That’s all grease right there. Grill it off. Just griddle it off. This is going inside somebody. You have no idea how delicious this is gonna be. The good thing is we have all that, we have all that mayonnaise to catch the grease. Welcome to Mythical Kitchen, where dreams become food. Today in Kitchen Stadium, four competitors enter in battle, breakfast burrito. But we do not only hunger for eggs, tortilla’s, breakfast meats and cheese rolled up. No, no, no. Today, we hunger for battle! Oh, I didn’t have an apple. We’re gonna, me and Vianai are gonna make a breakfast burrito. They’re gonna make a breakfast burrito. We’re gonna see who makes the best breakfast burrito. That’s it. That’s the show. When he grabbed the cabbage? I asked him, is this gonna pay off? And he said no, and he lied Let’s go! It’s the battle of breakfast burritos, baby. Light it up! Wow, Nicole! Look at all of our burrito ingredients. Wow! We have all of the things that we need to make a burrito. No, I don’t think so. No, we’re starting with our meat. So, Nicole and I have chosen to do a barbacoa burrito. Yeah. You’re probably familiar with barbacoa from the Chipotle. Yep. Which is pretty similar to what we’re doing. We’re gonna basically just make some really long stewed meat. That’s right. Love long stewed meat. Yep. And okay, so Nicole wanted me to show you this really cool thing. Yes. That she apparently didn’t realize was a thing until today. I had no idea. I got a beef stock, and when you pour it, you’ll notice it like glug glugs out, actually already did the thing, so I can’t really show you. But if I cover up this hole and you pour it, then it like glugs out – It does this glugging. like that and it splashes. But if you poke a hole in the top, science, you’re no longer creating a vacuum and it just pours smoothly. That blew my mind, you guys. Yeah, crazy stuff. That is just the most insane thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like apparently shotgunning and a beer, which I’ve only done once. If you wanna go back to the COVID videos that we did, that was my first and only time, shotgunning and a beer, we’ll never do that again. So, we’re gonna make some barbacoa. Yeah! Exciting. We are not going to do any sort of heat initially on our beef. No, we’re not. Listen, a lot of people assume if you’re going to braze meat, you have to render it a little bit first in the beginning but that’s not always the case. You don’t need the maillard reaction to happen from that. You can just have it from a long, beautiful stewed piece of meat. Yeah, and we can crisp it up after we’re done, also if we want to, That’s the plan. if we wanna get some more crisp on it, we can. Nicole got some onions going in there. Yep. Got some Old Bay just kidding, it’s bay leaves. But it’s, Nicole asked if it was fresh bay because like fresh bay leaves, but they’re not fresh bay. So I said old- You’re ridiculous. Like these seasonings. You’re ridiculous. Anyway, you squeeze the limes. Yeah, this is. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oregano? Yeah, ground Oregano. Ground Oregano. Let’s just get a lot of that going in there. Wow. We’re basically just gonna put all this in, mix it up, put it in the oven and let it go for like five hours until it’s tender. Trevor, if I lose this, I think I’m going to apply for buzzfeed. Really? Like I can’t lose one more. Nicole! We’re not gonna lose! If I lose one more battle, I am not battling anymore. Because you wanna know what we have? You’re all witness to that. If I lose this one, I’m out, I’m out. We have the power of friendship. We do. We have the power of friendship and stewed meat. Meat. A pretty essential key ingredient for meat. Apple cider vinegar, can I get a little acid? A little bite? Nice, I think that’s very necessary to this. Garlic and some diced green chilies, we’re using the canned version. Yeah We did not dice these ourselves. Nope. They’re good out of a can put them in there. Some people might find that controversial but we think the flavor is nicely developed and it will develop more once you cook it longer, so don’t be a hater! Don’t be a hater! We also don’t have a utensil to stir this with, so I’m gonna pantomime it, if we could get a