[Rhett] We have requested four chickens for a number of reasons. We’re gonna have one of these cross the busiest street in Los Angeles. It’s the busiest road in America. Changing lanes? – [Link] Yes. Walking a chicken is not like walking a dog. – [Rhett] It’s more like walking a dinosaur. Our goal is to find which one of these chickens wants to cross the road the most. Why did the chicken cross the road? The thing that, I usually think about when somebody asks that question is I have a picture in my mind and that picture is of a chicken standing on like the side of a dusty dirt road on a farm or something like that. When we cross a road, I mean, there’s a crosswalk, and there’s a button, and there’s a sign, and there’s traffic, and there’s people, and it’s, it’s a totally different thing. So we wanted to see if we could get a chicken to cross the road on our terms. Let’s see some chickens. Victoria! Hey, Victoria. Good morning. Before we go any further, we would like to assure you that all the animal action featured in this video follows the guidelines set forth by the Film and Television Office of the American Humane Society. Specifically, their guidelines for working with birds. And a chicken is a bird. That’s right, Link. A chicken is a bird. Put Rhett on the heavy part. I mean, you have a child in your back. Well, yeah, you have a child in your back, I have a bad back. I think we’re even. Yeah. You’re not doing anything. You’re literally not doing anything. I feel like I’m doing quite a bit. You could help here, Link. Oh, I am. Just right here in the middle. Let’s see the nesting box while we’re here. Oh! Good God! Oh, it’s got an egg. There’s an egg. Yeah, grab it. What? Will she care? She might. But she doesn’t have teeth. That’s the freshest egg. That’s the freshest egg I’ve ever seen. And it doesn’t have a scent. I don’t know why I was smelling it. I thought it would smell like shit, but that’s not, they don’t, they don’t poop out the eggs. – [Victoria] They do not poop out the eggs. They do only have one opening though called a cloaca, so it is. So they do poop out the eggs? Yeah, I know about that. My aunt’s got one. So who is this? Well, she’s whoever you would like her to be. Oh, we get to name them? You do get to name them. What about Chloe? I was kind of thinking maybe we would like observe something about their different personalities in order to name them, but then we kind of just went with, oh, this chicken has a cloaca, Chloe. – [Victoria] I’ve got purp. – [Rhett] Lucy Lavender. That’s good. – [Link] Lucy Lavender. Birdie gets blue. What color is a cloaca usually? Red. Red? Yep. There you go. It’s an orifice. Chloe gets a red band. Drumstick. Yeah. – [Victoria] Yellow for fried chicken. Yellow for fried chicken. Okay, Victoria, we’re going to give an opportunity to cross the road to one of these chickens. Okay. Now, I assume that that’s going to involve a harness of some kind, or a leash? So the leash is there more for if something scares them, they might, startle and try to run away, or something. Okay, so it’s not unheard of and it’s not gonna hurt the chicken. No, no. I think our goal is to find which one of these chickens wants to cross the road the most. We don’t want a chicken that’s just willing. We want a chicken that wants to cross the road. Eager. Clucking eager. Chickens, we welcome you into our space. We have an amazing opportunity for one of you. We know that, it is probably common amongst your kind to discuss the crossing of the road. I would expect it might even be your religion. Of course, I don’t know if you crossing the road is as significant to you as it is to us, but we hope that’s what we can offer you as an opportunity to fulfill your destiny. We got another egg! Okay, this is, this could be a problem. I feel a personal obligation, as their chicken daddies, we should eat the chicken eggs. You know, I don’t love eggs. I don’t hate eggs, but I don’t, I don’t, I don’t love eggs. Well, how do you like your eggs? Scrambled? Well, there’s, there’s a lot more ways to have your eggs than just scrambled. I think maybe you just haven’t discovered all the wonderful ways there are to enjoy eggs and that’s your problem. Is this gonna turn into an egg ad? I think it might turn into an egg song. And playback. (♪) You can enjoy your eggs (♪) (♪) In myriad ways. (♪) (♪) Okay.