At this point, it’s like if somebody just pre chewed an In and Out burger for you and then spit it into a bowl of sauce, but in a good way. Hey, welcome to mythical kitchen where dreams become food. To address the elephant on my head, I’ve decided that I’m gonna try and be a beanie guy. If you think I pull it off, comment below. If you think I look like a real piece of crap and you hate me also comment below either way comment. So what are we making today? We are making an In and Out calzone. Why are we making it In and Out? Calzone? Because In and Out is stagnant. I love them so much, I grew up eating In and Out, but they have not changed their menu in like 60 years. And I think they haven’t changed their menu because no idea good enough has come a long to change their menu for them. So that’s what I’m doing because you’re taking the handheld innovation of the Italian calzone and you’re transmuting that into the In and Out flavors. And I think it is the perfect hybrid. And I’m going to win the love and respect of president Lindsay Snyder. That’s right, that’s In and Out corporate president’s name. I don’t know why I know that. We’ve broken the recipe down to three easy steps. You can stag the time codes right there. We also get a full written version down in the description, let’s get cooking. So for the In and Out calzone, we’re starting with a pretty basic pizza dough right here. We got some water that’s been warmed, but not past 110 degrees ’cause that’s what kills yeast, but then anything after a hundred, 4.25 degrees kills humans, that’s why hot tubs aren’t allowed to go above that, ’cause you can suffer. Y’all ever notice that there’s like way more warnings on every hot tub everywhere than there is on like any alcohol bottle? That’s crazy, man. I wanna be in 115 degree, hot tub. I want you to Sous Vide me to medium rare. Anyways, we’re gonna go ahead and we’re gonna add some yeast to this water right here. We’re gonna get that blue in and we’re gonna make a basic pizza dough to shove a bunch of In and Out flavored ingredients into there. Also I remember why I know the name of In and Out president and that’s ’cause like five years ago I wrote a GoFundMe petition to try and get a veggie burger on the secret menu, at In and Out ’cause they haven’t changed their menu, but they have all these secret menu items. You can get the flying Dutchman, which is just like beef and cheese on a little plate. You can get animal style all right, that’s not even on the official menu, but they even have it copyrighted. We’re adding some sugar to get that yeast blooming and stir that up. But, but, but there’s not a single veggie burger. You can order a grilled cheese In and Out, but that’s just a Burgerless burger, so I did a whole GoFundMe that has up to 45 signatures last time I checked we’ll link it below and go try and add the frying Starchman, which is what I called it. It’s a brick of coagulated animal style fry shoved inside of a bun, and I petitioned Lindsay Snyder and what I estimated to be millions that would follow me, but Nope, only 43, but you 43 people out there, you’re the real ones. All right. So we got the yeas blooming. We’re gonna go ahead and we’re gonna add all of the flour, to the stand mixer. I’ve a lot of history, In and Out. Gonna add garlic powder and salt. The In and Out parking lot is where like rival high schools would fight each other, but it was like high school fights. No would ever actually do anything, and people would show up and be “what’s up bro, what’s up!” In and Out go on for 15 minutes and everyone would leave, so pretty exciting stuff. There we go, we’re just gonna turn this on and we’re gonna drop in our water and our oil. We’d go to In and Out after every like youth basketball game, and that was the first time I was introduced to the idea that a friend’s mom said, which was she ordered a bun protein style, which is no bun, lettuce wrapped, and she said, “the bun is the only part that’s bad for you” and she ate like three quarters of a pound of beef and American cheese. So that’s another fun thing that happened In and Out for me. A little internalized lifelong carb phobia, no biggie. We’re gonna drop in, yeah. Get it working. There it is, there it is. Now we’re just gonna run this way, hold on. I need something to poke it. Soon as you add it, put a knife inside your machinery to get the flour incorporated. There it is, maybe we should just stop it. Eh, we’ll turn on high. You know life’s short, just crank it, you know. I’m gonna shut this down, I’m gonna fold in the dough a little bit. Just try and incorporate some of that shaggy flower in there, beautiful. Oooohhh. So we’re gonna let this run for about five minutes. That’s gonna kneed the dough. It’s gonna elongate some of those gluten structures. You’ve seen us make pizza dough before, but this isn’t pizza dough, it’s In and Out calzone dough. And it’s way different. How? Unclear. That said, we’re gonna let this kneed, there it goes. Nice turn to a nice shaggy dough. And then we are going to get this covered rested, and