We have a mystery box. No one knows what’s inside of it, but we have to cook from it and it’s gonna go great. ((Upbeat Music)) Welcome back to Sliced, the official mystery box cooking show that is not derivative of any other IP from any other food television station. And this is not hosted by one of the original Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That’s right, they used to only do it for straight people, then they dropped the name when it moved to Netflix. Ted Allen. He was like the food and wine. Antoni Porowski was his personal assistant. Wow, no way. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that at all. Today, our sister wives over at Sporked have compiled their five favorite packaged food items that they have eaten over the weekend. Today, y’all, we are going to create a dish out of the five items in this mystery box, and then they are going to come in and judge it to ultimately define our self worth for the next two to three weeks. Oh, okay. I’m down. That’s so exciting. Let’s define it. Sister Wives. Y’all ready to see what’s in the box? Yeah! Open that thing! Sorry, that was loud. – [Josh] We got. Our first item is Social Hour Harvest Whiskey Sour. This tastes like the best Apple cider mixed with a whiskey sour that you would get at a good bar. Number four on our list is the Western Hearth Jewish Rye Bread. This has a great amount of caraway seeds in it. A nice chew. Your Rubens are not ready for this. Number three on our list is the Aldi brand pesto. It comes in at under two dollars and it’s super flavorful. Number two on our list are the Lamb Weston Supreme Gold Mashed Lightly Seasoned potatoes. These are so good and if you don’t know who to buy your potato based products from, go with Lamb Weston. They always hit it out of the park. And number one on our list this week are the Hormel Cup N’ Crisp pepperoni. These give you New York City style pizza shop pepperoni that turn into little cups filled with delicious grease. If you want that at home, buy these. We’ve seen some incredibly difficult Sliced baskets in the past, Sliced basket in the past, but this I don’t know if we can do it. We’re gonna need some incredible editing techniques to make this look more dramatic than it is and like it comes down to the exact second that the clock ticks zero, and ultimately some very emotional storylines. There’s a clock? There’s a time constraint? Nobody told us that. I want Vi on my team. Yes! We gotta stick together. I get dubs. What a coincidence, I want Trevor on my team. Good, so it’s fine, so it looks like. We got a better record to get. Looks like we all get what we want then. That’s great, okay, okay, good. Yeah, it’s fine. Happy hour. Good, I’m glad you’re not. You sound a little worried. You sound a little worried. It’s a You Up? hour. What are you gonna make, pepperonis and nogada? Got him. Those dastardly puzzle makers over at Sporked Vi, they’re like the guy from the Hunger Games with the weird mutton chops who gets, I think, I think Katniss might kill him. The one with the purple hair that hosts the games? They all got purple hair. We gotta figure out what to do with this. I want purple hair. I feel like I have a pretty good idea. I think, you’re. We have to stuff something. We gotta stuff something. We gotta stuff something. That’s the first thing I thought with this. You ever watch the Matrix? It’s been a while, but I’m educated on it. You know, like, Neo can look at the code, and then he sees the world as a puzzle that he can just move the pieces around in? I thought that was Morpheus. Morpheus did it first, but he taught Neo how to do it. But then the rest of the movie is really more focused on Neo doing it. Yeah, and him taking a lot of pills. The point is, I see this as a puzzle that I’m not gonna say that. I see this as a puzzle that, I think is very easy to figure out, right? We got potatoes, we want to stuff something. – [Vi] Yeah. And what is the biggest street food in America, that there are stands on every corner selling this thing. That’s right, pierogi Empanadas! Pierogi, no. Pierogis, dude. We gotta, we gotta do pierogis, come on. Yeah, no. Ooh, I love, I like those better actually, cause we gotta boil them instead of fry them. So it makes me feel like I kinda did something right on the healthy aspect of it. Yeah, pierogis. The healthiest