(♪) (♪) Poached or scrambled. (♪) (♪) Some like them baked. (♪) (♪) Hey! (♪) (♪) But if a little bit of (♪) (♪) yolk won’t make you queasy You might request them over easy (♪) (♪) Yes I’ve heard of that but I’ve not tried them yet. (♪) (♪) Mostly because I didn’t even know what it meant. (♪) (♪) Hahaha, well I got you. (♪) (♪) Got me what? (♪) (♪) You flip a sunny side up upside down and be gentle so (♪) (♪) the yolk doesn’t run around. (♪) (♪) That sounds hard. (♪) (♪) No, over hard is when you overcook the over easy and (♪) (♪) the bottom gets charred. (♪) (♪) So over easy is harder than over hard? (♪) (♪) Yes, over easy is harder in almost every regard. (♪) (♪) So over easy is hard. And over hard is easy. (♪) (♪) Over easy is hard. And over hard is easy peasy. (♪) (♪) My life was simple, just moments ago. (♪) (♪) Then you told me this damn thing, I didn’t ask to know. (♪) (♪) Next thing you’ll tell me is Iceland is green. (♪) (♪) And Greenland is covered with ice. (♪) (♪) I am so mixed up inside of my mind, I fear that I might. (♪) (♪) Die. (♪) (♪) So we’re getting to know their, not only their names, but their personalities. So that we can see, who’s game for the road crossing? Do you think they care that I eat their eggs in front of them? I think they like it. I don’t think that they’ve noticed. When the little fleshy beard hits your hand, it’s kind of a nice little thing. Now that they all know that I’ve got good stuff in my hand. I’m gonna put it in my hand. And I’m gonna walk around. I’m gonna get a good distance away. I’m gonna see which one gets to me the fastest. Maybe this is the way to begin, like, a little chicken race. We’ve never done this before. Can you tell? It seems to me it makes sense. If they can cross the coop area, maybe they can cross the street. So we just want to see which one is most eager to cross. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. Oh, Chloe was definitely first. We got Lucy again. Drumstick is always distracted. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. I’m going to simulate traffic. [Rhett] Ok, Chloe is first again. I mean, Chloe, hey. She’s two out of three. Ok, and then followed closely by Birdie… and then by Lucy. And again, Drumstick. – [Link] Drumstick. What’s your deal, Drumstick? – [Rhett] Well, you know what, maybe Drumstick is just slow to pick up on what’s going on. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Here we go, Chloe! She’s right there again. Same exact order. We got Chloe, then Lucy, and then Birdie picks it up and then Drumstick. is always last. After day two, Chloe’s the frontrunner. Here is the treats, and here is the harness. Wanna eat treats off the harness? – [Rhett] All good things come from harness. Harness brings blessings. Oh, I’m horny for harness. Okay, nope. Look at that. There’s just a harness on that chicken’s back. – [Rhett] Oh, we’re halfway there. – [Link] Lucy. Harness means safety. Safety means crossing. I’ve got a harness. And I’m so happy, I’m stepping in chicken shit, and I don’t even care because I have on a harness, and it makes everything great and safe. I have on two harnesses, and I’m eating, I’m eating what came out of your body. – [Link] Look at that. I could cross all day. I’m so tired of crossing in here, I need a road. Yeah. What’s the plural for harness? Harni. Look at the harni. Look at the harni on the big guy. I’m harney for harni. Check it out, chickens! – [Rhett] Chickens in the house! – [Link] Chickens in the house! Chickens in the house! Whenever we have a VIP guest, we always like to give them a tour of the set. But usually they don’t just stop and take a shit on the floor. Well, Tom Hanks did. Oh, yeah, right. Except Tom Hanks. Would you like to sit in my chair? This is what it feels like to be me! This is what it feels like to be me. Chloe is so inquisitive, like, she looks around in amazement at everything. Oh, they’ve heard about this place. Oh, wow, it’s, it’s actually, it’s bigger than I thought it would be. If this chicken shits in Stevie’s chair, don’t