spoon and post. Can we get a spoon and post? Can we get a spoon and post? Can we get a, can we get a spoon and post? Oh my God! It’s all stirred up, look at that, okay. But bonk that off there. And then we’re gonna pop this in the oven for about five hours. Hey welcome back to our cooking show, we were not doing K-pop moves in the kitchen. Why would you tell them that? I don’t know. Why would you tell them that we weren’t? Maybe they like K-pop and they want us to do K-pop. I only know one K-pop song and it’s Black Pink – “How You Like That” Black pink is good. Yeah. I like that song a lot. Black Pink is very good. I just wish I could do the thing where they go like this, you know? Body roll? I mean mine’s like decent. Do you think that… I did eight years of dance class Do you think if you really practice hard, maybe one day you could? It’s not on the top of my list right now. Should we talk about what we’re cooking? No. Oh, okay. I think they can deduce what’s going on. Can you deduce? This is like Dora the Explorer. Like we just say it, pause for 15 seconds and go. Great, you did it! Let’s see if you and I can be silent for 15 seconds. Can you deduce what’s gonna happen right now? What’s the point of your not gonna seriously try? Pretty important parts of breakfast burrito, in our opinion, maybe not Josh’s, Cuz I don’t even know if this is going in his burrito. I don’t even know what he says. Taters and eggs. So we’re doing, we’re doing some pretty simple egg scramble with some bell peppers and onions. Yep. And then we’re doing some chorizo spiced potatoes, because we like chorizo. But we chose to not add actual chorizo in because we didn’t wanna do meat on meat. That’s right. So we’re doing chorizo spice potatoes, so it’s gonna be a lot of ancho chili powder, it’s gonna give a lot of that chorizo flavor without actually having any extra meat in there. I’m very excited to try these hella spice potatoes. There’s also paprika. Okay. Chili powder, ground oregano, Wow. onion powder Okay, big. Garlic powder Huge Salt, pepper and… Looks like coriander. Coriander. Ah. This pan is colder than my mother’s heart. Whoa. This is ridiculous, it’s been on for, for for days. Let me hit it with a little Trevor magic. Oh, I really thought you were gonna body roll at it. I’m just so, I’m just so. All right, that’s enough taters. Beaten up by how much I lose, it’s emotionally Nicole Difficult for me to be here. You just have to remain confident, and guess what? No matter what, What? This is gonna be a good breakfast burrito. Yeah, that’s right, cause we’re cooking it together. Yeah. And we can, we can cook together and be successful. I should have put these spices in a bowl so I could mix them. Ooh, I like those colors. It’s like, you know that sand art that you do when you were a kid Yeah! and you get the bottle of sand with all the different colors. I fricking love sand art. That was cool. Hey, you think your breakfast burrito is gonna be good? I think it’s gonna suck. What? I think their breakfast burrito is gonna suck. Yeah, you know Josh does get a little over ambitious sometimes. Yeah. And I think this might be, you know, one of those scenarios. Yeah. Also I made too much spices for the amount of potatoes that I ended up using. That’s okay. So if you need extra spices for anything, I’ve got this plate here. I’m okay. And I’m gonna roast the potatoes now. Go for it, that was the longest cooking beat of life. Burrito time. That was good. We got our beef done and our taters done. Taters is roasted and the meat here is looking positively tender. That’s right. Look at that, I’m gonna shred some in a bowl really quick. How about you just show them how tender it is by pushing it down. Show them! Show them how tender! I don’t have a spoon. Wow! That was tender. I know I look like a very strong person but I genuinely put no muscle into that. Speaking of soft, these tortillas are the best tortillas freaking ever. Not joking actually, these are actually our preferred Mythical Kitchen tortillas. They’re also the preferred tortillas of Sporked. Whoa. Our sister company Sporked that does amazing food reviews, they love these tortillas and so do we. So we’re gonna use them. We’re gonna use them. You