You know, if you think about it, the gladiator stuff is like the first YouTube. People were like And this To understand the foods of our present, we must first understand the foods of our past. That’s why we’re recreating some of the most notable meals throughout history. And today we’re making the OG swole food. Oh, Josh, you know that aphrodisiacs aren’t really a thing. No, no, not, not swole like that. Although it, it does kind of go there a bit.. No, no we’re making a gladiatorial combat feast from 2000 years ago. Oh, because you work out and stuff. Yeah yeah. Well, in that case, it’s time for Meals of History! Emily, like I mentioned, 2000 years ago, gladiatorial combat feast. Do you find these men sexy? I was just looking at his butt That’s a great butt. Before you even said that. It’s got good hamstring development. Yeah I’d say these men are very handsome. Right? Well the good news is they did not look like that. Gladiators ate mostly a vegetarian diet. Very, very carb rich. And the goal was actually to have a bit of extra fluff because one, everybody knows, not all the best athletes have six packs, functional strength is different from aesthetics. And so gladiators, they tended to have a little bit of extra fat on them from eating this very carb rich diet. And that way they could just literally take more stabs and not die. And so of course, to feed them, they trained full time. They lived in what was called a lootis or a school training ground. They would spend most of their lives in cells. A lot of them were slaves and prisoners of war, but some of them were just like, yo, I could kill people pretty good. I could stab a lion in the face. You know what I mean? And so they had to be fed. And so they had specific drinks that was like what I would call a precursor to Gatorade. But not only that, they also had concession stands because you had a bunch of fans out there. Yeah. To watch all the blood, you know, be spilled. I love imagining like a concessions guy going up and down the stone coliseum steps being like, get your sheep spleen! Sheep’s bladder wine I don’t know Fresh sheep bladder wine I’m not sure that that’s what they actually made. I guess today is, I’m gonna find out. You’re about to find out, we got some really cool stuff planned. All right, cool. I’ve got a lot of options of what I could play. You gonna be like a gladiator or you gonna be like a big tough. I feel like you kind of Or a female gladiator Got that down on lock I’m gonna have to take a different approach. Can’t wait to see it. What kind of anachronistic Monday morning quarterback spillage, I meant to do that. Of course you did. What’s up bro? How you doing big dog? What’s up? Ha ha Oh, you got the foam finger on. I do. The name’s Flabia. Flabia I don’t, Flabia minora or No Flabia Nepetisia Flabia Nepetisia. Are you here for the gladiator combat? Yeah are you fellow gladiator? Yeah no I’m not a gladiator. I actually cook for the gladiators though Oh. So it’s like if a guy had gotten in you know So low rank, huh? Yeah I mean, you know, it’s, a job’s a job. What do you do? I would’ve been a gladiator, you know? Yeah of course. Except for my dad, I was born rich. So I like didn’t have that poor people’s strength you know? you didn’t have the poor, I was really born at a disadvantage, so I just couldn’t do it, you know? But I would’ve done it. And you would’ve been awesome. I would’ve been the best. Dude you should freaking jump in there. Cause I think you can still join up to a- I can’t jump, I have weak ankles so. Yeah no, you got those, those rich weak ankles. I’m sorry. Upper body strength though. What would your weapon be? I’m really really strong. I don’t need a weapon, man. I just got like these fists. Yeah yeah yeah. I do have like rad upper body strength though. Yeah prove it. What do you bench? What do you bench? Oh like, I don’t know two big rocks, I guess they would’ve used back then. Like, like, like boom, like that big rock. Oh well. Like on a stick, what’s up bro? How much do you bench? That’s not even, that’s not even, that’s not that much. How much you bench bro? Ugh, like three of those. Prove your upper body strength. We’re making something right now called ezekiel o’mentata All right So this is something that was, which sounds like your name. I feel like I should get this silly stuff off. You’re not tailgating then? This is the tailgate