Hey, welcome to My Face, where face becomes face. All right, so I don’t get the chance to reminisce a lot. Things move really fast around here, and we’re always working on new stuff, but as the year comes to a close, and we take some time to recharge we’re gonna flip back that old YouTube scrapbook, and rewatch some Food Fears. This is the show where I make something you hate taste great, and we had a grand old pec-poppin’, tattoo-promising time. Anyways, as we work on getting more episodes out to you guys, enjoy a few of my favorites. Oh, it smells like a wet dog. Yeah. Welcome to Food Fears, where I make something you hate taste great. You might recognize my guest from his appearance on Lopez Tonight. It’s Link Neal. Okay. That’s how we’re gonna start this. Have you done other things? I’m really only familiar with your Lopez Tonight. That’s the last thing I remember. Well, thank you for being here. You may or may not know what you’re in for a little bit. Whenever you and a food helmet are involved, I get nervous. So I’ve watched you gag and spit up on so many foods over the years, and I really hope you don’t gag on the final dish I’m about to make you today, because we are eating. We’re eating, it’s penis. Yeah, we’re eating penis. That is, that is a, that’s a wiener. This is the wiener from a bull, so it is technically kosher, if you’re worried about that. Why is it rolled up like Fruit by the Foot? That’s what all penises look like. So you’ve eaten penis a lot on the show. Josh? What? Okay. You know what? Yes, that is what all penises look like. Okay, so you’ve eaten penis a lot of times on the show. You’ve never seemed to enjoy it. You seem kind of scared of it. What about the penis scares you in particular? Mine even scares me. Have you seen it? No. That wasn’t an offer. Well, oh man, look at that angle. The more angles you look at it, the worse it’s gonna get. Yeah. It’s just not the thing that, it’s not the thing that when you’re hungry, you find yourself craving, at least not me. That’s my goal. I am hoping to get you to fall in love with the penis, but first we need to try the penis’ pure, raw form, so let’s simply- Okay, just keep saying penis. When I was a child, I called it a pito. A pito? If it would make you more comfortable, I can say we have to eat this boiled pito right now. You’re saying we’re gonna eat this? Yeah. I need to get a flavor profile to know how to build the flavors in my dish to try and get you to love this, so I will try and take a bite with you. That doesn’t make any sense. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. You want me to have the curly Q one? I think you should try the tip. Do we? This is your show. I don’t know what you do. Yeah, we’re supposed to just gingerly touch our tips. Okay. The skin right there, there’s a little bit, some hairs attached, but the skin right there is gonna be your kind of like, filet mignon penis. Oh! It smells like a wet dog. Yeah. This is where pee comes from. That’s probably the reason. I like the way he’s using his tongue with it. It’s, it’s un-chewable. Wow. There’s no way, Josh. There’s no way that I can even- Maybe just try and get the flavor. There’s no way I can describe it that won’t have a double meaning. Yeah, let’s do it. It’s difficult. It’s so hard. It’s so stiff. It’s so hard and so stiff, and that means that I am coming up against some stiff challenges to try and get you to like this. Yeah, I don’t even know how you’re gonna make it dine-able. That’s for me to figure out. If you come back in an hour or so, I’ll have a fully-prepared, beautiful penis dish for you to eat. There’s some right here on my diastema. There are three keys to success in life, hard work, determination, and cleaning your penis, and we’re really only gonna hit that third one today. We’re gonna slice a knife down the center of the urethra to expose it, and then we’re gonna run that under cold water while massaging it to really get any trace of urine out. Now that our penises are cleaned, we can pressure cook them. We’re just gonna toss in an onion, toss and a lemon, salt and a little peppercorn, a bunch of oregano, and then in go our little bouquet of penises. Cook well, penises. And then we’re gonna set that to 45 minutes on high pressure in the instant pot, and then ready to go. I’m not going to be making a traditional pizza sauce per se, but it is a traditional Italian tomato sauce that is typically with a dish called bucatini all’Amatriciana from the town of Amatrice, and so it typically starts with cured pork gel. I’m gonna substitute the penis for the pork gel. It’s very fatty. That gets sauteed in oil. Now that your penis is nice and crispy, you’re gonna add all your aromatics. That means onion right into the penis pan, garlic, crushed red pepper, and then it’s gonna continue to saute for a couple of minutes. You can see that all incorporating really beautifully. That’s one of the best looking penises I’ve seen in a while. Crushed tomato, and then just a little bit of sugar, just to kind of neutralize that acidity, and then this is just gonna cook down for about 10 minutes, and then you have a really beautiful penis sauce to go on your penis pizza. Next up, penis pesto. How many times can I say penis? Find out on the next episode of Penis Penis. My strategy to combat the fatty texture of that penis to hit it with a lot of brightened, herbaceous ingredients, which is why I’m making a penis pesto, and I don’t think those words have ever been uttered in succession in human existence, so that’s really exciting for me. So we’re just gonna start by throwing a bunch of basil, some olive oil in there. We got garlic. We got Pecorino. We got pine nuts, and then just a little bit of lemon for that acid, and then we’re just gonna pulse this. So we’re just gonna dump that into a bowl, and then what we have here is a bunch of bull penis that’s been braised, and just diced up into really tiny pieces. We’re gonna fold that right into there. Yum. The third way I’m incorporating penis into the dish is gonna be via a penis Parmesan powder, which is gonna be actually fried braised penis chunks. They’re gonna turn almost like Chicharrónes, so super crispy, and then I’m gonna bash those up, and turn it into a powder. Combine it with Parmesan, oregano, a little bit of garlic, crushed red pepper, and then mix it all up, and there you got your crunchy garlic Parmesian penis powder. You know, penis powder, just like you’d get at your local mom and pop pizza penis shop, mom and penis pizza pop shop, penis pizza mom and pop pizza penis. Now we just have to make the pizza, which is really strange, because of all the things that we’ve done before this. The final pizza obviously starts with the dough, and I’m kind of influenced by Pizza Hut’s original pan crust here, and so we press it into the pizza pan. Then the Amatriciana penis sauce goes on top. Spread that around evenly, and then we’re gonna take some fresh mozzarella, and you’re going to start ripping it into chunks, and throwing it on there. Stuff in a bag is super-processed. Stuff sitting in water, too much moisture. You bake it, and then a little bit of dusting of that crunchy penis Parmesan powder. Then you top it with your beautiful, bright, penis pesto, and that’s the final pizza. All right, Link, I present to you Parmesan penis pesto pizza. So we have penis that’s been braised, and then actually mixed into the sauce. You can see the chunks right there. We’ve mixed little penis bits into the pesto, and then there’s a crunchy penis Parmesan garlic powder on top. This says penis three ways, all in one of America’s favorite foods, the pizza. So you’re telling me that, like, that big chunk, that big chunk, like, those are cross sections of the thing. Yeah, the pito. There’s penis in the green stuff? It’s chopped up very fine, so the penis actually absorbed some of the pesto. It gives it a little penis flavor pops in the mouth. Yeah. I mean, it looks good. I would have thought that it’s a pizza with like, big, round chunks of onion. Nope. And that’s how I’m gonna think of it. Penis. So- Yeah. I’m gonna say onion. No, it’s just big old chunks of penis