should head over to their website, they have amazing stories and blog posts and things of that nature. So check it out. I like these tortillas cause they’re big and you can fit a lot of stuff in them. They are humongous. More ingredients. Look at these black ass potatoes. Eat one! Look at these. It’s just the ancho chili powder. I’m going to eat one. It tastes like chorizo. Nicole, who are you rooting for? Myself. Wait, wait, wait, those are delicious potatoes. They’re good, they just look like that because that’s what ancho chili powder looks like. No, those are delicious. They actually have a really deep dusky flavor, just like chorizo. I think it’s really, really delicious. You did a standup job. See, see? Thank you! You can cook. Anyone can cook, that’s from Wall-e or something. Wall-e. I’m adding my eggs and peppers. Those are very good looking eggs, Nicole. I’m very proud of you, the cook on those eggs looks perfect. Thank you, these are my Holiday Inn eggs. Oh, they’re beautiful. Holiday Inn is a good hotel. You’re putting all the eggs. Okay, I’m putting down the eggs. You’re really egging it. There’s a lot of stuff to put in here. Yeah, you did put a lot of eggs. Okay, you want me to get rid of some of them? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, I’m gonna tell you the truth, burrito architecture, not my strong point. No, that’s okay. I believe in you. But I’m gonna try my best. I trust you and I’m here for you. Yeah. And I think it’s gonna be a good burrito, and I don’t care what Josh says. I don’t care what he says either. Yeah I’m just kidding. Well I do sometimes. I honestly really respect his opinion. I do too. I think he’s a sweet young man. Yeah. He’s just growing, you know, he’s like learning, he’s like 31. How old is Josh? Fair, a fair bit older than me. I think he’s like one year older than me. One year? I think he’s one year older than me. Okay. Well then how old is you? Am I allowed to ask that? A lady never tells. Okay, do it with confidence or don’t do it at all, you know what I mean? You don’t have to go that fast, Shut up! Shut up! You can take your time. Okay, go, fold with confidence, yeah, tuck it, tuck. Tuck it, tuck it. Tuck it and frick it. Tuck it and fri- Doesn’t rhyme! So what we’re doing right now is after we’ve rolled it, we’re just gonna go ahead and seal it on a crepe maker, yes, this is meant for crepes but we use it for tortillas. Cooking the bottoms of our pizzas because our oven doesn’t work. Indubitably We also use it to warm our hands on a nice chili day, come on, do one of these. I’m constructing a burrito. Just do one of these. Hey, V! You know how we’re gonna beat Trevor and Nicole? What? Hey, V! You know how we’re gonna beat Trevor and Nicole? Wait bro. Say it into my good ear. With K-Pop body rolls. Do that the other way. Oh my spine. Do it the other way. I didn’t mean, did it look like I was doing the humping? All jokes aside, we’re putting pig ears in our breakfast burrito cause we’re not cowards. Yeah, yeah I know. We’re making a sisig breakfast burrito, which I’m really stoked on. Yes! You ever eaten Sisig? Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah I was literally about to say that, I cut you off. I feel bad cause I creatively steamrolled this burrito and made us put pig ears into it. And I’m really excited about it, Sisig is literally my favorite Filipino dish of all time. V, you gotta get excited. I’m excited! Filipino cookery. Cause I like Filipino food, I had a lot of friends who were Filipino growing up. Not that that matters in this moment, but they did. I ate a lot of lumpia. She swears she has a Filipino friend. Okay, so sisig, wait, we should talk about this. It’s typically made with a whole boiled pigs head. And like with the brain and all the extra parts. Well, not the brain. More so the ears in the cheek meat, that’s where you’re making money, the snout too can go in there. Okay. I’m a big fan, but a lot of restaurants will just use skin on pork belly and then pigs ears cause that gets you like most of the way there. I’m gonna kind of, I’m gonna breakfast it up with some good old fashioned fatty American bacon. You start hacking the hell outta that pork belly and the pig ears. Those