I’m cooking for the tailgate. Oh. I see you getting a little rip spit hammered out here off the, I know man I just, I invented this. Well really my servants invented it, but I’m gonna take credit for it so no big deal. That adds up. That adds up. So like I said, we’re making something called ezekial o’mentata Yep It’s from the cookbook Apicius, this is an early predecessor to the burger. What you do is you take some lean pork meat. You’d soak some bread in sweet wine. You’d mash that into the lean pork. You wrap it in call fat, this is coming from the like internal lining of the organ of calves. I cannot deal with your hair right now. What do you mean? This is just it’s freaking me out. So you wrap the burger patties in call fat, simmer in grape juice. Just washed it in dirt which is what all the cool people are doing nowadays. Can you pour some of the wine, tear up this bread with your hands Okay Pour the wine in there. We need to get that soaking so we can sort of emulsify it, it’s almost an early predecessor to both the sausage and a burger. What happened to all that upper body strength? Listen, man, it’s just like sometimes Flabia bro. Things are just too tight, like I don’t even think you could open this. Flabia I can, yeah you think I can’t? Not at all. It’s yeah It’s oh, I loosened it. Pour it in the bread we need the bread soaking. Oh cool yeah. I’m taking all spice berries and I’m smashing these up. How much? With a mortar and pestle. Like fully cover it dude, we’ll drink the wine after. Fully covered. It’s actually common to soak bread in wine and then just drink the wine and then also just eat the bread as a sock That was the thing. Is that covered? Yeah it’s good enough. Good to just kind of splash around, mash it up with your hands. We’re gonna get a little dirty today. Yeah yeah yeah. Just flip flop around in there. I don’t like splashing, splashings lame. You’re very, very tough. Yeah. What’s your favorite moment in gladiatorial combat? Like when you’re up there in the stands, I imagine you go. Oh man, I’m always in, I’m in the first, you know the first section. Your dad got you season tickets didn’t he Always. I really like it when the animals come out. Yeah. Because I own a lot of animals that I’m not supposed to. That makes sense yeah like what kind of animal? Do you got like peacocks, you got tigers out there that was a big thing Oh yeah. All of those. And I’ve also got like a little dog. Was that a common thing? Did they like have little dogs back then? Yeah I mean the tougher you are the smaller the dog is. Guess that makes sense. I wanna put a comment out there. I love seeing like old, tough, like guys wearing gold chains with the tiniest dogs. Yeah I mean, Especially in Glendale, I see that a lot. There’s no overcompensating you got a tiny little dog. Poor guy No I think that’s manly to be a big dude whose not afraid to love a little dog. That’s why I’m a cat man. Oh yeah. You know, like if I had like a pit bull, you know, because like me, like I’m a big, tough guy, like that would have a pit bull Do you have like something for my ouchie? I cut my finger and that stuff is like, Did you actually cut your finger though? I did have a little cut. Oh snap yeah we could get you a bandaid. I need you to squeeze all the juice out of the grapes. Just go in there Squeeze juice out of grapes? And just start squeezing it. And then we’re gonna strain it in here and we’re gonna simmer this. I’m gonna pound out this meat. You didn’t have meat grinders back then so you had to just pound your meat in a mortar and pestle. Speaking of pounding meat, you’re doing that like what? Two, three times a day to keep strong? There it is, get in there come on Flabia. Put your whole labia into that. I’m just gonna pound the hell out of this meat. This is a lot harder than it looks. This is gonna take a while. Flabia’s hands are wet. I, what do you want? No, okay, oh God. I guess I am a servant in this context. I don’t, listen, a lot of the things we study in history, it’s like, well back then they would all go to the gladiator and back then they would have big public festivals and it’s like, no, back then you toiled and you died. That was what 99.9% of people did. And rich A holes like him. Sorry, please don’t have me killed for sport. I’m not, I’m like a cool dude. You’re one of the cooler people? Yeah I’m one of the cool ones who