on there. They say you eat penis with your eyes first. It’s an old chef’s saying. Who is they? It’s an industry term. All right. So I’m eating it with my eyes first. I’ll go ahead and join you on this. Yeah. We’re gonna go in on this penis together. Let’s really touch our tips. It’s tradition on the show. Tip it and dip it? Tip it and dip it, baby. All right. So I’m gonna, I’m gonna eat this whole chunk of onion. It’s not onion. It’s penis. I’m really focusing on the bread part, like, the crust. Yeah. The crust is very good. Thank you. But that, the big globule of penis. You can definitely tell it’s not an onion. It’s so chewy, but it doesn’t have a bad taste. It’s not bad. It’s pretty neutral. You have some brightness from the pesto. You’re not gonna throw up. I took a- There it is. Took a full bite. And wow do you feel? I feel a bit compromised. I feel a bit taken advantage of, but I don’t feel horrible. You know, there’s not another big, bouncy ball. I can get you one if you want. Thank you. You’re welcome. What is that made out of? What is that? Is it rubber? That? Began as a bull penis made out of rubber. No, a bull penis is made out of penis. But what is it, though? It’s not, it’s not meat. No, it’s not. Can we just Google what penis is real fast? It’s elastic. It is. It’s an elastic rubber. It’s the weirdest conspiracy theory you have, but- I’m gonna eat it again. Please. You’re just eating unfettered penis over there. Unfettered penis is the best kind sometimes. You feel like you’re no longer as afraid of penis as you as you were when you came into this? For the record, I want to say that it wasn’t. I haven’t been afraid of penis. You just said that. I’m afraid of eating penis. And do you feel like you’ve had a change of heart? That crunchy stuff penis? Yeah. There’s several textures of penis on here. You know what? I think I’m coming around to the, to the long dong, you know? Hmm. It’s still kind of the worst pizza I’ve ever had. That’s fair enough, and there’s a Little Caesar’s right over here. Right. Gotta give it to you, Josh. Make penis into a pizza. The penis breath is strong after the pizza. We did it! Oh, it feels so good. I’ve never done this before. It’s the power of Terry Crews. It feels good. You feel manly. Welcome to Food Fears, the show where I make something you hate taste great. Today’s guest is a prolific portrait painter, NYPD Lieutenant, and the best pec popper I’ve ever seen. You can find him on Brooklyn Nine-Nine and America’s Got Talent. It’s Terry Crews. Hey, Josh. Hey man. How you doing? Good to see you. Likewise. Seems like we’re old friends. I like to think of us as old friends. I know. It feels good. We pec-popping buddies. Let’s try it. We did it. I’ve never done this before. It’s the power of Terry Crews. I know, it feels good. You feel manly. So a little bit about how the show works. I’m gonna take an item that, you know, some people may not enjoy eating, and then we’re gonna eat it, and then I’m gonna make a dish that I know you’re going to love with it. Wow. Okay. All right. So about foods that people might not enjoy, I’ve read that you stopped eating chitterlings after you found out what they are. Yeah I did. I mean, I grew up, I loved ’em. We put hot sauce on ’em, and I couldn’t believe it, and I was done. For people who don’t know, chitterlings are pork intestines. That’s it, pork intestines. Especially around the holidays, it would be the turkey, the dressing, the chitterlings. I been eating them for years. I probably was about 14, 15 years old. I was like, “What is it?” Yeah. And later on in life, I learned that actually, pig intestines could be very healthy for you. It’s like good fat. So I don’t know what’s right, man. One day, one thing is bad. One day, one thing is good. Now I’m up for everything. That’s good you’re a dynamic person. You’re willing to go with the flow of anything, and that’s especially helpful on this show. Yes. So are you a cook yourself? I mean, I’ve read some stuff online that like, you can throw down in the kitchen a little bit. I love to cook. I wouldn’t call myself a cook, but man, when I do, I get every ingredient. I sit there with all the little things measured out, just like my own little cooking show, and I enjoy it. It’s peaceful. To put things together, you’re a bit of a scientist. It’s like a painting. It’s like a science painting. It is. It’s so beautiful. That’s fantastic. All right, Terry, you ready to get into this? Yes. You sound so confident. I love it. It’s all I could muster right now. Terry, you look less well than when you came in here. You know what? I am truly all about facing my fears, and today I have to do it. I love that. Well, I hope in your nightmares, you’ve seen turkey testicles before. So they look a little bit innocuous, but these plumped little guy is the testes of a turkey. They’re filled with a lot of nutrients. Terry’s about the nutrients. Oh, man. What’s more nutritious than a testicle? Where all life is born? They’re not turkey testicles. They’re lima beans. Some people call testicles the lima beans of the body. Oh my God. Okay, what are they full of? They got your riboflavin. Yes. Your ascorbic acid. Oh, I feel it. Your casein. Casein. It’s gonna get you pumped. It’s gonna get you pumped. Oh my God. So you say each one of these gonna make me pop my pecs a little bit better? Yes sir. Oh my God. Me and you together, man. Let’s do it. It’s like it’s always been, just me and you. Okay. Oh man. It feels- Yep, it’s a lot more stuff, and we gotta- I can feel it pop a little bit. It was a lot more juice than I was expecting. Oh, my God. Hold it together. That was one of the most awful experiences I’ve ever had. I’m so glad that I got to share that. Oh, but I did it. Oh my God! We did it! Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that. I’m so proud of you. You see the sweat? Oh yeah. It’s glistening. These are how turkeys are born, huh? How turkeys are born. You witnessed the miracle of life in your mouth, Terry. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m done. Now that went to a whole nother nasty level. Let’s go. Hopefully you’re not done, because now is the point of the show where I would typically tell the guest to go occupy themselves for now while cook, but I’ve already done that. I have the dish prepared. So we’re just gonna cut to that footage so you can enjoy, and we’re gonna sit here and chat. To cook the turkey testicles, I’m gonna add some white vinegar to boiling water, and then I’m just gonna drop the testicles in there until they float to the top. We do the old blanche and shock, cause you don’t want them to burst. If there’s a rule in cooking, it’s you don’t want your testicles to burst ever. Look how plump and supple. See, this guy burst, and you can see the nice and squishy insides there. That’s fine. We’re gonna rough chop some of these, and get them butter poaching, and then the ice bath is gonna quickly shock the testicles. Always shock your testicles, and then dry them off on some paper towels. So Terry said that he likes lobster mac and cheese as a cheap meal, and when I think of shellfish, I think of Cajun butter. So we’re gonna go ahead and add our two sticks of butter to the pan, and now we’re gonna make a Cajun seasoning that we’re gonna butter poach these blanched testicles in. That’s gonna combine salt, black pepper, paprika. The key to paprika is you got to go to the cheapest store possible, ’cause they have the reddest paprika, onion powder, garlic powder. There we go, garlic powder. Cayenne, that’s gonna add your spice. Margarine and thyme. Give that a nice stir. We’re just gonna go ahead and give it a taste. Oh yeah. I was gonna start the testicles right off. It’s gonna be fantastic. All right. So we got our butter, nice and frothed. We’re gonna add a pinch of the spices. Then you’re gonna stir that together with a spoon. Don’t want your butter to burn. If your butter starts scorching, you don’t want that burnt, acrid flavor on your testes, and I’m just gonna take a handful of testicles. I might call it a sack full, and then we’re just gonna pop them into the butter, and you can see the butter