Hey, welcome to Aprons Off, the show where we stop cooking and just kind of hang out with each other. And today we’re all pretty unhappy. And we are unhappy because we’re playing a game of ‘What’s In This Smoothie?’ where we will be presented with five mystery smoothies that each have five mystery ingredients in them. And we’re putting our palate- Lily, you’re dying over there. Yeah, she is not ready at all. We’re putting our palates on the line. We’re putting them to the test to see who can correctly identify the most ingredients. And some people might ask, “Is this a bit derivative of GMM?” Not at all. You know why? Because we have our own Mythical Kitchen barf bucket, just in case. We don’t know if these are good smoothies. We don’t know if these are gross smoothies. But what we do know is that we work here and we have created a lot of these ingredients and dishes for GMM. And so we are now all sitting here. I can feel the fear radiating from all of us. I didn’t sign up for this. Am I smelly? Didn’t you though? Did you order the code red? No. I’m sweaty already, in the armpits. I get sympathy sweats, too. When Vee starts sweating, I start sweating. It’s like an athlete thing. You ready for round one? Yeah, let’s do this. Let’s get it over with. All right, KG. Let’s go ahead and bring in that first smoothie. As Josh said, there will be five ingredients to identify, other than ice and almond milk will be in all of these smoothies. You get one point for each correct item. Go ahead and take your smoothie cup. Give a sip. No, not that one. It looks like somebody vomited up a can of creamed corn which already looks like somebody vomited up corn. Wait, do we write it down? It looks like double vomit. Double vomited corn. Wait, are we just smelling them? You just smelled it. No, I’m gonna taste it but I need to go off of my smell first. Go ahead and drink it when you’re ready. And guess your five guesses. Don’t look at mine. I’m kind of into it. I was worried at first. Now I’m just digging it down. Oh, that’s not bad. No, that’s great. No, that’s pretty solid. Okay. Uh-oh. You said five without the milk and the ice, right? That’s right. Okay. Do you think that we have trust issues? I don’t know what the other three are. Yes, I definitely have trust issues from working here. Like in your relationships or like just here? Just here No, from here. Yeah, it makes sense. I’ve seen you make a lot of goop, Josh. I don’t trust you now. I like goop. Goop is good. Not Gwyneth Paltrow Goop. She believes in putting different things in different parts that I don’t agree with. Yeah? I’m trying to make some educated guesses here. Hold on, hold on. We’re going. Please finalize your guesses. Okay, uno mas. I’m not right. Hold on. Hmm, wait. I need one more. I need one more. I have my guesses down. Okay. All right, will you go ahead and clear the smoothie please? Wait, can I keep mine? Thank you for the lovely treat. It was Trevor. Trevor’s making ’em. Thank you, Trevor. Thank you, Trevor. Vee, let’s hear your guesses. Okay, so I guess pineapple, strawberry, banana, apple, water. Josh I guess banana, coconut, pineapple, macadamia nut, and I said sea salt. I punted on the last one. I said banana, coconut flake, pineapple, apples and honey. Okay, here is what was in smoothie number one. Go ahead and score for yourselves, Fish butt holes. what your points are for this round. We have banana. Coconut shreds. Mango Boo. Dang it. Pineapple and orange juice. Damn it. Dang. Oh, okay. so we all got three points? I got three. I got two. Okay Vee’s losing. I am. That’s a good start though. That’s a good start. The mango But now we’ve been lulled into a sense of false confidence. That’s what’s they did here, filled with trick-sy Hobbits-es here. trick-sy Hobbits-es Let’s bring in the next smoothie. What the hell is that? What? Did you ever see the Lord of the Rings, dude? No, Harry Potter. Bro, it literally won the Oscar. And I normally joke when I say that. No way, did it? How many points do I win if I correctly identify that this is not a smoothie, but rather guacamole? It’s chutney. Did you try it yet? I didn’t see the other. Oh God. Oh, this one’s less good. Does it get worse and worse? Yeah, that’s how the show goes. Have you not seen it? We’ve all been producing on this for like five years. I hate that