food in the world. Filled with cheese and potatoes and pepperoni. Exactly. We’re weirdly pierogi making machines in the Mythical Kitchen. Like the machines from the Matrix that fire laser beams at the people doing the rave in the cave. Let’s get cooking, you wanna make pierogi dough? I’m gonna start getting your filling going. I think, oftentimes, pierogies are filled with bacon. I’m gonna move these out the way. No, you need that. I’m gonna get a pan. Run, Vi, you gotta run. The best thing about Sliced is that there’s an element. I don’t have knees to do that anymore. Me neither, man. You’re not even running, you’re kind of just sidestepping. No, I’m doing, they call it, they call it the lineman shuffle in football. They made all the linemen, the hefty boys run. But instead of running, you just do this. And it’s actually a slower pace than walking. That’s called a trot. We call those trots in basketball because you’re not really moving your feet. You’re just shuffling. Yeah, yeah, correct. You can almost do this and not move anywhere. But it looks like you’re running to the coach. And if you look like you’re in pain, that’s all the coaches cared about. There’s a terrible metaphor somewhere there. Onion! We all, we both run the same. How did I not realize that until right now? Dude, that’s how, you ever watch a basketball player run up the court after they make it like a layup? They’re not like sprinting on defense. They’re here. They’re here. They look like they’re injured all the time. No, if you’re actually very good, you do this. Yeah. ((Laughing)) Just do a little foxtrot. All right, I’m gonna save half the onions. The whiskey sour. Yeah. I think, I love something like nice and acidic with any sort of dumpling, right? Especially something that’s filled with something creamy and fatty, like potatoes and pepperoni. I just like onions. So onions in anything is great. Onions in potato, great, you know, onions in my grilled trees. Grilled trees. Grilled trees? Grill, grilled the trees. You just invented a new food out here. I have had several days where the only vegetable I’ve eaten is onions. Cause everyday, well hear me out, everyday. Is it good for you? Are they good for you? Dude, I don’t know. I don’t know either, bro. Do I look like a doctor? You try to act like you are sometimes. Yeah, I really do. I’ve made a lot of claims about what pregnant women should and shouldn’t eat, and I should apologize for those. Oh, I don’t know what to say to that. That’s how I know y’all don’t listen to the podcast. Thanks for supporting the content, everybody. Oh, jeez. Okay, okay, chop the pepperoni. We have the fat rendering for the pepperoni. I’m making the dough, and I’m using sour cream instead of yogurt, which is actually surprising because I wanted to use yogurt originally. No, sour cream, dude. And you were like, no, but you’re like the yogurt master in the kitchen. Well, there are certain foods that I no longer view as food, and I only view as medicine. Yeah. Like, coffee is one of them. I’m like, I just need the drugs inside here. Yogurt, I just need the protein. To be clear, the drug in coffee is caffeine. I’m not putting extra drugs in my coffee. Coffee is a drug itself. A hundred percent. Dude, every culture independently figured out that we need legal stimulants to survive. Except me, I’m not doing that. Do you drink coffee? No, I actually hate coffee, you know that. You need some sort of caffeine though. I, water keeps me awake. What? Oh god. When I was in college and I was editing and doing all that fun stuff, late at night, I was drinking water. Drinking water? I literally got caffeine intoxicated. I showed up to college with a case of Monster Energies that I bought from somebody in a parking lot. Pull up my sleeve. Do you want me to roll it? I don’t care. It’s falling. I got pepperoni grease on your nice sweatshirt. Yeah, well. It’s called a washing machine. Hold it tight. Come on, man. I’m trying my best. Just hold it. Do you want the other one? Yeah, please. Yeah, come on. Be the helpful cousin at Thanksgiving. I’m trying, dude. You’re just the one that talks and comes to the kitchen and says, oh, it smells good in here. I got banned from my own Thanksgiving with my cousins. I don’t want to ask why, because you’re banned from a lot of places. Oh man, I think Food Network should really