should have been a gladiator. Well, be cool, Why do you wanna be a gladiator so bad? I mean the life expectancy of a gladiator was 27. You know how old are you? I am 12. You had to grow up quick back then. Yeah you can tell cuz of all my chest hair. Yeah. Super manly And the boobs that I have We’re taking call fat right here. Whoa! So this, yeah, this is the fat that’s like on the lining, the internal organs of a baby cow. And so we’re taking some of this like old timey burger mixture and we’re gonna, yeah you like that? This looks like a pretty, pretty dress. Don’t don’t put it on your face. You can get a disease. Don’t put it on my face? And they did not have cures back then. Pff, says you. There’s plenty of stuff to rub in my stuff. What kind of stuff do you rub in your stuff? I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s like moss. Yeah that makes sense. Like moss and like dirt and then, I mean, probably this, I pour that on everything. Yeah I feel like liquor solves, that’s something that will not change is that, you know, it can solve a lot of physical ailments. Oh yeah it solves all the problems. Babies crying. Boom give them a little j-mo. Oh yeah, my dad used to like rub just wine on my teeth when I was a kid. Did he actually? That was like a thing? Yeah, totally. Wait you’re talking Emily or Flabia? I don’t know what my parents did. Yeah me neither, I feel like they didn’t, they weren’t the parents that like read the books. I don’t, I do remember one time as a kid that my, we would go like on hiking things with other families. And if it were just the dads, I remember one time they forgot to bring water, but they did have beer. Classic dad move. And I remember going, “Dad, I’m so thirsty.” We’re gonna sear this off. And then we’re gonna strain it in the grape juice. That kind of looks like a section of Lord Z. What is Lord Z? From power Rangers. Oh yeah! Or who is the guy from stranger things? Ugh, dec, decels, What’s? Decels? Vecel, vec? Vecna! Vecna! Vecna! I didn’t watch it. Vecna and his buddy Decels, they’re out here to take over the world. Ugh, smell this. I mean, everything they made back then reeked of wine. Like you see very similar flavorings of things That just smells like raw meat. Grape juice, wine, fermented fish blood. Like that was a lot of the flavor they were working with, which we got some of the fish stuff coming up later. Man! Which is pretty fun. Do you understand like the sexual attraction to gladiators? Cause that’s what I’m fascinated by like, do you watch like MMA and you’re just like, yeah give me that. Mm. I mean, I don’t watch MMA and go yeah gimme that while they’re fighting. Yeah but then like some of the dudes are just naturally hot. I mean, they’re specimens. What about want and violence? Is that, do you like that? No! I’ve never been in a physical fight before. Really? No and I don’t wanna be. So what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna take, Did I do a good job? Hold this. Bro you did awesome my little 12 year old best friend. Hold that over this, we’re gonna steam these in grape juice. Let that reduce then flip it. Oh! There it is. It’s kind of heavy. There it is. Just stay strong, stay strong. Alright, cool so we’re gonna steam these in the grape juice get them flipped and that’s your ezekial o’mentata. It smells. It means no worries. The plant ash. What you do is you take a rip roaring hot like oven or I don’t know we used a cast iron, we’re gonna throw it in the oven and you just put in some plant scraps. We got some Okay. Carrot skins. We got some green onion. We got some like scallion stems here. And we’re just gonna burn the heck outta these until it creates ash. And then that is what’s gonna increase calcium in your bones. They literally, archeologists literally found this out by like doing DNA samples of dead gladiator bones and found out they had a lot more calcium and they’re pretty freaking sure, Pliny the elder referenced a plant ash drink that’s mixed with vinegar and honey and water, which is called aposka back in Roman times that gladiators would drink. Some people were also like, yo, maybe they were just eating a lot of dairy, sucking down some cheese, you like the cheese? I do. We’re eating this instead. Who’s your favorite gladiator? Who’s taking, who’s taking the ship? Claudius the big and beefy Beef supreme Claudius as some of them called