we’re gonna make our In and Out beef filling. So now we gotta make our In and Out burger inspired beef filling for our In and Out burger inspired beef calzone. Keeping track there, acronyms are home, That’s IIBF and IIBCF if you were. So we’ll start our IIBF right here. We’re gonna take a little bit of oil and then we’re gonna take a bunch of beef and we’re gonna schlop that right in there. Of course, when they actually put this in stores, this isn’t how they’re gonna do it. This is my official pitch to In and Out. We’re gonna season it with– ah poop, I said poop, a poop. I’ve forgotten the salt. Just season this up with salt, even though it doesn’t sit with me very well, this isn’t how they do it in stores, my actual pitch In and Out, this is what we’re doing Linz. We’re close now, I call you Lynn, but I bought your $60 knockoff vans In and Out shoes, on the internet. Okay, I thought it was a clap with vans was not, those are Walmart shoes. They hurt my feet. All right, but I still bought ’em. Anyway, it’s Wendy’s chili Wendy’s chili, right? What they do is they take all the leftover burgers at the end of a good hard Wendy’s day, and they chop those up, they put them into a giant, that with I swear to God, ketchup up in like some kidney beans, and a little bit of onion slop, and they take what would be food waste and turn it into a really delicious $0.99 cup of slop that you can eat in a hot car. What I think In and Out to do is take the leftover burgers at of the day and they’re just gonna chop it up, and then they’re gonna pop it into a pan with wait for it, hold on, wait for it, In and Out spread. So this is what we’re doing, we’re taking ketchup, the ingredients of In and Out spread are ketchup, mayonnaise, pickle, relish mustard. We’re gonna add that in there. Little bit of tomato paste just to thicken it. My pitch, I don’t, expect In and Out to have flour and butter on hand or milk. What I do expect them to have, when you can just get a glass of milk at, In and Out, which I do, if you want just French fries and milk, you can do that, but you take your milkshake that’ll add a little bit of sweetness, pop some in here with the American cheese, that’s gonna create a nice beef filling. So if you get the butter melted down, does that seem like a reasonable pitch? Right, if I was on shark tank, would you gimme 10% for a $9 million investment, on In and Out beef slop? Because In and Out is very popular and it backs up traffic all over the streets, and there’s this one time where I called up the department of transportation. This is real, this is real. This is for a story that I was writing. And I called up the LA Department of Transportation and I was like, “Hey, so like I literally saw a car accident because of a backed up In and Out line that was just leaking into the street the other day is anyone else like complained about this?” The guy was like, “Oh yeah, they call all the time to tell me about this.” And I was like, “cool, , y’all ever like tried to fix it? And he goes, “oh no, no, no, people sure do love their internet burgers.” And I was like, “yeah, but like, you know, as car accidents, it seems like there’s something you could do force ’em to go into a lot, going a little switch back snake situation.” And he like, “oh yeah, but what are we gonna do about it?” I was like, “you’re the Department of Transportation.” I felt like it was a Kafka novel. Do y’all read Kafka? That part of our demo? I also camped out an In and Out for six hours once after the Oscars, trying to– ’cause celebrities go to In and Out after the Oscars, I think Bree Larson did it once. Or she like brought In and Out into the Oscars, to hand out to people, and so I was like, I’m gonna go, I’mma, you know, do my paparazzi thing. And I sat at the In and Out for like a couple hours eating the same cold plate of fries as like, you know, a security guard just like stared at me, and I was like, “What, bro? I brought the fries. I’m drinking my Arnie Palmy.” Anyways, zero celebrity over the course of six hours walked in. There’s a guy that I thought might have been Quentin Tarantino, but it was just a guy that kind of looked like Quentin Tarantino, to me, and then I showed his picture of someone else and they’re like, that’s not only is that not Quentin Tarantino, that’s not even a guy that particularly looks like Quentin Tarantino. So that’s a very exciting thing that happened to me at an In and Out. So, now we got our beef slop going, we’re gonna gradually add, what would be In and Outs milkshake to this. That’s looking nice and thick. And again, we’re gonna add French fries to this inside our calzone. Can men have pregnancy cravings? Cause that’s what this is for me, right? Well, sympathetic pregnancies are a thing, right? Where like men, like it’s about to get real, real, real dumb in here. So like sometimes, you know, like a person can get pregnant and then like a man near that person can also experience symptoms of pregnancy. Is this real? Am I making this or was that an episode of house? Anyways point is this is my pregnancy