lean into the like, Love Island style reality drama. That’s what Lily watches every day. Don’t I know it? And you can hear Lily snickering in her office, and she goes, ((Lily Laugh Impersonation)) It’s really freaking funny, Lily, you know what, Lily has her head down in shame right now. Lily, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. She loves love. There’s nothing wrong with that. She loves when people find their love. It’s all good. How’s that dough coming together? Do you need, uh, need more wet? Yeah, a little bit. You want me to splash some water in there? Yeah, cause I, just keep working. Put the water and the potato together, starch, we’re gonna sauté this up. That smells good though. All right. Working the dough. – Yeah. – Mix this together. It’s coming together. It’s coming together. It’s coming together. Check back in a second. ((Timer Ticking)) ((Timer Ringing)) We have to battle for space. Vi, you are so small. You’re like, I’m adding weight. Your elbow’s actually in my rib. Foul! All right, the Jewish rye, we’re gonna turn that into breadcrumbs, like a nice crunchy topping because we’re gonna sauté the onions, we’re gonna get stuff that’s wet, we need the dry and the crunchy to go atop the wet and the sumptuous. That’s the cooking equation. That’s The Matrix. All I heard was dry and wet and that’s just great for everybody. Oh, I don’t want. Why? Why? No, dude, do the thing they do on the show that Sliced is not derivative of, where they hoard ingredients. Sorry, I didn’t mean to throw it that hard. Dude, hurry, I’m scared. Alright, we got the potatoes, we got some mozzarella cheese, we got the onions, we got the pepperoni. This is gonna stain nice and orange from all that pepperoni grease. This is a hell of a pierogi filling. Sorry, Nicole. I didn’t mean to throw that. This is a hell of a pierogi filling, this is the food, listen, you go out to, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Yeah. I’ve never been there. I know you’re not from there exactly, but you’re spiritually from there in my mind. Well, I guess. And you get pierogies everywhere, dude. I, 10:30 A.M. I went to Yocco’s Hot Dogs in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I ate three hot dogs and six Mrs. T pierogies at breakfast. What are you even talking about right now? I’m talking about how much I love pierogies. Pierogies were a really good food of my childhood. Vi, you’re gonna start slicing those onions. We’re gonna get those, we’re gonna do like a sweet and sour onion. We’re gonna get those deglazed in that whiskey sour. I love onions. I’m gonna start rolling and filling pierogies. A trick I learned from Monika who’s from Poland, do not flour your cutting board. – Who’s Monika? – Dude, can I give you a little behind the scenes of GMM 22 when GMM was making four videos a day? Well, we also had at that time was somebody who just made us snacks constantly. Yeah. Oh, that sounds, oh, this knife is beautiful. I like this knife. She made me a giant pierogi for my birthday, and it was a delight. We’re gonna roll this out super thin. Where’s the sour cream? Run, Vi, run! Show urgency to the producers! Oh! You want this thin but not as thin as like a ravioli. You don’t want it to be see through, because you still want a fair amount of bite on that dough. Listen, I know I talk about Eurovision too much, but! I still haven’t watched it with you, and you know, we’re friends and all, but I’m never gonna come to one of your Euro parties. Did none of you come to my Eurovision party? No. This is the modern day equivalent of like, none of you came to my birthday party. No, none of you came to my Eurovision party Uh, no, we did not. Your lost. Your lost. But I made a bunch of varenyky which are like a Ukrainian version of a pierogi. That sounds lovely. So I feel like I have my technique down to a science. Let me try the pesto straight. I don’t think you’re gonna like it. Sporked? You’re not a big fan of jarred pesto. Sporked said. ((Drum Roll)) It’s a really good jarred pesto. Yeah. That is a really good jarred pesto. Oh, that’s a lot coming from you. It is, because most of the time it’s bad. The reason I like it is that it’s not a proper pesto. Okay, do you want to try this now? Because there’s a ton of acid in it, you know? Please sir, may I have some more? What are you, a peasant? Hello, I’m