
went, "Are you kidding me?
That's the Nazi from
>> [laughter]
>> HE CAN'T BE OUR GUY. HE'S THE NAZI ON
[screaming] OZ." AND and they were like,
"Wait." "Oh,
yeah, no. We can't no."
>> [bell]
>> JK, for the final course of your final
meal on Earth, we have
Pat's cheesecake and then we have the
Toll House cookies with slightly less
flour than they would normally be baked
with and this is what came out.
>> When we were living in Michigan, there
was a friend of my mom's that had her
secret
cheesecake recipe.
And and other people would say, you
know, can I have your recipe? And she
would go, "No. No, you cannot. I will be
the person in this community to whom
people come for cheesecake."
But then when we were moving to Ohio,
my mom was like,
>> [music]
>> "Can I have it now?" And she was like,
"I'll send it to you when you move to
Ohio." [laughter]
>> Give me the address to know that it's
real or at least she would commit to the
bit to driving all the way to Ohio.
That's fine.
>> So this is
this is my mom's recipe and I I don't
know if she made any little adjustments
over the years, but as a kid, I was
like,
"Wait a minute. I'm I'm eating sour
cream?
And it's good?"
>> So the top is 95% sour cream, [music]
little bit of sugar, bake the sour cream
real hot and fast for like a couple
minutes and it sets it into a texture
that I'd never had before. It's like
really a cool recipe that we're all
geeked on.
>> All right.
>> This is this is for real.
>> That's good stuff in the graham cracker
crust.
>> This isn't a New York cheesecake. This
is a picture perfect mom cheesecake.
[music]
>> But
>> would you recommend
winning an Oscar then going on stage
without a speech prepared cuz it worked
out phenomenally well for you?
>> That whole, you know, award season,
which I didn't know was a thing until
then. The very first one
>> [music]
>> was the Palm Springs Film Festival.
>> It's Toll House cookie time.
>> Please.
>> And Jason Reitman introduced me. And
when we got there, drove out to Palm
Springs, Michelle and I,
and we're sitting at a table with Jason
and Helen Estabrook and
And so Jason says, "Do you have Do you
have your speech ready?" And I went,
"No."
And he [laughter] goes, "You
You didn't prepare a speech?" And I go,
"No."
>> You're the writer. You're supposed to
write the speech.
>> Yeah, right.
He goes, "Well, I
I really feel like you
maybe [snorts] should do that." You
know, and I went up there and, you know,
the big spotlight and it's just this
giant tent with a thousand people
sitting at tables and
Uh thank you, Jason, you know, uh
and uh
when we were just sitting there 20
minutes ago, Jason asked me if I'd
written a speech and I said, "No, I'm
just going to
speak off the cuff." And he said, "I
don't think that's a good idea." And I
now realize he was absolutely right.
>> [laughter]
>> Um and then I just went
for like 30 seconds and went, you know,
"Thanks for the trophy and, you know,
bye-bye." What I did do the rest of that
award season,
I mean, it sounds so arrogant,
but but that was the reality of what
everyone was telling me. I had I had I
had the opposite experience
3 years ago when I was nominated for
Being the Ricardos.
>> Mhm.
>> And I was like, "Everybody knows I'm
It's just not going to be me. Like, it's
going to be Troy Kotsur. So, I'm just,
you know, I'm going to go kick back and
just be, you know, one of the guys and,
you know, I had a theme in mind for
like at the SAG Awards. Kind of what we
were talking about earlier. We're We're
all supporting actors.
>> Mhm.
>> You can be You can be Brad Pitt. As an
actor, we are we are supporting
the work with the the right the right
the writer.
We are all supporting. So, that was the
theme of my speech for that. And all I
knew was that as the, you know, as the
end of the rainbow with
with the Oscars, I just knew that I
wanted to talk about what's most
important to most of us, I think, to
me, uh
family and um
started talking about Michelle,
which led me to talking about our kids
who were up in the balcony
and uh and
expressing my love and gratitude for her
and and then talking about the kids and
then saying that they are who they are
because they're a reflection of their
mother. And then I Yeah, and then I
just, you know, speaking of that, call
your mom. And then that's what became
kind of a meme for a while. And and and
actually a a very
like truly meaningful. There were I I I
heard stories, some directly about
like families who reconciled because
some 60-year-old bald white guy said
call your mom on TV and and they did.
>> Yeah, the Nazi from Oz said call your
mom.
And they did. I kind of think it's one
of the things where you if you have true
belief,
I think that is the muse that allows
those beautiful words to tumble out. Cuz
it wasn't just call your mom, call your
dad. It was don't text, don't email. And
then I believe the phrase was listen to
them for as long as they're willing to
keep talking. Which to me that
>> As long as they want to talk to you.
>> As long as they're willing to talk to
you.
>> Yeah.
