[Music] [Applause] [Music] hey everybody this is Charles Neal from dispatches from Myrtle Beach with my son link from good mythical morning how you doing son hey Dad I’m doing good good it’s always good to reconnect with you so what’s what’s new down there in uh Myrtle Beach well it’s been any snow ain’t had no snow yet but it’s got cold down here I had to cover my string beans up in the backyard so I’m still trying to grow some soda Frost wouldn’t kill them so we could pick some more so because it got down to like 32 and 33 at night and he fits 32 at the beach it’s cold yeah I would say that’s pretty much freezing yeah from a technical perspective yeah well uh I got a little something to talk to you about I said we’re not going to do new holler out stories today you’re kind of in trouble really is this a joke or I got an email with the subject line you should set your son straight oh it said could you please correct your son about South Carolina okay and a recent episode of GM Moore he said there are no cities in South Carolina no local governments right and no Mayors nope it’s a fun fact it’s typically kind of fact that uh Rhett would present I don’t know I don’t know how it came out of my lips but it because it seems like something he would have said but it is true and I did say it um yeah there’s no like local municipalities like everybody just kind of fends for themselves there’s like it’s medieval down there where you are no it ain’t right no there’s no Mayors there’s no we hey North Myrtle Beach has got a mayor we got city councilman we just went not long ago voted which was like cosplay though right for what it’s cosplay no it’s like it’s they’re just they’re pretending to do government down there no we don’t like no South Carolinians can’t be governed yeah yeah hey we get governed down here sometimes I don’t like how they govern me but the you know oh they do uh govern down here and you better sure remember and believe that uh they make laws down here just like they do in California where you live where so so now we’re getting into it one of our Myrtle beasts sent this in and wanted to make sure that you knew that we do have no government down here you’re gonna have to prove it do you personally know anyone in government in the state of South Carolina have you ever met anyone who their full-time job is working in government I have met the mayor before yes mayor of what North Myrtle Beach of the Shag Club no North Myrtle Beach what the city of North Myrtle Beach okay what’s this person’s name it just slipped away from me I I had it’ll come how convenient yeah how convenient I met a person who doesn’t have a name what does this mayor look like uh she’s a nice looking uh blonde-headed woman okay well that’s very superficial dad a nice looking blonde woman what she does a good job you don’t describe politicians that way you don’t a nice looking blog why not I think she’s a Southern girl that lives down here so I mean okay so it’s a blonde woman who’s very well put together that’s what I hear you saying she does a good job of what she does and the city councilman yeah but does she get paid to do it though I mean is it a volunteer type thing no she gets paid okay all right I’m backing out but yes I stand by the fact that I have said on record many times that I’ve referred to South Carolina as the underbelly of North Carolina like I’ve always looked down on it and um my mind is is ready to be changed uh I can’t say that anything that you’ve produced so far Myrtle Beach has changed my mind well not yet I work on it some more and then I’ll see if I can’t get some more credibility for you you converted you converted man you were you were total North Carolina born and raised that’s right so have have you defected to the underbelly are you Allegiant to the South Carolina yes I I’m a I I am a South Carolina resident the the roads don’t have the roads don’t have lines the roads don’t have line the roads don’t have like you know how on the edge there’s like a white line and in the middle there’s like yellow lines you don’t have that in South Carolina yes they do they’re just they’re all like golf cart paths oh my God man hey we got Lions on the road all the houses are made of shiplap no it’s not they I don’t know of a house down here just made out of shiplap on the inside well I know one in North Carolina that has a lot of ship left in it one but I’m not calling yeah I’ll back down again I’m just I’m setting you up to be the champion of South Carolina I’m like the I’m what they call the heel dad you know in wrestling like a a tar heel I’m the yeah yeah I’m a tar heel I’m the guy you that’s the only way I’ll be a tar heel is to be the one known the one hated for his views on South Carolina like looking down on South Carolina it is below it is below we can leave it at that you know it’s just a little foil you know it’s just a little foil for for entertainment all right but I mean every word of it it’s time for our first