You soggy plonker, you preening rambit, you widdley flum-bucket, you jimminy-crim-cram. As we hurdle towards the holiday season, where my people go eat egg foo young and see the latest Marvel movie while the Gentiles stay home and spend time with their families, I would like to introduce a new Christmas tradition and that is trolling Gordon Ramsey. This is Gordon Ramsey’s famous recipe for Christmas pudding, a time honored tradition that I know literally nothing about. So I plan on making it with 7-Eleven ingredients. Go on then, you preening twit, you lazy sod, you dodgy plonker. I’m coming for your brand, mate. All right, well, we’ve broken the recipe down into three easy steps and you can snag the time codes right there. We also got a full written recipe down in the description. Let’s get cooking. Christmas pudding, what is it? I really have no idea. I don’t know how British people use the term “pudding” because there’s Yorkshire pudding, but also you can’t have your pudding until you’ve eaten your meat. But also maybe all desserts are pudding, but also Christmas pudding and figgy pudding are a thing. So this is actually Gordon Ramsey’s mother’s recipe that Gordon said he was making a “lighter” version of, and there’s a hilariously awkward video of Gordon making it with his mother where she does not seem all too pleased. Steamed. Yeah? Sponge pudding, why are you looking at me like that? Christmas sponge pudding? Yeah, I know. Why? Gordon, if there’s one thing we can really bond over, it’s a strained relationship with our mothers. Come into the Mythical Kitchen if you want to talk. Anywhom, what we’re going to do, this is a steamed dessert and so we’re going to steam it in our pudding base and this is also a mixing bowl that I eat my Greek yogurt out of in the morning. Still smells like yogurt. So we’ve added some butter to that. And then… And then you’ll see, you’ll see. Gordon Ramsay typically adds bay leaves to the bottom of it, which I think is actually a really good move. Bay leaves in cake are a really fantastic combination. Hownsever, they do not have bay leaves at the old 7-Eleven. What they do have – Rips. It’s like a Sour Patch Kid that got ran over by a Nissan Altima and now these are our bay leaves. And these are going to perfume it quite nicely in a way. We’ll see. So we’re adding… Yeah. Yeah. The fresher herbs selection at the 7-Eleven, not as good as it used to be. I’ll tell you what. They are a little shorter also than fresh produce. I’m a person who buys bananas at the 7-Eleven though, cause like, I don’t know, it’s a nice snack. You need a diet energy drink, get a banana to keep you going. Fresh produce. Orange. Little more yellow than I’d really want an orange to be, but we’re going to add some orange zest to the bottom of this. Again, you’re adding sort of like aromatics to the bottom of your pudding basin. In this way, it’s going to just make your pudding smell like all these things. That’s what it is. You know, “aromatic,” it’s the smelly good stuff. That’s what you want. I’m gonna zest some of the sticker. There we go. There we go. There we go. And now Gordon Ramsay would typically do maple syrup. He pairs his with a whiskey cream. We’ll get to, we’ll get to what we’re doing later. It’s so dumb, we’re so stupid. But anyways, we don’t have maple syrup, so we offered to buy one of the full Torani syrup pumping machines at the coffee station. Dude charged us $16.99 for it and he was not phased. It seems like people would do that often to him. I guess you just – Nothing phases you if you’re a 7-Eleven employee at this point, you know. So that’s pretty chill. And with one of those. What does this taste like? Ah, God! That’s strong! Oh, it’s like a bunch of hazelnuts just invaded my body! So now we’re going to start the base of our batter. Again, like I said, this is essentially a steamed cake. So it’s like, a nice, wet batter. I’ma crack eggs into some butter. Nah, I should probably cream it with the sugar first. I’ma add some brown sugar. They actually do have a solid grocery section at the 7-Eleven. If you ever need to go get a can of Beefaroni, which sometimes you do, you can go get that at the 7-Eleven which is pretty rad. So I’m gonna cream that butter. All right, so we’re going to crack some eggs. Also, they do sell eggs at the 7-Eleven. Ish. Sometimes. I don’t know. Do they? We’re using our own eggs. Sue me. We tried it without the eggs and it didn’t work. I’m not a fraud. You’re a fraud. Also, Gordon Ramsey. Everyone’s like, “Gordon Ramsey’s such a good