him. What’s his signature move? What’s his finisher? He sits on your face. You had to pay extra to see those shows back then. I don’t think he kills them he just like maims Well, no, that’s a big part of it, so most gladiators didn’t get killed in the arena. Well, you had like a one in four to one in five shot of getting killed, which isn’t great if you have more than four or five fights, but most didn’t. A lot yielded or they were put up to the public vote. You see the famous scene in gladiator, right? Where you’ll, it’s a movie. You know Joaquin Phoenix, great work. I was thinking about doing a Joaquin Phoenix impression but then I was like Busy little beat. Yeah be like a little sissy weirdo. You know, kind of. Well his character Commodus was actually a huge fan of gladiators. Commodus actually fought in the gladiatorial arena himself. Except he would only, this is absolutely true, he was like famous for saying that he had slain thousands of wild beasts and they’d literally like tie a bears paws up and march him up to him with a bunch of guards. This guy sounds like somebody who like knows how to get stuff done. Like he gets it. Yeah. I mean, why make it harder for yourself if you can just like incapacitate something first. Yeah he really would. It’s actually pretty sad You know. Also, do you wanna see a scene from gladiator? I sure do. I don’t think you’re, It’s pretty good right? We’re gonna let this burn. Maggie and Ben like it. They get it. They’re film school kids I don’t know. We’re gonna burn these into ash and then we’re gonna mix it into our aposka. Oh I’m gonna see my dead wife. I am Maximus Venereal Wugati Leviosa Venereal. Husband to a murdered son, brother to a murdered wife, man to a murdered doorman. You can take my life Joaquin Phoenix, but you’ll never take my freedom. I really don’t remember a ton of it. I remember liking it though. I remember from that is Venereal and brother to a wife so I’m immediately enthralled by the story. All right so we’re gonna make our plant ash. We got, do you wanna taste some of this? You can bench press, dude you’ll be bench pressing like four rocks at that point. Oh, nice I have wicked osteoporosis. Yeah yeah it’s pretty gnarly huh? So, but again, like that’s what, listen, that’s what they would drink. And we’re making the ash right now, we’re gonna make our little drinky drink. And also, like I mentioned, sports science was like weirdly a big business because gladiator combat was such a big business. And then the Christians came in and they like completely decimated it because they were like, yo not very Christlike to, you know, cut bears heads off and have people fight to the death. And they’re like, yeah, but it f’n rules dude. And so you had these sports scientists who would literally like debate the proper diet for gladiators. Like some were like yo these gladiators too flabby, they need more protein. They’re like, no, no, no we want the flab which is like really reminiscent of today’s like high carb versus low carb. What do you do? So like everything we’ve ever done, are you okay? I legit thought I was gonna barf. Gotta get your bones strong. So you’re gonna take some of this plant ash, I just started thinking, wow, this tastes like burnt coffee grounds. And then I was, Highly carcinogenic if we’re being honest And I was like, I bet this is the same consistency as a roach. Yeah. And then I started thinking about it too much and then my head wouldn’t stop, it was like roach, roach, roach, roach, Roach! And then I like, couldn’t get it outta my head. I thought I was gonna barf in front of you, which is not good. YouTube doesn’t like it. Shockingly you’ve never barfed in front of me. We’ve been out drinking Yeah I have! A fair amount. Have you? Yeah I’m pretty sure with Agropena the younger. All right so check this out come over here. No I am not Give it a whiff! It smells of fish. Gosh, I’m gonna barf. Smell the fish juice. I’m gonna barf into that pot. Don’t barf into the pot. That was probably a Roman recipe too. I remember that. I meant like out at bars. Oh, you’re never gonna see me do that. Yeah, no, I. I swallow that baby. No I don’t. I go to the bathroom and then I puke a little and I pee because every time, do you ever like pee when you puke? No? All right so we added to our alposka right here. We got a lot of that plant ash for building you strong bones homey. And