Oliver Twist! Time, how much time? We’re not getting, we’re not timed. We’re supposed to take our time. It doesn’t matter, they just show an insert of the clock, and it’s like ticking, and then they get a talking head of someone going, oh my God! I’m telling you, watch the show that nobody has ever seen, this is not derivative of, and if you watch it after having worked, in like. What? One more what? Run more! Run! The producers are telling you to run! Vi! Oh my God! Where are we going? Oh my God! Where are we going? And then in the talking head they go. Where are we going? My mom has adult onset child hypertrophic anemia and I need to win this for her. Oh my gosh. And then they do that. I want to cut out a circle. If I win I’m gonna donate all my money to the dogs with anxiety foundation. Dogs have anxiety, that’s a real thing. ((Timer Ticking)) ((Timer Ringing)) I’m going to fill this with a little bit of potato. – [Vi] Ooh, can I help you? I’m potato girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fill one, you fill one. Did you just say you’re a potato girl? I’m potato girl. Sorry, there was a contestant on Top Chef. I realize that not everybody understands all of my Top Chef references, and I still really like you guys as friends, even though you don’t go to my Eurovision parties or understand the Top Chef reference. You act like we don’t do other things. I went to a whole ass metal concert with you. Yo, Vi went to a metal concert with me. Didn’t you have a fun time? Define fun. You had fun! You said you had fun! I kept screaming in your face, are you having fun? You kept going, yeah. I think I just got caught up people watching the whole time, and that was the fun part. Yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta go in there and start throwing some spinning backfists. – Yeah, I was trying. – That’s how you really have fun. No, cause then that would actually knock somebody out. Yeah, that’s the point! You gotta jump into the snake pit! And then I would’ve been on the news like, Local YouTuber got into a fight in a mosh pit. We’ll just lay our pierogies there. Try and pinch it together with a little bit of water. Okay. And then a little bit of flour to sort of seal that. We don’t need any fancy crimping. This is old school. This is like Polish peasant food right here. This is beautiful. I love being a peasant. Keep filling them. We’re gonna try and get like five. Rustic. That’s what Sliced is all about. How much do we want this to be? – [Josh] You know? And, and again, we’re, we’re doing this for the dogs with anxiety. ((Timer Ticking)) ((Timer Beeps)) Pierogies are done! Okay, we got them filled up. Are we still running and screaming? Yeah, dude. You gotta run and scream the whole time. That’s how they know you’re working. I was so focused. You scared me. Be the Zen chef. Remember when you played like a zen grandma or something on, or grandpa on Catch the Fish with Grandad? Yeah, that was great. Chase cheated. I can finally soapbox. He cheated. No, he definitely did. He grabbed my wig. – [Josh] He grabbed your wig. – [Vi] He grabbed my wig. – [Josh] He grabbed my strap. Chase cheated. Run the game film back. – [Vi] Run it back. – You know? – Run all the highlights. We’re on our channel now. It clearly should have been me and Josh at the end. Clearly. We were clearly the two best competitors there. Um, drop men. Wait, salt the water. Salt the water. Salt the water. Salt the water. Oh, what? Now we’re shocked at what Josh does? I dropped a pierogi. ((Upbeat Music)) Vi, we gotta finish this up. Channel your inner, your inner Polish peasant. Okay, what? Your name is Olga. It’s very cold. First of all, I’m Helga. I got long ponytails. Long potato harvest. Come in. We should try this. That is, that is a lot of whiskey and a lot of sour. This is, these are, okay, kind of changed the calculus. I think we’re just gonna add a splash. We’re gonna let that cook down. I pulled the pierogies out for a sec, so I’m gonna try and time it. Just sort of jump in there. Screw it dude. I’m gonna grab a bunch of butter to mount. Do it. I’m gonna make some breadcrumbs. I’m gonna add some garlic powder in there. And some thyme. I found this whole big ass chunk of butter. I’m just gonna throw that in there, man. I don’t know. Pierogi going back in. Probably just need another two minutes. Is