Hey, welcome back to Mythical Kitchen where we all gotta eat and sometimes we gotta level it up. Today, Emily Fleming, we will be leveling up five different grilled cheeses. This is your favorite food? Yes. At least one of your favorite foods. I’d say I eat this once a day. You eat once….. I thought you were gonna say like once a week, maybe. Like once a month. No, I eat it once a day. Especially at this office because they got really good bread here. And they’ve always got at least three types of Char Sargento, Sargento, Sargento. I’m a pirate that loves cheese. Sorry, this isn’t Meals of history. I don’t know. Well, no, but I mean part of this is a little bit of recompense, uhhuh for you being on Meals of History because we’ve gotten neat, some really good things, but also really gross things. Sometimes we have to feed you really gross things. Yes. And I never just get to cook you nice food and frankly you deserve it. Thank you for the amount. This is this, because I complained in the last. Meals of history, then we’re gonna take the beef tongue out and we’re actually going to rip off the membrane along with all of the actual taste buds. ’cause that’s what we were feeling with your hand. And then we get to chop up the tongue meats. What did the people on last meals get to eat? So we’re gonna make you five different versions. Of the grilled cheese, each one getting more complicated than the next, and hopefully getting more delicious. But we’ll see if we push it too far. Okay. And you are going to rate them on a scale of one to 1000. Josh’s as established by Ben Schwartz. The first time we ever shot this episode. I give it, um. Uh, 7, 7 5. Josh’s, I like that you’re doing a thousand point scale, you know? Right? Yes. Seven combats sound funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. I have a story about Ben Schwartz. What’s your story about Ben Schwartz? Um, I interned for Upright Citizen Brigade Theater when I was. 19, oh God, in New York. And so I worked the, I was terrible. They had a bad flood in the theater, which was in a basement, and it was my job to let the beer guy in and I went in there and there was like knee deep of water and I just walked away. I just left and went. Didn’t see that. Did Did you ever come back or that was just the last time? No, I just went back to the office and I was like, I let the beer guy in. I just pretended that I didn’t. Anything. That’s exactly what I would’ve done, especially when I was a kid. But as a 19-year-old. Yeah. What do you stand to get? And I’m not getting paid. That’s, that’s paid stuff. I’m not getting going knee deep in some toilet water in the basement of a grocery store. I get, I get that, you know. So sometimes people would come by and visit me at my little desk if they were bored, and Ben Schwartz would come hang out with me sometimes. ’cause I watched a lot of movie trailers. I loved movie trailers. And I showed him. The movie trailer thought Terry Gilliam movie, tide Land that was gonna come out. But he was so nice to me that I thought, surely he has a crush on me. Maybe I should. Do you mistake that often? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. At least you’re honest about it. Yes. And I think Ben Schwarz’s the ultimate man who just wants human connection and that’s what he values. He’s just so you him. Nice. He is. Guy and I was madly in love with him and I asked him if he wanted to like go to a movie later and he goes, oh, I have a girlfriend. I was like, no. Oh, oh God and Emily. But hey, I shot my shot. The she that never sailed. I tried. I tried. That’s all you can do. He wasn’t into it, but man, he’s on the show so much and you, why are you doing that to me? Like it’s just like I have to keep looking at this gorgeous. Talented man who I can never have. He’s, he’s gorgeous, and he is talented, but he’s also just like the best guy I’ve ever met. I know. You know, uh, if you’re watching, which I know you are, um, I. I was blonde, blonde, long hair. I wore flip flops every day in New York City. What the ? No, I like that. I, I was flip flop. I get it. I wore flip flops in New York though. My feet were like in water with rats swimming around and I’m wearing Old Navy Bermuda cutoff shorts every day. And an alternating old Navy tank top in different colors. That’s what I wore every day. Yeah. And boy, were they like this turnip truck he showed up in New York and I’m like, shorts, you wanna go out with me? I got like a piece of wheat in my mouth. I think this is a good, okay, so wait, we gotta talk about the grilled cheese. So we’re doing a classic American grilled cheese. This isn’t like craft singles American cheese, even though James crafted Invent American cheese, which kind of gave rise to the popularity of grilled cheese in America. Oh. Uh, post World War One, which is a fun time Along with that in the invention of sliced bread, which is around the same time, but we’re using a Boars Head