chef.” Yeah, cause he uses ingredients meant to be in the food and then he learned how to do it. What a cop-out. A real chef would go to 7-Eleven and use Rips and try and steal the Torani and then the guy goes, “You gotta pay for that.” And I go, “Well, there’s no price tag, therefore it’s free.” That’s what a real chef would do. You’re not better than me. That’s like, being surprised that like, LeBron James can dunk. It’s like, yeah, he’s 6’8 and an incredible athlete. He should be able to dunk. If Kevin Hart went up there and yammed on him, I’d be like, “Well, that’s a surprise.” No, LeBron James should be able to dunk. All right. So we’re going to add some eggs and all that. You should add them one at a time, in theory. You know, it doesn’t matter. We’re going to take one of these here hazelnut creamers and then we’re just gonna… take that like a shot because that is a delight and it’ll pep you up in the morning. Nicole, don’t get another one! No, we don’t need it. Here, I’ll put the Torani. Nicole, throw it harder. Throw it as hard as you can. More! Wow, we dumped in one hazelnut creamer and now apple sauce. Healthy snack for children. Buy some apple sauce, give it to a kid or put it in your pudding. How do you open it? Just kind of throw that in there. That was nice. That’s good. It’s going to give you some nice moisture. Actually, adding apple sauce to cakes, I think it’s a very Jewy thing. We do that. I don’t know. Do you people do that? Not “you people” but I mean like, that’s like, a very like, central European like, apple cake. Also, it depends on the… I don’t know. Peanut butter, good thing to bake with because it like, tightens things up. We’re just gonna let this whip around for a bit. Next, we’re gonna add our flour. Spoiler alert. We ain’t got no flour. At Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant in London, he’s offering a $370 pre-fixed tasting menu for Christmas. I’ll do you one better. You come meet me at a neutral location in Burbank, California, cause I don’t want you to know where the studio is. I’ll give you a sack of wet ham for eight bucks. The Starbucks of your choice. There’s eight of them in Burbank. We can meet at any one. Sack of wet ham, $8. That’s the Mythical Kitchen guarantee. Okay. We got our wets. We have our pudding basin that has been primed. We primed the pudding. And now we got to make our flours. As I said, we ain’t got no flours. But what we do got, we got individual portions of Apple Jacks. So we’re just going to go ahead and add some of that. This, I like this cause it’s like Froot Loops except it’s only got one fruit and it’s apples. Apple Loops is what they should have called it. Got ’em. So gonna add that to your food processor. Another flour. Granola, crunchy, palm heel strength. Get it in there. And we’re going to add this. We also got De La Rosa Mazapán. De La Rosa Mazapán, I was reared on this because my dad worked at a 99 cent store and he used to steal a lot of candy and then he would give it to me. And this was my favorite candy that he stole. If you can’t tell, yes, I do come from money. We’re going to take… This is really good. It’s like a powdered peanut in sugar candy. And like, this is the only thing more crumbly in the world than a Nature Valley granola bar. And like, even just unwrapping it is a task to not… Oh, give me some of that sweet, sweet… Oh, mazapán. It’s like that powdered peanut butter that bodybuilders use except it’s like, 90% sugar and it’s so good. But that said, peanut’s got fat in it and so that’s going to work really well in this pudding or so’s I think, to soak up all that liquid from the wets cause we’ve got the wets and we got the dries. I’m gonna keep crumbling some of those little bad boys in there. Gee, these are so good, man. You guys eat De La Rosa Mazapán? Yeah. Yeah, this mainly used to be a California 7-Eleven thing but boy, am I glad they had it. All right. Pop some of that in there. Okay. Okay. Now we’re gonna flip… Shoot. Big and batter. They ain’t got this 7-Eleven. I want this thing to actually work, so like, bear with me. Bear with with me real quick. Nope. That ain’t it. Well, I’m still gonna put that in there. Oh, there we go. All right, so we’re just going to buzz this up. And then we’re going to kind of mashed it around with our wets here. Butter and eggs and cream like I wanted them to. That’s okay, we’re steaming it all together. Who cares? Give it a little shake. You want all that granola to be buzzed up. I want more Apple Jacks in it. We got apples in here, we