then we got our honey, we got our vinegar in here. You put the cripkeeper in my mouth. I know and now we gotta drink it. What? Well, before then let’s go to a, let’s go to a party. Oh, okay. All right so we can’t talk about gladiator food without talking about the Cana Libera, right? So you have all these incredible foods. What are you holding? Oh, I was waiting for a moment to tell you that I have a senatorial decree. They entrusted me to give it to you. Apparently you’re an important guy. Oh please, I mean, I’m just, just a humble, you know, chef. I mean we have 3.5 million followers across, okay. The golden tee of mythicality is back. Right now you can visit mythical.com for a chance to randomly win one of three unique prizes. If you find the rose tee, you win a virtual taste test with Rhett and Link, big, powerful gladiators. Ooh One of them bigger and more powerful than the other. Find the, The little guy must feel inadequate. Find the aqua tee and you when mega beast passes to mythicon for you and a friend this October, including airfare and hotel. And finally, if you have the gold tee of mythicality, you and a friend will be flown to LA on an all expenses paid trip to our studio where you’ll hang out with us, enjoy a mythical kitchen dinner, that’s right in here dude, accommodations at a glitzy Hollywood hotel and more. Check out mythical.com to enter for a chance to win one of these incredible experiences, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited, visit mythical.com. now for details. How’s that for a senatorial decree, you ever seen anything like that? This thing is so heavy, bro. Man, we gotta. Ow! We gotta drink that ‘poska dude, we gotta get some plant ash in you. The Canal Libera, so that was the big public banquet where that they literally used as like a marketing tool for the event. So you’d have the editor, the person who put on the games, right? That was called the munus. They would throw this big public banquet. They would also hire people to like graffiti the walls being like yo going down, new gladiator combat. Yeah. They’d put up posters. And then they would would have this giant public banquet serving big fancy food that might be the last meal for the gladiators. So it’d be a lot of fancy food. They’d have senators there. The wives hobb nobbin, smelling the sweat off the hair, the gladiators getting all horned up and they’d be eating stuff like this bay and seafood stew, which we’re about to make right now. Do you hear a cricket? No, that is just the death nell of all the fallen gladiators. We’re gonna pour a bunch of mussels into the pot. Right now we’re just steaming them. Once you steam them, we’re gonna pour a bunch of ice wine. Whoa! This is an incredibly sweet white wine that we can, Oh my God! What is that? The stone tablet is working down here? Oh! My knees. Oh God, me too. Oh, I can’t even. Oh, cheese rice, man, we’re too old. I mean, you’re 12, but like what was the drinking age in Rome? There’s no age of drinking. Everybody drinks, man. Can you start shucking some oysters for me? Ugh maybe? What, you never shucked an oyster? I thought you were a big, tough dude. This is basically a Roman gladius, this is basically a sword. My mom says I’m not allowed to play with knives, but I’ll watch the mussels. You watch the mussels. I’ll start shucking some moister than an oysters over here. I’ve seen people do this and it makes you very nervous. Yeah Like how do you not cut your hand? Shouldn’t you have a glove? Sometimes you do, no you use a towel, dude. I’ve seen people with like metal gloves. Oh yeah that’s probably better. You just gotta find the opening and jam and twist. You should just get Claudius to do it. Super easy. No, it’s super easy, I’m super strong, I could also be a gladiator. No, see I can feel it. What if we just can’t do this part! I can, I can feel it. Shh. Why do we have to be quiet? Shh, I’m trying to concentrate. Bro this one doesn’t have an opening. So what you get it in the little crack? No okay, so just be careful, be careful, be careful. Well you were having, No hold on! No I’m trying it, no, I don’t know, but I thought you were gonna have the towel. Y’all were just gonna make me do it before and then you saw how hard it was. Oh my God dude do I keep shattering the shell? Y’all barely even let me chop up parsley, you think I can open this like ancient beast? Bro I just