craving. It’s just a bunch of thousand island favored beef slop with potatoes shoved inside of a pizza dough and baked. It’s kind of got like Costco, chicken baked vibes to it, except not at all. This is looking good. I think we’re here. All right, you know what? Hot ketchupy cream sauce. That’s my drag name, and it’s also a thing that I enjoy eating. We’re gonna add a little bit of salt, a little bit of pepper in there, yeah, that’s the problem, it’s under seasoned. And we got our beef slop. What’s next? Oh, it looks like someone threw up hamburger helper, also looks like my lunch yesterday. This one’s better than my lunch yesterday. I made a real piece of crap dish. Now that I see all the ingredients in front of me, I’ve started to have doubts about how this is all gonna come together. ‘Cause I’m gonna let you in on a little trade secret. We don’t practice any of this. Like, we never made this before, we have no idea how it’s gonna work out, but we’re about to see. We got this dough, that’s nice and prove. We’re gonna punch it out a little bit. You might ask what did it prove to me? It’s a pun, you idiot. God Lee. We’re gonna take that. Shploop it down right there. We’re gonna get a whole lot flower on top of it. You might be asking Josh what you’re telling me In and Out, which prides itself on ease of customer experience, is just gonna be roll it out. Pizza dough, fresh in every store? No. In and Out’s gonna buy pizza hut. Call on that. If you are a Get Stonk trader, buy up the pizza hut chairs. All right. So now we’re gonna take this and I’m gonna, just kinda circumcise it a little bit. That just means to cut around, learn Latin, be a little less ignorant, okay? There we go. Yeah, just gonna free hand this into a circle. We could have used one of various circular, large things to cut a nice circle, but no, no, we do not do that. And then what you can do is can take kind of this part and you can braid it with some of the beef slop in between to make beef slot braids for the kids. That’s gonna be on the kids’ menu. Beef knots is what they’re gonna call ’em. So we’re gonna take some French fries, and we’re gonna imagine– Oh dude, we should put pickles in it, right? Make it animal style. Nicole, people gonna have to be able to make this animal style or else it’s not In and Out, ’cause– Nicole, pickles please. Nicole I’ll give you a dollar. And I know I owe you a lot of dollars, I say that a lot, but this time I’m not lying. I am, I am lying to her. You take some American cheese. That’s what they do it In and Out. And now we take all that delicious beef slop. Ah, well we’re here. Also anyone says five guys better than In and Out, pheeew fighting words. Every person from any part of the country that doesn’t have In and Out, all it says that their version of In and Out is better. Like anyone from Texas is like “Whataburger better than In and Out.” No, no. I once went to a Whatabuger at 3:00 AM after a strip club– Thanks to the pickles Nicole, it’s animal style. We gotta have some pickles. We’re on the pickles and the spread, and now we’re gonna take, here we’ll take the beef slop, we’re gonna get some spread in there. Hot baked mayonnaise is a tradition in the mythical kitchen. You know, some people have their own family traditions. Like “we do this for the seven fishes, ’cause we’re Italian and we’re trying…” Hot mayonnaise here, is what we do for Christmas as well. Remember that time I tried to put mayonnaise in the mashed potatoes and you all like really violently rebelled against me? I haven’t forgotten. And now we fold it up. Okay. Now we’re gonna braid it. It’s very simple, curls and braid technique. You wrap it around the finger, then you add another finger and then you wrap it around that and then you pinch it and you wrap it, and you pinch it and okay, and then you pinch it and you wrap it. Well, you gonna pinch it again then guess what you’re gonna do again? That’s right. You’re gonna wrap it then. You’re gonna– That’s a big D all right, cool. Take this big D, throw it in the oven belt. I don’t know how much degrees this takes. Let’s reckon 400. That’s what we’re reckoning right now. Wow. This calzone’s too hot to handle. That’s why I grabbed it with my new mythical oven mitts, now available @mythical.com for you and me all the boys and girls. Was that a good ad? Read? Yeah. We nailed the copy, We got it right, We got the right vibe? All right cool, yeah we made up mitts. They work, they work good. You saw ’em work, and I really like ’em, so I dunno, buy em if you want don’t mind me, donate money to charity or something, you know, you can do whatever you want, your money. So we got the calzone out. And what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna brush this down with egg wash, and then we’re gonna top it with French. I’m gonna top it with French fries. That way it’s got French fries on it, here we go. I think this is the right move ’cause, No, no, no, Nicole. Ye of little faith. Check this out. Yeah, Oh yeah. Oh, now it’s all making sense. Josh isn’t so crazy after all, and then