start to froth, and then you’re just gonna spoon the butter over the testicles. Let’s get all of them in there, add all the testicles to the party. So I’m just gonna take some of that butter. Just make sure to really splash it over the testicles. You might get a little browning on the butter, which is totally fine. Browning is flavor, especially on testicles, and you just give them a little toss, and then while this is happening, the spices are also toasting in the butter. They’re getting so aromatic. You can smell the spermatacore. Is that a little epididymis I see? My epididymis was inflamed when I got a hernia from picking up Red in an episode of GMM. That’s a fun little fact. This is looking beautiful. It’s smelling even beautifuler. So our turkey testicles are done butter poaching. Now we’re gonna incorporate this into the next step. Whoop. That’s good luck. Food Fears! Your favorite dish growing up? I’ve heard you talk a lot about mac and cheese. I call it mac and cheezy. Mac and cheezy. It’s this baked macaroni and cheese that is the ultimate in satisfaction. First of all, cheddar cheese as sharp as you can get it. You want that stuff with a kick, the macaroni, which provides the pasta fulfillment. Like, you know what I mean? I know that face. That’s the face I make. That’s the mac face. Is it umami? Is that what they call it? Umami. Umami. Umami. Umami. Umami! Umami! In Chinese, when you’re hungry, they call it uh. That’s the perfect description- It sounds how you feel. Of mac and cheese. Uh! Uh! So now we’re making Terry Crews’ famous mac and cheezy. This recipe has been in his family for 25 years. His mom used to make it every Thanksgiving, so it used to be a real good comfort food with him. I’m whisking together cottage cheese, sour cream, a little bit of egg, and then a cup of cheddar cheese, and just a little bit of salt. I really like this recipe. This isn’t how I do it, but I think it’s gonna be really fantastic. I think they’re really just gonna be exactly like a lobster mac and cheese, except instead of lobster, it’s a bunch of turkey nuts. And then I’m adding my cooked macaroni noodles to that. I’m also gonna take my butter poached testicles. I’m just gonna add them whole right into the pot, and you want a fair amount of that Cajun butter in there, ’cause I want to really marry the flavors. You know what I’m saying? And then we’re just gonna go ahead and mix that in. You don’t want the butter to melt the cheese, but you do want that Cajun butter flavor along with the testicles. That’s fantastic. I’ll keep those for snacking for later. So you can take a cast iron skillet, and we’re gonna take a little bit of coconut oil, and rub that around, so it doesn’t stick, and it’s gonna create a nice, beautiful crust. Cast iron skillets are great because they hold the heat really well. So anytime I can use a cast iron skillet, I always make sure to do so. That’s fantastic. And then I’m adding the testicle mac and cheese to that, and we’re just gonna floopity floop some of those testes. You don’t want to fill all the way to the top, because this is gonna start bubbling over, and you want to account for some testicle burstage. Never want your testicles to burst, because then you’re gonna have to come in with a mop, and the Costco manager is gonna be mad at you. What the did that mean? And now we’re gonna top it with a little bit more cheddar cheese. You guys, I dumped all the cheddar cheese in there. I was supposed to save some. Nicole, I’m sorry. And Nicole, Food Fears! Thanks. All right, so now we’re gonna take a little bit of extra cheddar cheese here on top. It’s gonna get nice and crusty, and then one more thing. This is straight from Terry’s recipe, a little bit of paprika right on top, and then this is gonna go in the oven 375 for about 25 minutes. Terry, I have a request. If we could play a game, it’s a game that I don’t believe exists, but I call pec pop karaoke. Okay. So the idea is I’m gonna pec pop out the beat to a song. I want you to guess what it is, and then you’re gonna do the same. All right. Are you ready? Uh-huh. Shallow by Lady Gaga? Oh, great song. That’s not it. It was A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. Oh, you gotta do this. ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪ Yeah, yeah. All right. I tried, man. I was, I thought you could get it. I should have done Beverly Hills Cop theme song. I think Shallow was just in my head. If you want to do it, if you’ve got a song, go ahead. Okay, I’m gonna go old school, hip hop right now. I even gave you a little clue. Okay. I don’t got it. I don’t got it. I don’t got it. I’m gonna say Explosive by Dr. Dre. Oh, that’s a really, that’s close. Planet Rock. Oh. Remember. You did your job. You held up your end of the bargain on that. You held up your end of the bargain. A lot of mac and cheese will have a lot of breadcrumbs on top. Instead of breadcrumbs for our crispiness, we’re gonna do a little bit of crispy fried testicles. So I’m simply slicing one in half, and yeah, you can see all that subtle, tender meat on the inside right there. So we’re gonna get a fair amount of that Cajun seasoning into our flour. Stir that up. Now we’re just gonna toss the testicles in the flour. So testicles tend to be pretty wet. Use paper towels to dry your testicles as much as you want. You’re just never gonna get all the moisture off. So the flour should help with that. Just kind of sift the flour through your hands, and then these are gonna go straight into your egg wash. Give them another good toss. Then those are gonna go right back in your flour. You want to make sure the testicles aren’t sticking together. Normally I’d just kind of shake out my leg, and make it look like I’m stretching my hamstring. So I’m gonna go ahead and load my spoon up, and then we have our oil pretty hot, 375. We don’t want to overcook these, and then it’s just gonna go right in there. And since we cut them in half, hopefully they won’t explode. Oh, those are looking great. Oh, you know, they kind of all stuck together. No, one’s perfect. Especially when it comes to testicles. You see a lot of variation in size on here, ’cause one’s always bigger than the other. How’s that macaroni doing? Oh, mac’s looking good. Testicles are looking good. We’re all looking good. It’s funny, ’cause they almost looked like fried oysters. That’s why they call testicles the oysters of your pants. So right when these testicles are ready to be pulled, we’re gonna douse them in a little bit of Frank’s Red Hot that’s mixed with that Cajun butter from earlier that we saved from butter poaching the testicles. Great. A little stir. Actually, a lot of that testicle flavor comes through. There’s a lot of umami to those testes. So testicles, when you fry them, they’ll actually float to the top, which means they’re not gonna get pure oil coverage. So you’re gonna have to flip them. And if the testicles don’t float to the top, you’re gonna know they’re a witch, and they should be burned. Witches don’t float, because their body is weighed down with lots of beebees. So you’re gonna tick these jumbo shrimp. No, these are testicles, and we’re gonna put them into the Cajun butter, and then we’re gonna give these a nice toss to get them all coated. That’s gorgeous. You see that looking like a nice, plump, fried shrimp. So we’re gonna add this to the top of our mac and cheese, garnish with a little bit of chives, a little bit more Cajun seasoning. So you’re obviously a physical guy, you know? You’ve been an athlete, and you obviously keep in great shape. What do you think you can learn about a creative profession from all of that physical training? Do you think it’s helped you? We live in a left brain society, so a lot of times everything is just like mark this down, get this thing going, but the creative side is all loose. Creativity is the opposite of competition. People have always been taught competition is a good thing. In fact, it’s the American way, but what happens is it’s like a sin of comparison. If I compare myself to you all the time, it’ll never be good enough, ’cause I’ll never be you. In creativity, I’m just me, and I