tell Stevie. How does it feel to be the mother hen? She seems like she’s just up for anything, you know? Is she emerging as our frontrunner? Our front crosser? – [Link] Yes. I present to you Cloaca The first of her name, a.k.a. Chloe for short. The chosen one who shall cross the road and get to the other side! ((Epic Music)) My knees hurt. Okay, yeah. Keep talking in that accent you were talking in. I am going to raise the left wing. Just like that. Now. There you have it. Chosen one, I’m about to leash you. And then I will unleash you to the world. No, keep the leash on. I know, but just like, figuratively. Release. You are leashed, but you are also unleashed. You are safe. We got a chicken on a leash. Go forth! Go forth! Walking a chicken is not like walking a dog. No. At all. It’s more like walking a, dinosaur. You know what I’m saying? You can imagine like just putting a leash on a T-Rex and then expecting it to do what you wanted it to, and it just decides to just ((Dinosaur Screech)) go around the parking lot. That was basically, on a much smaller scale, what was happening with us. Yeah. – [Rhett] Oh, look at that. – [Link] Yes, yes, yes. Walking a chicken. Just another normal day at Mythical Entertainment. Can we pick up the pace? I mean, how many seconds do you have to cross a road on the crosswalk? Food man! – [Link] She’s interested. Get the food while you can. It’s in my hand. You gotta follow the food man. Follow the food man. Follow the food man. Follow the food man. If you can, can – [Rhett] We gotta get her out where there’s sidewalks and roads and just, you know, like, pathways and stuff. Not just like a asphalted parking lot. Okay, Chloe. Look at that. We’re in the big city now. We’re just gonna go straight across, okay? You’ve got about 28, 29 seconds to do this as soon as we give you the opportunity. Okay, Chloe. This is your big moment. Come on, Chloe. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Everybody’s crossing. Get it. Everybody’s crossing. You can do it too. Get it. 18 seconds. Come on, come on, Chloe. We’re running out of time, Chloe. 14 seconds. Chloe, we’re running out of time. 10 seconds. What? What are you? Four, three, two, one. Oh, God. I’m sorry, I panicked. I was just going on instinct. The numbers were getting low, single digits. You’re a results oriented person. Right, I mean, she got to the other side. Yeah, but it did not feel great. I mean, let’s go back to the question. Why did the chicken cross the road? What if it wasn’t to get to the other side? What if it was to have a glorious crossing experience? Oh, for the joy of crossing. – [Link] You know? Yeah, and what was in that being carried across? I don’t know what kind of joy the chicken had in that. It was a bit haphazard. Yeah. Okay, Chloe. We bit off more than we could chew before. I think this is more your speed. Just a nice, quiet neighborhood. No one’s watching. – [Jason Segel] Hey, Rhett and Link. Hey, Jason Segel. Hey, you recognized me. Cool. Of course. What you guys doing? We’re trying to get our chicken Chloe to cross the road. – [Link] It’s kind of hard, actually. You can’t force a chicken to cross the road. Really? The harder you squeeze, the less you juice. You know what I mean? I thought that the more you squeeze, the more juice. You would think that, but no. And also, we’ve been told not to squeeze the chickens because, just for their safety. But that’s how you get the eggs. Listen, fellas, if I have one piece of advice, you don’t walk a chicken. You let a chicken walk you. What are you doing? I’m just walking my chicken. How do you know all of this? Oh, yeah, I found out a long time ago with Paul Rudd. Oh, you and Paul Rudd did a thing like this? Oh, no, Paul Rudd’s the name of my chicken. Oh. Oh, but named after your friend and famous actor, Paul Rudd? No, I never put that together. ((Jason Laughs)) Okay, bye guys. Bye bye. Bye. See ya, Paul. Don’t walk a chicken. A chicken walks you. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. And Jason helped us realize that if your horse is a chicken, and your water is a road, Then the sky’s the limit. Exactly. In order for it to count as a crossing, Chloe has to have the experience of crossing. And if I think about Jason and his stroller, you know, what if we put Chloe in our version of a stroller? Let’s say it’s got four wheels, but the wheels are bigger and it locomotes on its own, maybe via a motor. You talking about a car? I’m talking about a car, like a vehicle. That’s one hell of a road. This is gonna be the most epic road crossing in the history of chickendom. Interstate 5 is the busiest stretch of road in America. 506,000 cars on average every single day. That’s over half a million. That’s right, Link. How did you get this number? What’s your source? You remember when I went on that two week vacation last summer? Oh, you were clicking on the… Yeah, I was. Clicking vehicles? No, TJ, uh, went and got some information from the California Department of Transportation and then he told me so I could then say it and seem like I knew what I was talking about. Well, Chloe’s gotta get across all ten lanes including the median. I mean, crossing this road is crossing the median too. So if we come back at like 3 A.M. We find like the, the least traffic time. This is Los Angeles, California, and 3 A.M. there’s still gonna be cars on this road. There’s cars on this road all the time. I think the most important thing is, she’s gotta be walking, and it’s gotta feel like crossing the road. It’s gotta look to her like the experience of crossing a road. Right. The sensation. that Chloe will be experiencing is crossing the road. Of course, yes! This is not a chicken VR situation. – [Rhett] We’re gonna give you the experience of a lifetime. You’re gonna have so much to tell your chicken friends about. – [Link] Is she falling asleep or is she visualizing her victory? – [Rhett] Yeah, she’s doing it in her mind. We can make this work! We’re gonna make this work! We’re gonna show you what we have engineered in this vehicle. We call it the, Chicken Road Crossing Experience. You know, this is kind of like, Pimp My Ride, where they’re like, hey look at what we’ve done. Can I be Xzibit? This is the exhibit. Okay. Check it out! Whoa! ((Cool Music)) – [Rhett] Everything in here is designed to create a completely authentic road crossing experience that is totally safe for Chloe. Yo, this is sick! Super sick! Okay, I’m gonna drop that energy because I just can’t, can’t maintain it. We are going to be taking this van across the interstate with the chicken safely and securely inside. And the chicken will actually be moving on this treadmill that goes at one half mile per hour. Which is one eighteenth of the top speed of a chicken by the way, Link. Oh. Cause they can go nine miles per hour. And of course chickens have eyes on the side of their head. That is why to the side of the treadmill we have a monitor. Which is what you would see if you were crossing an interstate. We don’t want to roll down the window because we don’t want the chicken to leave the vehicle. So we have a fan. It will be blowing at 70 miles per hour. And of course we have a don’t walk sign and that will correspond to when we are getting the chicken to cross the interstate. Very important, because we want the chicken to be following all the rules. Bro, I wish I was the chicken! How do we power all this equipment, you ask? Powering everything! We got this totally gangster battery! And, so nobody gets it twisted out there on the road, everybody knows we got a chicken on a treadmill on board. Yeah, you can get your own at Mythical.com For when you get your chicken on your treadmill. For real, we’re selling it. Yeah, of course we are. If you want one. The time has come. Okay, Chloe, say goodbye to your friends. You’re about to become a whole new chicken. They’re probably not even going to recognize you when you get back. – [Link] Place her in, what is this called? Well, it’s a stroller. Jason Segel let us have one of Paul Rudd’s old strollers, which is very nice of him. Hear ye, hear ye, all hail Queen Chloe, the first of her name. Epic crosser of roads. A chicken! What he said! So you be on chicken duty? I’ll drive? You be on chicken duty, I’ll drive. I’m a good lane crosser. I’m a pretty internationally known good driver. I’ve been in less accidents than you. Like, what