got a hazelnut running as a thread through both so this is kind of like an apple hazelnut Christmas pudding. You’re seeing the flavor combinations work. Those are two things that I enjoy together. I think it’s going to work. I think it’s going to work out. I think it should be rad. I think it’s going to be better than Gordon Ramsey’s. Also, he just started a production company and now I realized that like, I really can’t pitch that guy anything after all that I’ve done. GG, Gordon, you win. Not that you didn’t already win with your like, hundreds of millions of dollars, you know? But like, yeah, I’m proud of what we do, but like, what are you gonna do? When I start my own chef-driven protein bar and male lingerie company, Gordon, we’re not gonna buy… You’re not going to get a sponsorship from us. Well, the whole idea of it, it’s based around denim thongs. We’re calling them Jong’s. But it’s like, it’s sexy, but it’s still like, tasteful. Like, not kind like, you know, not like a male gaze kind of thing. It’s like a, you know, it’s like, for you, It’s for your own… But again, only dudes. Okay. So now we’re going to go ahead and mix the Apple Jacks in there. The thought of denim up your butt crack all day, that was nice. And we’re gonna mixy, mixy, mixy. I know what you’re saying. Josh, this looks like slop right now but nope, not cause, not again, cause we’re gonna steam it in a steam slot. We’re gonna make a steam slot. Yeah, this is the right order of operations. Let’s figure it out. So we’re going to dump all of our slop on top of the Rips and also the orange zest and the Torani. All right, so I got the pudding. It’s going to rise in there cause we got a little bit of baking powder in there. And now what we’re going to do, we’re going to take a little piece of parchment paper. This is so it doesn’t stick and so you can unsheathe it nice and beautifully because presentation matters. You eat with your eyes first. And we’re going to take foil and wrap this to create an airtight seal. So that way you’re not getting the water in there. It’s just going to be all of that indirect heat from the water. And then now we’re going to… Hold on. We got a little thing. Got a nice little quiche tart cause you know how much quiches we make in the Mythical Kitchen. And so we’re going to take this and we’re going to add it as like, a little podium. Ow! The water’s hot. Fudge! Well, now it’s just floating. But what we can do, we can like, yeah, we’ll mash that down and then we’re gonna take a weight, we’re gonna take a bacon weight we’ve wrapped in foil. We’re gonna pop that on top of there. And now we’re going to take a bunch more foil. We should have just like, bought a honey bun from 7-Eleven and eaten it in our cars like God intended on Christmas. That’s what God… It’s in the Torah, actually, what God wants you to do, like, “Grab a… treat yourself, grab a honey bun. Don’t even wait until you get home. Just eat it in the car. Get an Arizona Iced Tea, get a Mucho Mango. You deserve it. You’ve been good.” All right. So we have it all wrapped up. We’re going to let this steam for about two hours. But of course we have some fine garnish works to get to. Reckon we got everything we need to finish off our Christmas pudding. Let’s take a little peeksy here. This has been steaming for about two hours. Let it cool down just a little bit to try and set up. I’m just gonna rip off that stupid foil. Take off the parchment. I mean, it looks like a pudding. Might’ve collapsed inside probably on account of we used Apple Jacks instead of flour. But again, that’s what separates me and Gordon Ramsey cause he’s afraid and I’m not. So let’s go ahead, do one of these bad boy maneuvers. Ha! Flip it. The power of Christ compels you! It’s Christmas, birth of Jesus. He was born in the spring. So describe the weather in the Bible. Ain’t got weather like that. All right, so the Rips stuck a little bit but that’s cool. Sometimes the bay leaves… And we just got to put that, it’s kind of a little melty. That’s okay. No, no, no. We planned for this. It smells like pure… It smells like a candy factory just lit on fire. All right. Piss off! That’s what Gordon Ramsey yells at people. Garnishes, what we’re going to do, we’re going to make… Gordon Ramsay made a whiskey cream. They don’t sell hard liquor at 7-Eleven. Disregard this Everclear, that’s from my personal stash. So what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna make a little BuzzBallz whipped cream. Also, we took an entire Four Loko and we reduced it down in a