I used to sleep in college like this like in class yeah I would just put my hip forehead down like this you wake up and you’d have like a red squash there and I put a grease mark on the table just like that one so you were that guy in the class before me that made this desk greasy now I would come back and go get it ready for the next person deep in the future tunnel of the past a single drop from the sea of Academy Award winning Best Actress tears fell into the soaking center of the regrettably unforgettable germinating the fantastic lot of joy and subsequently conceiving the mythical show with record link on this week’s show a musical performance Craigslist crank calls shaycarl Man of Steel the middle school musical rocket Lincoln and more and now yes right welcome to the mythical show your half-hour of not having to click around all be enter dad’s this coming Sunday is Father’s Day I don’t know if you knew that your father your father should have gotten the memo so it’s big weekend this show itself is got some Father’s Day themed delemus you don’t have to be a father to be here you can be anybody but it’s gonna mean a little bit more to you if you don’t if you’re our Father if you are a father okay yeah that’s true or or a child and a human and dad my actual father thanks for joining us he doesn’t watch the show my mom watches the show in the back bedroom on her iPhone and she laughs and tells him things and he’s like yeah your mom told me about it he doesn’t watch it though okay quite a shame but have you Father’s Day dad is there something you need to work out there not no I’m totally at peace with it now what we’re going to start off diving deep into fathered enforce elves I think you’ll be good to just clear the air and say you know what we are father’s but we’re not perfect fathers I know you think that were the best fathers in the world but we’re not actually we have some things to confess to you like the time that I left luck in the car while I went into Walmart to buy batteries and how old was he two months old I forgot that I was a father I’m serious I totally forgot that I had gone through the process of having a child with a woman and then I was a father I used to myself well I’ll okay yeah you went back out I remember while I was getting in doublea’s you could be arrested for that you know something like that nobody knows yeah the internet doesn’t know now uh I left Lily at the park two weeks ago yeah I mean we were there with some friends and then I thought they were going to head back to the house and me and my friend we were walking back and we got all the way there and she’s not there and then we go all the way back in there she is just talking to two old women and the doll strangers nothing wrong talking to strangers yeah yeah I mean if they have pets it’s okay kids I didn’t yield actually then that’s not true I didn’t feel like a great father I poked Shepard in the eye for like disciplinary reasons I do not use poke guy poking for disciplinary perfu don’t mind me boy I’m a Pookie idea he was he was two years old and I was dancing with him you know a father-son dance and I had him in my arms and I was pushing my arm out and somehow I pushed my hand and my thumb right into his eye socket and I felt the thumb go into my sock and he immediately had like blood on the white part that I was bleeding yeah I got really scared I called an eye doctor Shh okay well yeah I mean you I can’t top that he’s okay he can see I mean some of you heard the story and gmm where I went fishing with father in law and with Lincoln and I thought I had a big one after I cast but then I realized I had just sunk the hook into the back of Lincoln’s head yeah like a 60 pan I was like yo yanking on it and then like I’d nearly scalped my side it would have been worth it though we were doing a good story for him the reason I don’t have any hair at all is because my bad thought I was a fishing trip with my father okay I was playing baseball with Locke just playing catch okay and I noticed that he was moving out of the way of the ball and catching it with the glove over here in his body was over here son you don’t move out of the way at the ball you put the glove in front of your body and you catch it through the next one right at him he held his glove up and went right over his glove hit him right in the face I started crying I felt like a total moron any as I wanted to play catch sense okay so he’s afraid of baseball okay but you guys also know that thanks to clown shark Lando is totally afraid of clowns and sharks and though I haven’t clown shocked him again he is still totally afraid of them like you remember last week we were down and he knows that there’s like those flying sharks from the June holiday sketch we did and that they kind of lived down here I heard him say to you daddy when we go past that door can you close my eyes for me yeah he did not want to see those sharks but why can’t he close his own eyes you need to teach him that he can he doesn’t need assistance right I think he you can just you want to be this lead him by the hand past the sharks I felt sorry for which makes me a good father you have you scarred him for life he can’t watch Shark Week anymore he can’t enjoy some of the finer things no he’ll just he’ll this fully experienced sharply kill yeah you know it’s like he’s there when Locke was 18 months old he appropriately so locked himself in the bathroom with the water running appropriate because that’s his name yeah he locked himself in the bathroom and my wife started freaking out we were young parents we hadn’t really experienced anything too traumatic with him and Jessie was like he could be drowning himself I’m like oh he’s gonna drowning himself in the sink but I started believing the worst and then she’s like you got to knock the door down I start I’m going to I’ve never done this before I go into full police mode what about picked a little huh like put a little I was in the home and I just started leaning into the door