Today we’re showing you not one, not three, but two ways to take your fries to the next level. Here in the Mythical Kitchen, where we are family, we often love sharing food, and our favorite food to share is french fries. It’s something we would say if it were true, but we realized that the most recent food we shared was spicy Nigerian goat feet. – Yummy. – So good. But today, we will not be sharing fries. We will be sharing the ecstasy of victory. Pow! That was a weird thing to say. Point is, we’re gonna make two different loaded fries against each other, and then we’re gonna see if me and Nicole can finally team up to take down Lily, who is. A beast. On, my God. Who’s with me. Lily is the LeBron James of this kitchen, and I am just the Smush Parker. You’re Dion Waiters. Scottie Pippen. Thank you! I think. Who’s? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Favorite basketball player of all time. I love him. Let’s get cooking. I don’t want to make this anymore. What are you talking about? We decided we were going to make this before you brought like 80 bucks worth of Nigerian takeout for lunch yesterday and now all I want to eat is Nigerian food. Can we throw all this away and just make egusi? We do have leftover egusi in the fridge. So, if you really want to make like loaded, Nigerian fries. I’m not against it, but I think, I don’t think we have all of it. Can we get a judge, wait, can we get a judge’s ruling? What’s the ruling out there if we just take leftovers out of the fridge and put it on fries? Does that still count as a win when we win? I don’t think so. Dang it, this sucks. I know, this place stinks. I hate it here. I hate it here. We’re making peri peri chicken. I love peri peri chicken. I love peri peri chicken. And I love how much you like to talk about peri peri chicken. And you love the way that I pronounce peri peri chicken. I do. It like kind of pisses me off. Why does it piss you off? Did you not watch Blood Diamond, bro? I did watch Blood Diamond and Djimon Hounsou is a babe. Peri peri, for people that don’t know, it’s a Portuguese influence, but really took off in Mozambique. It is very popular in South Africa and then a bunch of Commonwealth countries. Nando’s, get a little cheeky Nando’s. Love Nando’s. This is basically cheeky Nando’s fries right here. Well, I think Nando’s has a loaded fries on their menu, but this is, this is nothing like it. I’ve only had Nando’s in South Africa. Oh, cool. And they have a lot of pop and chakalaka. I’ve been to Nando’s in the UK, and I just remember eating the best chicken wing of my life. So, that’s why we’re here. Man, Nando’s. Yo! – What? – You wanna quit our jobs? Say no more! Let’s do it right now! What do you wanna do? Open a Nando’s? Franchise a Nando’s! Okay, so we got garlic, we have a scotch bonnet in there, Peri peri would typically refer to just the bird’s eye chili, but I’m gonna get this real spicy, man. I want to feel the burn, because you got a bunch of fat from the cheese and the fries in there. We’re getting some fresh rosemary. So Josh is making a homemade peri peri sauce, and I’m making a really beautiful, delicious cheese sauce to go with it. I put a little bit of gouda in there because, I think, what, like the Dutch went to South Africa for a little bit, right? It is pronounced gouda on the peri peri chicken. Ow, it hurts, and I don’t have an instrument. Wait, idea! Scrape it with a lemon. You could just ask me for an instrument. No, the lemon perfumes the aromatics. that aromatize the perfume. And that’s called cooking. And that’s called perfuming. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, so we’re adding some roasted bell pepper and onion into the peri peri sauce, and then we’re gonna add some more dried spices here. We got paprika, we got a little bit of cayenne, I want that dry dusky chili heat. We got a little bit of dried chili powder. This is gonna be really spicy. Oh, we got a little bit of coriander. This is gonna be really spicy, but that works well with fries, and also all I want to eat is spicy food. Okay, what do you need? I don’t know, should I fill this out with a little water? I can get you some water. I got water. No, Nicole. Can I get, no, Nicole, can I get you anything? You want a LaCroix, do you want an Evian, a Fiji? Yeah, can you get me a hot water with lemon? My voice, so when I talk a lot on the podcast or like on the show, my voice, my voice box gets a little bit like, uncomfortable. Should I start doing that? I mean does your voice get uncomfortable? No, never. Oh, so you just keep talking. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, pro yapper. You’ve heard of elite yelpers. I’m an elite yapper. He’s a pro yapper, and I’m a pro napper. The other day somebody asked me about my tattoos, and I was like oh, I’m a chef which I just say for ease, and then they unironically looked me in the face and just said, oh, I’m a Yelp Elite. – And I went. – Is that your job? Great. Do you get paid to be a Yelp Elite? No. No, you don’t get paid to be a Yelp Elite. You just, become the worst person in the world. It’d be really cool if you could get paid to be a Yelp Elite. Alright, we’re gonna blend this up. There you go, crank that Soulja Boy. No! I was at karaoke the other day, and the host just hit the best karaoke rendition of Crank That Soulja Boy. And I mean, this guy, full dance. Just did the full mic on, everything. I have a question. Yeah, go ahead. I’ve known you for a really long time, and I’ve never known you as a karaoke man. But what is this new, like, this new vibe, this new karaoke man vibe that you have. I’m just trying to get out of my shell, you know what I mean? I’m such a shy person that doesn’t like making a spectacle of himself. You’re so stupid. And so, no, I gotta start diversifying the songs though, cause I’ve been doing it too much and people are getting bored of. Like you’re the guy that sings System of a Down every single time? No, Creep by Radiohead. Oh my god. Shoot, that’s so good Can we talk about how Pablo Honey is the best Radiohead album? Oh, I don’t know who Radiohead is. I only know Creep. What? I only know, I literally, I only know Creep. So, a lot of people don’t know, I want to get my own spoon. Okay, that’s rude. I’m an independent woman. That’s really awesome. Oh, that’s so good. Dude, perfect. Oh, that’s so good. More lemon or no? I don’t think it needs it. I think the red wine vinegar and the lemon, you want to add more lemon? You’re making noises with your mouth. You want to add more lemon? Use your words! Yeah, go for it. Come on, just a little bit. Sure, sure. We’ll really blast it with acid. God, that’s good. My cheese sauce looks really good. I think I’m gonna let it thicken a little bit more. Get nice and sexy. I, so you don’t, so, this is so weird. So you don’t think Pablo Honey’s the best. I’m a big Radiohead fan, that’s one thing. – Are you really? – I love Radiohead. I didn’t know that about you. The best song by Radiohead is Videotape. Or, In Rainbows. Can you do it in karaoke next time? No, I cry when I hear it actually. Oh, wait, that’s perfect! It’s my, it’s actually the one song that makes me cry. Karaoke’s about pathos. Pathos and seduction. Pathos and seduction? Yeah. Pathos and seduction. Can I have some of your salt? I thought that was our name for the podcast. I’m pathos. And I guess I’m seduction. We’re gonna win today because we’re using Ore-Ida fast food fries. Here’s the thing, we’re chefs, we could make our own fries from scratch. We can’t do a better job than Ore-Ida. Extra crispy fast food fries. If you don’t believe us, believe the fine folks at sporked.com They ranked all the frozen fries and decided that this was the winner, and we fully agree. These are so freaking good. They’re so good. Super crispy. Should we, should we tell the people a little secret about these french fries? I don’t even, do I know the secret? Yeah, I told, no, you, I told you already. Tell me, tell me, tell me the secret. It’s, we use them for Last Meals a lot. Oh yeah, we do, we do, we do. Full disclosure, a lot of the times we do make homemade fries, but sometimes, these just work really, really, really well. Don’t just dump them straight in like I do. Josh, you’re crazy. She’s so crazy, I love her. I love her, she’s so crazy. No, I love her. Are we gonna hire the Yelp Elites to come review our Nando’s franchise? Yeah, I think we should. Do you want me to make up a fake review? Yeah, do it. Okay. Wow! 10 out of 10! I just went to Josh and Nicole’s. Yelp’s out of 5! Yelp’s out of 5 stars, Nicole! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Wow! 5 out of 5! No, but people can write 10 out of 10. What? They can write that. All you do is just criticize, criticize, criticize. Yes, because I’m a Yelp bully, because I’m a Yelp bully. You are not a Yelp bully! You want me to give my Yelp review? You’re cosplaying as a Yelp bully. Yeah, sure, go ahead. Wow, Nando’s in Los Angeles. Never thought I’d see the day, but I’m so glad that I did. I walked in and the floors were very clean and the service staff was friendly. I ordered the quarter chicken, extra spicy for me. I thought it would be too hot, but then I ate it and I said, wow, that’s such incredible flavor. I got a side of the coleslaw. I found it a little bit under seasoned, but still, it’s coleslaw. Who really cares? Everything about my experience at Nando’s is absolutely fantastic. No available street parking. I got a ticket. One star. That! That’s how you Yelp Elite! You want me to chop parsley? Yeah, nice and fine. Nice and fine, chef. I didn’t put anything underneath the cutting board. Well, no, the cutting board, here’s the thing, the cutting board has non slip feet. As you can see, it’s doing such a good job as we just air hockey this around. Do you hold this for you? Yeah, yeah, hold it. No, but hold it, hold it here. Put your fingers there. No, I’m gonna get a boo boo. You’re doing great. I think you’re doing great. I’m not doing much. You’re doing as good as Dion Waiters did in this playoff round of the Cavs. There it is. Three! You can also get two points or one point. That’s correct, I think they should add a four point line. Fine parsley, chef. Good job. Fries out of the fryer, chef. Yeah, yeah. Oh, also, we’re gonna. Oh, look at how crispy. Instead of the traditional salt, we’re gonna go with chicken salt. Look at how crazy. I think it’s nice, it imparts a really nice umami flavor, and you can literally see the MSG flex in it, and I’m really into that. Cause MSG flex kinda look like fiberglass, which to me says eat this. Yeah, yeah, I agree. I’ve always wanted to eat glass. David Blaine eats glass and he’s a hero. Yo, I love David Blaine. I feel like I could have a really riveting conversation with David Blaine. Do you think that he would feel the same about you? Yeah, I do. Okay, good. Yeah. Can you pull up my sleeves? Oh! Up or down? What are you talking about? Like, up? No! I don’t know. You’re so stupid. I’m trying my best. Okay, I’m going to start plating this. Okay, I feel pretty good about this right now. The chicken is incredibly spicy. Peri peri’s super aromatic and, like, bright as well. Yeah, it’s beautiful. There’s a lot of grease in here. But we’ve got some fresh peri peri sauce to go on top. You, I feel like you have, like, a license to contract these. Contract what? Like, like, you’re really good at make, building these. – Thanks. – Like a contractor. You could be a contractor if you wanted to, if you wanted to apply yourself. I don’t think I want to apply myself, if I’m being honest, on anything really. You ever think about that? You’re like. Yeah, we could have been franchisers. Do I not work hard enough? And then you’re like, no. Do I want to? No, not at all, not at all. Yum, yum, yum! Now what? It’s wet with cheese. Yum! Yum! Yeah, keep saying that. Keep saying that. I like the positive affirmations. Good! Yum! Good! Yum! Yay! Yum! There it is. There it is. Now maybe switch it up a little bit because I feel like you’re getting a little flat on that. Okay, okay. Wow! There it is. Come on. Show me the emotion in it. Show me the emotion. And some onions, that’s so good, yeah, wait, no, wait for the parsley, cause we’re going sauce. I already did the green stuff. I can do it again! I know! Wow, good. These are the wettest fries I’ve ever seen. Okay, and that’s the best part about loaded fries is that they’re wet. God, that’s gonna be good. Okay. There you have it, peri peri loaded fries. Can I just eat it straight out of the pan? Do whatever you want. This is your show. Check this out. Just here for decoration. Vee! Yeah? Let’s make some loaded pho king fries! No, not the other word. We said “fo”. If you say “fa”. You say “fo”! And then say king, then it will, Youtube won’t like that. So I’m not, we’re not going to say it the right way. There was actually a restaurant by my house that is called “Fo” King. “Fo” King. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. “Fo” King. Yeah, like a king and a queen. Okay, so we have some things to make. We’re gonna make a sriracha mozzarella. Ooh, I love that. We have some cheese curds here. Uh huh. And then we have some delicious pho broth. I’m gonna make a gravy out of it. Yes. I don’t know how this is gonna turn out, so. I think it’s gonna be amazing and I think the judges are gonna love it because they feel our “Fo” king love. Yeah. Into it. It’s super strong. I’m going to be saying that all day. I wouldn’t mind if Josh and Nicole won today, because I feel. What? No! I’m not hearing that. I feel bad. I’m like at the point of like wins and he’s at the point of losses where I kind of just like feel bad for him. I feel like sorry for him. Do you think UConn and all these teams feel bad about being champions all the time? LSU women’s basketball? No! No, no, yeah, they don’t. I’m 8 and 8 right now and that’s just depressing. I can’t even get into playoffs like that. Did you catch that game? What game? The one last night. Please tell me which one. Yeah. There wasn’t one last night. The court? On the court? Yeah. Who was playing? Who was in the final four? Lily, tell me. The Texas Rangers. Yep. And. Yep, the ones from South Carolina. San Francisco Giants. Oh my god. That sounds right. Baseball just started. Okay. Yeah, so I’m adding more hot water to this, this is a great, if you’ve never made like homemade mozzarella, you use like rennet and there’s like this whole process, but you can find cheese curds like at a local cheesery store or even like I’ve seen it at like the Pavilions. And it’s just like a fun way to get into mozzarella making. I’m gonna start putting my, my hands in this hot water and kind of working it like this. Nice. It’s burning. But yeah, I feel like we’re kind of just breaking all of the pho rules. Like the point of pho is to have this really clean, pure broth. It’s soup. And we’re literally just putting it on fried french fries, adding cheese. There’s butter in the pho broth now. So to all the Vietnamese folks, don’t get mad at us. I think they would support us. Especially the ones that are from L.A. because this is something they would eat at a festival. It’s fusion, okay? Okay, I’m gonna continue working this mozzarella, working the sriracha in there. And then we’re gonna ball it up and pinch it off. And we’ll move on to the next step. “Fo” king. “Fo” king. Friends. Are you on Street Fighter? Is that like, GTA? No, but they do do that move in GTA. Oh, really? – So you’re close. – They’re just like in a stance? Yeah, when they’re like, you know, about to steal somebody’s car, they’ll be like. Oh, oh, oh no, my car’s getting stolen. No, no, no, I don’t think people run in their car like that. I just get out of the car and be like, take it. So, over here I have a, sous vide filet, a nice filet. That’s been sous vide in some of the pho broth. Because we really want to make them taste like “fo” king fries. Right, we got to bring the essence out. Yeah, so I’m going to cut this and pat it dry. I’m going to make a powder. These are dehydrated hoisin sheets that Lily was dehydrating for two days. It reminds me of fruit, not Froot Loops, what’s the, what’s the? Froot Loops. No, there’s a candy, that’s why I said it. It’s Froot Loops. – No. – No, it’s Fruit Loops. Oh my god, what are they called? I can’t think. Cheez-Its. Fruit Roll-Up Fruit Roll-Up. Oh, oh yeah, because it’s kind of leathery. Yeah, we’re just gonna see how this goes. I’m gonna throw all this in a blender and kind of make it super fine, and we’re gonna sprinkle it over our fries later. We’re gonna put this on here. Oh, yeah. Okay, this is sweet enough to go on a cake. You want a piece? Yeah, don’t, don’t lick my finger. Hoisin chip. Hoisin chip. Hoisin chip. This is our sriracha mozz, this is a nice orange color. Does it taste like