keep breaking the shells. That’s not gonna be a good. Oh my God finally, Jesus Christ. That’s going to be, oh, oh! We got one. Bradley Cooper and Burt did a million and I got one. That’s a throwback to a rant video. But did he really do it? No, people like calculated the numbers on it. Then you scrape away the adductor mussel. You know boom! Nice oyster. You wanna slurp it? Hang on. It’s got a lot of shell, there’s gonna be a lot of shell in there. There’s just like a lot of shell in there. There’s going to be like so much shell in there. Do you got some sauce? Is that vinegar? No so this is garam. So this is the lifeblood. No, no, no, I know what that is. Smell the fish. Josh I’m gonna throw up. Smell the fish juice! I know exactly what that is. No we got the good stuff, dude, we got the store bought stuff. I don’t care, man. Last time we fermented our own tuna blood in the parking lot in Burbank. I remember it. This time though we got the good stuff. Try it. Nuh-uh, I’m not doing that. Be a big tough gladiator boy. I am a woman that’s in a costume okay? Garam is the stuff we made with Agropena. No! I am, You don’t even know what it is. I don’t and I don’t like that. Why not? I like to know what’s going in my mouth. There’s nothing bad, it’s just jellyfish It is a dating requirement of mine. Okay, let me, Yeah, no, listen always enthusiastic too. Let me smell. It’s ice, okay. It’s like the closest thing you’re gonna get. You got red bull, ice water. You’re holding it away. Garam. Which one? No. It smells really good. It smells like the most potent body odor you’ve ever smelled, but in a good way, I like that. I’m into that. A lot of shell? Wait it’s still attached. That was my bad I forgot to do that. Oh, it’s so oceany. Also, nobody mentioned we just got a bunch of oysters right here. This is the thickest fudging oyster. Just sopping wet. Just I don’t wanna do it, did you do it? There, I ate it. No I don’t want to throw up, I got a meeting after this man. Vomiting in this meeting. It really does taste It’s pretty good. It’s a good oyster? Yeah no we got them from whole foods. So you know when you’re like in the ocean and you’re like having a good time when you’re not paying attention and then a wave just like smacked you in the face, Gets you right in the face. And then you come up. You’re like, Here, smell these mussels. That’s what that’s like Smell the mussels boiled in wine. This is pretty good stuff. And this is an actual ancient Roman dish. Ooh that’s nice A lot of the Roman foods back then, they had certain, before the Columbian exchange, you were pretty limited to whatever the heck grew around you. So you had a lot of dates. They had a pretty substantial vegetable program. They were growing beets, they were grow carrots, they had celery, all that. But like you really had a lot of herbs too. We’re using brew, we’re using savory, we’re using marjoram in there. They grew a lot of pine nuts, a lot of olives were very common, but like their main flavorings were like fermented tuna spines and wine. So you take a bunch of creatures from the ocean and they loved eating exotic stuff. They’d be like, yo, gimme some peacock tongues. Give me some roast squab. Like whatever door mice were really popular. Also sea creatures. So you live by the sea, you’re getting jellyfish. And they’re like, chop that up, boil it in some wine, let’s feed it to some fricking gladiators. Man. My mouth tastes the way it smells. Now we must build our stew for their final meal before they probably get stabbed or like eaten by a lion or just like a pissed off emperor comes down and just goes like peasant Oh, he never comes down. He never comes down? No he’s up in a box just to get away from all the, the, Yeah, the riff raff. The riff raff, which even includes me, even though I am a nobleman’s child. Where do you sit? And like, are you tailgating out there? I’m in the front usually. And then I come and go as I please, sometimes I go over to the, so the pres, not the president, because I don’t think that exists yet. Democracy is not a thing. Um no, no, no. They like invented democracy. I should have researched more. They did, they had like a pure, that was like why the kept the republic to 10,000 citizens cause they invented democracy and they also represented democracy with the senatorial campaigns. But then they found out that representative democracy