pot, which that was a heck of a smell coming from the kitchen yesterday. God, that is a throwback to the high school, I mean, college, I mean, adult days. But we’re going to make a… You’ll see, just watch. I’m going to take this and pour into a blender. This is melted vanilla ice cream. And then I’m going to take a bunch of Coffee Mate non-dairy creamer. What is the dairy in this? Can’t tell. I thought I’d be able to tell. And we’re gonna dump a whole lot of that in there. It’s just to thicken it. So make it nice and thick. And then, cause Gordon added whiskey, and so what we’re going to do: BuzzBallz! If you’re not familiar with BuzzBallz, looks like a single-serve tennis ball can except you drink out of it and it is violently green and the last time I drank it was at a parking lot in Middletown, New York on December 17th, 2013, pre-gaming The Hobbit II: The Desolation of Smaug. Benedict Cumberbatch, this one goes out to you, baby. We’re just going to add a little bit of, I’m not going to drink it. Wow, that smells like just you melted Jolly Ranchers with vodka. Little splashy splash there just to lighten it up. Now, what do you think it’s going to turn into? No, we didn’t like, test any of this out. We’re just gonna… I don’t know. We’ll see. Something’s going to happen. Might need more creamer. Tastes like Vans Warped Tour. Anyone else? Lokos and Warped Tour? Fantastic pairing. Looking a little thin, looking a little thin and somehow thinner than we started. So what I’m gonna do, what I’m gonna do… Hold on. We’re going to add more dairy per dairy which should thicken it. And then I’m going to add a couple of Apple Jacks to it. No, mazapán, mazapán. Where’s the mazapán? Do we have more? Here’s the thing. Gordon Ramsay, in this moment, he wouldn’t know what to do, but me and my trained eyes as a chef, we know to get more mazapán. Where is the mazapán? You soggy plonker, you preening rambit, you widdley flum-bucket, you jiminy-crim-cram, you bog wobble, you hob flob, you slag muncher. We’re hoping the peanut power of mazapán can thicken this. Ah, a couple. This is going to be weird, man. That looks good. This is going to taste good cause all the ingredients we put in it taste good. You know, you got the hazelnut syrup, you got the Rips. Everyone loves a good Rip candy. You got Apple Jacks. That’s a delightful cereal. Single fruit-flavored loop. And… Now we’re cooking with gas! It’s still pretty thin, if I’m being honest. Hey, they sell Reddi-Wip at the 7-Eleven? Hold on. It’s kind of the texture of eggnog now. It’s a crème anglaise. Spill it around the Christmas pudding. Hold on. Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay, beautiful. There we go. Now we’ll serve some of that on the side and then I’ll take some of our Four Loko syrup and we’re kind of just going to hit it with that. Beautiful, beautiful, lovely garnisher, Josh. Thanks, Josh. And one more thing that we gotta do… I’m saving that one. It’s Friday somewhere, right? Annalise, you got Life queued? Yeah. All right. We’re gonna, Gordon Ramsay lit stuff on fire cause it tricks people into thinking you’re fancy when really you’re just an unnecessary, risk-taking edgelord. And so what I’m going to do is, here’s a little bit of one… Or what’s it called? Everclear? We’re just going to add that to the thing and I’m going to light it on fire and then I’m going to pour it on this thing and we’re going to shut down the lights so it looks really cool. We’re adding dubstep in post, right? The prestige! That’s it. That’s all. We made it. We did the Gordon Ramsey Christmas pudding we made from 7-Eleven ingredients. Looks just like his. All right, so we lit it on fire. I added a little bit of whipped cream and then we hit it with that Four Loko syrup and now we’re just throwing some Apple Jacks on it and there you go, there’s Gordon Ramsey’s Christmas pudding made with 7-Eleven ingredients. What did you expect? Did you expect anything better? Anything worse? Gordon Ramsey, do you love me? I love you. That’s why I do this. It’s like you have a crush on someone in elementary school, you kind of pester them and annoy them cause you don’t know how to properly process your feelings. That’s what this is. This is a cry for help. All right. Let’s dig in. I don’t know what place to start. I’m going to avoid the Rips because my teeth don’t like gummy candies anymore. And we’re just going to dig in. The texture is nice and dense. Wait, hold on. I gotta show them one thing. So we made Gordon Ramsey’s actual Christmas pudding yesterday