>> But I mean that felt like such a
specific meaningful thing to you. Did
you have any times in mind with your own
parents that you were thinking about
that?
>> It was a general feeling at that time.
As life progresses, if it progresses,
there often is a phase of
uh you know,
some level of role reversal, right?
Where older people
need to [music] be taken care of,
continue to be invested in life, you
know. And and older people
have wisdom and [music] and have a lot
to say. And and sometimes that
tries the patience of the young who are
not long on wisdom.
>> Um you do some wonderful work with your
brother, something called the UBU
Foundation.
Tell me about how you got started in
that.
>> Yeah, my brother David was a is has been
a real renaissance man, teaching,
singing,
composing, songwriting, acting. but the
UBU project grew out of uh of his uh
suicide attempt and his desire to help
empowering kids through
songwriting.
He would do these week-long residencies
and and he would go he would be Mr.
David
and go in there with his guitar and just
break down the the the elements of
songwriting and get kids to talk about
what's on you know what's on your mind,
you know, and what's something that
what's something that makes you happy,
you know, what's something that makes
you sad and you know all the and then
you know anywhere from like second
graders to you know high school kids.
Yeah, and we were Michelle and I were
just you know supporters from from the
outside um with uh you know funding and
you know some connections here and
there. But uh yeah it was it was a a
great project um
for for a long time and it had a
significant impact.
>> Yeah. It's interesting when you look at
your entire last meal as a whole like
almost every dish has a family member's
name in front of it. It seems like you
have such close connections with all of
your loved ones and that that is
something that you hold to be so much
more dear than any amount of you know
success whether it's artistic, monetary,
career, whatever. Uh
>> [music]
>> and your brother told a story in an
interview where after his suicide
attempt you called him and just talked
about Tigers baseball for an hour.
And he said
>> And he was like, "Why are you talking
about shut up with the baseball?"
[laughter]
>> No, he said the opposite that just
having your voice there rewired his
synapses in a way that I think people
really take for granted is just having
that amount of connection and it doesn't
have to be about anything serious. It's
just knowing that somebody's there and I
think
>> [music]
>> you've been there for a lot of people
and you have a lot of people there for
you and it shows in this meal.
>> Well, uh
thank you.
>> Yeah.
>> Um and I and even as a septuagenarian
uh I feel like I have a lot to learn and
a lot of work to do. So,
I'm going to
keep working and learning, [music]
I hope.
>> We ask everybody on the show, what do
you think happens when you die?
>> I don't know.
And I don't have specificity about what
is
>> [music]
>> next.
But I have a great amount of hope that
there is something next that is
mysterious. And my second true
near-death experience,
I was 19 years old. Uh my old friend
Brad Canning, college pal, had two
friends from Great Falls, Montana,
visiting.
>> [music]
>> The four of us went out to the river to
jump off a railroad trestle
and just be young and stupid and have
fun. You know, dove in. Fortunately,
none of us hit the bottom, you know, cuz
we didn't know until the first guy went.
Um and it And just as I get to this kind
of little island kind of in the middle
of the river, the
last kid behind me, who I just met, you
know, we all hear, "Help!" you know, and
you go,
"Ah, you know." And then I turn around
like immediately,
this is real.
With zero training and zero like
literally zero thought,
just instinct.
And I'm, you know, I'm smoking two packs
of cigarettes a day and I don't know I
I've never
trained how to
run run run run run till I can't run
anymore in the water. Dive dive dive
swim swim swim. I get to this guy
and I'm gassed. I'm [music] I'm done.
And he And I
just start to pull him up
and there's like this this like this
whirlpool just
sucking straight down. And um and he has
this
like this look of beatific calm. He
looks at me and he's like,
"I'm saved." you know.
And then, [music] you know, it's like
it's like two hands grabbing both of our
ankles, just pulling us straight down in
this in this eddy.
And and and then and then the panic I
see the panic on his face. And then he's
doing the classic drowning man, you
know,
all over me. And we go down.
I
fight back up, down, fight back up, go
down for the proverbial third time,
and this moment, [music]
that same moment that he had, but in a
different way, this moment of beatific
calm came over me. And I and I thought,
and the thought was like like reading a
sentence in a book.
And my thought was, I remember it
exactly. My thought was, I'm going to
die now.
This is going to be really interesting.
And then, adrenaline, and
you know,
miraculously came up, and you know,
>> [music]
>> we fought our way down the river, and I,
you know, lose hold of him, and you
know,
we end up with the help of the other two
guys running along the shore, you know,
and and a log jam that I was able to
grab onto, you know,
he was saved, [music] and you know, it
all had that ending. But I was I was in
complete acceptance, and just like
curious.
>> Yeah.
>> You know,
it's not a philosophy I'm necessarily
espousing.
It's just a moment I had that was that
was um profound.
>> You ready to get in the lightning round?