nations know about you driving? America. You’re smaller than me. You worked on a chicken farm when you were in, like, high school. Well, I have relatives. I have a bad back. I’ve just given you four reasons. It would be my honor to touch Chloe and be in close proximity to history being made. Good girl, Chloe. Are you ready for your big moment? You’re going to make chicken history. Yes. Everyone’s going to be watching, but don’t even think about that. All you need to be thinking about is your own experience. Be in the moment. The official width of a lane on the interstate is 12 feet. Chloe is going to be traveling approximately 70 miles per hour down, but we’re not worried about that. Laterally, she’ll be traveling half a mile an hour because that is the speed of the treadmill. There are 5, 280 feet in a mile. So she’s going to be covering about half that over the course of an hour. But she’s got to go 12 feet in every single lane. She’s got to do that 10 times. But basically the way we can do it is if she has 16 seconds in each lane. So she would be experiencing the amount of crossing that she would be experiencing if she was just out there on the road crossing at half a mile an hour. Right. That’s, yeah, that’s what I got too. Should we have rehearsed this with like a rubber chicken? I mean, I don’t know exactly. Well, this is what I’m thinking, okay? I wasn’t listening to you. Rubber chicken? No, real chicken. We need to talk logistics. I’m driving. When you’re going on the on ramp, onto the interstate, I need to turn the stop sign to a walk sign. I need to turn on, the conveyor belt thingy, and then I’m gonna take Chloe out, and then I’m gonna let her start walking as you start to get on the interstate. Are you sure you can do all this at the same time? Yes, yes, yes. I don’t know why we did this. I think we should switch. It’s too late now. – [Link] Chloe, don’t be nervous. You leave that to me. – [Rhett] Okay, here we go, Link. I am entering the on ramp. Alright, I’m turning, I’m turning the walk sign. Okay, I’m gonna do this just like a normal person. Normal speed. Good girl. Chloe is in a hover position above the walking position. – [Rhett] 16 seconds in this lane. – [Link] She’s walking. Oh, nope. She’s stopping. We got about two seconds. Okay, let’s try again. There you go. Walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking. – [Rhett] Okay. Stopping. Okay. We’ve got eight seconds in this lane. We need another eight. She’s kind of just chilling. She’s not really walking on the treadmill. You’re saying that she’s on the treadmill and then she’s falling off? She’s riding the treadmill. She’s riding it off. Can you hold her in place and let her legs move? I feel like that would be acceptable. – [Link] Look at that, Chloe. It’s the interstate. You’re on it. Here we go. Oh, yes, girl. If she’s walking, you’ve got to tell me. I can’t see. She’s walking. Okay, ten seconds. Yes. She’s walking. She’s doing it. She’s loving it. Okay, changing lanes! – [Link] Yes. – [Rhett] Changing lanes! – [Link] Yes. – [Rhett] Is she still walking? – [Link] Yes. – [Rhett] Okay, all right. She did a little bit more than 16 in this one, so I’m gonna go a little bit less than 16. I’m just trying to keep an average of 16. – [Link] Yes. There were a lot of moving parts to this. I mean, it was bordering on chaos. And by the way, we were not alone. In the front passenger seat the entire time was an animal monitor from the American Humane Society taking notes. Well, he had a monitor that was showing him everything that was happening in the back with you and the chicken. And he wasn’t reacting at all. Stone faced. I thought we were the first people to do this, but based on his reaction, I think he sees this kind of thing every couple weeks at least. Apparently. You know, chicken on a treadmill in the back of a van. Yep. Check. We gotta experience this lane. – [Link] There we go. Oh yeah, girl. – [Rhett] It’s a great lane. – [Link] She’s walking now. – [Rhett] It’s a great lane. – [Link] Now she’s walking. I’m going to the next lane. Just keep going. – [Rhett] Okay. Okay. Okay. – [Link] Yes, girl. – [Rhett] Experience this lane. – [Link] There you go. – [Rhett] You’re