edition of link is this TMI I got something I wanted to talk to you about and tell you about uh I went to the doctor a couple of well I went for a physical about three months ago and uh okay I had uh come back in my test before you get your blood drawn get all your tests done and all that thing and yeah my uh prostate level was kind of high okay so they wanted me to go see a prostate doctor and I’d already seen one here he when I had that kidney stone so I made an appointment to go see him and I didn’t see Dr ganji I saw the PA that day and and we liked it Nelson’s his name and he come in and he said well this is what we’re going to do we’re going to set you up a time to come in and we’re going to do a test on him where they have to run a tube up your butt and and go up to your prostate and he says and we’re going to take 12 specimens off of your prostate they go up your butt I guess okay yeah and so he said I’m gonna go ahead and tell you he said when you have this done every time they take one of them samples out it’s like getting kicked by a mule what and I thought to myself all right I got to come and have this then I said why in the world would you tell somebody two or three weeks before you gonna have it that every when you got to worry about this and you’re gonna go have it done whether or not you got something wrong with you not that every time and they’re gonna take 12 specimens out of it and then every time they do it it’s like you’re gonna get kicked by Mew yeah it’s like hey you might have cancer uh and the only way we get to find out is you’re going to get kicked by a mule 12 times it’s basically the scenario so uh well hold up okay so when are you going in for this I’ve already been in and got oh you didn’t so you haven’t you’ve you haven’t told me about no so not anything about it we yeah I just found out last what wins do you know the result can you just tell me the results first so that if this is supposed to be a fun story I can’t figure that out because I’m trying to sit here and decide if you have cancer well the results were when I went in to see Dr gangy and he pulled the sheet out and where they took all those 12 samples out every one of them was negative I didn’t have no cancer okay great everything was good okay so you have me concerned a little bit but now I okay I can I can move on from the concern and also you’ve you’ve told me that they did take the 12 samples so now is this is this a fun fairy tale of you getting kicked by a mule 12 times well because I’m ready for this when they came in and uh I told Dr ganji I said I’ve heard this hurts to write smart he said nah we got a new procedure now we’re gonna run up we’re gonna take a needle and go up there and dead and you you know like novocaine or something and it won’t hurt as bad and I mean so you walked in looking for the mule I walked in looking for the mule and and didn’t get much of a mule which was a good thing yeah what if you walked in there and there literally was a mule in there like just backed up I might would have just backed on out the door and went to another doctor so so so keep going what was it like he would tell me after they gave me the stuff the dead and the prostate and stuff he’d say all right I’m gonna I’m gonna get another sample and every time okay hold on so well hold on what position are you in here are you are you standing are you bent over like you’re gonna get a paddling no I’m laying on debate I’m laying down on my side are you in child’s pose with your knees underneath you yeah well one knees pulled up and the other one pulled up on the on top of it on the other side on my eyes on my side you were in the fetal position yeah okay and I couldn’t hey they didn’t have nothing where I could see what was going on or nothing didn’t have a rear view mirror no sir was there a cheek spreader no I well if they did they did it theirself I mean with their hands every time he’d get ready to take a sample he’d say all right Charles I’m taking a sample and you can hear something say snap a click something click oh and I thought that ain’t too bad it didn’t hurt too bad you know it was I’ve had a lot of things hurt a lot worse and then so this went on for 12 times he said all right I’m gonna take another sample clip all right and he he’d wait a minute and he said I’m gonna take another sample click and he did this 12 times oh and I thought then I’ll be glad when this is over with now when they they don’t have to go that deep for the prostate because you can reach the prostate with your with your finger yeah and that’s that can be a good thing he did though exam on me with his finger when he was checking he said I really don’t think there’s nothing wrong with you he said because your prostate and all that stuff is smooth he said it’s smooth I said okay all right that’s a good thing did he ask for your number no no he didn’t ask for money did you want his no I didn’t want anything it’s like oh I mean hey the only way