>> Ooh, yes. Yes, I am.
>> Who's the one person, dead or alive,
you'd want to share your actual last
meal with?
>> My wife.
>> What song do you want to be played at
your funeral?
>> Whiplash.
>> [laughter]
>> Hell yeah.
>> [cough and clears throat]
>> Who uh who's on your Mount Rushmore of
Ohio State football players?
>> [music]
>> Archie Griffin,
the only two-time Heisman Trophy winner.
>> And the only one on the Mount Rushmore
to congratulate you on Whiplash?
>> Uh yes, with a signed hat.
>> Same hat. Yeah.
>> I'm going to Hopalong Cassidy. I'm going
to go old school.
Randy Gradishar.
And um this is just a novelty pick.
Other JK, JK Dobbins.
>> Yeah, who
>> You You who the Lang brothers called
other JKs. Well.
>> Uh who's your dream eulogizer at your
funeral?
>> My kids cuz they would be hilarious.
>> Who got more beat up during the filming
of Whiplash, you or Miles Teller?
>> I think the whole slapping sequence
which was super fun.
Um
may have begun a a certain a build up
>> Mhm.
>> of adrenaline and testosterone within my
young Miles Teller.
Because when we had the scene where I'm
berating him and I turn my back and walk
away and he like
>> [music]
>> jumps over the drum kit and tackles me
to the stage.
Like a I used to always be like,
"Stunt double, get out of here." You
know.
So, we just he just tackled me like
full middle linebacker tackle on a
hardwood
>> [music]
>> floor
and I cracked two ribs.
It was survivable, but it was uh
you know, I was already old. Dude, I was
old.
>> Well, that mean you're spry. Uh
according to dude law, you'd either get
to kick him in the nuts once or hit him
with a phone book and you get to choose.
I believe in that very strongly.
Um which character is scariest
>> him in the nuts with a phone book? No,
you Sorry, it's
>> it's either you misheard the statute.
You either get to kick him in the nuts
or you get to hit him in the face with
the phone book.
>> So, first you kick him in the nuts, then
you hit him with the phone book.
>> going to be an or situation. It's like
an either or. It's like on a prefixed
menu. It's like or. I think for like a
$10 supplement you can do both.
>> Okay, I'll do both.
>> Yeah, okay, perfect.
Uh which character is scariest to you?
Uh Dr. Fletcher from Whiplash, Nolan
from Invincible, or J. Jonah Jameson
from Spider-Man?
>> [laughter]
>> J. Jonah Jameson's all bark.
Um I mean, I guess, you know, what with
the superpowers and the killing and
stuff. I guess it would have to be
Nolan. I mean, psychologically
terrifying would would be Fletcher. So,
depends on like we were talking earlier,
you know,
which fear is your more intense fear.
>> Mhm.
>> [clears throat]
>> Can you humor me and say, "Were you
rushing or were you dragging?" as some
of your other iconic characters?
Talking Tenzin from The Legend of Korra.
>> I I I had to channel that. That was a
while ago.
Were you rushing or were you dragging?
>> I don't know if that was a decent Tenzin
or not.
>> good, but it just kind of made me think
like what if
Dr. Fletcher is like a kind of wise
Gandalf character, you know what I mean?
It would have been a very different
movie.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Just got to get these kids to learn how
to play jazz. Uh Klaus from Klaus.
>> Don't remember.
>> I think the next one would be easy. If
you want to skip that one, we can go to
the yellow M&M.
>> [laughter]
>> Uh were you rushing or were you
dragging?
>> That's awesome, but thank you for doing
that. Ripped so hard, dude.
Finally, JK, are you happy?
>> Yeah.
>> You seem like a happy man. I think
you've achieved happiness and greatness.
>> Uh
I'll I'll take the first one, but you
know, a million times
over the second one.
>> Fair point. If you want to look to that
camera right there and deliver your last
words.
>> My last words?
Ow.
>> God, he's good. JK Simmons, everybody.
Give it up for him.
I feel truly this was such an awesome
experience, man. Thank you so much
today. Thank you to your entire family
and your hay geographer sister
for providing all these wonderful
recipes.
>> sister is the only one who knows.
None of the Randal and Michelle and
my parents, wherever they may be, were
unaware of these preparations.
>> Make sure you check out JK starring in
The Westies on MGM Plus. You can
subscribe directly from Prime Video. You
got anything else going on?
>> Uh a movie called The Brink of War
that's um
a 1986 story about the the
Reagan-Gorbachev summit and then a
little part in a beautiful movie with
Brad Pitt that's out in September called
The Heart of the Beast.
>> And that's Fight Club two.
>> David Ayer film. Fight Club two. I
kicked Brad's butt.
>> Hell yeah.
>> Hungry for more? Catch up on every last
bite with the last meals playlist at
lastmeals.com.