I nearly broke my shoulder I didn’t break the door it took four tries and then I was like I’m going kick style I kicked it in I get in there of course Locke is sitting there at the sink he’s going because there’s a torch but many said a monster has been tearing the door – yeah okay for those of you who are parents out there you can probably relate to this next one I think that when you’re driving in a car and your kids in the back seat that’s when some of the deepest questions of life come up I was riding with Lincoln in the car last week and I’m driving and all of a sudden he’s like dad can I ask you a question I’m like shorts on and I look in the rearview mirror and he’s like I know this may sound a little weird but have you ever killed anybody totally sincere have you ever killed aunt and my initial thought was who do you think I am so I just like what kind of what kind of father is that that his son has to sincerely ask have you ever killed anybody what does I say about you man uh well I had to think about it a few minutes and then I was like no does he think you were like a veteran or something or like no I think you’ve never done anything except make Internet videos I think he meant like in like a sword fighting kind of action figure like I’m an action hero to him and I’m a dad okay well I’ll go and give you I mean like it some time to deal surely I’ve killed somebody now we may not be the best fathers in the world but we think our dads are the best dad in the world so much so that we wrote a song we bragged on our daddies called who’s your daddy who’s your daddy my father who’s your dad my father and he’s better than your daddy oh my daddy can bitch press four hundred pounds eight hundred if he uses both arms my daddy can make a delicious pizza using nothing but found items from your backyard my daddy ran a marathon in under two hours on his hands my daddy was a lead singer of 90% of all popular 80s hair bands my daddy runs the economy from an office very deep within the Earth’s core my daddy catches swordfish with a fish sword a fish story my daddy has a monkey bump of the brings of bananas and fresh herbal teas my daddy wanna pull a surprise the last time he wrote a list of groceries my daddy was arrested once for smelling too good and for being too handsome my daddy kidnapped himself and then escaped instead of paying his own ransom my daddy jumped out of a plane and landed safely on another plane flying out on lower altitude my daddy conducted all the surveys used over the past 30 years on the family Huey my daddy invented the wheel my daddy invented inventions my daddy put up a cardboard cutout of himself in our cul-de-sac for crime prevention my daddy is an astronaut fireman specializing in space fires my daddy claims to relax by work in oil rigs when he retired my daddy has the festival set up in his honor called addcom where people cosplay is my dad my daddy choreograph the knife fight for Michael Jackson’s bad you mean beat it yes that my daddy can get gardens to grow just by looking at them in a nurturing manner my daddy challenged the hawk to a fight but the whole got scared and turn into Bruce Banner my daddy won a best daddy competition where he and your daddy were the only competitors my daddy was an editor on alien versus Predator really yes but he was uncredited my daddy is an Olympic gold medalist and all events except not being awesome my daddy genetically engineered a plant to grow totally fried onion blossoms my daddy could beat up your daddy that’s it yep my daddy wasn’t like a president but he turned it down because he was like I don’t feel like it my daddy released the Kraken just so he could smite it my daddy wins every card game he plays except solitaire where it’s a draw my daddy has never failed to retrieve a prize of that game with a ball my daddy created a barbecue recipe but love our people of both North and South Carolina my daddy was asked to build a fence once maybe you’ve heard of it it’s called a Great Wall of China my daddy can teleport my daddy has telekinesis my daddy can telekinesis boy meaning he has the ability to move objects with his mind and then mentally transferred himself over the way he moved him so he can then use that object over in that place that he moved into my daddy knows how to end a song perfectly just like I do it didn’t in stood in in of the songs still going I’m trying to get the DJ’s attention he’s not seeing me maybe you need to call your daddy yeah I could call my daddy I’m sure he could help you see hi I’m Colby and I’m from Elk Grove California and you’re watching the mythical show and now Goodin welcome to the my selfish LS 7sl kosher your half-hour I’m not having on the Internet hello how are you doing today great dude um today we’re gonna put on really great show for you mmm is a copy for all your mythical piece now we’re going to talk about all our fears my worst fear is since I’m a diver I’m scared to flop off a 10-meter because there’s a person who flopped off the 10-meter she broke like it’s her kidney snapped and then like her organs got busted ah that’s thankful my worst fear is toilet um when I flush um and I’m afraid a weird goblins coming out he’s gonna eat me I know it’s pretty weird we have some cicada challenge stuff we got to talk about fed a lot of cool videos coming in Trevor especially oh I never used to kinda the heart of a squirrel have you ever hold one my cousin does he gave me one but he made me wear gloves and he doesn’t wear gloves hmm the winner of this cage challenge gets the mythical beast prize pack including this new poser if you don’t need to cicada it you can get one of these for a reasonable price really cool it’s got this stuff from the intro you have the mythical show duh they’re going to sign them by the poster it helps us live what are you going to buy with the money that when we sell the posters we are going to buy our food bills more monsters now it’s time for a segment called Craigslist crank-call where our dads asked to