this good? You want this, you want this finer? Oh, come on. Yeah, just go fine dude. Make it a dust. Make it a dust? Do you have the herbs in there? I do have herbs in there. It needs a little bit more garlic powder. Yo, taste this. This is pretty trippy actually. What? This is a bunch of like whiskey, sour, butter, and onion juice. It’s good, right? They should make that a drink. I’m gonna call it You Up? I love like, bartenders that just make like real I might add a little bit more whiskey sour in there. That’s actually really nice. Hit it with some more salt. I like that a lot. Dude, this is really good. I’m gonna get a lot of black pepper in there. I think that’s gonna be really good. And the. You want some breadcrumb? I feel like I’m in Magic City. They have good wings there. You got the herbs in there? Yeah. Here, parsley. Parsley? Yeah, but, oh, okay. Alright. Dang it. Onions are cooking, rogies are floating. Sautéing these up. Breadcrumbs are breadcrumbing. Pat pat. I think that’s good to go. You know what I mean? Maybe a little salt. Oh, jeez. We’re good. We’re just gonna finish sautéing this with the onions in there, get that sauce soaking into the rogies a little bit. Let me get a plate. Plate me up. Uh, Vi, you wanna get the sour cream into a bowl? Yeah. Thank you, chef. You’re welcome, Jeff. Thank you, chef. I’m like Jeremy Allen White, but yes, I am. Jeff. Seven inches taller. Thinking about, you know, sexiest men. You know? Got Jason, Jason Kelce in there. ((Laughing)) That’s what. Stop. I’m embarrassing my teammate at this point. I can’t. I can’t do that. These are looking dank dude. Those look so good. – [Josh] They look like a honey butter sort of appeal to it. We’re gonna get the onions. Okay. All on top. We made a hell of a dish. No, I think this is great. I think they’re, the, our sister wives are gonna love it. They’re gonna let us live in the house. Yay, we get bed privileges. That’d be great. All right. Are we putting the breadcrumbs on the pierogies? Yeah, let me get the onions on there real quick. Okay. – [Josh] Yes, yes, yes. Gang gang. What? You remember? Yes, yes, yes. Ice cream’s so good. We forgot about PinkyDoll. Like, tears washed away in the rain, she has just forgotten to the sands of time. I will not forget you, PinkyDoll. This one onion is bothering me. Shades of brown. If I wrote a Polish grandma themed cookbook, it’d be called 50 Shades of Brown, and that is, that’s not what you think it is. No, that’s not that. They couldn’t show that. It’s the different stages of your poop colors. They couldn’t show that in the movie. And micromanage! Boom! No, Vi, you get the last sprinkle, Vi, you get. That’s so crazy. He knew there was a lot on the plate already. – [Josh] There you have it, we got our pepperoni and cheese pierogi. with pestos, lemon, sour cream, and herb breadcrumbs, whiskey sour caramelized onions. Kobe! 24. Trevor, what are you doing? I’m getting limber. Okay. I’m getting loose, alright? Alright, alright. Because our advantage is speed. Josh has the back of an octogenarian. Vi’s knees are shot. I’m loose, I’m limber, I’m young, and I’m ready to go. Check it out, check it out. That was awesome. Can you do that? Can anybody do that? I don’t think so. Okay, well, that’s good because you’re on my team. That’s right. Suck it, Josh. Alright, so Trevor, what do you want to do with all these ingredients? What is, what is the aura? What is the vibe? I see pepperoni. – [Nicole] That’s right. – [Trevor] You know what has pepperonis on it? I’m gonna guess, I’m gonna guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pizza? Yeah! Okay, okay, cause I was thinking pizza too. Alright, alright, so what do we do with the other stuff? The other stuff. Well, I’ve seen a lot of hot honey on the internet. recently. Hot honey. And I think a whiskey sour hot honey sounds good. Can you actually pop that open? I wanna give it a little tasty taste. – [Trevor] Oh boy. – [Nicole] What do they say? Mama needs her jiggle juice? Is that what the kids say? Oh, this ginger needs her jiggle juice. Jesus, so this is 20 percent alcohol? This is 20 percent alcohol? Yeah, look at the can. No, you drink like two of these and I’m, I’m on the floor. Wow. I’m all for it. Cheers. Let’s turn our backs so they don’t see. Oh my God! I think, I think, I think it’s a good base for a hot honey