American cheese, which is really good. It’s kind of got, like, if you think about American cheeses, just a mixture of like. Cheddar plus milk plus loaf. I never knew what the makeup of American cheese was. I thought that American cheese was just not cheese. Like, it’s like, well, that it’s America legally, so it’s fake like a little bit. ’cause like America did pioneer so much of the industrial food movement, Uhhuh, and that’s what American cheese was. It was like, how do you make cheese more shelf stable so we can get it to more people? Uh, and so that’s what Kraft did. They bound milk with sodium citrate. Uh, and cheese, which allowed it to be pasteurized without the oil separating. So you could be hungover like a champion in New York. Yeah. ’cause there were bodegas and you’d get your bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll. Mm-hmm. For like a dollar 50 and then terrible coffee. Yeah. But it, that terrible coffee set you right. I, it’s like, well that’s donut shops in LA for me. ’cause all the donut shops, they sell like breakfast sandwiches, sometimes. Breakfast burritos. Coffee, you can get like cigarettes, you can get lotto tickets. Mm. You know, to me that’s like Cambodian owned donut shops. Do you get lotto tickets? No. I’m actually really ethically against the lottery. I think it’s just a tax on, doesn’t the lottery help to fund like, uh, you know, college? Yeah. Yeah. Half of it does, but then I think what they should just do is tax rich people instead of preying on the hopes of poor people. This a lottery refrigerator, shut up, do it. And here’s the thing, you’re buying a lot of tickets ’cause you’re doing it from a place of like despair and hopelessness, right? You’re not doing it if you’re like a rich person. Do you buy a lot of tickets? I punched it and it stopped. No, it just stops, uh, periodically. But it’s coincidence because when you hear it buzzing, you’re gonna want to go over and punch it. I, I punched it and it stopped. But if you had just had that thought and not gone over there, it would’ve also stopped. I don’t think so. Do you? I think I have the magic touch. You seem like you would really love lot of tickets. Um, I like. A little bit of gambling. Um, I went to Vegas recently. God, every time I go to Vegas with a guy, it’s horrible. Yep. I can’t go with dudes anymore. I gotta go with my, my girls. I think from now on. ’cause sometimes you go with a guy and he disappears for a day ’cause he. Take that out. Might wanna take that out. That’s what happened. Two. Hey. At least it’s not Reno, am I right? We’ve all been, there’s two weekend ago I went with an old friend and he just disappeared and I was like, where did you go? He’s like, I do wanna keep talking about this, but our grilled cheese is done and this is just your perfect to be continued. This is your perfect. Average grilled cheese. Tons of butter. I don’t like the mayonnaise schmear on the bread. Can we slice it? White bread? Yeah. And I’m gonna, I think grilled cheeses should be down the middle, I don’t think. Not a triangle. No, you’re the guest. I’ll let you decide. But I’m a big, well, I do a triangle sometimes. ’cause that’s what they do in the velv vita commercials or whatever when they do the cold. Um, but I think I wanna do little girl style. Let’s get little girl style. You’re, that’s on my dad. You’re our little girl today, Emily. Well, so grilled cheese is like, this was. A, a staple at my house my whole life. ’cause I was very picky. So it was ramen noodles and my dad chopped up the noodles. I think it’s because he didn’t want us to choke and that’s why he did it. I think those things are just dissolve in your, but they were little tiny noodles. And when it was long noodles, I was like, whoa, where’s this been? This is so much better. Like, but you, the best dining guests are easy to please. We don’t have any problem in noodle. Well then that is a mistake. This is just level one. I agree. Had I known beforehand. Oh, pretty. It’s so spongy. There’s nothing better than that. We got four more shipped over. There’s something better than that. That’s a thousand out of a thousand, Josh. Yeah. Yeah. One. You said that that’s going real high too. You said you were gonna make up a new scale other than Josh’s. Okay. What should I do, Josh? Not Josh’s. Um. Daddy cringes. How them we made up? I’m mommy cringe. Your daddy cringe. So I’m gonna say a thousand daddy cringes as cheese falls outta your mouth. That was bread too. Oh, bread too. I was open mouth. Go flying. Get your girl. That could do both. We started with a really high bar. A thousand out of a thousand CR daddies. Yep. But now we’re going on CDs. CDs as they call ’em. We’re going on to level number two. This is the French version. It sounds fancy. It’s called a K Masu. Ah, love it. So I don’t know if I would technically even call this a grilled cheese. So the way that we kind of figure out there’s not a lot of ham in