build a nudist colony in a pasture I think okay back in our hometown Buies Creek I hope we don’t know these people we could there is a pasture for rent for $200 a month uh well I think we could turn that into a nudist colony hey let’s go Yeah right we could just be so spooky yes hello yes I understand that you have a pasture for rent in the the Buies Creek area yes well and what’s your name sir Roger Roger my name is Larry Rasmussen and this is my good brother bud Rasmussen hi thanks for thanks for having us today we’re interested in your land had a couple of questions that relate to it to use we’ve tried time and time again all across the country to start a full freedom colony and this ten acres with two ponds really sounds like the perfect place for it what do you made a full freedom policy have you ever heard of a full freedom colony before no there are no dues there’s no exchange of money we would not build anything on the property if there’s there’s tree cover around the edges that would be great because the freedom is freedom from clothing clothing optional you know and what kind of tree cover is there uh there’s some different areas of the past that have tree cover but not a whole lot and how deep are the ponds are they above waist deeper yeah but don’t think I would be if you’re covering my clothing-optional as being scary different or decade or whatever a lot of them and that’s really our national state Roger yeah don’t like I look the inch because I have have two other rental properties here as well unless they could join the freedom collective yeah and they probably put what about your home is it can you see out any window into the pasture area yes well we we are just really really interested in getting this full freedom colony started we might even be willing start half freedom don’t believe so based on what I’m hearing well we could do like small loincloths or something like that you know just sort of I think the thing is is people see men and loincloths in neural whoa that’s is wow this is kind of crazy and Tarzan and and then like a year later they’re like oh well now there’s his grand a kid so in this I didn’t even notice yeah I understand that I just don’t like it would work here do you have any friends with land I can’t think of anyone right now that is interested do you have any enemies with land because I think that may be where we’re headed that’s a lot to have any enemies do you have any other questions for us would you like us to send you more information about our to send your freedom initiative enough I don’t believe so but I appreciate it anyway okay all right been there done that yep now who is she luck and finding some blood okay Thank You Roger take care you’re the best right right said he’s been there done that yep the mythical male Boulder gets bigger this week we got among many other things a rubber frog from Jacob and East Point Michigan an American flag from Josh and Boston Massachusetts rhettandlink rocks from Emma and Baxley Georgia and great value fruit stacks from Sarah and Madison Alabama want to mail us something visit facebook.com slash Breton link for more information thank you hello and welcome to Daddy battle 2013 through a series of challenges today this competition will determine who the best dad ever is first up the father of two boys Rhett hey next we have the father of two boys and one girl link yeah dad and finally you know him and his family from their YouTube channel Shaytards shaycarl I’m the best father around as an extra bonus today each dad will receive a point for every child that they have so Rhett you get two points but yes link you get three points three points and Shay you wind up with a total of five extra points these points will go to his babies the babies on the way hey Jim the womb that counts oh yes it does count I felt it kick it’s a point the first event today is the peanut butter and jelly sandwich competition the dad that can make the best PB&J sandwich the fastest will win the round but here’s the catch you must cut off all of the crusts and slice it into four perfect triangles this round is worth three points begin guys here we go give it up oh you gotta go pick up my first not too much peanut butter dude oh snap come on mama lady oh geez for trying done done what is that those are not time you muted it’s like a bomb detonated in the middle of it in my in my house my kids would be all over there they eat that with a spoon or a straw I’d have to say that link comes there closest to the triangular-shaped best dad ever his children cheer from the wing Lois dad ever the second round of daddy 2013 is a quiz round each contestant will receive two points per correct answer question number one which of these is used to carry a baby a Bumbo be the Jorn c ba p and d boom ba i see that all of you are through early please hold up your answer bjorn B for B or D for Butler all of you are correct what is the general rule of thumb for the amount of time a child should spend on a timeout hold up your answers please oh that’s a grandfather minutes equals age of child what did you put you bought about five minutes the correct answer is one minute for every year the child is old how do you know that yes dad I have some good father and right there the thing is I don’t never have to put my kids in timeout because they’re perfectly behaved so I don’t know if that counts for any points right it doesn’t which one of these foods is not allowed for babies under one-year-old a honey bee cheese sea beans and D curry cheese hold your cards up please yeah a honey a honey wait what do you mean by honey you can’t put it on bread and I don’t have like peanut butter honey sandwiches like when do you get ilysm box of oh is that what it is I thought they’d like steak choke on honey oh I thought it was choked yeah really I know the real reason it’s like some sort of disease in there the correct answer is a children should be at least how old before they are allowed to eat popcorn hey it’s Mellie’s hooting