situation. – [Trevor] I’m gonna reduce this crap. – [Nicole] Yeah, I think reducing that crap’s a good idea. Cause we don’t wanna just put it in there. We gotta cook some of that alcohol out. No, I think that’s a great idea. Vi, hey, where’s that, that bread you left me? What the crap? This is loose bread? We’re just tossing it? Didn’t you hear? I like asked her to toast it for me because she’s a nice little, she’s a nice little lady. Okay, what do you need? What do you need? I’m your speed man. Dude, I need. I’m your speed man. I’m already cooking. That’s all I got. You can get me the stuff for the food processor. Wow. Oh my God. Where is it? Probably in the dish pan. Oh my God. Oh my God! It’s like the, it’s like that thing where you go. Who needs Ezra Miller, am I right? These things don’t go together. I couldn’t find the lid, so. Oh, it’s right there, it’s right there! Oh crap! Oh crap, oh crap. What? They just left, they’re sabotaging us! Oh my gosh. They didn’t wash it, it’s okay. It’s fine, it’s fine. They made breadcrumbs, we make breadcrumbs. Potato, potato, tomato, tomato. Bad news, it’s not cooked yet. That’s okay, Trevor. It’s okay. I got other stuff. I’m gonna get ready. I’m making honey. I need honey. Where’s the honey? Trevor, you’re having a lot of fun over there, huh? Well, I’m here to win. That’s the thing about me. I’m here to have a good time. I’m preparing. – Wow. – What do you need? Wow, what do I need? Some parsley would be nice. Can you get me some parsley? Yeah. Okay, I got some here. Oh, thanks so much. Oh, that’s really kind of you. Um, I can’t really get it to work. Oh crap, that’s grapeseed oil. Okay, let’s do it one more time. Wait, we have olive oil right here. What am I doing? I think, I think you’re doing great. I’m trying my darndest here. You got one of them Apple watches? No. No, cause then if I hit my move goal, then I’ll just quit. Okay? I gotta be constantly moving. Oh! Something seems to be going wrong. Which one do you like? I like that one. Wow, thanks so much. What’s going on? Service with a smile. Um, I don’t know, it’s not working. Clock’s ticking! Is there a clock element to this? Damn it! – [Trevor] Hold the phone! The plug came out! They’re sabotaging us again! Oh my gosh, thanks Trevor. Okay, we got it. You’re a genius. That’s cooking, it’s doing it. That’s right, it’s happening. Everything is happening. Wow, you really toasted the crap out of this bread. Alright, let’s let that go for a little bit. He’s like a hummingbird! If I accidentally throw a glass ball, it’s not my fault. Welcome to Sliced, mother- I’m just watching you run around. Oh. There is definitely blood in his lungs. It’s toxic. Alright, let’s see what else we got. Oh, fresh garlic, nice. I’m really enjoying this, you know, I’m chilling. Yeah. It’s a pretty chill day. Well that’s why I’m the speed. You’re the brains. And together we’re Speed Brains! ((Laughing)) You can shred the crap out of that in another bowl. You wanna do that? Wait, I got you, I got you. You don’t need to run. I already got it! I already got it! I’m too fast! Oh my goodness! You’re all over the place. I’m too fast. You think I could run to a potty break? I’m kinda. You gotta pee pee? I had a lot of coffee. You gotta do the pee pee or the poo poo? – Just number one. – Just number one. Just number one. If I needed a number two, I’d just do it in my pants. Save time. I have a feeling they would just edit it out. Okay, I’m gonna let these breadcrumbs get nice and toasty in this here olive oil. And, yeah. Wow, you’re so good at that. I trained for this. Trevor, do you think you could also whip up a, I don’t know, a pizza dough while you’re in the bathroom or something? I trained for this. ((Timer Ticking)) ((Timer Ringing)) Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dough! Wow, is that your bathroom dough? Yep, I made it proof extra fast through sheer force of will. Yeah, I like that. I’m into it. Yes, freaking awesome. What are you doing? Well, we’re just gonna show the fine people at home all the lovely things that we made. Awesome. We got the hot honey here, look at that, nice and viscous. Oh, wow. And look at these breadcrumbs, nice and brown. Oh, yeah. I want to taste this. Holy crap. I wanna see how strong that whiskey. Careful, it might be hot. Oh! Yes! Oh! Yes! That’s good stuff, man. That’s