there. This is very much a cheese sandwich in the ham. Is there just accent it. We have so much ham here ’cause this is just snacking ham. Here, eat it. I don’t wanna eat it. This is jumble qui de I’m gonna hold my, hold my tummy. Uh. Hold my tummy high. What? What? What am I saying? Hold my tummy high. Sounds like a child. Christian rock. Yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t sleep very much. Every time I’m about to come into the kitchen, I get too excited and I can’t fall asleep. Do you remember, this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard go like, you know, like when I was a kid for Christmas? No. I’ll just stay up. Like, like looking at the clock. Mm-hmm. Being like. Ah. And then you wake up your parents at 5:00 AM and you’re like, this is morning. That’s actually really nice. So you feel as excited about me making grilled cheeses as you did like a Christian demigod breaking into your house and leaving you treats. Banging my mom and banging your mom. Is that what Santa does? I’m Jewish. I don’t know exactly what her powers, that’s best song. I saw Mommy Kiss the Santa Claus. Yeah. Yeah. Which it took me a while to realize this. That’s just their dad dressed as Santa and that makes it so cute. And they have a sexually healthy marriage, by the way. My mom watches everything. Aw, well yeah. Maybe you can talk about it. Maybe this will spur an important discussion. Speaking of croaks here. So what do I do? I do see them kiss. They’re very affectionate with each other. They are the standard for marriage to me. Yeah, which is why I’ll never get married. You can never live up to your parents. No Uhuh. I think that they’ve really. It’s just, I’m very romantic about that. Those, that’s the standard. Also. Ain’t nobody like my dad, there’s nobody, I actually think that one of the reasons I so badly wanted to get married and have kids Yeah. Is because I had such a low bar set for me by my parents that I was like. Oh, if they could do it. And I, I’m so glad that I was born. I do think there’s something to people who have like a perfect childhood, not being able to have stable relationships, and then people who have a tumultuous or like, you know, childhood actually being able to like, go out, like make a stable relationship, like have a good partnership and then want kids and everything. I do think that I turned out okay. Don’t answer that. Um, I really, that I think you have a lot to be proud of. Let me tell you, I can’t believe I’ve made it here and didn’t get like meningitis from wearing flip flops in New York. I was around a huge meningitis outbreak too. I had a big fear man. Collagen UCSB 2011. Do kids are getting limbs amputated. I heard about that. Yeah. So I, I was there and UCSB and everyone was touching on each other, you know what I mean? Well that was also staph infection was a big thing at my cup. I got staph. Yeah, you did. Where? Uh, my knee, no, I fell off a roof during Halloween and as a joke I was like, ha ha, let’s get this, got roof. Staffed. What? Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, it was also, uh, it was also, uh, Milwaukee’s best light staff because I tried to clean it with beer thinking it was funny. Oh no. Like, oh, it’s like vodka on a cut, but no, it was beer. What’s the worst medical maldy you’ve gotten? Uh. A hernia. Oh yeah. We’re both, we’re both survivors of hernias. Yours was probably ’cause you were really like pushing yourself. Mm-hmm. Mine was, ’cause I’d never lifted weights before. And then when I was playing volleyball, she was like, all right, it’s time to do bench press and all this stuff. And I’m like, I don’t know how to do that. And I got a hernia, but I got out a preseason like. Hell workouts for sophomore year. So it all worked out. Oh, it was great. I got, I got an audio recording of, um, air being squeezed outta my scrotum, like a whoopi cushion. Where’s that tape roll? That I don’t have it. I, I was making a joke to my surgeon ’cause he described the process to me, but my God, no, let’s get into this. We’ll see, because we can, we can wait here. So what they do is, um, we don’t police appetizing conversations on the show ever, by the way, for a man, because your testicles start up inside the body when you’re young. Oh. And then they descend through. So there’s still kind of little holes where they descend. When you’re a child, that hole stays there, and if your abdominal lining slips and intestines can slip in there. Oh, so your intestines end up in your scrotum, which is not ideal for life. So that’s what happened to me. Yeah. And so what they have to do is they have to actually inflate your scrotum. And this is just valuable mental, this is one of the top five most common surgeries that men get. Oh, and so they inflate your scrotum, uh, just so you can see better like a balloon. And then they, um, they go in there and they just kind of shove it back up and they put a net in the hole. So