can tell you, man, that’s the thing that changed my life forever. I mean, do you still have that competitive instinct that you like, get out with bodybuilding lifting all that? You know what? I would never even call myself a bodybuilder. I stay in shape, and I look how I look. I love to run. I run four miles a day. Most bodybuilders would never touch running as much as I run. I have a thing. In the last 10 minutes of my run, I always have the best idea of the day, and I think there’s something about the blood flow, something that works it out, ’cause see bodybuilders don’t think that way. Yeah. You know what I mean? So now I’m just like, okay, whatever I do, I want my body to be perfect for it. Like, my body is built for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I think our mac and cheese is finished baking, so I’m gonna pull that out of the oven. Oh yeah. That is nice and bubbly. You see an awesome crust, and you got some of that testicle, liquid has now released, and is bubbling to the surface. That’s great. So now all you gotta do is figure out our garnishes. Take a bunch of chives, gonna wrap, a paper towel around it. But shout out to Chris Morningstar, who taught me the paper towel chive trick. Take a wet paper towel, and roll up a bunch of chives. You can ensure that they don’t spread out on you, and you get perfectly symmetrical cuts every time. Chives is gonna add just a little bit of freshness to really counteract those turkey testicles. I think Terry will like this dish, because it draws on his childhood. It’s a comfort food. When people are eating, they want to feel loved, and I’m hoping to transmit a lot of my love into this dish, and also testicles. So now we’re just gonna take those fried turkey testicles, and we’re just gonna lovingly arrange them on top, almost like a bread crumb topping, except not at all, because it’s filled with turkey testiculars, gorgeous. And now for the final touch, sacrilege, offensive or mythical? You decide. Terry, we have the final dish on the table. Do you have any guesses what it might be? Well, I do see little skillet handle, kind of in a pan, baked up good. You’re right about that. What I’ve made for you today, this is turkey testicle mac and cheezy. What? So I’ve used the mac and cheezy recipe that I found online. I’ve incorporated some Cajun butter poached turkey testicles in there, ’cause I read that you also like lobster mac and cheese. Okay. So for me, a little Cajun butter, some shellfish, except it’s actually testicles, and some crispy, fried turkey testicles on top, just for a little bit of crunch. And they’re in there? Oh yeah. If you actually go in and you can see just like- I can see. There it is. If you want to grab that bite, that’s gonna be good. No, no. I’d get some macaroni with the fried ones. That is how, that is the chef’s intention. Just with, okay, a little mac. I’m an artist scientist. Okay. Here we go. Uh-oh. It’s good. Really good. That is really good. That’s your family’s recipe. Without the balls. Yeah, yeah. That is not bad at all. You’re going back in. I’m going back in with you. You actually made it taste good, man. That’s what I’m telling you. What are you- That was absolutely horrible. Are you getting a lot, any of the testicle flavor, or is it just- Just tastes like a pâté, you know? That’s the texture in it, yeah. Would you pay money for this dish in a restaurant? Not with the testicles. Yeah, no, no, I mean that’s not- I would. It’s good, man. Oh, he knows what’s coming when you see the fear strike in their eyes, yep. Welcome to Food Fears, where I make something you hate taste great. Today’s guest is a two-time cookbook author, one of the most extraordinary food tubers on the internet, and the man of my dreams. One of the best torsos I’ve ever seen, Andrew Rea from Binging with Babish. Andrew, welcome. Thank you, man. Coming from the best torso in the biz here. I think we have equally good torsos. I’m looking at you, and I’m telling you definitively that you’re built, you’re cut from a different cloth. That is very nice of you to say. Thank you so much. We gonna hit the gym after this real quick. One of the things I was most fascinated that you said in your interview is that if you could go back, you would change the name of Binging with Babish, ’cause a lot of people just call you Babish. Most people think that’s my actual name. I named my channel after my Reddit handle, which I had named as a joke. So really it’s a joke named after another joke. Have you cleaned up your Reddit history since? I had nothing to clean up. Okay. No, I wasn’t implying anything. Truly and honestly. My shadow account, on the other hand, we don’t want to take a look at that, do we folks? All right. So your channel has obviously enjoyed a lot of success, and this show, Food Fears, and your show are actually nominated for the same award in the Streamy. Yes, they are. I would like to issue a proposal to you. Since you’ve now been on this show, and I’ve never been on your show, the only way for both of us to win is if Food Fears wins. You’re following the logic there, right? I’m trying. So if you would campaign for Food Fears to win, technically, you and I could share the stage together, and I think that’d be like a really nice treat for both of us, right? That sounds fair. Thank you. Yeah. So, you know, what? You know, nevermind. We’ll see you at the Streamy play. We’re not going for Rosanna pants, you know? Do what you want. Gordon Ramsey, he really needs this, you know? Some attention. He needs the spotlight. I asked you that before we revealed what was under the cloche, because I feel like you may not like me as much. What are you about to do to me? Okay. So we have today, it’s actually something you’ve experienced before. Yup. Oh, he knows what’s going on. When you see the fear strike in their eyes. This, you said on this show? Yep. So we have pork blood, but one thing you’ve never had, you’ve only had the solid coagulated version, but you’ve never just straight drank straight, pasteurized pork blood, which I see, you know, you don’t seem happy about it right now, but I think your mind’s gonna be changed when you feel the cold, refreshing blood rush down your throat with the chewy curd. I have to go on stage in like, two hours, man. You’re gonna do great. You’re a natural performer. I’m not performing right now. This is blood that I am about to have to consume. So what you’re gonna do, I washed my hands. Dude, I’m not gonna be able to put away all this. What do I do? Yeah, I mean, you can just, you know, you can just eat the, I think you just eat the blood that’s soaked. It’s kind of falling. Oh, oh no. I got blood on the tablecloth. I’m sorry, guys. Oh, my God. Yeah, you just kind of grab it out of there, and just get it nice and wet with the blood. All right, here we go. I can’t eat the whole thing. Just take as much as you can. What are you doing? Are you doing the whole thing? Yeah, I’m gonna do the whole thing to knock back the shot. I’m starting to regret this. Just gonna go ahead and we’re just gonna kinda, kinda get them. There we go, and then just a down the hatch. Avere la goccia, as they say in Italian. You like pasta. Just. Having trouble. Just once you get it in, it’ll go down. I’ll do half bite. Here we go. Struggle. It is so awful. But like, in a good way? Yeah, no, in a great way. Okay. How did you do that? I think it’s good, man. I eat a lot of coagulation pork blood, but you don’t seem to feel the same way as I do. Oh, God, no. I almost spit that up all over your face. So now that my mouth tastes like, you know, iron, and platelets- Yes. What are you gonna do to make this, you know, something that I actually want to eat? I have a rough plan in mind, and I think it’s gonna be something that you really, really like. So if you just go entertain yourself for a bit, come back, I’m gonna have a dish that I know can make you fall in love with pork blood. But here’s the thing. I’ve seen your show before. I know you work magic, so I trust you, and I also know that you’re way better at your job than I am, ’cause there’s no way I could make anything good out of this. Trusting