to tell if it’s smooth is by rubbing it and I’ve been told that if you rub the prostate that that it could it could lead to some some good things I don’t know but hey this Nelson guy’s pretty because pretty neat guys because when I went back in he remembered that I was doing a dispatches from Myrtle Beach and he said tell me again the name of your show I want to listen to it and I I told it to him let’s give him a holler a holler out to you Nelson you put your finger in my dad’s butt and you rubbed his prostate and found it to be very smooth very smooth that’s right Nelson pretty neat guy from what I’ve heard but the story doesn’t end there does it no but I don’t know if I can talk about the rest of it because I’ve been told I can’t talk about the rest of it that means it’s the best part of the story yeah you know we can always cut it out later you know I can help you decide if it needs to stay in the episode by hearing it well the only other thing that Dr ganji told me said he said that when you go home you have to ejaculate two or three times because you’re gonna have blood in your semen and coming out of you through your prostate set really the first time it bleeds pretty good it pours out pretty good but it don’t hurt so I mean you just have to keep doing that till you get rid of all get all that blood out of you so it just feels like a a it feels like a normal ejaculation jizz yeah but it’s blood yeah oh yeah and you got to do it three times yeah yeah three or four to get it before it’s clear again so what clear yeah yeah pretty clear yeah okay so if you take into account like the refractory period I mean you might be talking you might be talking like a an eight to 24 hour period before you’ve you’ve you’ve cleaned it out took about two weeks two weeks oh you’re you’re spacing them out yeah yeah okay well yeah you know there’s there’s a right time for everything that’s right man I’m you know what I’m glad you told that part because I think that that hey that’s part of it people get you know you people get you you get your prostate zinged and then you gotta you gotta know well you got to know how to deal with the aftermath these are the these are the type of things that Fathers and Sons need to be talking more about Dad I’m glad you shared this with me because now I know when I got when I go in for if I have to go in for some sort of prostate thing I’m gonna remember this and I’m gonna feel better about it somebody’s going to tell me about the mule and it’ll be like [ __ ] that’s right did they put you in like a Twilight for for a colonoscopy I had a colonoscopy and they put me in a Twilight but they didn’t do that for this because I guess it’s a lot shallower or something I didn’t want to get put to sleep I’ve been put to sleep enough so of course I like to I think I got to go back just once a year and pretty neat Nelson’s gonna yeah gonna give it another whoop check your oil again check them all again yeah yeah you know I think you could just go to Jiffy Lube you know they should they should add that that Dad that’s come on now think about this it’s a pretty good idea Jiffy Lube you get your oil changed what are you doing you’re just sitting there waiting for him I know it’s quick I know what happens in a jiffy I you know I believe the marketing but you’re just sitting there why can’t they have a proctologist give everybody a rectal exam at the same time check your oil and check your oil you know what I’m saying get a double oil two for one yeah for one we’re gonna have a doctor’s office and a deeper Lube together you said it yourself Nelson’s not a doctor he’s just a PA well some Pas is just as good as doctors yeah but I think they’d be willing to work out of a Jiffy Lube if the if the price was right I did wouldn’t they they might be hey I last mess on that if he wants to start a business and start working at a Jiffy Lube doing a prostate thing I’ll invest in that oil Checkers oh yeah I don’t want nothing to do with it I I you know I I I’m fine it’s your loss dad I don’t know I’m just saying I don’t want to do with anything checking nobody I I I’m not going to be the ones back there watching what’s going on you you can you can do the the automotive part yeah undo that and you can do the tail part no Nelson no I’m I’m marketing I’m just I use my mouth well hold on that didn’t sound right I’m not going to use my mouth Nelson’s gonna use his finger and I’m gonna talk about it Nelson you’re in on this okay well Nelson did not know what he even signed up for well I got some emails we’re gonna run through it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag but I got an email from Ewan Watson he says a nun is taking a bath she hears a knock at the door she asked who is it in the voice outside response I’m the blind guy the nun thinks for a moment and then decides to get out of the bath and let him in the man enters and says nice breath now where do you want these blinds laughs see now we’re getting