awesome. I’ll put that on a flip flop! On a, what? You know, Guy Fieri says I can put that on a flip flop. Oh, I get it. Yeah. Alright. Oh, that’s good. Okay, so I think what we should do, you know, a pizza isn’t a pizza without some cheese, but I want to mix in the pesto and maybe the mashed potato and do like a ricotta topping. Okay. Add a little bit of egg yolk for some structure. Cool, you need a mixing bowl? I do need a a mixing bowl. Oh my gosh! They sabotaged us again! The perfect mixing bowl. Dude Perfect! That was sick. Oh man, I’m fired up. Okay, what can I do? I don’t know, maybe all the stuff that’s over there, just bring it over? Wow, that’s like incredible. You’re so fast. Do I need to melt this butter? Oh yeah, can you melt that butter? Wow, so efficient. So I’m just gonna take these here mashed taters. Whoa, wow, and then I’m gonna take the pesto. Hey, do you see ricotta? Can you give me some ricotta? Wow, thank you so much. We’re gonna add some ricotta to this. If you do that with your feet, if you go, it makes you faster. Is that true? – [Trevor] Yeah. What if you were wearing light up shoes, would you go even faster if you’re wearing light up shoes? Yeah, I left them at home today like an idiot! Oh man, oh! What the crap? Dude, physics don’t make sense in the Mythical Kitchen. Whoa. Okay, we got some nice Italian seasoning. We got marjoram, basil, everything. Oregano, garlic, Trevor. Don’t stand in front of the microwave. It makes your brain shrink. Impossible. My brain is two times the size of the average human’s brain. ((Screaming)) The butter exploded? Well, here’s the thing, that’s all that’s left. Sorry, I just spit so much. I’m getting more! No, it’s fine, you can just pour it in there. That’s the thing about Sliced you gotta cook on the fly. Yeah, that’s right. Trevor, what do we say about looking at the butter? You good, buddy? Does anybody have a sports, a sports beverage? Trevor, you need a sports drink? Yeah! Wow, look at that. Perfect! I got butter on it already, it’s been in my hand for one second. Oh my goodness. Add butter to this. I should’ve smashed it on my head like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Trevor, get a piping bag! Oh, okay. I got butter on my hands, it’s so darn slippery. You got it, Trevor, you got this, man.. Am I good to just dump this in here? It’s not closing. Wow, okay, you did that fast. That’s why I like to see the speed. I’m also fast. You’re so fast. It’s beautiful, yeah. Oh my gosh, you’re already anticipating needs. Look at you, Trevor. – [Trevor] That’s what Sliced is all about. That’s right. Also Sporked. We love Sporked. Wow. Yeah, that’s right. Wow, what can’t he do? Oh, what about some, some like pizza sauce. You got any you can find? ((Laughing)) Whoa! Okay, yeah, dump it on there. You do it, you do it. Look at you. Fast feet. Fast feet. How much? That’s good, that looks pretty good to me. Alright, we’re just gonna go ahead and just. Oh my God! I’m really enjoying this. I’m really excited for this to go in the oven so I can sit. ((Laughing)) Okay, so we got some cheese on there. I think we’re gonna win Trevor. Something tells me, you know, we got a winning attitude. Is the oven good? Yeah, the oven’s good. Don’t worry about it. The oven’s great, honey. Can I be helpful in some way? Trevor, you are so helpful. What if I do a backflip right now? Anybody think I can do it? Come on, everybody cheer! Trevor! – [Crowd] Trevor! Trevor! Trevor! Trevor! ((Laughing)) Oh my gosh. That was sick. I think I nailed it. That was good, Trevor. I’m proud of you, man. Oh my God, I really am so sweaty. Oh, of course, the pepperoni. How could we forget? Not the cup and crisp! We can’t forget the God darn cup and crisp. Okay, let’s just dot this on, yeah? You wanna do some? Yeah! There you go, honey. There you go. So what’s the technology here? How do they get it to cup and crisp? What am I, a doctor? High five! And now we wait. ((Timer Ticking)) ((Timer Ringing)) Hey Trevor! The pizza’s almost done. Can you go get a basil? Yeah! I’m gonna do a back handspring! Okay, let’s do it! Oh my God! You did it! – [Trevor] Oh my God! I’m gonna do another one! I’m gonna do another one! Okay, one more, one more, one more! Oh my God! Did you not get that? Were you not following? Dylan! Were you not following me? That was one of the craziest, most