me was your first mistake. To make the blood ganache, first, you have to pasteurize your blood, which means we’re gonna go ahead and get it to about 140 degrees. I shouldn’t say about when we’re working with like, something that could maybe kill you. We’re gonna get it to exactly 140 degrees or more. Pork blood honestly, like one of my favorite things to cook with. I, a lot of people seem to leave in the comments that they think I’m associate path, and I suppose this isn’t gonna help that. I know I’m not a sociopath, because I care about many things, and I like to think that I show empathy and emotion, except for people who beat me in Scrabble, because they’ll get what’s coming to them. Welcome back to Jeffrey Dahmer in the kitchen. You can see the blood start to curdle just a little bit. That’s fine. Just keep whisking through it. We’re gonna go ahead and make our chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water. So just gonna put the chocolate in there. It’s not Limp Bizkit’s best album. I’m a $3 Bill, Y’all fan, but it still holds up. Go give a listen. Also, I met Fred Durst at a magic club once. We’re actually gonna add coconut milk to it. Coconut milk holds heat really well, and I don’t know, you know, you’re supposed to limit your dairy consumption, so when you’re adding pork blood to a ganache, might as well use coconut milk. Why not? It’s healthy. Then once that blood’s pasteurized, you put some of that in there, get it right in the ganache, and you’re gonna see it’s gonna create a beautiful, rosy texture, and just get that swirling, and look at that. Gross. I think Babish is gonna like it. You think he’s gonna like this? I hope so. He’s gonna like it. I think he’s gonna be like, “Wow. That was cheeky and fun.” And not like, “This is horribly grotesque, and I don’t respect you and your career, or anything that you do ever again.” Find out. You’re gonna place that in a silicone cylinder mold, and then pop that in the freezer to set. Test it to make sure it’s pure. Oh yeah, that’s pork blood. All right, cool. We’re gonna put this into the freezer for a couple hours until it’s all set up, and then we’re gonna pop that into our cakes. For the blood meringue, you’re gonna add your pig’s blood to a stand mixer, and then you’re gonna add in granulated sugar, powdered sugar, and salt, and the proteins in the blood, similar to egg whites, are actually going to combine, whip up, aerate, and then we’re gonna bake it into a nice, crispy sheet. You’re gonna spread that really thin out onto a silicone mat on a sheet tray. If they would have doused Carrie in pig blood meringue, that movie would have had such a happy ending, ’cause this is delicious. You can see the color is completely changed. Just gonna spread it a little bit thin, and I’m just gonna take this, pop it in the oven, 375, about 20 minutes. Oh, hey there. I’m sorry to interrupt the most amazing food show that’s ever existed on the internet, except for Hot Ones, but if you want to see more amazing food shows starring yours truly, please subscribe to the Mythical YouTube channel. If enough people subscribe, we’ll get to make more shows. Make sure to click that little bell to get notifications, because you never know what we’ll be up to next, but that little bell knows. It knows everything. Food Fears! To make the blood cake, you’re gonna start with a double boiler, and you’re gonna melt down chocolate with butter, and we’re gonna start by taking some chocolate and putting it into this like, that’s a big ole- That’s a big old brick of coagulated pig’s blood. And then we’re just gonna cube it up. Blood’s just food. It’s really good, actually. I don’t know why people are afraid of this. And while that’s melting, in a stand mixer, you’re gonna add blood, egg yolks, and sugar. We’re already covering ourselves in pig’s blood, what’s a little egg whites gonna give you? It’ll be fine. Once that’s nice and incorporated, you take the chocolate with butter, and you stream that in. Gonna go ahead and pull this out. Not again! You’re gonna fold in flour, and some chopped up solid blood cubes. I’m just gonna take a handful of blood, doesn’t matter, pop it in there. Be nice and delicate with it. You don’t want to break up the blood curds. That’s what my grandma told me when she made this recipe. Oh, my grandma’s taught me tons of blood recipes. That’s why I’m not allowed to go into the fridge in the basement. All right, and so now we’re gonna go ahead, and we’re gonna dress the ramekins, and we’re gonna put the batter in there, put it in the silicone- Cylinder. Cylinder, that’s the word I was looking for. Okay. Back to you, Chris. You’re gonna take your ramekins. You gonna coat those in butter and demerara sugar. Sometimes I just brush myself down, but okay. There are so many benefits of brushing yourself down with butter. It’s like the Bulletproof coffee movement, where like, the fat does something, or CrossFit keto. I don’t care. It just feels good. And now we’re gonna take our bloody cake mixture. We’re gonna fill it about halfway up. Take a cylinder of frozen ganache, place that right in the center, and then just enough cake batter to cover it. See, they just pop out nice and easy, and then this is actually going to be the molten filling. A lot of people think you just undercook the cake to make it molten. That’s not true, as seen in the movie, Chef. Ooh, got snagged on a blood cube. Okay. Now we’re just gonna take a small layer of filling right on top. I’m just gonna place that in the oven, and bake it till it’s cake. Bake well, gross cakes. And then now we’re gonna start working on our garnishes. For the blood whipped cream, we’re gonna do this by hand. I didn’t want to do it, but Nicole said I should, and my forms are gonna start cramping in about three minutes, so let’s start. It builds character, Josh. So I’m gonna start whisking it in until it starts to thicken a little bit. Food Fears! All right. Then you add half your sugar, so we’re gonna get it a little stiffer than normal. That’s what? Nothing. I didn’t say it. Keep whisking it until soft peaks form. Add the other half of the sugar, and then just enough blood to give it a beautiful, rosy complexion. And this is pasteurized blood, so it’s pasteurized or unpasteurized? This is pasteurized. Thank God, so it’s pasteurized blood. Oh, the blood comes through, but just a little bit, just enough to give you that like, kind of sickening edge, but I think in a good way. For blood macerated berries, we’re gonna take some fresh strawberries and blueberries. You want to do this very carefully. You also want to say that word very carefully. Yes, macerate. Not to be confused with the other word, masticate. Just gonna go ahead and pour some of that pasteurized pork blood in there. You thought it was gonna say master- You’re gonna get some sugar. The sugar is actually gonna draw the moisture out of the berries. Then a little bit of bourbon. Then you actually gonna get in there, and really mash it with your hands a little bit, just to get the juices flowing. And then just start punching it, and it actually should create a nice little sauce. You’re gonna take one of those cakes out of the oven, and gingerly remove it by placing a plate on top of the cake, and then flipping it over. And we’re gonna get this on the plate. Now we’ve got to hurt it when it flips upside down. You got to go , and that is how it unsheathes perfectly. Beautiful. You’re gonna put a dollop of berries straight on top of that. The maceration of the cake hole, and flick some of the macerating juices all over the plate. Got to give it a little, little flick, a few shards of meringue on top. Nice thin shards that we can put in the cream, really tell a story, a story of a horrible double murder. And then you’re gonna dust the meringue right on top as if it were powdered sugar, and that’s your pork blood chocolate lava cake. Andrew, welcome back. How are you recovering? I um, Yeah. Picking bits of blood out of my teeth, and I’m shuddering every like, 30 seconds thinking about it. Just when you get the thought, you just- For you, you’re just like, you know, “Oh, that was tasty.” Yeah. Every