religious we got political that’s a good one I thought that was pretty good nice breasts okay yeah I thought it was pretty good too there I don’t have anything else to say about it all right okay our second email then is from Sandra and Dusty he said what did the cannibal do after he dunked his girlfriend what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend see you’d be tempted to think that he ate his girlfriend which sends me down two different paths I don’t know Dad what did the cannibal do when he dumped his girlfriend he wiped his butt oh gross God I thought I don’t know what Nelson would think of that he’s probably he’d probably be more comfortable with it it’s just another day at the office for Nelson foreign I got another email from Austin Carr the email subject and I says premature painting produces persistent primer problem okay this guy’s just asking for some advice just to let you know I recently moved into an apartment where I received the landlord special they didn’t Prime the walls before painting So now paint is flacking off the walls and onto the furniture is there a way to right their wrongs well I’m there’s a way to right the wrongs but it sounds like uh if it’s the walls and not the trim work they probably it sounds like it had semi-gloss paint on the walls and they didn’t sand the walls Indian when they ever what before you moved in and painted over them it didn’t have a way for the paint to adhere and stick to the wall so it’s peeling off now if it’s not the walls and it’s the trim work it’s probably because the trim work had oil-based paint on it and they painted it with latex paint and it don’t take it long and it’ll just peel off in sheets and just fall off so either one of them I don’t know either way you got to start over you got to start over and you gotta get some primer and and sand the walls and you got to Prime them again and then you got to and then you can paint them and it’ll it’ll fix them and you may have to do some Sheetrock mud and put some on it because these when these prices peel off and then it leaves a rough texture so you may have to put some Sheetrock mud on it and sand it and get it smoothed back out and then pry and put some more primer on it then too so because when you put the sheetrock mud on there you got to prime it too so good God hey if it’s gonna be an ordeal fixing what you got you might ought to uh find you another apartment exactly this is the landlord’s problem man this is complicated but not sexual in any way no except for people who are really turned on by like detailed paint problem solving and I’m sure I’m sure that is you know a kink so in an effort to keep everything a little bit sexual around here I’ve now done my part and you’ve done yours dad you know by just answering the question well I tried to help him yeah I answered yeah you try to help yeah yeah you’re in for it move on or get that landlord of working that’s what I’d be doing I’d be calling the landlord I got a another email from Morgan Keane okay it says my fiance and I have been religiously listening to dispatches from Myrtle Beach since the debut the what whatever no the what [Laughter] yeah yeah I’m pretty sure we’re your number one fan at this point so I figured you’d be the best person to help us out with the situation okay we’re having a baby girl in December and we have no idea what to name her hoping you could take a hack at it great idea well now whatever whatever you say I think they’re going I think they’re obligated to take it so I don’t even want you to tell them without the disclaimer that they have to accept it like this is the child’s name well I come up with more than one name I don’t want them just to have one to pick from you didn’t okay you didn’t pick me so you’re giving them options but I’m giving them some options and everything but the and I know it’s a girl but the first name I came up with was chance that Dad didn’t you have a dog named Chance um you naming a kid after your dog I don’t hey I like the name chance I I thought about you don’t remember the dog yeah name it morning uh Lorna Witt that chance and it didn’t did it didn’t fly with that so it might not fly with this but I like that name what was that what was that ciao that you had the child that bit you it might have been chance I don’t know that’s been a long time ago I uh I think it was chance okay so that’s an option dad loves that name but uh and then I put morning I thought you know if you name it if you name a kid morning you say good morning morning yeah be be something that’ll be fun yeah that’ll be fun for them that’s a good option and then uh put Misty because it kind of like kind of went with something with mythical with your show and stuff so I thought okay yeah yeah a little branding time in here Misty yeah Misty and then Isabella and they just some old names like when I was growing up that he used and Sophia and then the last one because the baby was going to be doing born in December