I just like shut up and eat your finger hold your cards up please four four dude my two-year-old eats popcorn every day why children under four should not be allowed oh yeah great dance man little worse dad I would never want to be your kids honey you gotta have popcorn what about honey covered popcorn yeah what is the longest amount of time a child should stay in a poopy diaper okay time is up your answers please 15 minutes have a sameul a time you let your kid stay in poopy diapers I mean sometimes I smell lando and it’s been like three hours when you’re watching it now this is where your fatherhood is obviously lacking because in my world if that child poops his diaper I didn’t think about empathy and I think how long would I want to send a poopy diaper and no amount of time is acceptable Shay is correct it should be changed immediately I can go half an hour okay next question number six on the final question you should call your doctor if your child has a temperature of a anything over ninety eight point six be anything over 100 and one point four see anything over 102 point to see 102 point to 101 I hate using valid to 102 boy – and the answer is c 102 point cuz i’m a diagnose on the head we’ve reached our final event so each of you will have 15 diapers in a trash can you will receive three points for every dirty diaper that you can throw away go oh I’m shorten it we have ten nine eight seven six five four done no how would you make I think I made three bring that many over here I made four okay I made three three three ah not quite yet link we have a golden diaper round four new diaper that I’m getting it again you will receive ten points look like a huge hamburger we’re at your first no pressure right Oh looks good long if you make this I have to make mine to win yeah I miss this I oughta make a win I want to make it so bad just for you children I love you okay think about it that counts second is that is in oh look at that you’re George oh we need it it’s happenin there’s a look at that your fellow half of the diapers in I would have to say that counts oh the pressure is on buddy roll dude no pressure buddy there you have the final score red 17 link 25 and Shay 31 I have to say that even if we go back and give shade half of the points for the golden diaper still do it what is this I’m taking this home to you guys you’re not getting this back from me more of this every time I wake my kids up kids ready for school look I’m your number one dad how many dads do they have don’t want to talk about that be sure to tune in tomorrow for another daddy battle no we’re not when I doing another one of these dog who done that Don says we should introduce Man of Steel the middle school musical that’s right people we’ve done another middle school musical this time for Man of Steel you know about this we get middle schoolers I’ve seen it it’s one of my favorite segments really yeah cuz it’s you guys aren’t in it in the endless reaches of the universe there once existed a planet called Krypton let’s go there now just before it explodes as two parents prepare to send their super baby to earth well baby you’re going on a trip we packed you a bottle and good night moon no being shot into space might be traumatizing will be worth it very soon with Kevin Costner the greatest actor in our universe baby Sheldon Kevin Costner stars the bygone Bull Durham JFK and Field of Dreams the poster and swing vote 3,000 miles to Graceland Jane cup and draft day that ones in post-production Kevin Costner Shh the paparazzi can’t know I’m here call me Paul Kent in junior chores I’m Justin m3/day normal kids with heat vision fire playing stickball poof nothing to see just an everyday normal kid goin fishin saving my son you need to find your purpose why don’t you become fishermen take this I sold it from the South water world ah heart attack Paul don’t forget hot fields and mccoys is now on blurry after the fishing boat clerk got a real job working as a journalist at the Daily Planet but who is also secretly Superman and though I loved his coworker Lois Lane she was in love with someone else I don’t get it what does Superman have that I don’t have oh Clark Superman is tall penor so tall Superman’s eyes are blue where’s your eyes are blue Superman smile it’s as bright as the Sun and your smile is also a bright as the Sun but like in an uncool way see the difference kneel before Zod he looked out Lois I gotta make a phone call oh you can just use my blackberry are we just going in there to change into Superman what oh never mind your Luck’s run out Zod you don’t know who you’re messing with if you wanted to win well then you pick the wrong guy cuz I’m like other superheroes kanpai – kanpai some say for my but that’s debatable rock beats illusion paper beats Rock the flying piezo I felt everything I can also fly oh I can buy and I can also fly like a bar deaf I can also fly pretty plus I can die he’s just an everyday normal kid thanks to shaycarl for being on the mythical show tweet it che and tell him you think he’s the greatest father in the world next to the two of us and thank you for being on the mythical show and thank you to our kids for making us fathers I think that’s how it works guys you want to spend the mega we love with mythicality what’s that Lando you don’t want to spend a nice minute then oh no I got it you got to get past this Lando you don’t want to be this part of this there’s not a shark on it spin it Lily go for it oh this is more cool than Adam face tattoos everybody gets face tattoos we got face tattoos wow this is fun well kids you know one day you could get real tattoos on your face how’d you guys feel that went good good do you want to take the show over and when you die I’ll take away business so morbid so it’ll be like if I die first and it’ll be you and length for a little bit of a locking link but if you guys die at the same time then you’ll both take over yeah it’s easy that way all right you guys should get up and give us our jobs back