a lot. There’s an herb in here. My eyes hurt. God. I dunno. All right, let’s finalize those guesses. I got it. I got it. Hold on, hold on Wait. Can I get some chips? Can I get a side of chips with this smoothie? I need to think of one more. Is it a nut? Yeah, I’m like, I only have like Hold on, no, no, no. I’m changing my damned guesses because I see what they’re doing. They’re doing like, there’s some kind of themes and I think if- Bro, if I correctly identify this one Ho, ho, ho Let’s go ahead and strike that smoothie please. Oh yeah, frig it. I hate this place. Okay, Josh, we’ll start with you. I said “Avacadoo”, spinach, parsley, almond butter and flax meal. Oh, that’s what I was tasting. There’s flax meal in there, isn’t there? Lily? That’s it. I said avocados and parsley and wheat grass and salt and almonds. Dang it. Vee? Avocado, parsley, cilantro, salt, lime. Alright, here are the correct answers. I guessed on accident We have kale Boo. Vanilla protein powder. Avocado. Yay! Greek yogurt and canned peas. Oh, peas. Okay, okay, okay. That’s what that crap was. That was the must. There was a mustiness. Honestly, I’m so mad that I didn’t get the protein powder cause I literally, I burped and I tasted it. That’s what I need to do. I need to burp after every smoothie. No, please, I will throw up. And if I burp, are you gonna start No. Stop, don’t even. What? This is my process. Don’t fake it. Don’t fake it. I will literally throw up, I have a fear of throwing up. Please. This is how I win, this is how I win. How many did you each get? I have three points. Oh, sh… I only scored one on that. We all only got one. I got one. So I’m at a total of four. Me and Lilly tied at four. Peas? That’s what it was. Bring in smoothie number three. This one looks good. I feel like it’s not. Yeah, I’m just gonna dive in. It’s spice, okay. It looks like hot- nevermind. Ew. I am less of a fan of this one than I was the last one, which I was also not a fan of. I don’t hate it. It’s like a gazpacho. Yeah, it is. Yeah, this is more savory than the other ones. There’s something green. If I just write a category of like food, does that count? Dump some out. Please be as specific as possible. You got it. What are you looking for? Nothing. Now I gotta look at it. We want you guys to know that Nicole and I are having a really good time. Are you having a good time? You wanna come drink some smoothies? Have an even better time. Huh? You want some fun little smoothies? And now I forgot what I was gonna say. I’m not gonna lie, Lily, I kind of like it. Yeah, it’s not like bad. I’m enjoying myself. Ew. Ew. Why are you holding it in? Because I don’t wanna breathe it out then you’re gonna smell it. And then you’re gonna say, “Ew.” I hold it in, you say “Ew.” But you could swallow it. You’re holding it in your mouth. I’m burping it for the after taste. Let’s clear the smoothies. Difficult to work with. First of all. All right, Lily, let’s hear your guesses. I said Hot Cheetos, tomato, fresh black pepper, paprika and apple. Dang. Vee? I put Hot Cheetos, more water, Strawberries, hot sauce, and cilantro. Okay, I feel like I messed up ’cause there’s definitely Hot Cheetos in there. But I said Takis, jalapenos, chia seeds, watermelon and fish sauce. Where was the fish sauce? I tasted some like MSG type umami. But that was just definitely from the chips. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here’s the correct answer. Let us know your score. We have strawberries. Yeah! Red bell pepper. Mm, yeah, I tasted Tomato paste. So Lily, that’s a half point for you ’cause it was tomato paste, Hawaiian punch, Ahh and Hot Cheetos. I went oh-for on that one. Brutal. Yeah, I got five. The Takis, okay, I tasted the pepper, but I thought it was jalapeno. Cause like you get that like irony bell pepper tang. Man, I- I thought, I was gonna say jalapeno or just like an Anaheim chili. Tasted the fruit, I thought it was watermelon cause it had that like, you know, gross, grainy sandy thing. Yeah, yeah, that’s where the tomato came in. Bring in the next smoothie. This one looks disgusting. I’m not drinking this Lily I’m not doing it. I don’t wanna smell it. It’s obviously gonna- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t throw up, I’m gonna throw up, if you throw up, don’t throw up. I just wanna eat my smoothie in peace. Oh it sucks. Oh my wait. Wait, wait, wait. Is it bad? No, no, Vee Just lemme drink my smoothie. Vee, did you throw up? Are you sure this is five ingredients? Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew Lily, calm down. Calm your heart rate. Would it make you feel better if I chug the whole thing? No, no, don’t do it. Are you sure? No, don’t do it. But I’ll kinda let a lot of it dribble down my chin and then I’ll start burping it up. Do you think that would make you feel better? I will throw up on top of you. Okay, I’m getting… all right. How’re we sup- ah, we’ll figure it out. I know what I’m thinking of. I hate that. I’m not even joking. It’s just there’s a lot. Oh god, I just gotta look at it. I’m going back in. They pulled me out just so I could get pulled right back in. Here, taste it for me. Do you all want a hint? Yeah No No, just leave us alone for once. Sorry, I’m lashing out. I mean the texture on this, the way it clings to the glass There’s something red in there. All right, place your guesses please. Where do you see red? I see brown. I see all brown. I’m gonna say that, no, I just don’t think that’s it. Vee, what was your guess? Okay, I put potato, sauce, maybe mayo, burger bun, a burger patty and tomato. Oh that’s a good guess. That’s a good guess. I went meat, I’d say cow specifically if I was pressed, potatoes instant mashed, I’d say, gravy, peanut butter, And then I put more meat. You can’t just say meat. You have to say what type Cow meat. I said cow meat For both? Yeah, no, okay, I’ll put cow and goat. Oh I swear if there’s goat and cow in this I’m gonna be upset. I said chocolate, canned chicken, corn meal, paprika and butter. Kind of a polenta, yeah. All right, the correct answers were No, Annaliese. Wendy’s chicken nuggets, Ew God dang it. Wendy’s French fries, Wendy’s Baconator, Wendy’s Frosty, And a McDonald’s Filet-O-fish. Oh I would like a point for beef. Potato! I would like a point for beef and potatoes. Potato! I would like a point. We deserve points. We need a judge’s ruling. Beef and potatoes. I don’t care if I win. I just want to leave. We’ll give you half points for those. Do I get a half point? I said chicken. No, it’s a full point. Half! Lily should get a full point for tomatoes. We’re trying our hardest and we’re getting nickel and dimed for half points? Why did I taste peanut butter? Annaliese, do I get a half point for chocolate? Can you please say that again? It’s half points for anything that was close. So potato or chicken related. Oh we had to guess Wendy’s Baconator as quote “one of five ingredients?” Tomato? God forbid we don’t get the full point. Tomato? I said chocolate. Annaliese, Annaliese, would you prefer- We asked if you wanted a hint. 0.5 or-oh yeah, we denied the hint, huh? Does burger patty count? Yes. And the bun? Bun should count as half. You get bun, half point. Wait, you’re so good, Vee. I got a lot of halves. What about chocolate? Wait, hold on, there’s mayo. There’s mayo on a Baconator. I got a lot of halves. Vee literally got all half points. You can have a half point for chocolate ’cause it was a chocolate frosty. Butter? No. One, two and a half. What’s your scores? I got one point. Two and a half. I also got one point. Okay, bring in the final smoothie. There’s another one? The way that Trevor’s laughing over there really makes me, stop doing that. I’ve been messing with her all day. Oh this is good. I think I know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I like this one. This one’s my favorite. I’m not gonna do it. It’s not terrible. I gotta hint ’cause mine had a chunk. Don’t look at it. No, don’t look at it. This is my hint. You got crackers? Does anybody have crackers for this? Is this a fish bone? Eh, whatever. You know what? Don’t show, hide your answers. There’s something really grainy in it. I think I know this ’cause when, okay so for like a month of my life I wasn’t allowed to chew food. I had like a crazy dental thing going on and they like ripped out one of my teeth and one of the dentists, he was like “We should do this.” And then his wife was like, “It’s not gonna work, it’s not gonna work.” And then they started arguing in Armenian and then the husband came back and he goes, “It’s gonna work.” So, the point is I couldn’t chew for a month and I blended a lot of savory