athletic things I’ve ever done. And I did it perfectly. Dude, look at this pizza. – [Trevor] Oh my God. Almost done. Now we gotta add that whiskey sour hot honey over the top. Despite my shenanigans, we did that. Yeah, Trevor, we sure did. Alright, you wanna put some breadcrumbs on there, my guy? I freaking do, I freaking do. I’m gonna hold on hot. – [Nicole] Hold on hot. Nice. Gorgeous. Look at that. I’m just gonna drop some basils. Shut the front door. Yeah, man. And then you can add some of that, wonderful cheese. Wow. And that’s all she wrote. Wow. There is our Detroit style pizza with palm pesto purée and some cheese and the pepperonis! I think we’re gonna win. Let’s go! Hello, Jordan Myrick from esteemed Sporked.com and our fellow sister wife. And fellow sister wife. That’s correct. Before you, you have two dishes made with a mystery box, some of your favorite ingredients. Do you promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Amen. Baruch Hashem. So what we have for you today, these are pierogies filled with mashed potatoes, pepperoni that we sliced and sautéed with onions, a little bit of mozzarella cheese. There are onions that have been sautéed and then deglazed with whiskey sour to create a bit of an agrodolce situation. Then we have, herbed rye breadcrumbs and some pesto sour cream with lemon. Interesting. Okay. A lot of words. Yeah. Thank you. Boo. Boo. Word salad. Don’t be a hater. Don’t be a hater. Word salad. Don’t be a hater. Hey, you stink. Okay. I don’t like that reaction. Well, no, the pesto, let me taste it without the pesto. Because the pesto is what I’m getting right now, so it tastes more like a ravioli dish than a pierogi dish. Give me the formuoli, am I right? You’re supposed to dip. We watch Spongebob. Yeah. I mean, I like it, it’s good. The potato flavor is very strong, which I think is delicious. The onions are nice, I do get that sweetness from the onions, which I think is really delicious. What do you think? I’m good as hell. He’s not supposed to eat the food. I’m hungry. Someone tell him to not eat the food. It’s good. It’s good. I’m excited for this next one. Hi, Jordan. Hello. Today we have for you a Detroit style pizza with a palm pesto purée, a hot honey made with whiskey sour, and then some herb Jewish rye breadcrumbs as well. Please enjoy. Okay, so the sauce is made from potatoes and? – [Nicole] So the sauce is like a classic tomato sauce but we dotted on some, it’s like a ricotta, ricotta pesto potato mix that we piped on and we baked along with the cheese. Delicious. Jordan Myrick from Sporked.com if I had to describe this dish in a phrase, I would use the words of the patron saint of pizza, Little Caesar himself, pizza pizza. That’s what I would say about it. That was a whole word salad bar. Like, a word Sizzler buffet y’all got over there. No, that was more like Shakey’s. No, it wasn’t. That was Shakey’s. You guys are really mad at each other today. – More than normal. – No, we really love each other. We’re really trying to get a dub here. Really nice crust. Thank you. Both are good. I get more of the individual ingredient flavors from this. I get the pesto. I get the potato. This is a little more homogeneous. Everything tastes more as one. I won’t say which is good or bad, but those are my two big takeaways from that. Jordan, do you feel you have enough information to make an informed decision right now? I think I do, I think I do. Do you want me to give you a 3, 2, 1, and on 1 you will put your hand over the winning dish in 3, 2, 1! God dang it! Take a lap! Take a lap! – [Trevor] Victory lap! Victory lap! You gave me my first L in a long time! Thank you so much, Jordan. – [Trevor] Get those knees up! Drop a bone! You ate that like a pie! Wow, that was fast. Those were delicious. Good job, Trevor. You’re a freaking winner. We knocked it out of the park, dude. Jordan, thank you so much, everybody, check out their work at Sporked.com Trevor, feats of athleticism that I’ve never seen in this kitchen. That was incredible. Thank you. You’re an incredible coach. You’re like Jason Sudeikis to his fictional Jesse Owens. Don’t watch that biopic. You don’t need to watch it. We’ll see y’all next time. Bye! – [Josh] The Sporked team is tirelessly taste testing groceries every day so you can buy only the best. Find what you’re looking for on Sporked.com