pigs ears are tough, you gotta go two hands. There it is, yeah, hack away, V. Is there anything happening right now? You wanna switch? Yeah. Let’s do it. Let’s do it. Alright, saute take that bacon around, saute that bacon around, cause we gotta get some pork belly going. I like this better, it’s so relaxing, it’s like being at the bacon spa. Wait, pull that off, V. Pull that off V. Bacon’s getting too hot, bacon’s getting too hot. Okay, Okay Okay. We still gotta beat them in cooking. I got distracted, I got distracted. You gotta stop talking about getting facials. You gotta start cooking. Wait, no, no look, you gotta lower the heat, that’s what that knob right there is for. I used to go to the olive garden, not for facials. For facials? Not for facials. But what happens is the olive garden bathroom, stays in the olive garden bathroom. Lasagna. For the lasagna, but I used to go in fully wet swim trunks and just sit down in the chair cause I was a piece of crap. You’re the only person I know that will actually sit in a seat like wet or just like Yeah Or just like be soggy. That’s how you get trichinosis! You wanna try a pig ear? This one’s got some hairs on it, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, it would mean a lot to me. I like pig ear a lot. Cause it’s kind of gelatinous and crunchy? Cause we’re getting a lot of that cartilage. What happened? V! This is good. I’m telling you, okay, the reason I like, V’s touching my bathroom area. To be fair, I’ve only tried like Lumpia, some halo-halo and that’s about it. You don’t mess with the Kare-kare? I don’t think I’ve tried it before Dude, I thought about… I’m not very experienced with Filipino cuisine. Man, we got all… So you’re teaching me a lot right now, I’m kind of excited about it. Even though we have been eating a lot of pork in the kitchen lately. It’s a problem. I, I’ve learned that, that I, I don’t think I’m good at cooking. I think I’m good at just cooking pork in its own fat then putting hot sauce on it. So we added onion and we added ginger we added a garlic. Okay We’re gonna add some Thai chilis. Here V, keep these here. Dude. I don’t want that. They’re gonna think I’m Jeffrey Dahmer, bro. No, you’re fine, save it for later Oh, I dropped it. V! That was your- It went underneath the counter. We’re gonna add some Thai chili in there too. It’s lost. We’re gonna crank the heat on this. We’re just gonna get this sizzling away. Actually it smells very lovely. Yeah I like it a lot, I’m already excited. Here we go, here we go. This with huevos, Oh my god. Chili in there, we’re gonna drop. What’s pork in Spanish? Either Puerco or Cerdo, Cerdo I believe means more like pig Carnitas! Carnitas means… People are gonna hate me for saying that. It’s good right now. Yeah. We’re gonna hit it with soy sauce later. We’re just gonna let it render all down its own fat. Did you put some salt and pepper in there? Oh, it needs, oh yeah, dude, where’s the pepper? Yeah A lot of black pepper in there. Yeah, we like dank, yes we do. We like dank, how about you? V, we got our sizzling Sisig over here. This has been cooking down and I’ve just been slapping the hell out of it with a spatula trying to get all those good little bits. Did you put some soy sauce in there too? Little bit of soy, little bit of lemon here. Catch some burning pig ears in your mouth. You know damn well I’m not gonna do that. Well we’re gonna start frying up some eggs, We’re gonna put fried eggs in this. I wanna make a mayonnaise sauce cause when I make burritos at home, I kind of- Do you like mayonnaise in your burritos? Listen, I don’t- Or only in your breakfast burritos. I, mostly in my breakfast burritos. Unless it’s one of them like shrimpy burritos, you know. Or you got like, like, like the shrimps and avocados, Louisiana mayonnaise. I’m gonna make a little garlic fried rice. We’re just gonna get a ton of oil in there, like way too much oil. And we’re gonna put way too much garlic in way too much oil. And then we’re gonna take precook rice and we’re just gonna add that to this fragrant A S S garlic oil. And that’s gonna be in there, we’re gonna let that rest on there, I’m gonna take- Oh, this is fiery. A lot of this rice gonna crumble our rice in