they did that and they actually fixed both sides for free. So that was pretty big for me. That’s great. I, the guy was like, Hey, the other side, just in case I just put a little net in there, I was like, thanks doc. I really wish the camera could catch the two men. Crouching on in the floor. Like, like terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so check this out. So, so then I, I’m trying to make a joke outta this to deal with my own, you know, uh, scared nature. And I’m like, Hey, when you inflate the scrotum, when you like deflate it, does it make a silly little noise? And the guy goes, yes. And I go, can you record it? And he goes, absolutely. Not that, that’d be unprofessional. And then I’m like, that’s fair. That’s fair. Ha ha, ha ha. I’m very scared. What year was this? 2018. I was working at Myth School at the time. There was a week where I only wore shorts and had to sit down a lot that was recovering from my hernia surgery. And then anyways, so after I get the surgery, I wake up and he goes, ha, dude, check this out. And he plays a sound for me. That’s just like. And he goes, I recorded it. And I was like, ah. Oh my God. Super cool dude, though I didn’t know that you got a hernia while you were working here. I figured it was while you were like in college. I’m gonna close this up. Boom. Um, we’re gonna griddle this off. Um, but yeah. And so. That was, that was it. That was my hernia. So right now the Grier inside and, and the bechamel should be kind of melting together, forming almost a cream sauce. Just a little bit of ham in there. ’cause I agree that the difference between a grilled cheese and a melt has to do with like the ratios inside. Okay. I think if it’s still a 70% dairy or cheese to other things, dairy ratio. Correct. I think, I think it’s still a grilled cheese. Notice how I completely disregarded that and kept talking about what I wanted to, and I didn’t let you go. I didn’t let you have that. Are you, do you paint? No, I don’t. Why? I bet you’d be good at it. I don’t think so. I think I, uh, I think I have like a learning disability where I can’t imagine things in my head. What does the voice in your head sound like? Uh, you know, for a while it sounded like comedian Pete Holmes. No way. Yeah. He’s got a great voice. He does. And he, Pete Holmes was the voice of my consciousness for years. Mine is me, but like really stressed out. It’s just like, ah, too many thoughts. Can you just focus on one, like, one thought, but usually the thought that it focuses on is negative. Yeah. It’s always negative. That’s the thing people don’t realize about hyper fixation is that you hyper fixate. You don’t have a choice. It just goes wherever it wants to go. Yeah. And then you can’t get out of it. Yeah. I don’t control my own emotions and thoughts. You’re stuck in the fixation, but you know what? I can’t control good stabilizers. Highly recommend control. Yeah. I’m gonna, I’m gonna actually get on that. Oh, real soon. Oh God. The stabilizers has changed. Wellbutrin? No, I take Lamictal. I’m gonna put this in the broiler. So we got the bechamel in the GR era in there. Gimme a sec. But I wanna get back to this conversation. We got our croaked mascara fresh out the oven. Oh right. So we initially put it in in a frying pan, and then the broiler was taking too long. Then realized, oh snap bomb’s gonna burn. And so then, and then we actually burnt the bottom. Burnt the bottom. We fully reme it. But before, before all that, we were talking about mood stabilizers. Mood stabilizers. I also take an antidepressant and I, it took me a long time. I was resisting that, ah, bitch, we’re good. Um, but, ’cause I thought guys who got the cheap boil. The hell is this Uhoh? Okay, we have it. I think there’s no metal on it. Gonna hit it with some chives. Oh, chives. I should’ve garnished with TA on. That’s the tiniest little chives I’ve ever seen here. We got it. We got our croaked syrup’s with ine chives. Let’s, do we cut this or do we eat it with a knife and fork? You supposed to eat it with a knife and fork, but I’m American, so I believe in eating everything with my hands. Yeah. The Americans and the Bangladeshi were like that when it comes to eating some friends. Are you just gonna open it up with your hands? I was just gonna grab it part it like it was a, like I was a cave woman. Are you one of those people that’s like, oh, I was born in the wrong era. I should have been a cave woman. No. Okay, look at that. All right, let’s check for the foil. I think we’re good. One. Apple teeth. Oh my God. Oh no. We’re gonna have to extend the numbers. This is so good. But I still don’t think it holds a candle to the original. Gosh, some people on the internet find me very crafted. I know, but not when you do that. I’m gonna give this one 900, I’ll take it, but do you think we could just cut off some zeros and call it like a nine and a 10? What, Emily? Are you from Tennessee? I sure