sriracha? It tastes like sriracha. When was like the first time you had pho? I feel like it’s like the gateway drug to like Vietnamese food. Like that’s what you eat initially when you’re getting into Vietnamese food. Surprisingly, pho is my favorite hangover food. Yeah. When I’m like super lit off of like tequila. Yeah, I love it as a hangover food. The next morning. I just need broth and something very. It cleans you out. Settling. It cleans you out. For my sour tummy because that’s what tequila does to you. Your sour tummy? Yeah, it gives you sour tummy. You know about sour tummies? No. So me and my brother when we were in college, we went to college in two separate cities, but we would go eat pho in the morning and the little Vietnamese lady, her name was Hannah. Hannah? She loves my brother Dominique. That’s not her original name. It’s definitely not. That is her American name. But she was a very nice lady. She loved my brother to death because he was this big 6’5 guy. Like love loved him? No, like I think she had a crush on him. Okay, so. Cause she would come and bring the bowl and she’d be like. A little extra broth? A little extra noodle? Enjoy your soup. Oh, these look so good. These look really pretty. Okay, we’re putting them in a cast iron like deep dish pan, because we’re gonna boil the cheese on there. We want some nice melty cheese. You want to add the gravy? Yeah, this is kind of like inspired by, like, poutine. Absolutely. With the cheese curds and the gravy, so, okay. Top it with that cheese. I don’t know, peri peri. Peri peri, that ass out of here. Yeah. Food’s so nice, they named it twice. Well, you know what? You can, you can go “fo” king home. Yeah, that’s right! I will. Yeah. I hope you sleep well tonight. Thank you, I’ve been having a lot of trouble falling asleep recently. Maybe you should take some melatonin. This is going in the oven while they fight. I’ve been taking magnesium supplements that don’t really help. I can go to CVS and get you something to help with that. So, we’re gonna let that cheese melt in there while they argue like they’re sorority sisters. Go to Walgreens, I have a coupon. We’ll be back for our assembly. Surprise, you’re done. What do you, what are you trying? We’re cheerleaders. Who are you summoning? We’re, the ones at the bottom, where they push them up, but there’s no one to like, fly. Anyway, I didn’t make the cheer team. Okay, our fries are done. You’re trying to summon the fry god so we can. Hot behind! Ooh, that looks so sexy. They look so good, they look so good. Too bad we gotta take it out and now put it in a new bowl. Yes, have fun with that. Do you want me to help? Yeah, hold on. Move this, it’s hot. I think it’s a fun challenge. It’s making me have anxiety. Okay. This was super smart. This was super smart. Okay, that was good, Vee. Yeah! That was so good. Okay, this is nice. It smells so good. I’m gonna cut it nice and thin. I’m gonna add my onions, my jalapeños. Jalapeño. Sorry, we’re getting serious now. What? What do you mean? We’re getting serious now. Are we at a baseball game now? Yeah, we’re at a baseball game. You went from Grand Theft Auto to baseball? Yes. That’s crazy. Well, I went from basketball, which is a sport I know a lot about. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Did you, who else played basketball in this room? In this room? Yeah. Well, I didn’t go to their, like, games when I was younger. Okay. You? Can you guess what position I played? Yeah, you were totally a center goalie. You know what’s crazy? Did you say goalie? Yeah. Do you know what number that is? 69. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s the five. Yes, I was a, you know what’s crazy? You’re right. Actually, I was a five. When I was in high school, I was the tallest person on my team. Yeah, I know about you. Which is depressing. Why is that depressing? What, that I was the tallest person on my team? Yeah, I’m. Because I’m a guard. I thought you were center. Do you know what I mean? Yes! It’s when you, the, okay, a guard is when you’re, at the court. Yeah. And then you were, the referee’s there. Yeah, they’re, yeah. And you don’t want him to get hurt. I’ve hurt him before, yeah. And then, so you’re like, I’m gonna protect you. I’m just gonna use my fingers. Use your fingers. Your fingers are the cleanest thing on the earth. Yeah, don’t ignore my Band-Aid. I don’t have a finger condom on. There’s like so many times where I’ve worked in restaurants and I’ve had a Band-Aid on and a finger condom on and it like, I looked down and it wasn’t there anymore. And so I’d have to like search through all of my prep. The food? Yeah, like sneakily too, cause I wouldn’t want like the Head Chef to know. And I’ve found it in some crazy places, people. I want to, ew! Don’t. Delete that! Delete that! Oh, okay, we forgot Thai basil. Yeah, put some Thai basil. And then you have sriracha next, so you want to put maybe some little dots everywhere? – Yeah. – Or on the meat. On the meat! On the meat! I would want to order this at a game at, for any sport. Yeah. Yeah. I’m going to support you in your knowledge of sports. This looks great. Wait, one more. Wait, one more. One more. Yeah. There. There it is. There it is. There it is. This is our loaded, “fo” king fries. Take that, Josh and Nicole. Mindy, I’d tell you how the judging works, but you’re literally a producer on this show and one of the people who decided how the judging works. Yeah. Go for it. Well, I know how it was made, but just as like a little recap, could you explain? You have the loaded “fo” king fries. “Fo” king. We “fo” king love you! So, we made you some “fo” king fries. My Josh accent, bro. You have some hoisin seasoned fries. You got some filet. You got some homemade sriracha mozz. Boom! You got the classic “fo” king topping. That’s right! Enjoy. Yeah. Lily, you changed. No bean sprouts. I’ve changed. Pho gravy. “Fo” king gravy. I’m sorry, these textures with the pho flavors. Are they full? That’s crazy. Keep doing it? It’s doing it. I need a scoop of the gravy though. Wow, okay. Wow. You like what you taste? It’s pretty good. You’re welcome. That’s awesome. Okay, cool. Can I get another recap of this as well? I feel like we need a pun because they have the whole “fo” king thing. All right. Here are peri peri menopausal fries. So, what. Stop talking about menopause. That’s my line. That’s my line. That’s so crazy. Peri peri chicken fries, we got some fast food fries on the bottom, we have a lovely chowder cheese sauce. Then we have the peri peri chicken on there, we have peri peri mayonnaise, peri peri sauce, more lemon juice on top, onions, parsley, just a big ol’ flavor bomb in your mouth. And the bomb went off. Oh my god, that is really good too. You like it? You guys are really good at your job. I’m so happy that I’m here. You guys really did a good job, honestly. Mindy, so are you, but know that if Nicole and I lose, we are leaving this place to open a Nando’s franchise, and we don’t know what’ll happen to the business if we lose. We’ll call it Chickie Nando’s! Please make the leave. Mindy, do you feel that you can reach a valid conclusion right now? I think I can actually. Alright Mindy, I’m gonna give you a 3, 2, 1 countdown and on 1, you’re gonna put your hand over the winning dish in 3, 2, 1. Let’s go! No, no, no! I feel bad for you! You’re sad! We all get sad sometimes, and that’s okay. You know? Everybody has, what? I’m trying to find the things that really mean a lot to me. You know what means a lot to me? Is beating your ass in the kitchen. So, we’re not opening a Nando’s? Can I to try this? No! Please, come on. I’m not opening a Nando’s, right? I can stay here? I can stay? You can stay. Yay, I get to stay! Now the operating cost for one year of Nando’s goes to Lily and Vee. That’s how this game works. Oh my god, I’m so scared. This is Lily’s first time losing in a long time and I don’t think she’s taking it well. It’s okay, you’ll get used to it. I did bad. I sure did. Mindy, thank you so much for your honesty. Mindy lied. Those look incredible. I’m going to steal those and run away with them. Thank you all so much for watching. Check out all our other videos. Drop a comment what you think the best “fo” king fries here were today. See you all next time. Do you love french fries? Then why don’t you marry them? Or go to sporked.com to check out their best frozen french fries.