there, this is day old rice. Yeah, I like day old things. What other things do you like day old? Did you start saying something but then forgot that what you were saying didn’t make any sense. I’m glad you know how my brain works now. Bro, that’s, that’s half of the show. So we got the eggs cooked, we got our Sisig finished. Okay We’re just gonna gonna finish frying up this rice and then we can start rolling up this burrito. I’m ready for the roll. Body roll burrito. Body roll. Oh my back, this 30 year old back hurts so badly. No, you gotta do the burrito. No, I’m here this is my comfort zone. We got our tortilla heating on the crepe maker, always heat your tortillas before you roll it so it gets nice and pliable. V We got DJ V on the mic over here. Spitting, spinning, doing everything that she does. Everyone tip your DJ. Give V money. What’s your Venmo? Tell them What is my Venmo? Do you have creepy people Venmo you? I have creepy people just Venmoing me sometimes. I have people email me about what my Venmo is, I should just start sending it out, so I can get gas money. That’s what I’m saying. A gas expensive these days. You seen the price of pig ears? Are you confident in your burrito rolling skills? I am! Yeah? I got hot girl fingers. Remember? Yeah. This hot girl fingers not like that. It’s winter. Winter finger. Is it fall? What day is it? I wanna put the the eggs down first. No, what are you doing? Just turn the tortilla. Dude. I’m trying V, I’m trying my best. Okay. I didn’t say you weren’t. I was being a, a supportive friend. My best. I don’t have my pig ears on. I can’t hear you. There’s a lot of grease in this rice and I don’t care. It’s going in. I do not care how greasy this rice is. Listen, we’re going garlic chips. There’s just some nice fried garlic. Green onions? Yeah. Put some green onion on there. And then we’re putting the mayonnaise directly on the rice. Do it. I like your cholesterol burrito. Do it. Thank you. Not! Yeah, you do like my cholesterol burrito. You’re talking LDL or RDL. Then on top of the mayonnaise we’re going with all these crispy pig ears and pork belly and bacon and delicious aromatics. Okay. My bed ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta really smash it in there. Dude, there’s so much pork belly and pig going in this. Are you a, a turn and then tuck or are you a tuck and turn? I’m, I’m a, I’m a turn and tucker now. Oh you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always tuck just cause it feels better that way. If you can go up or down, you can go in the waistband or you can just go downward. My mom goes this way and that’s what I’m used to. But I like going this way. That way no, no, no, no! What the hell V! No, no, no, I got to turn the cutting board. What are you talking about? No, I lied. I’m gonna go this way. Yeah, that’s the way it’s supposed to go. Shut up. I come from a Mexican family. Leave me alone. I know. It’s so hot. I messed up, I messed up. Put it on the grill. No, you’re good. You’re good. You’re good. Just tuck it. Just pinky. Just pinky. A well placed pinky always helps. That’s all grease right there. Grill it off. Just griddle it off. This is going inside somebody. You have no idea how delicious this is gonna be. The good thing is we have all that, we all have all that mayonnaise to catch the grease. I added 10 times more boiled to that. I gotta go. You added boiled to it? There is not chicken in there. I gotta go home. V you do it. Do the outro. There’s no outro. Do the outro V. V do the outro. This is the outro. See you soon. Tim it is 6:15 PM on a Friday. How hungry are you for breakfast burritos? I’m ready for breakfast. I didn’t have breakfast today. Been waiting to have breakfast. What? So it’s big. It’s big. You waited just for this. You are the right guy for this. Do you feel equipped to make an impartial decision even though you clearly like V and I more. Shut up. I, I can be impartial. I feel like I can be impartial. I believe it. That’s good. Nicole and Trevor, would you like to present your burrito first for Tim? Tim today, for you we have a barbacoa breakfast burrito with some chorizo, spiced potatoes, smooshed avocado and some eggs. Eat it. And some other things. Yeah. Such as salsa verde and Tapatio. That’s correct. Okay. Alright, alright. Please enjoy. Should I just go right in? Bon appetit. Yeah Put it in your mouth and chew it. Let it throat down. Buen provecho. All right. Wow. Big mouth for a big boy. Oh, the big bite. I loved it. Oh yeah. Yeah! Oh, the barbacoa’s great. Yes, it’s really spicy not too spicy. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that’s a good bite. Cool. That’s huge. Now on this side Tim, we’ve taken inspiration from the Philippines. We have made a bacon pork belly and pig ear sisig. And then we have a garlic fried rice, a over easy egg, a little bit of sriracha aioli with some fresh garlic chips and scallions. Wow, that’s a lot of different things. You ever had anything like that before Tim? You ever seen anything that impressive in your life? I’ve not- He’s so unique. I’ve not, I’ve not seen- There’s, there’s an egg yolk, but it’s like down there. So get it, really throat it. Really throat it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean that’s a, that’s a problem on egg yolk placement so we’ll have to- Famous last words. Be shy. Enthusiasm’s half the battle. What is wrong with him? I don’t know. He’s so sexually aroused. He’s so weird. I’m so sorry. He’s so weird. Don’t worry about it. Wow. Okay. Alright. It’s completely different direction. Yeah I like the scallion. I like- Yeah we’re not Denny’s we’re like Downtown LA. We’re like from, you know, we’re like the real stuff. Yeah Did you find the egg yolk? No. Keep going. You can’t play a game with your food. It mean it would mean a lot to me if you found the egg yolk cause I don’t know where it went. You can’t help me find the egg yolk. That’s not how it works. You know, it would be really good if there was some egg yolk. You know, Can I try to find it? Dude, Just flip it over. Flip it. Take a bite from the other end. Well don’t, no, no cause if he flips it over he’s gonna see the grease. I don’t think you wanna see the grease. Why would you tell him about the grease? I can see the grease. Cause he’s already covered In grease. I think I can see the grease. We miscalculated about the grease. Let the man enjoy his burrito. Silence! He’s our tech guy need it. Shush! Sam is there a clear winner in your mind from one bite or do you think you need to find the freaking egg yolk? I think I can make a decision. Okay. I think I can make a decision. Uh-oh. I feel like this isn’t gonna go our way V. Nope. But Imma believe in him. Tim, please make your final decision. Oh yeah. I take responsibility. Guess what? I’m not going to Buzzfeed. Yeah. Oh. We did a great job! It’s okay. Are you going to Buzzfeed? They got a Denny’s basic burrito. Suck it! You guys- I will not. Tim, why do you hate me? I don’t hate anyone. God, it feels so good to win. But I am gonna take like- Trevor that’s like one outta eight. Leave me alone. He’s taking both. You gonna hold in there until the end of the video or are you gonna walk out? You enjoy, you deserve it. Bye Tim. Bye Tim. Thank you. Bye Tim. We love you. Thank you Tim. Yeah! Yes! Oh my God. Get frick. Scream at, slap me in face. Slap me in the face. Slap me in the face. Slap me in the face. I dare you. Dude, that’s fine. You ready? I’m not even tripping, bro. I’m not- Not every day is gonna be a good day for old Josh in the kitchen. You know what I’m saying? No, I’m very proud. Trevor, Nicole y’all made an awesome burrito. I gotta step up my game, you know. It’s good though, right? It’s good though. Wow. Thank y’all for your sportsmanship. I like when you hit me and when you told me to suck it. That was the moment. You asked for that, you asked for that. One more, one more. One more in the face. Oh God, I like it. All right, well thanks so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got episodes for you all the time, man. Never stops, never stops. Keeps going. Keeps rolling, rolling, rolling. Just like Limp Bizkit said, “We’ll see y’all next time.” Leave a comment below which breakfast burrito you’d like. Don’t you want the greasy one? Victory screech. I felt, I felt a pig hair. The Mythical Kitchen’s favorite way to obliterate garlic immortalized in t-shirt form. 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