we’re gonna, yeah now I see the problem now. ‘Cause now we’re just gonna get omelet there. Hold on. No, no, but I think what we can do, is just wipe away some of that egg, and then hold on. Well, maybe I can just lift this up, no, that’s real wet. All right, back in the oven for another 10. As you can see, the calzone is outta the oven and my cooking technique of pouring all the egg wash on at worked. Now you can just take this off and you got a nice little kind of what I can only call an egg fruit roll up. Good! When you go to In and Out and order this, which I can’t stress enough in the next 30 to 40 years it’s gonna be reality. They’re gonna serve it to you on a large lazy season, with all the vegetable components including, the caramelized onions that they forgot to put inside the calzone. And here is how they do it, they go, “Here you go.” That’s it. That’s, I’m gonna continue eating egg fruit roll up, ’cause like that. Here we have the In and Out calzone. We got our In and Out burger inspired calzone with our In and Out burger inspired beef filling, that’s right. That’s the IIBC, IIBF that we said from earlier. And now we get to eat, have to eat it. All right, let’s cut into this, see what we got. Holy grapple pie. If that’s not the wettest calzone you’ve ever seen. You kinda shake off some of the Fries on there, but it’s still intact. You know, this is, and we gotta say that this is not protein style. If you order a protein style, they’ll just wrap the calzone filling and iceberg lettuce, and then bake that off like a cabbage rolls or Polish Golumpki. Does that interest you? I think what I’m gonna do is, I’m gonna tear off a piece of the calzone and I’m gonna wrap it in a lettuce cup. This is like a Korean Bossam, and then we’re gonna put a little bit that on there, and then, put on cheers. I think there were points where we doubted this recipe. I know the peanut gallery over there, you all doubted me. They laughed because it’s true. This is really tasty. My favorite part, one thing that I wish we would’ve done different. If I knew we were serving it on a be cold vegetables, I probably wouldn’t have put the pickles to get up to 900 degrees inside the calzone, but we did, and there they are. At this point, it’s like, if somebody just pre chewed an In and Out burger for you, and then spit it into a bowl of sauce, but in a good way, you get the fries, you get the cheese, you get the beef. I think it’s a pleasant eating experience, but my pallets warped and my brain got touched by the sun one day, and I ain’t been right since. So let’s go spark someone. Amy, what are you doing? Oh God, Hi. I’m Working. No stop. You gonna wanna stop doing that entirely, eat this In and Out Calzone. Oh my gosh. Dramatic lighting. Oh my God, is it golden hour already? I mean, yeah. It’s warm out. Yeah, it’s hot. You are wearing a beanie though. Do you think I could be a beanie guy? I think you could pull it off. It’s the nicest thing person a to be thinking. I know. I try. All right. So what we have here is an In and Out Calzone, that is an In and Out spiced beef slop, with cheese and potatoes and pickles inside of the calzone shell. Oh my God. – Are you ready for this? Do you like In and Out? I love In and Out. Okay, you’re gonna dig this then. Oh my God, okay. You got a French fry crust. Do you want, wait, do you want some caramelized onions? We did those on the side. Yeah, Yeah, no, don’t be shy. Do you want some lettuce? Also it’s on spinning laser 60 . Oh my God. You can take a sec to chew, you don’t gotta do it right away. That is so good, like, is it the French fries on top? Hmm The crispiness and the cheeriness and the sauciness, the onions, Oh my God. It’s like In and Out, but wetter. Yes. And do you want that? It’s yeah, it’s a nice wet In and Out experience. I Call it a wet zone. A wet zone? It’s a hot wet zone. I think that’s a perfect name for it. Would you pay $68 for this? I’ll pay $69. Nice! Amy, thank you so much for being our Guinea pig today. No problem. Thank y’all so much for stopping by the mythical kitchen. We got new episodes for you every week. We got new episode of our podcast of hot dogs and sandwich every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcast, hit us up on it. Hey, I hit us up on In and Out Jill maybe. Hit us up on Instagram and TikTok @mythical kitchen with pictures of your dishes under hashtag dreams become food, just like Lauren Chapman did. Lauren Chapman was leading a D and D game, wanted to make the hot dog upside down cake. Apparently her entire D and D troop rebelled against her because they said that was disgusting. So she made a deconstructed version, they really loved it. Lauren, thanks for working with the recipe, you know, cause this is all about making people happy. Look how happy Amy is. I’m so happy. I’m so happy. See you all next time. Can I eat the rest of this? Yes. Okay, great. Please love God, get it outta my sight. The mythical kitchen’s favorite way to obliterate garlic, Immortalized in t-shirt form. Get the Palm heel strike team now @mythical.com.