am. I’m the only 10 you see? Yeah. Now I was gonna say most men rate you as seven or eight outta 10, and I think very, I’d say a solid seven, which I’m fine with. We’re making Nashville hot chicken. That was not a comment on your appearance. I think you have a lot to offer in romantic. I don’t care. The comments, do whatever they want. We’re making a grilled cheese inspired by Nashville Hot chicken. We didn’t want to put a whole piece of chicken in a grilled cheese, and it’s no longer grilled cheese. So we’re like, how do we get the essence of hot chicken inside a grilled cheese? So what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna fry only the skin. This is amazing. I’m gonna chop it up. I’m gonna add that to a Nashville hot oil, and then we’re gonna add that inside just a little bit of collard greens, okay. In there. Love it. Just to kinda add a little bit of complexity, some of that porky flavor in there. I’m glad to know that that’s collard greens. ’cause I was like, are we eating a forest? Like what is that baby root I’m, this is like a KFC double down if like, you know what I mean? I thought you were gonna use this as the bread. No. Oh God. Just straight chicken skin, chicken, skin tacos. Uh, so we’re just gonna flower up the chicken skin right here. And the flowers just seasoned with Tony Sash, who’s greatest conant in the game. I was breaking my habit of Celsius. I was being very good. I was even bragging in this room to people about it really was. And then I started hitting a wall and I was like, like, you better gimme that Celsius. Oh no. As much surface area in here possible. Also, you know, we used to do this pretty fun bit. For a couple episodes where I’d talk to Dylan. Yeah, keep, keep that up, Dylan. If you, if you had to be an animal in the next life, like what would it be? Ada, what the hell is that? An ox lot. Dylan. Tell us what it is. Am to a little guy that swim. Yeah. Always a smile. All right. I take that back. I like that answer. Oh, that thing. That thing is cute. Cute. Okay. All right. I’m gonna add. Okay, Dylan, a bunch of cayenne pepper chili powder. Garlic, onion, brown sugar. Ooh. In here it’s gonna be our national hot base. Pretty classic. What kind of butter have you been using? It smells so good. Land O’Lakes. Land O’Lakes. What the hell does land O’Lakes mean? It’s a land or a lake. I’m guessing It’s a probably made from like, I don’t know. What do you mean land of lakes? So, uh, Minnesota’s called the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Oh, it’s a land with a lot of lakes. Yeah. Sorry. Okay, cool. Well I’m gonna pull the chickens again. Okay. So we’re gonna start building a sandwich. Now. We got just some classic country white bread here. This is Aleppo pepper Jack. You should try it. Okay. It’s really good. Just a wonderful cheese. I love pepper jack. Dude, same. Well I, no, I don’t like it. I can’t go back. I have to go back on all the things I said. I don’t like it. Okay. Alright. This is, this is a really good cheese, but I do think that you should just use a good cheese and then put whatever peppers you want. Okay. On it separately. Look at that. We got the Aleppo jack, we got the sharp cheddar, we got the greens. We got the fried Nashville hot chicken skins. This is gonna go right in that pan. We’re gonna griddle this off and then brush it with Nashville Hot grease. All right. This is nice and melty and crispy. Haven’t plate it at, but Emily, we’re not done yet. What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take. Some of that Nashville hot grease and we’re just gonna paint it. Dang. Right on the bread. See, I think you would be a good painter. Yeah. I don’t know. But I think it’s, it’s about what to paint. ’cause I can paint grease onto a sandwich. That’s an interesting thing. Right? I like to paint things that people made with AI because they stole those things from other people, so they didn’t actually make the art. So I steal from them. And that’s real Art is just to live in your own apartment as you go. Ha ha. To some schmucks. Yeah. I made it. Oh my God. National hot grill cheese. God, that was in my face. Are we slicing this like little girl style? No, this is, this is big, big man. Big girl style. Uh, the kids are saying the phrase big back now. Do you know what it means? Does it mean you have a big butt maybe? Uh, Damien Yes. What’s big back mean? Oh, our, our, yeah. Big butt. Big butt. Yeah. All right. I love that. We have a resident young. Oh, dude. Wow. Wow. Okay. That’s something that chicken skin with a national hot grease. This is gonna be very silly. I can’t see. I can’t see if I’m blind. What’s the word? That is a 980. You know, life is good. We get to make silly foods with our friends. We do this as a job. I can still find ways to complain about it though. Do you have any idea what any of this is? Do you have any guesses as to what we’re making? Nope. But what is that? Is that wine? That’s