only leads to demagoguery and massive corruption. And ultimately people feel disenfranchised by it and things will all eventually die and go up in flames, so that we can take any lessons from that. In democracy, so people voted for people to die in a pit? Yeah no, no, no people loved it. Like for real, this was literally, I mean there’s the, the term bread and circuses right? Keep people entertained, you know, to distract them from the wanton corruption going on and like gladiatorial combat was like, that was it. That was it! You know, you think about it, the gladiator stuff is like the first YouTube. People were like and this. So we got some celery, we got some dates in here. We’re gonna take all of those Those are dates? shucked mussels. Yeah these are dates, try some dates Oh yay so then, You’re gonna take all these fat boy oysters and we’re gonna dump them right in there for the seafood stew. And then dude, Flabia you gotta try the jellyfish. I don’t want to. Okay. Take a little bit. We’re eating it at the end, you might as well try it. Jellyfish! You take the body, mince it up, kind of crunchy. Kind of crunchy and it makes you sad? This is just plain, it’s supposed to be seasoned and it will be. All of it tastes the same, but with different levels of crunchiness. And that’s fun but now we’re all cooking it together. That one’s the crunchiest In a seafood casserole In case you were wondering. It really is crunchy. We’re gonna season it up with some pine nuts right here. Why doesn’t it sting anymore? Beautiful. Well, those are are, its like tentacles. This is the body. But I think you can eat jellyfish tentacles too. Have a little splash of that ice wine in there. Nice. Just to sweeten it up. And then garam. Garam is the fermented fish sauce. They call this the Roman ketchup and that we’re just gonna season, if you didn’t think there was enough seafood stink in there. And this ooh, if you are not turned on by the gladiator sweat and the hair clips that are dipped in the blood, you sure will be with this jellyfish stew. Speaking of I was hoping to get a sample. Oh I’m not, I’m not a gladiator. I, I just cook for, Yeah I almost got one, hang on. Okay that’s fine. I guess they can’t tell if it’s real. Like I don’t know if she was even in that bathwater. I mean I’ll hold this one on, hold onto this one. You ready to eat? Yeah. Let’s do it. Okay. Flabia Nepotismus, welcome to your canal libera. This is your feast for your gladiator training. How excited are you to eat all this? Warm oyster stew! Yay! Come on this is gonna be exciting. Come on, take a bite, take a big bite. We got the warm oyster stew. We got our beautiful bay and seafood stew. We got our ezekial o’mentata right here. Of course you got your classic olive, dates, grapes, cheeses, nuts, bunch of roast game birds back here. We got this black chicken you want some of that? No. Okay well you know, all you can do is offer. I’m gonna take one of these bad boys. Dig into the stew. You ready? I’m scared Josh. Why? Because I can smell it. It’s good. It, listen, this is mostly just jellyfish and wine and a ton of oysters. I’m afraid. Why? Don’t be afraid. Come on this is good. If people 2000 years ago thought it was good. Do I get a whole oyster? Oh this is a fat I’m not getting a whole oyster, I’m gonna get some of these and some dates. I gotta put some jellyfish on it. Cheers. You can always wash it down with a plant ash Gatorade. How are you liking it? It’s not bad. It’s not bad. Oh jellyfish. If you swallow a little bit it’s attached. Yeah it’ll slide right down. It’s like a fettuccine noodle you ever like go to the bathroom after Olive Garden and you see a whole fettuccine noodle and you’re like what happened there? No, just me? These are flavors that I’ve never encountered with each other. The weirdest thing to me is the dates. Yeah the dates are odd, but they are kind of helping I think. The sweetness really adds a lot to it. The garam seasoning it up. Yeah. The ice wine like I get it. I get it, it is not my go-to order. I’d rather have like a clam chowder or something. Oh yeah. It does kind of give me clam chowder, esque stuff. It’s just the seafood soup. All right let’s get the next thing out of the way. Yes. To be clear of the one, Shout to Max Miller of tasting history, he actually made this and he was also similarly flummoxed with how much ash to put in. He probably