ingredients to get nutritious pastes. And this reminds me of one of them. That’s disgusting, ’cause that was disgusting. Nah, honestly the last one was worse. Let’s go ahead and clear the smoothie and let’s hear your guesses first Josh. Hold on, wait. What’s the difference between a chickpea and garbanzo bean? They’re the same, aren’t they? They’re pretty much the same. Nothing, right? Well I’ve never paid $20 for a can of chickpeas. Yes, you have. Nicole’s the only one that gets it. Alright. I said tuna, chickpea, tahini olive oil and I put worm pills. Those are pills you feed a dog to get rid of the worms. That should be called de-worming pills. But I wrote ’em as worm pills. I’ve never heard of warm pills. Okay, Lily? I said tuna, mayo, salt, stock and corn meal. I said corn meal again. Yeah, I’ve said salt a lot. Tuna, mayo, celery, salt, pickle juice. All right, here’s the actual answers. We have tuna, hot sauce, cheddar cheese, celery and mayo. Yeah! Vee, you’re really good at this. How do you feel after this? I feel fine. Do you? You don’t wanna vomit? No I’m not. Stop. I’m not doing this on purpose. No, you did. You literally just heaved so hard right now. You stared into my eyes and burped into your mouth. Stared into your eyes and casually looked at me are very similar. With no sound. I didn’t stare in your eyes and try and make myself vomit. That’s weird. You just did the whole action without the sound. How many times a day do I do this? Not on camera. A lot. So when you turn the camera on, I’m just still gonna do it. I always walk right through your burp bubble, every single time. Disgusting. Which is why I try and hold it in. But then Lily complains In third place with 6.5 points, Josh Scherer. Boo. Ew, you spit. That guy sucks. I’m sorry, I spit on Lily In second place with 8.5 points, Lily Cousins. Woo. Good job. And in first place with a grand total of 12.5 points, Vianai Austin. Huge, Vee that was incredibly dominate. You get to pick something outta the prize box. That was a dominant athletic performance. Vee, who do you wanna thank? I wanna thank my mom because she would’ve definitely washed my mouth out with soap. Shout out, shout out, Miss Patty. Hey, there’s the bell. You know what time it is. That means we gotta give somebody a piece of advice. We gotta give somebody a piece of advice. The world needs us and we are here to provide. Lauren B says “What is the best food to order so you don’t have to poop while on a date” I pass to Lily, Lily is the only person I know who has a bodily fluid dating story. Go for it. The best food that you should eat is, all I can think of is a whole lobster. And that’s like the worst thing that you can eat. Will it make you poop? No, but it’s disgusting, to dig through a lobster on a first date. You know most people- I thought we were talking about pooping not what you eat on the first date. Okay, I don’t know. Do you shove the lobster? You just, you should eat what you wanna eat. You know, lobster’s fancy too, right? Yeah, it is. But I wouldn’t eat it on a first date. But I think you should just eat what you want to eat and hold in your poop. Yeah, that’s kind of beautiful. Poop before you go on your date, okay? Take a laxative. Yeah, exactly. So that way you can get it all out because one time I did poop on the first date. And let me tell you, boy I was in there for like 20 minutes. Did you make up an excuse? You were like, sorry, my grandma’s sick. They knew. I told them it was my time of the month. Ah, that’s good. That’s good. Let me take you back to the Trojan War. So right, they create the Trojan horse they’re trying to funnel the soldiers through the gates of Troy and they had the same thought of how do we prevent these young men from pooping? And so what they did is they fed them under ripe purple carrots because they believe, right, food is medicine. It’s been truth today and and in yester year, of course. And so all these men, well it wasn’t quite clear if they ate the carrots to stop themselves from pooping or if they just went right up there as a sort of cork situation. But I’d recommend that. Keegle! All right, well thanks so much for stopping by Aprons Off, where you always got a fun little history lesson, amid the sounds of us trying to stop vomiting. 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