wine. You can drink it. Try it. I can. So this is the wine called Madeira. It’s actually like kinda one of the oldest wines in America. And that should actually give you a little bit of a clue because we are. Making a grilled? No, not in the made the Madeira Celsius colada. Um, we are making a grilled cheese that is inspired by a historical dish that you and I have made. Try that. Um, this is, this is the new Gator wine. This is CELs wine. That’s nice that I know. It’s not bad. Good. Damn. Here’s the thing. You add liquor to most things. I’m gonna like it. You’re gonna add some shallots in here. Okay. What do you think the best dish that we’ve ever tasted on Meals of History is? I mean, it’s pretty hard to beat the first one. Like Titanic, that that pate on top of the steak Yeah. Was like crazy. It was so good. This was that kinda like delicious like sauce that was made with like a fortified wine, like a Madeira and shallots and butter. It was crazy. Th and, and you mentioned the pate and Yeah, it was actually, oh my god. Put in a grilled cheese. I can’t believe it. I, that was one of the best things. You knew I was gonna say that. No, I didn’t. I was worried. You’re gonna say five other things. That was amazing. Also, look at this tiny little whisk. I love it. Call it the Babish whisk. It’s tiny. Oh wait, I gotta get my tiny fork. I gotta get your tiny fork. Okay. I’m adding the skins of the truffle ’cause right now we are building a Madeira sauce because I wanna serve this. We haven’t done like any tomato soup with the grilled cheese. She’s climbing. She’s a climber. And so I’ll, I’ll just tell you, I’ll tell the camera. No, they’re both fixated on her. Who’s, who’s looking at me? Taylor, you’re looking at me. So, anyways, this is a tornado rossini inspired grilled cheese. So we’re making my, we’re making like a mounted fortified blee sauce with pate. It’s not fo gra ’cause they illegalized it in California, even though I’m pretty against the illegalization. That’s totally fine. Uh, geese have no gag reflex. It’s all, that’s all I’m gonna say about that. So we’re gonna deglaze some Madeira wine here. That’s all going great. Don’t be alarm. I’ve gotta, I’m like, I’m like shielding the fork like it’s my daughter. Let the sugars on that Madeira wine cook off a little bit. This is gonna, where did this come from? What? This little fort. I actually had no idea that was there. You just knew that was there. Is this from the American Grill Doll store? Do you just want to eat a cube of pate while you wait? No. All right. Fair. I’m gonna drop just a couple cubes of pate. So this is just emulsified liver with other fat, which is gonna be great in that sauce. Okay. And then I’m just gonna kind of let this get a little bit of creamy. This is gonna be like a dipping sauce for the grilled cheese. And then we actually have veal demi gloss, which is just. Veal bones that have been just reduced down until it basically becomes meat. Jello, I’m really excited about this. So we’re just gonna let this reduce real quick and then we’re gonna add some fun cheeses to this bad boy. Ooh. Okay, so we got some mi mullet here. I’m loving this bright here. Try this orange situation you got going on. Yeah, so mi mullet, it’s a French cheese and one of the few French cheeses that’s actually gonna be this like orange, and that’s just colored with an auto. All cheese is white, some cheese is slightly yellower based on the type of grass that the cows eat and, and the the season. That’s amazing. Me mullet as a way to kind of like stiff, the Dutch mullet, me mullet. Two and a half, three years ago, I had this haircut and nobody told me how bad it was. Nobody, and I blame you all. It was bangs that went into like it, it was so bad. It like a bowl cut from here around and then it was just. It was bad guys. I thought that I looked chic. And then we’re also gonna use a triple cream brie. You know Justin Brie? Whoa. Yes. I love Brie. I went to Brie Larson, the Hollywood, uh, forever Cemetery recently, and had a picnic with my front watch shirt. Oh, one moment please give it. I want half. Oh. Oh yeah. Ah. Hell yeah. Wow. God damnit. That’s good. I brought a picnic with my friend and we had Brie and we had raspberries, and I fed squirrels, raspberries from my hand. That’s pretty cool. I know the squirrels in LA are ballsy. Little shit. I don’t know why they’re like this. I think it’s ’cause of COVID when there weren’t people around. All of the birds and the squirrels were like, this is my land now. This is my Land O Lakes. I’m a goddamn pee. About my beep while he is doing that, check this out. Oh, so remember we have that nice steak? Yes. So we made it, but then we froze a little bit just so we can run it through a meat grinder. Ooh. But just a little bit. So we’re gonna slice this tenderloin. This is basically what file mignon is made out of. Yep. We’re gonna slice it super, super thin, and then I’m gonna put that