I said just name the baby December so oh I thought you’re gonna say Santa to the list no Wes don’t let’s not name that little girl Santa can I contribute anything yeah that’s hey okay all right Morgan Santa yeah you can add Santa to the list I I mean if you want to be in good with Santa there’s no better way than than to name your kid Santa I’m that’s just all I’m saying so Sophia Isabella Isabella I like that because you because Izzy is a fun nickname um uh chance man okay these are your options you have to choose from these options uh and Santa is on the list okay yeah if you had to choose one Dad if you were choosing for them like what are you putting at the top of the list well I like Isabella okay I like Izzy I think that would be good what was what went into naming me I don’t think we’ve ever talked about this it won’t hard because uh I knew I I knew you gonna be the uh if we had a boy I knew you was going to be Charles Lincoln Neil the third they won’t gonna be new I didn’t have to think about no other names I said I was going because you were always Junior that’s right like you went by Junior before I was born at some point I was tempted to think that you became Junior once you named me the third but that’s not true right no but my birth certificate that Charles Lincoln Neil Jr on it yeah because Daddy’s name is Charles Lincoln Neal so even before you and Mom had me you were already thinking but like was it even before like you were married before you were thinking about like when you just thought about having kids you just assumed like well I’m a junior so if I have a son I’d like for him to be the third like was that kind of the narrative all along that was my thinking I you know I was you know who I was married to we had a son I’d want him named Charles Lincoln neither third yeah I thought the same thing you know I always thought I really like my name you know I always I’ve always went by link you know you you always went by Charles and then Papa always went by Lincoln so I was like I want yeah it was kind of an easy decision for me I was I was always fond of it and the lineage and I don’t know I just rep I just like what it represented and I like how it felt and I and I liked it practically too so like all the boxes were checked so it seemed like a special thing to carry on and um yeah it just worked so it’s like if I had a son which I didn’t we had a daughter and then we’re like well let’s keep going so when we had Lincoln we knew that he was going to be the fourth and I liked the fact that like there are a lot of there’s not a lot of fourths out there these days so I thought that was special and um that we would then continue the cycle and that he would be called Lincoln so now will it continue dot dot dot when we were at the wedding we Lincoln was talking to Lando or something and he brought up he said have you ever seen the you remember you seen the picture of where you and I and daddy and he him Lincoln was in it in the in the bean field they got they were talking about all four generations yeah all the same name and a picture with everybody yeah that’s a special picture so I thought that was pretty special that he he thought enough of it that it was special too I thought that was pretty neat him it’s 16 did he he thought that was special too 17. that’s right yeah yeah well I got another email from Jake lyscars this is an antidote not a joke he said pronounce good God pronunciation is pronunciation is like masturbation it feels good in the moment but in the end you’re only screwing yourself that it was still funny but the first word I did not understand procrastination oh procrastination is like masturbation yeah it feels good but what but in the end you’re only screwing yourself well well it depends on in the end it depends on how you do it right yeah okay all right we’ll have to ask Nelson we’ve been talking about a lot of stuff this weekend I hope some of it yeah people learned and about you prostate and everything but we we’re gonna swing into something else next week and I hope all our Myrtle beasts keep missing and seeing what’s going on with us and just having a good time and see if we enjoy keep enjoying what we’re doing so share it with you share it with your friends you’re listening you’re enjoying this your family members people who you think people with prostates people without prostates people who had prostates that no longer have prostates people who have growing or shrinking prostates no matter what prostate State you’re in you’re invited and you should invite people who you care about to become shag a listeners without Myrtle Beach that’s right that’s right tell them about us and my email is rather be shagging53 at AOL.com and I hope to see you soon son and we’ll probably see you in about another week so definitely you can count on it bye love you love you too and this episode shrinks into memory just like my dad prostate the 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