put in about one eighth the ash pf what we did and we made our own ash and he got like food safe ash. What’s his name again? Max, Max Miller. Max help me. All right, here we go. Why is my cup bigger than yours? Drink it. You need stronger bones. I got strong bones I do CrossFit. Oh yeah, get stronger bones. I’m gonna do, let me show you how tough I am when I eat, when I drink this. Smells like salt and vinegar chips. Big tough guy. Why is it cold? It’s good what do you mean why is it cold? It’s gladiator Gatorade, it’s meant to regenerate your bones. This is good as hell. Okay. Ah gah gah. You don’t like it? It’s like apple cider vinegar, but like cold and smokey. I’m in. This just, if you added a shot of Mescal to this, this is a good drink to me. No If you filter it out because I just got like a whole mouthful of charred leek. Here have some bird. I don’t bird. Have some bird. I don’t want the bird. You get the back. Okay fine I’ll eat the bird, I’ll eat the bird. You know what I’m interested in, I’m interested in this bread with the little nub. Here, take some bread. Because we got the ezekial o’mentata here, these are those beautiful pound pork patties that I’m calling a precursor to the burger. Yeah. And listen, you’re out there. You’re at the thermopolia, outside the Coliseum right? Ready for the munus, Oh yeah Ready to watch some yupper stab a bear in the face. You’re basically eating a hamburger. I’m gonna make a cheeseburger out of this. Grab bread. This is perfect for when you’re doing the chants. All the chance for the, What are the chants you got? We will, we will throw rocks at you. Oh wow this is big. My mouth is gonna need, okay. I’m making an ancient cheeseburger. Awe this is, I think that Claudius the beefy would really, really appreciate this. All right. Cheers. What the hell are we doing? Ow. Wait a minute. This is delightful. Oh yeah. This is hand pounded. Like herbs and stuff in there. Dude the all spice berries are so prominent. It’s really nice. This is a great cheeseburger. Y’all knew how to live back then. You’re out there getting hammered, making love to senator’s wives, killing each other you know what I mean? Yeah I’m just imagining somebody with this soup, like getting up and cheering people on, like scalding all their friends. I mean they would’ve been taking these meat patties and just like, you know, slamming them with their bare hands. That’s all it was, just eating the whole bird, just sucking down figs, drinking wine like there was no tomorrow. Mm. Roman empire for all of its faults, they knew how to eat. Yeah this is pretty good. And I kind of like the membrane. Yeah the call fat. Thing around it. Is that what it is? The membrane? Call fat. Oh it’s fat. Oh, I mean, it’s, it’s a membrane, but yeah, I mean it’s just a fatty membrane. Mm. Oh man. The bread that we soaked in the wine that we pounded in there, give it or I was, I thought it was gonna be dry because it’s a really lean meat. It’s really fun. When you’re soaked enough bread in wine and put that into all your foods, you’re gonna have a good time. Okay, you totally regained my faith in this whole endeavor. Uh huh? This is very good. I, you know, I probably will not be requesting this in any point of my life moving forward. Yeah I can see that. But same goes for that, but this yeah, I’m into it, man. I mean this ancient cheeseburger though, I’m eating this as many chances as I can get. Oh yeah. Ooh. We got the death cam That means one of us have to kill each other We’re on the death came? Dude! We never get on the death cam! Oh my, this is crazy. This is crazy. We’re on the, Are you not entertained? My hands are so greasy. There’s so much, Emily, there’s so much grease on your neck. Listen I’m really worried about the wrinkles on my neck anyway so I think this is for the best. Thank you so much for stopping by Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every week. I’m choking on a burger. We got new episodes of our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, wherever you get your podcasts every Wednesday. Hit us up on Instagram and TikTok at Mythical Kitchen with pictures of your mythical dishes under the hashtag dreams come food. We’ll see you all next time. Flabia! No! No! My daddy’s gonna kill you, dude. You’re too hot to handle it and so is your bake ware, get a mythical kitchen oven mitt available now at mythical.com