into the sandwich. Hold on. We turn this off. Sauce is looking good. I’m gonna strain that. That’s your dipping sauce. Now we’re gonna, Hey, keep telling him, tell him about, uh, the best part of Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which is Chris Cornell’s grave. Chris Cornell’s in there. Chris Cornell’s grave is in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. I didn’t know that. Yeah, I saw a dude, I saw I was gonna do my job and then I don’t want to. Um, Chris Cornell, lead Ring of Sound Garden. And then of course, audio Slave with the band. From each against the machines, we got our miette, our triple cream Brie. Now I’m just gonna put on just a couple slices of beef. I don’t wanna make this sandwich about the beef. I want this to be about the cheese. And then we’re gonna dunk it in that very beefy sauce. Ooh. But I do still want to get a little bit. It’s so pretty. Ooh. Ooh. Look at that. See, you are a painter. Here we have it. Our tornadoes Rossini inspired grilled cheese with mi mullet triple cream, bri croissant bread, thinly sliced chateau beyond fresh truffle, and then a Madeira sauce infused with liver. I’m just gonna give that a nice, oh my god, this looks like a goddamn, it smells so good. Okay, lemme slice this up. Okay. I’m very excited. Ooh, look how gooey. Gimme Oh, no. Creamy. Oh, I’m gonna eat it once without a dip, and then go right in the dip. I’m going dip. Go dip. All right, fine. Go dip. I’ll go dip. Oh. I’m blind. A gun. If you had the bushes. If you had the bushes, I can’t see. I’m blind. I gotta touch grass. I’m in the bush now. Dude. What? What? Oh, listen. The breeds are squirted down my throat. I don’t think there’s enough cringe daddy points to explain. Yeah, what this is like. No, the next one can’t be as good. Should we just not even do the next one? You can cut it. It was such a stupid one too. I’m gonna give this 1 trillion cringe. Daddy Point. I dunno about this. Me neither you. You can already tell it’s getting more sciency here. I know we’ve broken out the ISI whipped cream canister, but what I really want to do is now we’ve been to the mountaintop, and as Nietzche said, when you get to the top of the mountain, what’s left for me For, as Nietzsche said, when you get to the top, as Nietzsche said, when you reach the mountaintop, what is left for me? But lightning. I didn’t think you believed in top of mountain tops. I thought everything had to just be like this. Um, no. We we’re gonna make a grilled cheese beignet. So we’re gonna use the ISI cancer to make them IES beignet. We’re gonna shove a piece of Velv Vita inside of it, so it should be like a burst of flavor. Then we have an eight year freeze dried white cheddar powder that we’re whoa dust on top of the beignet. We’re gonna add a little white cheddar crisp crown. Cute. And then we’re going to put. Uh, Moscar pone and a little bit of caviar on top of that. And then I’m another surprise to you, but right now, I really need to focus. You need to regale them with your best stories. Tell ’em about other comedians that you’ve tried to go on dates with, but they refused. I don’t think I’ve failed at any other one. Who, okay, who’s the most, who’s the funniest comedian you’ve ever banged? No, I don’t think I’ve ever banged anyone. Very funny. I don’t think I’ve ever banged anyone. Very famous. Oh no. I’ve told that story before about how I was accidentally a prostitute. Well, no, it was ’cause I, I did you have, I told you that story. Well, let’s get into, okay, so I typed some, a little bit of donut batter into this. I’m gonna try and get a little bit on top of this and then check this out. What I’m gonna do is try and submerge it in here. And then it’s gonna float up, and then I’m going to give it a little ladle and then I’m gonna give it like a one two ski. Do now gimme Emily one, two. Ski do flip. Ah, ah, we did it. No one believed in me. I can’t see it, so I don’t even, I believe in you, but I don’t even, no one believed in me but me, basically, I went on a date with a guy who was a politician and I, uh, stayed with him in a fancy hotel room. And the next day he left, um, $500 on the nightstand. Oh yeah. Politicians are so used to paying for it. I think he, I know. I was like, that’s crazy actually. I know, but I was, I kind of really liked him, so I was hoping for a second date, but I’ll take $500. Okay. You gonna take the white cheddar powder? You should just eat a little handful of that. ’cause it has a texture of like a shaky Parmesan, but it’s actually an eight year cheddar that we freeze dried. Oh, you know what? I should use some of this time to promote. Let’s do this, uh, the show I have on mythical society. Now I’m gonna take a little bit of this caviar. Do you like caviar? No. Okay. Okay. Leave that that together. Okay. What ha I got one more surprise, Emily. Alright. Anyway, you know how you love drinking at. Please go watch my show on Mythical Society. I