Here are the top five ways to get rid of your hiccups fast. Number one, hold your breath for 30 seconds. Number two, breathe into a paper bag. Get on your knees and beg the hiccup lords for forgiveness. Number three, drink a glass of water, quickly. Sacrifice your soul to the hiccup lords. Number four, pull on your tongue. The hiccup lords deny your request, you’ve failed. Accept your fate, accept your fate, accept your fate.