walking. You’re doing it, Chloe. – [Link] Chloe, you’re doing it. I gotta get to the carpool lane. – [Link] Yes, yes, yes. Go, go, go, go, go. – [Rhett] Going into the carpool lane. – [Link] She’s walking. She’s loving it. Shit, I think she even is looking… Hit the screen a little bit out of her right eye. – [Rhett] Okay. Okay. About five more seconds, and I think we can hit her liminal space, because she has completed half the crossing. – [Link] 3, 2, 1. – [Rhett] Enter liminal space. I’m going back. Liminal space. Liminal space. Here we go. Here we go. – [Rhett] Is she in liminal space? We’ve entered liminal space. – [Rhett] Okay, now things gets quiet. We’re liminal space. Liminal space is the concept of having left one state of being, but not yet having arrived at your next stage. Now, Rhett and Link aren’t really using it correctly here, but they’re trying to give Chloe one continuous road crossing experience. Like as far as she knows. – [Rhett] We gotta find a place where we can turn it around all while she stays in liminal space. She’s crossing the busiest road in America. In America. We’re just here for it. What? Did I see a forehead? Did you see a forehead? Did you ask me something about a forehead? Oh, you have a forehead camera? I have a forehead camera. Oh, I can see it. – [Link] Yes. Okay. What? Nothing. All right, let’s make the switch. Okay, make the switch. All right. We’ve stopped. I’m not doing a lot. I’m not doing a lot. I know you’re not doing a lot. I’m trying to remain in liminal space. All the cars are going in reverse. She’s a chicken. I don’t think she understands how cars work. Listen, my back hurts. I just think, keep her in the stroller. That’s the Jason Segel way. I’m not gonna argue with it. Okay, here’s the thing. She needs to be in liminal space, technically, until the moment that we get right in the middle across the median. On the overpass? On the overpass, when we go over the overpass. She needs a moment of non liminal space to experience the crossing of the median. You should get the stroller on here. – [Link] Okay. Yeah, yeah. This is not happening, Chloe. You are experiencing nothing at all. – [Link] Get the wheel out of the stroller. Jason Segel gave us a shitty stroller. What do you want the signal to be for when I’m crossing the median? Put a peace sign. Peace sign, okay. All right, I’m gonna lock in. Yes, let’s do it. Activating the treadmill. Great. – [Rhett] Okay, Link, I’m about to get onto the bridge. Okay, and. Look, Chloe, you’re jumping the median. Liminal space. – [Link] Yes. We got it. That was beautiful. Beautiful. Okay, we’re back on track. I’m gonna get all the way back to the carpool lane. In Chloe’s mind, it will be one continual crossing. I’m gonna dip in, dip out. Here we go, I’m dipping in. 16 seconds of bliss. Look, Chloe. Look, Chloe. Stand up and look around. We’re in. We’re out of liminal space. You’re in the carpool lane. – [Rhett] We’re coming back out. We’re coming back out. I can talk loudly again. It’s hard to come out of liminal space. This feels about like 12, 13, 14. No, but we’re crossing the interstate. The busiest road in all of the United States of America. Chloe, you’re doing it. You’re halfway through the second half. That’s 75 percent total. – [Rhett] Changing into the next lane. – [Link] One one thousand. Two one thousand. You got it. This goes without saying. – [Rhett] And here we go. I’m moving on over. – [Link] One more lane. You can stay in this lane. This is the exit. We did it. Chloe, you did it. Chloe, you did it. – [Rhett] You crossed the busiest road in America. I think she’s taking a nap. The only chicken in the world to ever do that, by the way. Yes, you deserve a treat. Blow the horn. Celebration horn! ((Car Horn)) Yeah! Chloe did it. She crossed the busiest road in the nation. – [Link] And we counted a privilege to have bore witness to history being made in an experience unlike any other for Chloe. And by proxy. All chickens, henceforth, forever, always. Chloe! Chloe’s back! Where have you been? I was driving around with those two tall guys. Oh, why? They kept saying something about a journey. I think it was more about them than it was about me.