love doing it. It’s so fun. And, um, it’s second to third degree members and I always have a cute outfit. It’s a fun thing. Oh wow. Don’t, don’t drink it. So this is our grilled cheese and tomato soup martini. What we did, chef, is we have a beluga vodka and what we’ve done is we’ve, uh, fat washed that with rendered cheddar cheese, fat, and butter. And then we froze it and they skimmed it off and we exchanged who a cheese cloth. And then we did a 50 50 martini, which means it’s equal part spirit and vermouth. So we actually infused the vermouth with tomato soup and then clarified that. So that’s in here. But then we got, I got some more garnishes to put on it. So what we’re gonna do is just a couple drops of basil oil. Y’all, I don’t de deserve all this. Y’all are amazing. Emily. You do deserve all this. This is gorgeous. Thank you, Jeff. Oh my god, this is so pretty. I love these colors together. Actually, should I do a necklace made out of this Also, I have a, a jewelry business called Phlegm Gems. It’s often on Etsy, but I’m gonna try to get a website started up. I just really don’t understand Squarespace. I’m not good at, I’m not good at, at stuff, and I, I’m gonna need some help. Someone’s gotta stand behind me and teach me you know how to do it. V v’s. Gonna help me with my Squarespace. So soon Square, a tiny little grilled cheese. A tiny little grilled cheese. Are you kidding? Are you kidding me? Here we have oh little your baby. Your little baby. Grilled cheese. I need my American grill doll. I need to bring her down here. Can I get her? Okay, I’ll be right back. ’cause she’s got a, I I’m so sorry. This is so fun. Ah, so she’s finally officially lost her, right? Okay. She got here as fast as she can. Look at these boots. Isn’t she rad? She’s so cool. All I know is that thing is gonna come alive and try and murder me, and it’s gonna be voiced by Jennifer Tilly. No. So, um, if you watch my show, A Mythical Society, Emily, have you seen this? You’ll know that the soul of my grandmother is inside this doll. Oh, she’s fine. She’s, you wonder why Zach Krieger makes villains that sort of remind you of yourself. What do you, is he the one who made weapons? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not that old yet. He’s really scared of old women with saggy titties. I think there’s something about his mother in there. Yeah, I’m that sure there is. I think he should explore, but you gotta find something else scary than old women there, buddy. Okay, hold on. I’m making my own janky version. What? I made you stop that old thing. Look, here you go. Oh no. Now you’re gonna wanna soak in the alcohol. Also, I wanna say that Lily made individual loaves of brioche, just so she could slice it. Where’s my tiny fork? And turn it into, we lost your tiny fork. I’m so sorry. Where’s my tiny fork? Oh, no flu. I dunno. She’s losing it, man. I had a tiny fork for you. I probably ran with it and then I lost it. It’s okay. Oh shit. It’s under her leg. Look at this. Look at this. Okay. You gotta, I know your jacket’s kind of tight, girl, but you gotta, I mean, are you kidding? Get that, get it in there. Oh, she’s gotta, anyway, come down here darling. Okay. Anyway, um, okay, so this thing, that’s what I’m supposed to eat, right? I already ate mine. Okay? It’s so delicate. Take a step to the cocktail. Hey, now that’s, woo. Wow, that is intense. I don’t know how you feel about it. To me, this like shockingly really works. I’m glad that that does that for you. What do you think about it? I’m gonna give this a five. Um, hang on, let me Yeah. Eat the liquor soap. Grilled cheese. Dang this, this is a lily, lily cousin’s original. Now that tiny little grilled cheese. I give that one 800, which averages out to, but this, uh, you don’t like it? I think I’m spoiled from the last thing that he say. Yeah. It’s not blowing my mind. It’s not particularly real cheesy. What that, what was that? Yeah, it’s not blowing Felicity’s mind either. I don’t want to have the answer for Felicity. Liz, do you know? I don’t. So in my apartment, I put her on my bed and I’ll like leave her sitting there facing the door. So if anybody breaks into my apartment, they just see this. They just see this, oh no. Now I can’t get this on. Right. Oh, oh no. Someone helped me. So what publicity, sunglasses on, right? Well, that’s been five levels of grilled cheese. Emily, Emily, how you feel after all that? I, um, I want you to know I’m a little buzzed. I’m gonna have to go do my show right after this and it should be a very interesting show, so please go watch that. Um, also. Uh, this is not fancy fast food, but do you wanna know how much this outfit is? Do I wanna know how much your American Girl Doll’s outfit is? Yeah. Yeah. I’d say it’s about $75. It’s for a Doll’s outfit. You know, that was actually cheaper than I thought. I thought, God, I am so bad at money. Check out Emily. Have you seen this? Now on the Mythical Society.