shot of pig’s blood I take, I get stronger. Yeah, so that’s your secret. That really is the secret. I mean, look at the veins folks. All right. So you’re ready to see we got under the cloche, what I made for you? Very ready. I’d love to get that blood out of my mouth, and get some other blood that tastes better, and what? Yeah, yes, I’m ready. All right. So you really have been a huge influence to me, and I know there’ve been some big influences on you. So we’ve actually made a pork blood chocolate lava cake. Oh, my God. Inspired by your recipe, which is inspired by the movie Chef. So what we’ve done is infused a lot of liquid pork blood into the actual cake with some of the pork blood solids. There’s pork blood in the ganache. We’ve done a pork blood meringue, which is actually just whipped pork blood, and sugar, and a pork blood whipped cream, and then we’ve macerated berries in blood and a little bit of bourbon as well. That’s very interesting. First off, I wish Jon were here to try this. Sure he’d love it, and second off, so does blood go very well with chocolate, or is this just an attempt to mask the blood? No. Blood actually does go really well with chocolate. In fact, there’s a Filipino stew called Dinuguan that a lot of parents will trick their children into eating by calling it chocolate stew. Interesting. So there is a precedent for it. I just want to say that blood goes very well with chocolate sounds like some kind of indie film that like, one of you know, sort of a fringe- Like, blood is the warmest color kind of thing? Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. Go ahead and dig in. We got to test this out. Now, first things first, we got to see if it’s molten. We gotta see if it’s molten. That’s molten. Look at that. It’s molten! It’s molten! It’s molten! Let’s try it. But does it taste good? Please grab a bite. I’ll go right there with you with some of the blood cream. I want to try each element by itself to see what’s going on. Really try and focus on the blood flavor, ’cause if you notice you see these whole blood cubes in there. We wanted that for texture. There’s the metallic taste with the blood, and I am getting that, and it’s almost like, as if you had added like lemon zest or something. It’s like, like a bit of a- Well, actually the reason Dutch processed cocoa exists is to get the metallic taste out of chocolate already. Well, howdy. Yeah. Yeah, so you just went and brought it back in. Doubled down, tripled down in fact. All right. Well, now I’m gonna try some of this blood cream. That’s tastes a little bit more like blood than anything else. Yeah. But it’s not bad. It tastes a little porky, I will say, like, it’s not, you know, as dessert-oriented as I would like, but let me, let me try the- Just to cut the richness, a little bit of berries, a little bit of bourbon. You know, this is something that I could see, you know, eating the entirety of, honestly. I think you’ve really outdone yourself. We might get, we’ll get you some fresh blood on the side if you want to eat with that as well. Yeah, please. By all means. You’ve done it with what just made me literally recoil, and I could see the whole chunks of blood in there. It’s really conceptual thing. It doesn’t taste that bad. It’s like the fact that you’re eating this coagulated blood, and that you feel this, you taste the metallic as if you just like licked a cut on your hand. It’s so off-putting, but in this context, this is really quite good. And honestly, that’s the thesis behind the show, right? Like, this is all just food. Like, I grew up eating a lot of pork blood, so to me it’s just food, and then when you can re-contextualize it in someone’s mind, it becomes a beautiful thing. Mission accomplished, dude. Well. Thank you so much for joining me. This is a huge honor to have you compliment my food, and I actually have one more parting gift for you. Jon Favreau gave you the fork that you have tattooed on your arm. I would like to give you a spork that I have tattooed on my arm. It’s not as special. It wasn’t in a movie. This is a very special. Should I get this tattoo now? Should I get a matching one? I would love that. I’ll get any, I’ll just get your face tattooed on my back if it would make you happy. It would make me happy. Can I hold you to that? Whoever loses the Streamys has to get the other’s face tattooed on their back. What did I just do? Oh, I just- This is a deal. Andrew, thank you so much for joining me, and everybody, go buy his cookbook Binging with Babish. Check out his channel. It’s on the same YouTube channel with mine. Thank you so much for coming. Huge hero of mine. This is amazing. Thank you so much for having me. Food Fears! Sorry, if we do that, I just scream Food Fears, and it kind of ramps everything up. You see everyone just stop now? Jesus Christ. I feel like I just ate Hello Kitty’s boogers. Welcome to Food Fears, where I make something you hate taste great. Today’s guest is a three-time, count it, three-time champion of trivia night at Barney’s Beanery in Burbank, California. It’s Emily Fleming. Emily, what’s the capital of Malaysia? Oh, come on. You think I’m gonna know that? Wrong. Kuala Lumpur. Anyways, how are you doing? Welcome. I’m doing great. Fantastic. You don’t seem too happy, because I’m guessing you understand what’s about to happen today. Yeah. Great. You’re giving me nothing. That’s fantastic. I’m just like really nervous, Josh, and it smells like a, like a three-year-old fart in here, and I’m like, really, really scared. Today, we’re eating three-year-olds farts. I knew it. All right. Well, I hope you enjoy spiky nightmare stink fruit, also known as durian. So this stuff is so smelly that in Southeast Asian countries like Thailand and Singapore, it’s not even allowed on public transportation. Just get a big old whiff of that right there. Yeah, that’s- You gotta really implant that in your brain. What is that? What is in there? Uh, it’s some sort of nut, some sort of seed or nut. Okay. So as this tradition, we have to try this in its most pure form so I can know how to kind of gauge what I’m making around your taste. So if you just want to like scoop out a nut, and we can just it suck it directly off that. Oh, God. What else do you have to do today? Oh, God, I’m sucking a nut for the internet. Yeah, we all are, metaphorically or literally. Oh, God. Oh, God! Just, just get it- Oh, it just looks like booger salad. Oh no. All right. Great. Oh no! Josh. I’m here to eliminate your food fears. First we have to face them nut first, so we’re gonna gingerly, touch her tips, tip it and dip it. I hate this. Okay. Just go ahead and give it, like an oyster. That’s not pleasant. What are you thinking right now? There’s a kind of really snotty texture to it. I have to focus. Okay, it’s down. All right. Did you love it or did you love it? I survived it. Just the way it looks, and then the way it feels, it’s like old, bad cheese, but then it’s also got like a, like skin in it. Okay, so you hate the smell. You hate the texture. I can try and, those aren’t problems. I feel like I just ate Hello Kitty’s boogers. Some businessmen pay a lot of money to do that. Ew, and my mouth. Oh, God. I think I can make you love this. I’m gonna try and transform this into a completely new dish. Just give me about an hour. Come back, and we are gonna take all the old skin and cheese elements out of it. Try and replace it with, well, we’ll see. I’m putting a lot of faith in this booger soup. Will it come off the nut next time? Yeah, it stays on the nut. The nut stays. Well, in that case, I’m very excited. Food Fears! We’re making a durian ice cream, starting with this super-simple, sweet cream base. So I’m just gonna blend some fresh durian pulp with the milk. The smells and the sounds, and then we’re actually gonna take freeze dried durian powder for some more kick, and then a whole lot of sugar, spill most of it on your blender, key part of the recipe. The Choco Taco to me is the absolute king of ice cream truck options, because it takes every single component. It has the chocolate swirl. It has the ice cream. It has the nuts. It has the