just to like, see what we’re up against. I want to taste some side-by-side cause like, this looks a little gross. This don’t look too much better. It’ll… Yeah, it was just a metaphor for British food. It’s kind of like wet steamed goop. It tastes pretty good. No doubt in my mind. Oh, that’s the Everclear. I got a really bitter bite. That’s the Everclear. But hold on. Hold on, everyone shut the S up. Cake for cake, pudding for pudding, if you will, in Plonker Land over there, this is not much different and it’s pretty freaking good. The things that throw you are the sour. That said, the mazapán and the Apple Jacks actually give this a better texture overall than Gordon Ramsey’s real Christmas pudding. If you look at it, I mean, like, take a slice out, it ain’t much different. It’s the same. It’s just steamed goop. All British food is steamed goop. It might as well be from a 7-Eleven, you know? The cream’s weird. Not gonna run from that fact. The Four Loko just tastes like poison. Your body wants to reject it. But all the other parts of this, this is a delight. We did it. Gordon Ramsey, we win again. We stay winning. You might have your empire and hundreds of millions of dollars, hundreds of millions of fans that adore you, a family that you love, but you know what we have? A plethora of 7-Eleven’s in Burbank that we patronize and we love them and they love us and I saw one of the real Shahs of Sunset at one of them and he bought a banana, you know. And that’s something you can’t put a price on. Anyways, let’s go spork someone. Christian! Josh? Hey, man. Oh, hey, Josh. You wanna eat some of Gordon Ramsey’s Christmas pudding but made with 7-Eleven ingredients? You know I do. Hey, is this the first time I can pull up a chair during this segment? Heck yeah, dude. I don’t get to sit down very often. Oh my god. Okay, here, you take this and you film me and then I’m gonna film you eating inside your mouth. Dude, your mustache looks sick. Oh, you like it? Did you just trim it cause you had the goatee? Yeah, so it was kind of like, getting a little unneat and you know, just try to spruce it up for Thanksgiving holidays. Can I just get a close-up? Watch the spork, watch the spork. Oh, yeah. That’s nice. All right, okay, so… Wait, explain to me what exactly I’m eating. Wait, wait, Annalise. Where’s the Gordon Ramsey one? Annalise, where’s the… Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a Christmas pudding. It’s a British dish. Oh! It’s made just by like, steaming a bunch of like, ingredients together. It’s like a steamed cake. This is Gordon Ramsey’s original Christmas pudding. Oh, wow. All right. You can give that a taste. Are we getting it? Oh, oh. There it is. Nice. Ooh. I get like, that soft texture first and then it’s getting mixed in with the bread. Ooh, that’s nice. It’s nice, right? All right, so this has been made with exclusively 7-Eleven ingredients, including a whole reduced Four Loko. It’s mostly Apple Jacks and De La Rosa Mazapán. Oh, I love me some Apple Jacks. Let’s do it. Let me know which one you prefer. Ooh, that Four Loko’s cutting through. Yeah, that’s the first thing you get. Brings you back, don’t it? I gotta say, that one definitely tastes more traditional. This one’s fun. It’s fun though, right? It’s very fun. It’s a little… Can I get another one? Yeah! Oh, I forgot I’m feeding you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, get a big bite. Wait, oh, yeah, there’s some sour candies on there. All right, let me make it exaggerated. Cause Gordon Ramsey used bay leaves. There it is. That’s a good Rhett thumbnail face. Oh! Oh, that kicked it up a notch. Right? It’s like when a new Marvel movie comes out and iHop’s like, “This is a Hulk Avengers pancake, there’s some green crap on it.” It’s not great but it’s fun. I would totally buy this at iHop. Dude, that’s the greatest compliment you can pay a chef, is when you say that I’d buy this from an iHop. Your welcome. Christian, thank you so much for being a spork man. Thank you. Thank you so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes for you every week. We got new episodes of our podcast A Hot Dog is a Sandwich every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Hit us up on Instagram @mythicalkitchen with pictures of your mythical dishes and don’t forget to tag Gordon Ramsey and call him a plodding, sopping wag-wumper wanker. Thanks. See you all next time. The Mythical Kitchen’s favorite way to obliterate garlic, immortalized in T-shirt form. Get the Palm Heel Strike Tee now at mythical.com