chocolate coating. It has the shell. That is like five layers of flavor, but you get to eat every single thing in one bite. Then once that’s fully combined, you’re gonna take all that delightful durian mixture, and throw it into a bowl. Then you’re gonna put in heavy cream, and then this just gets whisked up. It smells like if someone just died inside of a large mango. I kind of like that, though. So once your ice cream base is all whisked up, you can throw that into your ice cream maker for about 45 minutes. It’ll still be pretty soft, but you want it to be soft, because we’re gonna stir in the durian caramel. For me, the best part about a Choco Taco are those swirls of chocolate throughout the ice cream, and so I’m gonna replace the chocolate with a salted durian caramel. To make the durian caramel, I am melting sugar in a pot, and I want to use a live flame for this, because electric burners aren’t good for how finicky caramel can be. And so then I’m melting butter in another pot, along with durian that’s been blended with milk, and then I’m gonna add the hot, milky durian butter to the melted sugar, and then you just whisk that in super violently, and then add salt to get that saline punch. All right, so the ice cream has about 10 minutes left, and that’s when you want to take your cooled down caramel, and you want to drizzle that in. Ice cream is already spinning, so it will just create nice ribbons. Gonna get some motion on the spoon in there. You just kinda jab at it. You’re just gonna want to jab at it with your spoon. It’s actually like a fun little game, where you try and miss the ice cream blade, and then you hit stop, and then it’s perfect. Food Fears! I’m making the sweet taco shell by using the same technique I would to make a waffle cone. So I make the batter with a little bit of ginger and cardamom, just to get some kind of warm spice in there. And we got a waffler right here. This is typically meant for a waffle cone, but if you take that, and you shape it over a taco mold, then you got a waffle taco cone, waffle cone taco, waffle cone taco shell durian Taco Choco. And you just gotta spoon in about a tablespoon of that batter, and then you just close it up, clamp it down, wait 30 seconds. This is just a sticker that came with the taco mold. Mine won’t look nearly that good. This is obviously done by a professional. I am just an amateur who screwed up most things. All right. The waffle taco I think has done. Oh, that looks gorgeous. This is ready to go, so we’re just gonna lift it off very gingerly, and this is gonna go right over the taco sticker, and you have to work fast. Take a paper towel, because it’s very hot. You’re gonna press it in, and hold it for about 15 seconds. The waffle maker actually came with this really sweet waffle pattern bandaid that isn’t covering up an open wound that I’ve been touching with everything, and whoever eats this totally isn’t gonna get, I dunno, avian flu? That still going around? So after a rest, you can pull off the paper towel. As you see, the sugar is actually hardened, and it keeps it form fitted. Assembling this Choco Taco is incredibly important for the war against the machines. When the robot apocalypse comes, we as humans need to rise up, and show that we are as useful as the machines in the Choco Taco factory, and we can do this just as well. So you take the taco shell, and you gotta fill it delicately with ice cream, and really spoon it out over the top to create a smooth layer, and then you dip that into the magic shell, and you gotta work fast, and the clock is ticking here. Your ice cream is melting, and the robots know that. Don’t give in. So before the ice cream melts, you gotta roll that quickly into the coconut, and then get that into the freezer as fast as possible. You got like an eight second window, or else you’re done, and then the robots win. I’ve seen The Matrix, not the sequels. Emily, what I’ve made for you today is the durian Choco Taco. Ooh! We took the fruit, and we infused it in ice cream. We made caramel with the durian, and then we dipped that into a white chocolate durian shell, some toasted coconut on top. It’s really pretty. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I have an eye for aesthetics. That’s what my middle school art teacher told me. Well, then that’s- You remind me a lot of her. God, I get teacher stuff a lot, and I wish it was like, you know, that counselor I always had a crush on. It’s always just like, you remind me of someone who told me to shut up. That was my art teacher. She had a lot of cats. I don’t have any cats, okay? I don’t. Yet. Let’s try these Choco Tacos. I’m very excited. Tip it, and dip it. Oh, wow. Mm. My teeth are sensitive to cold. Mine too! We should be using Sensodyne. I don’t. I’m sure it would help. We’re not that old yet. Wait till you get cats. That’s really good. How much of the fartiness are you getting? I am getting little bit of the cheesy note there, but I don’t mind it. I tried to really punch that in the face with salted caramel. It’s like a tropical kind of like, cheesecake situation. That’s great. Cheesecake practically built the whole empire. Yeah, and I love the coconut with it. Yeah? That’s really nice. So you’ve been fully converted to durian. Like, you’re gonna start eating this with your lunch every day? No, I’d like to keep my friends. Okay. That’s fine. So the smell, although I don’t smell it, I don’t know if I smell anymore at this point. It’s really punches you right in the back of the smell bag. It definitely has that, it’s that oniony- Yeah. Kind of cheesy taste to it. It’s not that, I didn’t want to completely run from the durian. I wanted to just kind of like, present it to you kind of like putting lipstick on a pig, except this is a spiky nightmare fruit. Yeah. Well, no, I really like this, and I really liked the- What is this? Oh, that’s a durian white chocolate shell with a little bit of turmeric just for color. Ooh, yeah, it really does. It’s really nice. Thank you. Cheers. You did good. My art teacher was never this nice. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Welcome to Food Fears, where I make something you hate taste great. You might recognize my guest from the local Souplantation line, it’s Stevie Levine. I don’t wanna be here. I’m so sorry, but I love you. I just hate what you’re about to do to me. You don’t even know what you’re eating today, so I think your fears are really unfounded. Uh, that’s all I can produce right now. I can’t produce words. It’s good to know that I’ve already just inspired fear and complete loathing in you. Anyways, you are familiar with the female anatomy, being a woman, of course, and as a feminist, I believe that representation matters, which is why today we’re eating uterus. Oh my God. It’s not scary. It’s beautiful. It’s a miracle. That’s where babies come from, or maybe pee, I don’t know. What? What? Oh my God, Josh. I have got to- Looks are not everything in food. It could taste great. You haven’t even experienced yet. Why does it look like this? And that’s what this whole experience is about, is being open-minded. Oh, my God. So we do have to try the product first, so I can kind of get your flavor notes, and what you don’t like about it, so I can try and create a dish that you will 100% love. I can’t look at you. Okay. Here’s, I have a caveat. Okay. It is actually Saturday morning right now. What I usually would be doing is drinking at brunch, but the part that we’re missing is the part I brought, which is the tequila. Wow. You just had that ready to go. I normally just swig that behind the dumpster out back at work, so this is actually really nice to drink out of a cup. I’m shaking. In real life, I will eat just about anything. It doesn’t usually look like this, and it’s never been uterus before. Oh, God. First time for everything. Is this cut in a way- Yeah. So it’s in two parts. Oh, I thought you were gonna do that. I’m gonna eat it with you as is customary, so if you just want to grab this. It looks like guts. You have to really get a feel for it to- Oh! Oh! Yeah, it’s cold and sopping wet. That’s how you have to eat it. Touching it makes it so much worse! On the show, we always liked to gingerly touch our tips. Oh, my God. So we’re gonna go ahead and tip it and dip it. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Do you like it? No, no. But is it the texture? The taste? Oh my God. Oh. I mean, I cooked this myself. It’s just boiled, but it should have a kind of purity to it. Oh my God. So what is it about it that you’d like this changed? Oh, you’re just gonna do the tequila now. Okay, got it. I still have uterus in my mouth. I swallowed a lot of that uterus whole. Okay, well you got it down. Like, you didn’t throw up. Look at the freaking cross-section situation. That is not okay. Look at my bite mark, though. Good bite mark. It’s impressive. The texture is so terrible. It is like rubbery sponge, and the taste is super bland, but then there’s like a hint of like, nu-uh. Basically what I’m saying is I hate everything about it. Well, strong words from a strong leader. Thank you. So I need you to give me about an hour, and you’re gonna come back, and I guarantee you. I am guaranteeing victory on this one. I’ve never done that before. This is just for you. I’m guaranteeing victory. You’re gonna love the final dish. You can even have the rest of it. Well, we still have this much tequila left, so you know what? I’ll see you in an hour. It can only help. Male sex organs are a dime a dozen around here. I mean, we eat so many penises and testicles, and I think representation is really important. So I’m really excited to cook with a female sex organ this time. So first things first, we’ve got to make our waffle fries. People don’t typically make waffle fries at home, because a lot of people don’t know how they’re made, but all you need is a crinkle cutter mandolin, and you take the potato, and you run it across one way, rotate it 90 degrees, run it across the other way. Then you’ll see that beautiful window pane texture. Now we’re gonna make our beer batter for the french fries, gonna dump in some flour, a little bit of Creole spice in there, and then we have beer that goes in, just whisk that up. And then final step is a shot of vodka. The vodka is gonna make it super light and airy. Take the fry, you dip it in the batter. You swish it around, and then to get the holes, you go . Is it super gross that you’re just like, blowing on your food? Of course. Then you just wait about three or four minutes, and it should be nice, and light, and crispy, and airy. There’s really no wrong way to cook a uterus. It does have a funky smell to it though, and so if you put it in an Instapot that has a lid on it, it’ll at least stop that. So that’s what I’m doing. I don’t want to shy away from the uterus. I want to embrace the uterus, and use it as many ways as possible. So I’m taking off the membrane, and actually frying that into uterus cracklings, which I’m then gonna dust in Tajin chili lime salt. There is one element of uterus that’s pretty pleasant. It has this nice cartilaginous snap to it. The texture is almost crunchy like a pig ear. To preserve the texture of the uterus, I’m gonna take it in nice big rustic chunks, and add that to a chili. We’re gonna start with some fresh pork lard. All right, then you take all those uterus chunks, and you just throw those right in the lard. Don’t want to miss any uterus. Then right when the uterus goes in, you want to add your spices. So we have ancho chili powder. We’ve got some cascabel chili powder. We’ve got cumin, and then we’ll get salt in there too. So when you add this spice, it’s gonna toast in the fat. Once all your spices are nice and toasted, and the uterus is really coated, you’re gonna add in your onion, some poblano chilies, and garlic, and garlic, and garlic. And then you just gonna stir that up, let it saute for a couple of minutes, really get that veg softened. So now the spices are all toasted, we have to deglaze the pan. We’re using a canned Michelada, because it has super awesome acid, and the Worcestershire sauce in it. So we’re just gonna pour that in. Then after all the alcohol is cooked out, and started to reduce a little bit, you’re gonna take chicken stock, some crushed tomato, and just a little bit of hot sauce to that acid. And then you’re just gonna let that cook down for about 45 minutes. Also, you may notice there’s an omission in this chili, not putting any beans in it. I really want the uterus to shine, and beans in chili is just super gross. Like, who does that? Food Fears. Food Fears. Food Fears. Food Fears! The finished dish starts with a huge base of your beer battered waffle fries. Pour that chili right on top. That is gorgeous. Then you’re gonna top that just some simple, shredded, medium yellow cheese. Awesome. And then this is gonna go into the oven for about five minutes just to melt it. You don’t really want any browning on it. Once it’s all melty, top it with pickled red onions, a little bit of smoked paprika crema, and then it’s gonna get finished very dramatically with the uterus cracklings. All right. So Stevie, you’re back. You’ve been drinking behind the dumpster. I’ve been cooking. How was it? Did you meet Gerald? I did. He and I really bonded over our love for half bottles of tequila, and then empty bottles of tequila. Yeah. I hate Gerald. Anyways, so are you ready for the reveal? I am. Are you hungry? No. Perfect, ’cause we’re doing it anyways. I present to you uterus chili cheese fries with uterus membrane cracklings, and a little bit of smoked paprika crema. Wow, Josh, this is so beautiful. Thank you. So we made some waffle cut fries, simple uterus chili with a little bit of Michelada thrown in there. Simply uterus chili, TM. But please dig in, you first. This is uterus? So this is uterus membrane that we fried into kind of a big Chicharróne, and then uterus is all throughout the chili. So you see these little bits here? Yeah. This is nice, chopped uterus. We’ve just cooked it for about an hour. And pickled onions? And pickled onions. I’m gonna go in with my hands. Yeah, this is a hand, I feel like it’s a hand dish. I want to get as much uterus as possible. You should. Definitely get some cracklings on there. They’re my personal favorite. Do people eat uterus on a regular basis? Is there a cuisine in which uterus is like, a thing? It’s not super popular. From what I understand, there’s some parts of China where it’s kind of considered like, a drunk food, which really works out in your favor, you and Gerald. And so, but it’s really not like, a very common thing, possibly for a reason. Yeah. Okay. All right. Tip it and dip it. We’re saying that now. It’s a thing. Okay. All over my lips. Call that a uterus mouth. It’s an industry term. Hmm. Okay. Not bad! I think it may be the chili. The chili is very strong. I gotta, let me get this other big chunk of uterus. Yeah. Yeah, try and isolate the uterus. See if, see if you actually like that texture. It’s much better with everything else. Yes. I gotta say. Oop, oop. I’m getting a nuh-uh taste. Mm-hmm. Oh. I got it down. That’s where the chili really comes in handy. It’s not bad, though. Okay. Like, if you need protein, and there’s literally nothing else in the entire universe, then uterus. Again, I have low self-esteem. So that’s like the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, and that’s a huge compliment. Wonder if there is protein in uterus? There’s gotta be. Sure. This is just like a protein shake. I’m gonna eat this last bite. You don’t have to. Man, you know what? I got a really weird job, and I really love it. We got one more episode coming out, and then we got one more marathon coming out next week, and then after that, we’re taking a nice long break to rest and recharge, and come out swinging for the foodie fences in the new year. Also make sure you catch up on our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure you follow us, and catch up on all our cooking shenanigans at Mythical Kitchen on both Instagram and TikTok. It gets really weird over there, upsettingly weird. See you all next time. The Mythical Kitchen’s favorite way to obliterate garlic, immortalized in T-shirt form. Get the palm heel strike T now at mythical.com.